


Love Can Save Us

by xxDeja_Uchihaxx



Series: Love Can Save Us [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Art, Artists, Child Abuse, College, Cute, Dancing, Depression, Eventual Levi/Eren Yeager, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, First Relationship, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Friendship/Love, High School, Inspired by Music, Levi and Eren are Hardcore Otakus, M/M, Music, Panic Attacks, Road Trips, Slow Build, Smut, Song Lyrics, Support, Violence, ereri, levi eren, snk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-05 03:11:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 67
Words: 409,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3103412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxDeja_Uchihaxx/pseuds/xxDeja_Uchihaxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is in High School, just going through the motions, living a miserable life with an abusive father. The only thing that can get him through his day is his art, and even that is taken away from him. Suddenly, as if by fate, he meets a certain raven-haired stranger, who is a studio art major at Trost University, and his life suddenly changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING**  
> This fic contains Abuse/Violence. DO NOT continue if that will trigger you. 
> 
> Otherwise, please Enjoy <3 This fic is near and dear to my heart and I have been working super hard on it!! <3 comments=love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warning**   
>  Violence and Abuse
> 
> If these things bother you, move on. This is a really heavy and emotional fic that involves Eren being then center of a not so loving home.
> 
> Otherwise, please continue on and enjoy! Thanks ♡♡♡

Eren’s POV

It was 3rd period, math to be specific, as I drew in my sketchbook to help the class pass by a little faster. I was working on a landscape. Not really my strong suit, but hey that’s why I needed to practice right?

“Jaeger!” Before I knew what had happened the sketchbook was snatched off of my desk and slammed shut. I closed my fist tight and glared up at my math teacher. “If you put half as much effort into studying for my class as you did into your art homework, you would be passing wouldn’t you! See me after class!” He walked away with my sketchbook in his grasp and the whole class was staring at me. What an ass. Sure I’d put effort into it if I understood it. I’d put effort into it if it just clicked like art did for me. I sighed and stared at the page of gibberish in front of me. The rest of the class seemed to drag on, and finally the bell rang. I remained in my seat until every last student was out of the room. Armin gave me a soft smile, and I told him I’d meet up with him later. I walked up to my teacher’s desk to have the dreaded lecture about my grades.

“Do you not want to pass my class, Eren?”

“No sir, that’s not it, I do…”

“Then what’s the problem, because I really don’t understand why you don’t pay attention and why you don’t turn in assignments.” Like I could tell you. Whatever.

“Sorry sir. I’ll try harder. I’ll see if I can get a tutor or something. Maybe Armin can help me catch up?”

“That’s a damn good idea, Jaeger. If you keep slacking off, you WILL fail. I’m not joking.” He handed my sketchbook back and I took it and held it close to my chest.

“Yes sir. I understand.”

“Good. You’re dismissed.” I walked quickly to my 4th period so I wouldn’t be late. Luckily my teacher wouldn’t mind even if I was. I held my sketchbook close as I nearly ran to get to my refuge. The smell of paint and colored pencils wafted through the air as I walked into the familiar room.

“Eren! I’m glad you are here! I thought you were going to be absent today!” Ms. Stallis said with a smile as she waved to me. She had her hair pinned up today and it was a different shade than the day before. Some sort of teal color. She had an apron on, although it didn’t do much to shield her arms from the paint splatters. I tried my best to shoot her a smile back, but I failed. The other AP students were already at work, so I merely sat my sketchbook down and sighed. She frowned and walked over to me. “What’s up, buttercup?”

“Mr. Crouch was giving me a hard time. I just don’t get math….and I may have been sketching in class.” 

“Hmmm….have you tried a tutor?” I nodded and thumbed at the corner of my sketchbook. 

“I just don’t get it. I’ve tried and it just doesn’t make sense.”

“Well don’t feel bad about that Eren, you know what I’ve always been told. Artists and mathematicians use different sides of their brains. So one side automatically grows stronger.  
You’ll figure it out! Just keep trying….and you may not want to sketch in there. I know it’s boring, but I also know how you zone out!” She said with a wink. I gave her a soft smile. 

“Now go ahead and get to work, you still have plenty of time.”  
I pulled out the pastel drawing I had been working on for the last week and frowned. It hadn’t really went in the direction I’d wanted, but I would stick with it. I woorked meticulously on the details, being careful not to smudge the pastels too much as I worked, and before I knew it, the bell rang and I was once again, rushing to clean up. I ran out the door and down the hallway, hoping to catch Armin still.

He was waiting for me at the front of the school patiently. He was aware that art was my last class and knew by now that I was constantly late cleaning up, but he was my best friend and didn’t mind waiting. Mikasa, my step sister, also waited with him out front.

“Hey guys! I’ll only be able to walk halfway if that’s okay! I need to stop by the arts and crafts store! There’s a charcoal set on sale that I’ve been wanting!”

“So lame, Eren.” Mikasa said as we began walking towards our home. I frowned and followed after them. I didn’t really care what she thought. 

“I think it’s cool!” Armin said with a smile. She rolled her eyes and we continued on, snow crunching beneath our feet. Our semesters here would never fail to amaze me. They worked on a really strange calendar. The new semester had just started two weeks ago, the first week of December, and now here we were freezing our asses off in the snow. This was usually about the time teachers start to become concerned with my grades, so it makes sense. “So what did Mr. Crouch say, Eren?”

“He bitched at me. Said I needed to get my grades up.”

“Oh…well that is true. All you ever do in there is sketch.”

“It’s not like I can understand anything!” Finally my eye caught the familiar sign of the art store and I picked up my pace. The last thing I needed was a lecture from my best friend too. “I’ll see you at home, Mikasa.” Before she could reply, I darted inside. I reminded myself of just how much money I had. How many little kid’s faces I’d painted at that birthday party to save up that much. It would definitely be worth it though! Ms. Stallis actually recommended me for the job! I walked happily down the aisles and spotted my prize. A red sale tag hung underneath and I smiled. I had enough for the charcoal, an eraser set, and a pad of charcoal paper!

I grabbed my things and headed up to the register, where a bored looking cashier leaned against the counter. Flipping through his phone. He looked dark, aside from the uniform he was wearing. Was that eyeliner? I can’t believe a chain store like this would allow that. His hair was dark also, and it was neatly split down the middle, with a little length hanging down in front. He sighed and set his phone down as I put my items on the counter. He forced out a hello, like it would kill him, and rang up my items. It came to 26.75. Shit. Damn tax. Damn math. 

“What’s wrong kid, mommy and daddy not give you enough lunch money to pay?” He said snidely as I looked at the money in my wallet. I only had $26.00. I sighed. 

“My mommy is dead and my daddy doesn’t give me shit.” Where did that come from? Well…he did start it… “Just take the erasers off.” His expression didn’t change.

“What a pain. How much do you have?”

“26.00” He reach in his pocket and pulled out the change and threw it onto the counter. 

“It’s more of a pain in my ass to call the manager up her for a void, besides you need those for charcoal.” Was he an artist too? His grey eyes continued to stare blankly at me and I handed over the rest of the money. 

“Thanks! I owe you!” He shrugged.

“It’s just seventy-five cents, kid. No biggie.” He handed me the receipt and reach me the bag. I grabbed my supplies and before I could say thanks, his phone was in his hand again. 

The cold air hitting my face was just like a cold wake up of the environment I was about to walk into. What kind of mood would Dad be in today? I sighed and walked through the door quietly. 

“I’m home!” I announced as I dropped my things in the living room.

“Eren. In here. Now.” Shit. Just what I needed. I walked into the kitchen to find dad sitting at the table. “Sit down. We need to talk.” Ugh. This is bad. I took a seat across from him and stared at him, looking as passive as I could. “I got a phone call from your math teacher today.” Double shit. “He didn’t seem very happy with your grades…or your attention in class.”

“I’m sor-“

“I’M NOT DONE.” I nodded and sat there patiently. 

“He told me you were sketching in class. IN MATH CLASS? Why?” This was a trick question. If I reply I was going to get screamed at. If I didn’t reply, I was going to get screamed at, so I just stayed quiet. 

“EREN! You need to pay attention and not be a damn failure! Give me your sketchbook!” I shot him a glare. “NOW.” I handed it over, knowing perfectly well what he was capable of. 

“Go get your other shit too. Everything. I’m locking it up until your grades get better!”

“But!” Before I could say another word his hand met my face and he slapped me so hard, I couldn’t think twice. Tears welled up in my eyes from the sting of the impact. 

“What, are you gonna cry? You are a disgrace. Go get everything. Plus what you just bought. I know you stopped on the way home. You always stop there when Mikasa gets home first.” I went into the living room and picked up the new bag of supplies I had just worked so hard for. I wanted to cry, but he wouldn’t get to see that. I dropped my bag on the table on front of him. Next I went to my room and collected all of my art supplies. I knew to be thorough, because he was the type to search my room and punish me later if I didn’t comply with demands. I dropped all of my sketchbooks on the table with a sigh. “Only if you have art HOMEWORK, are you allowed to get these. Understood.”

“Yes, sir.” He dismissed me, and I walked up the stairs to my empty bedroom. I fell onto my bed and as soon as my face hit the pillow, my tears started. I couldn’t help this shit. I couldn’t help that my home life was so fucked up I couldn’t concentrate on homework here. I couldn’t help that math looked like some kind of word puzzle to me. No one understood. And now I felt this heavy pressure on my chest. I couldn’t express any of my feeling onto paper. I grabbed a regular notebook and tried doodling for a bit, but it seemed like a waste. All of my money was gone, so now I couldn’t even afford a pack of printer paper. Maybe I could get a ream from Ms. Stallis…but then she would ask questions. UGH! I just put my head under my pillow and cried myself to sleep. 

The following day was just as shitty, if not even worse. I had no sketchbook to pass my day quicker, and nothing to look forward to coming home to. Just mind numbing tv. I sighed. It was about 6pm, so I decided to slip on my shoes and go for a walk around town. Most of the town we lived in was a college campus, so it was relatively safe.

“I’ll be back in a while!” I said as I walked out the door. I didn’t even know where to go, I just needed to clear my head. If mom was still alive, would she have let dad treat us like this? I say us….but he treats Mikasa okay. He’s never raised a hand to her, which I’m thankful for. I’d rather it be just me… The snow crunched under my feet as I walked, and new flakes started falling lazily from the sky. Eventually I arrived at the center of the college. The maintenance crew was beginning to hang lights for Christmas, and everything was starting to be bathed in a warm amber light. I walked past a large window and saw a lone student working on a painting. This must be the art department. I longed to be inside. Even just to sit for a while in a familiar environment at least. I sighed and watched him work for a while. He seemed familiar somehow. Suddenly he turned and looked over his shoulder at me. It was the cashier from yesterday! 

Ugh oh! He looked pissed. He was walking towards the door and I turned to run away. 

“Hey, You fucking brat! What’s the deal? You like creeping up on people?”

“No! I’m sorry! I was just going for a walk a-and-“

“And what?! Huh! Thought you’d stare?!” My face was turning red. I didn’t know what to say. I just began to try to form some kind of sentence.

“I-I didn’t have anywhere t-to go, and then I saw you painting. It’s really good! I just wanted to watch! I’m sorry! I’ll leave!” His breath was swirling around him as he glared at me. 

“How long have you been out here anyways? You look cold.”

“Not that long.” I tried to lie, but I could see the layer of snow on my clothes.” He narrowed his eyes. “Come in if you want to watch so badly. I’m taking a break though.” He said as he started back inside.

“What?”

“I’m not saying it again, moron!” I followed quickly after him, into the door and warmth surrounded me. I got a better view of his painting from up close and smiled. The colors  
were great, even if it wasn’t finished.

“You’re that kid from yesterday right? Seventy-five cents?” I looked at the floor and nodded. “Can’t even afford a place to stay?” He asked as he was busy with the coffee maker. He looked like he was making a fresh pot.

“I’ve got a place to stay…” He looked over at me with those piercing grey eyes. He didn’t even seem to acknowledge that I’d said anything until he was done preparing the coffee pot to brew.

“Just don’t want to be there?” He asked as he leaned against the wall. He crossed his arms and looked at me with questioning eyes. All I could do was nod. How did he know? He had figured out more about me in the last 30 seconds then most people had in years. “Well, welcome to the studio anyways kid. It’s usually open. So…I guess if you ever need a place to hangout you should be okay here…what’s your story?”

“I…don’t want to talk about it.” He sighed and looked at the coffee slowly dripping into the pot.

“Look brat. I’m not going to photo shop you a college ID unless you fess up. That’s the deal.” My eyes got wide at his words.

“Why are you helping me?”

“Don’t turn this on me. Do you want a place to go or not?!”

“YES!” I grabbed my hair and tears nearly stung at my eyes. The only other person that knew how bad it was at home was Armin, and I don’t even think he knew the worst of it. “My dad’s a total ass okay! My mom passed away, so it’s just him, me and my sister there. He takes all of his shit out on me. In more ways than one. He took all of my art supplies away yesterday. All because of fucking math class.” He didn’t say a word. He just kept the same stoic expression on his face and walked to the coffee pot once it stopped dripping. He poured us both a cup, and left mine on the counter. 

“Yours is right there. I’ll be back.” I frowned. He hadn’t even replied to the confession of my life’s secrets. I got up and walked over to my cup and loaded it down with powdered cream and sugar, stirring nervously as I did so. I don’t even know this guy, and I’m trusting him so blindly. Oh well. It’s not like my life is all roses and daisies.  
I heard a beep and the lock on the door clicked. He walked in with something in his hand. 

“Don’t lose this. I’m not making another one. A-because I can get expelled. And B. because I’m lazy.” I nodded and followed him across the room to a small computer. He placed the ID in the printer, and began typing in information. “What’s your name?” 

“Eren. Eren Jaeger.”

“How the fuck do you spell that?” I laughed and spelled it out for him. He typed it accordingly and I watched carefully. He plugged his phone into the computer. “Jacket off.” I slid it off and tossed it into the chair next to him. He held his camera up. “Say, smile like a college freshman!” he said with a smirk. I grinned and he snapped my picture. “Nice. That’ll work.” He clicked a few more times, and ran the ID through the printer with an awful noise. I winced at the sound. “Don’t ask me how I found out I would work. It needs to dry now.” He let it sit in the printer for a long while before he even bothered to touch it. We sat together on the sofa, discussing different mediums and artists. I really did enjoy his company, even if he was an asshole.

“You never did tell me your name.”

“Levi. I figured you would have read one of the name tags, idiot.” Wow. Really? Was he an ass or was he helpful? I couldn’t decide. “But you are just a college freshman after all right? Ha.” He stood up off of the sofa and stretched, then walked over to the printer. He carefully touched the ink on the ID to see of it was dry and nodded. “Alright, I’ll run it through the laminator and it’ll be done!” He ran it through the weird machine and trimmed it carefully with scissors before handing it to me. “Get a lanyard or something to keep it on. So it won’t get lost. I’m serious. I won’t make you another.”

“Thanks! I really appreciate it!” He nodded and led me over to the door. Just scan the little box here and it’ll unlock for you. All the paper and supplies up against that wall there.” He pointed to the far wall that was filled to the brim with paper and supplies. “It’s all school provided. No one hardly uses it, because it’s pretty shitty stuff, it’s what the school uses our studio fees to buy. That’s fair game. Use all you want. Anything that’s got my name on it, you can use too, unless I leave a note on it from here on out. Or unless it’s locked. Got it?” My chest felt like it was going to explode.

“Do I ever have to go home?” He actually cracked a smile and patted my back.

“People DO sleep here sometimes. By the way Eren…Be prepared to experience some weird shit…welcome to Trost Universities Art Department, where only the mentally insane choose to study art apparently.”

I stayed there until Levi said he had to get back to work, and I let myself out. I treaded back home, back to the place that I dreaded even calling a home. At least I had a place to look forward to going to now. I fell back into the covers with a smile tonight. For once, I had something to look forward to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren get to sketch with Levi :3 and he finds a math tutor! <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Violence/abuse Trigger*
> 
> Good things happen though :3 <3 Read on! Comments are appreciated!!!

I text Mikasa after the bell rang for 4th period saying don’t wait up. I knew exactly where I was going after school. I took a shortcut straight to the college. I wonder if Levi would be working today or if he would be painting? I shrugged off the thought. Either way, I would be sketching. I had emotions that needed poured onto paper. It was particularly cold today, and I tried to hold my coat close as I walked quickly to the art building. As I got close to the huge windows, I saw the familiar black under-cut and thin frame with his back to the window. I sighed in relief. Even if he wasn’t up to talking, just the silent company of someone to work alongside was enough. He was once again dressed in all black, and he had an apron on to protect his clothes. 

I scanned my ID, just like he showed me, and the door unlocked easily, automatically allowing me access. He turned to see me enter and nodded at my approach. He was simply staring at the painting from yesterday with his arms crossed.

“I hate it.” He said as he glared at it. I shuddered as I shook off the snow and stomped my boots at the door. I walked over to him and stared with him. 

“Why?” He shrugged and kept staring. 

“It’s just…not something I usually do. It’s too….free.” I squinted my eyes and looked at the painting closer. It was an abstract painting. It was the only one I’d ever seen of his, so I had no way to compare.

“What do you mean?” He shrugged again.

“Maybe I’ll tell you one day. I’ll take a break and come back to it.” He took off his apron and set it aside, plopping down on the couch with a sigh. “What’s up in the world of Eren Jaeger?” I frowned. 

“My math teacher threatened me again.” 

“Not good. Any way to bring up your grade? I’d offer to help but I’m barely hanging on in my own math class.”

“I told him I’d try to find a tutor, but I can’t afford it. I suggested my friend, but all he does is ask WHY I don’t understand. All the numbers look like gibberish. They are all jumbled together.” He frowned and his grey eyes pierced through me again. 

“I know I usually come off as a total asshole…because I am, but have you ever considered the fact that you may have a learning disability?”

“Like dyslexia?” 

“Sort of. I’ve got a friend. She’s a bit eccentric….well…more than a bit…she’s like a quadruple major…that’s beside the point. She may be able to help you.” 

“A quadruple major?”

“Yeah, she’s insane. I’ll have her pop in tomorrow. I have to work, but bring your homework. She’ll be here. Just in case it falls through though, let’s exchange numbers.” We quickly exchanged numbers and I entered his into my cell. “I’ll text you if she can’t make it, but she should be able to.” 

“I appreciate it.” He nodded and glanced back over at his painting and sighed. 

“I just want that thing to go away. I’m tired of it.” I frowned. His eyes looked tired. How long had he been here anyways?

“Maybe work on something else? I think I’m going to sketch for a while.” He smirked and returned his stare to me. 

“Yeah…that sounds…refreshing. I think I will.” He stood up and stretched and started pulling out drawers in his ‘art cart.’ He pulled out a sketchbook and a pencil set and joined me after I’d collected supplies from the classroom set. “You don’t have to use that garbage you know.” He said as he flipped through his sketchbook. 

“No! It’s fine, really! It’s actually a lot better than the stuff we have at school. I’m just practicing anyways.” He smirked and returned his eyes to the page in front of him. Soon the room was filled with nothing but the sound of the radio he’d left on earlier as we both drew silently. I looked up occasionally, however, to catch a glance of the guy that was   
slowly becoming a bigger influence on my life. His sharp silver eyes were intently focused on his sketchbook, and I was amazed that his concentration never broke. He looked…different than anyone I’d ever seen. Different than any guy I’d ever seen. The eyeliner made his eyes pop and made his face look…oddly attractive. He had piercings in his ears. Two sets in each one, and I was surprised he didn’t have any in his face. His eyebrows were furrowed as he drew and he broke his concentration for a split second to catch me staring.

“Oi, brat. If you are going to stare at me, at least draw me at the same time.” I felt red flood my cheeks as I pushed my pencil back to the paper. Why was I blushing? Ugh. How annoying. I pushed so hard my pencil broke and I fiddled with the pencil sharpener on the table. I heard Levi chuckle across the table from me.   
I went back to my drawing and slowly drifted back into my own little world. I began working on a detailed drawing of a surreal world, far far away from here, and suddenly I heard a chair scrape across the floor.

“Well I’m outta here. It’s 7:30 already, I need to get home.” Levi said as he began to tidy up. Had I really drifted off for 2 hours? No way. 

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t-“ 

“It’s no big deal Eren, I don’t even like bothering people when they get into it like that. I understand. We all have moments where we go full dive. You didn’t bother me. I’ve done it to people loads of times, so I can relate.” I sighed and looked down at my drawing. My pencil was almost worn down to the wood. 

“Alright. I’m glad I didn’t upset you.” He smirked again and began packing away things into his rollway cart.

“Why do you care what I think about you so much?” He closed the drawer carefully and walked over to the industrial sink to wash his hands. I frowned. I didn’t really want to tell him the truth but, oh well, what the hell.

“I know it sounds crazy…but you seem like the only person I can actually talk to without being judged…Even my best friends seem to jump down my throat lately.” He dried off his hands and threw away the paper towel. “They just think I’m lazy.” He frowned and walked back over to me. 

“Obviously that’s not the case or else you wouldn’t be sitting here working on this one drawing for two fucking hours straight. Give them time, if they are really your best friends, they’ll come around. They’ll find ways to help you.” I nodded and began packing away my own things. 

“Is there a place I can store my stuff here?”

He pulled out a roll of masking tape and a sharpie and wrote my name on it and stuck it on and empty cabinet, and I placed my drawings inside.

“Thanks, it wouldn’t turn out pretty if my dad knew I was here drawing.” His expression remained blank as he stored the tape away.

“What have you been telling him you were doing until 8 exactly?”

“Just making up things…usually at Armin’s. The friend I was telling you about. He’ll cover for me.” 

“Oh, gotcha.” Levi slipped a long black coat over his shoulders, it came down to his knees and he threw a backpack over his shoulders. “Be careful on the way home, Eren. These streets aren’t as safe as they look. Don’t forget your math book tomorrow also.” 

“Sure thing.” I slipped on my own coat and followed him to the door. He paused at the door for a moment, as if he wanted to turn back and say something, but he didn’t and walked out. 

“I’ll see you later. Goodnight.”

“Night!” I said as I walked in the opposite direction. I frowned as our footsteps got further apart. It was nearly 8. Hopefully dad would buy my story. I walked through the door and stomped off my boots.

 

“EREN! Come in here!” I sighed and slung my bag down by the door. He was sitting at the table again, looking pissed as usual.

“Yeah?” 

“Sit down.” Shit. Something was up. 

“Where were you all day?”

“With Armin-“

“Stop. I know you are lying. Don’t even fucking dig yourself in any deeper.” Wait…what? How did he know? I stayed silent and watched his expression. “Armin’s grandpa called earlier to warn me that he had the flu, and that you guys may be next. That’s when I asked him where you were.” Shit. I nervously held onto the table with my right hand and covered my face with my left hand as I tried to think of and excuse. “So where the fuck were you?” He wrapped my hand around my wrist, crushingly hard and I grimaced. 

“AGH! Hey! I-I was t-trying to find a math tutor! I think I found one!” He glared at me. My wrist was on fire as he nearly crushed it, but he didn’t let go. At least it wasn’t my right hand. 

“A tutor?” I nodded frantically, trying to shrug off the pain shooting through my arm.

“Y-Yes sir! I found one. We are supposed to meet tomorrow.” 

“It better be free dumbass, or you are getting a fucking job to pay for your own worthlessness!” He let go of my wrist, but only to use it to sling the chair (with me in it) down onto the floor with a thud.

“It’s free.” 

“Good. Bring those fucking math grades up.” That’s the last thing he said as I scrambled to pick up my chair. He dismissed me and I ran up the stairs. I was almost to my room when Mikasa stopped me in the hallway.

“Where were you?” she whispered. 

“It doesn’t matter. I’m meeting a tutor tomorrow. That’s all he needs to know.” She saw me holding my wrist and frowned. 

“God…Eren…”

“It’s fine.” She pulled me into my bedroom and shut the door behind us. She pulled up my sleeve and looked at the damage. My wrist was already starting to turn purple and swell.

“That’s not fine. I’ll go get some ice.” I grabbed onto her sleeve.

“NO. If you go get ice he’ll know it’s for me. I don’t want him hurting you too.”

“We’ll I’ll go get some ice water then! We can strain the ice out up here in the bathroom!” She was beginning to panic as she looked at my swelling wrist. I finally agreed to her plan. She ran downstairs and finally returned with half a glassful of ice and we gathered two grocery bags from my closet. She poured the ice in and tied it shut, gently setting it on my maroon wrist. I hissed as the cold met my skin, and frowned as I saw the tears gather in her eyes.

“I just don’t understand, Eren. I don’t understand why he’s like this now…” She pulled me into a hug and I leaned against her. Maybe he resented me for being so close to mom during the last few months of her being alive, while he pushed her away? Maybe he just hated me in general? Maybe he hated himself? Who knew. I wouldn’t tell Mikasa any of those things though.

“Who knows…we just have to deal with it the best we can. We still have each other. We just have to stay strong.” She nodded and gave me another hug. “You better go, before he   
comes looking for you.” She agreed and left me alone with my small bag of ice. I had the urge to send Levi a text, but I felt like I’d be bothering him with the useless drama that was my life, so I sighed and laid back into bed. Maybe tomorrow would be better. 

 

The next day

I woke up before my alarm even went off. Mostly due to the throbbing pain in my wrist, but also partly due to the puddle in my bed from the broken grocery bag. I sighed and sat up. I’d fallen asleep in the clothes from yesterday. I gave myself a few seconds to wake up, thumbing through the missed messages on my phone. One was from Armin from yesterday.

 

Armin: Please get assignments! I feel awful  

Another surprisingly was from Levi. I didn’t hesitate before opening it.

Levi: Hanji said she would meet you @ 4pm today. Don’t be late brat. Bring your homework. ALL OF IT. 

I sighed and typed a quick, (okay, thanks a lot!) before sending it. I thought for a moment about sending more, but once again, didn’t bother him with the drama. I hopped out of bed and grabbed my clothes for the day. I decided on a black long sleeve shirt. Maybe it would cover up my wrist at least. I headed to the bathroom, took a shower, and finished getting ready for the day. Afterwards, I ran downstairs to grab a quick bite to eat.

“Dad’s already gone.” Mikasa said as she sipped her coffee. I sighed and sat down in the chair.

“How’s your wrist?” She pulled back my black sleeve to reveal the black and blue marks, wrapped around a little less swollen wrist. “Oh, wow.”

“Yeah, hopefully in a few days it’ll be better.” I said as I sipped at my own coffee. She said a bottle of ibuprofen down in front of me and I thankfully took three. I slipped the bottle in my bag to take with me later. 

School dragged on as usual, and I ran to meet Hanji after words. I did, however remember to stuff my math book into my backpack, along with a list of assignments from Mr.Crouch. I scanned my ID and saw a woman in glasses sitting at the table sketching as I walked in. Was this her? I thought she was a math major?

“Are you Eren?” She asked excitedly. Yulp. Must be. I nodded and walked towards her. “I’m Hanji! Nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you too!” I glanced at her sketches. They were good. A few unknown species of animals were littered across the table and she began to gather them up into a neat little pile. “I wish we were here for art.” I said with a frown.” She patted me on the shoulder and I flinched. Contact from anyone these days was becoming for strained.

“Levi told me about your math problem! Don’t worry! I can fix you!” I raised my eye brow and she scooted closer. I took my math book and notebook out and set it on the table.

“Have you ever heard of an algorithm?” I shook my head and listened closely as Hanji pulled up the video of an exhibition she had attended. The artist had combined math and art into the same show, flawlessly making these digital pieces. “Anyways…I think it would help you to first realize the importance of math in your daily life…does that make since. Sometimes artists don’t get it because we see things so visually. We don’t want to measure or get things prefect, because we think we already portray the subject in our mind as perfect, but that’s not the case. That’s why we need training in proportion. That’s why we need to measure and learn math. I’m not going to go into depth about it now, because you’ll hear about it for weeks later on, but there is a whole three week lecture involving ratios. It’s called ‘the Golden ratio’, so that’s why math is important in your life. It makes art more beautiful. It makes art work.” I nodded as she quickly flipped through an art history book she’d brought along and pointed out a few examples. It finally made sense WHY I need math, but I was still hopeless at it.

“Okay Eren! Let’s get down to the dirty! Where do we start?” I gave her my homework list and she flipped through my book. We began going over problems and time began to drag on again, just like in math class, but, at least I had a tutor I could actually understand. I heard the door click behind me and it broke me out of my daze. 

“Levi! Nice to see you!” Huh? Levi was here? I leaned up on my arm and winced. Shit, I’d forgotten.

“What happened to your wrist Eren?” I frowned and pulled my sweater down.

“Hit it on the banister. I slid on the ice.” 

“It looked swollen!” Hanji said as she leaned forward, reaching for my wrist. I pulled back and fell out of my chair, landing at Levi’s feet. He stared down at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Smooth, brat.” He reach out his hand and I took it as I blushed. Hanji was frowning. 

“I’m fine! Really! I just need a math break!” She nodded, stood up and stretched. “I thought you worked today, Levi?”

“I did, but I got my shifts mixed up. I worked a 10-7, not a 1-9.” He said as he stretched and plopped down on the couch. Hanji looked at her watch and frowned.

“Wow guys, is it really that late?! I need to head out! I have a test tomorrow! Sorry Eren! Maybe more tomorrow?” 

“Sure! Thanks!” She grabbed her things and jetted off, the door clicking behind her. I sat down on the couch next to Levi and relaxed for a bit.

“She’s always running like that. So what’s up with your wrist?” He asked as he glanced over at me. I looked at it and sighed. He must have gotten impatient, because he reach over and lifted up my sleeve, revealing the black and purple grip marks over the angry swollen wrist. “Shit. What happened?” I frowned and tried to absent-mindedly rub the bruises   
away, wincing as I did so.

“He ugh found out I wasn’t with Armin…” Levi’s eyes widened as he stared at me.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?” Tears prickled at my eyes. Why? Why now. Not in front of him.

“Nope. He’s a complete ass. Armin’s Grandpa called to warn him that he had the flu and we may catch it and he was there waiting for me when I got back.” I was completely stripped of my barrier. My wall had crumbled in front of someone and it hurt like hell. My wrist hurt, my heart hurt, everything just hurt. I reach a hand up to wipe away the tears before they even fell, but more filled their place. 

“Shit, Eren. That’s just…” He saw me pawing desperately at my eyes and stopped talking. I didn’t want to bother Levi with my words, or with my life at all, but he’d already gotten sucked into the drama. Suddenly, without warning, I felt warm arms wrap around me and pull me in. My face pressed against his shoulder and I tried to hold back my tears.

“Cry. Just fucking cry. You shouldn’t have to deal with that bullshit. I’m pissed off for you. Sometimes you can’t be strong anyone.” That last comment broke me, and I let out a sob, my tears finally spilling onto his shirt. He held me close as I sobbed like a baby, and he rubbed my back every so often.   
Eventually my tears stopped, and I reluctantly pulled back. He reach me the tissues off the table and I wiped my face and nose. 

“I’m-not very good at comforting people…sorry.” He said as he leaned back against the sofa. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes.

“No, really that’s fine. It w-was fine.” My voice was still shaky. He was frowning as his eyes found my wrist again. He stood up and walked over to the sink and disappeared beneath it for a moment. He returned to me with a white package in his hand after a moment. 

“Roll up your sleeve for me.” I rolled my sleeve up to the elbow and rested my wrist across my leg. He broke open the package, and the tan elastic bandage fell onto his lap. He started wrapping it tightly around my forearm and worked his way up to my hand. I grimaced as he worked around the tender parts. “I think it may actually be sprained. Don’t do anything to strain it. Try to ice it if you can, ibuprofen for swelling and pain.” He fastened the bandage in place with the Velcro strip. 

“Thanks.” I said as I felt my wrist begin to throb.

“No problem.” My eyes were falling on him and it was all I could do to not stare. 

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you it’s rude to stare at people?” he said with a smirk as he crumpled the wrapper up in his hand, 

“Sorry.” He shrugged and stood, throwing the wrapper away.

“How about I walk you home? It’s late. Wouldn’t want your dad fussing because you were being tutored late. I’ll talk to him.” I sudden pang of regret burst through my heart. I didn’t want anyone else getting dragged into this. I didn’t want anyone else getting hurt because of me.

“N-No really! It’s fine! I’ll just head straight home! He’ll be fine tonight! I told him where I was going to be, so it’s okay.” Levi crossed his arms and stared at me.

“If you are sure…”

“I am! Really!” I stood up and slung my bag over my shoulder. 

“Just be careful, brat. Try not to piss him off. Stay safe.” We went our separate ways and I crunched through the snow again on my way home. Dad was out thankfully when I arrived home, so I ran upstairs and plopped right into bed. 

Levi crossed my mind as soon as I relaxed into bed. His arms had felt unusually nice around me as I had cried earlier and I swear I could still smell his scent lingering on me. Why couldn’t I pull my eyes away from him? He way so…different from everyone else. His eyes were so sharp. So…stunning. Beautiful almost. The eyeliner around them just made them pop, and made him look so…no. I wasn’t like that. Was I? Shit. I groaned and shoved my pillow over my face. I had never really been attracted to anyone in general, so maybe this was the first time I was actually feeling any kind of attraction towards someone. I sighed and couldn’t get him out of my mind. I couldn’t let go of the feeling of his arms around me. He felt so warm to look so cold. 

Eventually I drifted off into a warm sleep, plagued by dreams riddled with a certain raven haired art major, and before I knew it, my alarm was screaming at me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren can't seem to adjust his bandage as well as Levi can. He meets with Levi and Hanji after class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;) Eren is falling for Levi fastttttttt <3

Whoever thought it was okay to make school start this early was an idiot. I groaned as I hit the button on my phone to make my alarm go off. I had actually gotten a peaceful night’s sleep for once, and I wasn’t happy that my alarm had shattered that peace. I also wasn’t happy that it was Friday. I wouldn’t have the excuse to go anywhere tomorrow, especially since Armin was still sick. Tutors usually didn’t give a damn on the weekends. I brought my wrist in front of my face and looked at the careful work Levi had put into wrapping the bandage around it. My cheeks felt hot and I had to push the thoughts away. NO! This wasn’t right. This wasn’t normal. I was frowning as I stared at the bandage.

I’d have to take it off so I could shower, and I was positive I wouldn’t even be able to wrap it half as well. I contemplated staying dirty for the day, but I knew that wouldn’t do. I sighed and threw myself out of bed, scrounging through my closet as I did so. I grabbed a random assortment, accompanied by a hoodie and went about my normal morning routine. Well it would have been normal, except I had to undo the wrapping. I shuddered as I pulled the velcro strip. My wrist was still purple and sore, but the swelling had went down significantly. I rushed through my shower and threw on everything except the hoodie and I stood staring at my tan stretchy enemy. I wrestled with it for the next 10 minutes, trying to get it just right, and finally, I gave up. I shoved it in my backpack, not even able to fasten it, without it unraveling on me. I ran down stairs to find my dad hadn’t left yet. I decided it was best to skip breakfast.

“Morning.” He just nodded over his cup of coffee and I ran out the door. I was actually running very early, and I would get to school before the doors were unlocked if I didn’t kill some time. No use stopping by Armin’s unless I wanted the flu. Mikasa was still at the house. I sighed and just kept walking in the direction of school. I paused at the art supply store. Maybe I could just kill some time inside by looking around and stay warm? I went in the door expecting to hear a warm hello and I heard silence. I turned to the cashier and 

I was greeted with a dark scowl.

“Oh….Eren it’s you?” 

“Levi?” He raised his eyebrow and took a sip of the energy drink sitting by his register. Obviously not a morning person either. 

“I got called in at the ass crack of dawn. Who buys art supplies this fucking early anyways?” He muttered. I walked towards the register and leaned against it.

“Not anyone that I know.” I reach out and grabbed a pack of gum and threw it on the counter. I had found a couple dollars in my pocket the other day, so why not. I grabbed my wallet and winced as I tried to pry it open. He narrowed his eyes as he stared at my hand.

“Why aren’t you wearing it?” He demanded, slinging the gum over the scanner. “1.06” I reach him the $2 and frowned.

“I couldn’t wrap it this morning, it kept falling off so I just got upset and shoved it in my backpack.” I heard the drawer of his register pop open and his annoyed voice shot over the loud speaker, paging someone that I didn’t know. 

“Don’t run off. I’m taking my lunch. I’ll fix it.” He threw my gum in the bag with the receipt. His manager came up from with a smile. 

“Yes?” 

“I know it’s a little early, but can I take my lunch?” she eyed Eren and gave me a nod. 

“Yulp! Just don’t go over your 30!” He punched out on the register and grabbed the slip that it spit out, along with his energy drink. 

“Come along brat. I’m guessing you have a few minutes to spare since you came in here before class?” I nodded and looked at my watch. 

“20 minutes before the doors even open…” We walked through a set of doubled doors into a lunch area set up with a long table and chairs. He plopped down in a chair and I sat   
down next to him. He looked at me with tired eyes. Eyes that hadn’t gotten enough sleep last night. 

“Why did you leave so early?” I was unzipping my backpack, digging for the bandage. 

“Dad hadn’t left yet…” I finally felt the elastic and pulled up on it. He held out his hand and I dropped it into it. His hands looked soft, which were odd for an artist’s hands. Why was I starting at his hands?! 

“Take off your jacket.” He said it low, and his voice was demanding. I felt my ears burning as I carefully lifted it over my head. His hands were on my arms and he was pushing the long sleeve up again of my shirt, making room for the bandage. “Why are you turning red brat?” What?! NO! 

“I-Ugh! It’s hot in here!” He smirked and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. 

“Are you sure you aren’t catching what your friend has? I’m freezing my ass off back here.” The smirk left his face as his stare fell to the marks on my wrist. And so did his   
fingers. His touch was a ghost as his fingertips gently slide along each maroon mark. I wanted to jump out of my skin. I didn’t know how to react. I was so un-used to anyone’s   
touch that I forgot what it was like. “Are there any new ones?” He asked quietly, before he began wrapping the bandage around carefully.

“No, he wasn’t home when I got there last night. And it’s usually only if I do something wrong. So if I’m good about keeping on his good side, I’m okay.” Levi stayed silent for a long while as he slowly, and tightly wrapped the bandage around my wrist. I felt myself regaining the much needed support and comfort from the wrap. He eventually secured the wrap in place with the velcro, but he didn’t immediately let go of my wrist.

“Don’t let him make you think that any of that is your fault, because it’s not. Got it.” He said as he looked up at me. I could see where he was coming from and I could see an ounce of anger in his eyes. 

“Yeah…Okay.” He released my hand and I stared at the floor. 

“It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.” He hissed as he picked up his drink and took a sip. “You’re his son.” I frowned and stared at my wrist. He’d done an impeccable job   
again.

“I know…and if I could change it I would. Maybe if mom wouldn’t have died things would have turned out differently.” I felt a wave of grief rush over me, but I had to swallow it and push it down deep. Levi sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. 

“Just…be careful kid.” He looked into my eyes and my heart throbbed. His eyes showed no emotion, but they were just as stunning as they were in my dreams. A piercing grey, that shined like silver when the light hit just right. He took one last sip and finished his drink off before pitching it in the trash. 

“I will…” He stared off into silence for a while, drawing circles onto the table with his painted fingernail. Wait. WHAT? “You painted your fingernails?” They were black to match his eyeliner of course.

“And you just now noticed?” He looked annoyed. “I spent at least five minutes wrapping your hand up, and you didn’t notice…wow kid. You really have a knack for paying attention to details.” I had been a little…preoccupied with the feeling of…NO. UGH! I just stared down at the floor. 

“Are you going to be at the studio today?” I didn’t look up as I asked the question. 

“I should be there around 3 or so. I get out of this place at 2:30. Lucky me.” I nodded and looked at my watch. 

“Okay. I’ll see you then.” I should really go. I didn’t want to make Levi late coming back from his lunch. 

“Hold it!” He grabbed the corner of my coat and I froze. “I’ve got 15 minutes left, and I know how close your school is. You’ll freeze if you stand outside. Am I really that hard to talk to?” His eyes were practically cold steel as they stared at me and I froze up. I didn’t know what to say. 

“I-I just don’t know what to say! Conversations aren’t good for me this early!” I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him that I wanted to be away from him so I could just clear my head and think….about him. About how I felt. About UGH. About everything in my life. 

“Come on then!” He pulled me up by my jacket and was dragging me through the store, I grabbed my backpack so I wouldn’t forget it. 

“Where are we going?!” We burst through the front door and outside into the cold air. I almost slid on the icy sidewalk, but he kept pulling me forward, all the way across the street, to a little vendor.

“Two hot chocolates please.” He ordered quickly and I stared in disbelief. Why was he being so nice to me? Levi handed over the money and soon, the warm cups were in our hands. We were walking back to the front of the store now, and he paused to look at me. “Why are you frowning like that? He has the best hot chocolate on this street.” 

“I just…don’t understand why you are being nice to me.” He frowned and looked up at me.

“Do I need a reason to be?” 

“Strangers just don’t act like that!” I spat out before I could process what my mouth was saying. We had not even known each other for a week. 

“You really don’t have a filter for that vomit you call language do you kid?” He took a sip of his hot chocolate and continued to stare at me with his icy gaze. “I think it’s because I see a piece of myself in you. Is that so bad?” I shook my head. “Now drop it. That’s enough sharing and caring to last me a month. I don’t do that crap.” I took a sip of my own hot chocolate and it really was delicious.

“Thanks by the way.” He nodded and lifted his own cup.

“I told you it was good.” He looked at his phone. “I need to get back now. I’ll see you at the studio later.” 

“See ya!” We parted ways and I couldn’t help but look back and catch a glimpse of the undercut that he wore so well. I sighed. I had a lot of thinking to do. 

 

English and Health passed on easily enough, and then came Math. We had a test, which I actually didn’t dread as usual. A few of the problems looked a little less unfamiliar so I gave it my best shot. I had quite a bit of free time after the test so I popped open my notebook and I was making a list for myself.

 

Things I know for sure I like:  
 ~~Girls~~  
Boobs  
His eyes (Levi)  
His hands (soft)  
His smell  
Lips too.  
Art  
His hair  
Painted nails   
Eyeliner  
His voice  
Hot chocolate  
Sweets

 

Things I’m unsure about:  
Girls  
Guys   
Levi (mysterious) 

Things I don’t like:  
Math

 

Shit. As I added all those things up from my list in my mind it became painfully clear I had a crush. But was it even an option. Was I…gay? I had never had a girlfriend, hell I’d never even been interested enough in a girl to make the first move. But Levi was drawing me in like a magnet I couldn’t refuse. I sighed and tore the piece of paper out of my notebook, crumpled it up and shoved it in my pocket. I couldn’t even talk to Armin if I wanted to. UGH. 

Classes ended and I was rushing to get to the studio. My home away from home. I could see his back to the wall of glass and comfort rushed over me. I sighed and scanned my ID. I shouldn’t be that excited to see anyone. This was ridiculous.

“Eren!” Hanji was sitting at the table. I secretly hoped we wouldn’t be doing math all day. “How was school?!” I shrugged and took a seat the table with her, pulling out my math book as I did so. 

“It was school. I had a math test today. I didn’t look as foreign I guess.” Levi leaned up against the table.

“I told you Hanji is good at what she does.” His black turtleneck was tight, and it was hugging every muscle. This was bad. “Are you sure you’re not sick Eren?” I nodded violently.

“Not that I know of! But who knows? I didn’t get a flu shot this y-year so…” Levi took a step back. 

“Hmmm…okay.” I heard him fiddling around in his supply box and he joined us at the table. “I’m taking another break from that fucking painting. If I don’t I’m going to burn it.” 

“Don’t talk about your work like that Levi! Especially something so new!” He shot her a glare and flipped to a clean page of his sketchbook. I heard him begin to draw and we began working on algebra. A ringing phone cut our attention away quite some time later and Hanji cut it off. “Times up Eren! I don’t think going over 90 minutes does much good. Go enjoy some art! You are doing great!” I collapsed on top of my book and felt something being pushed against my head.

“Oi, brat.” I looked up to see Levi staring at me. “Do you want this?”

“OH! EREN! Take it!!! It’s an original!” I look at the sketchbook being shoved against my head to see a picture of me leaning over my math book. It was already signed, he had finished a drawing that fast?! It was…PERFECT. WOW. 

“You drew me? Wow! It’s so-“ Hanji’s eyes grew wide and she clamped her hands over her mouth. “It’s awesome. Thanks.” She breathed a sigh of relief. I knew how much I hated someone to tell me my work was perfect. A small smile crept across his face and he took the notebook back. 

“Just let me spray it with fixative, and after it’s dry you can take it.” I saw him carefully tear it out and he carried it outside with a spray can. He brought it back in and laid it on the table. “Give it half an hour or so. Hanji! Stop smelling it!” I laughed as I watched them. Levi was standing there with his arms crossed, and it was an odd situation. He was trying to intimidate her, even though she was taller than him, but it was working. It had been a while since I could really laugh. I wish these moments would come up more often. I heard my phone buzz in my pocket and I fished it out. It was Mikasa.

**Mikasa: I know you are at tutoring (Or supposed to be) But he’s cracked open the Jack, so the sooner you get home, the safer you will be. Please hurry home ASAP! I’m just worried.**

I sent her a quick reply. 

**I haven’t done anything wrong! Nothing to set him off! I am doing tutoring today. I’ll be home around 730-8. See you then.**

I locked my phone and shoved it back into my pocket, trying to push the thoughts to the back of my mind. It was already 6. I needed some time to draw at least. I went over to my cabinet and pulled out my drawings from last time and all of the supplies I’d left there. 

“Eren, will you draw me like one or your French girls?!” Hanji said as she jumped up on the table.

“Hanji!” Levi scolded her but she began to pop the buttons of her shirt and I started to look away. I didn’t want to see that! Wait…ugh. “He’s underage!” 

“Oh right!” She jumped back off of the table and started buttoning them back up again. “Too bad, maybe next year Eren!” Another thing to cross off my list I guess…

“Sure.” I shrugged and started doodling mindlessly on the paper. I couldn’t get into the zone this evening. All of my thoughts were keeping me from going ‘full dive’ as Levi had called it. 

“Well I’m off then!” Hanji said as she began to gather her things. 

“Thanks for helping Hanji!” I said with a smile. 

“Any time kiddo! See you Monday!” That’s right. No tutoring on weekends. A whole two days of hell to myself.

“Yeah. See ya then….” I tried to not let myself seem so heartbroken but Levi gave me a frown as she waved and let the door close behind her.

“You look like your puppy just died.” He said as he sat beside me. His knee had brushed up against my leg by accident. The stools were so close in here! I tried to not let it get to me. But it did more than he knew. 

“I don’t have an excuse to get out of the house for the weekend. I’m trapped. He knows Armin’s still sick.” Levi was leaning on his hand looking up at me. His black nail polish was a big contrast against the paleness of the skin on his chin and it just made him look so…stunning. 

“Hmmm…and he wouldn’t believe you found another friend?”

“I’m not sure. He may be pissed. He may be happy. He so unpredictable.” He sighed and looked down at my doodles. 

“You don’t seem to be in the productive mood either. How about we grab some dinner?” I looked down at my doodles and sighed. He was right. He knew me better than most people already. But I was broke.

“I have 94 cents to my name…”

“I’ve got yours brat. As much as I hate it, we’ll eat in the damn cafeteria.” 

“I don’t want to be a pain-“

“Just shut up. If I wasn’t interested in paying for yours, I wouldn’t have invited you.” I just nodded and began packing my things away. I followed him through the winding hallways and up staircases and eventually we were in a dining hall. The smell of food drifted through the air and I looked around me. We were standing at a cash register. He reach her his ID. “Just put two on it.” She swiped it and handed it back.” He showed me around the cafeteria. “Just set you stuff down at a table and grab what you want.”   
I filled up my tray and started stuffing my face. This food was SO much better than the crap they served at my school. 

“You look like a pig. Slow down.” He reach me a napkin and stared at me. 

“But it’s good!”

“No it’s not. It’s cafeteria food. You’re just hungry.” He said with a smirk. He starting eating his salad and by the time he was done with it, I was going back for seconds. He was staring on the bowl of fruit he’d picked out. He was a neat eater for sure. I was digging into my pizza when my phone started buzzing again. I dug it out of my pocket to see Mikasa face flashing. 

“Hemmello?” I tried to swallow the mouth full of pizza but it wasn’t working out.

“Classy kid.” Levi said as he shoved a strawberry in his mouth.

“Eren! You need to come home! Dad’s been-THUD THUD THUD- He’s beating on my door! He’s been yelling at me too! He keeps asking where you are! I’m scared!” The pizza dropped to the plate in front of me. 

“I’ll be there in a minute!” I hung up.

“I-I’ve got to go. I’m sorry!” I grabbed my backpack and ran out of the cafeteria.

“Eren wait!” I didn’t look back. He was going to ask again. Ask if I wanted him to go with me. No. No I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want your beautiful face ruined like mine had been before. I wanted to scream it, but all I could do was run home to Mikasa.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren returns home. His friendship with Levi begins to develop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments= <3 :) Thanks guuuuys

“I’m home!”

“W-Where the F-fuck you been? Huh?” Ugh oh. This was bad. I dropped my back pack by the door and shrugged.

“I’ve been at tutoring. Then a friend invited me to dinner. Sorry if I was out too late. It’s only 7.” 

“I-I made dinner you dumb shit!” He stomped his foot. “And besides, the only friend you have is laid up in bed with the flu, so you’ve got to be lying!” I frowned and looked away.

“I’ve made a new friend.” I figured I’d risk my luck. “He’s nice. He helped me find that tutor.”

“The one that’s gonna c-cost me a fortune.” His eyes went down to the bandage on my hand. “What’s that? Did you go to the fucking HOSPITAL?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COSTS?!” OH SHIT! 

“NO! NO this is just-“ He grabbed my shirt and slung me into the kitchen, making me hit my back on the old wooden table. We may have gotten it at a yard sale, but damn was it sturdy. I winced as I felt my skin heat up. 

“Do you know how much hospitals cost?!” he was screaming now, but in a way, I was glad to be here. Glad that Mikasa was locked away safely in her room now that the familiar punching bag was home. 

“It’s NOT-!” Before I finished what I was saying his fist connected with my face. He’d NEVER. Not before. He’d never hit my FACE before. I tried to get up, but he pulled me back, once again gripping the poor wrist that seemed like it was never going to heal at this point. I cried out this time and yanked away, shoving him back. He stumbled and looked at me strangely before vomiting all over the kitchen floor. Which he then followed up with passing out next to. I had to get out. I HAD to leave. At least for a day. Tears were running down my face. I didn’t know where to go. I grabbed my backpack and hauled ass up the stairs. 

“Mikasa! Are you okay?!”

“Y-yeah. He didn’t get in. He said some pretty bad things, but I’m okay. What about you?” She was talking to me through the door, and I understood the fear of not wanting to open it.

“I’m…fine! I’m going to a friends for a few days. He’s passed out. I’ll leave a note. Things will calm down with me away.” Or I’ll go sleep on the studio sofa for a couple days. Either way, I’d be away from him. “If you need anything call!”

“Sure thing!” I ran into my bedroom and emptied out my backpack. Levi’s drawing spilled onto my bed and it took everything I had to not break down. I carefully placed it inside my drawer for safe keeping and left all of the books and things that didn’t matter on my bed and began shoving clothes inside, just enough for a few day, followed by my cell phone charger. I ran across the hall and grabbed my toothbrush. I wrote the note upstairs before I left.

 

Dad,  
New Friend invited me for the weekend. See you Sunday Evening. Eren. 

 

I placed it on the table and ran out the door. Tears were still running down my face. I didn’t even realize my phone was in my hand. I didn’t even realize my finger had pressed his number until it was too late. 

“Hello?” His voice sounded just as annoyed as it did on the line as it did in front of me.

“L-Levi…”

“Eren…What the fuck? Why did you run off like that? I had to clean up your damn mess…”

“S-sorry.” I hiccupped. I knew he’d heard it.

“Eren... What’s wrong….Did he hurt you again?!” He demanded on the other end and I was nodding but I knew he couldn’t see. I whimpered and my feet carried me towards the  
studio. The only place I knew I could go.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Where are you?” his voice was soft this time. Helpful almost.

“W-walking towards the ss-studio. I had to leave. He passed out. I left for the weekend. I don’t know where to go though.” I saw the familiar glass walls and as I got there, my backpack hit the glass and my knees buckled and I slid all the way down, tears began to flow freely. I was relying too heavily on a stranger that I hadn’t even known for that long. 

“Listen to me Eren. Go inside. Wait for me. I’ll be there soon.” 

“O-Okay.” I sniffled and I heard the line go dead. I picked myself up and went to scan myself in, then I realized, my ID was lying on my bed along with all of my books. “FUCK!” I slid back down the wall, pushing my hood over my head as I did and waited as the heavy snow fell around me. I heard crunching quite a while later and looked up to see a black clothed figure approach me. He knelt down in front of me and held out his hand. It was scared at first, then I realized it was Levi.

“Eren, why didn’t you wait inside?” he asked it softly, but I could tell he was annoyed. Something in his tone showed fear as he looked around us. 

“I dumped everything o-out on my bed. Wasn’t thinking. Had my pass in it.” I was freezing from sitting in the snow for so long.

“Shit. Come on get up.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. I expected him to scan his ID and let me into the building, but he put his arm on my shoulder and pulled me close to him, walking back in the direction he came from. His other hand was closely at his side. I felt uneasy. Something was wrong.

“W-where are we going?”

“To my apartment.” To his apartment?! What?! My mind was too hazy to disagree. I just wanted to be safe. Levi was the only one that showed a mild interest in my safety. It was only a 10 minute walk to his apartment. “It’s nothing impressive, so don’t be disappointed. It’s student housing.” I nodded and he unlocked the door to the apartment. It wasn’t huge, but it was roomy. It was industrial in every meaning. Definitely meant for an artist. There was exposed brick work, exposed duct work, high ceilings, high windows, and it looks like the light would be great during the day. The bottom consisted of a TV area with a couch and a couple of chairs, and a kitchen. The laundry was also down here. The upstairs had the bedroom and it was completely open. I could see the bed from down here. My guess is that the bathroom was up there as well. The color scheme was bright shade of green and white, and everything was in immaculate condition. It was sparking clean. 

“Home sweet home kid. Take the jacket off. Now. And sit.” I frowned and I drew it closer to me. The tone in his voice scared me a little, but I saw him run upstairs and run back down with a first aid kit. He huffed and threw the first aid kit down on the table. He came up behind me and slid the hoodie over my head. He threw it on the chair and had me sit on the couch. Everything was starting to ache now. He took his own jacket off and hung it by the door. He was still wearing his turtleneck from earlier. “Shit Eren…”He touched my face gently and I looked away as fresh tears began to well up. 

“He’s never…hit me in the face before.” Levi looked absolutely serious as he was dabbing something onto a cotton ball, working it onto my cheek. It stung and I tried to pull away. He put his hand on my shoulder to keep me still.

“Where else?” He asked after he applied a few band aids to my cheek. 

“My back hit the chair. And he gripped my wrist again…but I doubt there’s much more that can be done for it.” He grimaced and changed places with me. I felt him pull up the hem of my shirt and I blushed a deep crimson. Levi was looking at my back. I wasn’t ready for this. I felt the cotton ball dabbing me again, and more band aids. 

“Let me see your wrist.” I frowned as he began to unwind the wrapping. It felt odd to have it undone. “Well it looks like the bandage protected it a little, but…it’s swollen again.” He wrapped it tighter and I felt weak. “Stay there. I’ll get some ice packs.” He returned with three ice packs and a blanket. 

He sat on the edge of the couch and let me stretch out the rest of the way, resting my head on a throw pillow by his leg. He placed one pack under my back, one under my wrist, and the other he held on my face. Levi’s hand was on my face. Ughhhh. This wasn’t helping. I felt so tired. Today was wearing on me. The ice was slowly numbing the pain in my face.

“Here. Take this.” He reach me three red pills and a glass of water and I frowned. “It’s ibuprofen brat.” I took them and downed the water, resting my head back down afterwards.

“Thanks for everything. I didn’t have anywhere to go.” He stayed silent for a long time, and I could have sworn he dozed off.

“No problem. You are always welcome here.” He said that and it blew me away. After he had seemed so stand offish just a few days ago. My eyes felt heavy. I felt the blanket drape across me and I looked up just in time to see the ice pack go back. I was asleep before I even had time to have another thought.

 

Levi’s POV

The kid was asleep on my couch. He had called me out of nowhere, after I had cleaned up his mess in the dining hall, and I was about to bitch him out, and here he was, utterly exhausted. I was holding an icepack on his face so he could rest comfortably. I let out a sigh. Poor kid. He didn’t deserve any of this. He deserved a stable place he could call home. A family that wanted him. I knew the feeling. 

My hand was starting to go numb, so I took the ice pack away from his face. The others would just have to stay, because I wasn’t about to wake him. I stood and took it back to the freezer and popped it in. He’d probably need it again in the morning. I walked back in the living room and picked up his jacket off of the couch to hang it by the door with my own and trash fell out. Really brat? It was a crumpled piece of notebook paper. I went to stuff it back in the pocket, but something caught my eye. It was my name scrolled on the corner. It was just a piece of trash laying on my floor….right?

Wow…so that explained the red face and awkward glances the last few days. I smirked and threw the paper ball into the trash. Poor brat. I knew the same struggle he was going through. And to be suffering from abuse on top of it? I couldn’t imagine. I wanted to pull him into my arms even more now, but that may make things even worse. Maybe later, after things calmed down we could talk, but right now, things wouldn’t change between us. He needed something stable and safe in his life, and I was going to be the one to provide that. I grabbed a throw out of the closet and curled up beside of him on the couch. I didn’t want him to wake up alone in a place he didn’t recognize. I wrapped the blanket around me and fell asleep to the sounds of his peaceful breathing. 

 

Eren’s POV

Full blown panic hit as I awoke and realized I didn’t know where I was. The ceilings were high, and unfamiliar. My chest was tightening and I began looking around for a sign. And suddenly.

“Brat, you’re okay. I’m here.”

“Levi…” he lifted up from his spot next to me and stretched. He had slept next to me all night? Why?

“Don’t look so surprised, kid. I do have a heart after all. Hey, when do you guys get out for winter break?” Oh yeah…that’s right. I had tried to avoid the whole thought process of winter break. I avoided his gaze and looked away.

“We go three days next week and then we are out until after new years. December 24 through January 2.”

“So 10 days then?” Yes. 10 days. 10 unimaginable days trapped inside with HIM. I brought my knees up to my chest and nodded.

“Y-yeah….”

“I know it may be short notice, but we are going on a trip that just so happens to be the 23rd through the 2nd. It’s pretty much university funded. It’s like a gallery stop and shop thing. We go state to state and look at their galleries, but that would be completely up to you. We can bring a guest.” I’m pretty sure my heart was about to leap out of my chest. I wanted to hug him, but I didn’t know him that well.

“I! I! That sounds amazing! But….But my dad would never agree to it…” I huddled closer to myself and I felt Levi’s hand on my shoulder. No. No way dad would agree. Ever.

“I hear you doubting me Eren.” Levi said with a smirk. “I want you to come with me, and I usually get what I want.” He looked devious now. He had a plan, and I was almost terrified to find out what it was. Sun was shining through the window and into the small living room. It seemed like a comfy living room, and I would have definitely enjoyed my stay more, if I weren’t aching from head to toe. He frowned as I tried to sit up. The melted ice pack fell to the floor that had been on my wrist. 

“Ouch.” I leaned against the back of his sofa and looked around the unfamiliar room. 

“Just leave it to me. I’ll get you away from him for holiday break at least.” Levi said in a determined voice. He stood and began folding the blanket that was around him. He picked up the ice pack that had fallen to the floor. After more ibuprofen and a glass of water, he offered me some eggs and toast, which I gladly accepted. My face throbbed as I chewed, but I tried to push it to the back of my mind. After breakfast he settled back down on the couch. 

“Can I use your bathroom?” I asked as I ran my hands through my hair. I had to go since I woke up, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. 

“It’s upstairs. Keep it clean, brat.” I unzipped my backpack and pulled out my toothbrush and climbed up the stairs. Unsurprisingly, the bathroom was also spotless. I didn’t feel like the same person was staring back at me in the mirror. It nearly made fresh tears spring to my eyes as I saw the bruises he’d left on my face. I wanted to wash them away, but 

I knew they wouldn’t budge. After I finished my abbreviated morning routine, I went back downstairs to find Levi sitting in the same spot, but the TV was on. 

“Are you watching anime?” I asked as I plopped down beside him. 

“You’ve got a problem with it?” He said as he gave me an icy stare.

“NO! No! Really! I’m glad! My friends don’t like it. I like it and they tease me for watching it. So I guess it’s something else we share in common then?” He grinned at me and set the remote aside. 

“Have you watched this one?” He said as he leaned up against the back of the sofa and threw the blanket over himself again. The one thing about this apartment was that it did  
seem a little chilly. I pulled my own blanket over myself and stared at the screen.

“Who hasn’t seen Death Note? It’s a classic.” He smirked and nodded. We sat there for the rest of the day, just doing nothing but watching the rest of the series and enjoying each other’s company. He knew I didn’t feel like going to the studio. Hell, I didn’t even feel like going outside in general. I didn’t want people to see my face. I didn’t want people to see what my dad had done to me. 

 

Later in the day

“Getting hungry?” I was. It was nearly 8 and the eggs weren’t exactly that filling this morning.

“Yeah.” I looked up at him from the screen of my phone. I wanted to make sure Mikasa hadn’t texted me. 

“Well sorry to tell you this kid, but my refrigerator is pretty much empty now…All I had were those eggs this morning. Unless you want to eat instant ramen for dinner?” I contemplated it for a minute. Seriously contemplated it, but I knew it would never fly with him the way he’d said it.

“Don’t tell me you are actually considering it?!” I frowned and looked at the floor.

“I don’t want people to see my face like this.” Levi’s expression changed instantly and he scooted closer. I felt his fingers run across my cheek and I know he was staring at the bruises. 

“Eren…you can’t just hide away because of what he did, because that means he won.” I felt my face beginning to heat up with his hand there. Why did he make me feel like this? I nodded and our eyes locked. 

“B-but I still don’t want people to stare at me…” He sighed and I felt his hand drop down. It was almost a relief, but on the same token…I didn’t want the contact to be gone. Just a second later, he was tugging on my sleeve. 

“Come on. Get up. Follow me.” I was confused, but I followed him up the stairs and into the bathroom. He was digging through a drawer. “Kneel down.” My eyes went wide.

“W-What?” he looked annoyed for a moment.

“I said kneel down. If you haven’t noticed brat, you tower over me. I can’t reach your cheek very well can I?” I blushed but dropped to my knees in front of him. He pulled of the band aids he had applied to my cheek last night and wiped off the sticky residue. “Good thing you and Hanji match. In the summer at least.” He said with a snicker. He pulled out a bottle and a white sponge and began dabbing a liquid onto my cheek. It was really sore, and in my mind it should have hurt worse than it did, but he had a really gentle touch. 

Just the thought made me blush harder. “Oi, stop changing tones on me, or it’ll be hard to blend.” I looked down at the floor. I’m pretty sure I’m going to die right now. He frowned as he stared at my cheek bone. I knew it had been the worst area. He picked up his phone.

“Hey Hanji.” I was mortified. “Just a question. What the best thing to use as a concealer on a bruise.” Of course she knew. How could she NOT know? “Yeah, it’s like a dark purple. NO it’s not a hickey.” He began laughing and digging through the bag on the counter.” Okay so maybe she didn’t know it was me. I sighed and looked up at him. “Yeah, I found it.  
Thanks.” He hung up and stared at the tube in his hand. It looked like a tube of lipstick and I frowned. 

“Good thing she knew about this, because I completely forgot.” He said as he popped the lid off. I felt the thick makeup glide across my cheek and I drew back. It felt like the makeup Mikasa put on me at Halloween. He drug it across a few more times and began blending it together. He brought the powder out next. Covering up everything that he’d already put down. 

“Well, I’d say that is about the best I can do Eren.” He snapped it closed and threw everything back in the bag. He washed his hands and threw the bag under the counter. “Just make sure you wash it off when we get back, I don’t want the scratches getting infected.” I looked at my face. If you didn’t know the bruises were there, and didn’t know what to look for, you would never notice them.

“H-How did you-?” I was amazed.

“I do Hanji’s makeup a lot…and my own.” He pointed to his eyes, which he was now touching up the eyeliner on. “It’s just another form of art after all.” That was true. It looked great, but I couldn’t ask him to do this for me by the time Monday morning rolled around. 

“Thanks. It looks great.” I gave him the best smile I could manage and he nodded as he threw his eye liner in his own drawer. His own personal makeup collection was limited from the brief glace I got at it. Eyeliner, nail polish, skin care products. 

“Alright, Jaeger. Let’s go. I’m starving.” I followed him to the door and threw on my jacket. It was chilly as we stepped outside. He looked around us as if keeping an eye out for something. I got the same uneasy feeling as before. 

“Are we eating in the cafeteria again?” I asked as I stuck close to him. 

“Hanji wanted to meet for pizza…unless you want that trash they call food?” 

“No pizza is fine!” I was less than a two minute walk to the pizza shop in question and I was happy to warm up once we got inside. I was scared that Hanji was staring at my face. Scared that she was staring at the heavy makeup, at the bruises carefully hidden underneath.

“Eat up Eren!” She said as she shoved the basket of breadsticks towards me. I smiled and grabbed one. Levi was munching on his own as he stared at the pizza menu.

“If either of you order anything weird, I’m leaving.” 

“Don’t be the fun police Levi.” Hanji said as she pointed to pickeled pig’s feet on the menu. It made my stomach turn.

“How about just cheese?” I offered. 

“Sounds perfect. The kid knows what’s good. Look they even have a 3 cheese pizza. Hanji, you don’t get a say.”

“But I’m paying!” Levi frowned and closed his menu. 

“Fine. What do you want then?” I felt guilt wash over me. I did feel bad about other people paying for my food…

“Three cheese!” Levi put his face in his palm and the waiter came up to take our order. 

 

2 hours later

Eren’s POV

I hung my jacket by the door as Levi put the left over pizza in the fridge. Hanji had insisted that the ‘less fortunate’ take the leftovers. I thought Levi was going to strangle her, but once again, I was left laughing to the point of almost bursting into tears.

“Go wash your face Eren.” He said from the kitchen. 

“Actually…can I take a shower…” he looked up from the counter.

“Sure, I’m sure you saw where everything was. Towels are in the linen closet. Wash cloths as well. Everything goes in the hamper. Clean up after yourself.” I would clean up, but 

I’m sure he’d still be bleaching everything after I left.

“Thanks.” I dug through my backpack, and pulled out my pajama pants and a t-shirt. I had brought my toothbrush, which was still upstairs, but I’d failed to remember any other toiletry needs on the way out. “Shit.”

“What’s wrong?” He walked over to me and looked at the stuffed backpack.

“I forgot all of my shower stuff. Deodorant too…” He raised his eye brow and shrugged. 

“Feel free to use my stuff. There’s a new travel size deodorant in my top drawer in the vanity. I’d bought it for the trip, but I’ll just get a new one. Keep it.” He said as he walked over to the sofa and plopped back down. 

“I’ll pay you back.” I said as I stood up and walked over to the steps. 

“Like I care. It was a dollar.” He shrugged and turned the TV back on. Some boring reality show was on and his expression hadn’t changed. He didn’t seem interested at all as he flipped through the channels. I made my way up the stairs and into the bathroom. I grabbed a washcloth out of his linen closet and started the water in the shower, then I began stripping my clothes off. My body began to ache as I moved so much, especially my back. I twisted my arm and pulled off the band aids that Levi had applied to my back last night. Next to come off was the elastic wrap that had now become my friend. I pulled at the velcro and let it unravel and set it on the edge of the sink. I went about my shower quickly, not knowing whether or not his shower used the hot water up like ours did. Dad got pissed if I ran it out. I washed the makeup off of my face like he’s asked me to, making sure I scrubbed it well. I was the same old Eren again when I got out to dry off. The bruises were back. The scraped skin was back, and slightly bleeding from scrubbing so hard. I sighed and looked at the damage. I hadn’t seen it properly without the band aids. I jumped as I heard a knock on the door.

“Hey Jaeger! What’s taking forever?! I gotta piss!” 

“Be out in a minute!” I quickly finished drying off and threw on my clothes. I threw the dirty washcloth and wet towel in the hamper just as he had asked and opened the door. He was sitting on the bed now in his room, looking up at the ceiling. “Sorry.” He grinned and jumped up.

“It’s fine.” He shut the door behind him and I went downstairs to stuff my dirty clothes back in my bag. I heard footsteps behind me a few moments later as I was trying to zip it up. “Come here. You’re bleeding.” He had the first aid kit in his hands again, as well as my elastic bandage. “And you left this on the sink.” I frowned and followed him to the couch. I watched him as he squeezed the Neosporin onto the cotton ball this time. “You didn’t have to scrub that hard…” He used my leg to steady himself as he leaned forward and my heart stopped. He gently applied it to my cheek and I felt his gaze on me. He was smirking. Why could he see me in my weakest moments and it was okay? Why could he see my bruises? “But I’m glad it won’t get infected. I’d hate to see anything happen to that beautiful skin you have Eren.” My eyes got wide and I froze. I didn’t know how to reply.  
He leaned back and set the cotton ball aside. 

“Okay, wrist next.” I reach my arm out, and he began wrapping it as he always did, but this time he didn’t have to pull up my sleeve. It was just as tight as usual when he finally got it secured into place. “Why don’t you take my bed tonight, Eren?” he said as he let my wrist go.

“No, I can’t do that. You’re nice enough to let me stay here. I’ll sleep on the couch.” He frowned and our eyes met. 

“You’ve been through hell. Please. I don’t mind.” He was half insisting and half demanding. I was scared to say no. “O-Okay.” 

“Good. I already changed the sheets.” I didn’t deserve a friend like this. Not even Armin had showed this much interest in my well-being lately. We had drifted apart the last few months. I could tell he’d become interested in other things. Two ibuprofen later and I was in the loft upstairs getting ready to settle into Levi’s bed. It was big for student housing. It had to be a queen size bed. I heard the TV on downstairs still, and I saw him making up his own bed for the night. He had put out a couple pillows and the two blankets we had used throughout the day. 

“Go to sleep Eren.” He said as he looked up at me. “You need rest.” He was right, and I already felt sleep tugging me towards the bed. I pulled the covers back and sighed as the comfy bed wrapped around me. It was a little cold, but it soon heated up and I drifted off.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Eren get to go on the Art trip with Levi over winter break?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I've never been to the National Gallery, so I googled the exhibit and I really wanna go now :3 All of those artists are really there!!! (I'm an art major myself) Squeeeeee!! So much awesome in one place!
> 
> Enjoyyy <3

A few days later 

Dear Mr. Jaeger,

Eren Jaeger has been accepted to attend a trip during the holidays that he is strongly encouraged to attend. It is based through Trost University. We will be attending different gallery settings in different states. This will of course be completely funded by the University. We have included $50 to help with any toiletry expenses, ect. Please provide Eren Jaeger with all of the necessary things he will need. The trip runs from the 23rd of December and he will return home on January 2nd. Thank you for your cooperation in providing Eren with this cultural milestone in his life. 

Trost University

 

Eren’s POV

I got home that Monday and dad was waiting for me. Levi had told me his plan, and I had doubted that it would work, but it was worth a shot. He said if it had failed I could just run off that day. Yeah, right.

“Eren. Kitchen. Now.” I sat down at the table and tried to look as non-threatening as possible.

“Yes sir?”

“Did you want to go on this cultural trip?” he was waving the letter in front of my face. “It’s through Trost university. Have you heard about it? Galleries and stuff?”

“Yeah, a friend mentioned it. He’s going.”

“All expenses paid right? I don’t have to pay a dime?”

“No sir. Not a dime. You’ll actually save money cause I won’t be eating while I’m here for break.” He nodded and stuffed the letter in his pocket. 

“Fine. You can go.” I felt my heart fill up. No way! It actually worked!

“Thanks!” I was smiling ear to ear. I had to pack. The bus was leaving tomorrow morning and I only had this evening to pack. I also had to call Levi and let him know that it had worked. 

“Sure. Just don’t do anything stupid Eren. Don’t be a disgrace.” 

“Yes Sir!” I ran up the steps to my room and stopped at Mikasa’s room on the way. I knocked on her door.

“Come in.”

“Hey!” 

“What’s that smile about?” She was reading a book, sitting on her bed.

“I’m going away for winter break, so you should be golden with dad as well. He shouldn’t have any reason to get pissed off.” She smiled and jumped up. She hugged me tight.

“He’s letting you go?!” She was smiling.

“Yeah. So just not having me around here in general should be enough to put in him a good mood.” I could tell she was relieved. 

“I don’t mean to be happy Eren…I just.” 

“No! It’s fine. I understand. It’s not like we can see much of each other anyways.” I gave her another hug. “I’ve got to go pack. “I’ll text you all the details!” She nodded and I shut   
the door behind me. I never meant to cause any trouble for her. I knew somehow I was the cause of dad’s rage. If I wasn’t in the house…If I hadn’t been there at all, Mikasa would have a perfectly normal house to live in. 

I emptied my backpack out once again, and began packing all the clothes I could fit in. Underwear, socks, pants, shirts, pajamas. I definitely couldn’t fit 10 days’ worth inside. I sighed and went back across the hall. I knocked on her door again.

“Do you have any luggage?” 

“Yeah…but I’m not sure you want to use it.”

“I’m sorta stuck. I only have enough clothes in my backpack for two days.” 

“Well, then you are welcome to it!” She dug through her closet and pulled out a hot pink piece of luggage. I cringed at the thought. It was definitely big enough….but it was very pink. “Told you! Aunt Hillary bought it for me last Christmas.” I sighed and took the handle.

“Thanks.” I’d just have to sneak it past dad. I’d need Levi’s help for that. 

“Seriously?! You’re going to use it?!” 

“I don’t have a choice!” I rolled it over to my bedroom and began packing everything inside. I made sure my door was closed as I hovered my finger over his name and pressed call. 

“What’s up brat?” 

“He said I could go!”

“Well that’s surprising. And the $50?” 

“He kept it. Just like you said he would.” I heard him hiss on the other end. 

“Well at least you get to go. Are you packing as well?” I heard zipping on his end and I looked down at my fluorescent pink bag. 

“Yeah…about that. I need some help in the morning. Can you help me smuggle my bag out? Dad will still be here when I leave since it’s so early. He’s got this thing about embarrassing him…”

“Smuggle your bag out? Why?”

“I had to borrow Mikasa’s bag.”

“That’s your sister right?”

“Yeah. I only had my backpack. So nothing would fit.” I began scribbling down my list of last minute items to pack. “Anyways, I ended up with a hot pink suitcase.”

“So you want me to come to your house at 5:30 in the morning to smuggle out your hot pink suitcase?” He was snickering on the other side and I wanted to melt. 

“If you don’t mind…”

“Just give me the address Jaeger and I’ll be there with my accomplice. Well maybe not…she’s not the best at avoiding getting caught. I’ll come alone.” 

“Is Hanji coming on the trip?” 

“Yeah she’s coming.” 

“That’s good.” Another familiar face. I won’t feel like I have to depend on Levi for everything at least. 

“Well I’m going to finish cramming my shit in my bag, and drag my ass to bed. Get some sleep Eren. I’ll be there at 5:30. Text me your address and I’ll come up with a plan.”

“Okay. Sounds good!” I hung up and kept shoving things inside my suitcase. I went ahead and took my shower that night and packed all of my toiletries, minus everything I needed to get ready in the morning. I hit the bed and I had to admit…sleep didn’t come easy for me. 

 

The next morning

My alarm was yelling at me at 5AM. I jumped out of bed, checked my phone for any unread messages and threw on the clothes I was going to be wearing. I brushed my teeth, noting the slowly fading bruises on my cheek and hurried back to my room. Luckily my room was on the back side of the house, away from the kitchen where dad liked to have his cup of coffee in the morning. I tied a sheet around the handle of my luggage just as Levi had told me to do. I raised up my window and looked outside. The cold winter breeze blew in and I shivered. It was freezing today! He was leaned up against the side of the house, wearing all black as usual. I lowered the suitcase down using the bed sheet, and he took it into his arms with a grunt. He untied in and gave me a thumbs up. We were meeting around the corner in 5 minutes. I slung my backpack over my shoulder. 

I ran down the stairs and saw my dad sitting at the kitchen table as usual.

“I’m off! I’ll see you after the trip!” He gave me a nod and I shot out the door. I was free.

Levi was waiting for me at the stop sign with my hot pink suit case just where he said he’d be waiting. 

“Are you really going to pull this abomination around with you?” He asked as he looked at it. 

“I don’t have a choice.” I grabbed the handle and we began walking towards the University. “Thanks for your help.” 

“No problem brat. I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy myself knowing you were stuck here with him.” Just hearing those words made my heart ache. We finally got to the studio and Levi stepped in front of me to unlock the door with his ID and I caught a better look at what he was wearing. It made me grin. He looked fantastic. He had on a black shirt that hugged every muscle (as usual), black jeans, his long black coat, but today he was wearing a grey scarf. It was wrapped carefully around his neck and it made him appear…softer almost. It brought out the smokiness in his eyes and he just looked amazing. He also had on his boots, the ones with 2 or 3 inch heel. It didn’t make a difference to me, he was still shorter than I was. 

“Are you just going to keep staring or are you going to go inside?” My face went instantly red and I zoomed inside, barely noticing the smirk he set on his lips. 

“Eren! Levi!” Hanji was setting on the couch, surrounded by luggage and bags. 

“That’s a lot of stuff for a little guy!” Hanji said as she looked at me. I frowned and shrugged my backpack off. “Wow! That is VERY pink!”

“This is staying here.” I opened up my cabinet and shoved the backpack inside. Levi clipped a lock to the cabinet and we walked back to Hanji who looked more than ready to go, beside the fact that she was nearly buried. 

“Grab your stuff Levi! Let’s get a move on!” Hanji picked up her purse and I thought she was going to reach for the messenger bag on the sofa, but Levi slung it across him. He also grabbed the black suitcase and popped the handle up. “Such a stylish man-purse!”

“It’s a messenger bag!” he growled. 

“It doesn’t matter either way really.” She said with a wink. He let out and annoyed sound and I wrapped my hand around the handle of my own suitcase. Hanji’s luggage was red.   
We left the empty studio, and all you could hear as we walked to the bus was the sound of Hanji and Levi bickering over the ‘man-purse and the sound of rolling luggage.’ The sound of freedom. 

We put our luggage in the bottom part of the bus and boarded the cabin. I sat next to Levi and Hanji was on the other side. We all got folders as soon as we got on, and I began flipping through mine. My heart began to race. I can’t believe we’d be going to all of these galleries! DC for the first few days, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and then we would end up in New York City! 

“You look like a kid on Christmas, Eren.” Levi muttered as he looked over at me.

“I’m excited. I’ve never been able to do anything like this before. I’ve never been able to see art aside from the local stuff in our town.” 

“Well you are definitely in for a treat then.” His eyes were looking directly into mine, and I could have stared forever, had my concentration not have been broken by Hanji’s cackling. I looked over to see a tall man with blonde hair and striking blue eyes sitting in the window seat next to Hanji. 

“Tch…” Levi didn’t seem too impressed.

“No doubt he’s probably got Lysol in the bag!” I heard him say. Levi rolled his eyes. Did he know Levi that well? 

“That’s Erwin. Erwin Smith. He’s a Recreation Management major. He also is also getting an art minor.” Levi hissed. 

“And I have happened to know Levi since he was in middle school!” Erwin said with a smile.

“That too. We’re pretty good friends I guess.” He leaned back against his seat and crossed his arms. 

“So did you bring Lysol for the bus seats Levi?” Erwin asked with a grin. Hanji started laughing hysterically again. He sighed and put his hands over his face. He did have a hand sanitizer keychain on his bag. I frowned. Hopefully they would stop picking on him. 

“Just act like you don’t know them if you want.” He said as he turned away from them. I heard the door to the bus shut and we began moving. My stomach sank. We were actually leaving. I was actually free. Free for 10 whole days. I went quiet for a while, looking out the window as we passed by the university.

“You okay Eren?” 

“Yeah…it just doesn’t seem real. I didn’t think I could escape that hell. Then I met you.” I turned to him and smiled. He blinked for a second and scratched his face. 

“Well…I-ugh anyone would have done the same thing.” 

“Thanks for your help, Levi.” 

“Sure thing brat.” 

An hour or so into the trip, I was feeling my eyes getting sleepy. We were sharing his ipod, and I pretty much loved every song he played. How could we get along so damn well? Of course I knew he’d probably throw away the earbuds and buy new ones, or mark which was which, but that wasn’t the point. I felt a weight against my shoulder and looked over to see Levi slouched against me, breathing deep. My face went red. So cute. He had the earbud in his ear still, and he looked so peaceful. I wanted to take him into my arms and just…I sighed. I had already come to terms with the fact that I liked Levi as more than just a friend. I wasn’t in denial anymore, but I would never tell him that. Never in a million years. I would never do a single thing to damage our relationship like that. Not when we had something that was working so well already. 

My own eyes were unbearably heavy now, and with the weight and warmth of Levi against my side, I just couldn’t keep them open any longer. I let sleep take me, but right before I feel into that deepest level of sleep, I heard the click of a camera, but surely it was my imagination.

“We are there! Wake up!!!” I heard a groan and felt a jerk against me. I jumped and looked around. Hanji was staring at us.

“We are at the National Gallery! Wake up!” I looked over at Levi. He had some serious bed head. So hot. His eyeliner still somehow managed to look perfect though. He wasn’t laying on me anymore, and my shoulder felt cold and empty now. He stretched and opened his bag, pulling out a comb. He carefully fixed his hair, using his phone as a mirror. Maybe he was a little more than OCD. 

After we were finally awake, we were allowed to go inside and explore the gallery to our hearts content. I had seen some of the pictures before and I had heard of the famous artists, but I had NEVER seen art like this. It was so real! So vivid. I was there! I wanted to touch, but that was obviously not allowed. To think I was in the same room with works by Rembrant, Matisse, Van Gogh, and Monet. I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the beauty, by the workmanship, by the hordes of people. I had to sit. Levi ushered me to a bench in the center of the room. I felt his hand on my back.

“Too much to take in a once?” I nodded and put my face in my hands. Hanji and Erwin walked over to us. 

“What’s wrong with Eren?” She knelt down in front of me and I flinched away.

“Give him some space, Hanji. He’s never been to a big gallery before. The most he’s ever seen is the local gallery.” She backed up and she and Erwin both sat down on the long bench beside us. His hand didn’t move. It made me feel safe. Like I wasn’t crushing from the weight and expectations from the room. 

“Why don’t you take him to the Modern Print Exhibition Levi? There’s bound to be less people there.” I looked up from my hands and saw Levi ponder for a moment.

“Yeah, I think you are right. Come on, Eren. Let’s go.” He tugged on my hoodie and I stood. We walked through the crowd and followed the signs to the Print Exhibition. It was on the ground floor. Just like Hanji had suggested, there was room to move. Room to breathe. There were a few people, but nothing compared to the lines upstairs. 

“Oh look Eren, it’s a de Kooning.” Levi said as he pulled me to the left. I smiled. The artwork was beautiful. I felt at peace here. Like a part of me had suddenly been filled that I didn’t know was empty. 

Eventually, towards the end of the day, I finally worked up the courage to go back to the main room with all of the classics in in. By this time, it was nearly closing time and a lot of the people had cleared out. A new tranquility washed over me as I looked this time. I saw the colors and the brush strokes. I looked at the movement. Levi had taught me to look past the subject of the painting, and to look just a little closer. 

We drug our tired feet back to the bus and it took us to a mediocre Italian restaurant that the university paid for. Everyone got the same meal, and we didn’t even have the option of ordering anything differently unless we wanted to pay for our own. Spaghetti and meatballs, breadsticks, and water. 

“Most of our meals will probably be like this.” Levi said as he examined his food. “That’s how these trips usually are. But it’s worth it.” I dug into mine. It was actually really good! He rolled his eyes at me as I slurped my pasta. “Not like you seem to mind of course.” It took him twice as long to eat as everyone else, seeing that he didn’t want to spill a single drop of tomato sauce on himself. 

We arrived at our hotel for the night, stood in the lobby. The art professor was sitting at a table, making room arrangements. “Okay, room 403, Levi, Eren, Hanji, Erwin.” Hanji grabbed our key and ran over to us. 

“Yay! Roomies!” I leaned on my hot pink suitcase. Today was beginning to wear on me, how could she have so much energy? Wait? A girl was in our room? How was that going to work? We began walking towards the elevator as the doors to the elevator shut, Levi spoke.

“I know what you are thinking, Eren, but this isn’t your average high school art trip. If a girl and a guy get along well enough to room together, they get put in the same group. Welcome to college.” I felt a blush work across my cheeks as I wheeled my bag down the hallway.

“Don’t worry Eren! I won’t take advantage of you!” Levi shot her a glare as she slid the key card into the door. It wasn’t the best room, but at least it wasn’t a roach motel. Levi sped past us and into the bathroom. “And he’s off!” I watched as he examined the tub/shower combo and the sink. “What’s the verdict?”

“Not awful…I’m still spraying it down though.” He said as he unzipped his suitcase and pulled out a can of scrubbing bubbles and disinfectant. My mouth fell open. He went to work spraying the tub, toilet and sink down.

“He’s…cleaning?” Hanji shrugged and pushed me towards him.

“Eren, I’d like you to meet Mr. Clean. He enjoys long walks on the beach, scrubbing showers, and removing spaghetti stains from white shirts.” 

“Do not!” Levi yelled as he began rinsing the tub. “You should thank me. One day I’ll save your ass from catching a disease from one of these grimy ass hotels!” He slammed the   
can down on the sink and frowned.

“I appreciate it Levi!” I yelled out with a blush before I could stop myself. God…what was I thinking?! 

“See! Eren is glad he’s not catching AIDS from the shower! Speaking of which, I want one first! I feel gross.” He pushed past us, and went rummaging through his suitcase, grabbing clothes and other toiletries as he went. “Eren, don’t get in that bed until you’ve showered. God knows what you sat in on that bus.” And with that he shut the door, leaving me staring oddly at Hanji. 

“Huh?”

“He doesn’t want you gunking up the sheets, even though he’ll probably change them anyways. Right Erwin?!”

“Yulp!” Erwin was setting on their bed and Hanji joined him. It made me think twice about hotels now. “That’s Levi for you. If you didn’t know all about him, then you’ll definitely know about him now. The good and the bad.” I sat down in the chair in the corner of the room. 

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing he’s clean.” I offered as I leaned back and got comfy. Erwin chuckled.

“I didn’t either at first, but sometimes it borders obsessive compulsive. It’ll take some getting used to.” I frowned and glanced at the TV. They didn’t seem to be watching anything in particular. They didn’t really seem to be all over each other either.

“So are you guys…together?”

“What? No. Just good friends. We’ve been friends since freshman year. We all took art 101 together and kind of clicked.” Erwin said. I heard the bathroom door open and Levi came out, towel drying his hair. I swallowed hard. 

“Next.” I jumped up. I was beyond ready for bed, and seeing that I wouldn’t be allowed to sleep until I showered I’d better get on that. I grabbed my own clothes and shower bag and headed inside. The bathroom still smelled like Levi’s soap. I shut the door and started my own shower. I tried to be quick this time. I was a little embarrassed to carry my elastic bandage out to Levi, but I did it anyways. He was always better at it. I had had Mikasa put it on a couple of times at home, but it wasn’t the same. 

He was putting a pair of green sheets on the bed when I came out of the bathroom. He really did bring his own. He had just finished up the fitted sheet and he was draping the loose sheet over top of it. He eyed the bandage in my hand and his motions came to a standstill. He paused everything he was doing to walk over to me. 

“How’s it feeling?” He looked over my wrist. The purple was finally fading, and the soreness was beginning to go. 

“A lot better actually.” He ran his hand over my wrist and I winced. It was still a little tender, but nothing compared to what it had been. 

“A couple more days, and you should be able to ditch the bandage.” He said and he took it from my hand and began wrapping it. I saw Hanji and Erwin watching us and I looked away. I didn’t want them to ask questions. I didn’t need reminders of why I ran. I just wanted to be at peace for this trip. Levi looked over his shoulder and they turned their eyes away from us, but his wrapping unraveled. “Shit. Let’s go in here.” He led me into the bathroom and began wrapping it again. “Don’t feel pressured to tell them anything.” He whispered. “It’s none of their business.” I nodded and whimpered as he accidentally brushed over an unusually sore spot on my wrist. “Just enjoy the trip.” He fastened the bandage and my wrist felt secure again. “Now, let’s get some sleep. I’m fucking exhausted.” I followed him back into the bedroom area and we finished putting the blankets back on the bed over the clean sheets. 

I climbed into bed and let out a content sigh as clean sheets wrapped around me. Levi was sitting on the edge of the bed. Then it hit me. Holy shit! I was going to be sharing a bed with Levi! And this was just a double bed. It was tiny compared to his bed. He plugged his phone in next to mine on the table and set his alarm. Then, he climbed under the covers next to me and I felt the heat begin to radiate off of him. This wasn’t happening. No way. My eyes were shut tight. Maybe if I imagine he’s not there it won’t be so hard…

“Night Eren.” Shit.

“Night Levi.” I popped my eyes open to see grey staring back at me. He was close. Really close. Until he turned over and his back was to me. Phew. That was close. No way I’d be able to sleep like that. I could still feel the heat coming off in waves off his body, and somehow it was enough to calm my nerves, because it lulled me to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and the group get to experience New Year's eve in NYC! The final day of their trip!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, so this is my FAVORITE chapter <3 I'm in love with it. It's related to three songs, which I highly recommend!! Go have a listen to them first and you'll get a really good feel for the chapter. Or listen to them during! I'll put them in the order they play! <3 
> 
> Worlds Apart-Seven Lions feat. Kerli https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULqdjtDI-bs 
> 
> Strangers-Seven Lions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk-SrePDxfQ
> 
> Spectrum-Zedd https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEp9MCQlAa4
> 
> Spectrum has the piece of the song that this fic was named after. <3 :)

A few days later

Eren’s POV

We had eventually ended up in New York City on the 30th. Once again I had been overwhelmed by all of the wonderful artists at the Metropolitan Museum of Art yesterday, and today was the same story and the Museum of Modern Art. It was, sadly the last museum on our list. We were given free roam of the city for the rest of the day and the night, and Hanji, Erwin and Levi had all decided I needed to experience a rave. I had heard about them, and seen pictures, but I had never been to one. Especially on the number one party night of the year, New Year’s Eve.

It was around 10pm and we were in our hotel room, trying to decide what to wear. I sorted through my hot pink suitcase and Levi stood over my shoulder. Hanji had disappeared with Erwin at some point and we were scared to ask where she they went. 

“All of your clothes are boring.” He said with a yawn.

“And all of yours are black.” I shot back.

“Are not! You haven’t seen all of my clothes. I brought something just for this occasion.” He said as the corners of his mouth turned up. We heard our door click open and Hanji and Erwin came in, carrying shopping bags.

“I come barring gifts!” Hanji said as she poured the contents of the bag onto her bed. “This.” She held up a lime green t-shit. “Is for you Eren! Happy first rave! He’s growing up so fast!” 

“That’s assuming we can get him in.” Levi said as he leaned against the wall. I took the shirt and held it up to my chest. It was the prefect size. 

“And I also bought glow sticks for everyone! Woot!” Levi smirked and looked at the stash. She had bought a 100 pack of glow sticks.

“Well, I’m going to get dressed.” Levi started rummaging through his case again and disappeared into the bathroom. Hanji made me pull off my shirt in front of her and put the new one on and she started putting glow sticks on me. She made me a glow stick necklace, a belt, and of course put three bracelets on each hand. I heard the bathroom door open and Levi came out. I almost let out a gasp. Almost. He was making this really fucking hard.

He was wearing black skinny jeans that had buckles all up the sides, a lime green tank top, and a black fish net shirt. His eyeliner was extra thick also. 

“Look at you Levi! I could eat you up!” Hanji giggled. She ran into the bathroom to get dressed herself and we turned away to let Erwin dress in the corner (which consisted of him throwing on an electric blue t-shirt.) I helped Levi ‘glow stick up’ as Hanji had called it, but he insisted on being done only in green. He slipped on his boots. Hanji wasn’t the only one that could eat him up. Once we were all glowing and ready to go, we walked to the place that was throwing the rave. It was freezing, but they insisted that we leave our coats at the hotel. Somehow I’d managed to get inside. (Probably by Hanji flashing the door man some prime territory.) Bass was blasting through the building and lights were flashing as soon as we entered. Everyone was crowded together dancing. Crowds really weren’t my thing. I felt a little uneasy, but I followed Levi.

It was past 11 by now, and the night was quickly flying by. Just an hour left until the New Year. An hour left until everyone in here would be lip locked and panting. That made me feel uneasy just thinking about it. I felt a hand clasp around my wrist and grey eyes were looking into mine. He mouthed my name and I just nodded. I couldn’t hear his words over the music. 

_And if you're sitting right here,_  
 _Then why are we worlds apart?_

He pulled me to an area away from everyone else and I’d noticed that even Hanji and Erwin had disappeared into the crowd. His hand was still on my wrist. He leaned forward to talk over the music. 

“Relax. Let the music take you.” I felt the bass go through my legs and I trembled and I felt him move my arm and start to sway. We were…dancing?

_Why are we worlds apart?_  
 _If you're so near,_  
 _Why do you feel this far?_  
 _Why are we worlds apart?_

His movements were so…perfect. I was so terrified, but I tried to relax. I knew I was no good. I looked like a robot compared to his fluid movements. I knew that nothing I did would be any good compared to his dancing, but I was trying. I was moving along with his body and I let the beat fuel my rhythm. And suddenly…he was smiling. He was staring into my eyes and smiling at me. His hand drifted from my wrist down to my hand and our fingers locked. No. No this wasn’t real. The atmosphere in the room was just unreal. One hand was latched onto mine, encouraging me to dance with him, while the other moved along with the music. Occasionally drifting up to his hair. It was driving me wild. I was feeling a hunger that I’d never felt before. I couldn’t explain it. My heart was soaring as I watched him. 

_We're not that different, you know._  
 _I play among the stars and then fall so low_  
 _I try to make sense as I go_  
 _'Cause nothing, 'cause nothing, 'cause nothing is in your soul_

_Why are we worlds apart?_

“Eren?” The beat was getting faster and I was trying to keep up. Trying to keep up with my beating heart. With my emotions. With my hunger. ‘The Ball’ was pulled up on the big TV screen. It had a clock underneath it. 15 minutes. My stomach sank. The DJ dropped it right down into the next song. I wasn’t paying attention to the growing crowd in the room. I was just gripping his hand tighter. 

_Nothing more than strangers_  
 _Passing by out on the street_

I’ve hear this song before. I knew this song. I knew the lyrics well. I knew the beat. It fueled my movements further and I looked up. Levi was lost in the music, but not so lost that he didn’t meet my gaze. He took a step closer, and I didn’t budge. I wouldn’t force myself away from him. 

_Don't want to be a stranger_  
 _Want to be the one you need_  
 _I can be your world, your life_  
 _Your lover, all for free_

We were moving in slow motion from the strobe lights, or maybe it was from the beat of my heart. I couldn’t tell. It could have been from the proximity of his body next to mine. I could feel the heat coming off of him. I was squeezing his hand hard now, I knew he could feel me trembling. He put his lips to my ear. “Eren…I found that note on my floor. That crumpled ball you’d left in your pocket.” I’m pretty sure I crushed his hand, but he continued to dance so close with me that I thought the heat was enough the melt me. “How about a New Year’s Kiss?” My stomach was flipping. I’d never even been kissed before. What if I was bad? I was terrified. His other hand wrapped around my waist and he pulled back to stare into my eyes. I felt myself nod as I was swallowed by a sea of warm grey and as soon as I did the clock hit 12 and the crowd started cheering. The music didn’t stop for a second. 

_And without you I can't be_  
 _You're the universe to me_  
 _You're the air in my lungs_  
 _You're the fields where I run_  
 _You're the sky where I'm floating_

I closed my eyes and worlds started to spin. I felt soft lips on mine. I felt his warm hand on my back, and suddenly the hand that was wrapped up in my fingers pried away and wrapped in my hair. I felt his tongue ask for entrance as it licked along my bottom lip and even though my knees threatened to give out, I gave it. I just stood there and kissed back as best as my instincts lead me. I put my heart into it, and hopefully he could tell. Our tongues danced together, much like we had danced together just moments before, and I could still feel our bodies swaying to the music. As we pulled apart I opened my eyes to see grey staring back into mine. I felt a gut wrenching feeling. What was this feeling? He was so close. I could feel his breath on my lips. He placed another kiss on my lips and smiled at me. 

“Happy New Year Eren.” I didn’t want him to let go of me. I wanted to be a part of his touch forever. I couldn’t form words. All I could do was nod. His hair was still messy from dancing. He looked wonderful, and I couldn’t help but notice the tinge of pink across his cheeks. I was frozen in place. My thoughts were spiraling out of control. I just need to think. He was so close. Crushingly close. 

“I-I-I umm” I was still trembling. When was the last time my heart beat like this? I couldn’t even form a damn sentence, let alone budge from the spot where I was standing. He pulled back, giving me some space, but his arm was still around my waist. Still so close. People could still see. 

“Eren? Are you alright?” He was looking concerned now. I just nodded, although the room was beginning to spin a bit. I felt him tug on my hand as the bass began to rock through me again. He pulled me through the crowd out into a stairwell and spotted what he was looking for. He let go of my hand and started feeding money into the vending machine and handed me a water. I could breathe. There wasn’t anyone out here. Just us. I took a deep breath and took a big drink of water and leaned back against the staircase. He cracked the lid on his own bottle. His breathing had already returned to normal, unlike mine. He had me sit on the stairs and he took a seat beside me.

“Feeling better?” 

“Yeah…just a lot of people in there.” I took another drink and screwed the lid on my bottle. He gave me a kind smile and took another sip. 

“I don’t really like dancing in the main crowd myself. That’s why I took us over to the side. You looked like you were starting to panic a little…but I’m guessing that was more of my fault than anything. Sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“No! No. Really. I’m glad. I was just surprised!” The water bottle was crinkling under my hand as I spoke. I was terrified. My heart was racing. My crush had just kissed me and he was pretty much apologizing for it. I should be the one apologizing. “I’m sorry if I wasn’t very good…it was my first.” I’m sure my face was a deep shade of crimson now. Who knew if it’d ever go back to it’s regular shade. Levi raised his eyebrow.

“That was your first kiss? Wow...” He had an odd look in his eyes as he leaned against the railing. “Well, I hope I made it memorable for you.” He said with a smirk. “Something you can brag to your friends about.” I put my face in my hands. I hadn’t exactly told Armin or anyone else for that matter anything what I’d discovered about myself recently. I just wanted to scream. Everything was so confusing! Levi picked up on it immediately. 

“Having second thoughts there Romeo?” I lifted my face up out of my hands and looked at him.

“No…I just…it’s just new. I don’t know anything. It’s so hard.” I wasn’t forming coherent words. He smirked and put his arm around my shoulder. I looked over into those warm grey eyes that were lined so perfectly with smoky black. The eyeliner that drove me crazy. 

“It’s never easy at first. Hell, it just gets harder from here on out…if you want to pursue it that is.” Why was he talking in riddles? I opened my bottle again and took a drink. 

“Pursue what? What are you talking about?” He narrowed his eyes and sighed. He sat his water bottle aside and suddenly became interested in picking at a loose tread in his shirt.

“I’m just going to assume that you really are confused, and not actually trying to hurt me. A relationship with me. It’s a yes or no answer. If it’s no, then no hard feelings. Things won’t be weird for long, we’ll go back to the way things were and we’ll stay friends. I promise. It’s not an all or nothing thing.” My heart was beating out of my chest. His expression stayed stoic as he waited for my answer, but his eyes were lighting up. I didn’t even know what it meant to be in a relationship with someone. I was the definition of inexperience. What if I messed up? What if I did something wrong? He’d have to teach me every little thing. Surely he’d get tired of that. I felt his hand touch mine. “Eren. Stop panicking. It’s me. I’m not going to rush you into something you don’t want if that’s what you are thinking…”

“No! I just…I’ve never even dated anyone before. I don’t want to mess up.” Levi gave my hand a squeeze and tilted his hand.

“No one’s perfect, but if that’s all you are worried about, I’m more than happy to teach you. I’m not the best in relationships either, seeing that the only ones I’ve been in have failed, but I have a good feeling about you.” His hand felt so nice on mine. My stomach kept doing summersaults and I just wanted it to settle down. 

“W-Well if you’ll be patient with me, then okay. We can be together.” I had my eyes closed as I said it. I couldn’t bare to look at his face. I already felt like I was going to melt from the embarrassment.

“Eren. Look at me.” I opened my eyes to look up into stunning grey. I was so close to him that I could see the different values of grey streaked throughout his iris. There was even a slight hint of blue. His arm had already moved down from my shoulders to hook around my waist. “So that’s a yes?” Yes. Yes it was possible to get a shade redder. I swallowed hard and tried to breathe.

“Yes.” He smiled and leaned forward, closing the little bit of space between us. Once again the room was spinning. My chest was throbbing, my palms were sweating. He didn’t let go of my hand this time, however, and I was thankful. I needed that anchor. I was scared. Scared of so many things. I knew I’d have to break down a lot of walls and open up to him and that was going to be hard. He already knew so much, and giving every little piece of yourself to someone like that is so risky. Our tongues were moving again, and he was exploring every part of my mouth, our knees were touching and it was almost too much for me to handle at once. I couldn’t compare his taste to anything else I’d ever experienced. When we finally pulled apart, I was breathless. My hand was still locked to his and I had no intentions of letting go just yet. I needed that support. 

“Do you want to go dance for a while longer?” he pulled back to look into my eyes. I nodded and downed the rest of my water. 

“If you are up for it.” He smirked and finished off his bottle as well, throwing it into the trash beside the staircase. 

“I could go all night.” He pulled me to my feet and steadied myself. My legs felt like jello. “You sure you are alright, Jaeger?” He raised a questioning eyebrow. 

“Yeah. I’m just nervous.”

“Like I said before, it’s just me. I’m the same Levi as before, except you can do all the dirty things you’ve been imagining to me now.”

“Levi!” I was sure I was turning red all the way down to my toes now. 

“And you can even say my name like that while we do them!” he said with a smile. He had changed so abruptly. I had rarely seen him smile at all, until we started dancing tonight, then he was smiling off and on quite a few times tonight. It was beautiful. He pulled me forward and made me stumble against him and he took the opportunity to wrap both of his arms around my waist. This was moving too fast. “Relax brat. I’m just teasing you. Your heart is going to fucking jump out of your chest if you don’t calm down.”

“It’s your fault!” I snapped. I leaned my head down on his shoulder. The same arms that had held me during my breakdown a few weeks ago were back around me now, in a way I had never imagined. I heard him chuckle and he pulled away from me. I had to admit, being in his arms did feel nice.

“Let’s go kid.” I urged my quaking legs to move as he pulled me by my hand back through the crowd. The bass was thumping hard as we walked across the dance floor.

 

_Breathing you in when I want you out_  
 _Finding our truth in a hope of doubt_  
 _Lying inside our quiet drama_

My heart thumped as I thought I caught a brief glance of Hanji and Erwin and my eyes went to the floor. What if they’d seen us holding hands? Could someone blush purple? I’m pretty sure I was blushing purple. Before I could finish the thought, my face crashed into something solid and liquid went everywhere.

“HEY YOU FUCKING KID!” I looked up to see a guy staring at me with angry eyes, I’d bumped into him and spilled his drink all over him. Oh Shit. Not Good. Levi had been separated from me in the commotion as well. I was fucked.

“I’m sorry! I-“

“You’ll be sorry!” he was on me on he had his hand on my shirt.

“HEY!” Levi pulled the guys hand off my shirt. His voice sounded like poison. “What’s your fucking problem, huh?! It was an accident!” He literally towered over Levi, by at least 18 inches, but he didn’t look intimidated. Levi had an element that looked dangerous. “The kid apologized!” 

“He needs to watch where the fuck he’s going!” Levi clenched his jaw and dug his wallet out of his pants and threw a $5 at the guy.

“Here! Go buy a new drink and leave us the hell alone!” Levi grabbed my arm and began tugging me back over to the spot we were before, with less people. 

“You better watch out kid, that faggot won’t always be there to protect you!” Levi froze for a moment, causing me to run into his back, but he suddenly started walking again. We’d finally made it back to our spot in one piece, and luckily none of the beer had spilled on me. 

_Wearing your heart like a stolen dream_  
 _Opening skies with your broken keys_  
 _No one can blind us any longer_

“Still feel like dancing?” he asked with a half-smile. I nodded and we stayed separated as we danced for a while. There was some fast paced music on that I absolutely couldn’t keep up with, and I just gave Levi a sad look. Eventually it slowed down to a manageable beat and I tried to get my bearings again. He kept up just fine, and moved closer to me, and eventually he grabbed my hand. The bass was so loud it was shaking the walls. They had switched on some green lights now, making everything flash vibrantly. Levi got closer yet. I glanced over to the main crowd, to the man I had bumped into and that word flashed back into my head. I swallowed hard. I felt Levi’s breath on my ear. “Don’t worry about those idiots. From here on out you are safe. I won’t let anyone lay a fucking finger on you if I can help it. Got it?” My knees felt weak again and I felt myself nod and he smiled again. He was pressed right up against me, like he’d been in the stairwell. He really did care. It was almost heart wrenching to learn that someone cared about my well-being so much. 

_We'll run where lights won't chase us_  
 _Hide where love can save us_  
 _I will never let you go_

I was looking down at him, at his perfection as we moved together. He made me sure of myself. With his body up against mine like that, I could be sure. How could my movements not be perfect when he was guiding me? I’m sure the music was flowing right through me anyways. The muscles in my legs were burning from trying to keep up with the fast song earlier. One hand was buried between my shoulder blades and the other was laced together with my fingers. His head would move back and forth. One moment his cheek would be against mine, the next he’d be back a little further, looking at my face. I didn’t ever want to leave this moment, but suddenly his eyes jerked down. He let go of my hand and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He ran his finger over it and put it up to his ear. I couldn’t really hear what he was saying, but his expression said it all. We had to go. 

“Hanji’s sick.” He said as he pulled away from me. “And she’s the one that told me not to drink too much!” The look of annoyance was all over his face as he shoved the phone back in his pocket. He let go of my hand and I followed him closely, watching exactly where I was going this time. We found Hanji and Erwin outside the main entrance, and right on cue Hanji threw up on the sidewalk and Erwin held her hair. 

“Gross. How much did she have to drink, Erwin?” Levi asked as he looked away.

“She had one drink actually. I think it may have been something in the food.” 

“Food poisoning? Seriously. Well I wouldn’t have ordered anything from there.” Levi said as he crossed his arms. It was freezing now. Snow was falling around us, quickly collecting in clumps. “Well either way, we need to get back to the hotel.”

Erwin looped his arm around Hanji and we began walking, and once again, Levi was looking around cautiously. I made a mental note to ask him about that once we got back home. Hanji threw up a couple more times before eventually passing out for good. I was so exhausted that I just wanted to sleep as well, but Levi insisted that we both shower first. I didn’t really want to wash his scent off of me to be honest, but I showered to make him happy. It was 4 AM by the time we finally turned the covers back to get ready to sleep.

“What time do we need to be downstairs to meet the bus?” I groaned as I stretched out my tired body. Levi was plugging in both of our phones and he was looking over the schedule. 

“Shit. We have to be down there at 8 in the morning.” He said with a frown. 

“Ughhh.” I put the pillow over my head.

“Are you kidding me?!” Erwin said with a sigh. Hanji was passed out all the way across their bed, and he was sitting in the chair. He was scared to wake her, fearing she may start puking again. 

“I’m afraid so.” He started scrolling through his phone. “I’m setting the alarm for 7. We have to pack and everything.” The room was a mess to be honest. There were glow sticks and clothes everywhere, which on a normal night would have driven Levi mad. It probably was driving him crazy, but he was staying in bed, also scared that his cleaning would wake Hanji. Erwin had managed to grab an extra blanket before Hanji had completely passed out, but she had collapsed on all of the pillows. “Here.” Levi threw his pillow across the room and Erwin caught it.” 

“You sure? You won’t have one.” Erwin said with a furrowed brow.

“I’ll wrestle the brat for it. Besides, I’m not the one sleeping in a fucking chair. Now turn the damn light out.” Erwin nodded and the light clicked off, leaving us in complete darkness. I heard the covers rustle and felt a warm body press up against my side. It felt so nice in the cold room. These economy hotel really did scrimp on the blankets.

“Give it up.” He yanked the pillow from me in the dark and I fell onto the mattress with a thud.

“Hey!”

“Shut it. You’ll wake Hanji.” I attempted to rest my head on the mattress until I felt his arm pulling me closer. My face was heating up. I wanted to whimper, but I stayed silent. Hopefully they couldn’t hear my heart beating through my chest. His arm was around me, letting me use it as a pillow. My head was resting between his shoulder and his chest. I was so close to him, and he smelled so nice. I could hear his own heartbeat, and it was lulling me to sleep. I let out a content sigh and drifted off, clutching onto his side.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip home from NYC!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I rambled in this chapter, I tried not to :3 <3 Traveling is traveling though. Especially by bus! Ha <3

“Eren…Eren!” My eyes popped open in the darkness and I panicked for a moment. I reach out in front of me, grabbing for something, anything. I felt something warm, next to me, but I was too out of it to realize what it was. I felt an arm wrap around mine and I jumped. “Eren! Calm down.” He whispered. Everyone else must have been asleep still. My eyes adjusted and I saw Levi sitting up in the bed. I was right up against him and I had a blush spreading across my cheeks. My mind shot immediately back to the previous night and the knot in my stomach relaxed. So I hadn’t wrapped my arms around my best friend in the middle of the night without him knowing. That was good. Levi was my…boyfriend. I swallowed hard at the thought. That was still going to take some getting used to. “Scoot over brat. I’m going to turn the light on.” He sounded drowsy but I understood. “Unless you don’t care, in which case you can stay where you are and I’ll turn it on anyways.” I could hear the play in his voice, and I scooted back. I wasn’t quite ready for that yet. He gave my hand a squeeze before I scooted completely away and he reach over to turn the light on. 

“Time to wake up guys.” Levi sounded annoyed as he rubbed at his eyes. It was rare to see him without eyeliner, but I did like his eyes just as much without it. The old clock in the corner said 7:05. I heard the covers in the corner rustle and Erwin tossed his pillow at Hanji. I guess he was tired of babysitting. Levi sighed and got out of bed. “Eren, will you strip my sheets off please?” I stretched and stood up, and began working on slipping the sheets off of the bed. 

“Hanji, Hanji!” I looked over to see Levi shaking her shoulder. She groaned and looked up at him. 

“Mhmmm Leviiii…Those nachooos…” 

“Don’t tell me about the fucking nachos. What have I told you about bar food? It’s disgusting.” He was ruthless. “Now get up and pack your shit.” She groaned again and sat up. 

“Leviiiiii.” She was pouting at him now as she finally sat up in bed. I felt sorry for her. She still looked pretty rough. Her hair was a knotted mess and she still looked pale. I began folding the sheets as I watched them. He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

“You need to listen to me from now on. I’m serious.” She wrapped her arms around him from behind and I felt a tinge of jealousy run through me. What was the deal with them anyways? 

“I’m sorry Heichou!”

“Don’t call me that!” He shot her a glare and pushed her away. Why would she call him that? Erwin chuckled and I frowned. I was the only one not in on this. What was going on?! I sighed and began grabbing clothes out of my bag. I went into the bathroom to change. Maybe this was a bad idea. I didn’t even know I was a jealous person. I took a deep breath. 

Everyone had inside jokes with their friends. Maybe it was just one of those things. 

I left the bathroom feeling a little calmer. I stuffed the rest of my clothes into my bag along with my toothbrush, and leftover toiletries from the bathroom. Levi went into the bathroom briefly, to brush his teeth and came back out as he watched me abuse Mikasa’s suitcase.

“Thanks for folding the sheets.” I looked up to see Levi sorting through his own suitcase. I nodded and tried cramming my clothes into my bag. It just didn’t want to zip I growled and tried forcing it. “What’s wrong, Eren?” I heard footsteps run past us and the bathroom door slammed shut, followed by the sound of puking behind us. “Ewww.” Levi rolled his eyes and kneeled down beside me, trying to help me with my suitcase. By some miracle, we got it shut. 

“Nothing…” He raised his eyebrow and cringed as we heard Hanji puke again. “Let’s get away from here.” He tugged on my shirt and I followed him back into the main bed area. Erwin was getting dressed, but he just gave us a shrug and continued. I covered my eyes and Levi turned me to face him instead. “Tell me what’s bothering you?” 

“What is she to you?” I whispered it as quietly as possible, which wasn’t really necessary since Erwin was digging through a plastic bag in his suitcase now. His expression softened. 

“Let’s go get Hanji some crackers and sprite.” He grabbed his wallet from the nightstand and I frowned. Was he avoiding the question? He was sure to grab the room key off of the table as well. We both slipped on our shoes and walked down the hall to the vending machines. The hallway was abandoned. He leaned against the wall and sighed. “She’s my best friend Eren. Nothing more. I figured you could tell how strongly I felt about you last night…”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that she was hugging you…” My face got red. “I’ve never done this before!” I threw up my hands in defense. He smirked and stood up from the wall.

“So you are saying you got jealous then, Jaeger?” I whimpered and took a step back. He grabbed my hand and spun me around, trapping me against the wall.

“I-I umm…yeah I guess I did.” He chuckled and pressed a kiss to my lips. I looked around frantically. What if someone came out of their room and saw?!

“Well that’s good…because I don’t like other people touching my things either. So we are on common ground there…but.” He froze on the word and his mouth hovered over mine as he said it. “We have to give them an actual reason that she can’t just throw herself on me anymore, you know.” I felt my ears burning now. I tried to look away from him, but he wouldn’t let me break his gaze. He pressed another kiss to my lips and briefly deepened it before pulling away from me as soon as we heard footsteps approaching. We ducted into the vending area as a housekeeper walked by. He sighed as he fed his money in. He hit the cracker button and the pack fell down.

“Let me just say it this way then…maybe I want to show you off to my friends…” He gave me an adorable look and I melted. My stomach was in knots. “I’m happy for once, Eren.” He moved over to the next machine and put some coins in and pressed the button. I felt his hand wrap around mine, and it ripped apart any other inhibitions I had left on the matter. 

“O-okay. They just have to keep it secret for now please. I’m not r-ready yet. Everything’s going really fast.” I frowned and I felt his arm wrap around me in a hug.

“Really?” I nodded against him. My heart was aching. I was scared to death. I knew they had probably accepted Levi without a second thought, but I was dating their best friend.   
Would they hate me now?

“Yeah.” He kissed my neck and continued to further my blush. “Unless you keep that up, then you will make me melt by the time we get there.” He grinned and pulled away, then   
picked up Hanji’s snacks and tugged me down the hall by my hand. I swallowed hard as he unlocked the door. I held onto him for dear life. The only thing I could picture were Erwin’s hands wrapped around my throat. I heard the door click behind us, and we walked into the room to find Hanji sitting up on the bed, with Erwin next to her, staring at us oddly. I was going to die. I couldn’t run, so surely just spontaneous combustion was an option right? Levi gripped my hand tight and threw Hanji her snacks.

“We are together now, so no more groping me Hanji.” Levi said cooly. My face felt hot. I squeezed his hand. 

“WHAAATTT!!!! YAAAAAAY!!! Since when!?” Hanji attempted to jump off the bed but she made a sick face and Erwin pulled her back. 

“Since last night I’m assuming.” Erwin said with a chuckle. My eyes got wide. “I got up to use the bathroom and Eren was using Levi as a body pillow.” I hid my face in Levi’s shoulder and groaned. 

“Congratulations!” Hanji said with a thumbs up. She popped the tab on her sprite and began sipping it. “I would normally be through the roof. Trust me! I just don’t want to puke everywhere! Welcome to the family Eren!” I blushed harder and Levi stepped away a little. 

“See. They didn’t murder you or anything.” I nodded.

“Thanks guys.” I rubbed the back of my head nervously.

“Hanji.” Levi said in a stern tone. “I’m serious about the no groping thing. Try to keep your hands to yourself. Eren doesn’t like it.” I put my face in my hands and groaned. Was he trying to get me on his friend’s bad side today? “He’s the same way that I am.” He added. I looked up through my fingers.

“Gotcha!” She gave a thumbs up. “I’ll try my best at least! Old habits die hard!” The tension in the room had finally cleared. 

“Well, everyone’s dressed and packed except me.” Levi looked at his phone. “I’ve got 15 minutes.” He sighed and stretched. He left me alone with Hanji and Erwin as he went to the bathroom to change. I sat down on the messed up bed. Hanji was staring at her crackers in disgust as she tried to nibble on them, and Erwin was thumbing through his phone. I took the opportunity to take mine off charge and check it. I had two messages waiting for me.

**Mikasa: Happy New Year! How are you going to get that suit case back in without dad seeing? He was in a slightly grumpy mood last night (I figure you will get this in the AM) so be careful when you get home! Try to be home EARLY! Love you <3**

**Armin: Happy New Year! Get lucky up in NYC? Ha ;) Find any cute girls? Pics? Text me back!!!!**

I groaned and replied to Mikasa’s message first. 

**Happy New Year! I had a great time, got back a little late, so sorry I didn’t reply. Levi will come up with a plan for the suitcase I’m sure. We are leaving for home in 15 minutes or so, and it’s about a 7 and half hour ride back without stops, so I should be home right around 5, considering bathroom and food stops. See you soon!**

My fingers hovered over my phone as I looked at Armin’s text. I didn’t know how to respond. UGH. I threw my phone across the bed and sighed.

“That’s not a very happy face.” Levi was staring at me. His hair was still messy, but he had ‘real’ clothes on now, and his eyeliner looked perfect. He was wearing all black again. I’m 100% sure that was his daily wardrobe. It looked great on him, but I wonder what colors would look like?

“Ughhh” I groaned and stared up at him. 

“Or a happy sound.” He was running a comb through his hair, trying to tidy the bed head. He looked over at the clock. “Shit! 7 minutes! Tell me on the bus okay!” He was frantically shoving stuff in his bag and I threw my phone in my pocket and helped him get his stuff together. He zipped his boots up and clicked the handle of his bag into place. 

“Everyone got everything?” We left the room behind and quickly checked out, just in time to meet the bus outside.   
I collapsed into the seat beside Levi. Hanji was almost immediately asleep by the time she was in the seat. Erwin had his earphones in and everyone that was already on the bus was pretty much in their own little world, either with their music on, or asleep.

“So what’s up brat?” He teased. He looked worn out. He had been running around pretty much all morning and none of us had hardly gotten any sleep. I frowned and pulled up the text on my phone and showed it to him.

“This…I don’t know how to respond.” 

“Hmmm….are you going to tell him any time soon? Or are you leaving him in the dark?” I frowned and pulled my hoodie close. I didn’t know how to handle this situation. 

“What if he hates me?” I stuffed my phone into my pocket and began playing with the hem on my hoodie. 

“Then he’s not your best friend. Best friends accept you for you. 100%.” He looked over at Erwin and Hanji and Erwin smiled at us as he moved his head back and forth to his music. “They shouldn’t pressure you to be someone you aren’t.” I felt a shiver run over me and I shuddered. “If you feel like telling him, tell him you’ll talk to him about it later in person.”

“What about Mikasa?” He began digging through his messenger bag and sighed. He pulled out a small green throw blanket. 

“Family is a little different. You have to play that one by ear. They can either accept it. Or reject it. Friends you can always find new ones, but family will be in your life forever. That’s something that’s hard to lose.” He pushed up the center arm rest between us and draped the small blanket over us. I began blushing.

“Levi, what if-“

“We are friends sharing a blanket.” He said with a warm smile. “Most of these people are sleeping anyways. The others have their music in.” He grabbed my hand under the blanket and my eyes got wide. How could he make my heart flutter just by holding my hand? I nodded and relaxed. We did have a 7 hour bus ride ahead of us, and I didn’t want to freeze the whole way. The bus began creeping into motion and we started out long journey back home. I sighed. These had been the best days I’d had since mom had passed away. I hadn’t really known what fun was until I was allowed this escape, but now it was time to return to the place that I was forced to call home. Levi offered me my earbud, which I was right, he had labeled it. I smiled as I stuck it in my ear. He pressed play on his ipod, and it wasn’t long until I felt his head fall against my shoulder. I was having trouble keeping my eyes open myself, and I eventually leaned my head against his and let sleep take me. 

 

“Eren! Levi! Wake up!” I groaned and felt movement against my side and then the earphones were accidentally ripped from my ear. 

“Sorry Eren.” I opened my eyes to see Levi wipe his mouth. He was staring at my shoulder in horror. “I ugh…drooled on you a little.” I blinked a few times and stretched. 

“Not a big deal.” I’m just glad I didn’t do the same thing to his hair. “Why are we stopped?” 

“Lunch time.” Hanji said with a groan. She motioned towards the fast food restaurant and Levi flinched. It was joined with a gas station. 

“I’d rather eat my own boot.” Levi said as he stood up. I joined him and tossed our blanket to the side. I followed him around the gas station as everyone else filed in to the fast food restaurant, except Hanji. She stuck with us this time. “I’m glad you are listening to me.” I frowned as I looked at the snacks. I didn’t have any cash. “I’ve got yours Eren. Just pick something.”

“But-“

“Don’t make me say it twice.” I nodded and grabbed a bag of white cheddar popcorn and a bottle of water. “Eren, get something besides bird food. Eat.” I frowned and looked at all of the junk food in front of me. Levi had a bag of beef jerky in his hand and some trail mix. He also got a bottle of water. I also picked up a bag of beef jerky. He was finally satisfied with my lunch choices and set everything up on the counter. He paid the cashier and we carried our bag over to the combined eating area in the middle.   
He made me sanitize my hands before he would let me have my snacks. He did the same to Erwin and Hanji. Hanji chose crackers and ginger ale for her lunch. 

“I hope you feel better soon Hanji.” I offered before I took a bite of my jerky. She smiled and started sipping on her ginger ale.

“Thanks.” She munched quietly on her crackers. Everyone in our little group was wiped out, including Erwin, who was eating a burger and fries. Levi kept looking at it and snarling. 

“Don’t question my choices Levi.” He said before biting into it. Levi shuttered and munched on some trail mix. “We can’t all live on snack food all day.”   
Eventually, we made it back onto the bus (after a much needed bathroom break) we and curled back up under the blanket. Levi was closer to me now than he had been before.

“No excuses now, brat. You fell asleep on me. You were close.” I blushed and nodded. I guess I was pretty close. I looked around the bus. Everyone had pretty much fallen back asleep already, aside from Hanji and Erwin. They were looking over at us happily. 

“Look at how red Eren is! He’s so cute!” I tried to hide my face.

“Leave him alone, Hanji. He’s embarrassed.” Erwin said as he leaned back in his seat. At least he was taking up for me. I had an ally! “It’s not his fault his so inexperienced!” UGH!!!! 

“Hey. Don’t mind them.” Levi was resting his head against my arm again and he was lacing out fingers together. “They are jealous. “ I was thankful the blanket covered most of us up. That way at least most of the people couldn’t tell. “Are you still tired?” He looked up at me as he pulled his head up from my arm. 

“A little, but I’ll stay awake if you want to.” He shook his head and pulled me down.

“No, I’m glad. I want to sleep also. I’m fucking exhausted.” I slid down in the seat next to him, and we were pretty much leaning our heads together. It took me a little while longer to fall asleep this time, because about the time I tried to shut my eyes, rain started pouring down on the window, but eventually, I drifted off once more.

 

“Hmmm…” I popped my eyes open. Levi was still snuggled up against my side and my phone was ringing in my pocket. I fished it out. Mikasa’s picture was on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Eren! Where are you? Why haven’t you texted me back?! I’ve been worried!”

“What are you talking about?” I stretched and looked outside. “Holy Shit! When did it get dark?!”

“We broke down buttercup!” Hanji said from her seat. “We’ve been stuck on the side of the road for 3 and a half hours. We thought we’d just let you sleep.”

“Shit! Mikasa I’m sorry! We broke down. I fell asleep. I didn’t know.” She fell silent on the other end. Levi was stirring beside me now. He looked up at me in confusion. 

“I’ll try to calm dad down Eren, but I’m heading straight to my room after I tell him you are going to be late. I’m sorry. I’ve tried to keep him calm all day, but he’s just been getting antsy.” 

“Thanks Mikasa…Stay safe. Mhmm…Love you too. Bye.” Shit. I ended the call and saw the time. It was 7:30. I was already two and a half hours late. Dad would probably already be starting on his bottle already. I swallowed hard. 

“Eren. What’s wrong?” Levi sat up and looked at me seriously. 

“Bus broke down. I’m REALLY late getting home.” He frowned and looked at his own phone. 

“Shit, it’s already 7:30?” I nodded and looked out the window. 

“I wonder how far we are?” Levi pulled the map app up on his phone and checked our location.

“We’ve still got another hour to go. That’s if we get moving right away.” I put my face in my hands. What a great way to end my trip. “Eren, who called? Was that your sister?” I nodded and pulled my knees up to my chest. 

“Hopefully we’ll get moving soon.” I said with a small smile. Levi looked worried. “She was worried that I hadn’t texted her. She said dad had been antsy all day, and she was concerned. She said she was going to try to talk to him, but then she was going to bed.”

“I can go with you and explain-

“No. I’m sure he’ll understand. It’s out of my control right? I can’t control the bus breaking down…” He reach over and gave my hand a squeeze. 

“Eren…” I looked out the window. The rain was still pouring hard. 

“Just umm, can you take my bag? I’ll take my bath stuff and a few clothes, but do you care to stow it away for a few days?” he nodded.

“Sure. No problem.” We sat there in silence until the bus was fixed, and in reality it took another 45 minutes. The drive back to the school was nerve wracking, and Levi put on some music to try and soothe my nerves. 

When we were finally back to the school, we parted ways with Hanji and Erwin and Levi and I booked it to the studio. We tore my bag out of the cabinet and I began throwing my stuff into it. 

“Calm down Eren! You don’t want to forget anything.” I stuff a couple shirts along with my toiletries into the backpack. I grabbed my charger and zipped the pink bag shut. 

“Thank you, Levi!” 

“Sure! If you need anything, call. Even if it’s just to talk. Okay?” I nodded and slung my bag over my shoulder. I was in full panic mode. “Eren!” I looked at him and his eyes were filled with worry. “Promise me you’ll call me when you get to your room safe. Or at least text me.” He was holding onto my hand.

“I promise.” He pressed a quick kiss to my lips and let go of my hand. 

“Be safe.” 

“You too.” I waved and ran out the door. I pretty much jogged home. Every second I wasn’t there, was another second that I made the situation worse. 

 

“I’m home!” That lurching feeling struck me as soon as I walked through the door. The feeling of doom overwhelmed me, but I continued on. Maybe he’d passed out by now? I slipped my shoes off and heard footsteps in front of me.

“’Bout’ time. Piece of shit.” I looked up from the floor to see him standing in front of me. I stood up straight. 

“Sorry dad, the bus broke down.” Surely he’d understand. Any normal parent would. 

“Don’t call me t-that. You don’t belong to this family!” He pitched the whisky bottle at my head and it smashed against the wall behind me, a few shards catching my arm on the way down. OH SHIT! NOT GOOD! I ran forward. Maybe if I could get past him and up to my bedroom. He caught me by my shoulder and slung me down onto the floor, making me look up at him.

“AND I FOUND THIS!” he pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and straightened it out so I could see it, swaying back and forth slightly as he did so. NO! NO! NO! There were no stopping the tears that started. “You fucking piece of SHIT. After I TOLD you no ART supplies. Went and DREW anyways!” Levi’s drawing was destroyed in his hand. I couldn’t stop myself. I felt an anger rise in my chest that I’d never felt before.

“NO! SOMEONE DREW THAT FOR ME! HE’S A FRIEND!” I yelled it as loud as I could, screamed it so the stars could even hear. I wanted to scream something different, but I didn’t have that much guts to stand up to my dad. I tried to stand and he practically shoved me through the wall, making me hit my head hard and arm against it. I felt the plaster crack beneath my weight and I fell to the floor again. He kneeled over me and grabbed my hair.

“Now you listen to me, you fucking disgrace. I don’t care if you are good at it or NOT. There will be no more of it in this house. THERE WILL BE NO MORE BACK TALK EITHER! Art is NOT a career! Especially a career for a MAN!” He came down with an elbow to my face and I cringed as I heard bone crack. Everything went fuzzy around me, and the last thing I remember seeing is my dad walking towards the door and leaving.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Eren's fight with his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. Here's another chapter. 3-ish days in a row. ;) Goodies for you guys. Ha <3 Love me. Finished up my first week of classes successfully! Yay! Onto the chapter!
> 
> Also keep me in good thoughts as I am currently stuck on the chapter I'm writing. o.o I don't know if it's that I just haven't had a lot of time to write, or if it's just the current chapter is rough. Blah! Keep the good mojo flowing guys! ;)

Levi’s POV

“Erwin, will you swing back by the studio and drop the bags off at my apartment? I have a bad feeling about something. I need to go check on Eren…” As soon as Erwin got there, I ran out. I had this aching feeling in my chest. Something wasn’t right. I could feel it. I kept checking my phone. He should have been home by now. Still no call. No text. I walked by the front of his house, and the front door was ajar. I heard crying and I poked my head inside. It didn’t sound like Eren, but…

“Who the hell are you?!” There was glass everywhere, and I could see a girl roughly Eren’s age glaring at me. She was standing over Eren’s lifeless form on the floor and my knees went weak. 

“I’m Levi! Are you Mikasa?” Her expression softened and she nodded, wiping tears away from her cheeks. 

“I didn’t know what to do.” Her voice was shaking. 

“Eren. Eren!” I knelt down beside of him. He looked awful. His skin was already beginning to bruise. 

“He won’t wake up!” She was desperately trying to shake his shoulder but I held her hand still. I heard a groan and the pieces of plaster and glass fell off of Eren as he moved. 

“Eren! Stay still until I can look you over.” There was blood and I wasn’t sure where it was coming from.

“L-Levi? Why are you here? What if he comes back?” 

“Then I’ll protect you! I’m not letting this shit happen again Eren! It hurts me to see you like this.” I took his hand into mine. I needed to feel his skin, feel that he was alive. Mikasa shot us a look and she cried harder. 

“Oh God! What’s happening?” 

“Nd’ who the fuck are you?” I heard glass crunch by the door and I let go of Eren’s hand and stood up in front of him.

“I’m Eren’s friend!” I felt my blood beginning to boil.

“That piece of shit has a friend?” The bastard was wasted, but he still looked dangerous. “Move! He needs to be punished for being a damn disgrace.”

“No! I’m not letting you lay a damn dirty finger on him.” 

“Levi…” I hear Eren groan behind me, and he choked, and those strangled cries turned into tears. “Levi, please don’t get hurt.” He was begging me. 

“I’ll just take you out too, you’re half his size anyways.” His father hissed.

He took a swing at me, and I went into action. I caught his fist, and twisted his arm, pushing him backwards as I did so. I moved forward. He tried to take me out with a brute kick and I blocked it, and swept his legs out from under him with my own kick. He struggled to his feet, and he managed to land a single punch on me, before I spun around and kicked him right in the side of the head, knocking him out cold. The side of my head was stinging where he hit me and I raised my hand up to feel blood. I saw the shard of glass in his hand as he laid on the floor. That dirty bastard. I hissed and I ran over to Eren.

“You’re bleeding!” Eren was hysterical. He was nearly hyperventilating.

“It’s just a little cut. I promise it’s not that bad.” The blood just happened to be running down my neck… Mikasa looked at the lifeless form of her dad lying on the ground.

“He totally deserved that. I’m just sorry he cut you…” She frowned as she formed the words. 

“Don’t worry about it. How’s your head, Eren?” 

“A little dizzy, but okay.” I helped him sit up gently and he leaned against me. 

“Mikasa, right?” she nodded and looked over us both. “You have every fucking right to tell me no. But we can both agree this isn’t the best situation for your brother, correct? Obviously we both care about him a great deal, and we want to see him do well.” She was staring straight at us with a frown now. “But I think Eren needs to leave this situation.” I heard her breath catch in her throat and new tears welled up in her eyes.

“I-I do too.” She dropped to her knees beside us in the pile of broken plaster and glass. I felt Eren turn his head into my chest, and tears began to spill into my shirt. I quickly looked over my shoulder to check to see if his dad was still knocked out. He was and we continued our conversation. 

“Are you safe here Mikasa? Does he just treat Eren this way?” She nodded and wiped her tears. 

“He always takes everything out on Eren. I don’t know why. When he’s n-not here, he’s calm. Everything is normal.” She sniffled and looked up at us. Eren was still sobbing against my chest. It was breaking me apart. 

“Eren. Shhhh. It’s going to be okay now.” He nodded a couple times, but his tears didn’t stop. “Can you pack up his stuff? Even trash bags are okay. I’ll have my friends get us in a few minutes. I’m taking him to the ER.” She nodded and sprung into action. 

“What about his backpack?” I looked to the heap in the floor. It was stained and covered in broken glass. I frowned. I knew it had all of his toiletries and things in it, but they would just have to be replaced. 

“Leave it. It’s ruined. There’s no way we have time to get all of the glass out.”

“Okay, I’ll bring a box down with all of his school things as well.” I gave her a nod. I felt Eren tug on my sleeve.

“I can’t afford the hospital Levi.” Eren groaned as he looked up at me. 

“I’ll cover it, it’s fine.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead and new tears erupted.

“D-don’t deserve it.” He clung to me like he was terrified to let go. To be honest, I was holding on like he could slip away in a second as well.

“Yes, you do. You deserve to be treated well Eren. You deserve a safe place to live.”

“H-He ruined your drawing. I’m SO sorry!” He was hysterical now, crying and leaning into me.

“Eren, I can make you a new one. It’s okay. You are more important that a piece of art. He’s an ass. He doesn’t care about you or your well-being. That’s why you have to leave. Okay?” He nodded frantically against my chest and I ran my fingers through his hair. His sobbing had finally quieted slightly.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Erwin again.

“Hello.”

“Hey, I know you are tired of me tonight.”

“Not at all. Hanji and I are at McDonald’s. We hung around waiting for a while just in case something was up. Do you need us?” I had the best fucking friends a guy could ask for. 

“Can you come get me and Eren? We are at his house. I’ll explain when you get here.” I rambled off the address and within 10 minutes they were here. After Mikasa brought down the first trash bag, she had explained that their dad probably wouldn’t wake up from his alcohol induced sleep until morning, which made me a little more relieved. Eren’s sobs had slowed to whimpers by the time they had arrived thanks to my soft words and gentle touches. 

I heard a car door shut and a knock on the door, followed by the familiar crunching of glass. Mikasa was bringing down two more bags at the same time. 

“Levi! OH MY GOD EREN!?” Hanji ran over to us and Erwin stood still and took in the situation. “What happened?!”

“His dad beat the shit out of him. We need to take him to the ER. He’s not coming back here.” He let out another desperate cry into my chest and I held him tight. I heard garbage bags rustle, and Erwin was helping Mikasa load the car. 

“What happened to YOU Levi?” I frowned as she reach in her pocket for a handkerchief and began dabbing my head. 

“I…stopped the threat. I had to protect Eren.” She was holding pressure on the cut. 

“Alright guys! She says that’s everything.” Erwin said from the door. “Get him up Levi.”

“Wait! Please!” I pulled Eren up to his feet and he clung to me. “Can I have this Mikasa?! Please let me take a picture of Mom!” He stumbled as he reach for a picture on the wall. 

“Of course!” I pulled it off and he began sobbing again as he held it to his chest. 

“Thank you!” I wrapped my arm around him and we slowly began walking towards the door. He gave his sister a hug. 

“You are welcome anytime, Mikasa.” I added. “I’ll get your number and text you later. I’ll let you know how he’s doing.”

“Thank you!” And with those words we left her behind to clean up the broken mess, clenching the red scarf around her neck.

 

I pulled Eren close to me in the back seat as he sobbed and clung to the picture. His whole world had just crumbled around him. Everything was changing, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. 

“LEVI!!!!” He pushed his face into my shoulder and cried. “Why didn’t he want me?!” Hanji and Erwin stayed dead silent, knowing this was a question mean solely for me.

“Eren…I think that he just can’t see how important you are in his life right now…sometimes people let things take their lives over and it gets cloudy. They get blinded by God knows what. Revenged, hate, greed, addiction. Any number of things. Just know it’s not your fault. You have people that care about you so much. You’ve got me and Mikasa for sure.”

“And me and Erwin!” Hanji offered from the front of the car. “We were worried about you!” 

“Yeah, they waited around for you to make sure you were okay.” He sniffled and nodded. 

“And Armin? He doesn’t even know…” He whimpered and buried his face in my shirt. 

“Do you need to call him? How long until we are at the hospital Erwin?”

“I’m taking him to Shinganshina Memorial. It’s a better hospital. 15 minutes away.” 

“Call him Eren.” 

“What do I even tell him?!” He looked up at me with pitiful eyes and I smoothed the disheveled hair around his face. 

“Whatever you want to. Whatever you need to get off your chest. Keep what you want to yourself.” He struggled to reach down into his pocket, a pained expression coming across his face. I reach my hand down and pulled his phone out. “Shit…” The screen was destroyed, but the phone still worked. He found his friend’s number and dialed it.

“A-Armin….yeah…sorry I know it’s late. I ummm…dad sorta…yeah. I’m on my way to the ER.” I heard his voice crack and I kept combing my fingers through his hair, picking out pieces of glass and plaster. “Yeah, he went off pretty bad…” I’d never let anyone touch him like that again. Not if I could be there to protect him. “Shinganshina Memorial.” I could tell his arm was starting to ache, so I held the phone up to his ear for him. “No, really you don’t have to. I have a friend with me. Armin!? Hello?” He was frowning.

“He hung up…”

“He must be concerned.” He handed me his phone and I shoved it down in my pocket. Eren looked exhausted. We made it to the hospital eventually, and I stayed with him, all the way back to the ER. (I was a bit intimidating and forced them to let me back, plus Eren was still crying). Hanji and Erwin waved to us as they sat down in the waiting room, then they ushered us through the double doors. Eren refused to give any information. I didn’t press him on the matter. I was pulled to the side for a few minutes, so they could question Eren without my presence. Obviously to make sure I wasn’t the one that had done this to him. 

I heard a gut wrenching sob from the corner of the ER and all I could do was sigh. Poor Eren. 

 

Eren’s POV

“Did that man do this to you?” I couldn’t help but let out a sob as she asked that question.

“NO! Levi SAVED me! He-“ I stopped myself. “He brought me here. He wouldn’t never hurt me.” The nurse gave me a kind smile, and leaned out the curtain. Levi came back in and sat back down at my side. I couldn’t help but to reach out for his hand. He gave me a half smile and took it, after grabbing a tissue from table next to us.

“Calm down.” He gently patted my cheeks. My nose was hurting and burning. BAD. Why hadn’t I noticed before? It felt wet. I groaned. 

“The doctor will be in shortly.” Levi gave a nod and I looked over at him. 

“Do I have a runny nose from crying?” Levi frowned as he looked at me.

“Not exactly…” He grabbed the whole tissue box and began wiping my face off, but he avoided the one place I WANTED him to wipe. 

“Wipe my nose? I know it’s gross…I can do it if you…”

“Sorry…I probably shouldn’t touch it. It doesn’t look that great Eren...it’s pretty swollen.” I tried to look down at my nose and only succeeded in crossing my eyes. The PA came in next, and took down all of my symptoms, and trust me. There was a nice long list. Among them were the top two worst that consisted of a possible broken arm and my nose. 

“Sir…do we need to stitch that?” She looked at Levi and he frowned. He’d forgotten about the gash on his head.

“Ugh…I didn’t think it was that bad…” She stood up and looked at it. 

“Yeah, you need stitches. That’s deep!” He cursed and a fresh set of paperwork was brought in for Levi. “We’ll stitch you up, while he goes off to x-ray!” They loaded me up in a wheel chair and I reluctantly let go of Levi’s hand. I felt myself beginning to panic. I was alone. Well…I was with the nurse, but I was without Levi. They took pictures of my nose and my arm, and sent me back to my curtained off room. Levi was waiting for me, the whole ordeal had taken too damn long. He had a wrapping around his head now. I guess they had put his stitches in, and used the wrapping to secure a gauze pad over it. 

“Do you like my pretty headband Eren?” I chuckled and rested back against the pillow. I know he was doing everything he could to cheer me up. “Look. Hanji brought this back.” He pointed to his messenger bag and I smiled.

“So you have the ultimate man accessory for our wait?” My face was throbbing, and so was my left arm now to be honest. Once again, I lucked out. 

“No, there’s markers.” He pulled out a pack of washable markers and handed them to me. “Decorate it.” My eyes got wide. 

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Decorate it up! And I have this for you…” He pulled out the green throw as well and threw it over me.

“What should I put?” 

“I don’t know…I like cats?” I smiled and popped the lid off of the markers and began going to town on the bandage as he leaned forward, (obviously avoiding the stitched area). I drew a few cats, wrote meow, and made paw prints all over. He stuffed the markers back in his bag once I was done. I was smiling and I knew he’d completed his goal. Our hands were together again, and his other hand was once again combing through my hair. The pain was starting to get to me. I kept squeezing his hand. “Hopefully they’ll give you something in a little while.” He said soothingly. He pressed a kiss to my cheek and leaned back. 

We heard the curtain open and the nurse giggled. “Aren’t you cute! You must really like cats!” Levi just smiled and gave my hand a squeeze. “You have a visitor Eren. He insisted.” Our hands were still linked together as Armin walked into the room and I froze. Shit. I whimpered, but I didn’t want to let go of the comforting hand that was supporting me. 

“Hi. I’m Armin.” Levi waved and gave a half smile. 

“Levi. Nice to meet you.” I peaked up from my place on the bed and Armin grimaced.

“Oh my GOD! EREN! YOU LOOK-“

“Hold it kid.” Levi said bitterly. “He already knows it’s bad, you don’t have to make it any worse.” Armin thought for a second and nodded, then his eyes returned to our hands.

“So you guys are…friends?” My face was turning red from pain….sure lets go with that.

“Mhmmm. We met at the craft shop.” Armin raised his eyebrow and gave me a skeptical look, but shrugged it off. 

“Have they said what’s wrong yet?”

“They think broken arm, broken nose.” 

“Jeez….he really did a number on you…what an jerk.” I sighed and looked over at Levi. Just seeing that stupid head wrap made me smile. 

“Yeah he did, but he’s an ass Armin. I’m not going back there.” I was calmer now than I had been. Levi gave my hand another squeeze.

“Where are you going to go Eren?!” Armin was panicking. Shit…

“Well…”

“He’s staying with me I assumed.” Levi said cooly. 

“You’ve known each other for less than a month and you are going to live with him?!” I frowned. I wanted to pull the blanket over my head. 

“Levi rescued me Armin.” Armin frowned and sat down in the spare chair. 

“Yeah…I guess he did more than me or Mikasa could ever do for you.” We heard the curtain slide open and the doctor walked in. 

“Okay Eren. Bad news, broken nose, and broken wrist.” I groaned and raised my eyebrow as the nurse handed me a medicine cup and a glass of water. I downed it without question. “The nose we are going to put a splint on for a few days. The wrist however, needs to be reset.” My stomach sank. 

 

Levi’s POV

They taped some kind of a rig to Eren’s face to keep his nose in place. He had faint circles under his eyes already where the break had happened. That’s how I knew it was broken. At least the circles weren’t that bad. It’d been about 30 minutes since he’d taken the tablets, and he was starting to fidget. 

“Leviiiiiii.” 

“Yeah?”

“Wanna go.” The medicine was making him loopy, and hopefully it’d take the edge off of his pain.

“They have to fix you first.”

“I feel fine!” Not even close brat. I frowned. I heard the curtain rustle and Armin and I looked at each other in dread. 

“Hey, Eren. Hold onto my hand nice and tight okay?”

“Like on the bus?” I smile and wormed my arm around him and pulled him close. I didn’t want to reveal his secret to Armin, but he really needed me. 

“Yeah, like on the bus.”

“Ready Eren?” The doctor asked,

“Meh! Cold hands!” We heard a crack and Eren went rigid, screaming obscenities. 

“FUCK!"

"I'm sorry..." I squeeze his hand as he squirmed.

"Levi! UGHH! Make me feel better! Kiss….” My eyes went wide and he turned around and stuck his lips to mine. I pressed back and gently leaned our foreheads together. He had tears in his eyes. Obviously they hadn’t given him anything strong enough to fight the pain. Damn doctors. 

“Eren…Relax. You’re okay.” I ran my fingers through his hair and he whimpered. They doctor began wrapping his wrist in white plaster. “Got anything colored?” I asked as I looked over. Armin was still in shock. Who knew if it was from the resetting of the bone, or from the kiss?

“We’ve got blue and yellow.”

“Armin…do you think blue or yellow for Eren? He won’t want plain white.” He groaned against my shoulder. What is it with Eren and this wrist anyways? He’d hurt it before, and now it was definitely down for the count for a while.

“B-blue I think.” I agreed and he began adding the final layers to his cast. The nurse printed up nearly a notebook of aftercare instructions for me and they loaded him up into a wheelchair. We waited at the hospital’s pharmacy for Eren’s prescriptions, and afterwards we loaded him up in the car. Armin followed us all the way out. 

“What’s your number Armin? I’ll keep you updated.” He blushed and mumbled off his digits as I entered them into my phone. “I’ll try to call tomorrow, or at least text.” Eren groaned from the backseat.

“Leviiiiiiii cold.” I frowned and pushed his outreaching arm back in the car. 

“Thanks for taking care of him.” Armin said with a frown and he began wiping at his eyes. It clearly hurt him just as much to see his best friend in this kind of shape.

“No problem. Eren is special to me. If I could have prevented it I would have…” 

“Yeah! You should have seen what Levi did to-“

“Hanji! Now’s not the time!” I barked. “Anyways could you mention that he won’t be in school for a while? A few days at least…” I handed him the doctor’s note and took a mental image of the date. 2 weeks. The doctor had given him two weeks for a broken wrist? Armin raised his eyebrow and I did the same as we looked at the range. “Maybe he was thinking of the emotional toll as well.” I mumbled. Armin gave me a nod and I heard Eren groan again. “Well, we are going to head out.” With another nod, I climbed into the back of the car with Eren and we were driving to my apartment.

“Levi.” Eren said my name as he scooted closer to me. His whole body looked tired now, not just his face.

“Yeah, brat.” 

“Will you keep me warm? I’m really cold…” I gently wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me. 

“Of course.” He had dozed against my chest by the time we’d made it to my apartment. 

 

“Eren…Eren…wake up. We need to go inside.”

“But I’m warm.” His eyes looked up to me and he sighed. His medicine must have been wearing off now. His sentences were returning to normal.

“I know, but I need to get you to bed.” Hanji and Erwin were already out of the car, taking Eren’s things inside. He gave me a nod and allowed me to pull him up out of the car. He almost collapsed as his feet hit the pavement, but I caught him in my arms. “Eren!” He locked his arms around my neck and I pulled him up to his feet. “Just take your time. Slowly.” Poor kid. We’d been traveling all day and then this had to happen. We made it to the front door and after taking one step at a time, made it upstairs. 

“Erwin, bring that pink suitcase up!” I called down to the duo waiting downstairs. I heard heavy footsteps follow us up as Eren clung to me. “Hold him up for a second please.” Eren was reluctant to let go, but Erwin grabbed his shoulders and steadied him as I dug through his bag. I pulled out his pajama pants and a baggy long sleeve shirt, then I pushed the pink case aside. “Thanks.” 

“We’re gonna head out Levi. Key is on the table.” 

“Thanks for everything guys. You don’t even know.” Erwin gave me a knowing smile and let Eren fall back into my arms. The footsteps faded away and the door closed with a click. 

“Bathroom.” Eren muttered. His eyes were half-lidded. 

“Ugh, yeah.” I opened the door and he leaned against me. “Just take your pants off Eren. You can change into your PJ’s.” I saw a blush rise up into his cheeks and suddenly he was awake again.

“I-I ugh…” He was still leaning against me. I was too afraid to let go. Too afraid that his weak body would give out and he’d fall. 

“I won’t look.” I closed my eyes and let him lean against me as he changed, although my eyes almost popped open when he nearly fell over. I grabbed onto whatever I could of him, without looking. 

“Finished.” My eyes popped open and he looked even more exhausted. “Just gotta pee.” He frowned and looked at the toilet. I held him up by his shoulder, near the toilet with my eyes closed once again. Had to say this was the first person I’d ever been with that was concerned with modesty. After I heard the toilet flush I gave him a few seconds and he began moving towards the sink. We washed our hands together and I helped him to bed. His face was one of the brightest reds I’d ever seen.

“I’d have trouble mixing that shade of red if I were to paint you right now.” I joked and I helped him sit down. 

“I can’t help it!” He sat on the bed and let out a hiss. 

“I’m teasing brat, it’s cute. Lay back. I’ll get your medicine.” 

“Not yet.” I stopped and looked at him in confusion. 

“What do you mean?” I ran my fingers through his hair. It needed a good wash, but tonight was out of the question. 

“Can I take it once you are ready for bed?” I hadn’t really thought about sleeping arrangements, but apparently he wanted me next to him.

“Sure. Just don’t stay in pain for my sake.” He nodded and leaned against the pillow.

“Thanks for taking care of me, Levi.” I smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

“No problem. I’m going to check on the house and get ready for bed, then I’ll be in up in a few minutes, alright?” Another nod and he gave me a soft smile. 

I went downstairs to find my living room now filled with trash bags of Eren’s stuff and my own suitcase. The door was locked by Erwin, but I still had to turn the deadbolt into place. I refused to take chances. I turned the lights out in the living room and drug my suitcase upstairs as well. I brought my toiletry bag out and took it into the bathroom, along with a pair of lounge pants and a loose fitting long sleeve shirt.

I looked in the mirror and smiled at the bandage on my head. It had cats and paw prints drawn all over. The nurse told me to leave it on for the night at least. I began scrubbing my face, and I brushed my teeth. I took care of the rest of my nightly routine and turned off the bathroom light, leaving only the faint glow of the blue nightlight that always stayed on by the sink. 

I had grabbed Eren a glass of water and sat it on the nightstand, but he hadn’t touched it. His eyes kept drifting closed and snapping back open. 

“Eren, take your medicine. I’m coming to bed.” His eyes lingered on me and he nodded. I read the bottles carefully, and dropped a total of 4 pills into his hand. He swallowed them and washed them down with his water. I looked over his face. There were fresh tear stains. “You okay?” He nodded and sniffled. I plugged in both of our phones and found Mikasa’s number in his. I sent both her and Armin a quick text, updating them on the situation, before snuggling up with Eren. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close.

“Hard day…” He finally said as he scooted closer to me. I pressed a kiss to his forehead and agreed.

“I know. Things will be better now. I promise I’ll protect you. I don’t let my special things get taken away from me or broken if I’m there to stop it.” He nodded against me and I felt the fabric of my shirt bunch up under his hand. 

“I trust you, Levi.” And with those words he slipped off into sleep, whether it was from exhaustion or from his medicine, I wasn’t quite sure. Either way, my heart was soaring. Eren trusted me. I pressed another kiss to his forehead and snuggled closer to the resting teen. Little did he know how much I actually trusted him as well.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's first day of living with Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: don’t ask me to be precise with dates/days cause yeaaaaaah hah im tryingggg <3
> 
> I appreciate comments as always =]
> 
> This is a pretty long one! Get comfy <3 :D

Eren’s POV

_He was towering over me, with his fist in a ball, ready to strike again. The bottle was already smashed by my head. Mikasa was cowered in the corner. I couldn’t move. I was frozen in place. Terror, pain, sadness. All three were coursing through my veins along with anger. And then there was that ever present question of why? Why did he hurt me? Why did he not want me? Why wasn’t I strong enough to stand up to him? I reach for my phone, it was just a few inches away, and he crushed it under his boot. All hope of calling the one person I could rely on was gone. NO! LEVI! PLEASE! Then his fist connected with my face and I could hear myself screaming and I could feel the pain. Everything was crashing down around me, and all I could do was reach for that stupid cell phone I knew was in pieces and cry out._

Levi’s POV

I was startled awake by Eren screaming. He was reaching for me…well I thought it was me, but he seemed like he was patting for something on the bed.

“Eren! Wake up!” His eyes shot open and he started to shake.

“I-It was a dream?” I nodded and he seemed so relieved. He leaned against me and I kissed him on top of his head.

“It’s okay, you are safe here.” He sighed and tried to relax into my side, and he looked at his cast with a frown.

“How long do I have this on for?” I turned on the lamp beside of the bed and cast the light over both of us. I faintly saw how bad he looked in the early morning light cast through the main windows of the apartment, but I wasn’t prepared for this. I just wanted to hold him and not let go, and yet…I didn’t want to touch him at all. All of the bruises and scratches across his skin just made him look so…fragile.

“I haven’t looked over your discharge papers yet. I didn’t really have time last night. I just wanted to get you home.” He frowned and dropped his arm down.

“Home…” Had I said something wrong? Tears were welling up in his eyes. Damn. I wasn’t good at this. He was an emotional wreck and I was already making it worse. “I-I feel at ease here...with you.” I felt relief wash over me. I ran my hand through his hair and a piece of plaster fell out. “I-I feel like you won’t judge me if I say something wrong…”

“Of course not. I know you are human. But keep in mind I am too. We will probably have our off days.” He gave me a nod and pressed his face into my chest.

“I don’t want to have any off days with you! I don’t want to fight with you!” I smiled and patted him gently on the shoulder.

“Then we’ll try to avoid it brat. We’ll talk things through. Communication is key. If I upset you, let me know, and vice versa.”

“Deal. Levi…I have a question.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I shower soon? I feel gross.” I frowned as I looked him over.

“Well…I would say yes, but I have to go to the store first. Do you remember what you threw in your backpack before you left last night?”

“My shower stuff, right?”

“Exactly…well, there was glass all over the backpack, so we just had to leave it there. Sorry.” I frowned as I said the words to him. I hated to leave any of his things behind, but we didn’t have the time to grab everything. Mikasa was making most of the calls last night on what to take and what to leave behind, but that had been my choice.

“Oh…well it’s okay. No big deal. I’ll manage somehow.”

“I’ll replace everything Eren. It was my call to leave it.”

“You can’t afford that, Levi.” Eren frowned and avoided my stare. I sighed and kissed his forehead. Maybe I shouldn’t keep that from him…

“I have savings I can dip into brat.” His eyes got wide.

“Savings?” He blinked and he looked at me confused.

“Let’s just…leave it at that for now.” He settled back against my side, immediately dropping the subject. “I’m going to run downstairs and get those papers. I’ll be right back.”

“Gonna pee.” He groaned as he rolled out of bed at the same time as me. I watched him for a minute to make sure he could walk okay, and after I saw he was fine and made it to the bathroom, I went downstairs to grab the stack of papers, a notepad, and a pen. I also refilled his glass of water. He was back in bed by the time I got upstairs.

“What is that?” He motioned towards the stack of papers in my hand.

“This is what that nurse gave me. Your discharge papers.” I sat his glass down on the nightstand, and took my place back beside him. “Let’s see…there will be pain…No shit. Blah blah blah….The cast will stay on for four weeks. Please make a follow up with your orthopedic specialist for one month.” Eren groaned. “Come on, that’s not so bad. Legs take like, what, three months to heal? My eyes returned to the paper. “Take medication as directed.” I flipped through the papers and wrote down important notes as I went, stacking the papers next to me in a pile, which pretty much meant they were going on top of Eren.

“I’m being buried!” He shuffled under the papers and I smiled.

“Just give me a minute, I’m reading about your nose.” I smirked and looked at the splint. “Apparently you can start gushing blood at any minute, don’t you think that’s important?” he whimpered and shut his mouth. I finished writing down the directions and sat the papers aside. “So go ahead and make me a list of the stuff you need. Everything that was in that bag needs replaced. Don’t worry about cost, okay? I want you to be comfortable here.” I ripped off my notes and handed him the notebook. “Snacks too. Anything.” I saw a blush forming on his cheeks.

“Thanks, Levi.” He began scribbling down a few things, and I took my phone off charge. It was 8:30. I had more new messages on my phone this morning than I had gotten in the last 3 days combined.

**Hanji: How’s Eren?! How’s he coping? Do you guys need anything? Let me know!!**

**Erwin: I’m here if you need anything. I have to work from 8-4 today, but I’m just a call away this afternoon.**

**Armin Arlert: (3) Thanks again for taking care of Eren.  
How’s he doing?  
Is he okay this morning? Bruising worse? In a lot of pain?**

**Mikasa: Glad you made it okay. Thanks for helping last night. Dad has a concussion btw. You did a number on him. The house has been a bitch to clean up, but he’s been calm today. Keep me posted.**

I sighed and began replying to the slew of messages and then it hit me.

“Shit! Shit! Shit! What is today?!” Eren scrunched up his face as he thought.

“Ugh…I don’t know…the 3rd. Tuesday.”

“Fuck!” I picked up my phone and my thumb hovered over the number to the shop. “Hey, Petra. It’s Levi.” Eren was staring at me now. “Yeah…I know. I’m really sorry. Something happened last night. I had to take a friend to the ER. I got cut myself…” I felt Eren’s hand tighten on my shirt. “Yeah, I totally forgot about it. To be honest he’s here now. He doesn’t have anywhere to stay, and he’s kind of having a rough time.” I heard Eren whimper beside me. “If you could yeah. “Two days would be awesome. Thanks. Bye.” I hung up and rubbed my face. Eren was looking over at me.

“Levi? What’s wrong?”

“I forgot about work this morning. It just slipped my mind.”

“I’m sorry, it’s my fault!” He turned his head into my chest.

“No, don’t worry about it. I would have called in anyways. Petra understands that shit happens. You are more important that a fucking minimum wage job.” He nodded against me and I returned to the messages. I replied to Armin first:

**He doesn’t seem to be in a lot of pain right now (his medicine seems to be helping), but the bruising is bad. Going to give him his medicine is a little while and have him rest. Have to go out for a while to get him some things to shower with, hopefully he’ll rest while I’m gone.**

**Then Mikasa  
 **He had a pretty bad dream, and the bruising is pretty bad. Going to give him medication and send him to bed. Wow, a concussion? Bastard deserves it. Sorry about the mess. ☹****

**Then Erwin **Thanks Erwin! Maybe you guys can come over for Chinese this evening? Cheer Eren up a little? I’ll talk to him about it and see if he feels like company or not. The bruising is pretty bad, so he may not feel like being around anyone.****

**And lastly Hanji **He had a nightmare that shook him up. The bruising is pretty bad. Can you meet me outside in 30? I’m going to give him his medication and have him rest. I need to go to the store and buy a few things.****

That only took forever to reply to everyone. I sat my phone back on the nightstand and looked at Eren. He was finishing up his list and he handed it to me. “If there’s anything that you think of afterwards, just text me, okay.” He nodded and I slid out of bed.

“You are leaving?”

“I’m going to go and get these things for you. You need to rest, Eren.” He frowned, but he nodded. I grabbed some clothes from my dresser and headed into the bathroom, and after flying through my morning routine, I walked back into the bedroom with a towel on my head. I was digging through my bag. “I can’t find my eyeliner.”

“You look fine without it.” Eren mumbled from the bed. I looked up at him with a smile.

“Oh really? When did you decide this?” He popped his eye open and smiled at me, a blush forming across his cheeks.

“Well…I ugh…when you take it off at night…after you wash your face…” I grinned and kissed his lips softly. I chuckled and turned back to my suitcase, checking one last place.

“There it is!” I grabbed it from my bag and went back into the bathroom to comb my hair and apply it to my eyes. I looked somewhat ‘normal’ today. That normal being that I was wearing color for once. I had a maroon Trost University hoodie on. I was too tired to deal with the buckles and latches on my regular jacket.

“You do own something that isn’t black.” Eren said with a chuckle.

“Damn brat!” I leaned over him and I wanted to tickle him, but I decided against it. I knew every muscle in his body must be beyond the point of sore, so I decided on gently running my fingers down his cheek. “Alright, medicine. Now.” He sat up slightly and downed the concoction I’d already prepared. By the time I’d slipped on my boots and walked back upstairs, his eyes were starting to close. “I’ll be back in a little while Eren. Sweet dreams.” I placed another gentle kiss to his lips and pulled the covers up around him.

“Mhmmm.” He smiled at me and I quietly grabbed my phone. I looked at the broken piece of trash he had now, sitting on the table on charge and sighed quietly.  
I quietly made my way down the steps and grabbed my keys on the way, sliding out the door and gently shutting it behind me. I locked the door and the deadbolt, securing Eren inside. Hanji was outside waiting for me.

“How is he?!”

“He’s pretty shaken up. He had a really bad nightmare last night, woke up screaming.” I frowned as we began walking to the store. It was three blocks away and it wasn’t exactly a warm day. “And his bruising is worse today.”

“Bruising usually is worse the next day.” Hanji offered. She pat me on the back as we continued to walk and we huddled close together. “He’s lucky he’s got you taking care of him Levi.” I shook my head and gripped my fists tight.

“See…I don’t think that’s the case…maybe…maybe this wouldn’t have happened if Eren wouldn’t have met me.” I looked at the sidewalk as we walked. “Maybe if he hadn’t went on that trip and hadn’t been late going home he wouldn’t have been hurt like that…”

“Levi, we both know this was bound to happen sooner or later. Eren’s dad was going to go off the edge whether he met you or not. It just so happened that fate had you wonder into each other’s lives and Eren actually had a safe place to go.” I nodded and relaxed my hand a bit. Maybe that actually was the case, I just hate to think that I was the cause of Eren’s pain. “He had such a good time on the trip Levi. You could just see how happy he was.” Hanji added with a smile.

“That’s true.” I gave her a small smile and we picked up our pace as snow began drifting down around us. “Thanks for coming by the way Hanji. I know it was short notice.”

“No problem! Like I said before, I’m here for you!”

“Didn’t you have class this morning?” I raised my eyebrow. I had completely forgotten. Schedules had seemed to slip my mind in general for everyone today.

“I emailed my professor. I can make it up.” I remained silent. I knew how important going to classes were…I had two tomorrow. I’d have to leave Eren for a while.

“I appreciate it. Really.” We were finally at the store and we grabbed a shopping cart and a few reusable bags from the front. They made carrying groceries a lot easier when you are on foot. I pulled Eren’s list out of my pocket.

 

Body wash  
Shampoo  
Toothbrush  
Floss  
Face Wash (sensitive skin)  
Deodorant  
Waffles  
Ice cream  
Hot Chocolate

 

“Really?!” My eye twitched as I looked at Eren’s list.

“Why do you look like you are going to have a meltdown Levi?”

“This is the most undescriptive list I’ve ever seen!?” I pulled out my phone and glared at his list. I scrolled through it and found Eren’s number.

“Levi! Maybe he was concerned about money and didn’t want you to spend a whole lot! Don’t get mad at him!” I put the phone up to my ear it rang a few times.

“I’m sorry the number you have called has been disconnected. Please try again later.” I furrowed my brow. Maybe I hit the wrong name? I tried again. The same thing happened.

“His number isn’t working…”

“That’s weird. Maybe it’s his carrier?”

“No, we have the same provider. I wonder if that asshole dropped him from their plan.” I frowned and dialed Mikasa. Oh shit! She’s probably in school! I hung up quickly. My phone started buzzing in my hand. It was her number.

“Sorry, I forgot you were probably in school.”

“Is Eren alright?!”

“Yeah. He’s at home asleep. I was calling to see if you knew what was up with his phone. I just tried to call and it said it was-“

“Disconnected?”

“Exactly”

“All of my messages have been bouncing back as well. I think dad dropped him off of our plan this morning.”

“Shit. That’s what I thought too. His phone is pretty busted up anyways….well I’m out shopping picking up stuff for him. I might as well add him to my plan. I’ll pass on the info to you later.”

“Wait…You are putting him on your cell phone plan?! You are just a college student right?” I sighed. Here we go again.

“Really. It’s no big deal. I’ve got some savings. I can afford a phone bill. Oh, by the way, do you have any idea what kind of body wash and stuff your brother uses? He was super vague with the list he gave me.” She filled in the blanks for me thankfully, and I began throwing the items from his list in the cart first. Hanji got distracted by smelling all of the body washes in the soap aisle. She picked up the one for Eren and smelled it.

“Is this really what he uses?” The bottle did look familiar. I’d seen it among the bottles in the hotel room bathroom, but I didn’t know whether it was Eren’s or Erwin’s. It was Old Spice. She pushed it so close to her nose, she got soap on it.

“Hanji!”

“I wonder if he has the old spice body to go with it?!” I grabbed the bottle from her and shut the lid. I felt my face getting hot. “Levi blushing? I never thought I’d see the day!”

“Shut up shitty glasses!” I growled. She whistled the old spice tune as I threw it in the cart. That was the last of the everyday items at least. On to the grocery side now. “So what kind of snacks do you think he would want? I know he didn’t write a lot down because he was worried about money…” Hanji gave me a smile.

“What do teens eat these days? Everything.” Hanji joked. “Let’s see…he liked that white cheddar popcorn remember! And beef jerky?” I frowned. I really didn’t know that much about Eren. I sent Mikasa a quick text. Maybe she could give me some ideas.

**Any snack ideas for Eren? Foods that he loves? Hates? Allergies?**

I’m glad I thought of the food allergy thing. You never know. We ended up in the produce section and I began filling up the cart. Bananas, strawberries, oranges, apples.

“Are you going to have him survive off of fruit?” Hanji asked as she looked at my cart. My phone buzzed in my pocket.

**Mikasa: He likes junk food. Eren can’t cook. Easy stuff only. Hot pockets, pizzas you can unwrap and bake (make sure you have a LOUD timer), pizza rolls, waffles. He can make sandwiches. I’m pretty sure he burnt ramen once, and I KNOW he caught a few pizzas on fire, so be sure you have a loud timer. Of course the regular junk food is fine. Chips, cookies, ect.**

I groaned as I read over her text.

“What’s that about?”

“He doesn’t know how to cook.” I looked to the frozen food aisle. Guess this was going to be our staple food until I could teach him. I moved the fresh fruit up to the top basket and began loading the cart down with everything Mikasa had mentioned, along with a few extras, including some frozen breakfast foods. A lot of microwave ready meals, TV dinners, ect. It was nearly full already.

“How are we going to carry this Levi?!” Hanji groaned.

“I guess we’ll have to call a cab. Who cares? Go grab another cart. I’m stocking up my pantry while I’m here.” Soup was easy right? Surely he can cook soup. We’d work up from pizza to soup, then maybe I can teach him to make a grilled cheese to go with it. I kept adding to the carts and eventually we make it to the last aisle which had bread, milk and soda. I loaded my cart with a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, and two 12 packs of soda. We walked to the checkout and Hanji went ahead to call the cab.

“It’ll be $423.89” Hanji turned towards me and her mouth dropped open. Holy shit. I’d never spent that much at a grocery store before. I shrugged it off and slid my debit card through the machine. It was all for Eren. I had to keep reminding myself that. We loaded the groceries up in the cab and had him wait outside the cell phone store as I went in.

“What kind of phone are you going to get him? He needs a new one right?” Hanji asked as she looked at all of the shiny phones. I took my phone out of my pocket and looked at it. There was always that ever present debate of android vs. apple. I really didn’t think Eren cared though. He had some type of off brand phone sitting on the nightstand at home.

“He deserves something nice. He had a piece of shit phone. It wasn’t even a name brand.” We walked over to the Samsung display.

“Can I help you?” The new galaxies had just come out last month. I hadn’t even upgraded mine yet.

“I need to add a line to my plan.” He took down my info and came back a few minutes later.

“You are eligible for an upgrade on your current line, did you want to?” A new phone was tempting…My phone was pretty beat up. I’d had it for a while.

“Shit…why not. I want two of the new ones.”

“Levi!” Hanji gave me a surprised look.

“What? I’ll have a matching phone with him. It’ll be…”

“Cute?”

“Shut up!” The guy left us to bicker and set up Eren’s phone. He slid my card again, and a few hundred dollars later, we had matching phones, and the cases to go with them. My phone wasn’t active yet. I still had to transfer everything over. I thanked the man and we got in the cab and directed him towards the apartment. I unlocked the door and we began unloading the groceries. After tipping the guy (a few extra dollars for waiting so long) we were finally done with our adventure for the day…besides unloading all of the groceries. Hanji collapsed on the couch with a loud groan.

“UGH!!! What a day!” She kicked her shoes across the living room.

“Shhhh! He may still be asleep!”

“Levi?” I heard Eren’s voice come from upstairs and I ran up the stairs to him.

“Sorry if she woke you.” He was stretched across the bed.

“No, I’ve been awake for a little while. Can I come downstairs with you guys?” I smiled as he sat up.

“Sure. Just watch out for Hanji. She’s full of it today.” He nodded and followed me downstairs. “Oh, by the way Jaeger, what kind of a list was that?!” We both made it down the steps safely, although he was holding onto me by the last step, still slightly groggy from his medicine. I walked him over to the couch and he plopped down beside of Hanji.

“Sorry, was it not good?”

“You didn’t specify anything. Hopefully your sister knows you well.”

“You talked to Mikasa?!” Eren leaned forward and grabbed my sleeve.

“Yeah. She took the day off from school.” Eren frown and let go of my sleeve.

“I tried to text her earlier, but I didn’t have service.” I pulled the white bag out from among the grocery bags and handed it to him. The guy had put his phone back in the box.

“Yeah, she said your dad dropped you this morning. So here you go.” His eyes went wide as he looked at the bag. Hanji was beaming next to him. I grabbed my own bag and began opening it at the same time.

“L-Levi….You didn’t?!” he picked up the new phone and his hand was shaking. “Why?!”

“Because you deserve it. Look.” I held my phone up to him. “We match.” He had tears in his eyes. I frowned and the next thing I knew he was crushing me in a hug. “Oi, brat.  
Careful. Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you….” I smiled and kissed his cheek. “No one has ever cared this much before. I just…it’s…” I felt his body jerk and my hand ran down his back. He was pressing his face into my neck gently, trying to avoid the splint on his nose. I felt tears running against my skin.

“I know. And I do care about you Eren.” He jerked again and hiccupped. Hanji gave me a small smile as I rubbed his back.

“I-I just feel guilty that you spent so much. I f-feel like a burden.” He let out a sob against me and I held him tighter.

“You aren’t a fucking burden. You remember what I said about communication earlier right?” He nodded against my neck. “Well that’s one way to piss me off, is putting yourself down. If you want to show me your appreciation, just say thank you and pay me off in hugs and….ugh…”

“Kisses?” Eren offered. I felt my face turning red. Since when did I say sappy lines like that?

“Yeah. That’ll work.” I pressed another kiss to his cheek and he nodded before carefully placing a kiss to my lips, being sure to avoid the stupid splint on his nose. “Now rest while we put up these groceries. Right Hanji?!”

“Yeah, yeah! I’m getting up!” She hopped to her feet before Eren sat down. We began packing away the groceries, jamming food into every space we could fit it. “I think you went overboard, Levi!”

“Take some soup then!” I began loading a bag down with soup and ramen for Hanji. Eren looked over at us from the couch and laughed. The sound was music to my ears and it distracted me so much that I let a can of soup roll off the counter and land on Hanji’s foot.

“LEVIIIIII!!! OUCH!!!” Eren was cackling now.

“You’ll be fine! It’s just soup!”

“It hurt!”

After the food was finally packed away, we all sat on the couch and turned on ‘From the New World.’ Eren had suggested it, and it was among the popular anime on crunchyroll, so I pulled it up. I felt him shiver against me so I got up and walked over to the closet by the door and pulled out the blankets we were using the other day.

“Our anime blankets?” I smiled at the words.

“I want one Levi!” Hanji frowned and I tossed her the smaller blanket. Then Eren frowned. Really, it was like dealing with two year olds.

“Now Levi is gonna be cold!” I pulled Eren close and wrapped my arm around his shoulder. Then I threw the bigger blanket over the both of us.

“Not when I have you to snuggle with. Hanji can have the damn blanket. I’ve got a warm brat.” Eren blushed a shade of red and tried to duck below the blanket, but lifted his head back up when I restarted the show. “Erwin will be off at 4. Does Chinese sound good?” He nodded and leaned against me. So warm. I made a motion to grab his hand under the covers, but realized it was the hand that was wrapped in plaster. He left that hand there, but leaned awkwardly across my lap with his other arm just to hold my hand, nearly kicking Hanji.

“Watch it Eren! Don’t get too frisky while I’m here!” Eren huffed against me and kicked at her, which made me laugh. “Hey! He’s already turning into you Levi!”

“My evil little brat?” I smirked in her direction and pulled him close. We all quieted down and concentrated on the show for a while.  
After a few hours, (and a few snacks) had passed, Eren began to squirm against me. He hadn’t been this restless before when we were watching Death Note.

“What’s wrong?” He moved his arm out from the blanket and looked at it.

“It’s hurting…” I looked at my phone. It’d been over 6 hours since his last dose of medicine.

“Well it makes sense that it would. It’s broken.” He frowned and let it drop into his lap. “I didn’t mean it that way.” I ran my hand through his hair and he looked up at me. “Why don’t you go take a shower, then you can take your medicine.” He looked away from me for a moment

“How am I supposed to shower with this thing?” he held the cast up in front of him again. I stared blankly at it and Hanji started laughing.

“Tape it up!” Hanji said in delight. I sighed and stood up, pulling Eren with me.

“Come on, let’s leave the lunatic to herself. Grab your bag.” Eren followed me after I grabbed a few plastic bags from the kitchen and went upstairs. I grabbed a roll of tape from the desk in the corner, and the last clean outfit out of Eren’s bag before joining Eren in the bathroom. I shut the door behind us.

“Take off your shirt.” His face started turning red.

“Levi!” I shot an annoyed look at him.

“Seriously brat. I need to wrap this around your arm, and unless you plan on taking a shower with your shirt on, you need to strip.” He looked to the floor and his hand froze at the hem of his shirt.

“I-I…” I saw the embarrassment filling his face. “This is just new…” There was also a slight hint of fear. I softened my voice a bit.

“Eren…I’m sorry…I wasn’t thinking.” I set the plastic bags aside and drew closer, wrapping my arms gently around him. He sighed and leaned his head against mine.

“It’s just…embarrassing.” I pulled back and gave him a soft smile, gently running my finger along his jaw.

“I know. But here’s the thing Eren…it goes back to trust. Letting someone see your body, seeing every inch of you and trusting that they won’t judge you is part of that. I won’t be seeing every inch…unless you want me to.” I chuckled and Eren gently buried his face in my hair. “But I can assure you, everything that I see, I will appreciate and be thankful that you have trusted me with it. Okay?” I felt him nod against me and he slowly drew back.

“W-will you do it? It’s hard with one arm.”

“Sure.” I placed a soft kiss on his lips before slipping my hands down to the hem of his shirt and pulling it up over his head, revealing tan skin underneath. I carefully slipped the long sleeves the rest of the way off of his arms and let the shirt fall to the floor. He didn’t have an ounce of fat on him, and clearly his self-esteem had been tarnished by his dad. His eyes were closed tight. “Eren, open your eyes. Look at me.” He opened them as I wrapped my arms around his waist again and leaned my lips against his ear. “You’re fucking gorgeous.” I heard him let out a whimper. We stood there for a minute or two, just enjoying the contact and warmth. After we shared a few kisses and caresses, I eventually got the bags taped around his cast.

“Anything else you need help with before I leave?”

“No, I should be okay. Thanks.” I shut the door behind me and plopped down on the bed, just in case he needed me. The shower took 45 fucking minutes. I got bored of my phone in 10 and Hanji eventually joined me upstairs.

“Eren, you okay in there?”

“Ugh…I…sort of….no…not really. Please….just…help.” I walked in to find Eren red-faced and standing (mostly) in his underwear. I slammed the bathroom door behind me and locked it. I felt my own face blushing. “I-I can’t get my pants on.” Fuck. I walked over to him and the pile of clothes in the floor.  
“Okay, feet in.” He stepped into the pants and instantly, I could see why he was having trouble. These particular pants were skin tight. “These are a squeeze aren’t they?”

“Mikasa said they looked good on me!” I yanked them up, feeling the heat radiating off of him, I tugged the pants up around his ass and pulled tight. He was a bright shade of crimson now. I smirked. I reach down and pulled the zipper up and buttoned them. They did look good on him. And he looked extra good shirtless.

“You do look good in those pants. Just don’t bend over too far brat or they’ll rip.” I kissed his cheek and reach him his t-shirt. He pulled it on carefully, trying to avoid his nose.

“Alright, all done?” With a nod we were finally finished in the damn bathroom. I handed him the pills he needed to take for the afternoon and he frowned.

“Can I stay downstairs with you?” I ran my fingers through his still damp hair.

“Why wouldn’t you be able to?” he gave me a smile and downed his medicine. We all cuddled up on the couch in our original positions and before I knew it, Eren’s eyes were beginning to droop.

“Hey, get comfy. Rest. Erwin won’t be here with the food for a couple of hours.” He gave me a tired nod.

“Hanji, will you take the chair so Eren can lay?”

“Sure!” Hanji jumped up with her blanket and snuggled up in the chair.

“Lay down Eren. You can use my leg as a pillow.” He sleepily obeyed, stretching out his lengthy body across the sofa. I threw the blanket across him, and he was too tired to complain. I began combing my fingers through his hair, and within a few moments, his breathing evened out, and he was asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi tries making Eren feel more at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the nightlight!!!  
> http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/30150984/
> 
> As always comments are appreciated :3 They keep me motivated! <3 Thanks Guys <3333

A few days later

“Levi! OUCH!” Eren drew back from me as I pulled at the tape on his nose. 

“It’s got to come off Eren!” He frowned at me and took another step back. “I’d like to know what kind of tape they used. It’s stuck on like cement.” Today was the day for Eren’s nose splint to come off, along with the god forsake tape and it wasn’t playing nicely. I didn’t want to yank it hard and hurt him, like I usually do to my own band aids. That just wasn’t an option. “Let’s try to loosen up the glue.” I wet a washcloth with warm water and began soaking the tape. The bruising around his eyes had started to fade a few days ago, and it was nearly gone already. He had been here for five days already.

I’d like to say we’ve already fallen into a nice steady pace of living together, but that would be a lie. He’s still nervous around me. His things are still downstairs in the trash bags that Hanji and Erwin had brought in, and his assignments keep piling up. I did manage to wash the clothes that were in his suitcase, so he would have clean clothes for a while. His nightmares are a nightly occurrence. Let’s just say I’m concerned at the very least. 

“Eren…we need to talk.” He looked up at me with eyes full of sadness.

“I’ve already screwed up, huh?” I narrowed my eyes at him. He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, and I was kneeling down in front of him to trying to scrub at the stubborn tape. 

“What are you talking about?”

“I guess I really am hard to live with…” I could see tears in his eyes and he began pulling at the sleeves of his shirt nervously. “I must be even harder to d-date.” 

“Eren. Calm down. I’m just worried about you.” I finally got a corner of the tape up and began working it back with the washcloth. “There’s nothing to be concerned over, but I want you to tell me if there’s something bothering you. The whole reason you are here is so you can have a better life. I don’t want you to be miserable. I want you to be happy.” I saw a tear roll down his cheek and he jerked at his sleeve nervously. 

“W-what if…what if…I’m scared.” I put the washcloth aside for a moment and pulled him into my arms. 

“Don’t be. Nothing bad will happen to you.” I whispered in his ear. 

“I’m scared I’ll say the wrong thing….that I’ll lose you.” 

“Eren, I’m in this for the long haul with you if you are willing to commit. That choice is yours. Ever since I met you, I felt like fate just drew us together for a reason.” I felt him jerk against me. “So anything you say, we can work through. Okay? If you are in it for the long run too that is.” I pulled back with a smile and he nodded. I placed a gentle kiss on his lips and he wiped his face.

“I-I’m just feeling really down since I left…” I smiled softly at him and ran my fingers through his hair. “And it’s not that I don’t enjoy being here with you! Because I really do…it’s just… that …. I miss Mikasa. I miss my stupid tiny bedroom…I miss the pictures of…” He paused for a minute and I could see the calm before the storm. I could see the tears welling up and I knew he was going to lose it. 

I dropped down onto the floor and sat, and pulled him down into my lap. He burst into tears against my chest. “I miss mom!” I ran my fingers through his hair, trying everything I could do to comfort him, but I knew that there was nothing that could replace that piece of his heart. 

“I’m so sorry Eren…” I kissed the top of his head. The tub felt cold against my back, but Eren’s contrasting warmth felt nice. I just hated the circumstances. “I know that it doesn’t matter…but how long ago? Well…I said that wrong. It DOES matter, because she matters. You know what I mean. Fuck.” He nodded and gripped my shirt tight. 

“M-May.” My heart dropped. May? Fucking May of last year? Surely he didn’t mean that. “I-I haven’t even been to the cemetery yet…not since the funeral. I feel bad about it.” Another sob ripped through him. Shit. This poor fucking kid. I just wanted to hold him down and kiss him until he forgot about all of his worries and problems, but I know that wouldn’t help. 

“So it’s been less than a year?” I ran my hand through his hair once more and he nodded. “Damn…well brat…no Eren…I…I can’t say things like that get any easier…I…shit. I guess I’ll tell you about my past if you want to hear it. I’ve lost someone close as well, so I can sort of relate. If it’ll make you feel better. If it won’t then I’ll just shut up.” He nodded against me, and I gave him a hug. “Let’s go into the bedroom, this floor is cold. You’re shivering.” He slowly stood up, and we made our way to the bed. It was a mess, which never happened in my apartment. I had been far too concerned over Eren to care lately.

I took him into my arms again once we were snuggled up together. He looked up at me through watery eyes as I readied myself for my story. I’d only told a few people. Two to be exact. Hanji and Erwin. He’d be special #3. I let out a sigh and began to speak.

“So…you know I’m a junior right?” he nodded and I laced our fingers together. He let his cast rest across my chest. “Well…I came out to my parents in my senior year of high school.” Eren’s eyes got wide and he let out a whimper. 

“How did they-“

“I’m getting there.” I smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips. I felt tears threatening my own eyes, but I pushed them away. “Well, they were surprised obviously at first. Then after they thought about it for a moment, they decided that it would hurt their reputation to have a gay son.” 

“Levi…” Eren pressed his face into my chest and I felt a few more tears slip from his eyes.

“I’m not telling you this to upset you. There a point I’m trying to make, just keep listening.”

“Okay…”

“Well, they decided that the best thing they could do would be to send me away for four years to a nice college, all expenses paid and maybe I would be fixed by the time I came back. They said it wasn’t normal. Tch. Hints the reason I told you not to worry about money. My parents are loaded.”

“But that’s just ridiculous!“

“Well they obviously don’t give a shit what I want or how I feel. They don’t understand.” I felt him squeeze my hand. “Which is where my Nana comes into play.” I swallowed hard. I hadn’t mentioned her since the last time I’d went and visited her grave with Hanji, that had been a few months ago. “Well…my Nana is…was from France. She was an amazing person Eren. She lived here you see, well after she moved from France, and my parents had me move here right after I graduated high school to stay with her that summer so I   
could enroll in Trost.” I felt tears threaten at my own eyes, but I pushed them away. 

“As soon as I walked into her house the first thing I said to her was I had the fucking right to fall in love with who I wanted to. I yelled it at the top of my lungs Eren. She didn’t looked shocked. She just smiled at me and gave me a hug. She told me that she didn’t agree with what my parents were doing one bit, but she agreed that I had had every right to love who I wanted.” I felt nerves bundling up in my stomach. I had an important fact to tell Eren, but I didn’t want to make him angry. I couldn’t leave it out. I had to tell him everything. We couldn’t build this relationship on half-truths.

“Can I tell you something, and you won’t hate me for it Eren?” He looked up at me and nodded. “The reason I found out…I was gay…I guess my big revelation…was Erwin.” My stomach dropped and I saw Eren look away from me. “I had a big crush on him…I even kissed him once, but there was just nothing there.” He looked back up at me. His face was red. “Do you hate me?” 

“Why would I? I’m glad you are telling me the truth. I’ve been lied to my whole life Levi…It’s about time someone…” I felt him grip my shirt again and fresh tears began spilling. Shit. Hopefully he wasn’t crying because of my confession about Erwin. I frowned and gave him a hug. 

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have-“

“No. It’s okay. That was just…everything is just really….hard for me right now. I keep remembering stuff about mom. Please, finish your story.” I smiled and kissed his forehead. 

“Well, Erwin also applied to Trost when he learned what had happened. We were still best friends, even after all of the awkwardness, thankfully, and everything went back to normal.” I adjusted Eren in my arms. “Well Nana encouraged me to be myself. I didn’t know what major to pick. I was stuck. It just so happened that we were sitting at the kitchen table one day together and she was scrapbooking. I took a few sheets of her paper and began sketching and the rest is history. She never stopped encouraging me, Eren.” I felt my voice crack. “Then I got my acceptance letter for Trost. She told me she was so proud. She told me to shoot for the stars. To find someone that she would approve of…that would make me happy, that would make me smile. I left the next day for my new apartment. This one to be exact.” I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, but I tried everything in my power to push them away. “That was the last time I got to see her Eren. I didn’t even know she was s-sick.” I felt him wrap his arms around my neck and that was all it took to send me over the edge. Tears spilled out as I grabbed onto him and we both cried together in the silence of the empty apartment. 

 

We were both exhausted, but somehow we felt better. It’s like we’d cried out all of our tears, like talking about everything had somewhat helped. I didn’t mean to be irritated by it, but Eren’s nose split kept poking me in the chest. Fuck it.

“Eren, look up at me.” He turned up towards me and I grabbed the corner of tape I had gotten loose and yanked the whole thing off at once.

“LEVI! WHAT THE FUCK?!!!” He went to grab his nose and I held his head in place, looking at it carefully. His skin was a little red, but it was otherwise fine.

“Are you even old enough to use that kind of language, brat?” I said with a smirk. I tossed the splint in the trash and he gave me a horrified look. 

“Y-you just-“

“Took it off. Like the directions told me to. Let’s go wash your face.” I looked at his nose. Most of the swelling was gone. “It looks a lot better.” I pulled him up and we went back to the bathroom. I gently washed off the leftover adhesive and cleaned around his nose where a little dried blood remained and he looked almost normal again. He looked in the mirror at his nose. 

“You can’t tell can you?” He looked closely at his nose.

“Nope. Not really. It’s still a little swollen, but you can’t see the break. It’s still healing though.” He sighed and leaned back. I turned him around and pushed him back against the sink. I’d been waiting too long for this. I pressed a kiss to his lips and ran my tongue over his lips and he timidly parted them, allowing my tongue entrance. His mouth was mine to explore again without fear of bumping into that damn splint. I kissed him deeply, and poured every ounce of emotion I’d held back the last few days into the kiss. He kissed back timidly at first, but eventually he loosened up and began kissing back with the same hunger. We both parted with rosy cheeks and shining lips. 

“I-I umm….” He was breathing hard. 

“I’ve been scared to bump that thing.” I admitted. I leaned my head against his and smiled. “Now you are all mine, Jaeger.” He blushed a deep shade of red. “How about we make you at home now?” 

“What?” I smiled and drew my phone out of my pocket. 

“I’ve got an idea.” I winked at him as I clicked on Erwin’s picture.

“Hey Erwin. You busy?” Eren blinked. 

 

An hour later we were walking through IKEA, looking for a dresser for Eren.

“You really don’t have to Levi!” Eren rubbed at his head nervously as he followed us around. I had just enough room left upstairs for one more piece of furniture (if I moved my   
drawing table downstairs.) “Really! I don’t want you to have to move your desk for me…” His yammering hadn’t stopped since Erwin had arrived with his toolbox. I took a quick look around me before turning around and pinning him up against an armoire.

“Look. If I didn’t want to do this for you, I wouldn’t have thought of it, okay? It’s not a burden on me, and it’s not a pain in my ass, or Ewrin’s. We don’t want you living out of trash bags, and your stuff isn’t going to fit it my dresser. Besides…Eren?” He face was going red and his eyes were wide. I smirked at his embarrassment. It was so tempting. 

“Besides, I’m not going to keep you awake at night if I draw, so it just makes sense to move it downstairs.” My lips were dangerously close to his. “Okay? So stop worrying.” He gave me a nod and I pressed a kiss to his forehead and pulled back. Just that simple gesture was enough to turn his face maroon for the next twenty minutes. We decided on a black dresser that would fit in the space and lifted in onto our cart. We passed by a comforter that caught my eye and I stopped to look at it.

“Do you like this color, Eren?” I asked as I mulled over the price.

“Say no.” Erwin joked with him. I shot him a glare.

“I like it. It looks soft too…” He said as he took a step beside me.

“It better be for that price. It matches your eyes. I like it.” Eren blushed beside me and I looked over the sheet sets next to it. 

“And nothing else in your apartment, Levi.” Erwin added with a chuckle. “We all know where this is going.”

“It’ll just be a few things!"

 

3 hours later I walked through the door with my new comforter…and new sheets, new curtains, rugs, shower curtain, Eren’s dresser, throw pillows, towels, and a night light that Eren had surprisingly asked me for.

Erwin and I carried everything in as Eren waited impatiently. He felt helpless with his broken wrist. I dug through the bags and found his box. 

“Here, go find a spot for this thing.” I said with a grin. He blushed as he took it into his hands. Why would he want something like that? It was a little turquoise cat that glowed. Erwin had went back to the car to get another load of bags.

“Thanks Levi.”

“You’ve already thanked me ten times.” He blushed and stepped towards me with the box in his hands. He placed a quick kiss on my lips before running upstairs and I felt my face heat up as I smiled. I just shook my head and kept digging through the bags. 

“Last ones!” Erwin closed the door with his foot as he dropped the bags and my eyebrow twitched. There was a footprint on my door. But he was helping, so I would just have to let it slide. 

“Thanks! So dresser first then?” I asked as I looked at the long cardboard box leaned against the wall. 

“Yeah, let’s get it upstairs. The toolbox is up there still, so that’s a start.”

First we started with me pushing and Erwin pulling, then I realized I wasn’t strong enough to get it up the steps. Eren was watching from the top and I sighed in defeat. Then I realized that my shins didn’t need to stand in Erwin’s way as he pushed from the bottom of the stairs. 

“SHIT!”

“Levi! Sorry!” I frowned and took a step to the side to pull up my pants. Well that skin used to be there. Great job Mr. Muscles! I heard Eren whimper.

“D-do you need a band aid?” I looked to the top of the stairs and smiled. 

“In a minute probably. I’ll let you patch me up, since Captain Eyebrows doesn’t know how to drive!” I shot him a glare. 

“Go ahead and head up Levi. I can probably just do it better by myself.” 

“So full of it!” I sighed and went to the top of the stairs and watched as Erwin easily pushed the stupid fucking box the rest of the way up. 

Eren pulled on my arm and tugged me into the bathroom. He was frowning. Oh right, my shins. I sat on the edge of the tub. Talk about role reversal. Erwin leaned against the frame of the door watching us. He wasn’t even out of breath. I rolled up my pant legs on each side for him. One side was just a few scratches, nothing major. The other side was bleeding. 

“Tch. See was you did to me Erwin?” Eren whimpered and started wiping my legs down. 

“I can’t help that you wanted to get a 150lb dresser up those stairs.” Eren froze for a moment, but continued on silently with his cleaning. He opened the band aids with his teeth and started sticking them on. I grinned and watched as my gorgeous brunette went to work. 

“That’s okay. Feel free to keep injuring me. I have a sexy nurse to fix me.” 

“Levi!” Eren stuck the last band aid on and looked away with a deep blush. I snickered and let my pant legs drop back down. 

“Thanks, Eren.” I helped him pick up the trash and we began putting the dresser together. Eren watched from the edge of the bed intently. 

“You have to follow the directions, Levi!” I groaned and threw the screwdriver at Erwin. This was annoying. I laid back and looked up at the ceiling. Oh, there’s an Eren looking down at me. He blushed, but he didn’t look away. 

“Come give me motivation?” I begged. “I want to set this thing on fire.” He moved off of the bed and sat beside of me. “Artists don’t follow directions. Do they Eren?” He grinned and I leaned my head against his shoulder. 

“If it were up to you two and if Hanji were here instead of me, this thing would be downstairs and taped together.” Erwin said with a bright smile. After a while, we managed to get the drawers together and set them aside.

“Half-way there!” Eren said with a thumbs up. “I would clap but…Yeah. So wooo!!! Go Levi! Go Erwin!” I smiled at the stupid brat. So cute. 

“Eren, will you order a pizza? Just use the app. What do you want Erwin?”

“Anything is fine. I’m starving.” He thumbed through his phone.

“Okay. I just re-ordered what we got last time.” 

“Sounds good.” 

“Shit!” We both looked at Erwin who was now holding his hand and he got up and ran to the bathroom. 

“Is this just the day for bloodletting or something?” I groaned as we followed him. After bandaging up Erwin’s finger, we washed up and went downstairs for a break. The pizza arrived and we dug into it. 

“I really appreciate everything.” Eren said as he looked down at his slice. “I’m just not used to people being nice like this.” 

“It’s not a problem, Eren. That’s what friends are for!” Erwin said with a smile. Eren smiled right back and nodded. We finished up our pizza and got back to work. An hour later and the dresser was complete.

“Alright, I’m heading out. I’ll leave the decorating to you guys.” 

“Thanks for everything, Erwin!” We were left in the living room together, staring at each other, then our eyes dropped to the bags setting in front of us. 

“You ready for this Eren?” he sighed and nodded. I grabbed two bags and he picked up one, carrying it up the stairs behind me. I worked on the knot gently, and he just ripped open the bag, letting his clothes spill over the floor. He threw his bag aside and looked at the pile of clothes in front of him with a frown. It appeared to be mostly summer clothes. I gave up on the knot and tore into the bag, adding my bag to the pile. A lot of these clothes looked faded and worn out. I was frowning as I stared.

“Eren…” He picked up a t-shirt and looked at it before folding it and placing it in the drawer.

“Yeah?”

“When’s the last time you went clothes shopping?” he stayed silent for a moment as he folded and put his clothes away. 

“Well…mom was sick for a while…Her treatments were expensive.” He dropped the shirt into his lap and stared at it. “She was sick for two years…the last three months were the most expensive I guess…but I guess the whole time?”

“Two years?” He nodded and started folding again. No wonder all of his pants looked too short…and too tight. 

“But I haven’t grown that much! So it’s no big deal!” he said with a strained smile. I smiled back at him. What a joke. I could see the hurt in his eyes. It was his father’s responsibility to see that his kids had clothes that fit. “Besides, Mikasa always tries to buy me a couple of things for my birthday and Christmas.” 

“Put the things you want to keep in the dresser. I’m taking you shopping tomorrow, brat.” He froze as he held a pair of jeans in his hands and I saw his head drop down. 

“What am I to you?” the words shocked me. What was he talking about?

“What do you mean Eren? You’re my boyfriend. Right? I want to take care of you.”

“Well you are making it seem like I’m a fucking charity case.” He threw the jeans down and walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. 

“Eren!” I walked over to the door. “I just want to help!”

“Well it’s not! You are throwing it in my face! Leave me alone! I don’t want clothes.” I tried to open the door and it was locked. Shit. 

“Eren! I’m sorry-“

“Just give me some space!”

 

Eren’s POV

I sighed and sat down against the tub. What was I doing? I knew Levi wasn’t trying to hurt me, but I felt so…heartbroken. My whole life was being stripped away, piece by piece. I knew Levi wasn’t changing it on purpose, he was only trying to help, but I just couldn’t control my feelings. UGH! Great. More tears. What a great way to show my appreciation too, by yelling at my boyfriend. And better yet my arm was starting to hurt. I took my phone out of my pocket. I hadn’t talked to Armin in a while…maybe I just needed to vent. SHIT! I couldn’t he didn’t even know. Maybe I could just call and talk. 

 

“Hello?” 

“Hey.”

“Eren, what’s wrong?” He sounded concerned.

“Just emotional…I’m missing mom a lot today. Among other things.”

“Did you have a fight with Levi?” Wait…how??

“What? Well…it was sort of a one sided thing…”

“By one sided you mean you screamed at him and locked yourself up like you are famous for?” I sighed and shook my head. I knew he couldn’t see it, but still.

“Yeah…pretty much.” 

“Why are you pissed at him?” I frowned and pulled my legs up to my chest. 

“He just keeps buying me stuff…I feel guilty. He bought me a phone already. And a dresser. Now he wants to buy me all new clothes.” 

“He cares about you, Eren. And by the way you kissed him in the ER that night, the feeling is mutual.”

“WHAT?!” Armin snickered on the other line.

“You were a little…well a lot out of it. They gave you some medicine so they could set your wrist. Either way, it happened. Levi didn’t deny it.” I felt myself turning red. 

“Shit.” 

“So it’s true then?” I wanted to run, but I couldn’t exactly do that. The only other option was to hang up, and I really needed to talk to him.

“Yeah, it’s true. We’re dating. Well…we were. If I haven’t fucked it up too bad.”

“You haven’t Eren. He knows you are going through a rough time. And if not, then he doesn’t deserve you.” I felt my heart lift up a little. Armin really was sweet.

“So…you are okay with it then?” I picked up a stray band aid wrapper off of the floor and began playing with it. 

“Yeah, as long as you are happy. And about the current situation, Eren, stop being an ass to Levi. Let him help. He’s a sweet guy.” I frowned and tossed the wrapper in the trash. 

“When you act like that, there’s usually something else that’s bothering you. You need to talk it out with him and figure it out. Let him know how you feel.” I huffed at Armin, but I   
knew he was right. “He’s been there for you all this time, and he doesn’t deserve to be yelled at.” 

“Yeah, you are right. I’ll go apologize. Thanks, Armin.”

“No problem. I’m just a call away!” I hung up and headed out, as I turned the knob, Levi fell against me. He’d been sitting against the bathroom door. 

 

“Eren, I’m-“

 

“No! Listen…I’m sorry for being a brat.” I offered him a hand and pulled him to his feet. “You’ve done nothing but help me, and I yelled at you, and I’m sorry, and-mw-“ he silenced me by shoving his lips down on mine. I blinked a couple of times. When did it go from apology to kiss? His hands were around my waist, and he pulled me into a hug. The kiss didn’t nearly last long enough, and his head came up to rest closely on my shoulder.  
“Eren…listen. I’m sorry. I’m trying to change too many things at once. It was wrong.” My heart was aching again. I felt myself melt against him. He was so warm, and his arms were just so comforting. I leaned my head down against his and felt tears start again. Shit. Did I even have any left? “You can keep what you have, okay? If you ever want or need anything, just let me know.” I felt myself jerk and all of my embarrassment faded in the moment. I just needed to be closer. I just needed Levi. I moved my arms and wrapped them around his back and pulled him hard against me. I nuzzled his hair. I felt his arms tighten and he pressed a kiss to shoulder. 

“I-I bought a lot of those clothes with my mom. I don’t want to throw them away.” I felt his hand move to my hair and he nodded.

“I understand, Eren. You can keep them. You don’t have to throw any away.” 

“I’m sorry, Levi.” I breathed it into his hair. Into that undercut I loved so much. The longer strands were hiding my face, collecting my tears. “So so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” We just stood there for a while as I cried and we held each other, surrounded by my pile of clothes. I thought for a while why I cried. I really did need some new clothes after all…a lot of my pants didn’t fit anymore…As long as I didn’t have to throw them away. 

“Levi…we can go tomorrow…if you still want to.” He looked up from my shoulder and smiled. 

“Sure.” He wiped my tears away and captured my lips again. We spent the rest of the evening curled up on the couch under the big blanket, mindlessly watching anime and munching on popcorn. We left the pile of clothes on the floor where it was.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren go shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I had to update guys and this is bittersweet for me. I had a bit of a scare today. (not involving me) but involving a friend. Violence in a REAL thing. It's not a joke, and it's not a game. Abuse is real. Understand that. I don't take it lightly and please don't ever think that I do. Anyways I had to deal with a situation of domestic violence involving her. It was heartbreaking. She doesn't have a safe place to go to like Eren does. Here are some numbers guys. And if anyone has any other national numbers or any others that I can add, I will gladly edit and add them. Thanks <3 
> 
> National Domestic Violence Hotline  
> Staffed 24 hours a day by trained counselors who can provide crisis assistance and information about shelters, legal advocacy, health care centers, and counseling.
> 
> 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)  
> 1-800-787-3224 (TDD) 
> 
> The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)  
> 1-800-656-HOPE
> 
> Now onto the update! Enjoy!

The next day

Levi’s POV

I was ironing out the details of our shopping trip. It was Sunday, the day before Eren was supposed to go back to school. I was on the phone with Erwin, seeing if he would drop us off at the mall.

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Yeah, you’ve got a license, Levi. I trust you with my car. It’s just across town. I’m working a double today, so there won’t be any time for you guys to shop.” I sighed. I was laying on the bed waiting for Eren to finish his shower. 

“Only if you are sure!”

“Seriously. It’s fine!”

“Alright. We’ll drop by as soon as the brat is out of the shower.” I hung up and sat up on the bed just as Eren walked out of the bathroom.

“Managed to get your pants on by yourself today?” He blushed and looked away.

“These aren’t as tight…” I smirked and looked him over. Jeans and a green striped sweater. He looked cute. This must have been a Christmas or birthday gift, because the clothes actually fit right. 

“You ready to go brat? Erwin is lending us his car.” Eren’s eyes went wide and we headed downstairs, grabbed our coats, put on our shoes and went out the door. The day was chilly, and the wind blew a cold breeze as we walked. Eren huddled close to me. I couldn’t tell if his face was pink from the cold or from our proximity of each other. We arrived at the small park within a 10 minute walk. Erwin was waiting at the gate with his keys in his hands.

“Where is your funny hat Erwin?” I pointed to his head. He was wearing a baseball cap today with his uniform. 

“It’s being cleaned. So I have this.” I frowned. 

“I wanted Eren to see the funny hat.”

“It’s not funny! It’s a symbol for the park service!” I huffed and took the keys from him.

“Fine. Thanks Erwin. I’ll drop it off this evening.” I gave him a smile and he waved. 

“No problem! Don’t dress him in all black, Levi. Just because you like it doesn’t mean he needs to own all black as well!” he called after us.

“Tch.” We walked towards the spaces and found his car. I unlocked it and had to move the driver’s seat nearly all the way forward.

We eventually arrived at the mall and I looked around with a sigh. Way too many people.

“So what is your style Eren?” I looked him over as we looked at the entrances to a few stores. 

“I don’t really know… I didn’t know I had a style.” 

“Let’s just walk around. Let me know if anything catches your eye.” I felt him pull on my sleeve as we walked past American Eagle. “Seriously?”

“They’ve got jeans.” I smiled and he led me inside. 

“You do realize this is going to take forever unless I help you, right?” I said with a smirk. Eren was stuck on what size he actually was. A blush crept across his cheeks.

“M-Maybe we can just skip the jeans and-“

“No. We are already here.” I said with a grin. I walked over to the cashier. “We need a dressing room please.” She unlocked the larger room for us and I hung up the jeans inside. 

“Come on Eren.” He groaned and followed me inside.

“Are you really that embarrassed of me?” I whispered as I leaned against the wall. He unbuttoned his pants and began to wiggle out of them.

“No…it’s just…I don’t know…” He was avoiding my eyes. I took the first pair off of the hanger and put them down so he could step into them. I pulled them up. Woah. Way too big. Back down and onto the hanger. “I’m scared.” I hung the pants on the door knob and took the next ones off the hanger. He stepped into them and I pulled them up. They seemed to fit great, but they were too short. I zipped and button them just to make sure they fit just right. He blushed even harder.

“What are you scared of, Eren?”

“I don’t know…Just all the things everyone talks about. About how they treat…people.”

“You mean the public? About how they treat gays?” he nodded as I unbuttoned the pants and slid them down. “Eren, that’s something I’m not going to pressure you into. PDA at least. Walking side by side however and spending time with you, that’s something that’s going to happen.” I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “There are some crazy people out there. They don’t like us or believe that it’s okay to fall in love with whomever you want.” I picked up his pants off the floor and helped him step into them. “But, if you want to pursue that type of relationship with me, one with PDA, then I’ll protect you. I won’t let anyone lay a hand on you.” He was completely red now as I pulled the pants up and zipped them. “But I’m not going to push you away if that’s something you don’t want. It’s a lot of pressure to be in the public’s eye like that. But…it is a chance to have a ‘normal’ relationship. Like what most couples have. You don’t have to hide everything you do and constantly live in fear.” He stayed silent for a minute and stared into my eyes. 

“I-I trust you, Levi…I want those things.” I smiled and moved to press a kiss on his cheek. “Just…move slowly please.” He began changing back into his regular pants. 

“Of course.” I picked up the pants and unlocked the door. “And, now we know your size!” he blushed a shade redder, and followed me outside. “We just need a little longer. You are so tall.” I frowned as I looked up at him. He had a good 6 inches of height difference on me already, and he still had a bit of growing to do.  
We stocked up on jeans while we were there, grabbing at least 5 new pairs. Eren looked like he was going to have a stroke as he looked at the price tag.

“Levi, really, a couple are fine!” He tried to take the jeans out of my arms but I pulled back.

“Just-let me, Eren.” He sighed and stepped back.

“Alright…” We walked by the button ups.

“Hmmm…how about a couple of these? You need a couple of dressy things. Everyone does.” He gave me a nod and picked out a black one and a light green.” I pointed to the wall next to us. “Sweaters.” He frowned. 

“Levi!” 

“Pick. Now. Or I’ll go grab the pink one from the women’s for you.” He gave me a terrified look and grabbed the grey striped sweater. I paused at the underwear and his face was going red again. 

“L-Levi….this is just…too much.” 

“Well, I’ll be happy to pick these out for you then.” I said with a smirk as I looked through the rack. “It’ll give me something to look forward to.” I muttered. I heard him groan. 

“Fine! These! I like these…this size…” I smirked as he started picking them off of the rack with a red face. 

“That wasn’t so hard. Grab some socks and we’re done in here.” The total almost made Eren faint, but I reminded him it was my asshole parent’s money. I swung the bag in my hand freely, feeling the satisfying weight of new clothes. Well it was a start at least. We dropped the first bag off in Erwin’s car and ventured back inside. I decided to tempt my luck by the entrance and captured Eren’s free hand with my own. I heard him whimper and shoot a look at me, but then he looked away and squeezed it. 

“Are you really okay with this?” I asked as I got a little closer together, to hide our hands a bit. 

“Y-Yeah. This isn’t so bad. Normal couples do it, right.” I smiled at him and nodded.

“Yeah.” I gave his hand a squeeze and I felt my own heart flutter. This damn brat. “So where to next?” The mall was swarming with people now, it nearly made my stomach churn, but I was doing this for Eren. 

“Eren!” I heard someone call his name and run up to us. His eyes went wide and the boy froze in front of us, but so did Eren. His hand didn’t move from mine…well besides the fact that he had a death grip on it.

“Hey Jean…”

“Where have you been? You’ve missed like two weeks of school? Armin said you’d been in an accident.” 

“I-I ugh…well yeah.” Eren held up his wrist so Jean could see his cast. “My nose was broken too…”

“Shit! When are you coming back?” 

“Tomorrow hopefully…”

“Okay, well…umm if you need anything just text me. Or call! Whatever!” He gave us an odd glance and waved. Eren gave him a smile and nodded and the boy walked off to join the friend he’d left. Some short kid with a shaved head. They turned back around to stare at us and Eren whimpered again. 

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” 

“Eren…What just happened?” He was frowning and frozen in place. 

“Can we sit for a minute, Levi?” We made our way to one of the benches off to the side and Eren leaned against me. “That was Jean…he’s my friend from school. Well obviously he   
saw us and I don’t think that he would mind so much and that’s not the problem…” I leaned over to listen to his words. “But the other guy he’s with, Connie is kind of a loud mouth. So, I’m probably screwed. Everyone will probably know by tomorrow. I just don’t know if I was ready to come back to school with all that or not.”

“Shit, I’m sorry!”

“No! It’s fine. I like to hold your hand…it’s really warm and…I just…I don’t understand why people have to make such a big deal out of it.” I frowned at him. 

“People are just jerks Eren. Anything different, they lash out against.”

“Just like with art?” I smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

“Exactly. When they don’t understand something, they lash out against it.” He nodded and stood up, then grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet.

“Well! Let’s go then. I’m over it. What happens, happens, right?” I smiled at him. He was determined. 

“If you are sure you’re alright, yeah.” I said with a chuckle. He began pulling me full steam ahead through the mall. Well this suddenly took a turn I wasn’t expecting. Being drug through the mall, drawing loads of attention to ourselves by my embarrassed boyfriend. Definitely a way to play it cool, Eren. 

“Look! Black Butler!” I felt my arm jerk as he yanked me into a store with thumping music. 

“OW! Oh Hot topic.” I said with a smirk. “Calm down, Eren. Your face is the color of Sebastian’s eyes.” 

“You’ve watched Black Butler?!” 

“Both seasons. Sebastian is sexy.” I said with a grin.

“LEVI!” Eren let my hand drop and I quickly grabbed his again. “But not as sexy as you.” I whispered in his ear. “It’s just an anime crush.” 

“Well…I like Ceil!” I grinned as we looked at the t-shirts. 

“Do you? Surely not more than Sebastian?” 

“Well…not really…but that’s not the point!” I snickered and pointed up at the top. 

“They have Death Note too. This is really bad for us, kid.” The cashier walked up to us, she had blue hair and Eren’s eyes went wide. 

“Can I help you find anything? The whole store is buy one get one half off!”

“I like your hair!”

“Thanks! Nice eyes!” She said with a wink. I frowned. And gripped his hand tighter. “That one is cute too! He looks like a keeper!” she said with a smile as she motioned in my direction. Eren’s face lit up a shade of red I didn’t know existed. I’m sure I would never even be able to mix it with my paints if I tried. She walked back to her register. 

“Alright Eren, get a basket. I can tell you are fangirling.” 

“YAY!! THANK YOU!!!!” He gave me a hug and immediately whimpered when he realized what he’d done. A blush crept across my own cheeks. Damn brat. He was so cute. I grabbed a Sebastian t-shirt in a medium and Eren got one with Sebastian and Ciel on it in a large.

“You are so tiny, Levi.” He was pondering the Death Note t-shirt.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” 

“I think it’s cute.”

“At least I don’t hit my head on stuff!” I sneered. 

“True!” Eren said with a smile. “OOH! We need to watch this one, Levi!” Eren pointed to the Sword Art Online T-shirt hanging on the wall. “I’ve heard really good reviews!”

“Sure! How about this weekend?” 

“Yes! It’s a d- umm it’s a plan. We’ll watch it! Together!” He picked up the death note shirt and threw it in the basket. He still couldn’t bring himself to say the word date? I smiled and shook my head as his face began turning red again. I looked at the lanyards and suddenly remembered…shit. I needed to get Eren a key made. “What about this Levi?”

“That’s a woman’s hoodie, Eren.” He frowned as he looked at it on the rack. 

“But…I like it.” I raised my eyebrow as I looked at him. His jacket was looking pretty worn out. I shrugged. 

“If it’ll fit. Go for it.” I said with a smile. He tried it on, being careful of his cast, and sure enough, it zipped right up. Oh…good choice. It did look nice on him. He unzipped it and handed it to me to put it in the basket.

“OH, WHAT ARE THOSE?!” He was like a kid in a candy store.

“Have you really never been in here before?” 

“Mom always thought it was scary….” He had a pair of tripp pants in his hands. “These look really baggy though. But these!” He picked up the ones on the other rack.

“Eren! Calm down. Are you seriously going to-“ 

“Can I try these on!” He asked the cashier frantically. Oh my god. “Levi! Will you help?!” Dear lord…where the hell did his embarrassment go? Apparently out the door when he   
picked up that pair of women’s pants. She unlocked the door for us.

“Keep it PG you two! Ha, just kidding!” I felt my face flush and I followed Eren inside.

“Those are-“

“I know! I just want to try!” I hadn’t seen him this excited for a while. Probably since we were in the museums. 

“Fine! They don’t have as much room you know.” He slipped out of his jeans and I helped him pull on the pants. The chains jingled as I pulled them up. 

“They are heavy.”

“Duh. They have chains.” I said with a grin. I pulled them up over his ass and went to zip them. Oh wow…they made his ass look really good… Oops. I stared too long. “Sorry!” I went to work zipping and buttoning the front. He had a deep blush across his cheeks. “Well?” 

“They are really comfy actually…” We both looked in the mirror and surprisingly, they looked fantastic on him. “Does that make me weird?” He gave me an odd look, something lined with a bit of fear. 

“No. Absolutely not. Be yourself, Eren. If you like them, then we’ll get them.” I saw his head drop and he frowned a little. “Hey, don’t look so sad. You were happy about them a minute ago.” I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

“I…I feel weird. Like this is really different. You think people will stare?” I smiled softly at him.

“Fuck them if they do. You can wear heels and a mini skirt for all I care, if it makes you happy.” He blushed at the thought and pressed his face into my chest.

“Levi…”

“I think you look fantastic, and you really like them, so the choice is yours. Hell, your ass looks so good, you can have two or three pairs if you want.” I joked. His face lit up even more.

“O-Okay. I’ll get them I guess.” I undid the pants and he changed into his regular jeans. We actually did stop at the rack and pick up a second pair of the pants. This pair was the same size, just a different variation. More straps and buckles than chains. We added a belt to the mix, god forbid his heavy pants fall down. 

Another astounding total, but this time, Eren didn’t panic. He thanked the cashier kindly and held my hand as we walked out of the store. 

“Thanks again, Levi. I really appreciate it. Oh look! A bookstore! Do you wanna go-“

“UGH NO! Let’s grab lunch!” I tugged him away from the store and we practically ran to the food court. Shit. Not yet. It’s not like I liked keeping secrets from Eren…but I didn’t know if he could handle THAT particular one yet…Not when our relationship was still fresh like this. 

We sat over our chicken sandwiches and fries and ate happily. 

“Waffle fries are the best!” He said with a grin.

“We disagree there, Jaeger.” I said with a smile. “Curly fries are the way to go!” He huffed and chomped down on a fry. We finished up our meal and left the mall. Just one place left to go I supposed.

 

We hit the local Superstore and walked quickly to get inside. When had it turned so cold? 

“What do we need to get here?” Eren questioned as we walked. 

“We need to stock up on stuff for school. You need a new backpack right?” He frowned. 

“Yeah…I had forgotten about that.” I pulled a cart out of the line and we made our way to the school supplies. “Oh! Look.” 

“Levi, what is it with you and turquoise lately?” He groaned as I held the scarf and glove set in my hands. Had I really been that obsessed with it? 

“Fine. What color then brat?” I threw the turquoise one in the cart and he looked through the rack, deciding on plain grey. “So boring…”

“I like grey!” He shouted. I smiled and ruffled his hair. 

“No need to be so defensive. They are just colors, right?” We finally made it to the school supplies and I began pitching everything into the cart I thought he (or I) would need. Pencils, paper, notebooks, calculator.

“That calculator is $80!!!” I shrugged.

“You can put games on it. That’s what I did with mine in High School. I had Mario.”

“That’s not going to help me!”

“Fair enough.” I put it back and decided on the $10 one instead. We finally arrived at the backpacks. “Pick one.” He frowned until his eyes landed on a messenger bag and he picked it up. It was green and black. 

“Will it hold everything?”

“Yeah.”

“Awesome. Three more things, then we are getting the hell out of here. I’m tired of dealing with the public.” Tomorrow meant back to school for Eren and back to work and class for me. Ugh. I stopped in hardware and had Eren a key made. He watched as the machine cut it, and frowned as I shoved it in my pocket. “Not yet brat. Be patient.” The next stop was to pick up a couple of storage bins. They were turquoise of course to match the new décor of my apartment. The last stop was in the art department to get some leather cord.

 

We dropped Erwin’s car off and somehow managed to carry all of our bags home. We both collapsed onto the couch and Eren dropped his head onto my lap.

“Where are all the pillows?” He groaned into my leg. 

“Buried under all the bags.” 

“UGHHH.” My fingers found his hair and I began combing my hand through. “I don’t want to go to school tomorrow…” 

“I know.” I said as I kept up my movements. I turned on the Xbox to YouTube and found our regular playlist. Mostly original soundtracks from the anime we had watched together. The music began echoing through the house. “Just stay strong Eren. You can do it. Hanji and I will be waiting for you in the studio as usual.” He sighed into my leg and nodded.

“Okay. Only if you promise.”

“I promise.” 

“That’ll be enough to get me through then.”

“Okay, let’s get this stuff put up then.” He groaned and grabbed a bag of clothes, following me up the stairs. I had pretty much tried to carry everything. Two totes filled with the rest of the clothes and I was struggling a bit, but I wouldn’t be defeated! “HA! Made it!” I slammed them down on the top steps.

“You can put the clothes you don’t want to wear in the totes. We will store them in that corner. Okay?” He nodded with a smile and looked at the pile in the floor.

“Sorry about the mess. I know your apartment is usually-“

“It’s fine! Just get started!” I began unpacking his new clothes and putting them in the dresser. The majority of his old clothes ended up in the bins. Finally, the last trash bag was torn into, and I heard a sob rip through him. I turned around to see Eren gripping the picture of his mom close to his chest. Shit. “Eren!” I dropped to my knees and pulled him close, the picture sandwiched in between us. So that’s where Erwin had put it for safe keeping? 

“S-Sorry, I-I just-“

“Shhh It’s okay.” I pulled him closer. He was an emotional wreck lately. I longed for the day that he would be happy, that maybe we could go through a day or two where he would be tear free. But I understood the hurt was still fresh. That he didn’t really have a safe place to grieve before. He had too much on his plate at his other home, and who knew if he could even cry with his father around. I felt his grip tighten on the picture. 

“I miss her so much! I just want to hear her voice, Levi! I-I!” He was gripping my shirt against my side, crying into my shoulder.

“I know. I know. I’m sorry Eren.” I pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek and he whimpered. “I’m gonna tell you something that Erwin told me, okay? It may help, it may not. It was sort of my moment of realization after my Nana’s death.” He jerked against me when he heard the word. “Erwin told me that she wouldn’t want to see me miserable. She wants me to be happy, and I truly believe that. Sure it’s perfectly fine to be sad and I will always be here for you. No matter what. But would your mom want you to be so sad all of the time? Or would she want you living life to the fullest and enjoying it? Trying to remember the good times you had with her?” He jerked against me again.

“L-Leviii!” I rubbed his back. “Y-You’re right. But it’s so hard.” 

“I know. It’s the toughest thing you can go through I think.” I felt his sobs ease a little and he pulled back to look at me. “But we’ve got each other now Eren. We don’t have to be alone in this.” I wiped his tears away and he nodded. I nuzzled his cheek with my own, still feeling the leftover moisture. “How about we put it on the dresser? Yeah?” He blinked a couple of times and handed the picture to me. I sat it up on the dresser and new tears welled up. 

“Levi…You…you…are…” I smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. 

“I’m crazy about you, Eren.” He swallowed hard as I pulled away. We slowly finished packing away the rest of his things and after tackling the mess in the living room, we were both exhausted. His bag was packed for school and we collapsed together on the bed.

“Levi…Thanks for being so nice to me.” I smiled and pulled him under the covers with me. 

“It’s supposed to be that way, but you are welcome. Sweet dreams, brat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Hoodie:  
> http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Girls/TopRated/Royal+Bones+Corset+Girls+Hoodie-10167771.jsp
> 
> The Pants:  
> http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Brands/Tripp/Tripp+Black+And+Red+Lace-Up+Chain+Pants-10163086.jsp


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren returns to school!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a SUPER long chapter! WOW. :3  
> Also here is my tumblr if anyone is interested.
> 
> http://xxdeja-uchihaxx.tumblr.com/
> 
> I'm going to try to update my tumblr more often :3 . We'll see how that goes! :D  
> As always comments make my world go round! Phew...this one drained me to re-read and edit. o.o It was a tough one! Sorry if i rambled any! <3  
> Thanks Loves <333
> 
> *** Added (after) note~ I'm eliminating the whole gun idea later on if that idea doesn't appeal to you, so don't stop reading if that isn't your thing! Just hang in there! :)

Eren’s POV 

“Ugh what time is it” Was that even my alarm? No it was Levi’s screaming this ungodly hour. 

“Go back to sleep for a while brat, it’s still early.” I felt him place a kiss to my forehead and I cracked my eyes open. I groaned and reach for him. No. It was hard to sleep without him now. “I need to get up Eren. If I don’t get moving, my whole day will be thrown off.” I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes. 

“What time is it?” He stood up and stretched, being illuminated by the blue of my nightlight.

“It’s 4:30.”

“Why so early?!”

“I need to clean. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are cleaning days.” My eye twitched. 

“Y-You wake up early to clean?!” 

“Now that things are back to normal. Yes.” He turned on the light and bathed the room in a warm glow. It wasn’t even daylight outside. “And now that you are awake you can help. Or you can go back to sleep. Either one.” My eyes adjusted to the light and I saw him digging through his nightstand. He pulled out a black bandana and he tied it over his head, covering his hair. I swung my legs over the bed and stretched.

“Can you make me coffee first?” I begged. I followed him like a zombie down the stairs and watched as he popped the single serve cup in the machine after pouring the water in.  
He added cream and sugar once it was done and just a little drizzle of caramel. I smiled and took a sip. So good.

“Okay. So how about you take the living room?” I nodded and looked over at the empty looking space. Levi turned all of the lights on in the house and started up the music on the TV. “Just shake out the cushions, dust, sweep, and mop. Oh wait.” He looked at my arm. “You can’t sweep or mop…Just wipe everything down after you’ve dusted with the Clorox wipes.”

“Everything?!” 

“Just the tables.” I sighed and walked over to him. He was standing by the closet that I hadn’t really noticed much before. The one he kept the throw blankets in. Oh. My. God. Labels. Everything. Everywhere. I felt my eyes go wide and my mouth dropped open. “Eren…you don’t think I’m crazy as well don’t you? Hanji and Erwin always make fun of me for it…”

“No! It’s just…surprising? Everything is so organized.” I said with a smile. I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I won’t have trouble finding anything!” he gave me a faint smile and nodded. “But if I run into a problem with a stain or something, you may have to help me. I don’t know a lot about cleaning. Just the basics.” His eyes lit up.

“Definitely! Any questions! There’s actually a guide on the inside of the door…” He showed me his list. “But I’d prefer you to ask me actually so I can teach you!” I smiled and nodded. “Well here’s the duster. The wipes are there. Go to town! I’ll be in the kitchen.” He grabbed a handful of supplies and slipped on some rubber gloves. So what if he was a little…odd? So was I. We were a good match.

I picked up the duster and the wipes and carried them into the living room. The hardwoods creaked below my feet, and not-surprisingly, not a single thing fell out of the couch when I shook out the cushions. A few crumbs were in the chair, my guess was from Hanji a few days ago. I dusted everything in sight. There weren’t any pictures on the wall, no bookshelves surprisingly. Just the entertainment center the TV was placed on and a small table by the door for keys. Oh yeah…I didn’t have my key yet! 

“Levi…You never gave me the key.”

“Well you are the one who decided to get up ahead of time. I was going to surprise you with it before you left. You’ll have to wait until the cleaning is done.” He said as he scrubbed the island. 

“Okay!” I carefully dusted between the console and the TV stand. There were a few anime DVD’s that I carefully went over with the duster as well. I went over my work (except the console and DVD’s) with the wipes. I moved on to the table by the door, doing the same thing, cleaning up with the wipes after. 

“I’m done!” I felt triumphant. I had defeated the living room! Levi frowned. He was still working on the kitchen.

“It took you 10 minutes…” he sounded annoyed. He threw his sponge in the sink and walked over to me. He took one look at the entertainment center and gave me a sharp look as he pointed at it. 

“Do it over.”

“But-“

“Please.” He added with a strained smile. “Or I will. Either way.” He reach for the duster and I took a step back. 

“Show me what I did wrong.” 

 

20 minutes later after a lecture on ‘How to properly clean a glass surface.’ I had finally gotten it down pat. 

“You’ll just have to teach me then. How about that. Completely from scratch! It’ll be a pain, but that will be the only way I can be up to your standards of cleaning.”

“Eren…”

“If you want to teach me. I’m willing to learn!”

“Sure. If you don’t mind waking up…”

“I don’t mind if it’s with you!” Levi smiled and leaned down to kiss me. 

“Then you’ll be my apprentice, Jaeger.” He said with a grin. “I’ll show you how to properly sweep once that wrist is in better shape. Go ahead and get ready for school.” I drug myself upstairs and sorted through my dresser. Mom was smiling at me from atop it, and I couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Good Morning…” It was out of my mouth before I could stop it. Ugh. Not like you’d even answer. I picked out the Tripp pants as Levi had called them from yesterday, along with the black butler t-shirt and made my way into the bathroom. My shower took longer than usual. I had a lot on my mind and I just wanted to wash the thoughts away. I had a bad feeling about today…

“Eren, you okay?!”

“Yeah! I’ll be out in a few!” I finished up quickly, well as quickly as I could with a broken wrist. I threw on my underwear and struggled into my pants, but somehow managed to  
get them on and zipped. They did fit a lot different than my regular pants, but I still liked them. I gave my hair a quick comb, brushed my teeth and left the bathroom. 

Levi was downstairs in the kitchen. His cleaning supplies were put away for the moment and he was leaned over the stove, flipping something. 

“You have time to eat right?” 

“Yeah.” He flipped the omelet onto a plate and set it in front of me. I smiled as he handed me a fork. “Thanks!” he nodded and went to work on his own. I bit into it and I was overcame with joy! I didn’t think eggs could taste so good.

“You look like you are enjoying that a little too much Eren…” Levi said with a smirk. I choked and my forked clattered to my plate. “Woah! Calm down.” He finished up his omelet and set beside me at the island. 

“This is nice…” I said with a smile, before sipping my juice. “I haven’t gotten to eat breakfast like this in a while.” I felt his fingers in my hair as he rubbed my head.

“Well, we will try to keep this up then. I like it too. It’s nice to start off my day with you smiling like that. It doesn’t seem as shitty.” 

“Really?!” 

“Sure.” He bit into his own omelet and looked at his phone for the time. “We obviously had plenty of time today. We just have to wake up a little earlier on Tuesday and Thursday.  
We’ll just skip the cleaning those days.”

“Sounds great.” I felt my heart flutter. Is this what true happiness really felt like? Waking up to breakfast with the one you really trusted your heart to? He finished off the last piece of egg and took both of our plates to the sink. 

“I’m going to get in the shower. Wait up for me okay. I have that present for you.” I nodded and played with my phone as I waited for Levi to come out. I had a couple of unread messages. That was odd. This early?

**Mikasa: (2) Eren. What were you doing at the mall yesterday?!**  
 **I got the pictures! EREN!!! THIS IS BAD!**

**Armin: Shit. News is out dude. Sorry. Everyone knows about you and Levi. It’s all over facebook.**

Facebook? What were they talking about? I hadn’t really been logged in, in the last few days except to check my messenger app. I frowned and pulled up my news feed. SHIT. I slammed my head down on the island. I had been tagged in 2 pictures. One was with me and one other. That other was Jean Kirstein. But he hadn’t tagged the picture. It was none other than Connie fucking Springer. He had taken the picture while I was talking to Jean at the mall, holding Levi’s hand.  
 **The caption. ‘Guess who bats for the other team?!’**  
The second photo was snapped at precisely the WRONG moment. Right when I hugged Levi in Hot topic. He must have been sneaking around the mall. UGH. What an ass.

“Eren-“ I jumped at the words. “What’s wrong?” I reach Levi my phone and I watched his face. I never thought I could see someone with so little emotion change from stoic, to confused, to pissed to murderous in a matter of seconds. “Who is this kid? I’m going to rip his fucking-“

“Levi…” I took a deep breath and took my phone back. I began to read through the comments. The damage had already been done.  
 **Jean: Connie! Take this down! You didn’t have Eren’s consent to take this picture.**  
 **Connie: That’s the point horse-face.**

Well, at least Jean was on my side.

The comments that followed ranged from sweet and supportive to out of control, to just plain derogatory. 

“Eren, look at me. No matter what anyone says.” He lifted up my chin and I stared into those warm grey eyes. “We have each other to come home to. They don’t. Keep that in mind okay. Just stay calm, and move on.” He slid something over my head and it dropped down around my neck. I felt the necklace hanging low and felt the key in my fingers. 

“Levi…What…when did you?” I looked down. The simple leather cord he had bought was now elegantly braided and wrapped together perfectly. The key was hanging in the center. 

“When I had time.” He winked at me. “That way you won’t lose it, brat.” He leaned our heads together and I just wanted to break down right there. I was terrified. I was lonely. I was fulfilled. I was happy. I was sad. All at the same time. I wanted to talk. I wanted to stay quiet. I wanted to hide, and yet…I wanted to be out in the open…I didn’t know how to function without him. I knew one thing was for sure though.

“I’m nervous…”

“Things will work out. Trust me. I’m only a call away. You know how close I am to you. It’s like a 5 minute walk. A 2 minute run, if I go fast enough.” I nodded and most of my fears were swept away with his kiss, deep and caring, caressing every inch of my mouth gently, pushing every ounce of doubt out of me. “I usually get my way, remember, Eren?” 

My face was hot when we pulled apart and I could only nod. He pulled me to my feet and I slid on my new hoodie and scarf. “Damn. You are hot.” I felt his eyes on me and my face was on fire.

“Levi!” 

“What?! Am I not allowed to look? It’s not like I’m touching…” He craned his neck around to get a better view. He was putting on his scarf and glove set now. It was odd seeing him with so much color on. Sure he had his usual black on black underneath, but the turquoise really did look great.

“LEVI!!!” He grinned and opened the door for me, letting me go ahead of him.

“Ha. Not bad Jaeger.” I heard the door click behind us, and that overwhelming sense of doom overcame me again. I felt him close to me as we walked and the warmth was welcomed. It’s not like we had anything to hide anymore, right? I reach down and grabbed his hand. “Hmmm….” He smiled at me and closed a gloved hand over my own.  
We made it to the craft store sooner than I really wanted to. I frowned as I looked at the familiar sign out front. 

“I’ll see you after school, Eren.” He let go of my hand. “This is one place where…they don’t tolerate it.” He frowned. “Unfortunately. I should just quit. It’s not like I need to work here.”

“Why do you then?” he shrugged.

“We’ll talk about it later. Have a good day.” He waved to me and I waved back. “If you need me call or text! I have my phone!” 

 

Everyone’s eyes were on me. Everyone’s. Mikasa was at my side instantly.

“Eren, what was-“

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But-“ I sighed and fumbled with the combination on my locker. Was it a 4 or a 14? It had been a while….

“I’ll tell you at lunch, Okay? You and Armin. Right now I just need to make it to class without having a stroke. Everyone is watching me. It’s hard enough with this fucking cast on my hand.”

“Jaeger! Watch the language!” A teacher called out. Dumb bitch. Oops. I finally got my locker open and dropped the unnecessary weight from my bag. I ignored people’s whispers  
about me for the most part. I heard jokes all day. I texted Levi behind my books.

**To Levi: They are saying rude jokes about me.**

**Levi: Well, at least it’s not worse. Just remember what I said. We will draw together this afternoon. I told Hanji to skip the math today for an art day.**

That made my heart skip. We’d all be drawing together?! 1st and 2nd period passed okay without much conflict, and then came lunch. I sat in the corner with Mikasa and Armin at an empty table.

“So what’s going on Eren?” Mikasa questioned.

“Well…” I groaned. This was humiliating. “Levi took me to get new clothes. And he mentioned that…maybe…we should act like a normal couple…and it sounded nice.” I was frowning. “I just want to be happy like everyone else guys.” I pouted and pushed my tray away. The thought of food sounded disgusting. “So we held hands a little as we walked around. I didn’t think anyone would see us.” I looked at my cast and sighed.

“Eren…that’s so….sad.” 

“Yeah…And then he took me to Hot topic and I got excited over the anime shirts. He said I could get what I wanted…so I hugged him…You know how I get over anime.”

“You fan girl over it.” Armin added.

“Shut up!” I was blushing now and buried my face into my arms. “Well Levi likes it too…” I heard footsteps beside me and looked up just in time to see Jean sit down beside me.

“Hey, Eren…”

“Hey.” 

“I’m really sorry about everything…”

“It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not. It’s really not okay.” He said with a frown. “That was complete bullshit of Connie to do that. And I want to punch his face in for it. I just need the word.” I blinked a  
couple of times.

“You don’t have to-“

“Really Eren. I do. He pissed me off too. He’s been saying stuff all day that’s been-“

“LOOK!” Connie’s voice echoed throughout the entire lunchroom as he walked up behind our table. 

“Shit.” Jean cursed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“It’s the faggot himself. Have you sucked a cock yet faggot or-“ Jean gave me a single look and I saw a flame of desperation in his eyes. He flinched at the word the first time. I swear I saw it. And the second time he stood up and knocked Connie straight back into the wall! My eyes went wide.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Jean screamed. OH SHIT. He Jumped on top of Connie and the two started going at it. Jean managed to get a few good punches in before a teacher pulled him off. Connie must have landed a couple as well because they were both bleeding. What just happened?

“Kirstein, Springer, OFFICE!” I blinked a couple of times and returned my gaze to Mikasa and Armin. They looked as stunned as me. I pulled my phone out.

**To Levi: Jean just stood up for me. Beat the shit out of Connie Springer at lunch for calling me a…**

My fingers paused over the letters. It hung in the air. That word was just so…blunt. So sharp. The only point of it was to hurt. 

**He called me a Faggot. Then Jean kicked his ass.**

I sent the messages and got an almost immediate response back.

**Levi: That guy is a piece of work. He deserved what he got. Jean is a good guy. He’s a true friend Eren. Keep him around. Thank him later. Especially for me.**

I definitely would.

“Eren Jaeger to the office. Eren Jaeger to the office.” Shit. That’s just great. I gave Mikasa and Armin a terrified look and they tried to give me soft smiled. I stuffed my phone in my pocket and walked down the hallway to my impending doom. 

“Eren Jaeger?”

“Yes Sir?” Principal Shadis was a creepy guy in every sense. You didn’t want to piss him off. I walked into his office and Connie was sitting in one chair, with an ice pack on his face, completely silent, and Jean was in the other. 

“These men tell me this incident was based around a certain event that happened yesterday. Is that true?” I sighed.

“Yes, sir.” I felt my face turning red. I was mortified. 

“Would you care to enlighten me, Jaeger?” I felt a shiver run through me.

“Not really sir.” Jean snickered from his seat.

“I MEANT-TELL ME. NOW.” I swallowed hard. 

“Yes, sir.” I shot a glance over to Jean. He had bruises forming on his jaw and face now. “I ugh…I was going shopping for clothes sir….w-with someone…with my my boyfriend.” I mumbled the words so low, that I could barely hear them myself. 

“SPEAK UP JAEGER!”

“I was with my boyfriend at the mall Sunday sir!” Connie snorted.

“Do you think this is a JOKE Jaeger?”

“N-No sir!” My heart was pounding. “I’m being serious! We were there! We were holding hands, Jean approached us!” 

“Is this true Kirstein?!” He growled. 

“Yes sir.” Jean grumbled. “That’s when that asshole took the first picture!” Jean hissed. Connie stuck out his tongue. 

“HEY! QUIET!” They both shut up and I felt my fingers trembling. “The pictures. Show me.” My face went red and I flipped through my phone. “Does he go here?”

“N-No sir.” He squinted at the photo. 

“How old is he Jaeger? He’s not the same age.” I felt my stomach drop. Shit. I didn’t know his age. HOW COULD I NOT KNOW?! We hadn’t talked about it?!?!

“I ugh…I’m not sure…He’s a sophomore at Trost Univeristy.” He squinted his eyes. 

“And you are?”

“Seventeen….sir.”

“Exactly.” I took a breath to steady myself. “He’s at least 20 Jaeger. If not older.” I nodded in understanding. “I suggest you separate yourself from this man from the time being, until you are 18, or I will have to intervene and call your father.” My eyes went wide. That’s right. He had no idea. 

“Y-Yes sir.” 

“As for you two. Connie Springer, what YOU did is an act of discrimination. I suggest you stop before you wind up in jail for a hate crime. You are suspended for 5 days. Jean Kirstein, What YOU did was just plain assault. You also get 5 days. Jean snorted. Connie had definitely got the worse end of the beating. Eren, you are dismissed early for the day. I don’t want to see any of you in my school today. Out. 

“Yes, sir.” We answered in unison and walked out of the office. Connie darted off. I walked out with Jean. 

 

The wind was cold against my face as we walked to nowhere in particular.

“Want something to eat?” I offered Jean.

“What?! I just got suspended and you want to get lunch?” I shrugged. 

“I owe you. It’s my fault in the first place. I’m really sorry about everything. Thank for standing up for me.”

“No, it was Connie’s fault. He’s an asshole. And I wasn’t just standing up for you. There’s other people in that school that get offended by that word so…” I nodded and I paused as we neared the craft store. 

“Care if I run inside?” 

“Seriously Jaeger?” Jean gave me an annoyed look.

“It’s not like you have anything better to do now! 5 day vacation!” he snorted and followed me inside. 

“Welcome to-Shit. Look what the cat dragged in.”

“What a way to greet us.” Jean said with a grin. Levi was leaned across the counter, with a book in his hand. 

“So I take it that things didn’t end well?” Levi said as he kept shifting glances between me and Jean.

“Not really…I got called into the office too. Principal Shadis made me tell him why I was at the mall Sunday and I had to show him the pictures that got the whole thing started.”

“Shit. I bet that went real well.”

“He said you looked old.” I saw Levi’s eye twitch for a second and the spine of the book bent.

“Did he? Where does this guy live again?!”

“No! No I meant…for me I guess…He warned me. He said that you were too old for me to be dating you. Said I needed to break it off until I turned 18 or he would call my dad.” Levi frown and set his book aside.

“Well that’s an interesting development. I’m glad he cares about your well-being now…”

“Levi…” I ran my hand over my wrist with a worried look. “Anyways, he was full of shit. I’m not doing anything. He can kiss my ass.”

“No he can’t actually. That’s mine.” Levi said with a smirk as he leaned over the counter to catch a glimpse. “Damn those pants.” Jean pinched his nose. “But at any rate, I’m glad. It’s nice that you wouldn’t let your principal break us up Eren.” He said with a smile. 

“So yeah. He gave me the rest of the day off. Jean and Connie got suspended for 5 plus the rest of today.”

“Damn. When I used to get in fights, you got like one day. Maybe. Things are different now.”

“You are old apparently.” I teased. Jean’s phone rang and he picked it up.

“Yes Mom…I know…I KNOW. I’m getting something to eat and I’ll be home.” He walked outside. 

“Sneak me a kiss Jaeger.” My eyes went wide. Levi looked around, making sure the coast was clear and he pulled me up to him by my scarf. It was nothing more than a gentle kiss, but it made me feel better about my day. It calmed me down from head to toe. We pulled apart quickly. He was smiling and reach into his pocket. “Here, take your friend out.” He reach me his debit card and I frowned. I already had a $10 that he had given me a few days ago. 

“I have some-“ 

“Go somewhere nice. Applebee’s or something. I don’t care. Have a good time. The kid just got punched in the face for you. At least by him some mozzarella sticks. Just be careful.” I smiled and took the card.

“Thanks Levi!” He waved as I walked off. “I’ll see you at the studio!” 

I walked outside just in time to see Jean hang up the phone. 

“Where do you want to eat? Anywhere is fine.”

“Can you afford that Jaeger?” Jean scoffed as we began walking again. 

“No, but Levi can. And he was nice enough to pay for you.” Jean blinked a couple of times.

“O-Oh okay. Wow. That was nice. Anywhere is fine. How about Chili’s? It’s not too far…”

 

Levi’s POV

“Levi...go ahead and count down your drawer.” I narrowed my eyes at Petra. She looked nervous. 

“Are my hours getting cut today? I don’t leave until 2:30”

“Just…do as I say.” 

“Tch.” I took out my drawer and took it to the back and counted it down in the office. I balanced it out to $150 just as I usually did and walked back up front with it.

“Levi…you know the owner is in today right?”

“And?” Like that was supposed to impress me? I still did my job. 

“He was watching the cameras Levi. He has strict policies. If it were just me…then…maybe things would be different.” Wait…

“What are you talking about?”

“He saw you kiss that boy!” Petra whispered. Shit. Of course he did. “I’m sorry Levi, he told me to let you go.” I frowned and took my name badge off and handed it to her. 

“Thanks Petra. You’ve been great. This whole store has actually. Can I talk to him before I go?” 

“N-No Levi, that’s not a good-“ I was already walking. He was looking at a spring endcap that the morning manager had set. 

“Hi sir, just wanted to say thanks!” He shot me a glare. “Thanks for hiring me at this shitty store! Because if it wasn’t for you SIR! I wouldn’t have met that hot piece of ass that’s my current boyfriend now!” I said with a wink. Homophobic piece of shit. His mouth dropped opened and I smirked and made my way to the door. Well…guess it’ll be a while before I’ll be allowed back in here. Good thing I had a cute brunette that knew exactly what art supplies I needed if I wrote them down. 

 

Later that Day

Eren’s POV

The studio was transformed. There was plastic everywhere. And stacks of paper too. Big sheets and small sheets stacked on the usual drawing table. Levi was already waiting for  
me when I arrived. He threw an apron over my head and tied a bandana around my hair, just like he did his when he cleaned. We practically matched. Hanji bounced around the room, making the plastic crinkle beneath her feet.

“What’s going on, Levi. I thought we were drawing?”

“We were going to…”

“Vent art Eren! VENT ART!” Hanji yelled. Levi frowned at me. 

“Hanji failed a test.” 

“And then what happened at school today?” 

“Exactly.” He was frowning more than usual. Deep lines of thought etched into his face. 

“Levi….what’s wrong?” He sighed as he adjusted the knot on the back of my apron.

“I got fired.”

“WHAT?!” 

“Yeah…Apparently the owner of the company was watching the cameras as we kissed.” Levi said with a frown. He began pouring paint into cups and Hanji started laying paper out in three different sections. “So I got fired.”

“Levi….I’m sorry! If I hadn’t come in-“

“Don’t finish that sentence.” He shot me a dangerous look as he pointed a paintbrush at me. “I don’t want to work for a homophobe like that anyways. Piece of shit. We are splatter painting Eren. Try to keep it on the paper.” Levi said with a grin. I stepped up to the edge of my papers and Levi handed me a brush. 

“This is REALLY out of the norm for Levi!” Hanji said as she bounced around the room. 

“Shut it!” He growled as he dipped his brush in the bright blue and slung paint across his paper. “I’ve had a shitty day…AFTER getting to work that is. I’m just done with today.” I felt tears stinging at my eyes but I pushed them back and dipped my own brush in the red paint. My own splatter was a little more held back, but it was a much needed release from the stressful day. I added a little more water and tried again. Holy Shit! This was FUN! Fuck those guys! Fuck Connie!

“Screw that piece of shit!” Levi said as he flung turquoise across his papers now…what a surprise. I set my page to the side, deciding I no longer liked the red. It looked too much like blood. I started mixing blue and white and added a little black. It was an odd color but I liked it. Like a warm…grey? Shit…why did I keep coming back to that? I shrugged it off and slung it across my paper. 

“Screw Connie, and his loud mouth! And his fucking attitude!” I yelled as I slung paint. Levi smirked and continued on his own piece.

“Screw Dante’s Inferno!” Hanji yelled from across the room as she was slinging multiple colors. What? I looked over in confusion as she went crazy, paint flying everywhere on her side. No wonder we were so far off to the side…

“She failed an English test. It was on that book. She couldn’t understand it.” Levi said as he looked through his paint options. He decided on a light green next. I added a darker grey to mine. 

“I’M GONNA SEND YOU TO THE 9th CIRCLE!!!” she was going crazy. I took a step back and Levi stood in front of me. 

“Hanji! I know it’s vent art, but calm down!” She took a deep breath, splattered one more time, and her smile returned.

“Kay!”

I continued on with my piece, adding some faint light grey now, I stood aside for a moment as mine dried. I watched Levi continue with his. Hanji was just making a mess with one of hers now. I added the final color to mine, just a few select areas of black. 

“You two should make one together!” Hanji suggested as she walked over to us. Levi shrugged and we moved a new sheet of paper into the center, away from our drying pieces. He picked up the turquoise from earlier and I picked up the dark grey. We let the paint fly, and the two colors mixed as they hit the page in some areas, but they stayed separate in others. Levi took a deep breath and pulled the green out as I took out the light grey. We added just a little of each. 

“Okay Eren, just a tiny black I think? What do you think?” I nodded and he placed his hand over mine, causing my face to go hot. “Together?” He smiled at me before we slung the last bit of paint over the paper.

“Woo! Done!” Hanji said with a little dance. Her phone began ringing and she answered it. “Oh no! Was that today?!” She stripped off her apron and threw it on the counter.

“OH NO ZOE.” Levi grabbed her shoulder. “We are NOT cleaning up your mess!”

“Levi it’s important! I’m meeting with my advisor! He set up a time just for me because I missed the last three meetings and and and…” Levi sighed and let go of her arm. 

“Fine.” He sighed and she ran off.

“See you later! I’ll make it up! I swear.” He frowned as he looked over the mess. I began picking up the paintings and setting them on the table to dry.

“Thanks Levi! This was fun!” I said with a smile as I picked up our piece. It looked great! A perfect blend of everything we were. 

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you had fun. Clean up is just a bitch though.” He picked up the rest of his pieces along with Hanji’s and set them aside. 

“It’s not so bad if it’s with you.” I said with a grin. He turned to face me. He had a streak of black paint on his cheek. So cute. My eyes went wide and I walked over to him. “You have paint on your cheek.” His brow furrowed and he tried to wipe it off, but succeeded in smearing it further.

“Shit.” I pulled him over to the sink and wet a paper towel. I gently wiped at his cheek, getting the paint off. His skin was a little red underneath, but the black was gone. His other cheek was pink as well. I hadn’t scrubbed that one. He was blushing. “Thanks…” 

“You’re blushing.” He looked away and scratched his head under the bandana. 

“You just…look cute in that.” I smiled and threw the paper towel in the trash. I gathered every ounce of nerves I had and gently took his chin in my hand and turned it to me.

“You do too.” I could practically feel the heat radiating off of my cheeks and neck, but seeing him flustered like that was driving me crazy. I quickly looked around, making sure no one was around before I pressed a kiss to his lips. I felt him smile into it, and suddenly, without any warning he flipped us and pressed me up against the cold metal sink. 

“Eren…” He captured my lips, throwing all caution to the wind as he explored my mouth. My arm wrapped around his waist and the other went to his hair as it usually did, but I was caught off guard by the bandana. His bangs were still hanging down in the front and I ran my hand down, stroking the soft fabric of the black bandana, before playing with the hair that hung down by his eyes. He kissed me deeper still, and I felt a new hunger develop for Levi. One I couldn’t get enough of. I wanted more. I leaned down, harder into the kiss and he tugged on my shirt. I could feel his other hand on my back tense when our breathing became labored. We pulled apart reluctantly. Damn oxygen! Who needed it?! “We-We should stop.” He breathed as he looked at me with shining lips. He licked them and pulled away from me. 

“Probably a good idea.” We heard a voice behind us say and I heard a click. Before I knew what was happening, Levi was standing in front of me with a knife drawn, and his other hand in front of me protectively.

“Fuck Erwin!” My eyes went wide. Holy shit. What just happened?! “You know better than to sneak up on me!” Levi hissed. Erwin crossed his arms as Levi closed his knife and slid it back into his pocket. I knew he carried it, but I thought it was for practical reasons…like opening boxes or in case he needed it in the studio. Not for….I shook my head.  
“I didn’t! I swear! I slid my pass through the front door! It beeped like it always does. You two were OBVIOUSLY too distracted too notice. It was your own damn fault for letting your guard down here, Levi. Not when you haven’t set the secondary lock on the door to buzz people in this late.” I glanced outside. It was dark now. 

“Save the lecture, Erwin!” I took a step back. I didn’t like yelling. It made my chest tighten. 

“You know how dangerous it is at night!”

“I know. Like I said.” I took another step as I watched the two get closer. Surely they wouldn’t fight. Right?

“I’m just concerned…it’s not just you here anymore.”

“You think I don’t know that?!” I felt my hands beginning to shake. My legs were going weak. No. Don’t fight over me. 

“I’m sorry. Sorry.” I muttered as I slid down the wall with my back and brought my knees up to my chest. 

“Shit. Eren….Just go home, Erwin. I’ll call you later. I’m sorry, okay? I’ll set the secondary lock by night next time. I got distracted.” 

“Yeah, Yeah. It’s fine. Just keep an eye out. Be careful on the way home.” I heard the door lock and after the sound of the secondary lock being set, I heard footsteps getting closer. I assumed they were Levi’s. I had my head leaned into my knees, breathing unsteady.

“Hey….I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to scare you.” He put a gentle hand on my knee and I looked up. 

“I…I just don’t like conflict. Yelling just…makes me panic. I just shut down.” I mumbled. He sat down next to me and took my hand in his. 

“I know. I should have thought about that. I was just scared. He scared the shit out of me Eren. This is actually a really bad neighborhood. I’ve been mugged here before. Quite a few students have…not to mention….well, I’ll save that for another time.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. 

“W-What?”

“Well… There are also a few of those anti-gay groups around town also. Most of them are harmless really…they will just give you the whole spiel about why it’s wrong. But there are a few that can be violent.” No wonder he carried the knife. I frowned and sighed deeply. “I’ve been followed before. But that was as far as it went. It did scare me though.” 

“How did they even-“

“I was on a date at the time…We were holding hands in the park. After we went our separate ways I heard someone behind me.” He looked sad. “But that’s in the past. I don’t let those bastards intimidate me anymore. Erwin even taught me how to shoot. I’ve got a pistol at home.” My eyes went wide. “Sorry…I’m probably not helping.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“I just don’t see the point of giving my life up for someone who is willing to take mine so easily. Or yours for that matter, Eren. I’m willing to do what it takes to protect you.” He gave me a soft smile. “You mean a lot to me Eren.” I smiled back. I felt a little better. I let Levi help me to my feet and we finished cleaning up the room. He put a note on the table. 

 

Drying-Please don’t touch.  
Levi, Hanji, Eren.

 

“We can get them tomorrow.” He sighed and took off his apron and bandana and helped me untie mine. I slipped the bandana off of my head and handed it to him. He folded them neatly and put them back in his art cart. “Alright, ready to head home?” I nodded and we suited up for the cold. He wrapped my scarf around me and I slid my new hoodie on, and slipped on the glove for my un-injured arm. Having a cast really sucked. He threw his coat and scarf on and slipped on his gloves, before he scanned his ID, and we walked out onto the street. We heard a noise behind us and we both jumped.

“Erwin?” Levi looked around for his friend. No reply. I gave him a worried look. “Maybe it was just a cat?” He led me against the wall, walking towards the street, keeping that always watching eye on things as we walked. 

 

We heard a bottle bounce and roll about halfway home and we stopped to look. Someone was definitely there. I heard the knife click again. “Who’s there?!” He pushed me back against the wall and stood in front of me, looking out into the empty street.  
In the dim streetlight, three figures appeared. I whimpered and heard Levi curse.

“The fuck do you want?!” He demanded. 

“We want your kind out of this town!” They had hoods on and walked slowly as they approached us. 

“We have every right to be here, asshole!” Levi growled. “Get any closer and I’ll slice and dice your ass!”

“Two on Three?” I saw knives gleaming in their hands as well as they meandered across the street. “We like those odds! Especially with a worthless twerp like that!” Levi looked pissed. 

“Levi, they all have knives.” I whispered.

“I know. I’m trying to think this through.” At that exact moment, a car whipped into view. The figures ran off and the doors flew open.

“Get in!” It was Erwin. Thank God. I felt my legs nearly give out as we dove into the back seat and he locked the door. I was shaking. Levi clicked his knife closed for the second time that night and took me into his arms. 

“Thanks Erwin. We were fucked if you hadn’t showed up.”

“Yeah. I had a bad feeling. I came back by to check on you guys.”

“How did they even know?” I asked against Levi’s shoulder. We hadn’t held hands on the street or kissed outside. We hadn’t even been standing very close to each other.

“They probably saw you guys kissing through the window. I know I could.” Erwin said as he drove. I felt my face go hot. 

“Shit.” Levi said as he stared out the window. “Well it’s over now.”

“No. It’s not, Levi. You need to take that class. That knife wasn’t going to do anything to help you, and you know it.” He sighed and looked at me. 

“Fine. I’ll take it. Just sit in with me?”

“Sure.” The look in Levi’s eye told me that he would explain later. 

 

We finally arrived home, and after a few thank yous to Erwin, we were locked safely inside. 

“What a fucking day.” Levi said as he kicked off his shoes and hung up his coat. He sat down on the couch and looked over at me as I sat down.

“Yeah. It’s been a long day for sure.” I leaned down and took his hand in mine. “Thanks by the way. For protecting me.” He frowned as he looked over.

“I didn’t do anything. If Erwin hadn’t have showed up-“

“Let’s not think about that.” I said with a smile. “Right in that moment, you stood in front of me with your life on the line. I’m thankful. You didn’t have to do that.” He nodded and  
pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. 

“Like I said before, Eren. Anything to protect you.” I nodded and he leaned against me. I urged him to lay his head in my lap for once. He looked comfortable as he stretched out, his black hair falling across my leg. I let my fingers run through it and he sighed, relaxing into my touch. “Erwin is going to get me into a concealed carry class.” He said quietly. 

“Okay…”

“He’s been wanting me to since I got mugged. I guess tonight just cemented that for him.” I nodded and rubbed circles into his scalp.

“Just as long as you are safe with it.” Wow. I sounded like mom. A pang of sadness hit my chest hard, but I pushed it away.

“Of course. That’s why you take the class. Of course Erwin has showed me a lot. He carries a gun. Especially at night.”

“What?! I’ve never noticed!” 

“That’s the point of it being a ‘concealed’ carry, Eren.” He said with a chuckled. “But it’s hard to tell. He wears that big jacket usually. And he’s a bulky guy to begin with.” I nodded. There were only a few times I’d seen him without that brown leather jacket. “But at any rate, I promise I’ll be careful.” He looked up at me and looked me in the eyes as he said it. It was a promise. I nodded again and continued combing through his hair with my fingers. His eyes fluttered closed. 

“That feels good.” He mumbled. He was gently rubbing my thigh and his hand felt so warm. “But can we just have a snack and go to bed? I want to put this shitty day behind us.” He sighed and looked up at me. 

“Sure! Stay there! I’ll make soup!” I was slowly learning how to cook. Step by step, Levi was teaching me. He pulled away from my leg with a groan and I replaced my lap with a pillow. I made us both a turkey sandwich with cheese and a bowl of tomato soup for dinner. Not to mention I did it without setting the house on fire! I sat the bowls on the island and placed the sandwiches beside them. Levi happily joined me and we ate in a comfortable silence. I sat our empty plates in the sink for tomorrow morning. At least tomorrow wasn’t a heavy cleaning day. 

“Thanks for making dinner, Eren. It was nice.” Levi said as he leaned on his arm. He look really worn out.

“You’re welcome! I know it wasn’t much, but I’m trying to work on that!” He gave me a sleepy smile. 

“I’ll teach you sometime. Just not now. Bed now.” He pushed in the stool and I followed him up the stairs to the bedroom. I changed quickly into my pajamas in the bathroom, while he changed in the bedroom. He was already in bed when I came out. 

“Levi?”

“Hmmm….” It was barely audible. I carefully got into bed beside of him and snuggled into his side. He was stretched out awkwardly. It wasn’t like we normally slept, with his arms around me, or my head on his shoulder. I had a pillow tucked under his sprawled arm and my own arm was gently draped across his middle. 

“Night.” I already knew he was asleep by the sound of his heavy breathing. He was exhausted, and so was I, to be honest, but it took me a while to fall asleep. Thoughts of the day  
plagued my mind. I kept thinking of school and how everyone would act tomorrow. I sighed and tried to relax against Levi. Eventually our breathing synced and I managed to drift off.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are revealed about Levi!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I eliminated the whole gun thing in the later chapters. The more I wrote and thought about it, the more I realized that it just didn't even make sense (Because Eren is so distressed by violence) so...yeah. But the original plot will still continue. 
> 
> <3 ;) THAT'S WHY I NEED COMMENTS!!! It let's me know what you guys DO and DON'T like! <3 
> 
> So here is Chapter 13! Enjoy!!! 
> 
> Keep the comments rolling!

The next day

Levi’s POV

I groaned as I woke up. The alarm on my phone was going off and I was half tempted to throw it across the room. The bed didn’t feel as warm as usual. Eren? Eren?! I sat up and looked around. The bathroom light was on and I jumped out of bed and ran over. I knocked on the door.

“Eren! Are you in there?” He opened the door with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. His hair was wet. I looked a little closer. His eyes still looked tired. Had he not rested? 

“Why were you up so early?” He held up his hand to tell me to wait a minute as he finished brushing his teeth. 

“I tossed and turned all night. It was weird. I haven’t slept that bad since I was home.” I frowned and leaned against the doorframe. “So I just went ahead and got up the last time I woke up.” 

“I’ll make you some breakfast then while you finish up.” Not like I had anywhere to be today other than class. I made him some bacon and eggs and filled up both of our plates. 

He walked downstairs and took a seat at the island as I put a piece of toast on his plate. He was wearing new jeans and his death note t-shirt. It took all I had not to jump over that island. He looked good this morning. Not like he didn’t every day, but still.

After breakfast we sat around for a while and talked over coffee and a re-run of Black Butler until it was time for him to leave. He put on his coat and glove and gave me a sad look. 

“How much longer until I can have this thing taken off?”

“I don’t know exactly. Another week maybe? I wrote it down on the calendar by the art table.” He nodded and threw his bag over his shoulder. “Have a good day Eren. I’m just a call away.” I gave him a kiss and leaned on the door frame as I watched him walk away. I sighed and shut the door. It’s not like I wanted to let him go to school alone…But what would everyone there think if I walked him? That I was some older creep that was into a kid. I frowned and walked over to the art desk. Maybe I could work on it today. How many weeks had it been now? I sighed as I opened the drawer. 

I wonder if he would ever be ready for that side of me. We were getting closer every day, and it seemed like the lie was getting harder and harder to conceal. It was a big part of me, but still, there was that overwhelming feeling that it would scare him away. That he would think I was a freak. I pulled the sketchbook out of the drawer and set it on top of the table, along with my pens and pencils. I felt at ease immediately.

This was it. This was meant for my hands. My manga. Crisp lines, clean lettering. Every page would be perfect and controlled. Unlike that damn painting waiting for me at the studio. I could control every shadow on the page, every emotion, every highlight. Hell, I could even change the whole story if I wanted to. The control was completely mine. I flipped through my sketches to see how far I’d gotten and sighed. Only a couple of pages in and the story didn’t interest me any longer. I looked at the faces of the two young men I’d drawn. I couldn’t even remember where I’d gotten their inspiration from. One of the men resembled Erwin. No, they wouldn’t do any longer. I flipped to a clean page. And began drawing new borders, writing down ideas.

I sighed and leaned on my arm. My phone buzzed on the table.

**Eren: Made it safe. :) Blah. School is boring.**

I smiled as I read it. He was adorable. But that wasn’t all he was to me. He was special in so many ways. I respected Eren. He had already been through so much shit in his life, and he was still managing to hang on to hope. I loved the way his eyes shone bright with determination and excitement. I love the way his hair fell, even though it looked messy most of the time. I loved his smile. It could light up my day, even if everything around me was crumbling. Eren was my light in this world that was so full of hate and darkness. 

**Glad you made it okay. Don’t let the teachers catch you texting, brat. ;) Hang in there. I’ll be at the studio this evening. You can look forward to that.**

I began sketching absentmindedly, filling the page with Eren’s face. His bright eyes, flawless smile. I felt relaxed as I drew him, until I remembered WHAT I was drawing. I picked up my eraser. NO. No, I couldn’t draw him. Not like this. But I couldn’t erase him. I couldn’t erase that beautiful smile.

Eren had become the newest subject for my yaoi manga. I sat there for a moment trying to think of a second character to be with him in the book and all I managed to do was piss myself off. I got up and made myself a cup of tea. What was I thinking anyways? Drawing Eren like that…He was mine. 

**Eren: But I have math tutoring today! Yuck.**

I picked up my phone and texted him back quickly. 

**We can draw after. Or we can get those paintings framed. I need something on my walls.**

I couldn’t think of anything better than to have the artwork we made together hanging up. My living room was pretty empty.

**Eren: YES!!! Can we get them framed?!**

**Yes. Now pay attention is class! The teacher is going to get suspicious if you keep looking down at your crotch and smiling!**

**Eren: LEVI!!!!! Okay.**

Ha. Now maybe I could work for a while. I sat back down at the desk. Hmmm someone for Eren. I tapped my pencil faster. He’d have to be protective, because Eren needs to be safe. But he needs to be gentle too. Eren can’t be pushed too far, too fast. I tapped fast, why was I getting so irritated. UGH! I threw my pencil down. Wait…Holy shit. I was jealous. Over a fucking character?! Eren was mine. There was no way around it. I walked upstairs and dug through the bottom of my sink, pulling out a mirror. I sighed as I walked back downstairs and placed it on the desk. I began sketching myself beside him. There. MUCH better. I had a frown on my face, but I looked content at least. Maybe I could work with it. I let out a big sigh. When was I going to tell him?

He probably should know that his boyfriend is a published manga artist. It’s just the yaoi manga artist part that I didn’t want to scare him away. My books got pretty hot and heavy. That’s just the way I wrote and drew. I frowned as the mail was pushed through the letter box in the door. UGH. So many distractions this morning! I put my pencil down and went over to the door and picked up the pile

Bill. Bill. Credit card offer. June Manga Company. Bill. Oh wait. I picked the letter up and let the others fall to the table.

“Dear Artist, 

We are pleased to announce you have sold 20,000 of your most recent manga, ‘A Love by the Fire.’ My eyes went wide. Seriously. SERIOUSLY?! Thanks for your submission! Do to your recent popularity, we would like encourage you to do a week long book signing tour! Please call our local office at….

Twenty Thousand Copies. No. Fucking. Way. I dropped the letter to the floor and ran to my phone. I wanted to call Eren, but I couldn’t. 

A. He was in school.

B. He didn’t know his boyfriend even wrote yaoi manga. Shit!

So I called Hanji instead

“HANJI!!!”

“WHAT?!” She sounded immediately excited. I loved her energy.

“A Love by the Fire’ sold 20,000 copies!” I screamed.

“NO WAY! AGHHHHH.” I felt myself jumping like a little school girl and giggling.

“They invited me to do a book signing tour for a week!” I was grinning.

“What about Eren?!” She asked excitedly. I frowned. 

“What should I do?! He doesn’t know yet.” I heard her hum on the other end.

“Well you can tell him. Or you can keep it a secret still. Either way he’s going to want to go with you but-“

“But he can’t. He’s already missed too much school.” 

“Exactly.” I sighed and tossed the letter on the table.

“I’ll just tell him I have a business trip or something.”

“Will he believe that?” 

“Maybe something with school. Hopefully. If not, I guess I have to come clean. I just don’t want to scare him off.”

“I really don’t think you will, Levi. Eren really likes you. You get along so well!” she said happily.

“Until he learns his boyfriend is a freak that draws guys getting it on from every angle.” I sighed and looked over at the table. 

“Relax! Everything will turn out okay! I have a good feeling about things usually!” 

“Alright. Thanks.” I hung up the phone and went back to work on the sketches.

 

Later that day

I tapped my pencil as I waited for Eren. Hanji hadn’t showed up yet either, so I was sitting in a silent studio. I had called my publisher, and they insisted on next week for my book  
tour. They had pretty much already planned it, knowing I would agree. Luckily, Eren’s cast would come off the day after I came back, so he would have me there. I sighed and  
tapped louder. I heard the beep of a badge being scanned and Eren walked in. He smiled and sat beside me. I brushed the stray snowflakes off his shoulders as he sat his books on the table.

“Hey.”

“Hey. How was the walk?” What was I doing? I never said shit like that. UGH.

“It was fine? Just cold. Where’s Hanji?” He asked as he leaned over the table.

“Not sure. Usually she’s here early.” I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.

 **Hanji: Can’t make it! Bean got out! Sorry for the late notice!**

“Shit, Really Hanji?!” I sighed and shoved my phone in my pocket. “She’s not coming. Her damn cat got out, so she’s chasing it around the neighborhood. It happens at least once a month.”

“Oh…well do you still want to have the paintings framed?” Eren gave me a soft smile and reach over to gently touch my hand. “You seem stressed. Is everything okay?” Sure. Things were great! I had even gotten 5 pages into my new manga today. That was a record for the amount of time I had. I wanted to tell him about it but my heart was straining against my mind. 

“Just a lot on my mind.” I said as I stood up. I picked my best painting from the bunch, Eren picked his favorite and I added the one we made together to the stack of three. I slipped them into a small portfolio and we headed out. It was odd leaving the studio during the daytime. It was one of those cold days where it wasn’t quite the right temperature to freeze and make snow, but the mist would chill you to the bone. Eren huddled close to me as I walked. Our hands kept brushing together. I wanted that warmth, wanted that anchor. I kept playing different scenarios out in my mind, with none of them ending well. Even the ones that involved me going on the ‘business trip.’ I wrapped my hand around his as we walked closely. 

“Eren…I need to talk to you about something.” We were passing by the park now. I swung the portfolio in my hand gently and held Eren’s hand in the other. Maybe if I held it tight enough, he couldn’t run. Maybe he would stand there long enough to forgive me for not telling the truth. Maybe he wouldn’t think I was a freak. He stopped and it caused me to stop walking as well. My heart was pounding.

“Are you breaking up with me?” He looked heart broken. My eyes narrowed and I looked at him in disbelief.

“What? No. Eren, I really like you.” 

“Oh.” He turned his blush to the ground and took a step closer, still holding onto my hand.

“But you have to promise not to hate me.” I observed his face closely, brushing a stray strand of hair away from his eye.

“Okay. What’s this about?” I sighed and we began walking again. 

“It’d be easier to show you.” We walked for another couple of minutes before we ended up at the little town square. We were coming here to visit the framing shop, but there was also a bookstore. I pulled Eren inside the huge store. The fluorescent lighting showed the covers of the books like they were diamonds, glittering in the light.

“Why are we here?” He held onto my hand as I pulled him to the manga section. “Manga?” I kept walking deep towards the back. “Levi! I-I ugh.” His face was turning red. I found the book easily, picked it up, and dropped it into his hands. “T-This is-“He looked at the cover of ‘A love by the Fire’ and he turned maroon. “yaoi?” I nodded. 

“Yeah.” My heart was pounding in my chest. 

“So you like this stuff then? I mean I do too. I’ve read a few. I just didn’t know you read them as well.” He was looking away shyly. He reads them? A blush was forming on my own face. I could feel it starting on my cheeks and creeping across my nose.

“Y-Yeah. Ugh…Eren. There’s more…” His eyes got wide as I pointed to the author. It was my pen name, but I’m pretty sure he’d heard Hanji call me that a few times at least.

“Heichou Rivaille?” He began flipping through the pages, looking at the characters. He caught a glimpse of one of the sex scenes and slammed it shut. “W-Wait. Heichou? ISN’T THAT WHAT HANJI-“

“Hey! Keep it down kid!” The assistant of the shop scolded him and I squeezed his hand. My heart was going to jump out of my chest. I hoped he would hang onto me. I just hoped that fate wasn’t being cruel today.

“Yeah. It’s my pen name.” He was looking at me in disbelief. 

“Y-YOU. What. You drew this?” He flipped through it again. Just the first few pages this time. “You wrote this?” I nodded and gave his hand a squeeze.

“Please. Don’t be mad. I just didn’t want to run you off…” He flipped through the pages and looked up at me with a smile.

“Levi, this is great! I can’t believe you are published!” Confusion filled me. Why wasn’t he mad? Shouldn’t he be mad that I lied to him?

“You aren’t mad?” I tried to take the book, but he held onto it. 

“No! I’m happy! I know you had your reasons for not telling me. Plus…” He drew a little closer to me and took off the gloves that were separating our hands. He stuffed them in  
his pocket and ran his fingers over my palm. “I’ve been going through a lot. You probably didn’t want to drop more news on me, right?” I nodded and laced our fingers together, feeling his warm skin against mine. “And I appreciate that.” He was smiling at me, that perfect smile that could make my heart soar.

“Well…there’s a couple more things, Eren.” My stomach was dropping. He looked at me with that same determined look as always. “I-ugh…I’m going on a book tour next week. My book, that one you are holding sold 20,000 copies, and they want me to do a meet and greet.” His mouth dropped open.

“TWENTY-THOUSAND?!”

“HEY! Either buy something, quiet down, or get out!” The assistant yelled. I frowned and took the book out of Eren’s hand before placing it back on the shelf

“But-“

“We’re leaving.” I pulled him through the store and out into the cold. 

“I wanted to buy that!” I smiled and pulled him close. “I’ll have my publisher send my whole set for you for free. How about that?” His eyes lit up and he smiled. 

“Please!” I gave him a hug. “So…you’ll be gone for a week?” I frowned and nodded. 

“Yeah, But we’ll make it. I’ll call and text as much as I can. You need to do well and stay in school so you can graduate.” I felt him huff against my chest. “Maybe I can see if they’ll set another one up for spring break and then we can travel together?” He nodded against me. Since when had he become so close in public? “Hey, Eren? Do you realize how many people are around us?” He looked up at me with wide eyes and held onto me tightly.

“I-I didn’t even realize. I just felt so…calm? It didn’t seem like anyone was around.” There were hundreds of people zooming in and out of the shops, and we were pushed over to the side by a giant statute of a man on a horse. His cheeks were pink, but he wasn’t panicking. “I feel safe here.” He whispered. 

Eventually we ended up getting our paintings framed and heading home. What a day.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren have their first official date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cuties having a cute date night in <3 Ha!
> 
> then Levi leaves for his trip. Noooo.
> 
> I feel like this chapter starts off a little choppy. Meh. I hope not. Excuse it if it does :/

That Saturday

Eren’s POV

We laid around in bed for a while and were pretty much lazy for most of the day until 4 rolled around, then Levi made me shower and get dressed for our ‘date.’ He was dressed comfortably in a t-shirt and jeans, and I followed along. We pretty much matched, aside from sweater I threw on overtop of my outfit. It was the grey and white striped sweater he’d made me pick out. The house seemed chilly today. I joined him downstairs where I found Chinese food had already been delivered. What a date. I was grinning from ear to ear as I walked up to him. Our anime blankets were out on the couch and a 12 pack of soda was beside the TV stand. 

“So…this is technically our first date.” I said as I joined him on the couch.

“We should make it memorable then.” He said as he leaned over and gave me a kiss. I had been cherishing every touch, every word, and every kiss lately. He was going to be gone for a week and I didn’t know what I was going to do with myself. We wrapped up in our blankets and sat comfortably in each other’s arms as he turned on Sword Art Online and the first episode started playing. 

After the first four episodes we ate dinner in front on the TV….and in front of episode five. It was too good to shut off. I almost knocked my glass over.

“Careful Eren!” He grabbed it before it hit the floor. Luckily it was just water. I nodded and my stare went back to the TV. We ended up watching twelve episodes. Levi yawned as he stretched out beside me. “Eren, it’s getting pretty late.” The ending theme was playing and I was begging him for one more episode. Bed meant that he would be leaving me soon. 

“Just one more…”

“You said that three episodes ago. I need to sleep. I have to catch the train at 10 in the morning. It’s 2 now.” I gripped his sleeve and frowned. I really didn’t want him to go. What   
if I needed him? He smiled at me softly and ran his fingers through my hair. “You’ll be fine. I’ll call as often as I can. And I’ll text you all the time. Okay?” I nodded with the frown still on my face. “Hell, why don’t you invite those other brats over? Have them stay the week for all I care.” My eyes lit up.

“Really?!” He shrugged.

“As long as you keep it clean, I could care less. Just as long as you are smiling.” 

“I won’t be until you are back.” He frowned and brought his face close to mine.

“Don’t say things like that.” He looked conflicted now, like he was reconsidering. 

“I’m just being over dramatic.” I admitted. He pressed a kiss to my lips with a smirk.

“Damn brat. Don’t do that.” He swung his legs over the edge of the couch and stood up. “I have something for you. Stay there.” He came back with a bag in his hand. It was green and hand a ribbon tied on it. 

“What’s the occasion?” I asked as he handed me the big bag. He shrugged again.

“I don’t know. I guess thank you for accepting me for who I am?” I felt a blush creeping across my cheeks.

“Why wouldn’t I?” He smiled and leaned forward to give me another kiss. I could tell he was getting sleepy, because he didn’t put as much effort in. 

“Open it.” I peaked inside and my mouth dropped open. There were at least ten books inside. 

“B-But! You didn’t have to!” He smiled and ruffled my hair. 

“They came from my publisher yesterday. I get free copies of everything. Enjoy.” 

“These are all yours?” My face was growing hot as I picked the books up and began looking at the covers. He nodded and set the bag aside.

“That way you’ll have something to do while I’m gone.” I closed the space between us and pulled him close.

“Thank You! Thank you! thank you.”

“Mhmmm.” He whispered it into my shoulder. I kissed his cheek as I hugged him. He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. He looked exhausted. He really did need to get to bed soon. I felt guilty for keeping him up so late. 

“I left a notebook of instructions on the counter. I put my extra debit card in there also. You know the pin number, right?” I nodded and he yawned. “Good. There’s also a little cash if you want to order pizza or something. Of course you can get out anything you need from an atm too, but I figured it’d be helpful to leave some also.” He hummed as he looked around the living room. “Just make sure you go to school. And tutoring.”

“I will.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. 

“Good. Now, let’s go to bed before I fall asleep here.” He pulled me to my feet and drug me up the stairs behind him. We both quickly changed and I was sure to hurry this time. I dove into bed beside him, and he wrapped his arms around me. How was I going to sleep without him? He snuggled up to my back, arms resting comfortably around me. The light was off in a matter of moments, and I heard him sigh. 

“I’m going to miss you Eren.” He pressed a kiss to the crook of my neck and I shuddered. I squeezed his hand, looking towards the blue glow of the nightlight.

“Me too. It’s going to be hard without you.” 

“I’m just a call away. Anytime. Don’t hesitate. Alright? Promise me.”

“I promise.” And with that promise we settled down for the night, enjoying the heat from each other. 

 

The next day

Levi was stuffing the last of his things into his suitcase in the living room while I sat on the couch and waited. I felt my chest getting tight and my stomach was sinking. I really didn’t want him to go. 

“Eren, stop pouting. Come and give me a kiss before I go.” I reluctantly stood up. Maybe if I stood here, he wouldn’t go. “Stop being a brat. You’re making me feel guilty.” He frowned as he walked over to me. I sighed and met him half-way.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t want you to go, Levi.” He leaned his head against mine. 

“I wish I could take you with me, but I can’t. Just understand that it’s because I do care about you. I want you to do well in school so you can graduate and move on to better things.” He gave me a half-smile and my heart fluttered. He was always thinking about me in one way or the other. “Just be good while I’m gone.” He brought our lips together gently at first testing the water and pulled away to look in my eyes. “You aren’t upset at me for going are you?” 

“No, I’m really proud! I’m happy, I’m just going to miss you. I’m going to miss this…” He captured my lips again in a deeper kiss this time, claiming every part of my mouth as his. The kiss was fierce, and it sent fire through me, all the way up my neck through my cheeks, and back down my body. It made me crave him in a way that I had been feeling a lot more frequently. Suddenly he pulled me closer, and his mouth dropped down to my neck, kissing at the skin. I felt him lick for a second and I began to pull away but he pulled me right back, before he sucked lightly, then suddenly he sucked hard.

“L-Levi!” I gripped onto his arm. The sensation was almost too much. My head was spinning. He pulled away with a grin and gave me another swift kiss.

“That, is so you won’t forget me while I’m away.” He was smiling now, and so was I. Sure I didn’t want him to go, but all other thoughts had left my brain and turned to jello. We heard the taxi beep outside that was going to take him to the train station. “Alright, I’m heading out. If you need anything call don’t hesitate to call. You have Hanji and Erwin’s number also. I’ll see you next Sunday.” One more kiss and he was out the door, leaving me behind in the empty house. 

I felt sadness overwhelm me. I didn’t want to mope, but that’s exactly what was happening. I needed to distract myself. I couldn’t make art when I was gloomy, so that was out of the question. I didn’t feel like watching anime. Maybe I actually would invite Armin and Mikasa over? I thumbed through my phone for a bit, getting bored with tumblr after the first 20 minutes.

**Levi: Made it on the train. You okay?**

**You’ve only been gone half an hour…**  
I miss you….

I felt stupid sending the two texts in a row. Clingy almost. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. My phone buzzed in my hand.

**Levi: I miss you already as well. Invite the brats over. Watch a movie or something. There are a bunch of Miyazaki Films on Crunchyroll I think.**

I smiled at his text. He knew how to cheer me up. I hit the contact button of my phone and brought up my sister’s picture and hit the call button.

“Hello?”

“Hey. Are you doing anything?” 

“Not really, just reading. Why?” 

“Levi is out of town. I thought maybe you and Armin could come over and hang out? Maybe watch a movie?”

“Sure! I’ll just tell dad I’m going to Annie’s. What time?” I looked at the time on my phone. It was just past 10. 

“How about noon?” 

“Sounds good. Text me the address.”

“Okay. I’ll call Armin. See you guys soon!” I hung up the phone with a smile on my face. My thumb pressed the call button next to Armin’s picture and we had a similar   
conversation, but he agreed to come. I showered and straightened up the apartment before they showed up. 

A few minutes past 12 I heard a knock on the door and I rushed to it. I opened it to find Mikasa and Armin. They awkwardly followed me inside and kicked off their shoes. 

 

“Wow! It’s so clean!” 

“Yeah, he’s really taught me how to clean properly! I have a lot to learn still though! He said he’s going to teach me how to really sweep and mop once my cast comes off.”   
Mikasa’s eyes dropped down to my wrist. 

“He’s making you clean that much?” I frowned slightly as I shut the door behind them.

“No, it’s not like that! I like to. We do it together. It’s just on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings.” 

“You clean this tiny apartment 3 days a week?!” Armin said as he looked around. “With two people?”

“Well…it gets dirty…” I was scratching the back of my head. It was awkward now. I did like spending time with Levi, no matter what we were doing. “So! Do you guys want to watch a movie or something? We have Crunchyroll.”

“You and your anime.” Armin snorted as he wondered over to the couch. I frowned as I watched them.

“Levi likes it. You should give it a shot you know. You might like it too.” Wow. I felt moody, but the whole reason I invited them over was so they could cheer me up, not the opposite. 

“Impress us then!” Armin said with a smile. Mikasa shrugged and sat beside of him. 

“Do you guys want food or something to drink? We’ve got soda, tea, hmm….” I looked through the fridge. When did he fill it back up? It was stuffed! “Everything!” 

“What do you mean everything?!” Armin asked as he hopped up and ran over. He looked inside the overflowing fridge. “Oh.” Bottles of chocolate milk were hovering dangerously close to the edge. I can’t believe the door even shut. 

“He must have sent Hanji.” I muttered. Mikasa joined us as we stared at the wall of food. “I guess he didn’t want me to starve.

“He’s only gone for a week right?! This is enough food for a month at least!” Mikasa caught a pudding cup as it fell from the door. Armin shrugged and grabbed one for himself. I   
chose a chocolate milk for myself along with a 3rd pudding cup. I pushed the door shut. 

“You should see the cabinets. Levi likes to stock up on stuff.” I shrugged and we walked back to the couch.

“At least you won’t go hungry. Has he taught you how to cook yet?” Mikasa asked as she sat next to me.

“I can make soup now. Microwave things of course. He said he’s going to teach me to make a grilled cheese next.”

“Fancy. Just don’t burn his house down. This place is nice.” She looked around the living room as I flipped through the movies and decided on ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’.

“EREN?!” 

“What?!”

“WHAT did that midget DO to you?” Mikasa glared at my neck and I took a step back from her.

“Huh?” Armin chuckled and scratched at his head.

“Your neck Eren. You’ve got a hickey.” SHIT. I whimpered and my hand flew to the spot Levi had kissed and sucked on before he’d left. I had completely forgotten about it.

“I-I UGH.” Mikasa was sending off some bad vibes. “He-he just-“

“Did he touch you Eren?!”

“WHAT?” She narrowed her eyes. “NO! He just…gave me that…Even if he did it’s none of your business!” She huffed and crossed her arms. “Be nicer to Levi!” 

“He shouldn’t be marking you up like that!” I rubbed over the mark. I had seen it forming in the bathroom while I went to take my shower. He’d never done anything like that   
before, so I thought it was kind of out of character for him. 

“He told me he did it so I’d have something to remember him by while he was gone. He doesn’t usually do that…” I kept rubbing over the mark. Maybe I was over thinking it.   
Hopefully there wasn’t another meaning behind it. 

“You think there’s something else to it?”

“It’s property marking, Eren.” Mikasa said as she looked me in the eye. I frowned. 

“Levi wouldn’t do something like that. Maybe he just got caught up in the moment.” I shrugged. It’s not like it hadn’t felt nice. “Let’s just drop it.” I started up the movie and everyone went silent, and it left me to my own thoughts. 

By the end of the movie Armin was on the edge of his seat and Mikasa was smiling. 

“So what did you guys think?” I asked as I began picking up the trash.

“It was really good!” Armin said with a smile. “Maybe…I was wrong.” I grinned.

“Mikasa?”

“Same. I liked it!” I was beaming. 

“DO YOU WANT TO TRY A SERIES?!” Their eyes went wide.

“Ummm I guess?” I grabbed my phone and sent Levi a text as I walked into the kitchen.

**To Levi: What’s a good anime to start Mikasa and Armin on? I need something light and bubbly. They really liked Howl’s Castle.**

I threw the trash away and got an immediate buzz back.

**Levi: I’m in DC now. It was a 3 hour train ride. Yuck. Try them on Ouran everyone falls in love with it.**

**Glad you made it safe! That’s a great idea! I’ll let you know how it goes!**

“I’ve got the perfect one for you guys!” I said as I plopped down on the couch.

“You are WAY too excited about this, Eren.” Armin said with a grin.

“I want you guys to enjoy the same things as me. Or at least appreciate them!”

“We are trying! So where is Levi anyways?” He asked as I sorted through the shows on Crunchyroll. I smiled as I found the characters smiling back at me in the lavender blazers under the title Ouran High School Host Club. 

“He had a business trip. Sort of like a ugh…jumping from city to city thing for a week.” Armin nodded before I started up the first episode. 

 

A few hours later

“Oh my god, it’s 8:30!” Mikasa said as she jumped up from the couch. “I need to go or dad will have a fit!” I felt my stomach sink and I reach out and grabbed her arm. “I-I mean, he’ll scold me Eren. Not…” My eyes dropped down to the floor.

“Fuck. Don’t…Just…Are things better now?” I asked as I let go of her arm. I felt the pang of sorrow fill my heart. I missed her so bad. I missed home at times. I missed mom the most. 

“It’s 95% better. He’ll still have his off days where he will yell every now and again, but he hasn’t had one of those in a while. And he just yells in general…never at me.” I nodded and stood, walking them over to the door. 

“I’m glad things are better.” I said with a smile.

“Me too.” She looked into my eyes as she said it. “But…I can’t help but think I pushed you away for my happiness Eren…”

“What?! No!!!” Armin shouted. “He’s happy here! Just look!” He pointed at me. He’s got everything he NEEDS Mikasa. Food, new clothes. A SAFE place to live. He’s not walking on eggshells every time he steps through the door, right Eren?”

“Exactly.” I nodded and leaned against the wall. “I haven’t been this happy since…” I paused at the words. “Well…even before then. Levi…he’s filled up a hole in my heart I didn’t know I had. It’s like he’s the missing piece of the puzzle or something. That’s why I had you guys come over today. I was moping around when he left.” Mikasa turned red and looked away.

“Sorry…it’s just…odd. To hear you talk like that about anyone. Let alone a guy. I’m glad though! I’m glad he makes you happy Eren!” She grabbed me in a hug and I was truly smiling from ear to ear. 

“Me too!” Armin added. “You deserve it!” I felt tears burning my eyes and I tilted my face into her scarf and let the pressure loose a little.

“H-He’s really good to me guys. I feel like I don’t deserve it, and then he just…he goes and convinces me that I do. He’s just so…amazing.” I rubbed at my eyes before I pulled away from Mikasa’s hug. She was still smiling. 

“That’s great! We really do need to head out though Eren. We’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure!” I let them out and locked the house up. After turning off all of the lights, I went upstairs and fell into the bed. My eyes popped open as Levi’s scent drifted around me. I groaned and rolled over to his side of the bed to grab his pillow and pull it close. 

“LEVIIIIIIII!” I looked at the clock in the bedroom. 9:15. I sighed and pulled my phone out.

**To Levi: Are you busy?**

I thumbed through tumblr for a while again and waited for a reply, and got nothing this time. Seriously?! UGH! I checked my email, and there wasn’t really anything important there either.

**Levi: Sorry. I was in the shower. Room service just delivered also. What’s up?**

**Bored. Feeling Gloomy. Ugh. I hate this feeling.**

To my relief he answered back right away.

**Levi: Cheer up! At least you aren’t terrified about eating hotel food. Go start one of the mangas :)**

He sent a picture along with his text. He’d ordered a salad along with a steak and it looked fine to me…oh right. Dinner…

**Good Idea. Gonna grab a bite to eat also. Steak looks good. Doubting my cooking skills though. Lol**

**Levi: DON’T MAKE STEAK. Unless it’s a TV dinner. There are plenty of those in the freezer. Please leave the apartment (and yourself) in one piece brat.**

I smiled as I read his message and shuffled through the freezer. I did decide on the steak TV dinner after all. 

**TV Dinners are my specialty. :)**

**Levi: Want to skype after we eat?**

**YES! YES! YES! PLEASE!!!!**

**Levi: Eat up and call at 10 then. I’ve got something I need to finish up, so I’ll talk to you then.**

**OKAY!!!!**

I downed my molten hot TV dinner and grabbed the bag that was still sitting in the living room and brought it upstairs with me. I put my phone on charge while I waited for 10 to get here. I dumped out the books on the bed and looked over them. There were 3 that were a series. Four that were just one shot manga, and two that worked as a set. I picked up the one Levi had showed me in the shop and started reading the first page. Before I knew what was happening, my phone was beeping. SHIT!!!  
I picked it up. Levi was skyping me. 

“AGHHHH!!! I’M SORRY!!!!” He grinned at me as I looked into the camera. 

“It’s fine! Calm down.” He was sitting on the bed in a t-shirt. He was on his laptop. “So I take it you were reading the manga and got distracted?” I felt my blush forming already,   
but I couldn’t look away from the screen. He looked too good sitting there in front of his computer like that. 

“Y-yeah. Sorry.”

“I’m glad you like them, brat. Especially enough to lose track of time. It makes me happy.” I smiled. 

“What’s that?” 

“Hmmm?”

“By your leg? On the bed. Is that a new sketch?! Can I see??!” His eyes went wide and he slammed his sketchbook shut. I frowned and watched as he fumbled around and almost   
fell off of the bed.

“I-I Ugh N-No. Maybe when it’s done!?” He was throwing pencils and paper everywhere, trying to clear off the bed. I was grinning. He was keeping something from me.

“So you have a secret?”

“What?! NO! It’s just not done! I-I ummm it needs work. Actually it’s total crap. I may redo it. Or I may scrap it. Who knows?!” 

“You are turning pink, Levi.” 

“Shit…” I laughed and he scratched at his cheek. “Well…it’s a secret for now. It needs a ton of work. I’m not ready for anyone to see it yet.”

“Okay. As long as I can see still see you I’m okay with that.” I said with a grin. 

“Absolutely.” I groaned and flipped around on the bed, taking Levi’s pillow with me. “Is that-“

“Yes. I know. I’m weird.” He gave me a soft smile and shook his head. I buried my face into his pillow for a second. 

“No you aren’t. I was going to ask if I could borrow one of your hoodies to take with me so I could have with me, but I didn’t want to creep you out. Damn it…” I kicked my legs in   
the air. 

“LEVIIIIIII!”

“What?”

“That’s cute!” He grinned and blew me a kiss. 

“You smell good. I can’t help it.” He shrugged and leaned back against the pillows. I hugged his pillow closer. 

“You do too.” I peaked over top of his and looked into the camera of my phone. “I just wish you were here. It’s going to be hard to fall asleep tonight.” 

“Try not to think about it…So how did they like Ouran?” 

“They went crazy for it! How could you not fall in love with Tamaki?” I said with a grin.

“Hey!” Levi frowned and crossed his arms.

“Don’t be jealous. Kyouya is more of my type, but that doesn’t mean he’s anything like you.” 

“Fine, fine. I’m glad they are watching it with you. How many episodes in did you get?”

“Episode 8, I think.”

“Wow. That’s a lot for one day, with the movie too.” I nodded and yawned. “Eren, are you getting tired?”

“A little. But I want to talk to you. I won’t be able to until tomorrow night.” 

“You can call me when you get out of school. Hell, you can call me anytime. I’ll pick up unless I’m in the shower or something.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah. You are number one in my life. My manga is important, but I can always take a five minute break and talk to you, okay? So anytime is fine.” I smiled and nodded. 

“Okay. Thanks.” 

“Now, go to bed. You’ve got school in the morning. I’ll be up at 4, so I can catch my next train unfortunately.”

“Ugh, that’s awful!”

“Yeah, tell me about it. It’s Pittsburgh next I believe, who knows. I’ll go wherever they send me.” I nodded and looked up from the pillow. “Anyways, goodnight Eren. Sweet dreams. If you need anything, call.”

“Sweet dreams, Levi.” We blew each other kisses and signed off. I plugged my phone in and cleared the bed off before turning off the lights (aside from the constant glow of my blue nightlight) and I settled into bed. Sleep took me a lot easier than I thought it would. Maybe Levi was willing it from far away. Who knew?


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's first day away from Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warning**  
> **Claustrophobia**
> 
> Don't read if the description of small spaces bothers you!!!!
> 
> On another note: Aren't I awesome?! Two chapters in one night? ;) Show me some love <3 Haha Comments make my day fine and dandy!
> 
> On a more serious note:
> 
> Things will get better. Hang in there!!!!

_Alone. I felt so utterly empty and alone. So hopelessly empty._

_“You are a fucking disgrace!” Dad’s words kept ringing through my head._

_“No one wants to be your friend!” I reach out into the darkness, searching, grasping into nothingness. Terrified. NO. Breathing. “You guilt people into being around you.” NO. That’s not true! Levi said-_

_“I see a piece of myself in you.” He likes me. He really does. Levi cares about me. Had I ever been this scared before?_

_“He pities you. That’s the only reason he’s still around.” No! It’s not true!_

_“He pities that you lost your mommy, that you are awful at everything you do. Math, art, cooking, cleaning.” NO, NO, NO. Closing. Tightening. Compressing. LEVI! NO! Everything around me was closing in. I couldn’t breathe. I COULDN’T BREATHE!_

My eyes popped open and I felt my ears ringing. Had I been screaming? My face was wet. Tears were running, My chest was tight. I was having trouble breathing. I was so scared. Fear was surrounding me, but at least the darkness was gone, replaced by the soft blue light from the nightlight. I reach out for my phone. I didn’t even know what time it was, but I needed him. Needed Levi. He’d know what to do. He’d know why I couldn’t breathe. I somehow managed to hit call and it began ringing. 

“Mhmm Hello? Eren?” I’d obviously woken him up. I couldn’t speak. Words wouldn’t flow. All I could do was try to breathe, but even that didn’t work. I just let out a strained whine as tears flowed. “Eren?! What’s wrong?!” He was more alert now. 

“C-Cant. Hard. To Breathe.” I managed those few words.

“Eren, do you have asthma?!”

“N-No.” I gasped for air as I clawed around in the room. “Scared. Nightmare.” 

“Oh.” He was thinking. I could tell he was trying to come up with a solution. “Try to take a calm breath Eren. It’s going to be alright. I think you are having a panic attack.” I was reaching for his pillow, holding on to it tight. I felt myself shudder and I let out a whine. “Do you feel terrified? Chest tight?” I was nodding but I knew he couldn’t see me.

“Y-yeah.”

“Sounds like it then. Just take a minute and try to organize your thoughts. I’m on the line with you okay.” I didn’t want Levi to stop talking. His voice was distracting me from the  
swirling thoughts in my head. My dad’s voice, my mom’s face. Levi’s face was in there also. I let out another strangled cry, but suddenly a little gasp of air filled my lungs, but I was trembling. Shaking from the fear. Just the thought of my dad was enough to send me into a fit.

“L-Levi?”

“Yeah.”

“S-Sorry….”

“Don’t be. I told you to call anytime. I’m here for you no matter what, Eren. You are special to me.” And just like that the voices were put to rest that had echoed in my dreams.  
Levi didn’t pity me. He truly cared for me. What we had was real. Our bond was real. 

“Okay.” I breathed in and out slowly, hanging on to the pillow and the phone at the same time. “Thanks.” 

“Do you want to talk about your dream?” I felt my chest ache again. Probably not a good idea.

“Maybe tomorrow…” 

“Alright.”

“Just….talk to me for a while?” I glanced over at the clock. It was 1:30. Levi had to be up at 4, and I felt guilty. 

“Sure. About what?” 

“Anything.” I could take small breaths now, sweet oxygen filling my lungs.

“Hmmm….well there was a small coffee shop I visited yesterday. It had art all over the walls, and graffiti on the outside of the building…” We talked for over an hour until eventually I passed out grasping the phone in my hand, and Levi’s pillow in the other.

 

The next day

I was startled when my alarm went off right next to my face. Why was my phone so close?! I shut it off and looked at the screen. **New messages from Levi. (3)**

 **Levi: You fell asleep on the phone last night. Hope you are feeling a little better this morning.**

**Why do trains have to run so early? UGH. I’ve caught my train on time. I’m on my way to Pittsburgh now. If you need anything, call or text. Anytime.**  
 **1 new picture message**

I opened the picture message to immediately blush. OH MY GOD. Levi had sent me a picture of himself standing the bathroom without a shirt on. Holy Shit. He was sexy. His hair was wet in the picture, and he had his eyeliner done just right. Damn did he look good in eyeliner! The caption read:  
 **Something to start your day off better.**

My eyes lingered on the picture for a while. Every muscle, every fold of skin was perfectly toned, but not grotesquely so. He still looked soft. I had to force myself to close the  
picture out and get up for school. 

**To Levi: Good Morning. Thanks for the picture. My day is MUCH better now.**

This was going to be a long week.

 

Later that day

“Eren!!!!” Hanji hugged me as I walked into the studio. “How are you feeling?!” Great. Levi blabbed to her, I’m guessing.

“Fine I guess…”

“Good! Let’s get to work!” She slung her own notebook and calculator out on the table and we started on my homework. Just seeing the number of problems I had to do made me tense up and start tapping my pencil. Hanji paused and looked at me. “I used to have panic attacks, you know. UGH not that Levi said anything-!” Smooth Hanji. She played with her hairclip. “Well….maybe he did.” 

“Yeah…”

“Well anyway…It’s not fun. I know how it feels. Like you are being crushed with fear and worry. I don’t want that happening to you Eren. Don’t let it get any worse.” She patted my hand. “I had to learn that things weren’t going to crash down around me….with the help of medication of course. Well the medication isn’t for everyone! Different things help. Talking out your problems, psychiatrists, meditation, and exercise. It’s all about the individual.” I nodded as I looked at her. “I talked with Levi and Erwin a lot. And took my  
medication of course! Then things started getting better.” She gave me a smile and I smiled back. 

“Maybe I’ll look into it.” I offered.

“Just know that you aren’t alone. Okay? Anytime you need me, call. Even if you want to hang out! I’m up for that too!” She gave me a bright smile and a thumbs up. “Alright, up for math now?” Not really, but I’d give it a shot…

“Sure.” We started and worked one problem at a time, and eventually we made it through. We heard a beep behind us a while into the tutoring, and looked to see Erwin wave at us.

“ERWIN!!!” She ran and hugged him as if she hadn’t seen him in weeks. 

“Hanji! Hey!” He walked over to me. 

“Hey Eren.” He greeted me with a smile and a wave.

“Hey.” I was packing my math book and binder into my bag, cleaning up for the day. Making art just wasn’t going to happen. UGH. I hated feeling like this. 

“Levi wanted me to pick you up and take you home. So whenever you are ready, it’s cool. He said you may want to draw for a while, so that’s fine. I’ll work on homework if you  
do.” I frowned as I slung the bag over my shoulder.

“I’m not really feeling up to it tonight. I appreciate the ride. Thanks.” I gave Erwin a half-smile. Hanji patted me on the shoulder. 

“Not even up for art? Wow…must have been a bad one.” 

“Hanji!” I frowned as I walked towards the door. It was none of their business to be honest and I have no idea why Levi told them. My heart was pounding as I walked out the door and followed Erwin and Hanji to the car. Really?! UGH. It’s not like I want to have these attacks and be scared out of my mind. It was almost dark…Oh yeah…this was where those guys had followed us. I looked around as we walked a little further. The sidewalk parking must have been full. My hand went up to my jacket and pulled the zipper down. It was tight. So was my t-shirt actually. I yanked on the neck on my shirt to loosen it. Was it darker than usual? I walked faster to keep up with Erwin. I didn’t want to get left behind. I felt myself begin to shake. SHIT. NO. Not here. I stopped and leaned against the wall. My chest was tightening again. I couldn’t breathe. I grasped at it, willing any air I could inside. If Levi was here, maybe he could protect me, maybe….

“Erwin! Wait up! Eren stopped…” I heard Hanji’s voice and she looped back around. I felt tears running down my cheeks. NO. I didn’t want them to see me like this. They’d pity me too. I slid down the wall and pulled my knees up to my chest. 

“L-Le-“ I couldn’t even get his name out. Just a whine came out of my mouth and a sob. The ground was cold, and snow started melting against me, but I paid it no attention. 

“Eren!” I felt a hand on me and I jerked away. 

“NO!” I fell backwards. IT wasn’t Levi! And it felt WAY too much like my dad’s hand. Erwin looked shocked as I tried gasping for air. I was sobbing clawing at my chest. 

“Don’t touch him Erwin. He’s not thinking right. He’s panicking.” Hanji said as she knelt down beside me. I heard the faint sound of a phone ringing on speaker and a familiar voice echoed across the street.

“Hello?” It was Levi. I whimpered and sobbed. He’d leave me after he found out the trouble I was causing his friends. I just knew it. FUCK. 

“Levi, Eren is having a panic attack. Talk to him!” She sounded desperate. “I think Erwin made it worse. He tried to pull him up.”

“Shit. Eren, can you hear me?” I nodded pushed my face into my knees.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Where are you guys?” I let out a whimper and wiped my face.

“S-Street.” It took everything I had to get those words out. Every bit of oxygen in my lungs. 

“Eren, that’s not very safe is it?” No. No it’s not. That’s why I’m having this fucking panic attack. “Can you try to get in the car for me? Please.” I choked and tried to pull myself up. I was shaking so bad.

“He’s standing up, Levi.”

“Good Job, Eren. You can do it. Thank you.” I had my arms pulled close, my cast cradled against me tight. Eventually, I was safely in the car with Hanji and Erwin. 

“We’re in!” 

“Excellent. I’m proud of you.” I sighed and rubbed my eyes. My chest was still tight, I still felt the unnerving sense of doom and fear. I wanted to throw up.

“L-Levi.” I swallowed hard and took a shallow breath. 

“Yeah?”

“Miss you.” He was silent on the other end for a moment.

“I miss you too. I promise I’ll catch the earliest train home on Sunday that I can. Maybe even Saturday night, if possible.” 

“Kay.” I just wanted him here. I wanted to be in his arms. I needed him. Needed him to protect me and keep me safe. I choked back another sob. 

“We’ll skype later tonight, okay?” I could here regret in his voice almost. Like he should have never went on the trip and I hated myself for it. I just…I wanted to…Ugh! Why was I  
thinking like this?!

“Okay.” I looked up as we pulled into the parking lot of the apartment.

“Eren, I’ve got to go for now, okay? Will you be alright?” 

“Yeah. I’m okay. Better now.” I felt some of the fear slipping away now I was home. 

“Okay. Just remember to call, if you feel like you are going to panic, go ahead and call. Maybe I can help.” 

“Alright. I will.”

“I’ll call around 10. I’ll text you until then.”

“Okay. Sounds good.” We said our goodbyes and I handed Hanji her phone back. 

 

“Thanks guys.” I felt awful. I just wanted to go crawl in Levi’s supply closet and hide. 

“No problem! Say…Erwin, aren’t you off tomorrow?”

“I have class at noon, but yeah.” 

“Same for me! How about a sleep over Eren?” I frowned and looked at them with doubt and red eyes.

“Really?” They had just seen me go full blown crazy, and now they wanted to have a sleep over…

“Sure! We can hang out!” Hanji was beaming and Erwin gave me a smile.

“Sound like fun.” He said with a shrug. “It’s up to you of course.”

“I guess that’s fine.” Erwin rolled up the windows and shut off the car, then they followed me inside. Hanji plopped down on the couch and Erwin helped himself to a drink. “I’m going to go change…” 

“Okay!” She was flipping through the different anime on crunchyroll now. I went ahead and threw on some lounge pants. I sighed as I looked over the bed. It was still a mess from  
last night. Levi’s pillow was a crumpled mess on the edge of the bed. I sat down for a moment and held his pillow close to me. For a few seconds his scent lingered in the air, but  
is started to fade away, being replaced by my own. I sighed and looked around the bedroom. What was that? Levi had left his dresser drawer open slightly. That wasn’t like him at all. He must have been in a rush as he was packing. There was a maroon sleeve hanging out of the drawer. I stood up and walked over to it, slinging the pillow back on the bed as I did. I went to push the sleeve back in and then I realized what it was. This was Levi’s hoodie! I pulled it the rest of the way out of the drawer and hugged it close to me. It still smelled like him too! Trost University was written across the front in big letters. I checked the size on the tag. Levi was so much smaller than me and I didn’t want to stretch out his hoodie. Yes! It was my size! I pulled it on over my shirt and felt the warmth envelope me, almost like Levi was hugging me. I felt a blush crossing my cheeks but I didn’t care. I felt safe. His scent was all around me now, and I could smell even the subtle amount of cologne he wore that had settled into the fabric. It was hypnotic. I had to pull my thoughts away as I heard Hanji call out to me. 

“EREN!!! You ready?!” 

“Y-Yeah!” I ran down the stairs and joined her on the couch. She was grinning at me as I plopped down beside of her. I grabbed the blanket I always shared with Levi and shared it with Hanji. Erwin had his own blanket in the chair. “What are we watching?”

“A show called Hyouka! It’s about a curious girl and boy who always acts passively.”

“Way to read the description, Hanji!” Erwin said with a chuckle.

“Well it looks good!” I got comfy and as it turned out, it was good. The characters were right on point, and before I knew it, we had watched quite a few episodes. It was already 9:50.

“I need to call Levi on skype in a few minutes…” Hanji let the episode pause on the main menu.

“Okay! How about I cook us some dinner? You go chat with Levi and it should be ready in no time!” Hanji said with a smile.

“That’d be great. Thanks!” I stood up and walked upstairs, sitting down on the bed with my phone in my hand. I called Levi on skype, and he appeared on the screen a few minutes later. 

“Hey…”

“Hey, nice hoodie brat.” My face turned red instantly. I had forgotten all about it.

“I-I UGH. I didn’t mean to-I!” he chuckled and waved his hand.

“It’s fine! Really. Anything to help you right now, Eren.” The way my name rolled off his tongue made me shiver. I just wanted him by my side. Sure the hoodie helped, but I  
wanted the real thing. “So how are you?” I sighed and looked away for a moment.

“I’m…I’m okay right now.” Hanji cackled from downstairs and it echoed throughout the apartment. Levi raised his eyebrow.

“Was that a crazy four-eyed woman I just heard downstairs?” He was grinning. 

“Yeah…they decided to stay over. Erwin is here too.” I was frowning.

“Were you okay with that? You don’t really look like it.”

“It’s fine…I just don’t know them as well as you yet.” Levi leaned his head to the side. 

“They’ve been concerned about you. Both of them have been texting me all day.” He admitted finally.

“So you knew they were staying?” 

“I didn’t know they were staying the night, no. I knew they were hanging out. It makes me feel better that someone will be there with you tonight, though.” A pained look crept  
across his features and I noticed how tired he actually looked today. Like he had been worried all day. My hand started fooling with the strings on the hoodie. 

“I’m sorry…”

“For what?” He took a drink from a can sitting by the bed, some kind of juice. I sighed and jerked at the string, before my hand moved to my chest. I felt the familiar tightening. 

“Eren. Snap out of it!” I directed my eyes back to his and felt my face go hot. 

“I-I…I’m feeling like that again…” Levi adjusted his screen a bit as if to focus the screen better.

“Listen to me Eren. I’m right here. Let’s talk this through. Okay? Tell me what’s wrong.” I nodded and leaned back, taking his pillow into my arms.

“I…just feel…this tightening in my chest. I feel scared? Overwhelmed. I don’t know why.”

“What were you thinking about just now?” His expression was soft. He was concerned. I could tell. I was making him worry again and it made my chest tighten further. I gripped  
the pillow further. “Eren! Stop. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I-I’ve been making you worry…”

“Is that why you are panicking?” I felt the air leaving me, but I tried to usher it back into my lungs as I stared at the familiar face in front of me. Helplessly doing everything he could to help me. I nodded. “Then relax. I know saying things like that doesn’t help a whole lot, but just try. I’m concerned. Remember what I said about protecting you?” I nodded and tried to take a breath. “Well it’s hard to protect you when I’m not there. I feel helpless being here. I want to be there, Eren. So that’s why I’m worried. It’s not because of anything you did.” I felt a little of the pressure ease off of me and I managed a breath. 

“What else is bothering you? We need to talk things through now, before they get worse. Okay?” I nodded and pulled my knees up to my chest. The key tied around my neck bounced as I moved around. 

“I…had that dream last night. It was awful. It was about my dad.” I mumbled. Levi nodded and stayed silent so I could continue. “I…I couldn’t get to you…Or my phone.” I tried to stay calm. I really did, but I felt a tear find it’s way down my cheek.

“Eren…”

“Mikasa was there too…He was beating the shit out of me again, Levi. I was helpless…but…b-but…” I just couldn’t get the words out. I pulled the pillow close to me and pressed my face into it. The tension felt like it was leaving my body as I talked to Levi about it, but those last few sentences lingered on the tip of my tongue. I feared the consequences. Everything was going so well. What if he never came back to me? What if he really did pity me? I gasped and pushed my face down into the pillow, letting my phone fall to the bed.

“EREN! EREN! What’s wrong?!” I heard his voice echo through the room and I just sat there, paralyzed by the fear of uncertainty. Who was I to expect things from Levi anyways? He was practically a stranger to me still…hell I didn’t even know his birthday! I sobbed into the pillow. He didn’t have to come home to a brat that couldn’t even cook or clean for himself. It’d probably be better if I just packed up and left him alone. Then he could just go and flourish with his manga career and be happy. He wouldn’t be weighed down by worry. I hiccupped and heard the line go dead. It was over. I let out a wail. Maybe it was for the better. Who knew? All I knew was that I felt a crushing weight on my chest. I felt like I was dying. And I was terrified. Terrified of the future. Where would I go? Who would I run to now? I felt my mind going fuzzy from the lack of oxygen…


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Eren's panic attacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My life with this story *Add word to dictionary, Add word to dictionary, Add word to dictionary...* Hahahaha!!! 
> 
> But I wouldn't have it any other way <3 
> 
> May be a couple to a few days for the next update unless I can get quite a bit written up. I'm pretty strict on keeping up with writing 5-6 chapters ahead (in case life grabs a hold with college and work) and everything falls apart. So I want to try to catch that back up. I know it sounds crazy, but I guess I'm a control freak like Levi. I hate the unpredictable. 
> 
> As always love bugs, comments are encouraged!!! :3 And also- Just a quick question. Do you guys prefer longer chapters or shorter ones? I can break up the longer ones of they are too much of a drag to read! Please let me know!!! I need feedback!!

“Eren! LISTEN TO HIM!” Hanji shook me and pressed the phone up to my ear.

“FUCKING LISTEN TO ME BRAT!” Levi sounded pissed now. I just wanted to sleep. I was drifting, the lack of oxygen in my system was making me light headed. “Don’t get any stupid ideas. I don’t know what the fuck is running through your head, but listen to me!” Hanji was jamming the phone against my ear and I could hear his voice loud and clear. I sobbed and gripped the pillow harder. “I’ve been there. I’ve gone through some tough shit Eren. I’ve been in some dark places in my own mind, but I’ve had friends to help pull me back out! You’ve got us Eren! I’m not going to let you fall away!” I felt a sob rip through me and the weight on the bed shifted. Warm arms were around me, and the angle of the phone had moved. 

“Me either Eren…” Hanji whispered. Her arms were smaller compared to Levi’s and she smelled sweeter, like coconut. Her bangs hung low and tickled my face as I looked up at her in shock. 

“We are ALL here for you. We’ve all been through rough shit in our lives, and we’ve all been there for each other. But Eren, listen closely to this…” I sniffled and I felt Hanji rub my back. “I care about you, more than I’ve cared about any other person before, okay? That means something. I know we haven’t been together for long...but I just feel right with you. I feel like I can be myself with you. I really like you, and I like spending time with you. So please, just hang in there, okay?” 

“L-Levi.” I choked out his name and squeezed the pillow. I just felt overwhelmed. There were too many feelings swirling around in my head. I couldn’t speak them all at once. My heart was breaking and being repaired all at once. “You promise you-you won’t leave…that you’ll come back to me…” I whimpered. I was desperate now. Desperate after he’d said that. My heart was aching for him. It hurt so badly. I couldn’t believe I was about to let him go!

“Of course I will come back Eren. You have the other piece of me.” My hand went up to my chest and I whimpered. Why did this hurt so much? Why did it hurt to miss him?!

“He said…the only reason you were with me is because you pity me. I dreamt it, Levi…”

“You know that’s not true, Eren.” I nodded, and I knew only Hanji could see.

“Yeah…”

“If I didn’t admire everything about you, I wouldn’t have entered into a relationship with you. True, there are some things that needs improving, but everyone has those right? I’m sure I have a few things that get on your nerves.” I stayed silent as I thought back to things that Levi may have done to irritate me and came up blank. I nodded again just to agree and wiped my tears away.

“Either way Eren, just know how much I care about you, okay?” 

“Okay. Thanks, Levi. I’m sorry about-“

“And stop fucking apologizing. It’s not your fault. You can’t help how you feel. Got it?” I hiccupped again and rubbed my eyes.

“Y-Yeah.”

“How’s your breathing now?” I inhaled and actually, my breath went in and out at a shaky, but steady rate. 

“It’s-better now. Thanks.”

“Good. Fuck. That was scary. Don’t do that again.” I felt a tinge of regret run through me, but I wasn’t about to let it trigger another attack. “Can I talk to Hanji for a minute, please?” 

“Yeah.” I motioned for Hanji to take the phone and pulled away from her. I needed some air. I heard them having a conversation and she was smiling.

She hung up the phone and I felt my stomach sink. Had Levi gone to bed?

“He’s going to skype you again! I’m going to go back to making the food! Hopefully Erwin hasn’t burned anything.” She ran down the stairs and I picked my phone back up. Levi popped up on my screen again. 

 

“Hey.”

“Hey.” I felt tired now. Scratch that. Completely fucking exhausted. I rubbed my red eyes as I stared at Levi.

“You look tired.” 

“So do you.” I muttered.

“Tired of being here.” he said sadly. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling the warmth of his hoodie against my skin. “Make sure you eat before you go to bed, okay.” I nodded and felt my eyes getting tired already.

“I feel like crap…” I said with a sigh.

“Eren, if you need to, stay home tomorrow. You’ve had a rough couple of days.” I nodded and made a mental note to switch off my alarm.

“I think I will…I feel like I could sleep for three days straight.” 

“Go get some dinner and sleep. I’ll talk to you in the morning, alright?”

“I don’t want to say goodbye.” I frowned and leaned against the pillows.

“Me either, but if you are tired, then you need to rest.” He ran his hand through his hair and gave me a soft smile. “I can call you as soon as I wake up in the morning if you like? I  
know you need to sleep, but you can always rest after we talk.”

“Please. That would be great.” I yawned after I said it and settled into the covers.

“Sure thing. Now go eat before you fall asleep.” My eyes opened and stared into Levi’s. He smiled at me and blew me a kiss. “If you need anything, I’m a call away.” 

“Thanks, Levi.”

“Goodnight Eren. Sweet dreams.”

“Night Levi.” He hung up the call and I climbed out of bed and went down stairs to find Hanji spooning some curry over a plateful of rice in front of Erwin. I quickly ate my dinner, after being sure to thank both of them, and hurried upstairs to bed. Everything was spinning around me because I was so tired. I somehow managed to plug my phone in, but then I fell into the blankets before I could even turn the lights off. I didn’t have another panic attack that night.

 

A few days later

Hanji and Erwin had shared the sofa that night to give me some space. Levi called at 4AM that morning to tell me good morning. It surprised me, but hearing his voice was enough to make me smile and pull myself underneath the covers completely. I turned the lights the rest of the way off after we had finished our conversation. I had a couple of small panic attacks throughout the week, but they passed quickly, thanks to a quick call to Levi. The rest of the week passed by at a snail’s pace. 

Eventually, Saturday rolled around and it was Levi’s last book signing. I was on the couch sketching for once. I had picked up my book from the studio and brought it home Friday night, and hadn’t stopped until the odd hours of the morning. I had picked it back up as soon as I was awake again. Inspiration did strike at odd moments sometimes. I knew they weren’t near as good as Levi’s drawings, but I enjoyed drawing anime. I was drawing Kirito from Sword Art Online right now. It was therapeutic to draw anime characters. The sharp lines and careful shading you put in to them were not very similar to regular portraits. They had their own unique style. Their own form. It was neat and clean. Very mechanical and very controlled. I could tell why Levi was excellent at it. I had looked very closely at his manga last night and noticed how obsessive he must have been about each and every page. There wasn’t even a visible smudge or misplaced line on a single drawing. I was beginning to question whether or not he was actually obsessive compulsive. He was actually starting to tick quite a few of the boxes in my mind. I remember watching a special on it with Mikasa one night.  
I pulled up the disorder on my phone.

“Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is characterized by unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead you to do repetitive behaviors (compulsions). It's also possible to have only obsessions or only compulsions and still have OCD. OCD often centers around themes, such as a fear of getting contaminated by germs.” – Mayo Clinic  
Oh…well maybe it’s just a coincidence. I put the phone back in my pocket and returned to my drawing, but I couldn’t get the thought to leave my head. Maybe I would talk to Levi about it later. He was being so helpful to me after all. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and I pulled it out. Levi’s face was lighting up the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hey, brat.” 

“What’s up?” I heard him chuckle.

“Nothing much. I’m done for the day. Care for a surprise?” I frowned and looked down at my sketchbook.

“What is it?” He stayed silent on the other end and I heard keys turning in the lock. I dropped my phone and ran to the door. I was in his arms before he could even bring his suitcase inside. I nearly crumpled against him and every emotion threatened to escape right there in the doorway, but I pushed it back. I just wanted to welcome him home without tears at least.

“Welcome home! I missed you!” I hugged him tight and he rested his head on my shoulder for a moment. His scent enveloped me, swirling around me, hugging me tight, just like he was. “Levi…”

“Let me close the door.” He whispered softly. I felt the cool breeze now and saw the few lone snowflakes drifting inside. I nodded and reluctantly let go. He pulled his suitcase inside and shut and locked the door behind him. He looked good as always, but I could tell he was worn out. He had circles under his eyes and he looked paler than usual. He tugged his suitcase into the living room and just left it there. I stood there for a second and stared at him as he picked up my mess off of the floor. 

“I’m sorry! I got excited…” He was smiling as he gathered my cell phone, sketchbook and drawing supplies from the floor and piled them neatly on the couch.

“I figured, brat. Usually you don’t just leave your phone in the floor.” He walked over to me and stuffed the phone in my pocket before taking my hand and pulling me toward the stairs.

“L-Levi! What-“ We were going up the stairs now and I nearly tripped.

“I’m not wasting any time. I’ve missed you.” I DID trip on the last step and almost pulled Levi down with me. He yanked me to my feet and we stumbled back towards the bed. He pulled his messenger bag off and let it drop by his side of the bed with a thud. My hand was still in his and he pulled me up against him now, right up against the edge of the bed as he stood against it. “The bed is a mess…” My face went red. The whole house was a mess. I’m sure he saw it when he walked in. I just couldn’t bring myself to go about our morning routine without him.

“I…couldn’t clean without you…” I said it with my eyes closed, fearing harsh words or consequences. 

“Eren…it’s okay…” Instead I felt his fingers comb through my hair. I cracked my eyes open to look into his. “I know it’s been rough on you. Eren...Don’t ever be scared of me.” His hand left my hair and gently caressed my cheek. “I’m never going to hurt you. Intentionally at least. So there is no need to fear me.” He wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me closer, tilting his forehead against mine. 

“Your right…it’s just…”

“A reaction?”

“Yeah…” Before I had a minute to process the thought, his lips were on mine, making all thoughts leave my mind. His tongue was licking over my lip and my felt heat flooding my cheeks. I was so close to him. I could feel his muscles flex as we kissed. I parted my lips and my knees nearly buckled when I was granted with that sweet taste that only Levi provided. That sweet perfect kiss that only Levi knew how to give me. Our tongues danced together and my mind got lost into the kiss and apparently, so had my knees. I was leaning against him completely now. I felt him smirk into the kiss, and without warning, he let his own knees give out and we fell onto the bed with a thud. 

He kept his hand planted firmly on the back of my head and refused to let me pull away and all I could do was let out a surprised moan. I was on top of Levi! I felt the blood rushing to my face. My heart was pounding in my chest. God I’d missed him. I pushed back into the kiss, feeling that hunger begin to take over and our legs tangled together. He let out a little moan into our kiss and I felt his hand grip my shirt. He forced our mouths apart and reluctantly rolled me over to his side. We were both panting and breathless, and I smiled when I saw Levi’s pink face. 

“E-Eren…we…we should stop…or ugh…slow down…” He ran his hand across my cheek again and I swallowed hard. I had goose bumps and my eyes couldn’t help but dart back towards his lips. I couldn’t stop myself. I leaned over him again and pressed our lips together and I felt his heavy breath against my mouth before it enveloped me completely. 

“Mhmm-“ His hand gripped my hair tight. I couldn’t stop. I wanted more. I was addicted to his taste and to the movement of his tongue against mine, his lips against mine. The warmth of his body pressed against mine. I felt so safe here, and it was almost ironic. Just the thought that I could feel so safe giving up so much of myself to someone and being so close. Trusting someone this much.

“Eren!” Levi pulled away and put his hand on my shoulder. His face was red now and he had a look in his eyes that I’d never seen before. “Please. We need to take a break.” I nodded and frowned. Had I done something wrong? I pulled away from him. “Let’s get under the covers.” I guess I hadn’t upset him too bad… We pulled our legs up onto the bed and after we fixed the blankets and pillows, I climbed into Levi’s arms. His face had calmed to softer shade of red, but it was still glowing. 

“Sorry…” He smiled and guided my head down to his shoulder.

“Don’t be. I love kissing you. I really do…it was just moving too fast.” Moving too fast? I thought I was kissing him slow enough. 

“So kiss you slower next time?” I looked up at him and he laughed.

“Eren…that’s not what I’m trying…I didn’t want it to go beyond kissing…I don’t want to push you too fast.” If faces could turn instantly purple, I’m sure mine just did. Was I an idiot or what?! I pushed my face into his shoulder and hid. He ruffled my hair. “I want you to take your time. It’s your first relationship. There’s absolutely no need to rush, so we aren’t going to.” 

“But I like to kiss you…a lot.” I said it into his shoulder. I couldn’t bare to look him in the face as I said it. I heard him chuckle. 

“I do too, but let’s just take it slow for now. Okay?” 

“How much longer?” he sighed and began rubbing his fingers over my scalp, rubbing gentle circles. 

“When you decide you are ready.”

“Now.”

“Eren…” I groaned and looked up at him.

“I’m ready to kiss you now.” he pulled his arm away from me for a moment and dropped down below the covers with me so he was at eye level.

“I realized that earlier, brat.” I stared into those stunning grey eyes. They were pretty much back to normal now, no longer hazed over like they had been before. He placed a brief  
kiss to my lips before pulling back. His arms were still around my waist though, holding me just right under the covers. “I’ll make you a deal.” I raised my eyebrow and licked my lips. “I’ll let you kiss me all afternoon if-“

“Deal.”

“Eren!” He narrowed his eyes and poked my forehead. “Listen to what I have to say brat!” I smiled.

“Fine. I was joking!” He smiled back at me.

“You need to tell me about the panic attacks. From start to finish.” My hand tightened around his arm. He would do that. I sighed and wiggled uncomfortably in his grasp. I nodded and snuggled closer to him, resting my head against his shoulder.

“Where do I start?” I felt his hand in my hair and I shuddered, then I took a deep breath. He was wrapped completely around me and it was almost laughable. I was completely confined and nearly restrained by Levi right now, but I could breathe deep. I was protected. “I guess…my dream triggered everything.”

“You think you had the nightmare because I was gone?” I thought for a moment. 

“No. I don’t think so actually. I think I would’ve have had it either way. I think I would have had the panic attack too.” He agreed and kept playing with my hair. 

“I don’t know…It’s like there’s this constant fear…it’s not so bad right now.” I pulled back to look at him and he nodded. “But when I have those things…it’s like…I feel like I’m being crushed by it. Like I’m going to die from being scared. I don’t know…It’s stupid.”

“No. It’s not. Don’t say things like that.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Panic attacks are serious.” I nodded and pushed my face back against his chest.

“I feel so…constricted. My chest gets tight. I can’t breathe. I can’t think straight. I start to worry about everything. Even things that don’t make sense…Everything just spirals out of control…That’s basically it.” 

“So pretty much we need to focus on making you feel safe then?”

“I don’t know for sure what will help…Hanji suggested a bunch of things.” I frowned and hugged close to him. “I know being close to you helps. I don’t feel scared. I know you won’t let anyone hurt me…” I felt him nuzzle the top of my head.

“Of course I won’t. Why don’t we try a psychiatrist? Maybe a joint meeting?” I gripped his shirt tight. It was hard enough talking to him about it. 

“I…I don’t know…”

“Only if you want to…I have a few things I’d like to meet about as well. I used to meet mine on a regular basis. He’s really nice. I haven’t been able to go for a while, so maybe it’d be a good chance. You can tag along if you want.” What? Levi goes to a psychiatrist? And he’s inviting me to go? That was a really personal situation, and he was letting me into  
that aspect of his life.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt…I’ve never been though. I won’t know what to say.” I mumbled it into his chest. 

“He’ll guide you along. You’ll be fine. I’ll be right there with you. So you want me to book the double appointment?” 

“Y-Yeah. If you think it will help…” he ruffled my hair again and I felt him moving beside me, digging for his phone. 

“What?! NOW?”

“Why not?” He was smiling as he thumbed through his contacts. He hit the call button and I couldn’t protest any further. He booked the appointment for Tuesday at 12. At least I’d get to skip school with a written excuse. Nice job, Levi. He hung up with a thank you and smiled at me. “Just make sure you take your excuse and get all of your make up work for that day. We also have your appointment Monday evening after school.” My heart fluttered for a second. That’s right! As of Monday, I would officially be free of this damn cast! I smiled at Levi and he pulled me close again. 

“Okay, I’ll make everything up.” 

“So…there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about, Eren.” Oh…that sounded serious. His eyes met mine as he sunk back into the spot by my side and wrapped his arms around me again.

“Yeah?” He put his fingers under my chin and held them there as he kissed me for a moment, making my mind go blank for a second.

“Mhmm…oh yeah…So…Valentine’s Day is coming up.” Oh yeah, tomorrow was February 1st. It was right around the corner. “So, I was going to ask your whole opinion on the holiday.” I blushed and pushed my face into his chest. “So I take it that it’s a romantic day for you?”

“NO! I-I mean…That’s not what I meant! It’s never been! I mean I’ve never! UGH!” He snickered and pressed another kiss to my lips to ease my flustered expression.

“What I meant to say was, do you want me to make it romantic this year, or do you just want to go out and have fun? Usually Hanji, Erwin, and I go out and find something to do. I heard there was supposed to be something called a Rock n’ Rave at Club Stohess in Shinganshina that night. If you want to go. If you want to have a date night, that’s fine with me also. I just don’t want to pressure you into the whole ‘3 course dinner out with your boyfriend’ thing.” I nodded and clung to him. I thought back to the rave in New York and how much fun we both had had that night….minus Hanji puking. 

“H-How about a combination?” He raised his eyebrow.

“How do you expect me to do that, Jaeger?”

“Surprise me.” I shrugged. “Well…maybe not the dinner out…I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet…” he smiled and leaned in to capture my lips again. 

“Oh, well if you want a surprise, then you’ll get one. I don’t disappoint, Eren.” he said with a smirk.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has his two appointments for the week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, this one was a challenge to edit. I've been trying to catch up with writing, so I wrote first. Usually I edit and post, then move on to writing, but I was so excited, I couldn't help it! This is a long one too! Enjoy! Sorry if there are any errors! I've been going strong since 8AM and its nooooow 4:30?? 
> 
> Yeah <3 
> 
> And, It was supposed to have nice little check boxes and be neat and everything BUT that didn't work out...you'll see what I mean. Yeah.
> 
> Also keep up with the comments as usual! Let me know what you think! This is one of my favorite chapters! :D

 

Monday came quicker than I expected it to. We began the day together as we did every Monday with our regular cleaning routine. I scrubbed harder than I usually did, getting every nook and cranny clean. Eren was straightening up the living room, dusting off the entertainment center as he usually did. He looked excited. I guess he was happy to be getting his cast off. Damn. The house was disgusting. I frowned as I scrubbed the counters, putting every ounce of concentration into getting even the tiniest specs of grime out.

“L-Levi?”

“WHAT?!” I heard Eren whimper behind me. SHIT. My eyes went wide as I dropped the sponge and turned around. “SHIT! Eren! I’m Sorry!”

“N-No…I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have bothered you…” He had his messenger bag thrown over his shoulder…Wait…

“Wait! Are you leaving?!”

“Yeah…” FUCK. I ripped off my gloves and threw them in the sink. Had I really scrubbed that same fucking spot for two hours?!

“SHIT. Eren. I’m So Sorry.” I felt my hands beginning to tremble. My fucking cleanliness had caused Eren to miss breakfast. “I didn’t get to cook for you…” I frowned and took his hand in mine. “I fucked up…”

“Really. It’s fine.” He gave me a warm smile, but I still felt like shit on the inside. I wanted to rip my hair out. UGH. I walked him to the door.

“Have a good day. I’ll meet you at the doctor at 4.” I gave him a kiss before he left and turned my attention back to the kitchen. That counter was going to pay for making Eren unhappy…

 

Later that day

I waited patiently for Eren to arrive in the doctor’s office. There were a few people already waiting, including a snotty little kid in a full arm cast. He kept glaring at me. Eventually Eren did arrive and after signing in, he took a seat beside me. The kid played calmly with his teddy bear (as well as he could with a full cast), but he kept shooting me glances. Eren smiled and waved at him. I just crossed my arms and turned away. Damn kid.

“Eren Jaeger.” We stood up and followed the nurse back. The doctor came in just a few minutes later and sat down with us in the room.

“Are you ready to have the cast off Eren?” He asked as he looked over the file.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Sit tight.” Within a few moments, after a bit of sawing with a special tool, his cast came off cleanly. “Do you want to keep it, or trash it?” Eren frowned as he stared at the grim reminder of what happened that night and the doctor tossed it in the trash. “Let’s take an x-ray and we’ll see where we are at.” They ushered him off to a different part of the building and left me waiting alone for a while, and eventually Eren came back to me alone. He kept rubbing his wrist.

“It feels weird.” I stood up and walked over to the exam table. Who knows where the doctor and his nurse walked off to and how long they’d be gone. I rubbed his lower back as he stared at his wrist. It looked weak and fragile compared to the rest of his body due to weeks of not being used.

“It’ll be back to normal soon. It just takes time.” What was I referring to really? His wrist or life? We had fallen into a nice little routine that seemed to be working well for us in the most part. Time would help heal some of his pain, but I don’t know if it would ever go away completely. He was frowning as his fingers ran over his skin and I pressed my body up against his. This finally drew his attention away.

“L-Levi! They could come back in any second!”

“And?” I grinned and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. His cheeks were turning red. “Why am I supposed to care what they think?” I walked around to face him and his eyes got wide. I leaned down and gave him a quick kiss before returning to my seat, just in time for the doctor to return.

“Good news! It’s completely healed up. You won’t need a brace or anything like that. Are you having any pain?” Eren shook his head. “Good. It may take a little while to get all movement back. Just take it easy. Don’t overwork the muscles where they haven’t been used in so long.” He shook both of our hands again, which I really didn’t like, but I put up with, and we left. As soon as we were outside I sanitized my hands.

 

Eren smiled at me as I offered him some. He rubbed his hands together and after they were dry he timidly took my hand in his as we began out walk back home.

“So…this is okay?” I smiled and walked close to him.

“Yeah. This is fine.” My mind darted back to that night we were followed and I drew a little closer to him. I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt Eren while I was around.

“Levi…can I talk to you about something?” he looked around us as we walked, his cheeks pink, and his messenger bag bouncing on his side.

“Sure.”

“It’s about that night…”

“Mhmm…I was just thinking about the same thing actually.” Could this kid read my mind?

“It was pretty scary.”

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” I looked over to him and gave his hand a squeeze. He frowned and stopped walking. We were passing in front of the park now.

“Will you-” he sighed and ran his other hand through his hair. It was odd to see it without the cast for once. He seemed frustrated. I frowned. Maybe I had actually upset him this morning after all.

“What is it?” I pushed him to continue and he let go of my hand and walked into the park. I followed after him. “Eren!” We stopped in front of the fountain and he leaned over the side and stared at it in silence for a moment. “Eren….”

“You talk like my life is the only one that matters. That’s not true, Levi.” He looked over at me with sad eyes. I wanted to pull him into my arms and tell him that it would be okay, but right now I was the one he was upset with. I sighed and turned my gaze away from him. I’d never really been an object of my own self-worth. I wasn’t high on my own list. “Levi! Look at me!” His voice was sharp. Nearly as sharp as those turquoise eyes. I had never heard him raise his voice to me like that before.

I turned to face him and our eyes connected. Grey met turquoise and both were overwhelmed with emotion. “Levi…Your life means everything.” I felt something inside me twist and contort. Something inside my chest nearly turned inside out. I felt his eyes staring straight into me. “I don’t want anything to happen to you either, so please be careful. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He was desperately looking into my eyes now. “So please…” He reach for my hand again. It wasn’t like him to do this in a public place. To be so open. It was a warmer day and there were quite a few people out enjoying their afternoon walks, taking their dogs out. He only had a hint of a blush. I could tell how serious he was.

“I get it. I’ll be more careful.” I took his hand and he nodded. He didn’t move from the spot though. “I don’t always think clearly when I get in heated situations, Eren.” I took a step closer to him. “I just dive in and protect what’s dear to me. It’s instinct. I just make the choice I think I’ll regret the least.” A shade of pink began to flood his cheeks again and by that I knew that the situation was beginning to lighten. I put my arms around his waist and pulled him into a hug.

“P-People are looking.” He mumbled into my ear.

“Let them look. Besides, you were the one that was just yelling about how much I meant to you and how you didn’t want me hurt, brat.” I felt the heat radiating off of his face and I chuckled at his embarrassment. “It’s just a hug, Eren.” He relaxed into it, and although it was ‘just a hug’, we lingered there for quite a while, wrapped in each other’s arms by the fountain.

 

The next day

Eren’s POV

The rest of the day yesterday after my appointment was…odd. Levi is one hell of a boyfriend to put up with my emotional outbursts with no questions. It could have easily turned into a fight, but he stays calm and talks everything out with me. He lets me sort through that swirl of emotions and thoughts in my mind without questioning me. Sometimes he just takes me into his arms when I’m too frustrated to speak and gives me time think it through. I don’t know where he finds the patience to deal with me.

He told me that he would be more careful and he wouldn’t rush into things to blindly protect me. That made me feel better. I feel safer now. I know he’ll still protect me now, but maybe he’ll try to think things through a little more. We stood by the fountain for a while yesterday. He said it was ‘just a hug.’ But the way his arms were settled around my waist just right and the way mine clung to his back like that, it seemed like more than a hug to me. Either way, we stood there for a long time, talking things through, just enjoying the warmth coming off of each other.

 

Today, however, I didn’t feel so good about. It was 5 AM and I was already awake, staring at Levi as he slept beside me. It wasn’t often that I woke up before him, but today was one of those days. I was nervous to say the least. Psychiatrist visits did not sit well in my top 20 things to do. I must have turned at some point in the night, because I remember falling asleep with him up against my back. I could see his face now, sleeping peacefully. His hair was all over the place. During his sleep and first thing in the morning was the only time it was unruly. Every aspect of Levi’s life seemed controlled down to a T. Even his meal portions. I’m surprised he wasn’t controlling with me. He moved a bit in his sleep and turned. His arm crept further around me and pulled me closer to him. So warm.

“Mhmmm.” Levi let out a soft little noise and settled back into the pillows. He looked so different in the soft blue light cast by the night light. I pushed my face into his chest gently. I didn’t want anything to change between us. This was enough for me, but without risk, there wasn’t reward. If I didn’t open up to Levi, he wouldn’t open up to me. I was just so scared that he wouldn’t want to stick around after the appointment today. That the psychiatrist would reveal my inner thoughts to him and scare him off. Maybe the true depths of my mind were too much for him to deal with? “Eren?” His voice startled me and I jumped.

“Huh?”

“You are gripping onto my arm. Are you alright?” He moved his arm to rub at his eyes and looked at the clock. “Why are you up so early? We don’t have to clean today.”

“Just a little nervous. Can’t sleep…” He shifted against me and I felt his hair tickle my face.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

“I know…” I pressed my head into the crook of his neck and sighed. I could feel his pulse, it was still slow and seemed to be waking up, just like he was. He swallowed and his hand found my head. I let out a content sigh. I was more than happy to stay like this for the rest of the day and not go to the appointment.

“Want to watch some anime?” I groaned and held onto him.

“Yes and no.” He snickered and I could feel it echo around me. “I don’t want to go downstairs. It’s cold. It’s warm up here. I like to lay with you.” He let out a yawn.

“I agree. We can always watch it on my laptop, if you want to stay in bed. But I do need to use the bathroom.” I groaned again. I didn’t want to let him up. He was too warm. Crap…now that he mentioned it I had to pee too…funny how that worked.

“I have to go too…” He pulled away from me and pushed the covers off. The lamp was on in a few seconds and light flooded into the room. It was way too early to be up on a day when we could sleep in. I almost felt guilty about it.

Levi got up first and padded into the bathroom. I sat up on the bed and looked at my phone as I waited. 2 new texts.

**Armin: Good Luck with your appointment today! Can’t wait to see you without your cast! If you need anything text or call.**

**Mikasa: Eren. Call me ASAP. It’s important.**

My stomach dropped at Mikasa’s text out of habit. I knew there probably wasn’t anything wrong, but still…

Levi came out of the bathroom and drew my attention away. His hair was perfectly combed now, and after a quick kiss to my cheek I could smell the fresh mint on his breath. I sat my phone down on the table and quickly copied Levi, minus combing my hair, because I really didn’t care, and ran back out to grab my phone. He was setting up the laptop on the bed, which he neatly made while I was in the bathroom. He raised an eyebrow at me as I clicked on Mikasa’s name.

“She told me to call. That it was important.” He nodded and kept clicking around. I sat down on the edge of the bed.

 

“Hello?”

“Hey…” I heard yelling in the background. It was dad. Just hearing his voice made me shudder. “Hang on.” I heard her sit the phone down. “Dad! Will you calm down! I’m on the phone!” He grumbled something else and she returned. “Sorry, Eren.”

“What’s up? Is everything okay?”

“I want to say yes, but it’s not…” my stomach sank even further. I wrapped my other arm around my stomach, readying myself for impact. I didn’t take bad news well. I went ahead and put the phone on speaker, my life was an open book to Levi now. I felt the mattress shift and Levi moved behind me. He wrapped his arms around me from behind me and in a way, gave me some of his strength as well. “We just opened the mail from yesterday. Well it turns out one of mom’s bills got delayed quite a bit…” I felt his hand intertwine with mine. “Eren…There’s no way…” Her voice was low. And then suddenly dad began cursing again and it made my skin crawl.

“Is that who you are talking to?! You better tell that bastard he needs to send money and pay for that shit!” Levi squeezed my hand and I choked back tears. “Piece of shit should have gotten a job years ago anyways. He’s worthless. Drawing pretty pictures won’t get you anywhere.”

“H-How much is it Mikasa?”

“$50,000…” I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Mom had insurance, and for that amount to have not been covered was insane. “Yeah, they said she went over the allotted amount for the year or something stupid…” I didn’t know what to say. Words couldn’t explain the emotions running through me.

“Eren…” Levi whispered it. His arms were the only thing holding me in one piece. Without those I’m sure I would have shattered right there.

“I’m going to go look for jobs after school today. Dad said he is going to pick up more hours.” This shouldn’t be happening! It wasn’t fair!

“I-I’ll go look for one too. After my appointment.” Levi squeezed my hand again.

“Eren…don’t push yourself. If you need more time, I understand. I just wanted to let you know what was going on.”

“No, really! I’m fine. I’ll check out a few places today. I can’t let everything fall onto you, Mikasa!”

“Thank you, Eren…”

“No Problem! I’ll keep you posted on the job hunt! I love you Mikasa!” I hadn’t said it in a while, but I meant it. From the depths of my heart I meant it. It hurt. It hurt to leave her there. The least I could do was get a job to help her shoulder the weight of the bill.

“I love you too. Good luck with your appointment. If you need me I’m here.” I hung up and paused for a moment, sitting in silence, giving my brain a moment to process everything that just happened. My phone slipped from my hand and landed on the floor with a thud. Levi was silent also, he just kept his arms wrapped around me as I sat there and stared across the room.

I didn’t know what to feel. Anger? Hate? Sadness? I knew what I did feel. I felt overwhelmed. I gave his hand a squeeze. And another. And another. And it became more of a nervous twitch and then I realized I was crying now, frantically wiping away tears, again. Surely he was tired of seeing me crying. Surely he was tired of this shit.

“S-Sorry…”

“Eren…There’s nothing to apologize for.” He dropped off of the bed and came to stand in front of me. Right up against me. He pulled me so close to him, and caressed my head as I cried. I pressed my head right up against his stomach and my arms were wrapped around his lower back. Levi was my rock. Where would I be without him?

“T-This is too much…” he agree and knelt down in front of me, wiping my tears away. “I-I do this too much…”

“No. You can’t let it build up. It’s fine. You are hurting. You have to let it out. You are going through a fucking awful time. It’s okay to cry.”

“I cry almost every day! I know it has to get annoying.” He gave me a soft smile.

“Not if it helps you. It’s part of being here for you. And I am, every part of the way.” My stomach did a flip. “It’s part of the healing process. Eventually there will be days where you won’t cry. I’m looking forward to those.” He ran his fingertips along my cheek and pressed a kiss to my lips. I choked and threw my arms around his neck.

“Levi!” he kissed my cheek. “Why does life have to be so cruel? $50,000?! That’s insane!” he nodded against me.

“That is insane. I’d offer it to you, but that amount my parents would definitely notice.”

“I wouldn’t take it anyways. It’s not your burden to s-shoulder. It’s my families.”

“You are more of a family to me than my real family is, Eren.” I whimpered and he hugged me tight. We sat there for a few minutes, and eventually I was calm enough to speak clearly.

“If the appointment goes well, can I look for a job after?” Levi raised his eyebrow.

“Yeah, I guess so. We’ll see how you feel, okay?” I nodded and he finally stood up. “Now how about a few episodes of Sword Art Online?” he said with a smile.

 

A few hours later

I kept tapping my foot nervously in the waiting room. I couldn’t help it. Levi was scrolling through his phone, and I had done so for a little while, but I was too nervous to sit very still now.

“Levi, Eren.” We stood and followed the nurse back. I guess she was a nurse. I have no idea. She wasn’t dressed like a nurse. She asked us both the regular set of questions, and I noticed the particularly thick folder in her hands with Levi’s name on it. She led us back to a room and handed us both a clipboard with a pen to fill out, and she left. I frowned at it.

“Answer it truthfully, if you have any questions, I’m right here. Don’t be afraid to ask.” I nodded and began reading over the sheet.

               

\- I felt very sad, unhappy and low for most of the day, nearly every day.  
-  The activities that used to interest me no longer provided pleasure and enjoyment.  
-  I had severe trouble sleeping or slept too much.  
-  I experienced cloudy thinking and had trouble concentrating.  
-  I felt slowed down compared to my usual pace.  
\- I felt worthless.

-I had recurrent thoughts of death, dying, and suicide.  
  
-  The above symptoms caused problems in my life or were distressing to me.  
\- I have experienced episodes of the above symptoms on more than one occasion, with more     than two months in between episodes  
\- I experienced extreme mood swings from depression to elation without any apparent reason.  
\- I felt that these symptoms interfered with my life in some way, or they caused me distress.  
\- I experienced extreme unease and apprehension about a variety of situations and experiences.  
               
-  When feeling anxious, I felt unable to reassure myself.  
               
\- I felt unusually restless, irritable, tense, or distractible.  
               
-  The anxiety and related problems caused problems in my life, and/or caused me emotional pain.  
               
\- I experienced one or more sudden episodes of extreme fear or panic in which I was trembling, sweating, experiencing heart palpitations or other physical symptoms, and felt like I was going to lose control or die.  
               
-  I have been fearful that I will experience another episode of extreme panic like I have in the past.  
               
-  I limited my behavior in an attempt to ward off another attack.  
               
\- Certain places or situations made me feel trapped or in danger.  
               
-  I avoided these places as a result.  
   
-  I had disturbing recollections about a traumatic event I experienced in the past.  
               
\- I had disturbing dreams about a traumatic event I experienced in the past.  
               
-  I relived the horror of a traumatic event I experienced in the past.  
               
\- If reminded of the traumatic event, I felt extremely distressed and/or experienced physical symptoms, such as a racing heart or dizziness.  
               
-  I tried to avoid any situation, image, discussion, or other stimulus that reminded me of the traumatic event.  
               
\- I experienced difficulty relaxing, sleeping, and/or concentrating, or was more easily startled as a result of my traumatic experience.  
 

 

I went through the questions one by one. Should I be worried I was checking so many? I began tapping my pen nervously. Levi rested his hand on my leg.

“Eren. It’s okay. Relax.” I sighed and looked down at the last page. Well…at least I didn’t have any eating disorders that I knew of. That’s good. I clipped the paper back to the clipboard and set it on the table and Levi did the same with his. He took my hand in his, and usually I’d be scared that the doctor would walk in and see us, but seeing that I was going to be telling this guy my life story, I didn’t really care. I needed my anchor. He gave me a smile and I scooted closer. We heard a knock on the door and a blonde guy in a suit walked in.

“Dr. Zacharius, nice to meet you.” He shook my hand and I saw Levi’s eyes drop down. “Levi. It’s been a while.” He shook Levi’s hand as well and I could tell Levi was cringing inside. Levi reach for the sanitizer on the table and I sighed. “Mind if I look over these?” he motioned towards the clipboards and picked them up. He didn’t really have much of an expression as he looked over Levi’s but he was making notes in his notepad. Mine, however, made his mouth turn into a frown.

“Okay. We’ll let’s start with Levi first. I’m assuming these visits are joint so nothing is confidential, correct?” We both nodded and Levi took my hand again. I could see a bit of nervousness filling him. Mike flipped through the old chart and the new questionnaire. “So you’ve developed some new symptoms then, Levi?” he frowned and nodded.

“Yeah…”

“How is the depression?”

“Not as bad as it was. It’s still there. I have my ups and downs, but it’s nothing compared to what it was.”

“Good. Good. What about the suicidal thoughts?” The word struck my heart hard. Like a rock shattering a window. Levi’s life was precious to me, so I couldn’t imagine anything happening to him.

“The same. A lot better. Every now and again, I’ll have an off day, but it’s been a while. Having Eren around has helped a lot.”

“So you are in a relationship?”

“Yes.”

“And that’s going well?”

“I’m very happy with the way it’s going right now. The relationship at least.” He said with a frown. He nodded and looked over the sheet.

“When did the cleaning start?” Levi sighed and started playing with a button on his jacket.

“I always cleaned…just not to the extent that I do now. I can’t really remember.”

“You can’t pinpoint a trigger?” Levi frowned and tried to think.

“Not really…just the last couple of years it’s gotten worse.”

“So after your grandmother passed away?” Levi squeezed my hand.

“Y-Yeah. I guess so.”

“Eren, may I ask a question?” I threw me off guard. I blinked a few times and nodded. “How often does Levi clean? He has a rather small apartment, right? One bedroom?” I nodded again.

“We clean 3 times a week. We usually get up around 4:30 or so Monday, Wednesday and Friday.”

“And how long do you clean for those days?” I frowned. Was this a trick? I didn’t want to get Levi in trouble.

“Well I usually clean until I have to get ready for school. Levi usually cleaned until he had to get ready for work, but he doesn’t work right now, so I’m not sure when he stops…”

“Levi…would you like to tell Eren when you stop cleaning?” He gave my hand another squeeze and sighed.

“Fuck…I clean right up until it’s time to shower and leave to meet you at the studio…” My eyes went wide.

“That’s…That’s like 10 hours! Three times a week?!” He looked away.

“Levi, I think it’s fair to say you have OCD.”

“No shit…” The doctor smiled and began scribbling on a notepad.

“My suggestion to you is to get back out of the house or break the pattern of cleaning. Either one. Cleaning isn’t a bad thing. Just not excessively. And begin taking this.” Levi frowned as he took the slip in his hand. “Maybe taking you off of everything wasn’t a good idea. This will help treat the depression as well as the OCD. It’s like a two in one.” He nodded and put the slip on the table. The doctor then turned his gaze towards me.

“Okay, Eren. You are a new patient, so I know nothing about you besides what is on this sheet. Levi booked extra time today, so we have plenty. It seems like you have quite a bit you need to get off of your chest?” I squeezed Levi’s hand. This was going to be a lot harder than I had imagined. I just gave a nod. “So, obviously you seem quite nervous to be here today?” I nodded again. “You said you keep remembering a traumatic event. Care to elaborate on that?” I frowned and slouched back against the couch.

“M-My dad. He ummm…he abused me.”

“How so?” Why was this so fucking hard? UGH!

“He would just get angry at first, call me names, then he would beat me around. Eventually…it got really bad. I had to leave.”

“So the traumatic event is the abuse?” I nodded and looked over at Levi. He was stroking my hand with his thumb. The psychiatrist flipped through the questionnaire. “And you said you are feeling unusually sad?” I nodded. “Even to the point of suicide?”

“It’s…complicated.” I could feel Levi staring into me. I hadn’t exactly told him about that…

“Explain it to me.”

“Well…I’m happy sometimes, but when I get down, I’m really down. I haven’t had a day where I haven’t cried. I feel like I’m…worthless…it’s like my dad has beaten it into my mind or something. I know in my heart it’s not true, but…I don’t know…The thoughts of suicide mostly come with the anxiety attacks…” He kept writing things down in his notebook.

“I see. So these panic attacks are bad? How severe are they?” I frowned and looked at Levi.

“Well I just freeze up…I get so scared that I can’t breathe. I can’t think straight.”

“And you have thoughts of suicide?”

“I have…It’s flashed through my mind a couple of times. Anything I can do to make the fear stop. And the flashbacks.” I could feel my hand beginning to tremble now.

“Do you worry a lot, Eren?” I felt tears stinging at my eyes, but I wasn’t about to cry in front of a complete stranger. No way in hell was I going to crack.

“Y-Yeah.”

“About what?” I whimpered and stayed silent. I let go of Levi’s hand and cupped my face in my hands.

“Eren…” Levi urged me. I felt his hand rubbing circles on my back, but I still didn’t want to speak.

“I-I…there’s too much to even say.” My hands moved to my hair and I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Okay, well here’s where we will stop for the day then. I’m going to go ahead and give you some homework right now, Eren.” I opened my eyes to look at him. “Your goal is to buy a journal, it can have a lock if you so desire to keep Levi out, or not, if you trust him. You can even encourage Levi to read the journal. I’m going to leave that up to you. But this isn’t going to be a regular journal. You are going to list all of the things that you worry about, as soon as you think about them.” I nodded. I didn’t see how this was going to help, but maybe he had an idea.

“In the meantime, I’m going to write you some prescriptions. In my own professional opinion, you have multiple disorders. These disorders, major depressive disorder, anxiety and panic disorder, and well as post-traumatic stress disorder are all working together to throw your emotions off kilter. That’s why you keep having mood swings.” I nodded. “Some of these mood swings are caused by lack of serotonin in the brain. We are going to try to balance that out. The other disorders however, like PTSD can only be helped with therapy. We will continue to work on that, if you wish to do so?” I looked over at Levi and he smiled.

He was still here by my side. He hadn’t run away yet. Maybe he would stay. He’d heard some pretty big dark secrets so far, so maybe he was serious about sticking it out.

“O-Okay…I think another appointment is okay.”

“Good. How about we make the next one for after school then?” Levi took over the scheduling and my mind went numb with thoughts. We had been in here too long. Was it me or were these walls closing in. “Eren, it was nice to meet you. Levi-I’ll save the handshake for next time.” He said with a smile. Levi waved and we gathered up our things and excited the office.

We were out into the cool air before I knew it and I leaned back against the cement blocks of the building.

“Eren, you did great.”

“I froze up!” Levi gave me a small smile and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek.

“You gave him a hell of a lot more than I did on my first visit. You did fine.” Levi took my hand in his and laced our fingers together. “Still feel up to job hunting?” SHIT. Only I could forget about a looming debt of fifty fucking thousand dollars. I frowned and covered my eyes with my other arm.

“I forgot about that…”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

“No! Let’s go. It’s fine.” I gave Levi a smile. We began walking around. This street wasn’t too far from our house. It would be easy to walk it to and from work, so we decided to start here.

“Hmm…Mcdonalds?” he pointed.

“No.” I snarled my nose at him.

“Agreed.” We walked a bit further and came to a coffee shop nestled right next to a bright looking store. Levi’s mouth dropped open. “No fucking way!” He practically drug me towards the store. We stopped in front of the sign and the letters came into the view, as did the merchandise in the adjacent store. HOLY SHIT!!!! The two stores were actually joined together. The whole shop was named Anteiku. Why did that name sound familiar?

“It’s from Tokyo Ghoul.” Levi said as he peered at the sign in amazement. I don’t know if I’d ever seen him smile like that before. The merchandise side of the store was overflowing with Japanese candy, anime posters, merchandise, and everything any otaku could ever dream of.

“Very good! Who are you?” Levi’s gaze dropped down to the voice staring at him.

“Levi. This is Eren.”

“Nice to meet you! I own this place!” She said with a grin. “When I’m here anyways!” She winked at us. “I live in another town you see, so I’ve been driving back and forth. Anyways, a lot of people don’t get the name right off the bat! Are you a hardcore otaku?!” Levi grinned and played with his bangs.

“Well…I guess you could call us both hardcore otakus!”

“REALLY?!!” She began jumping up and down and pushed her broom against the side of the wall. She grabbed our joined hands and drug us inside the coffee shop side of the building. “Farlan! LOOK!”

“Stop dragging people in! If they come, let them come WILLINGLY!” He was scowling at her and rushed from behind the counter. Who was this girl anyway? Her spiky red hair in ponytails bounced almost as much as she did and her green eyes lit up as she smiled. Farlan stood in front of us, his blonde hair sticking up in every direction as he grabbed the girl by the collar, making her let us go. “Isabel! Stop! I’m very sorry!” He bowed to us and we both started laughing.

“No it’s fine!” I said with a grin. “This place is a dream! We actually ran here as soon as we saw it!”

“They are otakus Farlan!” Isabel said with a huff.

“Well let them come in on their own!” She pouted at him. Levi smiled at me and I looked around the small coffee shop.

“It smells amazing!” I said as I looked at the menu.

“Thanks! Feel free to order, or have a look around! Up to you.” Levi pushed me gently forward, encouraging me to ask.

“I-ugh…actually. I was wondering if you needed any help around the shop. I’m looking for a job.”

“WHAAAAAAT!!!!” Isabel screeched and began jumping up and down. She took my hands into hers and started spinning me in circles. “YES YES YES YES!!!!”

“Isabel!” Farlan stopped her and my head started to spin.

“I actually need someone for both sides. Maybe you are interested too?” She motioned towards Levi. His eyes got wide.

“He did suggest getting out of the house more…” Levi mumbled. “Sure, why not.” I smiled brightly. “As long as I can be on the same shifts as Eren.”

“Absolutely! YAAAAY!” She was dancing happily in place, maybe Farlan had convinced her to tone it down a bit.

“Hey Jaeger! What are you doing here?” I turned around to see Jean walking through the door with his backpack on.

“He’s just been hired Jean!” Isabel said enthusiastically. “He’s your new coworker!”

“Seriously?! Awesome!” Jean said with a smile. “And Levi too!” Levi smirked. Jean looked a little intimidated by Levi, but that was to be expected. It was only their second meeting, and he was dressed in all black as usual.

“Nice to be working with you.” Jean held out his hand and Levi’s eyes went wide. He sighed and took Jean’s hand hesitantly.

“I look forward to it.” 5 seconds later the purell was out of his pocket and being poured onto his hands. I just shook my head. Jean frowned.

“Let me show you both around and we can fill a few things out! Then I’ll get the schedule sorted!” She led us into the merchandise side and I went crazy.

“LEVI!!!!”

“EREN!!!” We split apart and began going crazy. We tried to refrain from buying things, but he couldn’t help but indulge in a couple boxes of pocky. “We aren’t going to have a paycheck working here.” He said with a frown.

“Sure you will! You get 40% off!” Levi’s eyes went wide. “Hang in there!!” She shook the shock away. She took us both to the lunch area in the back and set the new hire information in front of us, which we both filled out quickly.

“So you are available after school then Eren?” I nodded. “So the same for you then, Levi?”

“Yeah, I’m also in college and most of my classes are in the mornings. So it’s just easier that way.”

“Gotcha! So is transportation an issue? I saw that you walked here.”

“We only live about a five minute walk away.” She frowned.

“So you’ll be walking? Do you live together?” I felt a blush creeping over my cheeks. Shit…way to keep it any kind of a secret.

“Ugh-“

“Yeah we do.” Levi said before I could think to answer.

“Awesome! That’s great. This isn’t the worst neighborhood, but it’s not the best to walk in alone at night. So you can walk home together then. Jean lives just across the street, so I don’t have to worry about him too much. Just make sure he gets inside safely if you don’t mind!” We both nodded. “Let’s see, shop closes up at 9. Will that work for you two?”

“Sure.” Guess those 4 o’ clock cleaning sessions were going to be skipped after all. I could swear I saw Levi’s eyebrow twitch. “Alright! You start Sunday! That work for you? Levi, you’ll be on the merch side, and Farlan will be here to show you how it works that night, since you’ve had cashier experience. Eren, you’ll be in the coffee shop with Jean.”

“Sounds great!” We left the shop, feeling pretty accomplished for the day.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren's first day at Anteiku!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this isn't edited much at all...maybe a few sentences if that. I'm having some troubles today and actually ran home to post this on my lunch break...
> 
> I'm under a lot of pressure lately. I work a part-time job 25-35 hours a week (but I'm in a management position, so it's quite stressful) The hours aren't allowing me to see my significant other much right now, so it's causing a bit of tension, and he's really been on edge because of school (He kinda went off the deep end today), and he's been quite negative because he's under a lot of pressure as well, and I'm a full time college student with a large homework load. To add to that I drive to school 45 minutes both ways, 4 days a week.
> 
> I'm not saying this to get pity, or anything like that, I just want a way to voice my stress maybe? I don't know...
> 
> So today, it's been, I don't know, months maybe. I had that crushing feeling that I've been writing about in so much detail. I had a mini panic attack. Anxiety seems like it's worming it's way back into my life and it's really scaring me. I'm trying to not let it get to me, but I feel like there is just so much to worry over right now. =/
> 
> I'm trying to not let it cascade into full blown attacks again, because that would be like a detrimental blow to me. I've worked so hard to get those attacks under control, and I feel like I'm losing it again. I feel unstable, and it's killing me. So just keep me in your thoughts please.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter <3 I really enjoyed writing this one a few nights ago. It made me smile as i skimmed through it :) 
> 
> **If you notice any typos or errors that make you cringe just point them out and I'll find them later and edit them out.
> 
> The songs are  
> Ocean Lab- Satellite  
> Panic at the Disco- The End of All Things (A reader mentioned this one! If I weed through the comments later and find you, I will tag you!!! Thank you for introducing me to this song! It's great!!!)

A few days later

Levi’s POV

I cracked my eyes open as the late morning light was beginning to fill the room. It’s not like we had anything to do until later today anyways. We both had our first shift at Anteiku today, but we didn’t go in until 3. Eren was snuggled up next to my side, but so was something sharp, jabbing me right in my ribcage.

“Shit.” I moved lightly to try and not wake him, but he woke up when I tried to take the journal from his hand. He had fallen asleep writing in the thing. Who knows where the pen went. There was probably ink all over the bed. Oh well.

“L-Levi…”

“It was sticking in my side.” He threw it on his bedside table with a frown.

“I’m sorry…again.” This was the second time this week. I just smiled and ruffled his hair.

“Don’t worry about it. Not a big deal.” I threw my legs over the bed and carried myself into the bathroom, I wanted to get back to the warm bed and Eren as soon as possible. I looked at my hair as I brushed my teeth. It was looking pretty shaggy. It had been a very long time since I’d let it get to this point. Probably since I was a teenager. Definitely time for a haircut. Sure I could keep up with the undercut myself, but I didn’t dare touch the rest. Come to think of it, Eren could use one too. His hair was always a mess, but it had grown out a lot in the last couple of months. I combed the tangles out of mine and sat down on the edge of the bed as I looked through my phone. Eren groaned behind me. “What?”

“Don’t wanna get up…”

“Then don’t?”

“Gotta pee.” He buried his face in the pillow. “It’s cold today.” The apartment was chillier than usual, which meant it must me freezing outside. It was a nice apartment, but let’s face it, great big windows didn’t really work wonders for insulation.

“The sooner you get up, the sooner we can snuggle.” I said as I pulled up my messages. I heard his feet his the floor as he ran into the bathroom and shut the door. I felt a grin work it’s way onto my face. Damn brat.

**Hanji: Good luck at your new job!**

**Erwin: Do you guys need a ride today? The weather guy fucked up. It’s like 10 degrees. I don’t want you walking in that. I get off at 2:30, you mentioned that you work at 3.**

I pulled up the weather on my phone and sure enough it was 8 degrees with a wind-chill of -5 and snowing. No wonder it was cold in here! Shit.

**A ride would be awesome! Thanks. I have something I need to get out of the house. It’s important. I need to cancel that class also….realized it’s not a good idea currently. I’ve been stressing about it since the psychiatrist visit. Can we meet for coffee tomorrow maybe?**

At that moment Eren dove back into bed and pulled me towards him. I threw my phone onto the table and joined him under the covers, but we were still sitting up against the pillows.

“OUCH!” He pulled the MIA pen out from a blanket, and showed me the streak it had left going up his arm. I couldn’t help but laugh. This sweet guy was all mine, and I was falling for him more and more every day. I heard the pen hit the table and his arms wrapped around my neck. “I like to hear you laugh, Levi. You don’t do it a lot.”

“Well, I have more of a reason to now.” I pulled back and ran my hand along his face, tracing his jawline, running my fingers down to his chin. “You’ve made me happier than I’ve ever been, Eren.” His face blushed and he beamed, before hiding his face in my shoulder.

“You too.” He whispered. I felt his hot breath against my skin through my t-shirt and it made me shudder. “You turned my life around. I couldn’t see a way out of there…” He hugged on to me tight. “And then you showed up!” He shot me another bright smile. “And you rescued me.” I gently eased us down. We were laying now, staring silently into each other’s eyes for a while. I shot a glace to the clock on the table. 10:15. Plenty of time to lay around with him before work.

“You weren’t the only one rescued.” He raised an eyebrow and I pulled him closer. “I was still in a dark place, Eren. You pulled me out of there.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You give me something to look forward to everyday. Granted, I still have a lot of work to do. I have off days. I still get down, and I’m sure you feel like that too.” I pushed some dark brown strands of hair away from those beautiful eyes that I cherished so much. I looked deep into those turquoise eyes and I felt so drawn to him. It’s like I could almost feel his connect with me strengthen at that very moment. I felt something inside my chest tingle and twist and I brought our lips together. As I ran my tongue gently across his bottom lip, I knew, right in that moment, it was too late for me. I had fallen helplessly in love.

The realization was scary for me. The last person I told I love you to was my Nana, and she had left me all alone in this world. My parents? Tch. They didn’t even deserve my love. Eren however…he was a different case. He was…damaged. Maybe even more than I was. Love was a completely foreign concept to him. I wasn’t even sure if he felt it towards me. I knew he felt a connection, or else we wouldn’t be kissing like this, holding each other so gently. Plus he had just lost his mother not too long ago, so opening back up to love was going to be hard. It was definitely going to be a while before I could tell him how I felt.

I felt his hand tighten on my shoulder and he let out a little moan into our kiss. This kid was going to drive me up the wall! I pulled back to look at him and he turned his head away. He was blushing all the way down to his neck.

“It’s ugh…quiet in here?” Eren said as he smiled timidly.

“Not with all the little sounds you are making.” I smirked and kissed his jaw, making him shudder. “You want music or something? I’m going to put a TV up here. Maybe tomorrow actually. I never really spent a lot of time in bed before. Now I have someone to spend it with, it’s not so bad…” I reach over and quickly set up my laptop with a quick playlist. “There, better?” He nodded and settled back against me.”

_My love is like first steps in this snow, baby,_

_I follow you everywhere you go, baby._

“Your face is red, Levi.”

_The pain as light has come to wake you_

_But you will never realize_

_That I inspire the dreams that guide you baby._

 

“So is yours, brat.” I leaned closer and joined our lips together again, pressing him down into the soft covers and pillows. His arms were around me, and he even dared to snake a hand under the hem of my shirt, rubbing the skin above my pants. I breathed out and kissed deeper, it was too late. It had fall past he edge of innocent little kisses to something more. I was tasting every flavor Eren had to give me, and loving every second of it. His hand snaked timidly up my shirt, but stopped just inches from where it had previously began. I pulled away just far enough so I could look into his eyes and whisper to him. “Eren…I don’t want to stop.” He swallowed hard.

_You're a half a world away_

_But in my mind I whisper every single word you say._

_And before you sleep at night_

_You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite._

 

“M-Me either.” I smiled gently I pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Do you trust me?” Those four words meant so much. I would never rush Eren into anything he didn’t want to do, but I was getting worked up by the situation. Carried away by my own emotions, and my own wants. I’d have to rely in my own trust that he would stop me if it became too much.

“Of course I do.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Then tell me if I go too far. Okay?” He nodded and stared up at me intently as I pulled off my own shirt before tossing it to the side. His eyes dropped to my chest, and ran down my abs. They were looking a little rough these days. I hadn’t been able to work out since Eren had popped into my life, but he was more important. His stare alone said that he didn’t seem to mind. I took his hand and guided it up to my chest and he blushed a fiery red. “Touch. It’s fine.”

“I-I don’t..” His hand fell down and he looked terrified. “I’m not sure…” My hand lingered for a moment at the hem of his own shirt, and he nodded before I lifted it over his head, throwing it to the side with my own. I’ll just have to show him.

_I follow the winds that bring the cold, baby,_

_I light a fire in your soul, baby._

Our mouths were together again for a moment, but then I pulled away to look over the bare chest in front of me. I had looked that closely before, while Eren was changing or while I was helping wrap his arm, but he had a few scars. There was no doubt in my mind what, rather who, had caused them. I flipped over on top of him, and straddled his waist. His eyes went wide and he let out a whimper.

“Levi-“ I kissed him again, pouring all the emotions coursing through me into the kiss. My hand danced gently down his chest and he shivered under my touch. I felt his hands move. One was planted flat against my bare side and the other was gripping my hair now, almost for dear life. His face was burning up. I kept exploring his mouth gently, trying to distract his mind, as my hand caressed his skin, and wandered across his chest and shoulders. I felt every scar under my touch, and it pissed me off. I hated Grisha Jaeger with every ounce of blood in my body. He hurt Eren more than he could possibly know. Who knew if the emotional damage could even be fixed? I wanted to keep an eye on where my hands were going, but Eren was desperate for me to keep kissing him. My guess was that it was a way for him to expel his nervous energy, and I was completely fine with that. I loved to kiss him anyways, so that was a plus. My fingertips brushed over another raised bump, but this one wasn’t a scar. This bump made Eren jerk against me and pulled a sound out of him I’d never heard before. It was something like a strangled moan.

_The lightest touch of feathers falling_

_My love might be invisible_

_But I inspire the dreams that guide you, baby_

I broke away from the kiss to draw my attention to my fingers. I brushed them against his nipple again and he made that sound again.

“Levi!” He squeezed my side and I could see the lust in his eyes. The tension was building between us. I knew just by touching Eren and kissing him, not to mention Eren’s sexy sounds that I was starting to develop a ‘problem’. I ran my hand down his stomach for good measure and he shuddered. Maybe he wasn’t quite ready to touch me yet? And that was fine with me. The look in his eyes told me that his brain had shut down.

_You're a half a world away_

_But in my mind I whisper every single word you say._

_And before you sleep at night_

_You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite._

“Eren, is this too much?” He looked up at me for a moment and thought.

“No, this is f-fine. Just…different.” I smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips. The songs switched over on the playlist and I scooted down a little so I could play with his neck.

 

_Whether near or far_

“UGH…L-Levi…” I looked down before I began scooting and I swear Eren was a shade of purple. I knew exactly what he meant. I just shook my head as if to tell him not to worry about it.

_I am always yours_

“There’s no need to be embarrassed you know.” I whispered as I chose to roll to his side rather than scoot lower. Maybe that was too much for him at this point. I moved my lips to his neck, leaving feather light kisses at first. I hadn’t left a mark on his skin since I’d left for my trip, and to be honest, thoughts rushed through my head as soon as I had done it last time, and I had instantly regretted it. I had done it for purely selfish reasons. I wanted to mark him, so others would stay away. Sure, he could look at it and remember me, but he was mine. I didn’t think about embarrassing him. I didn’t think about the marks that his father had left on his body, about the pain. I know I hadn’t hurt him when I left it, but still...

_Any change in time_

“Levi?” My eyes shot up to his. He was rubbing my arm gently, almost nervously. “You-ugh…stopped moving.” Right…I guess I got lost in my own thoughts…

_We are young again_

“Sorry…You distract me.” I said with a smirk. I didn’t leave another mark. Especially not before our first day of work. Maybe later on, after our relationship had developed a bit and I knew Eren better. I didn’t want to hurt him or embarrass him. I cared about him too much. I decided instead on firm kisses and light licks. It had him squirming underneath me, reaching for me. I took his hand in mine, giving him something to hold on to. He groaned underneath me and I let up my assault of his neck.

_Lay us down_

_We're in love_

“Levi…please…kiss me?” He leaned down and engulfed me in a hot kiss. I could feel his fingers trembling. Was he really that nervous? Our chests were pressing together, and he felt like he was on fire all over. I’ll take that as a yes. He was desperately kissing me, pressing me back into the pillow now. I pulled away after a while, frantic to fill my lungs with some oxygen.

_We're in love_

“Eren!” I gasped his name and we pulled away with glossy lips and glazed eyes. “What’s wrong?” He pressed his face into the crook of my neck, chest heaving against me.

“N-Nothing!”

“Eren.” I rubbed his back as he leaned against me. Just the sounds of the music echoing through the apartment and heavy breathing were the only noise for a while.

_In these coming years_  
  


“It’s…just uncomfortable…” He said with a whimper. I chuckled lightly and pushed him back against the pillows. “My kissing you is uncomfortable or?” I glanced down towards his lap and he nodded. “Do you want me to take care of it?” His eyes got wide and he looked absolutely mortified. “Just…close your eyes Eren. If I make you uncomfortable, tell me to stop.” He nodded and timidly shut his eyes. I placed a kiss to his lips, before running my hand down his stomach, to the soft fabric of his pajama pants. I brushed my hand over the bulge in the fabric. He whimpered as I slid them down, along with his underwear.

_Many things will change_

I took his length into my hand gently and he let out another little whimper, grabbing onto me as I did so. I knew he was scared, but I wanted to take those fears away. I wanted to replace every ounce of doubt he had with a good thought, with please. He wasn’t small by any means. I was rather impressed by his size and he nearly evenly matched my size, not that it mattered. I began pumping his cock up and down, and this time, I earned a moan from his lips. I looked back at his face, to make sure there wasn’t a look of pain. My heart fluttered in my chest. He had opened his eyes after all to watch. Dazed turquoise eyes were watching me in amazement as I played with him, and his face was glowing an angry red.

_But the way I feel_

“L-Levi!” He arched up into my hand as I sped up my pace. He wasn’t going to last long. I had teased him too much, and this was the first time he was being touched by anyone. I leaned down to bring our lips together again, continuing the movements of my hand as I did so, and as I slid my tongue against his I moved my hand in perfect timing. Eren spasmed against me and I felt warmth splash against my hand. He moaned into my mouth and I pumped a few more times, making sure he was completely done. I placed one more kiss to his lips before climbing out of the bed. My own need would just have to either go away, or wait until my shower later. No way I was asking Eren to do anything. I ran into the bathroom and washed my hand quickly and grabbed a washcloth to clean him up, just a simple gesture, but hey. I returned and wiped him down, then threw it in the dirty laundry and joined him in bed.

_Will remain the same_

_Lay us down_

_We're in love_

_We're in love_

I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him up against my chest. He was breathing hard, and his face felt hot against my skin.

“Was that okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry I froze up.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“It’s fine. You are still new to everything. Like I said before, I don’t mind a bit to teach you, Eren.” He nodded and I pulled the covers up over us. We stayed like that until it was time for us to get ready for work.

 

Eren was writing in his journal on the bed as I picked up my ringing phone. It was Erwin.

“Hello?”

“What do you mean you are canceling the class?”

“I told you I’d tell you about it later.”

“Levi, what the hell?!”

“Erwin. I thought you would understand. Something has come up and-“

“It’s important Levi. It’s about your safety!”

“Exactly…I’m not sure I can trust myself Erwin! So give it a rest okay! I’m going to give it to you when you come.”

“What do you mean?!” Shit…Eren was staring at me now. I ran my hand through my hair.

“I’m fucking depressed Erwin! Okay?! I was going to meet you for coffee and try to explain it calmly, but I guess a fucking phone call will have to do. I’m depressed. Who knows when I’ll have a bad day? And Eren has some similar issues going on. I’ll be damned if I’m putting his safety at risk too. The more I think about it, the more it makes my stomach turn. Maybe later on, when I get things sorted out, but not right now.” I hung up the phone and tossed it on the table.

“Fucking bullshit.” Eren dropped his pen and jumped off the bed to run over to me.

“Levi.” He wrapped his arms around me and I leaned into him. Who knew if fucking Erwin was even going to show now? Ugh! I just wanted that thing out of the house. My phone began ringing again. His picture just made me want to cringe. I didn’t touch it. Eren looked at me and I just gritted my teeth at the phone. He picked it up and answered it and I shot him a look. “He obviously doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“Listen. I’m still picking you up. It’s still freezing. I’m not making you walk. Have him bring the pistol out when he comes and anything else and I’ll take it with me. I do care about you guys. I don’t take that shit lightly okay?”

“I’ll tell him. Thanks.” He hung up the phone and relayed the message to me.

“So…” I gave Eren an apologetic look. I hated yelling in front of him. I knew it put him on edge.

“Sorry I yelled.”

“No, it’s okay…” He pulled me into a hug again and I relaxed for a moment. “So no more concealed carry then?”

“No. It’s been bothering me. The thought of it. Ever since the appointment, just having the gun here has made me nervous. I didn’t realize how on edge I was also. I just need it out of here. We can take a self-defense class together if you are up for that?”

“Sure! That’d make me feel better!” He tightened his arms around my waist and pressed a kiss to my neck. “Well kick ass together!” I smirked.

“Innocent Eren Jaeger kicking ass?”  


“After this morning, I’m not exactly innocent anymore, Levi.” He said with a laugh. I smirked and reluctantly pulled away from his arms to begin packing up the supplies in the drawer. I wrote out a letter for Erwin to explain everything in as much detail as I could so I could avoid hurting Eren with a phone conversation.

Erwin,

I’m worried about Eren. (Not to mention myself) He mentioned suicidal thoughts at the appointment. DO NOT say anything. And to add to that, the psychiatrist put us both on medication, so I believe it’s for the best. I just don’t want it in my house anymore. We are going to look into a self-defense class together. Don’t be worried, and please don’t be upset with me. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to Eren. He means too much to me. And I know that my lows get so bad sometimes that I have thought about it (and I sometimes still do.) Please understand. Thanks.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                -Levi

I packed up everything that I kept in the 2nd drawer in the nightstand on my side of the bed, and folded the letter neatly as Eren was gathering his things. He clipped his pen to his journal with a smile and followed me downstairs. Eren had actually agreed to let me read it, if I wanted to. We just hadn’t had the chance to sit down together and go over everything he’d written yet. Every time we would sit down and start, he’d get nervous and start writing again, so I would just let him be.

Soon our ride was at the door, and after slipping on our coats and locking up, we met him outside. I handed him the drawstring bag, along with the note, and he threw it in his passenger seat.

“Thanks for the ride Erwin.”

“No problem.” It was a pretty awkard ride to work, but it was relatively short, thankfully. We pulled up in front of Anteiku and Eren climbed out of the car first.

“Make sure you read that letter, Erwin.” I said with a frown. He looked back at me and nodded.

“Will do. Good luck today. What time do you get off?”

“Shop closes at 9. So around 9:15 or 9:30?”

“I’ll be here.”

“Erwin, you don’t have to-“

“Drop it, Levi. It’s going to be ever colder then.” I shut my mouth. I was thankful that Erwin was kind enough to pick us up.

“Thanks. I really appreciate it.” He nodded and motioned towards Eren. I slid out of the car and waved to Erwin, before he drove off. We began walking the short distance to Anteiku together.

“So he’s not mad?” How was I going to explain the situation to Eren? Hmm….

“Well…I’m not sure. I wrote him a letter, since he didn’t really want to meet for coffee. I just hope he reads it. I told him about me going back on meds and everything. About how I didn’t really feel stable anymore so…” Eren just nodded and took my hand in his. We still had twenty minutes before our shift started, but I really didn’t want to spend them outside in the bitter cold. I drug him inside the coffee shop side of Anteiku. If Isabel hadn’t realized we were dating the day she saw us, then she definitely would now as we walked in hand in hand. Jean gave us the normal greeting as we walked in before he realized it was us.

“Hey! You’re early!” He gave us a smile as he dried a coffee cup.

“We came in to get out of the cold. It’s freezing.” I said as I walked up to the bar. “I’ll take a vanilla latte. Eren?” I glanced over at Eren who was now bright red.

“I-ugh…doesn’t matter.” He gave my hand a squeeze. I guess he was still nervous about being seen in front of people he knew. I smirked and looked over the menu. “Caramel cappuccino for him.” He blushed even harder. I knew he liked caramel, because I’d bribe him to clean in the mornings with caramel drizzled coffee. I paid (half price!) for our coffee and we waited as Jean made them. Eren clung to me and stared at the floor.

“You look cute when you do that.” I teased.

“L-Levi!” I chuckled and pulled him closer.

“You can’t blame me. In less than 20 minutes it’s hands off.” I frowned as he looked up at me. Jean sat our drinks down in front of us and we carried them over to the table in the corner. It was a long table in front of a couch, sort of like out apartment. Both of the drinks were steaming hot so we set them aside for a minute to cool. I felt something warm brush against my hand and looked over to see Eren reaching towards me. I took his hand without question and brought it up to my lips, kissing it gently. I could tell he was sincerely trying, but I didn’t want to push him over the edge. I knew his anxiety was probably through the roof right now. He scooted a little closer to me and wiggled his foot against mine.

“Are you excited about your first day?” I asked with a smile. I was running my thumb over his fingers as I asked.

“A little nervous, but yeah. I’m excited. I really like this place.” He had smiled at me and reach for his coffee, which didn’t look too terribly hot now.

“EREN! LEVI!” He jerked and almost dropped the cup and spilled it everywhere. I grabbed his hand and held the cup steady just at the right moment, avoiding him from getting burnt and the cup from getting broken. Isabel sat down in the chair beside the couch.

“Don’t do that!” I said as I shot her an icy glare. Eren sat down the cup on the table and started wiping up the little bit of coffee he did spill. “Eren, is-“

“Jumpy?!”

“No! He’s…” Eren was looking at the floor now with a frown. His head had fallen so low that some of his hair had fallen in his face. He really did need that haircut. I gave his hand a squeeze and leaned over to brush it out of his eyes. “He’s been through a lot. You can’t sneak up on him like that.” I warned her. He reach for his journal now and began to scribble. I didn’t really pay attention to what he wrote, I just notice that his hand was really shaky.

“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t know!” she frowned and watched him frantically write as well. I shrugged and sipped on my coffee.

“You couldn’t have known. It’s the first day.” Eren glanced towards his cup again and reach out with a hesitant hand.

“Won’t happen again, Eren! I promise!” He looked at her and smiled.

“T-thanks. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a pain.” He took a sip of his cappuccino and smiled. Jean definitely knew his way around the shop.

“You’re not a pain!” She said with a bright smile. “Now finish up your coffee and I’ll see you in a few!” He nodded and relaxed back against the couch as she walked away. I rubbed his leg as he held his mug in both hands.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. That was just…unpredictable. I still feel the same. I’m taking my medicine like I should, but I haven’t noticed a difference. I’m still really on edge…”

“It’s only been 5 days since you started taking it. It takes at least two weeks to get into your system.” He frowned and set his cup down on the table. He put his face in his hands and sighed.

“I hate this feeling…” I rubbed his back as he leaned over the edge of the couch. “I feel like I’m constantly being pulled. Sometimes I can breathe, and sometimes it’s like I’m in a straightjacket.” His hand was hovering over his chest, loosening his zipper.

“Are you having trouble now?” he nodded and looked over at me with a frantic look.

“Let me see the journal. Just the last few things you wrote.” His eyes got wide, but he wretch it to me. I didn’t move my hand from his back though, I kept constant contact as I read along one by one. Luckily he changed the color of pen from when we left the house to when we arrived.

I addressed the first comment. _Nervous about first day. Going to mess up._

“Okay, it’s perfectly normal to be nervous on your first day. If you screw up, you’ll be with Jean, right? He’s not going to scream at you or anything. Does he know your situation?” Eren shook his head and squeezed his knee. “Eren, you should probably tell him. I’m leaving that choice up to you, but we will probably be working with him a lot. It’ll make it easier to tell him about your anxiety at least.” Eren nodded and glanced over at Jean.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay, moving on.” _Levi will be annoyed he can’t touch me at work_. I snickered at this one. “Is this real?” He frowned and nodded, so I treated it seriously. “Eren, how should I put this…you know how you go to the grocery store and see a piece of cake you want? And then you aren’t allowed to have it until dessert?” he nodded again. “Think of it like that. It just makes you a little sweeter when I can have you.” His face flushed and he took another sip of his coffee. I glanced down at the next line.

_I hope things are okay with Levi and Erwin. I don’t want them to fight._

“Don’t worry about Erwin and me. We’ll be fine. He’s put up with my shit since middle school. If he can go through me with puberty, we can make it through anything.” Eren chuckled and I ruffled his hair. I moved onto the last comment.

_Really missing mom today. It’s making me feel down today. I remember her bundling me up before she sent me off for school on cold days and making hot chocolate when I came home from school._

I frowned as I read this last comment and stayed silent as I tried to think of a respond.

“Eren…why didn’t you tell me you were down?” I continued to rub his back. I looked over at the clock in the corner. We had 5 more minutes until we were supposed to clock in, but I could really care less if we were a little late.

“D-Didn’t want to get you down too.”

“Eren. You have to talk to me about that stuff. It’s important.” I tugged on his shoulder and made him face me. He was holding back tears. I could tell from his twisted expression.

“Shit…This sucks. I’m sorry. After I got in the shower today it just…sort of hit me. Mom’s birthday is coming up. And then the cold made me think about her also…” I pulled him into a hug.

“Don’t fucking apologize?” I whispered in his ear. “It’s not anything you can control. Just let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, okay?” I felt him nod against me.

“Maybe…once it warms up a little…can we go visit her?” I pulled away from him slightly so I could look into his eyes.

“Absolutely. Just give me a day and we’ll go.” His arms were around my neck before I could hardly finish my sentence.

“Thank you! I couldn’t-I wouldn’t-…wouldn’t be strong enough without you there.” I gave his back one last rub before we pulled apart.

“Anything to help. Do you feel a little better now? Tightness gone?”

“Not completely…maybe once I get through a little of my shift…wait?! What time is it?!” I glanced at the clock again.

“We’ve got two minutes. It’s fine.” I picked up our cups and carried them over to Jean. Eren followed closely behind, tucking his journal into his bag. “If you need me, I’ll be on the other side with Farlan.” He gave me a half smile and I headed over. It was going to be a long night.

 

Eren’s POV

I stood behind the counter nervously as I waited on Jean to come back. What if a customer came?! What if I knocked something over?! What if-

“Eren?” I jumped at the sound of Jean’s voice. “Woah, calm down.” I sighed and turned towards him. He reach out the black apron towards me. It wasn’t a full apron like I was used to seeing, but a waist apron. I tied it around my waist and looked down. It only hung about half way down my thighs. “Isabel says she wants the customers to see the t-shirts.” Jean said with a smile. He pointed at his One Piece shirt. “She said it’ll encourage them to buy more.”

“Oh. Okay.” I watched him closely as he moved around the coffee bar, wiping down the counter and just doing different things.

“You can go clean that table.” He reach me a spray bottle and a rag. I nodded and walked over to the table in question. I sprayed it down with the solution and started scrubbing it clean, like Levi had taught me. “You don’t have to kill it, Jaeger!” Jean joked from behind the counter. I smiled and finished up quickly, joining him again. “Hmmm it’s slow today. I wonder why? The cold I suppose.” He leaned against the bar and took out his phone.

“Jean!” Isabel’s voice rang throughout the shop. Shit! He was caught. I took a step back. “Sorry Eren! Didn’t mean to yell! Did I startle you?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Good! Jean, did you see the cat I posted on Facebook just now?! Isn’t it cute!!!!” He scrolled through his phone to the cat in question and smiled.

“It’s eyes match yours!”

“Exactly! Hmph…it’s so slow today.” She leaned on the bar and started tapping her foot. “So Eren, what’s your story?” She asked with a grin. I looked around the coffee shop, there was only one customer. A college student who had been there since Levi and I had walked in, who was sitting on his laptop in a secluded corner with his earphones in. I guess he didn’t care if I told my story.

“Yeah Eren, I’d like to hear the updated version.” Jean said with a raised eyebrow. I started fiddling with the string on my apron.

“Well…I umm…well I go to school with Jean.”

“Obviously!” I frowned and looked at the clock. Had I really been here for an hour and a half already?

“I ugh..well…I don’t live at home anymore.”

“Wait you moved out?!” Jean said as he stood up. “You don’t live with Mikasa anymore?!”

“No I don’t.” I felt my face flushing as I looked away.”

“Who’s Mikasa?” Isabel asked as she leaned forward across the counter.

“His sister.”

“Okay. Go on! Why did you move out?” I felt my skin begin to crawl. I didn’t want to. This was too much.

“I don’t think he wants to talk anymore.” I heard the cool voice say behind Isabel. Thank God. Levi had his arms crossed as he leaned up against the wall. My knees felt weak.

“No fair!” Isabel sighed. “Is your side just as slow Farlan?” He nodded as he sat down at the bar. I shot Levi a thankful glance. “Well at least tell me how you met Levi!” Jean smirked as he looked at me. I could feel my face burning now and Levi’s chuckle from across the room didn’t help.

“I met him at the craft shop. He was the cashier there. He gave me seventy-five cents because I was short.”

“BAHAHAHA.” Isabel slapped her knee and almost fell off of the stool. “That’s a great way to meet someone!!!” Jean was laughing too. That was it. I was going to die right there. I heard footsteps and Levi leaned up against the bar and joined in.

“Then you showed up at the studio and you were staring at me.” His eyes were soft as they held my glance. “You were watching me paint through the window.” Everyone diverted their attention to his story. “Then I invited you inside and we became friends. The rest is history.”

“No, the rest isn’t history!” Isabel said as she spun around on her stool. “Obviously you are more than just friends.” Levi smirked as he looked across the counter, not breaking the deep stare into my eyes. “How did you start dating?!”

“That…is for us to know only. Right Eren?” I nodded and took a breath. Wow, Levi turned the mood inside out with speech. No wonder his manga was so well written. Isabel sighed and spun around on her stool again. Right at that moment, everyone’s phone began buzzing.

“What the hell?” Jean pulled up the alert. “Blizzard warning? Since when?”

“It goes in effect at 1 am.” Levi said before he looked up from his phone. Shit. Who knew if Mikasa even had anything in the house to eat?! I’m sure he could see the terror in my eyes. “Eren?”

“I-I know I’m on the clock, but can I make a phone call?”

“Sure thing sweetie!” Isabel said as she spun around 3 more times. She almost fell off this time. “It’s not like we are about to get a rush anytime soon! Apparently everyone got the warning except us!” Hopefully Mikasa got word of it. Levi followed after me as I walked over to the merchandise side and put her on speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hey!”

“Eren? What’s up? I thought you had to work?!”

“I do! Did you get that warning about the blizzard?”

“I saw it on the weather this morning.”

“Oh…”

“You didn’t know?!”

“Not really.” Levi sighed and leaned up against the doorway again. “So you are stocked up on supplies then?”

“Yeah, we are fine. I went to the store this morning. How about you two?”

“Yeah, we are good. We get off around 9:30, so we should be home before it starts. Hopefully they clear the sidewalks off tomorrow for school.” She just laughed.

“Yeah, I hate walking in deep snow! I’ll let you go! Be careful!” She hung up.

 

A few hours later

Eren’s POV

7:30pm

“Guys, I’m going to close up early I think.” Isabel said as she looked out the window. The wind was already starting to blow hard and it was starting to flurry. “Call your ride if you have one.” Levi dialed Erwin’s number.

Jean had already swept and he was mopping as soon as Isabel as turned the sign on the door. There hadn’t been a customer in since 6pm. We saw headlights pull up and recognized Erwin’s car just as Jean was rolling the mop to the back. Levi brought my jacket and my bag to me from the back.

“Alright everyone, let’s split! Keep your phones handy. Who knows if we’ll be open tomorrow? I’m not going to open if the snow is taller than me!” We all stepped out into the bitter cold as she pulled the door shut behind us and locked it. Levi held onto me as a brutal gust of wind blew and I yanked him closer. Damn, that gust was strong.

“Night everyone! Be safe!” We jumped into the car with Erwin. Sweet warm heat, where have you been all my life. He had the heaters on full blast.

“Hey guys. How was your first day?”

“Slow. I guess everyone except us knew about the blizzard?”

“I didn’t know until the emergency text. I had to go to the store. That was fun!” Erwin said with a chuckle. He seemed like he was in a better mood now. One glance at his seat told me that it was empty. Hopefully he’d read Levi’s letter. I looked out the window. The sky looked particularly scary tonight. After a quick ride, we were home.

“Thanks! We owe you!” Levi said with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take a home cooked meal one day though.”

“Deal!” We hopped out of the car and did our best to run inside, into the refuge of the apartment. The wind was howling outside.

 

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The blizzard hits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are finally some goodies for you ;) heh <3
> 
> Also, things are going better in my own little world. I'm still dealing with my anxiety and panic attacks, but I'm just trying to take it day by day. Thanks for everyone that has been so supportive! <3
> 
> The song is Beautiful-HIM <3333
> 
> On to the chapter!

Eren’s POV

The wind was blowing hard as we snuggled up together on the couch. Levi turned on Noragami, and we began watching it, stopping only to take a quick dinner break. He made omurice for both of us. Mostly because it was quick, and because it sounded good. We ate it happily together at the island and returned to our show in front on the TV.

“I like Yato.” I said as I snuggled closer to Levi.

“Hmm have you finally developed an anime crush of your own?” He said with a smirk. I shrugged and leaned closer. I pressed my face closer and brushed my lips against his.

“He’s got nothing on you.”

“Psh. Those eyes will knock you off your feet.”

“Yours are better.” He blinked a couple of times and froze. Had made him speechless by that little comment? Surely not? I took the opportunity to capture his lips again, and made the kiss a little deeper. I pushed him down against the pillows of the sofa, and heard the remote fall to the floor. The wind was howling outside and it sounded gruesome, but all I could hear inside were the sounds of Yato screaming at Yukine and the sweet sound of Levi’s lips moving against mine and his soft subtle breaths.

That was until the TV cut off. And the power.

“Shit!” We both sat up and ran over to the window. All of the lights on the street were out. There were quite a few inches of snow already piling up on the ground. “But the blizzard was supposed to start at 11.” Levi said as he peered outside. He opened the door and a gust of wind blew a few flakes into the house. “And what the fuck is wrong with the backup generator?!” The next door neighbor popped his head out.

“Generator not coming on?” He asked as he peeked over.

“No.” Levi said in an annoyed tone.

“Guess we are in for a cold night kid! Better huddle up now!” The old man said with a snicker before heading back inside.

“Shit!” Levi slammed the door and crossed his arms. The temperature in the apartment had already dropped slightly with the door being open. “Eren, grab the extra blankets out of the closet down here.” The flashlight on his phone lit up and he walked to the kitchen and began rummaging through drawers. I turned the app on, on my phone as well and walked to the closet, grabbing the throw blankets, along with the one we’d been using on the couch. Levi returned to me carrying a couple of candles, a lighter, and a big flashlight, which was now illuminating the floor, so I cut off my phone to conserve battery. We carefully climbed the dark steps into the bedroom.

“Go ahead and get ready for bed, Eren. It’ll be too cold to get up later.” I nodded, even though I knew it was too dark for him to see me. I felt my way over to the dresser as Levi placed the candles on his nightstand and lit them. Luckily they were in jars and were pretty safe. The room was suddenly bathed in a warm orange light and I could see a little. I grabbed some pajamas and a long sleeve shirt and quickly headed to the bathroom. I went about my nighttime routine quickly and when I returned, Levi was almost finished making the bed. He had added every extra blanket that we had in the house. It had definitely dropped another couple of degrees in the house. I rubbed my arms as I walked over to him. “Go ahead and get in, I’ll be back after I change.”

I snuggle up in the nest that Levi had made for us after I plugged in my phone. Maybe the power would come back on in the middle of the night. Hey I could hope, right? After a few minutes, Levi appeared out of the bathroom and nearly ran to the bed. He jumped in beside me and huddle up against my side.

“Cold, cold, cold.” I pulled him closer and tucked the blankets around him.

“Maybe the body heat will help a little? At least we’ve got each other to keep warm with.” I said with a smile. It was hard to make out his features the way we were laying, because the candle light didn’t do much to light up the bedroom.

“It’s a lot better in the bed.” He agreed as he nestled closer to me. I felt his hand find my hair and just like it had done earlier at Anteiku, he brushed the hair away from my eyes. “You need a haircut.” I frowned. I didn’t really mind my hair longer. I thought Levi liked me the way I was… “Not that I care. It’s just looking a little shaggy. Maybe just a trim to get the dead ends off if you want to grow it out. If not, then cut it. I need one too.” His hair was considerably longer than when we’d first met. His bangs nearly hung down to his cheeks now. I knew he kept up with his own undercut, or else it wouldn’t stay so perfect. My own hand went to it without thinking. “Mhmm, feels good.”

“I guess I’ll cut it.” I agreed as I brushed my own hair away again. “It’s been getting in my eyes when I draw.” Levi shrugged and ran his fingers through.

“I like it. I’m not opposed to you with long hair one day.” He said with a smirk.

“Maybe later on…” He nodded and scooted down a little further against my side. This was odd. I didn’t usually hold him like this, but I really didn’t mind. He must really hate being cold. He rested his head on my shoulder and his hair fanned out against me. It was nice feeling him this close, being able to hold him like this. It calmed me in a way. I ran my fingers through his hair, and even ventured to caress his cheek.

“Hmm…” The corner of his mouth twitched into a relaxed smile. That much I could see in the candle light. “Just wish the circumstances were better. We are going to freeze soon.” He mumbled as I continues to run my fingers over his face. Feather light touches. I was scared to hurt his perfect skin with anything other than a ghostly touch. “Eren…” He looked up at me with those grey eyes that I adored so much. The way they glimmered in the orange candlelight simply took my breath away. I didn’t wait for his words, I hoped they weren’t important, because I stole them away with my lips on his. He leaned up against me, but I pressed him back into the bed, into the warmth. I was wrapped around him, keeping him warm. I felt a shudder run through me. It was awkward in the silence, but I was slowly coping with just the sounds of our breathing and our lips and tongues moving together. There was no way we were wasting battery power on make-out music.

We pulled apart for a moment and I looked into Levi’s eyes again and I could tell his face was flush, just from the candle light. I was more or less on top of him, pressing against him.

“Is this…okay?” I asked as I nuzzled against his neck.

“Yeah. This is perfect. I just know you it’s awkward for you in silence…so…” his hand was in my hair again and he kissed me once again. As we pulled apart for a moment my eyes went wide as I saw his lips begin to move and I swear my breath caught in my throat as his voice began to echo thought the apartment. He started singing to me softly as he looked into my eyes.

_Just one look into your eyes_

_One look and I'm crying_

His hand played at the hem of my shirt for a moment before he lifted it over my head and tossed it aside. I felt the heavy covers fall back on top of me and didn’t even notice the loss of warmth from my shirt. I ran my timid hands down Levi’s clothed chest, down to the edge of his own shirt and pulled it up, revealing toned muscles. He made my body look like a joke, but I still felt comfortable with him. I shivered as I looked at every ripple and bump. He took my hand in his and kissed every finger before guiding it to his chest. Truthfully, I felt a little self-conscious about my body next to his. My muscles were practically non-existent compared to his, but as his voice continued on, I realized that none of that mattered to him. My self-consciousness (although not all of it) began to drain away.

_'Cause you're so beautiful, yeah_

I watched my hand move as I guided it over pale skin. I felt the muscles under the skin tense underneath as I moved my fingers. Then, suddenly, Levi’s hand began running over my chest as well. I started mimicking his movements, touching him in the same way, exploring every dip, every muscle. He stopped singing for a moment to pull me down for a kiss. It felt good to be pressed so close against him, with our bare chests touching. Just the skin on skin contact was enough to warm us up alone. He drew out the kiss, and twisted his fingers in my hair. He was driving me crazy as he flicked his tongue against mine, and I couldn’t help but let out a little moan into the kiss. I felt him smile against my lips, and eventually I slipped loose. I wanted to keep exploring and touching. Just like he’d done with me. He just chuckled softly and let me go.

_Just one kiss and I'm alive_

_One kiss and I'm ready to die_

I really was on top of him now, and I’m sure my face was completely on fire, but I was trying to push my embarrassment to the back of my mind. It was just us here, there was no need for it. Levi didn’t judge me. I knew that for a fact. He cared about me. I brushed my hand over his nipple like he had done to me earlier, and he jerked. I wonder what would happen if-?

I moved down his chest and timidly gave it a lick, which sent him into a moaning spasm. He gripped my shoulder and panted out the next line of lyrics in almost a whine as he squirmed.

_'Cause you're so beautiful, yeah_

“Eren….God…Please…” He brushed my hair away and I gave it another lick, which had him going into another fit. “Shit!” I pulled back and watched as his chest was heaving. He had a smile on his face that didn’t seem like it was going away any time soon..

_Just one touch and I'm on fire_

_One touch and I'm crying_

_'Cause you're so beautiful_

He was breathing out the lyrics now, and I could tell he was struggling. I just leaned down to capture his lips again. He moaned into the kiss as I took dominance over it, exploring every part of him that I could get my hands and tongue on. What had gotten into me? I never acted like this! Levi was always the dominant one between us, but tonight it’s like a spark had been lit in me. I wanted the control. I wanted to take care of him. I wanted to learn everything about his body….well maybe not everything. I knew for a fact I wasn’t ready for that yet. What exactly was I ready for? The thought scared me, but I pushed on. I didn’t need to run my hand over his pants to feel his arousal. I could feel it pressing into my thigh where I was lying on top of him. I broke the kiss, leaving us both panting and gasping for air.

“L-Levi, can I…touch you?” His face was bright red.

“Yeah, but…how about we do it at the same time?” I nodded and the next thing I knew my pants and underwear were joining my shirt in the floor. My fingers paused at Levi’s waistband. I was beyond nervous. What if I screwed up? What if he didn’t like it? What if I came too soon? What if-

“Eren?” My eyes shot up to his and he pulled me down for a quick kiss. “Go ahead. It’s fine.” I swallowed hard and hooked my fingers in the soft fabric, pulling everything down at once. Wow. Levi’s erection was impressive. My own hard on throbbed at the site of it. I threw his pants to the side and snuggled close to him. It was colder now in the house, but our limbs were tangled together, and chests pressed as close as possible in the position we were in.

We reach at the same time and crossed arms. I leaned my head back as soon as I felt Levi’s warm hand on me and I heard him let out a whimper. Fuck! I mimicked his movements again, allowing him to take the lead once more. He pumped me up and down, and I did the same, drawing a shiver from him. We drew closer to each other, pressing our lips together, tongues intertwining. My hand began to almost move on it’s own and it started drawing these wonderful noises from Levi. I relished in the fact that he was so vocal with his enjoyment. He was letting out these little moans and whimpers and they were just driving me wild. I was already feeling that familiar tightening starting, and I knew I wasn’t going to be lasting very long. Being pressed up against Levi like that had really done me in.

Eventually our pumping sped up, and we abandoned lips for necks and shoulders. Kissing, sucking, pumping. He would brush his thumb over the tip and it felt so fucking-

“NGHH LEVI!” I couldn’t help it. I dug my nails into his thigh and he pulled me close. “Getting HAH-“ His lips were on my neck again and I kept pumping him hard. My head was spinning with thoughts of Levi and waves of pleasure enveloping me. The warmth of his limbs wrapped around me, just continued to nudge me closer and closer.

“S-Same Eren! C-Can I mark you?” Where had that come from? I didn’t really care to be honest. I was 100% Levi’s and whether it was to remember him or to keep others away, I didn’t really care.

“IF I C-Can.” He gave a sharp nod and at the same time our mouths were on each other’s necks, sucking hard, as we pumped hard. He ran his tongue over the mark he left and that was my undoing “NGHGHH-FUCK!! LEVIIII!!!” I came between us, and after a few more pumps, Levi spasmed and moaned as his own orgasm crashed into him. He cleaned us up with a box of tissues by the bed and I tucked us back under the plethora of covers. We tangled our legs back together and to be honest, it was a lot warmer under the covers without clothes on.

Levi yawned as I pulled him back against my side. His head was resting on my shoulder like it had been earlier, but his eyes were shut now.

“L-Levi?”

“Hmmm…”

“Did I…do everything right?” He cracked his eye open.

“I wouldn’t have been making those sounds if you weren’t Eren.” He said with a smirk as he leaned up to press a kiss to my lips. “Now get some sleep. I seriously doubt there’s going to be school tomorrow, but you never know. Goodnight. Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams, Heichou.” He chuckled and poked me in the side.

“Damn brat.”

 

The next day

Amazingly we were awoken by Levi’s phone ringing. He groaned as he wiggled out of my arms.

“Shit, shit, shit. It’s fucking freezing.” He grabbed it and drug it back into our nest and covered his head up. I was covered up to my chin and I could feel his head against my chest. Oh yeah…I could feel a LOT more than just his hair against my chest…His skin was still hot against mine. A blush crept across my face as I remembered what we’d done last night. I heard him start up a conversation under the covers. It was pretty muffled though.

“No, we aren’t OKAY. We are fucking FREEZING.” I heard him snap. I rubbed his head under the covers. He definitely got cranky when he was cold. I felt bad that I couldn’t do more to warm him up. The sun was shining through the giant window of the apartment now, and it was super bright. My guess was that it was reflecting off of all the snow outside, filling the apartment with light. I could swear I could see my own breath in front of me. To make it even worse our clothes were laying in the floor. UGH.

“NO, SHITWIN. IF THE GENERATOR WAS WORKING WE’D HAVE POWER.” I chuckled at the name. Levi definitely hated being cold. I dove under the blankets and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him right up against my chest. His pout turned into a softer expression, and he rested against me. I could hear Erwin faintly now.

“I’ll be there in an hour. Get your shit together, Levi.”

“You can’t be serious. There was a fucking blizzard, and you are coming to get us?” Levi frowned.

“I’m not letting you freeze. You’re my best friend.” Levi shivered and snuggled closer to me, if that was possible. “So throw on something warm, pack up a couple of days’ worth of clothes, and meet me out front. They let me borrow the work truck yesterday.”

“Alright. Thanks. You have no idea.” He shuddered again.

“No problem. I’m calling around to check on everyone, so it may be a little longer, but I’ll shoot you and Eren a text to let you know if I’m going to be late.”

“Okay. See you soon.” The line went dead and Levi glanced at his battery. Luckily he somehow managed to have 45%. He had turned it on power saving mode last night, so luckily it’d helped. He checked his texts quickly, trying to save battery.

 

“Hanji’s power is out too.” He muttered as he flipped through his alerts. “And Isabel said the shop is closed for today.” He tossed his phone aside and looked over at me. “And your boyfriend is freezing his ass off.” I rubbed his back and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“I know, it’s freezing in here.” He groaned and nuzzled his face against my chest.

“Eren, our clothes are in the fucking stupid cold ass floor. Why did we do that?!” He whined and burrowed even closer to me. I shrugged and stroked his shoulder gently.

“We got caught up in the moment I guess?” he chuckled lightly.

“I guess so…It was nice. More than nice actually.” He grinned as he looked up at me. Our eyes met under the covers and I caught a glance of warm grey. “But I don’t want to get out of bed and pack.” He said with a sigh.

“Stay here. I’ll pack.” I ran my fingers through his hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Levi had done so much for me. The least I could do for him was pack up our suitcase and let him stay warm. “I’ll even put an outfit on the bed for you so you can try to stay warm.” He blinked a couple of times and nuzzled his cheek against mine.

“You’d do that for me? Freeze your ass off?”

“Yeah. It’s the least I can do for you. Besides, I wouldn’t want your ass to actually freeze off. It’s pretty cute.” I joked. He poked me in the forehead and snickered.

“Thanks brat.” I tucked the covers around him, and ran around the room. I was just going to throw on my clothes last night, but who knew where they had gone? I’d decided on a new outfit. I would just have to shower and change when I got to Erwin’s. I dressed right there in the bedroom. Hell, Levi had seen me naked last night anyways. I threw on Levi’s Trost University hoodie, which was thankfully upstairs and pulled his suitcase out of the closet. We’d just have to share. I didn’t feel like lugging around two.

“How many days’ worth?” I asked.

“Do three, just in case.” I heard from under the blankets. I rummaged through my drawers and threw some clothes in. A few outfits, some underwear, some socks, a few extra shirts, and some pjs. I went to Levi’s dresser next and paused. I had never even opened his drawers. The only time I touched it was to pull out the Trost hoodie and close it back the rest of the way.

“W-What do you want me to pack for you?” He popped his head out from the covers and looked over.  


“Open the top drawer first.” I opened it, and of course it was his sock/underwear drawer. I blushed and turned my head away. “Eren, stop blushing. It’s just underwear!” That made my face get redder. UGH! “Just pick out 3 or 4, I don’t care. Throw an extra pair on the bed, please. I started grabbing and throwing, along with socks. I couldn’t help but notice how tiny his socks were. So cute. I threw them in the opposite side of the suitcase and moved down to the second drawer. I added shirts and pajamas. The last drawer was pants. 2 pair of black jeans and a regular pair of blue jeans. I closed his dresser up and scooted it towards the bathroom. I packed up my toiletries first, making sure I didn’t forget anything. Then I began packing Levi’s things. I made a mental note of everything I thought he used. Then I asked him to double check.

“Levi, what all do you need me to pack in here?” He rambled off a list. I had only forgotten his eyeliner. I grabbed it and threw it in the bag. “Almost done!” I unplugged the cell-phone chargers from the wall and threw them in the bag, along with the bottles of medicine we now kept on the nightstand. Levi’s neatly folded pile of clothes was still resting on the edge of the bed. I picked up my phone. My battery wasn’t so lucky. It was yellow and at 17%, but the clock told me it had been 50 minutes since his conversation with Erwin. “Levi, you should probably get dressed. He’ll be here in a minute.”

“Don’t wanna get up.” I tugged the blankets down slightly and he frowned at me. I could see his bare shoulder and it made me blush.

“The sooner you get dressed, the sooner we’ll be in the warm car.” He sighed and buried his head again. I resorted to desperate measures and yanked the covers completely off of him.

“JAEGER, I’M GOING TO FUCKING-“ My eyes went wide and I took a step back. He had an angry look on his face. I knew I’d pissed him off. SHIT. He hurried and threw on his clothes and ran up to me, snuggling up to my side. He still looked pretty pissed, but he seemed warmer once he was in my arms. “Eren, you are in trouble. I’m going to pay you back for that.” He mumbled with a shiver. I knew Levi would never hurt me, so I just smiled and gave him a hug.

“Sorry, I had to get you up and dressed.” He shrugged and clung to me.

“Fucking freezing in here. Damn landlord. Stupid fucking blizzard. At least you are warm.” We heard a knock on our door and I let go of Levi and went down to answer it. He watched from upstairs as I let Hanji inside. HOLY SHIT. There was almost 2 feet of snow outside. It spilled into the living room and she jumped inside.

“Are you two ready?! Erwin is in the truck with Bean!” Levi frowned as he drug the suitcase down the stairs.

“WAIT.” Levi said as he parked it in the living room. “Bean…the cat?”

“Yeah!”

“You, Erwin, Bean, Me, Eren, and two suitcases in Erwin’s REGULAR cab work truck?!” Levi said with a pissed look on his face.

“Yeah!” Levi rubbed his face and began slipping on his jacket.

“Hanji…do you not see the fucking problem?!”

“No??”

“IT’S A THREE SEAT TRUCK!!!”

“OH!” She did a thumbs up sign and Levi grimaced and his eyebrow twitched.

“We’ll have to put the suitcases in trash bags and throw them in the back.” He said as he pulled a box of the big bags out of the supply closet.

“Good idea!” We slipped on our shoes and carried our stuff outside after he slid his messenger bag over his shoulder.

WOW! A lot of snow was an understatement. No wonder the power was still out. We wrapped the suitcase up and tossed it in the back, along with Hanji’s. Levi got pissed and threw the trash bags back there too. Erwin waved at us as we opened the door. Bean was in the seat beside him in a carrier. He picked the carrier so Hanji could slide in beside him to hold the crate. I looked at Levi and laughed nervously. Someone was either going to be squished or-

Levi jumped up into the truck.

“HEY!” He yanked me in next and sat me down on his lap. The door slammed shut and locked.

I heard seatbelts click into place, but the only thing that went around my waist were Levi’s arms….and my blush. I’m pretty sure that was making it’s way all the way down. At least the heat was on full blast.

“Stop being so embarrassed. It’s just Hanji and Erwin.” I buried my face in my hands. Yes, it was JUST Hanji and Erwin, but we hadn’t really done much in front of them (intentionally at least), so it still made my heart race. And I had never even sat on Levi’s lap before!!! I heard him chuckled and glanced back at him in the side mirror. He was smirking. He was enjoying this?!

It’s not like I hated being on his lap, because I didn’t, it’s just the situation was odd.

“I think it’s cute Eren!” Hanji said with a smile. Bean let out a meow and stuck his nose through the bars of the carrier. I sighed and leaned back against Levi a little. I might as well enjoy it, right. He tightened his arms around me a little more and I felt him lean his head against the middle of my back. I could definitely get used to sitting on his lap for sure.

Before I knew it, we were at Erwin’s. I was out of the truck first, digging in the bed of the truck for our suitcase as Levi muttered something about “Fuck the fucking cold.” We were inside in a matter of minutes. Erwin actually had a house, and we parked our suitcases in the living room. It was a tiny house though, much like Levi’s one bedroom apartment, but it did have a driveway at least.

Hanji let Bean out of the carrier as soon as the door was shut and he ran out and stretched his legs freely and went wondering around, searching for Erwin’s cat.

Erwin’s house seemed a little more cozy compared to Levi’s…not that Levi’s house wasn’t home to me now. This house seemed to mimic a log cabin type décor. Thick fabrics, dark woods, and plaid prints. There was even the occasional fur from place to place. Levi sat down on the couch and I sat beside of him, watching as the two cats barreled through the room, chasing after each other and thudding into the coffee table.

“Sonny! Calm down!” Erwinn chuckled as he looked at the stunned yellow and white cat. Blue eyes looked up at him and it’s tail twitched before it ran off again. He explained before that both cats had come from the same litter and Hanji had named them both. Bean, the brown and white cat chased after Sonny.

Erwin turned on the TV and sat down in the recliner, and Hanji sat beside of Levi. The house was nice and warm, so there wasn’t really a need for blankets.

“Erwin, can I shower?” Levi begged. I figured he’d ask as soon as we got here. We were both still filthy from last night.

“Yeah. You know where it’s at.” Levi stood up again, pulling the suitcase away with him. I frowned as I watched him disappear.

“So Eren…” Hanji said with a grin. “How about you answer a couple of questions for us?” I raised my eyebrow and leaned back against the arm of the chair.

“Ugh…okay?” I didn’t really like the way she said that…

“First off…how about you tell us about THAT.” She said with a giggle as she pointed to my neck. What was wrong with my- OH MY GOD! My face turned an instant shade of purple. I threw my hands up in front of my face and began waving them around as I remembered EXACTLY what had happened last night.

“I UGH- I” I was whimpering. They both laughed as I tried to form words.

“Relax! It seems like Levi did! He had a matching one!” I blushed even harder. I hadn’t even noticed. I had been turned away from him most of the morning. He had either been under the covers, snuggled up against me, or facing away from me. I hadn’t even seen his neck. FUCK. “It seems like he’s really taken with you, Eren.” Erwin said with a smile.

I nodded and looked at the floor. My heart was pounding.

“Just don’t hurt him, okay?” Oh, so it was one of those talks? A warning not to break his heart?

“I’ll try my best.” I gave a sincere smile. “But I’m not perfect. Levi knows that.” Erwin nodded.

“And he seems to have fallen for you just the way you are, imperfections and all.” I was blushing all the way down my neck now. “I’ve never seen him this happy, Eren.” I frowned at this statement.

“B-But he’s back on medication.”

“Like I said before. I’ve never seen him this happy. His life has always been a constant battle of ups and downs. Mostly downs. But you seem to be his key to happiness. Don’t let him down.” I nodded and draped my hand across my chest. It felt a little tight, like a great responsibility had been placed on me. I knew I was responsible for Levi’s happiness, but it never occurred to me the magnitude of the situation before.

I heard footsteps coming down the hallways and Erwin fell silent with a smile. Arms wrapped around my neck from behind and I felt a kiss being planted on my neck. Soft lips touched right on my artery, and I swear I nearly jumped out of my skin. He chuckled against my neck and leaned against the arm of the couch, keeping his arms wrapped around me like that. I could feel his wet hair tickling my neck. I guess he had calmed down now that he was warm and clean.

“Eren…can I talk to you in the kitchen.” He said as he stood up. I joined him and he tugged me into the adjacent room. It wasn’t like Levi’s house. The rooms were mostly closed off, not open concept. He wrapped his arms loosely around my waist and there in the light of Erwin’s kitchen I could see the dark purple mark I’d left on Levi’s neck. I blushed as soon as I spotted it. “Yeah. We got a bit carried away last night, huh?” he said with that wonderful light chuckle of his. The next thing I knew, his fingers were in my hair, tilting my head down into a kiss. He tasted like fresh mint, and it was amazing. We kissed slowly and gently, just like the gentle smile across his face.

“Levi…”

“Are you upset at me?” he asked me as he ran his fingertips softly over the mark on my neck. “For leaving this here? I have such conflicting feelings about it. About the first time…” He was frowning now. Had he really been that worried about it?

“No, why would I be?” Relief washed over his face and he leaned his head into the crook of my neck for a moment, before placing a feather light kiss to the mark.

“I just…didn’t want you to think of it as a bad thing. Like…what your dad did to you…” he said with a frown.

“You didn’t hurt me. It felt good.” Pink washed across his cheeks at those words. “Besides…it’s to tell people I’m yours right?”

“Y-Yeah…” He pulled me down for another kiss and stole away any other words I had for the moment. We stumbled back and bumped into the counter, which I pressed him up against. I felt his wet hair glide through my fingers as I kissed him, and when we pulled apart he stared into my eyes with those smoky eyes of his, rimmed with dark black. Not a line was out of place.

“I don’t mind it then, Levi.” I stroked the top of his cheekbone gently with my thumb as he looked into my eyes. “I’m all yours.” The corners of his mouth turned up into a grin and our lips were together again, brushing against each other’s.

“I’m glad. I’d hate it if I made you upset. I’m completely yours as well Eren.” One more kiss and we finally broke apart to rejoin the others. Well Levi joined the others. I plugged in my phone and took a shower.

 

Later that day

Levi’s POV

We had spent most of the day just hanging around, not doing much of anything. We watched a couple of movies and played a board game, but otherwise it was an uneventful day. Erwin made dinner around 9, and by 9:30, we were trying to figure out who was sleeping where.

“Hanji can sleep with me.” Erwin offered with a shrug. “It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.”

“Woo!” Hanji said with a grin. I sighed.

“I’ve got a futon for the floor. So one of you can have the futon, and the other can take the couch.” I glanced over at Eren. He was already fidgeting at the words Erwin just blabbed. That obviously wasn’t going to work, but we’d just have to make do. I shrugged and he began digging for the futon. He laid it out on the floor, along with a clean set of sheets. He also laid some extra blankets on the couch. Eren sat down on the couch with a frown. “Alright guys, we are headed to bed. See you in the morning!” He gave us a smile and they disappeared down the hallway. Eren was nervously tapping his foot now. I knew that look. He was on the verge of a panic attack. I could see it in his eyes. I ran over to him and kneeled in front of him.  


“Eren, what’s wrong?!” His eyes shot up to mine.

“I…I umm…I’m scared…of sleeping without you next to me…” His knee was bouncing up and down and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

“We aren’t going to. I’ll sleep on the edge of the futon if I have to. I wasn’t planning on letting you sleep alone.” He let out a couple of shaky breaths. I held him close until the anxiety and panic passed. He finally took a nice deep breath against me and I let him go. “You alright now?” He nodded and stood, to help me fix the futon. We put the sheets on and fixed the pillow, then laid the blankets on top. We heard the door open down the hallway and Erwin called out.

“Levi, make sure you cut the lights out! My power bill is outrageous.”

“Tch. Cheap ass.” I muttered as I turned all the lights out except the last lamp as we finished getting ready for bed. We changed into out pajamas and finished up our nightly routine. Eren looked at his phone with a grin before we settled into bed.

“School is canceled again. So is Trost.”

“Doesn’t surprise me.” I said with a chuckle. “We had 26 inches of snow.” Eren was tucked right up into the crook of my shoulder. Somehow we had both managed to fit on the mattress. “I’ll text Isabel in the morning and see if she’s opening up shop.” I reach over and turned off the light, bathing us both in pure darkness. Eren reach for my hand in the dark and gave it a squeeze.

“Levi…it’s really dark…”

“Will you be okay?” He snuggled closer to me. “I should be okay…it’s just…unnerving.” I started rubbing his head, and eventually it relaxed him enough to let him drift off.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren finally get to head home after the blizzard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 I need to catch up the chapters so I can get the Valentine's one up in time ;) (That's my goal at least) I WILL TRY!!! But I'm not going to stress myself out over it soooooo what happens happens. <3 
> 
> I just try my best to put out quality for you guys <3 ;)
> 
> Like always, comments , even if it's to say hello! :D

_Eren! EREN! Mikasa was reaching for me. She was bleeding. He had hurt her. It was all my fault. All because I had left, he started taking out his frustrations and hate on her, beating her everyday just like he had done to me. He threw the bottle against the wall and it exploded._

_I ran to her and tried to pull her to her feet._

_“She doesn’t want to see you, you worthless piece of shit!” He screamed at me. Darkness enveloped me. From every edge, from every corner, from every angle. There was no light. Mikasa used to be the only light in my life, then I found Armin. Then Levi. But here, they were all fading away into pitch black. His hands were reaching towards me. Vicious hands meant only for pain and hurt. They collided with me, and the lines of my world blurred turning black into navy. I felt myself jerk as he made contact with my arm. This time it WAS my right arm and he was laughing._

_“HAHAHA, can’t draw now, can you? Disgusting trash!” No, NO, NO. Levi? LEVI! How could I get to Levi? He could protect me._

_“No one can save you Eren!” His boot collided with my face and all I could hear was the familiar crack and the sound of my own screaming. I could feel the blood again, and the ever present tears streaming down my cheeks, and that relentless darkness looming over me._

 

Levi’s POV

“EREN! WAKE UP!” Shit. SHIT. He was gasping in his sleep. I couldn’t wake him. I heard footsteps and the next thing I knew, Erwin and Hanji were frantically running in, turning the lights on to the living room. He was screaming in his sleep, crying against me. “Eren!” One more shake and his eyes shot open. He tried to figure out what was going on, but then his hand went to his chest. I sat him upright and leaned him against me. “Breathe Eren! Breathe!”

“Le-Le” He was gasping wildly, sobbing, shaking, and clawing at his chest. Shit! What should I do?!

“Eren, it’s over. It was just a dream! I’m here. Please…” I begged him to breathe. Begged sweet oxygen to fill his lungs. He was scaring the shit out of me. Tears were pouring down his cheeks as he struggled to let in even the tiniest breath. “Eren…” I pulled him closer and his tears eased up a little. Shit. That worked? I wrapped my arms completely around him and tugged him as tight up against me as I possibly could. “Listen to me, I’m not going to let a single person lay a fucking finger on you! Got it!” He nodded and choked out a strangled sob. I felt his hand wrap around mine, but luckily he took a breath in. Thank God. He took a breath. And another. The worst of it was passing. He slumped against me and I just let him fall into my arms. “Eren…” I whispered his name and ran my fingers through his hair. He was shivering, but his skin didn’t feel cold. This was awful. I was helpless. He just whimpered and desperately tried to get closer, bury himself against me. Hanji and Erwin were both staring at us now, worried and ready to help in any way they could.

“Maybe a cup of tea?” Hanji offered as she wondered off into the kitchen, pulling Erwin with her. I guess she figured we needed space.

He clung to me, fearing to let go. I felt his tears seeping through my shirt, and I could even feel the heat from his face absorbing through the fabric.

“God…Levi…I’m s-so…worthless…” He muttered it into my shirt and let out another string of tears. He was shaking so bad, I thought he might shatter. “C-cold.” I pulled the blankets up over us and pulled him flat against me, so that we were chest to chest. His face was buried in the crook of my neck, and his tears were slowly leaking down my collarbone.

“You aren’t worthless, Eren. Don’t say that shit.” He let out cry and buried his face even deeper. I didn’t care how many times he broke and I’d have to pick up the pieces. I’d always be there for him. “Eren…I mean a lot to you, right?” He sniffled and looked up and me.

“O-of course you do.” Those aqua eyes were spilling over with tears. They were so filled with hurt and worry that it nearly broke me apart. I just wanted to wish on a star and make everything better for him. I wanted to make all of his fears and anxiety disappear, but it wasn’t that simple, so I would do the next best thing. I would stay by his side and help him along each and every step of the way.

“Then stop saying those things about yourself, okay.” I gently ran my fingers along his cheek and pressed a kiss along their ghostly trail. “Imagine how you would feel if I told you I was worthless.” He frowned and nodded. “Everyone has a purpose in this world, Eren. I’m not sure what yours is. I know that you are a fucking amazing artist. And you are also an amazing boyfriend. But you aren’t going to make that asshole of a father you have happy, by being either of those things.” A couple of fresh tears dropped down at my words and I wiped them away. “It sucks, but this world isn’t fair. You have to live to make yourself happy. Do what you want to do. It’s your life, babe.” His eyes got wide and he gave me a slight smile.

“T-that’s a new nickname…” His face was already red from crying, but I could swear it turned another shade in front of me. I chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. I ruffled his hair and hoped that somehow he would stop shivering with our close proximity, but it was no use.

“You don’t mine it, do you? Behind closed doors at least.” He just shook his head and rested his face back into my shoulder again. His tears had slowed down to a mere trickle now.

“C-can’t warm up.” Hanji and Erwin rejoined us with four mugs of tea.

“Have some tea, Eren! Maybe it’ll help.” Hanji offered. We sat up again and he sat on my lap, huddled close as we sipped on our tea. He sniffled in between sips and wiped at his red eyes.

“Sorry guys…I didn’t mean to wake everyone up.” He let out a shudder and set his empty mug aside. Hanji frowned as she watched him shiver.

“No really! It’s no biggie! We just wanted to make sure you were okay!” She smiled softly at Eren.

“I’ll be alright now.” After finishing up their tea, Hanji and Erwin headed back to bed, leaving me and Eren alone.

“Maybe a hot shower might help?” I offered as I pulled the blankets back around us. He just huddled closer.

“Don’t want to leave you…”

“Erwin and Hanji already went to bed. I’ll just go in there with you.” Eren looked up at me and his cheeks started turning red again. “What? It’s not like I haven’t seen-“ He put his hand over my mouth.  


“LEVI!” I smirked against his hand and kissed it.

“Okay, okay!” I muttered against it and he pulled it away. “But seriously. You need to warm up. You can’t stop shivering.” He looked up at me as his face kept changing to a deeper shade of crimson.

“Alright…just…can we be quiet?”

“Sure.” We stood up and gathered our shower supplies out of our suitcase, and tiptoed down the hall into the bathroom. I quietly shut the door behind us and locked it, then turned on the shower to the highest setting. Eren stood awkwardly by the sink and I gently wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him into a kiss. He tasted salty, from the tears that had been running down his face, but they were all but dried up now. I pulled his shirt up over his head and began undressing him as shivers kept shaking his body.

Eventually we both ended up naked and pressed up against each other, but it was more for comfort than pleasure. I could see the exhaustion in Eren’s face. The panic attacks drained him and I knew that. I was careful where I put my hands as I didn’t want to pressure him into anything to further exhaust him…especially in my best friend’s shower. We stepped under the steaming how water and he let out a sigh as it rushed over him. I had my back turned away from the showerhead, so he was getting most of the heat. The shivers seemed to finally be letting up. He wet his hair and I massaged some shampoo into his scalp, making sure I worked it into each and every inch. It’s not like we were in a rush. He needed to warm up after all.

“Mhmm…” I rubbed softly and after I was sure his hair was clean I let him rinse. His cheeks were definitely pink, and it was adorable. I didn’t mind one bit to take care of him like this. I gently washed his face next, wiping away the tear stains that riddled those cute rose colored cheeks. I began washing him from his neck down next, being thorough with every scrub of the washcloth over his skin. After all was said and done, it probably took us an hour in the shower. The water was starting to cool by the time we had hopped out, nice and clean for tomorrow.

Nothing about the shower had been sexual aside from the occasional kisses we stole from each other. It had been solely to calm and relax Eren down and he was leaning against me now, arms wrapped tight around my middle. I was attempting to dry him off, but he was practically dozing off against me.

“Hey brat…” I whispered it and his eyes only half opened.

“Leee…” I ran the towel through his hair and he woke up a little more. We continued drying off and threw our pajamas back on. Who knew what time it was? All we knew is that we’d probably be stuck here again unless Isabel decided to open the shop up tomorrow. I just decided to leave our stuff in the bathroom and pulled him back through the house. He stumbled along after me. We practically fell onto the futon, and he was in my arms again, eyes heavy with exhaustion. His hair was still damp, but his face was still pink. He was warm now, body free of shivers and tears. Maybe he was content for the time being? All I knew is that he was quiet and on the verge of falling asleep against me.

“Eren. Will you be alright if I turn the light out?”

“Leave one…can you?” He muttered it against my shoulder with his eyes closed. I left the lamp beside of us on, and settled down next to my warm brunette.

“Yeah. It’s on. Please have sweeter dreams this time, okay?”

“Hmm…yeah.” He didn’t stay awake much longer after that. I soon heard soft breathing and after watching over him for a while for signs of distress in his sleep, I joined him.

  


The next day

**Isabel: No work today either! Sorry guys! Blizzards are bad for business. Stay warm.**

I sighed as I read over her message and returned my gaze to the sleeping teen in my arms. Eren had been out since our shower this morning, and I had no intentions of waking him up until I absolutely had to. I had slept extremely light, checking on his sleeping pattern every half hour or so, to make sure he wasn’t having a panic attack in his sleep. It was nearly one o’ clock now and Hanji and Erwin had tiptoed around the house trying to avoid waking him. I hadn’t even gotten up to use the bathroom. Luckily the futon was out of their way enough that they didn’t have to step over us.

Suddenly, I heard him groan and stretch against me. I looked down to make sure he wasn’t having a nightmare or panic attack. Calm turquoise eyes were staring up at me, being rubbed by hands that had just woken up.

“Good morning, Eren…well…evening.” He yawned and stretched against me.

“Evening?” he asked curiously as he looked towards the window.

“Yeah, I just let you rest. You seemed pretty worn out.” He sighed and his head went back to my chest.

“Thanks. Sorry if I kept you here all day. I didn’t mean too…”

“No, really it’s fine. You deserved to sleep. I got caught up too.” Sort of. 30 minutes here and there…

“Really? You still look tired.” He ran his thumb under my eye. I shrugged.

“Must be where I’m not used to the mattress.” I stretched and pressed a kiss to his forehead before rolling away from him. Now to finally start my day.

The day went on rather normally. Well as normally as it could at Erwin’s. I got a call from my landlord telling me the power was back on. Erwin dropped us back off later that evening after the roads had been cleared a bit.

We watched the emergency closings, and surprisingly, our schools scrolled past again. Eren checked the website.

“Apparently the main water line in town busted, along with a bunch of secondary ones.” He said as he read the article. Right about that time my phone started ringing as a perky red head with green eyes and a thumbs up (she insisted on setting the selfie as her photo on both mine and Eren’s phones) flashed across my phone.

“Hello?”

“Ugh…Levi?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s Isabel!”

“Obviously…”

“That’s no way to talk to your boss!!!” she said with a laugh.

“Sorry, we just got back. What’s up?”

“Well, some of the pipes in the back of the shop burst, so we may be down for a few days actually. I’ll keep you updated, but with the way the roads are and all the maintenance on the main pipes, I wouldn’t expect to be back at work for a couple more days. Sorry!”

“It’s fine. We could actually use some time to just relax from everything anyways. It’s not a big deal. Just let us know when you need us back.”

“Thanks for understanding!” with that she hung up and my attention turned towards Eren.

 

“So, what do you want to do?” Eren was sitting on the bed as I finished unpacking the rest of the suitcase. He still didn’t look 100% and to be honest…I didn’t feel that great. Probably from Erwin’s shitty housekeeping. I wouldn’t put it past him to have mold growing on that damn futon. Eren looked up from his phone and frowned.

“Anything is fine…but…do you feel okay? You look kind of pale.”

“I’m fine. Just a little worn out. We’ve been running around quite a bit these last few days.” I picked up the dirty clothes off of the bedroom floor and threw them into the hamper, then neatly stacked my suitcase back into the closet. Everything was perfectly in its place, although I could probably stand to do a load or two of laundry. That could wait until morning though. I joined Eren on the bed and leaned against his shoulder. “Why don’t we watch a few episodes of something up here?”                                 

We cuddled up together in bed and set up my laptop so we could both see easily. Somehow, I’d managed to end up in Eren’s arms again, even though he was the one who’s had a rough night last night. Who knows? Maybe it was like the equivalent of holding onto a teddy bear to make you feel better, I wasn’t going to complain. We scrolled through the pages and ended up on an anime called Gravitation.

“Have you ever watched it?” He asked as he hovered over the main page.

“I’ve read the first manga in the series. I like it.” He smiled brightly and double clicked on the image of the pink haired vocalist with a yellow costume on and the first episode on.

After about ¾ of the way through the series I felt myself begin to drift off against him, even though Shuichi Shindou was singing his heart out.

“Levi.” I heard him click the mouse and shut the laptop. I cracked my eye open to look at him. I just didn’t feel right. I was hot and cold at the same time. It was still pretty early, not even past 11. I shouldn’t be this exhausted. I shut my eyes again. I just needed to rest for a moment, then I’d get back up. “Levi.” He shook me again and I opened both eyes this time.

“Hmm.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Just tired.”

“We never really ate tonight…”

“The show was too good…” I mumbled as I leaned back against him. I felt the bed shift and I felt my whole body move. Eren pulled me upright. I shot him an annoyed look, but he really did look concerned. He pressed his fingertips to my forehead and I let out a small sneeze.

“Your face is hot.”

“It’s just allergies from Erwin’s damn nasty house. It’ll pass.” He frowned and pushed my hair back.

“Stay awake. I’ll get some juice for you at least. Are you hungry?”

“Not really.” We had eaten an early dinner at Erwin’s and neither of us had wanted anything after.

“Okay. Be right back.” I took the opportunity to run to the bathroom and get ready for bed. It took everything I had not to fall asleep against the sink. I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Eren to return. I reach for the glass, but my fingers just couldn’t quite grasp. What the fuck? He help the glass to my lips and I sipped slowly. He made sure I took my nightly medication, and made the bed as I watched through half-lidded eyes.

“-Ren…” He ran in and out of the bathroom in record time. Clothes were flying everywhere. He grabbed his own glass of water and downed his meds, then jumped into bed, pulling me towards him. I was out as soon as my head hit his shoulder.

 

Eren’s POV

As soon as I pulled Levi into my arms he started breathing heavily. I was really concerned, because he just wasn’t acting right. It wasn’t even 11 yet, and he nearly passed out from exhaustion. Not to mention the fact I thought he had a fever. I picked up my phone and texted Hanji.

**Levi isn’t acting right. He’s really pale, hot face, nearly fell asleep in the middle of an anime earlier. He’s already in bed.**

I sent the message and felt Levi cling to my shirt. He grumbled something in his sleep and got closer. I could see sweat forming on his brow. Shit…yeah, it was definitely a fever.

**Hanji: Has he been disorientated? Sneezing? Runny nose? Cough?**

I smoothed his hair back off of his face and he grimaced in his sleep.

**He seemed pretty out of it and he did sneeze once, but he said it was allergies.**

Levi wiggled against my side. He was being particularly restless tonight. I hoped he would fall into a deeper sleep soon. He slid down and burrowed further against my side and coughed against me. Shit.

**Hanji: You better batten down the hatches Kiddo! Sounds like Levi is getting sick to me. P.S. He’s a total BITCH when he’s sick. GOOD LUCK!!!!**

She didn’t respond after that. All I could do was try to comfort him through his fever and ease him into a deeper sleep. Eventually, I fell asleep, and luckily, it was a sleep free of nightmares.

 

The following morning

Eren’s POV

 

I woke up to the sound of a groan beside of me. Levi was curled up against my side, nearly in the fetal position.

“Levi?” I rubbed my eyes as I looked at the clock. It was a little past 9. He coughed against me and groaned again.

“I feel like shit.” He mumbled through a stuffy nose into my back. His voice sounded horse and nearly forced. Like it was a chore to say every word. It’s just like Hanji had warned. Levi was officially sick. I turned to face him. His nose and cheeks were pink, but the rest of his face was pale. He sneezed before he looked up at me. “Ewww…my whole body is gross… Eren…” I pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I’m sorry, Levi.” He groaned again and sunk under the covers. “I’ll go make you some tea.” I climbed out of bed and shuffled downstairs. Maybe a hot cup would help soothe his throat? I brewed it and added a little bit of honey to the cup. I brought up two glasses of water with it, along with two oranges I’d divided into pieces. I carefully carried the tray up the stairs. He was still buried completely under the covers, until I sat the tray down. “Here, try to have some tea. It’ll help your throat.” He slowly sat up and took the tea in his hands, then sipped on it. I took my morning medicine and munched on a slice of orange. He also downed his medicine with his tea, and looked over the slices with a frown. “Try to eat a few. The vitamin C will help you feel better.” He picked up an orange slice and bit into it. He sneezed again and nearly spilled his tea.

“Ugh…Eren…kill me.” Poor Levi. I brushed his hair back.

“Finish your tea up, and try to lay back down.” He blinked at me as I walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I quickly ran through my morning routine and threw on some clothes. I slipped on his maroon hoodie that was on top of his dresser as he watched me over top of his mug. “I’m going to run to the store. Will you be alright?”

“Y-Yeah.” Did he just blush? If he did, he concealed it behind his mug. No, surely it was the fever.

“Call me if you need anything.” I leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. Hell, if I was going to catch it, I probably had it by now as well. He nodded and handed me the empty mug. I took it with me downstairs and after putting it in the sink, I threw on my shoes and headed out the door. Wow…they really hadn’t cleared the sidewalks yet. I guess they’d be preoccupied with the pipes after all.

I pretty much waded through the snow to get to the store, but Levi was worth it. The temperature had never really risen above 32 degrees, so none of the snow had melted off, and the sun hadn’t done much of a job either, as it had been blocked by the clouds. Eventually I wound up at the grocery store.

I grabbed a basket and headed towards the medicine aisle. I loaded the basket down with cold medicine, cough drops and anything that I thought would help Levi. I added a few boxes of tissues, I made sure they had the lotion added so his nose wouldn’t get sore, and I finished off the trip with a few cans of the “good soup”, as Mikasa had called it. Not the fifty cent a can cheap stuff that pretty much filled our cabinets.

I waded back through my tracks to the apartment, basically freezing my ass off now, since my jeans, socks, and shoes were soaked. I unlocked the door and stepped in, finding Levi making more tea. I kicked off my shoes at the door and tried to shake off some of the snow.

“Levi, what are you doing up.” He stared at me blankly as he waited for the teapot to whistle. I walked over to him, my socks squishing against the floor as I did.

“Making tea. It’s fucking 12 degrees outside and you went to the store.” He had two mugs sat out on the counter with tea bags in them. He was leaned on the counter, gripping onto it for stability. I deposited the bags on the counter, spilling the contents everywhere and wrapped my arm around his waist. “And you are soaked.” The teapot whistled and he poured the boiling water into the mugs.

“You’re sick though. I can handle being cold. It’s my job to take care of you.” He gave me this look that I’d never seen before. It was almost like his eyes were filled with confusion, but he clung to me.

“Go get changed.” He whispered as he looked down at my jeans.

“I will once you are back in bed.”

“Eren.” He gave me a sharp look, and I returned it.

“Levi.” He sighed and gave up, letting me guide him back to the bedroom by his hand. He sat on the edge of the bed as he watched me change, and afterwords I brought up our tea and the bags I had brought back. “Thanks for the tea by the way. I didn’t mean to seem unappreciative. I’m just worried about you.” I brushed his hair back and he gave me a half smile. I tucked him in, and I sipped on my tea as I set up the room to make it a little more comfy for him. I put the tissues on the table, and the trashcan by the bed. I loaded up his table with the medicines and cough drops, and I had left the soups down in the kitchen. His face was pink again, and it seemed like his fever had returned. I felt his forehead and sure enough, he was hot. I ran into the bathroom and wet a washcloth and started wiping down his face and neck as I sat on the edge of the bed.

That same look flashed through his eyes as earlier and I wiped away a new bead of sweat. He took a shallow breath and swallowed hard, his voice was coming and going throughout the day.

“Eren…no one has ever taken care of me like this before…” I ran the cloth over the back of his neck and down his shirt. "I really appreciate everything. You went out in two feet of snow just to get me medicine…” I smiled brightly at him and wiped over his face again.

“Of course! I’d be a shitty boyfriend if I didn’t. It’s my job to protect you and take care of you also, Levi. You matter just as much.” I pressed a kiss to his cheek and he smiled. He took some of the cold medicine, and I climbed back into bed with him, letting him rest his head in my lap while I wiped his brow.

It was just a matter of moments before sleep took him again, induced by the cold medicine and my movements with the cool cloth over his skin.

“Sweet dreams, Levi. Please feel better soon.” I whispered softly as I pulled the blanket over him. Hopefully this fever would break soon, and he’d be back on his feet.

 

 

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day before Valentine's Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm just going to point this out. I promise Jean isn't an ass. <3 He really isn't :3 He just doesn't know Levi that well. 
> 
> Also Jean really is frustrated. 
> 
> Keep that in mind. xoxo ;)
> 
> Hehe
> 
> And also! On a side note! I don't know if I've mentioned it- BUT I am actually an art major myself. (Studio art and Art education) Well. I am in the process of writing about Otaku culture for my anime/manga art lesson. I know, it seems crazy. Ha! Well, I'm running out of ideas. I've written so far about.  
> -Akihabara  
> -Cosplay  
> -Doujinshi  
> -Manga  
> -Fanart and Official Art  
> -Conventions  
> -Merchandise
> 
> But I'm having trouble with some other ideas? Can anyone give me some other tips? ;) Thanks. Anyway! On to the chapter!

A few days later            

 

Eren’s POV

 

Eventually Levi was back on his feet, and Anteiku was back up and running. The weather had thankfully let up. I’d had just enough time to meet Levi at the studio before walking with him to work. Luckily school hadn’t been too bad. Hanji’s tutoring was actually helping a lot, so math class didn’t seem to be such a burden any longer. We walked hand in hand and watched our reflections in the glass as we went on our way in silence for a while. We didn’t really hurry, because we still had 30 minutes before our shift started.

“How was your day, Levi?” he shrugged as he looked over at me.

“Not too bad. I’ve been finishing up a project for design class, and I turned in a paper for English this morning. So I’m not behind. That’s good I guess…” I gave his hand a squeeze and smiled.

“That’s really good! We continued walking for a while in comfortable silence until he finally spoke up.

“So Eren….” He took a step closer as he walked next to me and we brushed our arms together. “I requested tomorrow off for both of us.” I looked over at Levi and he smirked. “So if they try to give you shit for it, then just ignore them.”

“Y-You-“

“I’ve got something planned. Not to mention we’ve got an appointment with Zacharius after school lets out.” I stopped in my tracks and the slack between us went tight, pulling Levi back hard.

“You actually did plan something?!” He was grinning now and walked back to me. We were standing right in front of Anteiku.

“Of course I did! It’s our first fucking Valentine’s day together, brat.” People were walking past us on the street and I felt my face heat up. The front door to the shop was propped open as usual, but I paid it no attention. I was just surprised that Levi actually had the time to plan something, after all the time he’d been spending worrying about me. “I’ll only give this part away, because I’m sure she’ll be blowing up your phone about it soon, but we are going to the rave later tomorrow night in Shinganshina with Hanji and Erwin, if you are still okay with that part.” I felt my heart skip a few beats, then all of a sudden it threatened to bounce out of my chest all at once. My arms were around his neck without me even thinking and he just let out a soft chuckle and wound his own arms around my waist.

“So I take that as a yes then?”

“Absolutely!” My heart was pounding in my chest and I wanted to kiss him so bad, but there were so many people around us. It’s like they’d all come out of hibernation after the storm had passed. His cheek felt so warm and smooth against mine and his hair was tickling my nose. We hadn’t done anything more than hold hands or hug in public. I could tell Levi didn’t want to push me too quickly, especially with the way my panic attacks were striking at any moment lately. But here in this moment I didn’t feel any anxiety. I only felt my safe place in Levi’s arms, I felt his heart beating right along with mine and his warmth seeping through his jacket against me. I tried a breath, and sure enough sweet air filled my lungs. I pulled back slightly to look in his eyes and they were shining with joy from the sudden hug. I was still a bit shy about PDA, and he knew that. I must have caught him off guard. My eyes dropped down to the corners of his lips, which were turned up into a smile. I just…leaned forward and something flashed in his eyes before he closed them and pulled me in. It was a sweet simple kiss, just a few brushes of lips, and a few tastes of each other before we pulled apart. I could feel the pulse in my neck going crazy. He was smirking like a fool.

“Well then…” His hand went up to the back of his head and he smoothed out non-existent stray hairs. “That was…I didn’t expect that…” My hands were trembling against him. Holy shit…did I just?!

His attention changed immediately though. There were still people swirling around us, going about their daily business, and he tugged me away from them, into the coffee shop. We plopped down on the couch that we usually sat at while we waited for our shift to start and he stared at me in amazement.

“That was a bit, adventurous for you, or at least I thought it was?” My face was definitely red now. As soon as we had started kissing outside it had gone red, actually. I was embarrassed beyond belief, but that didn’t change how I felt about, Levi.

“Well…yeah…but I was happy…so…” I began tapping my foot and I drew my journal out of my bag and began scribbling quick notes in it. Levi put his hand over the page to stop my writing and looked me directly in the eyes.

“TELL ME what you are worrying about.”

“That…you are upset.”

“That you kissed me? Never. Not in a hundred years. Anything else?”

“That people will be upset that they saw us…”

“Fuck them. All that matters is that we are happy.” I let the pen lay flat against the paper and sat it down on the table. “Eren, we can read through that tonight after work if you are up to it? Or maybe even just the parts you want to address. Up to you.” I nodded and looked over at the journal. It was nearly full already. We hadn’t been back to Zacharius since our original appointment because of the weather and Levi being sick, so the notebook had almost been filled to the brim with my worries.

“If it won’t bore you.” He gave me a kind smile and scooted closer.

“It won’t. Trust me.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek. Our babbling and fussing over my notebook had barely left us anytime to talk about much else before our shift started. One more hug, and we stood up from the couch and we headed to put our stuff up.

“They are here!” Isabel said as she finished putting up a new display.

“Why wouldn’t they be?” Jean asked with a smirk

“Getting ready for their hot date tomorrow!” She said with a smirk. I felt my face flush as I slipped my bag into my locker.

“Seems like they are plenty prepared for it to me.” Jean joked. “At least that’s what it looked like when they were outside earlier.” I completely froze by the coffee bar and held by journal to my chest. Jean had seen us?! My eyes went wide and fell on Levi. He just shrugged and pinned his name tag on.

“Don’t be jealous Kirstein.” He said cooly. “It’s not my fault you are going to be single on Valentine’s Day.” LEVI. My hero. I cracked my notebook open and began to write as the two snapped at each other.

“It’s by choice, asshole. I’ve got plenty of people crawling all over me.”

“Tch. I’m sure.” Levi rolled his eyes. “I’m sure most of those are equestrian enthusiasts.” Jean’s face fell into a grimace.

“Well at least I don’t wear make-up!”

“Hey! Guys! Cut it out!” I jumped in between them.

“Shut up Eren!” Jean said with a frown. “Your boyfriend’s an ass!” I frowned and gripped my journal tight. I heard Isabel mumble something, but I couldn’t understand what.

“No, he’s not.” I muttered it and glanced at both of them. Jean’s face was red and Levi looked beyond pissed.

“Don’t fucking yell at Eren! Horse-face!”

“I will if I want to, Maybelline!”

“Stop it!” I was turned towards Jean as I said it, but I clearly meant it towards both.

“Shut the hell up Eren. You don’t have room to talk. You wear fucking women’s clothes.” I felt my heart flutter for a second and then that familiar feeling was starting to sway over me. I was shutting down. My notebook hit the floor. Not here. Not at work. Shit! I didn’t say anything else. All I could do was hold back tears as I ran to the bathroom.

 

Levi’s POV

“Are you fucking serious, Kirstein?!” I hissed as I glared at him.

“Guys!” Isabel snapped at us. “Stop it. NOW.” We both went silent. “Levi. Go check on Eren. I want apologies from both of you by the end of the night.” Shit. I walked towards the bathroom and knocked on the door.

“Eren…” I heard a click and the door opened slightly. I let myself in and shut it behind me. The only reason that I even came into the bathroom is because I cleaned it meticulously every shift I worked. His eyes were red and he was clutching at his chest. “Shit. Eren. I’m sorry.”

“N-No…Not…Not your fault.” He wiped his face with a wet paper towel and was trying to take breaths. He was trying to work through this panic attack with sheer willpower.

“It was just as much my fault as it was Jean’s. I should’ve stopped…” he splashed some water on his face and patted it dry with the towel.

“No really. It’s okay.” I frowned and took his hand in mine.

“Are you sure you are okay?” His breaths were still sharp, but his tears had stopped.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute.” I kissed his cheek gently.

“Alright. I’ll be outside if you need me, okay?” Hopefully after a breather he really would be alright. I could only trust him.

 

Isabel was frozen in the bent position, looking at Eren’s journal where it had fallen and I ran over and snatched it from her gaze. She looked at me with a confused look. I snapped it shut and stuffed it in my back pocket.

“Is…is he okay, Levi?” That seemed like a loaded question.

“He’ll be out in a few minutes. He said he’ll be alright. He just needs to calm down.” She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.

“It fell to the open page…I didn’t mean to read it, but I caught my name…”

“You shouldn’t be nosy…”

“Does he really have panic attacks that bad, Levi?” Jean turned back around at this statement with a look of horror across his face. I tried to keep my face blank, but I guess it didn’t work.

“You have no idea…” I sighed and poured some hand sanitizer over my hands.

“Shit…” Jean muttered it and I shot my glace to him.

“That’s why I warned you a few weeks ago Isabel. Eren’s been through some shit. I won’t go into detail, but he doesn’t like being startled and he doesn’t like conflict…which I completely lost sight of today. I fucked up.” I rubbed at my undercut, and frowned. I heard the bathroom door open and Eren walked out and towards us, taking his place at my side. “So…I’m sorry Jean.” Jean nodded seriously.

“Same here. I’m sorry too, Levi. We shouldn’t fight. Especially over stupid stuff.” Isabel cleared her throat. “And especially here.”

“Much better!”

“And Eren…” Jean was looking at him with pitiful eyes. “I’m really sorry about what I said…You know how I get in the heat of the moment sometimes…I don’t think clearly. Sorry I said that about you.”

“It’s okay, Jean.” Aqua eyes, although now they looked a little more tired, were filled with a smile as he grinned at Jean. “Let’s just get back to work.

 

Farlan was off for the evening and Isabel was really on a roll with her comments about everything. The customers didn’t seem to mind her enthusiasm though. She pretty much ran back and forth between the two sides of the store for most of the evening. I’m sure Jean could hold down the café side, but I think she kept wanting to check up on Eren. I could see him periodically from my spot at the register, and that was enough for me. Eventually Isabel returned to my side when a rather large order came through. She bagged the items as I rang. They paid with cash…of course. Fucking filthy. I immediately sanitized my hands as soon as they left.

“Levi! Look!” She snatched my hand and I nearly yanked it away, but she pulled it back. “You’ve done that after every customer!” She looked closer at my fingers and hands. “Look at the cracks in your skin. Your hands are so dry! How often do you use this?!” I scowled at her.

“People are disgusting. As often as it takes to get the filth off.”

“You are hurting yourself though, love bug! Doesn’t it burn?!” It did burn a little, but I’d gotten used to it. Burning meant clean, right? I just shrugged and her frown got deeper. She looked around the now empty shop and pulled me from behind the register towards the café.

“HEY! LET GO!” Eren’s eyes got wide as she tugged me by the hand into the coffee side of work.

“Eren! Levi is hurting himself!” Eren’s expression went from confused to shattered in a matter of half a second.

“Breathe brat. She’s being overdramatic.”

“Look at his hands!” she thrust my hand toward Eren and he frowned deeper. “They look awful! Look how red and cracked! He sanitizes after every customer.”

“Levi…maybe just lay off a bit?” He ran his thumb over one of the deeper cracks on my hand and I sighed. He did look concerned.

“I’ll try…” I withdrew my hand and headed back over to the other side at the sound of the bell on the door. The rest of the night went by rather quickly, although every time I was able to steal a glance at Eren, he seemed to be frowning or off in his own little world as he wiped table or the counter. Jean helped him make his first cup of coffee for the night, and he always snapped out of the stupor he was in to warmly greet the customers with that bright smile of his. I couldn’t help but notice the churning feeling inside of me, however. I felt that sadness stirring inside my own mind, and I was trying to shake it off.

A few minutes until close, as I leaned on the coffee bar, Isabel shoved a DVD case into my hands. I raised my eyebrow as I looked at the cover. A monster was peering over the wall at a figure dressed in a black cloak. The town appeared to be on fire.

“I watched this yesterday! It’s my own copy, so you can borrow it! I thought two of the characters looked like you guys, but I’m crazy so I could have been imagining it! I haven’t moved on past episode 13 yet. More episodes are online, but I don’t think the season is finished yet! The manga isn’t even done! It’s so good!” She was going crazy, hopping from foot to foot. I handed it to Eren and he looked it over.

“Maybe this weekend?” A blush crept across his cheeks and he nodded.

“YAY! It’s so good! And there are so many fans already! I swear this is going to be one of the most popular anime ever!” She was bouncing as Jean headed to the door to lock it. Eren swept and I cringed. That’s right…I hadn’t really taught him properly yet. Jean was going behind him with the mop. I wiped the front windows down with Windex and paper towels and I just couldn’t get all of the streaks to go away. I was starting to get frustrated at myself, and it didn’t help that this agitating feeling inside me wouldn’t go away. I felt on edge almost, and I felt like I was being dragged down. I couldn’t stop myself from being pulled down by my own mind. I sighed as I wiped the windows.

“Levi! If you don’t hurry, they’ll be finished mopping by the time you are done with that one corner!” Isabel joked. I frowned and sped up my pace. It wasn’t nearly to the standards I wanted, but it’d have to do. I sighed as I carried the Windex and paper towels back to the supply closet. Eren met me at the same time to store the broom away.

“How about some one on one sweeping lessons tonight, brat?” I whispered in his ear, so low only he could hear me. His face went immediately red and he looked over at me. Maybe some time with Eren would save me. Maybe he could grasp me before I fell completely away.

“I-I ugh…It’s a little late to clean…” He fiddled with the handle of his broom and I smirked.

“It’ll be a quick lesson, nothing too crazy. I promise.” I winked at him and took the broom to set it inside the closet.

“O-Okay I guess…” I could tell he was conflicted.

“Alright! Time to lock up!” Isabel’s voice rang through the empty shop and we walked to the door. We stood outside and waited for her to turn the key in the lock. “Be safe everyone!”

Stale snow crunched under our feet as we walked home. I had Eren pulled close to me. If I told him it was for warmth it wouldn’t completely be a lie. It wouldn’t be a lie if I told him it was for him protection either, because I was always protecting him. Truthfully I just wanted to be up against him, as close as I could possibly be, in the current situation. Our hips were touching as we walked and my arm curled around his waist just right. He was talking about something enthusiastically, but his voice was just echoing in my ears. I just needed this contact. Something was crashing inside of me, and I felt my heart swooping down to a low. I just needed him.

“Levi?” My name being called brought me back to my senses. I looked up from the ground where my eyes were locked, and instead focused on his face which had a confused expression on it. “Were you listening?” I just locked my arm around him tighter and sighed. I guess it was too late to be pulled back out tonight. I had already dropped too low. My heart had sunk. My mind had wandered too far away, and that frown had etched itself too deep on my face.

“No.” He didn’t say a word. However, one of his own hands found my lower back and rubbed up and down as we walked in complete silence, aside from our crunching footsteps. Eventually we made it home and shrugged off our coats and kicked off our shoes by the door. Eren dropped off this bag by the couch and ran to the closet, pulling out the broom and pushing it into my hands. I couldn’t help but try to smile for him, even if it was just a soft one. We walked over to the kitchen in silence, because words just didn’t feel right. I hated feeling this low, and it just struck at the worst moments.

Eren still hadn’t said anything to me, and I felt somewhat guilty. I showed him first how to sweep and made my own small pile on the floor. Nothing compared to the grime of Anteiku. He tried to mimic me, but his hands fumbled. I frowned and stood behind him, wrapping my arms around him from behind and placing them over his hands gently. He flinched against me, and my eyes tried to focus on his face, which was hard from this angle. I reach down to the depths of my heart to struggle for words, and I found a few.

“Eren…Why’d you jerk?” His hands felt warms against mine, and he stroked my thumb with his in apology.

“Sorry…I thought maybe I made you mad…” I pulled myself closer to him. What a shitty thought. He was my anchor to this world, besides Hanji and Erwin. But unlike them, Eren was my light. My mouth found the crook of his neck and placed a kiss there.

“No. You didn’t.” I guided his hands and body and adjusted his shoulders against me, showing him how to sweep. There were now two proper piles of dirt on the floor. He paused as I held on tighter, not letting him really move around the kitchen to sweep any further. I sighed against his shoulder. Damn…I swear he was so fucking tall…

He simply stood there and let me cling to him for a while without question while he held onto the broom. He eventually set it aside and turned in my tight grasp, taking me by the hand to lead me upstairs. I wanted to explain how I felt, how everything just felt like it was crashing down right now, but the words were a part of that. It just felt like a chore. All I knew is that I wanted to be near him. I felt the frown etched into my face, and he stroked my cheek gently.

Sweet silence filled the room as he pulled me against him again. My thumbs found the hem of his shirt and he let me lift it up without question, immediately filling the gap created between us as I lifted it up. He paused at my shirt and I gave him a simple nod, before my own shirt joined his and just like before his arms were back around me, pressing us close.

All I could muster was a whimper as his fingers intertwined in my hair that was too damn long right now. It was just another thing that was out of fucking control. This kid that had so many troubles weighing him down in the world was worrying about me, and it was breaking me apart piece by piece. I wanted to scream, but I only had the strength to stand there and hold onto him. Hold on to my rock. He hadn’t even turned on the lights upstairs, so the only light we were bathed in was the pale blue from his nightlight. I didn’t care enough to move. I think he cared too much to move away. His skin was so warm against me, and it just worked wonders to lull me to a calmer state. To almost a catatonic sense of mind. He pulled at a loop on my pants and tried to motion towards the bed. Yeah…that would probably be better…

Our jeans were off next, leaving us in our underwear. I didn’t even remotely motion towards the dresser to put on pajamas, so neither did Eren. We just slid into bed together and wrapped back around each other silently, only the rustling of covers and the sound of skin sliding against skin echoing through the room. I could see turquoise eyes focused on me intensely, glowing in the blue light and I mustered up enough energy to lean up and press a kiss to those beautiful lips of his. He rewarded me with a bright smile and ran his fingers through my hair. Fuck. This kid…He knew exactly how to help. How to not push me past my breaking point how to-OH. His fingers were delicately massaging my scalp now, and my eyes closed. I scooted even closer to him, if that was possible.

His fingers ghosted over my skin, across my shoulders and he paused.

“Levi…” My name on his lips broke the silence but it was barely an inaudible whisper, barely catching my ears. “Your shoulders are really tight…” I sighed and pressed closer to him. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world right now. No wonder they seemed tight. “Let me take care of you?” My eyes cracked open to look directly into his. He brushed my bangs out of my face and all I could do was nod. Before I knew it, he had disappeared into the bathroom, much to my disappointment. But he was back soon enough, carrying a small bottle of lotion. “Lay on your stomach.” He voice was still that soft whisper, and it was creating a beautiful tranquility in the room, coupled with his warmth and the blue light. Blue was such a calming color. I flipped on my stomach and heard the bottle pop open.

He must have poured the lotion on his hands first, because it was warm when it hit my skin. I groaned and my fingers dug into the sheets when he found a stubborn knot in my shoulder. He worked on it until it came loose and kept moving around, until every muscle was loosened. He moved to my neck for good measure and massaged the tough muscle.

“Mhmm…”

“Feel better?”

“Yeah…” he moved down further to my middle back and began massaging there.

“Eren…”

“Yeah?” I felt myself slipping. My thoughts were drifting. My hand in the covers was going lose. I just wanted him next to me, but my brain couldn’t function.

“Mhmm..tomorrow…I….”

 

Eren’s POV

Levi began breathing heavily underneath my touch, but I didn’t stop rubbing. His back still felt tight, so I finished working out the knots all the way down until I reach the band of his underwear. I wasn’t quite sure what had happened, but I had a feeling Levi had just completely shut down on me. I wonder what had triggered it? And the way he kept reaching for me reminded me of the way I reach for my mom when I had a nightmare when I was little. Like he was relying on me for that much needed comfort. I sat the lotion on the table and pulled the covers up over him before sliding into bed beside him. He was so warm as I threw my arm around him. I was careful not to wake him, because I wanted him to wake up to a fresh day, not the same day that had caused his distress.

“Goodnight Levi,” I whispered against his shoulder. I shut my eyes, and eventually I dozed off.

 

The following morning

What was that sound? Oh right…my alarm. It was time to wake up. Levi was stirring beside me. It looked like he hadn’t moved all night, actually. He turned towards me and looked at me with groggy eyes as I shut my alarm off.

“Good morning.” Maybe he would reply. Maybe he wouldn’t. Either way, I was still going to be here for him. I snaked my arm around his waist and pulled him into a hug. If he was still feeling down, I’d just have to try harder to make him feel better.

“Morning…” He snuggled against me. At least that was two words right? “Sorry about yesterday…”

“It’s fine! Really…”

“No, it’s not fine Eren.” He looked up at me with serious gaze and leaned my chin down to press a kiss to my lips. “I can’t just…”

“You can’t just what? Be human? Yes. You can. I understand. Everyone has their bad days, Levi. It’s fine.”

“But I didn’t even want to fucking say anything to you…” I ran my finger through his hair and gave him a soft smile.

“You don’t have to say anything to me. Just being by your side is more than enough for me.” He let his head fall to the crook of my neck and I just held him there for a while, letting my body wake up and enjoying his comfort at the same time.

“How can you be so…so damn nice about it? What did I do to deserve you…?” he whispered into my neck. I swear I heard a slight hitch in his voice. I stroked his hair and rubbed circles on the same shoulder that I had worked the knots out of last night. “Especially after I’m constantly fucking up all of the time…”

“Stop being so hard on yourself. We all deal with stress differently. If that’s how you deal, then I’m not going to bother you when it happens. Just know I’ll be by your side if you need me, whether you want to talk…or whether you just want to hold onto me.”

“Fuck…” He muttered it as he looked up at me. “Talk about grade A boyfriend material.” I blushed as I leaned down and brushed our lips together.

“We should probably get up, Levi…I set the alarm a little late so you could rest.” I rubbed the back of my head as I said it. It’s not like I wanted to get up out of bed. School was waiting for me after all. UGH. He looked over at the clock and sighed.

“True. Alright, go get ready for school then. I’ll be up in a minute.” I pulled myself away from him reluctantly, and after gathering my clothes, I drug myself into the bathroom. As I stepped under the hot water, one thought struck me immediately. Today was Valentine’s day!

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day is FINALLY here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Part 1 of the Valentine's Day Special ;) 
> 
> Okay….So There is a movie in here that they end up watching called Sekaiichi Hatsukoi Movie. I was just scrolling through a list of anime movies looking for one for them to “watch” and clicked on this one and watched it myself! :D AND GUYS! THE ENDING REALLY IS VALENTINE’S DAY! How crazy was that?! 
> 
> Also! I HIGHLY suggest you go and have a listen to this song like RIGHT NOW. It's the song in the fic.  
> The Ratio of Freckles to the Stars - Halou
> 
> It will make the whole chapter for you, plus it's an awesome song!
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/Relaxcos-Online-T-shirt-Cosplay-Costume/dp/B00LNS3S9I/ref=sr_1_125?ie=UTF8&qid=1422867612&sr=8-125&keywords=sword+art+online+shirt
> 
> http://trippnyc.com/product/is3143m-wht/   
> The Shirt And Pants
> 
> Comments Please =]

After School

Eren’s POV

We sat together in the waiting room hand in hand as we waited for our names to be called. Surprisingly, it was empty for once, but we figured it was because today was Valentine’s Day. Levi was staring at the Journal in my hand with a frown on his face.

“Sorry I didn’t read over it with you yesterday…” I brought his hand up to my lips and gave it a kiss while I shook my head.

“Don’t worry about it.” Levi gave me a half-smile and nodded.

“Levi, Eren. Come on back.” We let go of each other and followed her back to the familiar room. Zacharius came in almost immediately after we were seated.

“Alright, Levi I believe we started with you last time, so Eren, how about we start with you today?” My hand began to tremble and Levi took it in his. “So you got a journal I see?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“Have you been writing down your worries in it?”

“Yes…”

“May I take a look?” My hand froze on the book. No fucking way. This was really happening. I handed over my journal and he started flipping through it. He took notes as he glanced from page to page. Damn he was a fast reader. He finished up in less than 5 minutes and handed my journal back. “Okay, so we have some issues we need to address, Eren. I wrote down the main points here, but there are some concerns.” Levi gave my hand a squeeze.

“There are a few names in here, Hanji, Erwin, Isabel, Farlan, Jean, Mikasa, Armin. You worry immensely about conflict with these people. Your handwriting gets erratic, so I’m assuming that it usually winds up in a panic attack?”

“Sometimes…Just when there are fights or something…I get upset if I cause something…”

“So you are afraid of them turning against you?”

“Sort of…”

“So not in the physical way, but maybe in the you don’t want to lose their friendship way?” I nodded and Levi rubbed my hand with his.

“Okay, you need to start talking things through with these people Eren. Tell them how you feel. More than likely they aren’t going to turn away from you. Okay, next we need to address these lines about your father.” I cringed as he mentioned him.

“Can…we not?” He gave me a kind smile and leaned back in his chair.

“Why don’t you want to talk about him?”

“Because he’s better left out of my life…”

“But he’s still a part of it obviously. You write about him nearly every day. You have these vivid nightmares about him. This attack here you wrote about…” I felt my chest getting tight. I didn’t want to fucking talk about it. It was like my energy was being drained away.

“I don’t want to fucking talk about him!” I was pulling at my hoodie, unzipping it.

“Eren. Tell me what you are feeling right now.”

“I’m fucking pissed.” I felt the tears beginning again. I didn’t want to cry today. I had wanted to try to hold them back for Levi’s sake, but I just couldn’t. I let a few leak out, and one by one, they couldn’t stop. I leaned over and held my face in my hands as I cried as quietly as I could. “I’m fucking pissed that my dad treats me the way he does. That he doesn’t want me. That I’m such a fucking burden to him. That I can’t be myself around him. That I’ll never be good enough.” I was literally crumbling. I was falling to pieces and there was no stopping it. I felt Levi’s hand on my back and I just let out a pathetic whimper. It was the only sound I could make.

“So, you are pissed at HIM, Eren.” I nodded my head so hard I shook Levi against my side. “There is no reason to keep punishing yourself for his mistakes. You need to try to move on with your life and make yourself happy. Having these panic attacks are doing nothing but having him control you from another house.” I clawed at my chest and Levi pulled me closer. “Levi isn’t always going to be around, Eren. He will have occasions when he has to go out of town, or has class, so you need to get these under control, and it is definitely no rush. These are a bit by bit thing, but just remember. You control you. Not him. Don’t let constant fear control your life.” I wiped at my face as oxygen flooded back into my chest. His words were making me feel a little better. “Okay?” I nodded and agreed.

“Now lastly, there is an issue here that we need to address with Levi’s help.” I looked up and over at Levi who was watching over me.

“O-Okay.”

“There were multiple passages in here where you wrote about a fear of Levi leaving or abandoning you. I feel like we should go ahead and talk about that. Levi, what are your intentions with the relationship with Eren?” Levi pulled a hand away from my face and gripped my hand tight, before looking directly into my eyes.

“Eren. I have absolutely no intentions of leaving you. This is a long term relationship. I’m your boyfriend, and I plan for it to stay that way for a very long time. The only thing that will change that is if you really go out and try to hurt me on purpose. Like cheating…nothing else. So don’t worry.” A weight lifted off my chest as I looked into his eyes and fresh tears spilled out.

“S-So?”

“So…I think I’ve found my long term partner…you have nothing to worry about. We both have a lot of issues to work on, but I’m not going to leave you over something like that.” He kissed my hand and I couldn’t help but let out another sob. Relief was washing over me. I really didn’t have to worry about my dad anymore. I didn’t have to worry about Levi going anywhere. Things really were looking up.

“Okay, How about we take a 5 minute break, then we can talk about Levi a little.” I nodded and tried wiping my tears on my sleeve. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He left the room and left us alone, and I felt tissues being shoved into my hand and warm arms wrapping around me. I didn’t have anything to worry about. I’d just have to keep repeating that to myself.

“Calm down, babe.” He whispered it so low and so sweet, that I nearly melted. Our fingers locked together, and I was actually able to take a deep breath. He wiped my tears away with a tissue and brushed my hair away from my face. “You did great. I’m proud of you.” He was stroking my jaw with his fingertips and they ghosted down my neck. He rewarded me with a gentle kiss. We pulled apart as the door opened back up, but we stayed pretty much side by side, holding hands like that. Levi was mine, and nothing was going to change that.

Dr. Zacharius took his seat again and picked his notebook and pen back up after setting his coffee cup down.

“Alright, why don’t we change gears here? Levi, how have you been getting along? How have your symptoms been?” I swear I saw the muscles in his face twitch.

“I…I haven’t been doing so great…” He looked to the floor and I sat up and looked in his direction. I wasn’t sure if he wanted contact besides my hand, so I stayed put. “I had a pretty bad low yesterday…”

“Any idea what caused it?” He just shook his head.

“No idea.”

“How’s the cleaning?” The frown deepened and he looked over at me.

“I haven’t been able to as much actually. We both started working at a shop.”

“Ah! You didn’t tell me that. So it broke your cycle in other words?” He nodded. “Well that probably caused the low then. You are so controlling about every little aspect, Levi. From what I have learned about you, anyway. It probably triggered it. Having any other issues related to the cleaning?”

“Not that I can think of.” I whimpered and the Mike turned his eyes towards me. Levi sighed.

“Did you want to add something Eren?” I ran my fingers over the deep crack in Levi’s finger and he grimaced.

“He…uses sanitizer a lot.”

“Well I knew that.” He said with a smile as he jotted it down.

“No…I mean…excessively. His hands are cracked from it.” I frown as I looked at the rough hands in my own. I just wanted them to heal.

“When do you sanitize, Levi?”

“Usually after I handle money…or touch the register. Or doors. Or people. Or…”

“Well that’s enough. I get the point. Hang on.” He picked up the phone sitting on the desk and dialed a number. “Nancy, do you remember that sanitizer email I sent you a few weeks ago? Yeah. That one. Could you print it and bring it in the first room please. Thanks.” He hung up and looked at Levi. “So in other words, after you touch anything?”

“Yeah…people are disgusting.”

“Do you sanitize after you touch Eren?” Levi frowned and looked over at me.

“No…he’s…different.” Zacharius smiled and after a knock on the door, the nurse entered with papers in her hand. He handed them to Levi and Levi’s eyes went wide. “Okay Levi, Read them out loud please.”

“Antibiotic resistance, hormonal changes, changes in brain function, suppressed immune system…” He was practically glaring holes through the paper.

“Now, I’m not saying that hand sanitizer is bad all of the time. It’s the abuse of it. It’s just like a drug. Overuse can cause problems. So try to cut back. It’s time for me to assign homework for both of you.” We turned our gazes on him and Levi’s hand was nearly trembling in mine. I think we were both terrified of the homework.

“Levi, keep sticking to what you are doing with the cleaning. You are doing a great job. Normal cleaning is fine. Every time you sanitize, mark it down. Every time that you feel the need to sanitize and don’t, mark that down also. Keep track.” Levi nodded and scribbled it down on the back on his paper. “Depression wise, have you noticed a difference with the medication? It should be in your systems by now.”

“I can’t tell much.” Levi admitted. “But it may be taking longer.”

“Me either.” I agreed. “I still feel…really…”

“Well, let’s give it until next week and go from there. Eren here’s your homework. You have done really well with your journal. Now you have to move on from that. You can still carry it with you for the times you can’t talk to people, but when you can, you need to talk. If you are feeling worried, tell someone. I’m sure Levi doesn’t mind if you talk to him about your concerns one bit.” I frowned and looked at my nearly full notebook. “Let’s start there. Talk now.” My eyes went wide and I turned to him. He gave my hand a squeeze.

“I…I ugh…there’s just so many…I feel like I’ll bother you if I talk to you about them.”

“You won’t. I promise. I’m here to listen.”

“See, things are fine Eren. You have an ear to hear out the majority of your concerns. Now then, I’m sure you have better places to be then cooped up in a stuffy office on Valentine’s Day!”

As we left, Levi took me into the bathroom for a moment and helped me wipe my face and get myself together.

“How bad do I look?” I asked him before I peered into the mirror.

“You look fine, Eren.” He scrubbed at the dried tears on my face, and after he wiped away the water he replaced the tears with his lips, fluttering against my skin. My eyes felt tired, but at least the skin on my face felt better now that it had been washed. Levi’s phone buzzed and he dug it out of his pocket. “Okay, time to go.” I stole a glance at myself, and besides my ruffled hair, I did look surprisingly okay. Levi pulled me towards the door, and there I found Erwin’s car waiting for us.

“What-“

“Just get in brat.” He said with a smirk. I hopped in and Levi jumped in beside me. We drove for a while and eventually ended up at the mall. I smiled as Levi opened the door up and pulled me out. Eren stayed in the car. “I’ll text you in a while Erwin. Thanks!”

“No problem!” Erwin grinned and drove off. Levi had our hands locked together and I felt my face beginning to flush. He obviously knew where the hell we were going. I didn’t.

“Levi, where are we going?!”

“It’s part of your Valentine’s Day surprise. But first, we are going to get that mop of your addressed.” He ruffled my hair as we walked and I smiled.

“Is it that bad?”

“Like I’ve said before, I don’t mind it longer, but it looks pretty rough. If you are going to grow it out you need to do it properly. Use the right shampoos and take care of it. You’ve got split ends from hell. It looks like a llama has been chewing on your hair.”

“Okay Okay! I get it.” He grinned and pulled me closer as we walked. The mall was mostly filled with last minute shoppers, looking for the perfect gift. I smiled at him as I pictured a llama actually chewing on my hair. I did have to say I was getting used to Levi’s proximity now, especially in public. Although the kiss was a one-time occurrence, holding hands and walking with our sides pretty much touching was a regular event. Someone called a rude name out across the mall at us and Levi stopped in his tracks, pulling me to a halt with him.

“Yeah, I was talking to you! Abomination!”

“Levi…let’s just go…” I begged him. I didn’t want confrontation, especially on Valentine’s Day. My nerves couldn’t take it. “Please.” He shot them a death glare and I clamped on to his hand. “No matter what you do…he’s not going to see things out way…” He turned his eyes on me instead and I swiped his hair away from his face. My hand touched down his cheek and he let out a frustrated sigh, and before I could process my embarrassment, I was leaning down, pressing my lips against his. I felt him tense against me, and then he chuckled a bit into the kiss.

“Hmm…you are going to make him very happy…” He said as we pulled apart. Levi’s cheeks were pink and I couldn’t resist but to brush our lips together again. It was nothing like the kiss in front of Anteiku, but it was still special, still a show of possession. But suddenly, the situation got out of hand, when I was tugged back by the hood of my jacket.

“HEY! No one wants to see that!” It was the same guy that had yelled at us from earlier and my heart dropped all the way to my stomach. I was absolutely petrified. I froze in his grasp as his hand tightened on my arm, and the next thing I knew, the guy had let go of me, and was dangling from Levi’s fists.

“DON’T. FUCKING. TOUCH. HIM.” My eyes got wide as I watched Levi pick him up and pretty much throw him across the mall. Holy shit he was strong. I whimpered and rubbed at my arm. Levi was at my side in a matter of milliseconds, and he had his arms around me. Security was approaching us, asking if we were okay, and even offered to walk us around. Levi just insisted that they escort the guy out, and he pulled me close again as we walked on to the salon.

“You alright?” He whispered as he rubbed my shoulder. I nodded and leaned against him.

“Yeah…that was just…”

“People are fucking ignorant pigs.”

“Yeah…”

“Tch.” I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek and brought out a chuckle from him. “Jaeger, you just don’t learn do you? You almost got your ass kicked over that, and there you go again.”

“You shouldn’t dress like that.” I joked. “Besides, you promised to protect me, right?” He grinned and pulled me into a one armed hug as we arrived at the salon.

“Here we are.”

“Welcome!” The woman greeted us with a warm smile. “What can I do for you two cuties today?”

“Can you fix me?” I begged. She laughed and looked at my hair.

“Sure thing! Anything for you, dark and handsome?” Levi smirked and nodded.

“Yeah. A trim and an undercut.”

“Alrighty! You first!” She pointed to me and I sat down in her chair. “So what do you want?”

“I’m not sure. I know I want the dead ends off for sure.” I frowned as I looked at myself in the mirror.

“Well, I’ll just focus on that then. Maybe throw in some layers.” I nodded and she spun me around. I watched as my hair fell in curtains around me. Wow…it really had gotten long. Mikasa usually took care of it at home. Haircuts at a shop weren’t something we could afford. Eventually after some normal salon banter between her and Levi, I was finished up, and she spun me around. My hair was definitely short again! I felt odd for it to be so light. She had added a lot more layers than Mikasa did. I ran my fingers through it and smiled. Levi was staring at me from the side like I was a piece of steak. It was a little scary.

“Next!” We switched places and Levi took the chair. “Okay, what about you?” He was SUPER specific about what he wanted, nearly down to the last hair placement. I thought he might take the scissors from her at one point. Eventually thought, she started shaving the undercut, and she was precise about it. She trimmed the top part of his hair next, all the way to his bangs, and I watched his silky ebony hair fall to the floor. He looked just as he did when we had first met, and not a hair was out of place. I smiled as he stood up and brushed his clothes off. We paid for the cuts, along with some shampoo to repair my hair at the register, and I saw him slide her some cash. I’m glad he tipped her, because he was being pretty particular about his cut.

“Thanks for my haircut!”

“You’re welcome. It looks good on you.”

“Yours does too!” He tugged me into hottopic and I went straight for the anime shirts.

“Pick something bright for tonight.” He said as he pushed me forward. I chose a green Sword Art Online shirt. “Now pants. I know you want another pair.” I ran over to the rack and spotted a white pair. They were actually men’s, but these weren’t baggy like the others. I grabbed my size, and Levi smiled. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Let’s head out. We need to go home, so we can get ready. We’ve got big plans for tonight, Eren.” He hooked his arm around my side and we walked to the checkout.

 

Later that evening

“Levi-” I was hopping into the white pants, zipping them up and buttoning them. “Do these look alright?”

“They look great. Your ass looks perfect actually.”

“LEVI!!!!”

“You wanted the truth, right?!” he chuckled and looked at his phone. “Hurry up. We’ll be late.”

“For what?”

“It’s a surprise. Duh.” I frowned as I threw on my shirt, but then my expression completely changed as I looked at Levi. He looked amazing in every fucking sense of the word. He had lime green skinny jeans on and a black tank top. Loosely tied around his neck, hung a matching green scarf, hanging almost like Yato’s. Oh. My. God. I walked over to him like a zombie. “Eren…are you ok-MMPFH” I stole his lips in a kiss, and nearly yanked him on top on me. My fingers twisted in his hair and I caught the sweet smell of his cologne. He had on a little more than usual and I was intoxicated by it. As we pulled apart, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Fuck. I hooked my finger under the scarf.

“You- you did this on purpose.” I whispered against his neck. He snickered and kissed my jaw.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” He said with that classic smirk of his. Ever since we’d watched Noragami, Yato had become one of my favorite characters, and I had even taken to sketching him out pretty frequently. Granted I was nowhere near as good as Levi. I took a step back to look him over again. The only thing out of place was his hair…now that I’d ran my fingers through it. His eyes were flawless as always. I don’t think I’d ever seen him this sexy before. It may have just been all the color on him. I didn’t know for sure. He went into the bathroom and combed out his hair before we ran downstairs and threw on our coats and shoes.

“Wait! I have to grab something!” I ran to the supply closet and pulled out a blue bag that I’d stored away yesterday. Levi’s eyes got wide. “We can take this, right?” He just nodded and tugged me with him. Erwin was waiting for us outside again.

“Alright Eren. Hop in.” Levi was grinning, and after I handed Erwin the bag to set in the front seat, Levi pulled me close to him and shut the door. “Okay Erwin. Do you have it?” That sounded…sketchy. Erwin laughed and handed a black piece of fabric to Levi.

“So for this to work, you have to 100% trust me. Do you?” Levi asked as he ran the fabric through his fingers. My heart was thumping. He was kind of scaring me, but it was exciting all at the same time. I trusted Levi with every ounce of my heart. I had no doubt in my mind that he would never let me down, or hurt me, but the risk of the unknown was still frightening. After everything I’d been through.

“Completely.” I said with a nod. He smiled and folded up the fabric.

“It’s going to be dark for a minute. I’m going to blindfold you because it’s going to be a surprise, but I’ll be right here. Okay?” My eyes got wide as he gently creased the fabric. “And if you start to feel anxious, tell me and I’ll take it off. No problem. Okay?”

“Alright.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to my lips before tying the fabric around my eyes. My heart was racing the whole time. I was terrified, but I was also excited. I couldn’t see anything, and I felt the car lurch into motion. Levi intertwined our fingers together, and the car was filled with silence. My heart was starting to beat faster, and it was joined with me trying to steady by breathing. I could do this. This didn’t have to turn into anxiety. This was a good thing. Not all surprised were bad.

I jumped as I felt warm lips press against mine. I could smell his cologne drifting over me, and it seemed to wake up all of my other senses. He tasted just as he usually did, but sweeter almost. His hand was resting comfortably on my shoulder. His tongue tickled and touched all of the places that I so loved, but it just felt so…real. So much more, invigorating. It was like I was really kissing him and taking notice of every detail because I was so focused. Eventually the car came to a stop, and he pulled away.

“Eren. We are here. Take this.” He put the handle of the bag in my hand and I heard the car door open and shut. The car on my side got colder, as the door opened and I felt hands on me. I flinched away until I realized it actually was Levi. “It’s me. Calm down. We’ll see you at ten Erwin. Thanks for everything.” He pulled me carefully to my feet, and held on to me. Good thing too, because I was swaying from side to side. I had no idea I was this unsteady without sight! I heard the car door slam and Levi’s arm was hooked firmly around my side.

“That’s it. Forward. Okay stop.” I felt air gush against me, and heard a door open and shut. Then it felt a lot warmer, like we were inside. “Stop again.” The bag rattled in my hand as I nervously moved my fingers. I heard a bell and immediately knew it was an elevator. So we were inside a building with an elevator? Levi chuckled and pulled me inside. I heard the doors shut. We were holding hands, and I couldn’t help but wonder if there were other people in there with us. My face started turning bright red. I could feel it reflecting back through the blindfold. “Relax brat. It’s just us.” He pulled me closer and pressed a kiss to my neck. I let out a whimper. Jeez this was a long elevator ride. Either we were going super high up, or it was a really old building. The bell sounded again, and Levi hooked me around the waist again. “Okay. This.” He loosened the grip around his gift bag and I felt it drop. “Can stay here for a moment. “You walk this way.”

We were really close, and whatever floor we had actually ended up on was eerily quiet. Finally we reach the spot he had intended and we stopped. “Okay, just stand here for a minute. Alright?” I nodded and waited as Levi left my side. I felt kind of empty without his warmth against me. I jumped again as soft music began to echo throughout the room.

_But I don't think I can wait_

_I've been living for this day_

_I think that if I do or don't_

_It'll turn out the same way_

Levi returned to me and I felt him wrap his arms around me from behind and rest his head in the crook of my neck. I felt his warm breath on my ear and I let out a little shiver.

_But I can't seem to pull myself away_

_And I hope that's OK_

_Even just the very thought_

_Makes me want to stay_

“Eren, are you ready for your surprise?” His fingers laced together with mine on one hand, while his other hand slipped off the blindfold. I couldn’t believe the sight before my eyes.

_This is more than I can take_

_I fear my heart will burst or break_

_If there's a thing as too much joy_

_I will be taken away_

We were in what appeared to be the top floor of one of the tallest buildings in the city, and the whole wall was made of a single pane of glass. The spectacular part about it, was the way Levi had timed everything so perfectly. The sun was setting so perfectly that it nearly took my breath away. Oranges, reds, yellows, pinks, and purples, were practically bleeding from the sky and you could see it for miles. Navy was pushing in at the edges and even further out you could see the black of the night and the stars. I was speechless, and all I could do was stare in complete silence and squeeze his hand as he held onto me.

_If I wrap you up inside of me_

_Kiss your fingers greedily_

_I will lose track of the floor_

_I will lose track of my feet_

“Eren…listen to me.” He whispered into my neck so low, that it barely ghosted off my skin. “You see that sunset? All of the stunning colors, the way it lights up the sky?” I nodded and he pressed a gentle kiss to the pulsing vein in my neck before pausing for a minute.

“Eren, to me you are more beautiful than that sunset. Inside and out. You have a personality that shines through even the darkest of days, and that’s what I admire about you.” He nuzzled my neck. “And just like that sunset, you light up my world. Sometimes it’s really easy to lose your way in the dark without a light to guide you. Well, you are that light for me, Eren. I’m so thankful I’ve found you.”

_All that you've conquered_

_Was already yours_

_Walking the night sky_

_Freckles to the stars_

He moved to my front before he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him, and he captured my lips as his once again, both of us bathed in the rich glow of the beautiful sunset. His eyes looked so perfect in that light. He just looked so…amazing.

_All that you've longed for_

_Is painted on my arms_

_Here, I can take you_

We spent the next few minutes relishing in each other’s company, and being thankful that we’d found each other in this world. This world that we’d both somehow managed to get the short end of the stick in.

 

“L-Levi?” He ran he fingers through my hair, and I smiled as I watched the orange reflect off of his skin.

“Thank you. This was amazing.” I felt like my face was going to go numb from smiling so much.

“You deserve it, Eren. You are special to me.” He said with a smile. The pinks and purples were flicking across the greys in his irises and GOD I just had to ask him.

“Levi…can…can I ask something?” He raised an eyebrow and pulled me closer.

“Sure.”

_But I don't know what to say_

_All my language slipped away_

_I only know that I am yours and_

_I hope you take the hint_

“C-can I take a picture? Your eyes…they just look…the sunset…” Full sentences just weren’t happening. I was too nervous and too dumbstruck for any of that nonsense. He just grinned and leaned up against the glass, facing out sideways.

 

“Like this?” I beamed at him and pulled out my phone. The colors were reflecting perfectly. I snapped a couple on my phone and I even got one of him from the chest up looking out over the city. “Okay Eren. My turn then. I was thinking the same thing. Purple and turquoise look fucking stunning together.” I mimicked his pose and he snapped a few as well, and then suddenly he hooked me around the waist, tickling me in the process and pulled me up close.

_Be still my sweaty little heart_

_You are my every waking thought_

_If there's a thing as too much love_

_I am guilty as I stand_

“Levi! BAHAHAHA!” I was grinning and laughing like a maniac as he snapped the picture and to be honest, so was he. We straightened up and smiled normally, then we took another picture together with the slowly fading sunset behind us.

_If I dive head first straight into you_

_The way I've always wanted to_

_I can't be held responsible_

_There's no telling what I'll do_

 

“One more?” He asked with a grin.

“But what else is there Mmph!-“ I heard the camera go off and my cheeks went instantly red.

“LEVI!!!” He was laughing and he kissed me again without taking another picture.

“That was priceless. Okay. Let go to part two of your Valentine’s Day surprise.” The first song switched over to some piano music that I recognized from Sword Art Online. There was a table set up behind us, with a couple candles lit and a bottle sitting in a bucket. Wow…He really went overboard. I eyed the containers on the table. They were from our usual Chinese takeout place. Wait…was that…curry? Levi grinned and pulled out my chair for me, and after we sanitized our hands, we looked over the food.

“Yes, it’s curry. I didn’t want to do something too crazy, like steak and have you puking at the rave.” I smiled and sat down at the table. “And no, that is not wine by the way. It’s grape juice. Sorry to disappoint, brat. It’s not good to mix alcohol with our medications, so I figured it’d be better to leave that out.”

“Curry is my favorite.” I said with a smile. We ate happily together over the piano music and after we finished with the curry, Levi pulled out a small cooler from under the table.

“Okay. These are for dessert.” He removed a pink box from the cooler and sat it on the table and opened it. Inside were at least a dozen chocolate covered strawberries. My eyes lit up as I eyed the strawberries. He scooted his chair right next to mine and set the box between us on the table. He picked one up by the tiny stem and hovered it over my lips and I bit into it. SO good! The chocolate melted just right with the strawberry. Levi finished off the corners of the strawberry and threw the stem on the plate. I picked up one and tried to feed it to him the same way, but he started laughing at me. “Eren, that’s backwards!” I looked down at the strawberry and nearly dropped it. I was so excited that I picked up the wrong end. Chocolate was melting all over my fingers. I turned the strawberry around and he quickly ate it before spitting out the stem and taking my fingers into his mouth and licking away all of the chocolate. This was just…too much. The last finger came out of his mouth with a pop and he winked at me.

“Levi…” A few strawberries later and we were both stuffed.

“Guess we can save the others for later? We still have like ten left.” He said as he looked into the box before folding it up and placing it back in the cooler.

“Sounds good. Oh, I have your present.” I leaned over where he had dropped the bag and reach it to him. Nothing compared to everything he’d went through to set this up for me, but it was all I could do. “I hope you like it.”

“Eren. I like anything from you.” He said as he pulled the paper in the bag away to reveal what was inside. His eyes went wide as he pulled each picture frame out, one by one and sat them on the table.

“Fuck Eren…” I had redrawn the covers of his manga while he was away on the last few days of his trip and made them 8x10. I had re-created all of them, so he would have them to hang above his drawing table in the living room. He peered closely at the lines and I hoped that he liked them. My style was so much different than his was. It was a lot more free-flowing and packed with color. “These are just fucking amazing. You did a great job. I love them. Thank you.” He leaned forward and kissed me with what seemed like everything in his soul. Our tongues danced, and it tasted like strawberries and chocolate. He softly licked at my lips, getting the point across how much he truly appreciated every second of work I put into them.

“Oh right, I have yours too.” He said with a grin.

“B-But what was this?!” He smiled and leaned in to lick a drop of chocolate off of the corner of my mouth.

“Our Valentine’s Day date.” He leaned down and picked up an envelope and handed it to me. It was a pretty big envelope, about 16x20 at least and I carefully opened it. Another envelope fell out and I looked at him with a confused expression. “Open the small one, then look in the big one.”

I smiled and I opened the envelope, revealing a card. It had a picture of a sunset on it, and inside (along with a gift card that I removed so I could read) it read.

To my dearest Eren,

Although it hasn’t been long, I feel such a connection with you. I look forward to spending the rest of this Valentine’s Day with you, as well as many many more.

                                -Levi xoxo

 

I smiled and looked at the gift card.

“Hobby Lobby?”

“You’ve never been?”

“No.” I looked at the amount and my mouth dropped open. $500.00

“HOLY SHIT. LEVI YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO-“

“I wanted to. We can take a trip to Shiganshina together one day and go. We’ll get a rental car and make a whole day out of it. Besides, you need art supplies right?” I beamed at him and nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Then it’s a date, then. How about in a couple of weeks. I’ll request if off for us.”

“Sure.” He pressed our lips together, and we just sat there for a moment in comfortable silence, before he ran his fingers through my hair. “Okay, big one next.” He said with a smirk. I returned to the big envelope and reach inside, feeling a piece of plastic run through my fingers. I pulled on it, and a plastic covered drawing slid out of the envelope. My breath caught in my throat. “L-LEVI.” Tears were nearly threatening to burst out as I looked at the drawing. He put his arms around me and I brought the drawing up into my line of vision so I could continue to look at it.

“It wasn’t meant to upset you. Okay?” I nodded and wiped away a couple of tears that had found their way passed my eyelashes. “I did it because I wanted to.”

“Y-Yeah. It’s great, Levi. Thank you.” In my hands I held a drawing, nearly identical (but slightly bigger) than the one he’d drawn that day in the studio. The same drawing that I had stored in the drawer in my bedroom at my old house. That same drawing that my dad had fucking destroyed. It was flawless. In my eyes at least. “H-How could you remember it so clearly?” He smirked and rubbed my back.

“You always have the same expression when you draw. The last time we were in the studio, that’s what I was working on. You didn’t even notice.” He said with a snicker.

“So…” He picked up his phone and looked at the time. It’s 8:00 now. Erwin won’t be here until 10.” I frowned and he gave my hand a squeeze.

“So what are we gonna do for two hours?” He winked at me and pulled me to my feet.

“You think I wouldn’t have planned for that as well?” He pressed himself up against my back and covered my eyes with his hands. Truthfully, I hadn’t bothered to look around the room much, and Levi moved us together slowly for a couple of minutes, until finally, we came to a stop once again. He lifted his hands off of my eyes and we were in a different room. This one had a big TV on one wall, and it looked like it normally was used for conferences, but all the chairs had been pushed up against the wall and only one set of lights were on. An anime was already pulled up on the screen. I didn’t recognize it. As I looked closer, I noticed a couple of cushions and blankets waiting for us in the floor. He really had thought of everything.

He tugged me towards the blankets and we sat down together. After we got comfortable, and snuggled up under the blankets, we stared at the screen. It was nearly an hour and a half long. Clearly a movie.

“Did you pick this, Levi?”

“Yeah. I know we haven’t seen the series, but it looked good. I haven’t watched it either, so it’ll be new for me as well.” I smiled and snuggled closer to him as he started the movie. It was called Sekaiichi Hatsukoi the Movie. The main character was really struggling after he had his heart broken by his first love, but then another man appeared in his life and began turning it around. I held on to Levi the whole time, just being thankful that I had him, and that I wasn’t going to lose him like that. I couldn’t help but notice how similar we looked to the characters.

“Fuck, you look just like Kirishima, Eren.” Levi said as he nuzzled my neck. “Well, maybe pre-haircut.”

“I was thinking the same thing about you and Yokozawa!” We started giggling, and continued watching on as the credits rolled. We noticed that there was still about 20 minutes left on the scroll bar. An “after” episode popped up, and it just so happened to be Valentine’s Day themed! The only couple we recognized really were Yokozawa and Kirishima, but it was still a good episode nonetheless. “You totally planned that!” I said with a grin as I tackled him into the cushions.

“I swear I didn’t! I didn’t know! I haven’t seen it!” He kissed me gently as I settle at his side, enjoying the soft warmth and his light chuckles. His phone began to ring suddenly and it startled us. We broke apart and he picked it up to answer it. I heard Erwin’s voice, although it was muffled, saying they would be here in 10 minutes. Levi agreed and hung up. After he stuffed the phone in his pocket, he gave me one more kiss before we both stood up. “Alright, let’s grab our stuff and head out. I hope you enjoyed everything.” He said with a soft smile.

“I did! It was perfect!” He was smiling brightly at me, and I just threw my arms around his neck again. I couldn’t help but show him every ounce of my affection that I could. He’d just went through so much trouble for me. My stomach was churning in an unfamiliar when we’d pressed together earlier in front of the sunset, and now that things were calm and quiet, I could think back to that. I was feeling that same way again. I had felt it when Yokazawa had his outburst in the movie…I felt like I’d never wanted to lose Levi. Like something in my chest was burning. I felt that same feeling when my mom was sick, but this was completely different. There was some different emotion wrapping itself entirely around the sinking feeling in my stomach. Like I had butterflies, and Levi caused those. I nuzzled his neck and smiled. His arms were around my waist almost instantly, and there it was again. My beating pulse, that fluttering in my stomach and the soaring in my chest. Wait…This was…Surely I wasn’t…I felt myself nearly go pale… I hadn’t fallen in love with Levi had I?

He pressed a kiss to my cheek and sure enough, there was that pitter patter of my heart again. Heat rose in my cheeks and I leaned closer into him. Shit…This wasn’t supposed to happen yet. Not when we were supposed to both be healing. It was too soon to be falling in…love. But I guess it was too late for me. I pulled back and dared to look in those silver eyes and after catching a glance, I captured his lips. It was almost enough to send me into a panic attack, but I wouldn’t let something like that defeat me. I would NEVER let something like my love for Levi send me into one…that just seemed stupid. I held onto him tight, and I just felt myself being swept away by my heart. He was my prince charming after all, so it only made sense that he would steal my heart. I just smiled at him as tears nearly threatened my eyes. I was so happy I was in love. So happy that he treated me so well. But I was so fucking scared. The only people I had ever loved had either passed away or I had to abandon or turn away from. I was clinging to him for dear life almost and he held on to me just as tight. My heart was almost breaking. I couldn’t tell him. No way. He’d lost someone too, and he was still healing. It was going to take a while, but eventually, when the time was right, maybe I could tell him. I would just have to show him how much I loved him with my actions.

“Eren, you ready?”

“Y-Yeah!” I grabbed the cooler and the envelopes from Levi, and after he gathered up his bag from me, we rode the elevator downstairs and met Hanji and Erwin in the car to get ready for the rave.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the Valentine's Day special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here comes the Rave! And maybe some after rave goodies? ;) Hehe <3
> 
> I hope everyone is still liking the story??? <3 Comments are loved as always :3
> 
> Featured songs of course, because you CAN'T have a rave without some awesome music. 
> 
> Zedd- Fall Into the Sky Feat. Ellie Goulding
> 
> 3lau- How You Love Me Feat. Bright Lights
> 
> Seven Lions - Lose Myself Feat. Lynn Gunn 
> 
> Have a Happy Valentine's Day everyone! <33333

Eren’s POV

We put our stuff in the hatch and jumped into the back seat together, greeting Hanji and Erwin as we did so. They were dressed brightly as expected and Hanji began shoving glow sticks in our direction as soon as we were settled in to our seats.

Levi’s fingers danced lightly over my wrists as he clipped the bracelets into place. We switched and I attached his as well. We weren’t picky over the colors, decorating each other with pinks, blues, purples, and greens. We drove for a while, as the familiar city we were used to disappeared and Shinganshina closed in around us. It was more condensed and the buildings were a lot closer. Apartment complexes and business towers loomed over Erwin’s SUV as we drove through. It was easily the largest city within an hour’s drive of our town.

Soon, the sound of thumping music surrounded the car, and we pulled into a parking garage. Levi tossed his jacket in the backseat and I did the same with mine, huddling close to him for warmth. Erwin and Hanji stripped as well. After he locked the car, we headed for the club, and after the same bribery like Hanji pulled in New York, I was in the club in a second. It was smaller than the one in New York, but there was plenty of room to dance, and there were TONS of people crowded on the floor. There was a bar along the side, and I watched as the group pretty much moved together with the thumping music.

_This feeling is heavy_

_Makes my body ache and I’m ready_

Levi grabbed my hand and tugged me with him. I swear this was Déjà vu,

“Have fun kids!” Hanji said as she took ahold of Erwin and yanked him into the crowd.

“We aren’t going in there.” Levi said seriously. My heart was thumping and it settled a bit. No way in hell I was dancing with all those people. My anxiety would be through the roof, and I’m glad he understood that. I gave his hand a squeeze and followed him.

_To fall into the sky_

_I see now_

_The reason why_

Levi pulled me past the large group and over to the side. There was enough room to dance, and a few straggling people, but not so many that I thought I’d get knocked over. He was holding onto my hand with a death grip, and he glanced around the room for a second before settling down. He began stepping around a bit and getting into the beat. That same content expression began to settle on his face and a smile soon twitched at the corners of his mouth. With music guiding him, he could relax.

_My heart is heavy_

_Takes me to a place I can’t breathe_

_Only then I know why I see_

_The warning sign_

“This alright, Eren?” We were holding hands, but I didn’t feel like I was going to puke from embarrassment, so I guess it was okay. No one was really staring, so it was fine. I guess people didn’t really care here, or they were too focused on the music or their own dates to mind. I nodded and felt the music begin to pulse through my legs. I started to move my body, along with Levi’s timing, and a smile crept up on my own face. The DJ announced the next song and flipped it over. The familiar sounds began to echo throughout the club, and the lights began to flash in time to the music.

_Nobody's perfect I'll never try,_

_But I promise I'm worth it if you just open up your eyes,_

_I don't need a second chance,_

_I need a friend,_

_Someone who's gon' stand by me right there till the end,_

_If you want the best of my heart, you've just gotta see the good in me._

 

We moved in slow motion together, our bracelets seemed liked they created a streak of glowing rainbow as we moved together, and bit by bit, we dared to move closer. It was so new to me, being this close to him in public. Sure we had hugged and held hands, but dancing like this was totally different. And on Valentine’s Day to beat it all.

_'Cause I could be the rain in your desert sky,_

_I could be the fire in your darkest night,_

_I could be your curse or your angel,_

_It's all in how you love me._

 

Like magnets, we drew closer to each other, and I focused in on the smoke rings around his silver eyes. We were nearly touching now, and the next thing I knew, his other hand was on my hip. A shiver ran through me, and I couldn’t help but glance to his face, relaxed in perfect joy, letting the music soar him to places that I tried to relax myself in to. However, my heart was about to thump out of my chest as my boyfriend held onto me. Levi gave me a soft smile and leaned up to whisper in my ear.

_I could be your sun when it's cold outside,_

_I could be your rock when there's nowhere to hide,_

_I could be your curse or your angel,_

_It's all in how you love me._

 

“Eren, just relax. Act like it’s just us. No one gives a shit. Half of them are already drunk. The other half are focusing on getting laid tonight. Just be yourself. Have a good time.” He kissed my cheek before he dropped back down to his regular dancing and began moving my arm back and forth. I just laughed and moved my own arm to rest lightly on his shoulder. It may have been awkward, but I truthfully had no idea where to put it. He was swinging his hips in time with the music in a way that nearly hypnotized me, and I really tried to move in my own way, and even tried to mimic him.

_It's how you love me._

He stepped closer still, and finally, we were pressed right up against each other. Our hands broke apart and his arms were wrapped around me, moving up and down as we moved to the music. My other arm linked with my lonely hand on his shoulder and hooked around his neck. He smirked as we danced together, and even winked at me as he playfully flicked his hair back and forth with the bass. The songs switched and faded into a slightly different speed and we adjusted accordingly. This was the new Seven Lions song. Levi had told me about it as soon as it had released last week.

_Under rocks of memories,_

_Underneath desire,_

_I found what I'm missing in your fire_

His hands were moving up and down my sides and around to my back, and I couldn’t help but notice the playful glint in his eyes. His tongue flicked across his lips and he smirked. His lips just looked too good to pass up. I closed my eyes and just listened to the lyrics and continued to move my body along with his as I leaned down to press our lips together.

_Up above the skyline,_

_High above the lights_

_You become the echo of my life_

His hand was in my hair instantly, while one lingered on my lower back. We still danced to the music, although a bit slower and not really concentrating on getting the moves just right, as we kissed. His tongue moved enthusiastically against mine, and my heart was threatening to beat right out of my chest. I swear I could hear its beat louder than the bass. His tongue moved from playing with mine in a sensuous motion, to darting out and licking at my lower lip. His fingers combed through my hair and my God, did everything just feel so…right. Everything here in this moment felt exactly how it should be.

_Ooh oh oh, I wanna lose myself inside you_

_Ooh oh oh, I couldn't let you go if I tried to_

 

We fluctuated between pulling apart to breathe, dance, and just flirt with each other for a while, until around 1:30 or so. I could tell Levi was getting impatient as he began dipping his fingertips up underneath the bottom of my shirt. I shivered as his fingers ran against my skin. He took my hand and pulled me further out of the way. I had been perfectly fine where we were, so I had no idea why-UGH! Levi pushed me up against the wall and he gave me a playful smirk.

_You fly me so high,_

_I look down below_

_The shadow of night hides_

_The way that we glow_

_Ooh oh oh, I wanna LOSE MYSELF inside you_

 

I glanced around us and noticed we were in a relatively dark corner of the club. Levi had his hands pressed up against my chest and he was moving against me. Shit….this was bad. He was grinning like a mad man, and I was pinned helplessly into place.

“L-Levi….”

_Oh oh oh, just breathing, just keep breathing_

_Oh oh oh, all these feelings, all these feelings_

 

“Shhhh” He whispered it against my lips and I just stared in amazement as I watched him move to the music, holding on to me as he did. I put my hands on his hips and he let out a breathy sigh. Fuck. He was stunning. His green pants were practically lit up under the black lights, and his scarf was doing the same thing. I moved one of my hands quickly to his middle back, without thought, because if I had thought too much about it, I would have surely hesitated. I pressed him right up against me, and captured his lips. He was pushing his hips into mine, grinding into me, against this wall. His mouth was so warm. So sweet, so inviting. And yet his hips were harsh, needy. He was panting as he pulled away and his mouth dropped to my neck, sucking and nearly biting. I let out a little yelp and he backed off. I had never seen him like this. He seemed almost…animalistic.

_You fly me so high,_

_I look down below_

_The shadow of night hides_

_The way that we glow_

_Ooh oh oh, I wanna LOSE MYSELF inside you_

 

“T-Too hard.” I ran my fingers through his hair and he gave me an apologetic look. ”S’ okay. Just stick to easy stuff…okay?” He nodded and his lips dropped back down, leaving feather light kisses and sucks for a while, that eventually turned into harder sucks. They never again progressed past that though. I was practically grinding against him as well as we continued to move in time with the song, and our lips were together again, hungrily stealing kisses from each other.

“FOUND YOU!” We jumped apart from each other as Hanji’s voice rang in our ears.

“DON’T FUCKING DO THAT!” Levi hissed as he wiped his mouth on his arm.

“Sorry kiddos! It’s getting pretty late! Old man is whining.” She motioned to Erwin who was approaching us now. “He said he has to work at 11 and needs his beauty sleep.” Levi frowned.

“Fine.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him. The club was a lot less crowded now, but I guess he still didn’t want us to be separated. We walked past the dancing crowd and the thumping music and I swear I spotted a familiar face, but I paid them no mind. They were buried deep in the crowed anyways, and like Levi had said, it was Valentine’s Day. Whoever the face belonged to, probably only cared about one of two things.

We climbed into the back of the car and Levi scooted unusually close to me. His hands were on me as soon as Hanji and Erwin were settled in and music was turned up.

“Ugh…Levi?” I whispered it in his ear and he turned his mouth back to my neck. The sleepy city’s lights flashed into the back of the car as his breath danced across my neck.

“Mhmm…” Kisses danced quietly across my skin in the crook of my shoulder, and I didn’t dare to move. He was holding onto me in the back of the dark car and his warmth was so welcomed. We hadn’t even bothered to pick up our jackets and throw them on when we hopped in. The heat was on full blast and it was finally reaching back to us. He moved his mouth up to lock onto mine, and I just prayed that Hanji and Erwin weren’t watching. My heart was thumping in my chest. He placed a few gentles kisses at first, nothing too risky, but then I caught a glimmer of those grey eyes I so loved. They seemed almost silver from the way the fluorescent lights of the city were reflecting back in them and it made my breath catch in my chest. I heard a low chuckle, and the next thing I knew, Levi was on my lap!

“Levi!” He was smirking as he silenced me with a kiss. I could definitely feel exactly why he was so turned on.

“Hey, wait until you get home. I don’t care if you make out, just don’t get my seats dirty.” Erwin said with a laugh. I was completely mortified. I buried my face in his shoulder and sunk down. He wasn’t having any of that, however. Levi dug his fingers into my shirt and pulled me up. Our mouths crashed together again, and I couldn’t help but let out a small whimper as our teeth accidentally clanked together. He felt so small on my lap, and I finally just gave in to him and rested my arms on his hips. He gave me a smile as he pulled back, licked his lips, and dove back down again. One thought stuck out in my head as Levi kissed me. His hair was a mess. When had that happened? I cracked my eye open and looked at the disheveled hair in front of me. I had never seen Levi’s hair like this, apart from when he had just woken up.

He was always fixing it, making it perfect. I just couldn’t resist. I snaked my hand up into his hair and wound my fingers into his hair as I shut my eyes again. I felt him relax even more against me, and his hand went into my own hair, while the other held onto my shoulder. My fingers twisted and turned, making his hair an unruly mess.

My lips had nearly gone dry by the time we pulled into the driveway. Erwin kicked us out of the car, along with our stuff, and with a wave, they were gone. Levi opened the door with shaky hands and we deposited our stuff by the door. The door slammed shut, locks turned, and the next thing I knew, I was being pressed up against it. Levi’s mouth was on my neck again, licking his way to my collarbone.

“Levi-Ugh! Why…don’t we go upstairs?” I begged. The door was cold against my back. He looked gorgeous as he smiled at me, from underneath that mane of unruly hair. He let me off of the door and pulled me upstairs by my hand, grabbing the cooler as we went. I had to practically run up the stairs as he drug me behind him.

Instead of leading me into the bedroom, however, he led me into the bathroom. His hands were already clawing at my clothes, pulling at my shirt. I lifted my arms up, and he tossed it to the side. He had that playful smirk on his face as he popped open the cooler and pulled out the pink box. He sat it on the edge of the sink, and pulled out one of the strawberries from earlier. After making sure the stem was completely gone, he placed half of it in his mouth and turned to me with a raised eyebrow. OH. MY. GOD. One of his arms wrapped gently around my waist, while the other guided my head down towards his. Our mouths met, and with a sweet crunch, the strawberry split in half. I licked my lips and chewed my half of the strawberry as he pulled away for a moment to start the shower.

He took the time to pull off his own shirt and grabbed another strawberry out of the box. He licked the end of strawberry and pulled me close to him again, running the end of it down my neck, and even drawing a line down my chest. My face was definitely red now. I jumped a little as I watched the chocolate melt against my skin. Levi shot me a little devious look as he shoved the rest of the strawberry in my mouth before he darted down and began licking the chocolate off. I didn't even recognize the sounds the came out of my own mouth. I writhed underneath the careful movements of his tongue, and suddenly, as it flicked over my collarbone and collected the creamy chocolate off of my skin, my knees buckled.

“Levi!” I felt myself fall and immediately his arm that had been looped around my waist tensed and pulled me closer. I went ahead and leaned the rest of my weight onto him and let him toned muscles support the weight. I felt my pants drop to the floor, along with my underwear, without a word, and Levi pushed me up against the now closed bathroom floor.

“Easy. Don’t fall brat.” One more kiss to my neck and I was able to steady myself. I heard his belt jingle and I looked down to see him fumble with his buckle for a moment. I relaxed into the wall of muscle in front of me and simply let my brain shut down.

“ ‘Kay…” My arms were around his neck as he fumbled with his pants, and I felt my face turn a deeper shade of red as they hit the floor. He was standing at full attention and I caught a glance as I watched his pants fall. He ran his hand from my shoulder, all the way down the curve of my back, making me shiver and draw close to him. I could smell his cologne again, sweet and inviting, and just a hint of sweat. Maybe it was from dancing earlier, and maybe it was from nerves? I wasn’t really sure. What I did know is that he looked damn near perfect still, even without his clothes on. It was funny, he nearly towered over me like this, when my knees were weak and he was holding me. The arm that was hooked at my back pulled me up towards him and began tugging me towards the shower.

We stepped in and I got a good look at his body from head to toe. Blood was rushing to my face (as well as other areas). I had never really got a chance to really admire Levi’s body before. We were usually in bed before we started getting playful with each other, and the only shower we had shared before was at Erwin’s. I really wasn’t paying attention to much of anything that night besides Levi’s kisses and words.

He was sculpted perfectly almost, from head to toe. And though he may not think it, his height was just right. He wasn’t so short that I had to bend down at ridiculous angles, and I really loved the way he rested his head on my shoulder from behind me. I loved the way he stood just a little shorter than me, even with heeled boots on. It made him, him. He seemed so delicate to me, and yet, after he took me into his arms I felt the muscles that promised to protect me. Muscles that I knew he worked hard on sculpting. I looked over his abs and chest, and even over his arms. They looked amazing. Even his legs looked tone, but not overly done. He still looked and felt soft to me. It was odd, but he still felt human. He still felt…real.

I leaned against him and pressed my hands against his pectoral muscles, feeling them tense just slightly. He leaned us under the water and began pressing kisses and sucking my bare collarbone.

“You know it’s rude to stare, Jaeger.” He whispered with a soft chuckle as drops of water bounced off of us. I smiled softly and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“You just look so...in shape compared to me…” I mumbled as I ran my hands over his muscles.

“You’ll be in shape soon enough. We are still taking that self-defense class together right?” I nodded as I tried to comprehend his words. He had switched to a regular conversation so quickly. I was just focusing on muscle and skin. I just nodded and pressed myself closer to him. “Well you’ll tone up then. We can exercise together.”

“Okay.” More time with Levi was always a good thing. No matter what it was. Hell we could be scrubbing toilets and I’d be fine with that. I let myself rest against him again as the streams of water rolled down around us. His mouth was back on my neck feverously this time, sucking and kissing, lapping at the throbbing pulse. “Mhmm…” I heard the body wash open, and the next thing I knew was that Levi was washing me. I was leaned up helplessly against the shower wall for support. “Lee…Levi…” He was running the bath pouf everywhere. Scrubbing every nook and cranny, making me clean. Eventually he worked his way down to my cock and gave me a playful smirk before he began washing me. I shuddered as he touched me and arched up against him.

“Do you do that every time you take a shower, Eren?” He asked with a smile. No. I don’t usually have my fucking hot boyfriend in the shower with me though…

All I could manage to do was shake my head. He just leaned forward and captured my lips and pressed up against me, spreading soap all over us. Mhmm…Levi was going to smell like me tomorrow… He was grinning as he backed up and just shrugged and began washing himself rather quickly with the same body wash. Now he REALLY was going to smell like me. He must be going crazy. I had definitely decided on it.

He hadn’t bothered to fix his hair. We had left our stuff by the door. We ate in the BATHROOM. Without bothering to use hand sanitizer or wash our hands first. And now, here he was using my body wash. For him to be such a control freak, something was obviously clouding his judgment.

Next he turned to my hair, and after pouring a good amount of shampoo into it, he washed it. He didn’t do as thorough as a job as he did the night of the blizzard though. He quickly washed his as well and then he gently pulled me under the spray of water with him to rinse all the suds from our hair and bodies. After he cut the water off, he jumped out and grabbed two towels. One he wrapped around himself, and the other he handed to me. I dried off quickly and mimicked his actions.

The towels were left on the floor and once again, our hands were back on each other, settling on hips, shoulders, waists, pretty much anywhere we could reach. Mine eventually landed in his soaked tangled hair and he gasped as my fingers got caught in a tangle. I opened my eyes to try to search out the knot and he muttered something about me not worrying about it, so I slid my fingers loose carefully and gave him an apologetic look and tried to be more careful. He just shrugged and stared into my eyes. Those stunning grey eyes were completely glazed over. His eyeliner had gotten wet in the shower and evidently it hadn’t been waterproof, because it had smeared a bit around his eyes. He looked wild, and he was currently edging me closer and closer to the bed.

“Eren. Just get on the fucking bed. I can’t take it anymore. Please.” He finally whispered as he hooked his arm around my waist and walked me the rest of the way over. “If that’s what you want tonight…” He tipped me back onto the bed and hovered over me. Holy shit. He was gorgeous. WAIT…What??! I wiggled underneath him nervously.

“L-Levi…I…UGH….” My hands found his and I felt myself begin to shake. I’m not ready. NO WAY. I didn’t want to disappoint him on Valentine’s Day though…SHIT! I squeezed my eyes shut and felt him lean over me and press himself down on me, chest to chest.

“Eren. Don’t be scared. Just trust me.” My heart was pounding. I could feel a cold sweat starting. We hadn’t even done that much! His lips were on my neck again and I felt my hand around his tighten again. I was practically digging into his with my nails… I felt him lift up, and his fingers ghosted against my jaw.

I felt my body being moved, and I let out a whimper. But then warm arms wrapped around me. He had lifted me up to the top of the bed with and sat me in between his legs. His arms were around me as soon as I leaned back against him, and his chin was on my shoulder.

“Talk to me. What’s going on, Eren.” My heart was still pounding, but I didn’t feel pressure like this. He wasn’t looming over me like this.He was just holding me. I could still feel his hard-on pressing into my back, but it wasn’t the same like this. I let out a sigh. I didn’t want Levi to hate me for this. He had went through so much to make today perfect. I felt like a total asshole. I cradled my face in my hands and he just pulled me back closer to him. “Eren?”

“Please don’t fucking hate me…” I groaned. The sentence came out harsher then I wanted it to. Levi stayed silent behind me, and I felt him press a kiss to my neck. “I’m…I’m not ready yet…” I whispered it. I was sure he barely heard it, but he made a sound like he did.

“It’s alright. I didn’t figure you were. I wasn’t planning on it tonight anyway babe.” He whispered it in my ear and my stomach dropped. He…he planned all this and he did it without any intentions of getting anything out of it?! I clawed at the bed for his hand and he gladly supplied it. Fuck…Forget boyfriend of the year. I had boyfriend of the century. “Tonight is about taking care of you, Eren. If you’ll let me…” he added. My heart sped up. What was bigger than a century?

“I trust you Levi.” I gave his hand a squeeze as I said it and he climbed out from behind me and piled a few pillows up in his place. I was propped up against the headboard, and he was hovering again, but I was less nervous now, knowing that option was off the table. Our lips met again, and any thought of nervousness was swept away again as he kissed my rational thoughts away. He took a moment to brush my hair back and press a kiss to my forehead, before he began moving down my body. He stopped at my collarbone and sucked a similar spot into place like he had on my neck, marking me. These were only his to see. These spots were under my clothes. Another one, though very faint was left on my stomach by my belly button as he worked his way down, leaving spots and kisses as he went. Kissing, licking, sucking, until eventually his lips were level with my hips. I gave him a nervous look and he just gave me a smile.

“Just relax.” My hand was gripped in the blanket tight as he hovered over me. I knew exactly what he had in mind, and just the thought was making me light headed. His tongue darted out to lick over the head of my cock and I whimpered underneath him.

“Fuck!” His hands were on my hips, holding me still. Good thing too, because I’m sure I would have come up off the bed if not. I heard him chuckle and I’m pretty sure some sound I’d never heard myself make came out as he took the head of my cock into his mouth. My eyes shut and I just couldn’t think straight. Levi was making me feel this way! This warm, sweet, wet heat. Fuck! He slid his mouth down the rest of the way, and I thought I was going to explode. I was writhing on the bed. I just couldn’t stay still. His mouth was gone suddenly and he was talking to me. Words. Right. Those things.

“Eren, does that feel alright?”

“Ugh-huh.” My chest was heaving. Holy shit. How could it NOT? “Feels fucking a-awesome.” He smirked and leaned down towards my ear.

“I’m gonna have you lean over the side of the bed. Okay?” I just nodded and let him guide my body where he wanted it. I was lying flat again, in the original position he had me, with my legs hung over the edge of the bed. I whimpered as he leaned over me and my cock disappeared into his mouth again. I cried out this time, nearly on the verge of a scream.

“L-Levi!” I fisted at the sheets. He was driving me crazy. What I did notice, was that it was harder for me to buck up my hips in this position. With my legs hanging off the bed, the weight pulling down put pressure on my hips. One hand guided my own hand to his hair and I froze. He WANTED my hand in his hair? “Y-You?!” He dropped his hand back on my hip to hold me down as my cock slid in and out of his mouth.

He was bobbing his head up and down, making the pressure build up and the pleasure rip through me. I couldn’t help but grip onto the raven hair that my fingers were settled into. He smirked around my length and continued with his work. I wasn’t going to last much longer with him shooting me glances like this, and letting it go so deep down his throat. SHIT! I felt the pressure beginning to coil and then I began to panic. WAIT? HOW?!

“L-LEVI!!! I’m getting c-close!” He pulled back long enough to nod and lick over the head of my cock once more before closing his mouth back around me and deep throating me again. I’m pretty sure it was a full blown scream this time. Pleasure was making all edges of reason blur and cloud and my hand gripped his hair. I felt his thumb gently rubbing circles over my hip bone, silently encouraging me. With one final glance with those mischievous silver eyes rimmed with smeared smoky black, my orgasm ripped through me and Levi continued on, almost to the point of over stimulation. I shuttered as he pulled back and once again, pulled me back up onto the bed. I was beside him this time, however. He threw the covers over me and snuggled up next to my side.

“Le…vi…wow…” My head was up against his chest and every thought I had was spinning in my post orgasmic haze. One thought stuck though. Levi hadn’t got off. He had been hard pretty much since we left the club. Holy shit. I sighed gently against him, and his fingers started to work the knots out of my hair. He was being so patient with me, and not asking anything of me. I need to be a good boyfriend too… I wasn’t ready to do THAT…but I could do something…

I reach my hand under the covers and found the rock hard length that needed release so bad. Levi groaned and I ran my fingertips over it, and did nothing to protest. I didn’t bother with teasing touches. I tugged on his shoulder and he slid down a bit more against me. My lips were on his neck, kissing and sucking little marks, like he’d done to me, while my hand pumped his cock. It didn’t take much for him to get worked up. He was moaning within a few pumps, and his breathing was getting shallow.

“E-Eren! Shit....” His hand tightened in my hair and I flinched. I didn’t like any form of roughness, but I’m guessing his judgment was just cloudy. Levi would NEVER do anything on purpose like that.

“H-Hair Levi…” His hand loosened and dropped completely.

“S-sorry. Didn’t mean…Oh…” His head leaned back into the pillows and I could see his eyes were shut. I sped up my pace and his breathing went rigid.

“Eren! EREN-SHIT! Please!” He was gripping the pillows and blankets tight. He cracked his eyes open to look at me, and my god, his eyes were gorgeous. They were shining like pure silver, glazed over with something that was illuminating so brightly that it glowed. He licked his lips as his hips came up off the bed a little. My hand worked a little harder and little faster.

“Gonna! OH FUCK!” His voice cracked as he moaned and I felt his warmth spill over my hand, and all over the blankets. “E-Eren…” He was panting hard as he reach for me. I simply wiped my hand on the already trashed blanket and got close. He chuckled and pulled the clean blanket up over us. “Holy shit…”

“Was that alright?” I asked timidly. My head was on his chest and his arms were wrapped around me. I felt so safe, and so perfectly content. Not to mention so completely in love with the man next to me.

“That was fucking amazing.” He pressed a kiss to my messy hair and I felt sleep tugging at me already. I heard him click off the lamp by the bed, and the only light filling the room was pure blue. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Eren.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Levi.” I muttered it softly before sleep tugged me away.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because you always have to pay for a good day, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me <3 
> 
> Things will get better.
> 
> I promise, because I am currently writing the better parts now. <3 See. Proof. I Promise <3 *dodges objects*
> 
> Hang in there love bugs! <3333

The next day

Levi’s POV

I woke up to the sun shining in through the house and into my eyes. Eren was practically shoving his face into my chest. We were both naked still, and the events from last night came flooding back into my memory. Holy shit. He was sleeping peacefully, although he was breathing rather heavily. His hair was a fucking disaster. He groaned against me and his eye cracked open.

“Levi…” He whispered it and snuggled closer. I could feel his bare body against me, warm from all the blankets and my own body heat.

“Good morning. Sleep well?” His other eye joined the first and eyes the color of the ocean looked up at me. I smiled and tried to fiddle with a few of the knots in his hair.

“Mhmm…Had a weird dream…” Shit…these knots were bad…I continued to pick at them and rubbed at his scalp every so often.

“Did you?”

“Yeah. We were at a disco club. Everyone. You, me, Isabel, Farlan, Mikasa, Armin, Hanji, and Erwin. I think Jean was even there.” He began drawing patterns on my chest absentmindedly as he told his story. “And we were all wearing those weird high heeled boots…”

“Even Erwin?”

“Yeah…”

“Shit. He must have been tall…”

“Yeah. He was like having to duck under stuff. It was scary.” Eren smiled up and me and laid his head back down. “But the disco balls kept popping up everywhere. Like multiplying. Then they would just start exploding into confetti…” I raised my eyebrow as I listened to him tell his story. I guess it was better than a nightmare…although 8 ft tall Erwin was pretty frightening. “Then Jean turned into a horse…but he was still wearing the clothes and dancing.” I snorted at that comment. “And we kissed at the end and then I woke up.”

“That was a weird dream, brat.” He nodded and pressed a kiss to my chest.

“Yeah, but the kiss with you was nice.” I grinned and he lifted his upper body up to stretch. HOLY SHIT. Oh no. He gave me a confused look as I ran my hand over his neck and down his chest. Fuck. I’d TOTALLY lost control last night. I frowned as I looked him over. He had quite a few marks on his neck, not just the one he was used to, and they went on as my eyes dropped down. His collarbone, his chest. Shit. I closed my eyes and mentally cursed myself. I fucked up. “What’s wrong?” He laid his own hand down over top of mine and I flinched.

“I…went a little crazy last night, huh?” I opened my eyes back up to stare into turquoise. My eyes kept falling back to the purple marks. Even if it was consensual, I still shouldn’t have taken it that far.

“I was kind of surprised. You weren’t really acting like yourself, but I really liked everything. So everything was great.” He grinned at me and leaned in to press a quick kiss to my lips. “But…umm…you have a few marks…so….sorry…” My hand flew up to my neck and my eyes went wide. Memories were flooding back. The kissing, the sucking, the marking. Every touch, every taste. Eren frown as he watched my reaction. “I’m sorry…I didn’t…”

“No! No…really…” he looked heartbroken as he watched me, and I ran my fingers over his own marks. “Eren, it’s fine. I just don’t want you to me mad at me for it.”

“No way! It’s fine.” He beamed at me and I smiled back. I could always throw on a scarf, especially in the winter. As long as Eren wasn’t upset. I hooked my arm around him and pulled him nearly on top of me. Relief washed over me. He giggled as his arms fell to either side of my head, and his smile faded softly. His lips met my neck in soft kisses to where I guessed were the spots of my new marks. There were at least 3 that were above my collar. I pulled him back up and looked over his neck, then I gave a soft sigh and began doing the same thing. I guess between the car ride, the bathroom, and the bed, he’d racked up a considerable amount. Hopefully he’d be able to get away with wearing a scarf at school. I began pressing soft kisses to all the spots on his neck, and I tried to not count. Thankfully, a lot of the worst ones were in the crook of his neck and on his collarbone.

He was red by the time I’d finished and he was holding onto me tight. Isabel was nice enough to give us the day off, so we could lounge around. “So what do you want to do today?” I asked as I brushed his bangs away. For one I was going to untangle that hair…

“Want to watch that DVD set Isabel let us borrow?” I nodded and stretched under him.

“Sure. Let’s shower first though. You can go ahead. If I remember right, the house is a mess.” Eren climbed off of me and rolled to the floor. I stood up after him and followed him into the bathroom. There was stuff everywhere. He wrapped his arms around me from behind as my hands went straight into my hair. “Holy shit…”

“I’m sorry, Levi. I know it’s a mess. I’ll help.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek and I sighed. My heart was pounding in my chest. How could I have been this crazy last night? I peaked over into the shower. Shampoo bottles were knocked over. I cringed. Eren squeezed me tight around the waist.

“Okay. Just…let’s just start.” I felt him let go and he flew to the shower and began picking up the shampoo bottles, followed by the towels and clothes on the floor. He stuffed the hamper full, practically. I just shrugged and looked at myself in the mirror. Everything about me was a wreck. My hair was knotted and a mess, my eyeliner was smeared, and I could finally get a look at the marks he’d left. The bathroom didn’t look as overwhelming with the laundry up. “Go ahead and shower.” He turned on the water and jumped in. I threw the box of strawberries away since there was only a couple left and they had been left out all night, and carried the cooler out to the bedroom.

I walked back in the bathroom and started my morning routine. I washed last night’s eyeliner off my face and began the task of working the tangles out of my hair. Eren’s hair was going to be fun.

“Be sure you let the conditioner soak in!” I yelled over the running water. “Your hair is a mess.”

“Okay!” I heard a bottle pop open and I could see the shadow washing his hair. I brushed my teeth next, and followed up with shaving. I sighed and wiped off the sink. I’d probably come up later and give the bathroom a good wipe down with some scrubbing bubbles. I made my way to the shower myself. Hopefully he’d had enough time. I didn’t really care at this point. I felt gross, and I needed to be clean. Right now. I pulled the curtain back and he shrunk back, with suds still in his hair.

“Levi!” I hopped in beside of him and let the hot water run over me as I shut the curtain.

“What?”  


“At least give me a warning! Like-Oh I’m coming in.”

“Why? I’m your boyfriend, not your parent. If I catch you playing with yourself, I’ll just join in.”

“LEVI!!!” Eren immediately turned bright red and pushed himself back against the wall.

“I’m joking, brat. Relax. I felt gross. Sorry. I hope you don’t mind.” He came up off the wall and wrapped his arms around me.

“Nope. Not at all!” I pushed him back gently and he frowned.

“Let me wash first. Please. I’m just…gross.” I scrubbed every part of my body, and afterwards, I let him draw closer, wrapping his arms around me. We stood for a while under the stream of water, and eventually, we climbed out of the shower

After we were dressed, we didn’t do much aside from throw on some comfortable clothes. I didn’t even bother to put on eyeliner and I hoped he didn’t mind. He frowned as he stared at his hair in the mirror. It was a mess. I grabbed a comb, and tugged him with me downstairs. We grabbed a box of breakfast bars, and a couple of glasses of juice, then I plopped down on the couch.

“Sit on my lap.” His eyes got wide and his cheeks began turning pink as he sat the bars down on the table, along with his juice. I sat my own glass down and pulled him close as he sat down. I gently worked on the knots in his hair as he nibbled on his own cereal bar. I got the first knot loose and moved on to the next.

Finally, after working them all loose, his hair was finally tidy. I ran my fingers through his hair after each pass of the comb, just because I could. It was so soft now, and practically dry. Eren was nearly slouched over on my lap. I abandoned the comb entirely and just started running my fingers through his hair.

“Eren…you still awake?”

“Yeah, that just feels nice.” I swept his hair back towards me and he let out a soft sigh.

“Okay. How about we watch some anime now?” I smiled as he turned around to look at me.

“Sounds great.” He scooted off of my lap and sat beside me, and I couldn’t help but think about how cute he was. He curled up in the blanket as he waited for me to set up the DVD. I joined him after I stared the anime and I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him up against my side.

I looked down at Eren as the opening song began to play. (I could always catch it on the next episode) He was so stunning, with those perfect blue-green eyes set right on the TV. I brushed my fingers through his hair again and he glanced up at me with a smile. He had his head in my lap, and his arms were wrapped around a throw pillow. The rest of him was bundled up in a blanket. I swear my love grew for him each and every day, and yesterday did nothing but make my heart yearn for him even more. I wanted to confess to him with every ounce of my soul, but it just wasn’t the right time. He’d just been through so much. My eyes flicked back to the screen after the song ended and a boy with the same colored eyes as Eren appeared on the screen.

 

Later that day

“LEVI!” Eren groaned as he rolled over in my lap.

“What?” The DVD was playing the ending theme from the final episode on the movie. We’d have to catch up on the anime online, just like Isabel had said.

“Let’s go watch it now!” He was looking straight up at my face and even reach up to run his fingers along my jaw.

“We just watched 13 episodes straight through, Eren. We should probably stretch. I’m pretty sure you can get a blood clot or something.”

“NOOOO!!!” he kicked his feet and groaned.

“Come on brat. We just watched it for nearly seven hours. Let’s do something else.”

“NOOOOOO!” I smiled and leaned down to kiss him.

“Yesss. Come on. Get up. Let’s eat something. All we’ve had today is junk food. I’ll make you something real to eat.”

“Okay.” He sat up and followed me into the kitchen.

“What do you want to eat?” He just shrugged as he sat down at the island. “If you are going to be difficult, I’m making what I want to eat then.” I said with a smirk as I pulled out the pancake mix and sausage links.

“Breakfast for dinner?” Eren asked as he watched me mixing up the batter.

“Why not?”

“Not complaining!” He said with a grin. I poured the batter into a hot pan and began flipping hot pancakes out. I turned out two each for us, along with a plateful of sausage. “Thanks for dinner!” Eren happily tore into his food we chatted about nothing really in particular as we ate. Afterwards, I soaked the plates and put away all of the supplies, then tugged him upstairs with me.

“Levi, do you want to watch-“  


“No. We need to take a break.”

“But the captain-“

“I know the captain is cool. I like the main character myself. The whole show is fucking kickass. But we need a break. If we fly through it in one night- A: We won’t have anything to look forward to. B: We’ll both be exhausted tomorrow, because we won’t be able to stop until we are caught up with the season. I know how we both are with a new anime.” He sighed and nodded.

“Then what do you want to do?”

“Make the bed for me, and climb in.” It was dark outside now, and I glanced at the clock on the table. It was 9:30 now. The day had flown by…well 7 hours of anime will do that I suppose. Eren was straightening the sheets and blankets carefully as I looked through my nightstand. I pulled out the book I was looking for just as he was pulling off his clothes and jumping into bed. He hadn’t bothered with pajamas, so it was pointless for me to. I undressed and climbed in, with just my underwear on. The book lay in my hands gently and I flipped through as Eren watched me intently.

“It’s a book of French fairy tales.” I said as I flipped through the worn out pages. “My Nana gave it to me the day I moved. I’ve only opened it a few times.”

“Is it in French?”

“Just a few names and words. I can manage.” I said with a smile. “She taught me a little.” Eren nodded and snuggled closer. I started reading the first story in the book and my voice quietly echoed across the bedroom. Just after I had started the second story, I heard soft snoring on my shoulder. Eren was asleep. I kissed his forehead gently and set the book aside and turned off the light. Eren’s eyes opened back up and he glanced at me.

“Sorry. Did he get money out of the bean?” Eren mumbled.

“I put the book up for tonight. Go ahead and rest. We can always find out tomorrow. How about that?” Eren smiled and nodded, then pushed his head back into my shoulder. God this kid had such a huge chunk of my heart. I just couldn’t take it. “Sweet dreams, Eren.”

“Dreams. Vi.” He muttered it as he drifted off again and I pulled the covers up over his shoulders. I felt sleep tugging at my own consciousness, and eventually, I let it take me.

 

 

The next day

Eren’s POV

The morning went just as any other. We woke up with a little time to spare. We woke up gently, and Levi pressed kisses to my face until I actually did wake up. I took a shower and he made me breakfast. He made sure I wrapped a scarf around my neck today, so the marks he left would be covered. He made that guilty face of his, but I tried my best to assure him that there was nothing to feel bad over. I left for school around the same time as always and even made it with time to spare.

English class was pretty boring, but I managed to stay awake. Health however was another story. I walked into the classroom and nobody was sitting. I walked over to Armin, who was waiting for me as usual.

“Hey, why is everyone standing?”

“They decided to make us do stupid intramurals today for health. We have to go change and then play for the rest of the time. It may pass into 3rd as well. It’s already been cleared.” I sighed and nodded. Sports had never really been my strong suit. We picked up the uniforms on the way out the door and headed down to the locker room to change.

I stood in front of my locker and began stuffing my things inside and immediately realized I was in some deep shit. I glanced at Armin who already had his shirt off. I froze and my hand flew to the scarf around my neck.

“Hey Armin…what are the chances of them letting me play in this?” I pointed to the scarf and he giggled.

“Not very. Come on Eren. Just get changed!” He smiled and threw on his shirt on shorts. Holy shit. He was fast. “I’ll see you out there!” He ran off and left me by my locker. I stuffed my jacket inside and slid my scarf and shirt off next, along with my pants.

“Hey, aren’t you that faggot?! Look! Ewww, gross! Looks like he’s been busy! Fucking marked up.” My face turned blood red and I tried to cover myself by holding my shirt in front of my chest and neck. I didn’t recognize these guys. They must have been from another class.

“You don’t belong in here! You’ll try stuff on us! Freak!” I frowned and took a step back. Shit! Armin was already gone, and I’m pretty sure there wasn’t anyone else left in the dressing room. Jean was out with a doctor’s appointment today too, to beat it all. Just my luck.

The guy in front shoved me up against the locker and I whimpered. It knocked the air out of me, and really made it hard to breathe. Shit! I didn’t know if it was the force of the push or the oncoming panic attack that was forcing the air away, but I knew air was becoming an afterthought.

“Why don’t we teach this guy to go to the girl’s dressing room from now on? Huh?” I frowned and choked back tears as his fist connected with my stomach, and then with my face. Shit! I refused to fight back. Refused to resort to violence. He pushed me back against the locker again and I hit my arm against one of the sharp edges of the locks. I felt my skin rip and blood began to pour. “Shit! Let’s go!” I sunk down and tears began to pour, just like the blood dripping from my arm.

This wasn’t fucking fair. This wasn’t right. I just wanted to love and be loved just like everyone else in this world. I’m so tired of this shit. I cradled my arm as I sat there and sobbed, bleeding all over the floor. They didn’t have the right to treat me like this, just because I was different.

“Hey Eren, are you almost done- OH MY GOD!” Armin ran over to me and took one glance before bolting to get a teacher. The next thing I knew, I was being wrapped up in the nurse’s office, and then sent to Principle Shadis’ office once again.

“Eren, I already told you I was done with your drama in my school.” I stayed silent as he talked down to me. “And now here you are getting into a fight?” I frowned and stared at the floor.

“Sorry, sir.”

“What was this about? Surely it wasn’t about the same thing as before? Because I CLEARLY already warned you.”

“I ugh…had some marks sir.”

“Marks?”

“Hickeys…sir…”

“From?”

“My…boyfriend…” my stomach was sinking, something inside was clawing at me to stop, but I was a terrible liar. He’d be able to see through me in a heartbeat.

“The same one as before?”

“Y-Yes, sir.” He sighed and ran a hand over his head.

“Jaeger, that isn’t good. You are playing with fire. Now I’ve pulled up your academic records here…” Shit…I’m fucking doomed… “And it seems everything is improving actually. So this may not actually be a bad thing for you. But you need to watch yourself. You need to break it off. NOW. Pick it back up after you have turned 18. If not, I’ll just report it directly to the police.” My heart sunk all the way to my feet. He couldn’t do that, could he?

“Yes, sir…”

“And for the fight, you are suspended for 2 days. Since it wasn’t entirely your fault.” I frowned and nodded.

“Y-Yes sir.”

“You’re dismissed. Go home.” I nodded and walked out. I was fucking done with this place. How long until I graduated exactly?

 

 

A while later

I waited on the couch for Levi to get home. He had class until 2, so he’d be home any moment now. I was terrified. Everything was crashing, and I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t moved from the couch since I’d gotten home.

I heard the door unlock and Levi walked in.

“Shit, Eren you scared me. What are you doing home? HOLY SHIT?! What happened?!” He dropped his bag by the door and my heart kept sinking and sinking. I didn’t want him to get hurt. I loved him more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life, and I was so scared. So scared that he’d go to jail, scared that he’d be hurt by me telling him I loved him.

My bandages had bled through a long time ago, but I hadn’t bothered with putting on new ones. I felt his arms wrap around me and it just hurt. I was breaking and I couldn’t stop.

“G-Got jumped in the locker room. They said I should be in the girl’s room…” Levi pulled back to look at me and frowned. I felt his fingertips trailing over the fresh bruises and cuts and I longed for him to clean me up and take care of me, but I knew this wasn’t going to end that way. My stomach was churning and I wanted to puke. “LEVI!!!!” I screamed it and gripped at my arm, evidentially opening the wound back up. I felt fresh blood beginning to seep out, and that was perfectly fine, because I deserved every bit of this. “I…I…I need some space for a while…” He looked horrified and his arms fell away from me.

“E-Eren? What?”                     

“J-Just…need to clear my head.” I had tears streaming down my face and I’m pretty sure I felt my heart rip open. It was for his own good. I just had to keep telling myself that. That he wouldn’t go to jail because of me. “We need to take a break for a while…” I’d never seen someone look so hurt in my entire life before and it made me want to puke.

“Fuck you, Jaeger.” He walked to the door and grabbed his keys and his bag without saying another word. Shit. I’d really fucked up. The door slammed behind him and I let a sob rip through me, one that I couldn’t comfort. One that couldn’t be filled with anything less that Levi, and he wasn’t coming back anytime soon. FUCK!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the cliffhanger-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise things get better ~
> 
> I updated because I hate leaving things on an emotional cliffhanger like that, so PLEASE be patient with the next update. I don't have a lot typed for the next chapter because I've posted 2 tonight, sooooo yeah =3 It may be a few days.
> 
> Songs   
> Jason Mraz- I Won't Give Up  
> The Amity Affliction- Don't Lean On Me
> 
> A side note on the Amity Affliction- I've seen them once in concert! They are AMAZING!! And I'm going to see them again on the 26th :3
> 
> On to the chapter!! Please comment!!! <333

Isabel’s POV

“Where are they? They are never this late?” I tapped my foot and stared at the clock. An hour late for a shift? That’s just crazy! Without a call or a text? “Jean, go over there!” Jean nodded and threw on his coat and backpack, before heading out.

“I’ll keep you posted.”

 

Eren’s POV

I heard a knock on the door and walked over to see who it was. Obviously Levi wouldn’t be knocking. Jean? I opened the door to find him standing nervously on the doorstep.

“What are you doing here?”

“What the fuck happened to you?!”

“I got jumped in the locker room today at school. Why are you here?”

“We were worried at the shop when neither of you showed, jackass.” I frowned and invited him inside.

“Oh…I forgot about the shop today…sorry.”

“FORGOT?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I’m a total utter fuckup. Okay?!” Fresh tears started and I sat back down on the couch.

“Woah woah, calm down. I didn’t mean to upset you. What’s going on?”

“I-I…” I hiccupped and wiped my tears away. Shit. “I had to take a break with Levi…”

“Shit! Why? Did you have a fight?”

“NO…he’s fucking amazing…” I sobbed hard and I could barely breathe. “He’s ALL I could ever ask for Jean. I don’t want to be without him, and this fucking sucks! It’s Shadis. He threatened to call the cops on Levi if I don’t put it on pause until my birthday.”

“He can’t fucking do that, Eren.”

“Yes, he can. Levi is over 4 years older than me. We are fucked.” My face was practically at my knees now, because I was bent over so far, crying.

“How old is he?”

“H-He’s 22.” Jean frowned and looked at me nervously.

“Just be extra careful, Eren. Seriously. Be sneaky about it.”   


“I-I don’t want to fuck up Levi’s life…” Jean sighed and nodded.

“Well, pack a bag for a couple days and come over. Think about it at my house. Give each other some space?” Another sob ripped through me, and I just didn’t want to fucking let go. Levi was my family now. He was my hope.

“I…I love him Jean…”

“I know. We all know Eren. We can see the way you look at him.” I wiped my tears again and somehow Jean managed to help me stand. I went upstairs to pack a bag.

 

Jean’s POV

I sat on Eren’s couch as I waited for him to pack. I had no clue I was walking into this when I left work earlier. I pulled out my phone and got ready to text.

**To Isabel: Eren and Levi aren’t coming. Having some issues. Eren is staying with me. DON’T BE NOSY.**

I sighed and scrolled through my contacts as I found the unfamiliar name that I had barely texted. Levi.

 

**To Levi:**

**It’s Jean. I’m with Eren. You may not believe me, but he really cares about you. He’s trying to protect you from some bullshit drama with our principle and the cops being called on you because of the age difference between you two. He’s terrified something is going to happen to you. All he has done is cry since I’ve been here. Please don’t be too hard on him, he just doesn’t know what to do. I’m not sure either, and I know he’s too hard headed to talk to you about it himself. He’ll be at my house if you need him. We’ll be leaving in 15 minutes.**

 

I sent the message, which turned out to be one of those three page messages, but oh well, and shoved my phone into my pocket as Eren came down the stairs. I felt my phone buzz and immediately took it out and glanced, hiding the screen from him.

**Levi: FUCK. I knew something was up. Please make sure he brings his medication!**

How in the hell was I supposed to remind him of something like that?!

“So…you’ve got everything?”

“Yulp.”

“Toiletries for the night? Medicines…everything???” His eyes went wide and he ran back upstairs. Levi knew him better than he knew himself. I felt my phone buzz again.

**Levi: Just wanted to send that before you left. Thank you for taking care of him. I’ll figure something out. Just keep an eye on him for me, please. Eren can get REALLY low. He’s talked about suicide a few times, so please, just be careful. Hopefully things will be back to normal soon.**

**To Levi: Absolutely. Will do. He’s one of my best friends, so I will take care of him.**

“Alright! Good to go.” He slid the pills in his bag and followed me out the door.

 

 

Later that night

We sat around for most of the evening, and talked about the issues Eren had at school, and around 8 o’ clock, his phone beeped. He frowned and looked at it.

“Shit…”

“What?” I asked as I glanced at him.

“It’s a picture message from Levi.” I shrugged and he sighed.

“You know, it’s like I said before. As long as you guys are discreet for a month and a half, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” He clicked on the picture and sighed.

“Fuck…”

“What is it?”

 

Eren’s POV

I opened up the message and sighed. Tears threated my eyes, just like they had been since I’d gotten to Jean’s house. Since I’d stolen a glimpse of Anteiku from his house across the street, where I had stolen that wonderful kiss from Levi. I finally just let them loose and they began to drip down my cheeks. I looked at the beautiful drawing, and FUCK, he even filled it in with colored pencil. He drew us as scouts. The Wings of Freedom crests were flapping in the wind on our backs. We were standing on top of a grassy hill in his drawing, and there was a beautiful setting sun in the background. It even mimicked the sunset from Valentine’s Day. His drawing looked slightly different from his regular ones, a little bit looser maybe? Like he’d given up a little bit of his control. Maybe it was just the color he added to it, but I swear I could see it in his lines. We were holding hands in his drawing, and our faces were close, nearly kissing.

I showed it to Jean and he smiled.

“That’s amazing, Eren.” I just nodded as the tears kept rolling. I saved the pictured and clicked my phone back to my lock screen, which of course was Levi in front of the sunset, which made me sob.

“Fuck! This is just awful!” Jean patted me on the shoulder and I couldn’t help but lean forward against him. His arms wrapped around me, and though it helped a little, it was nothing like Levi’s arms. Jean’s hands didn’t go into my hair. Jean didn’t whisper advice into my ear, Jean didn’t press soft kisses to my skin while I had my breakdowns. “This isn’t the same…” I said it in barely a whisper, but I felt him nod against me. “I need Levi…”

“I know. I’ve not been through anything you are going through, Eren. I’m no Levi, but dammit I’ll do whatever I can to help.” I sunk further against him and felt my hand curl in his shirt. I had been trying to talk this through. Every step of the way so I wouldn’t slip into a panic attack, but I’d already had one today at Levi’s after he left, and I really didn’t want to have another. I felt my phone buzz again and I pulled it up.

**Levi: Eren, I know you want some space, but I just can’t be leave you like that. You are too special to me, so please let’s just meet and talk this over.**

I sighed and looked up at Jean.

“He wants to meet and talk. I’m so scared Jean…”

“Just go with your heart, Eren. You said you love him right? You think it’s mutual?” Just the thought terrified me.   


“I have no idea. I know he cares about me, and he takes care of me...”

“Like I said Eren, just go with your heart. Obviously you want to be with him. I think he deserves to know the situation.” I nodded and picked up my phone.

**To Levi: We can meet, but not in Trost. I’ll explain later. I’m sorry.**

I got an immediate answer back.

**Levi: How about I take you to Shinganshina tomorrow? I know it’s a school day, but I don’t care. One day isn’t going to make a difference. We can spend your gift card while we are there if you feel up to it.**

I sighed and looked down at his words on the screen.I guess Shinganshina wouldn’t be so bad. It’s pretty far away.

**To Levi: That’s fine. Would you be able to pick me up from Jean’s? Wait. Don’t you have class?**

I locked my phone back and wiped at my eyes for just a second before his icon popped up on my phone. His texts were almost instant.

**Levi: I’ll be there. Don’t worry about anything. Is 10 alright?**

I looked at his picture on my phone and longed to be by his side. I wonder where he was right now. UGH. This was ridiculous… I shouldn’t be missing him this bad. My heart shouldn’t feel like it’s going through a shredder.

**To Levi: That’s fine. I’ll see you then.**

I wanted to add so many things to the text, but I’d feel like an ass if I did. Telling him I needed space, and then telling him to sleep tight and have sweet dreams or that I missed him…I didn’t deserve any kind of condolence from him. I didn’t even deserve to hear him tell me not to worry. I didn’t really deserve to be texting him…

**Levi: Okay. Did you get your medicine? Or do I need to run by the house and grab it for you. You don’t even have to see me tonight. I can leave it at the door if you don’t have it. I just worry. Sorry.**

I sighed and just shook my head.

“What?” Jean asked as he watched me. He was thumbing through his own phone.

“Levi is texting me…he’s making sure I got my medicine from the house.”

“You can’t blame him, Eren. He cares about you. Makes you seriously think about that question I asked, doesn’t it. You mean a lot to him.” I nodded and looked at the message.

**To Levi: I got it. Thanks. I appreciate it. So you aren’t home?**

“I don’t think he ever went home today.”

“Maybe he went to work?” I shrugged and waited for a reply.

**Levi: No. I’m at the studio.**

So he didn’t go home today. Shit…I pretty much drove him away. I sighed and leaned back against the pillows. I’m a sad excuse for a human being.

**To Levi: Well, be careful going home.**

That’s the closest I got to say as a goodnight without being an ass. I wanted to call him, but that would make the situation worse.

**Levi: Will do. I’m still here for you Eren, no matter what. If you need me, please call. Any time. Get some rest tonight.**

“FUCK!” I threw my phone across the room and it bounced off the wall.

“Dude!?!” I pulled my knees up to my chest and began to cry again.

“This is bullshit…”

“I’m sorry Eren, but you can’t be destroying my room.” I held onto my knees and sobbed as I thought of Levi, the one person that could be holding me right now, as I was slipping down further and further into my pit of darkness. I needed him right now, but if I went to him, he could seriously get into trouble and I really didn’t want that. It was my turn to protect him.

 

 

Earlier in the day

Levi’s POV

I walked into the living room and Eren was sitting on the couch. He scared the piss out of me. I didn’t expect him to be home in the middle of the day, let alone in the condition he was in!

“Shit, Eren you scared me. What are you doing home? HOLY SHIT?! What happened?!” I slung my stuff down and ran to him. He looked awful, like someone had beat the shit out of him.

“G-Got jumped in the locker room. They said I should be in the girl’s room…” I ran my fingertips gently over the bruises on his jaw and I frowned. I was going to make those assholes pay. This was bullshit. “LEVI!!!!” Eren screamed suddenly and made me jump. I looked at him with wide eyes as he gripped at his bandaged arm. It had bled through the bandages already. They needed to be changed. “I…I…I need some space for a while…” Wait…Did he just say… I looked at him like he just said something in a foreign language. Sure he just had the shit beat out of him, but he would recover. I’d help him through it, just like always. We’d get through this as a couple, as a team.

“E-Eren? What?” I barely got the words out as my arm fell away from him. My hands were beginning to shake. I was terrified. Terrified of losing the man I loved to the very center of my soul.

“J-Just…need to clear my head.” Tears were starting to run down his face. It was hurting him to say this. This was really happening. And my heart was shattering. But maybe…maybe I had really just heard wrong? “We need to take a break for a while…” And there it was. The final nail in the coffin. The final blow. Eren had just destroyed everything we had worked so hard to build. He just broke my fucking heart. I broke down my walls for him, gave my heart to him, and fell in love with him for what? So he could hurt me like this?! I had lost complete control just a few days ago, a state that no one had seen me in, in YEARS. I had shown him a side of me that NO ONE had ever seen, and here he was, shoving it back at me, saying that he didn’t want any of it.

“Fuck you, Jaeger.” I grabbed my keys and my messenger bag, then slammed the door behind me as I left. I swear I heard a scream as I began to walk away, but that wasn’t my business anymore. That fucking kid wasn’t my problem. Fuck him. Fuck…

I leaned up against the wall and braced myself against it. What…what did I do? I slid down the wall and landed on the filthy fucking ground as tears stung my eyes. That fucking asshole. I love him. I haven’t even gotten the chance to tell him, because I didn’t want to hurt him, and he went and did this. I felt the tears start to run down my cheeks and I just gave up on holding them back.

“Fuck you, Eren.” I whispered to myself as I leaned against my knees. “I fucking love you, asshole.” The brick felt rough against my back, and I knew I was filthy right now, but I really didn’t care. I just needed to get away. I gave myself a few minutes to calm down, and then I picked myself up, and walked to the only familiar place I knew I could go to. The studio.

My eyes immediately fell on his cabinet. Shit. A few fresh tears rolled down my cheek as I sat down at the table with my sketchbook. I just began to draw. And draw. And draw. I drew whatever I fucking felt like. No borders. No edges. No Eren. I ended up with wings and feathers, and soft folds of fabric, and fucking tear stains all over my paper. This sucked. My phone buzzed on the table and I was scared to even look at it. The screen read:

**One new message: Jean Kirstein**

The fuck did Jean message me for. HOLY SHIT! We were supposed to work today!!! I picked up my phone and looked over the message. I expected a bitch out, but that wasn’t the type of message I got at all.

**Jean: It’s Jean. I’m with Eren. You may not believe me, but he really cares about you. He’s trying to protect you from some bullshit drama with our principle and the cops being called on you because of the age difference between you two. He’s terrified something is going to happen to you. All he has done is cry since I’ve been here. Please don’t be too hard on him, he just doesn’t know what to do. I’m not sure either, and I know he’s too hard headed to talk to you about it himself. He’ll be at my house if you need him. We’ll be leaving in 15 minutes.**

HOLY SHIT. I let a sob rip through me and I slammed my phone down on the table. No wonder he was crying like that when I left. You don’t cry like that when you break up with someone. FUCK.

**To Jean:** **FUCK. I knew something was up. Please make sure he brings his medication!**

This could definitely be fixed. I just had to use my head and think hard. All he was trying to do was protect me, like I had been doing since we met. He was trying to be strong for me, and he was breaking apart in the process. Every part of me wanted to go to him and take him into my arms, but I knew a piece of him probably needed the space as well to think things through. I turned on my phone for some music as I began to brainstorm. Piano music echoed through the studio as I looked over his picture against the sunset.

Eren, just be strong. I love you. Oh no…what if…What if he couldn’t stay strong?! What if he sunk so low that…. I tapped my pencil on the table and couldn’t stop thinking about our meetings. What would happen if Eren dropped so low he couldn’t pick himself up? What if he tried to attempt…I’d just have to trust Jean…SHIT…

I picked up my phone and text him again.

**Just wanted to send that before you left. Thank you for taking care of him. I’ll figure something out. Just keep an eye on him for me, please. Eren can get REALLY low. He’s talked about suicide a few times, so please, just be careful. Hopefully things will be back to normal soon.**

I sighed after I sent it and my background flipped back to his picture. My gorgeous Eren…The song switched on my phone and Jason Miraz’s voice resonated through the studio.

_When I look into your eyes_  
It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise  
Well, there's so much they hold

I looked over Eren’s picture and pulled up the gallery on my phone. I smiled at the pictures of us on Valentine’s Day, even though the hurt from today was still fresh. I was going to fix this. Even though it hurt like hell, we were going to win this fight. I grinned at the picture of me stealing a kiss from him in front of the sunset.

_And just like them old stars_  
I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are  
How old is your soul?

I switched back to the picture of both of us smiling and flipped to a clean page in my sketchbook. I began drawing us together, and instantly, I got a fantastic idea. What if I drew us in scout uniforms? Just like his beloved Captain.

_Well, I won't give up on us_  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up

The chorus echoed through the room and made my stomach sink. How fitting. I wasn’t going to give up on our relationship, or Eren. No fucking way in hell. I loved him too much for that. My pencil hit the paper with loose strokes, almost unlike the way I usually drew. I felt myself losing control over to the passion I felt for him. The love I felt for him.

_And when you're needing your space_

_To do some navigating_

_I'll be here patiently waiting_

_To see what you find_

“I’m not fucking losing you, brat. I refuse.” I drew our hands together and our faces inches apart from each other. We were just seconds away from kissing in the drawing. I drew our bodies and limbs to exact proportions and then I began to add clothing. I added the scout legions’ uniform. White jeans, pale undershirt, brown leather straps. I left off the rest of the gear for esthetics sake, and began working on the patches next. Blue and white wings adorned our uniforms. I sat my pencil down as I glanced at my work so far. My eyes felt tired. I blinked a couple of times and it did no good.

_'Cause even the stars they burn_

_Some even fall to the earth_

_We've got a lot to learn_

_God knows we're worth it_

_No, I won't give up_

With a sigh I got up and walked over to make a cup of coffee. Eren’s mug sat next to mine by the pot as usual, and I frowned. It wasn’t very often that I was here alone anymore, unless I had a big project due. I looked in the mirror next to the sink and saw how smeared my eyeliner was. Shit. I just went ahead and wet a paper towel and wiped it all off. No point in keeping it on, I suppose. I washed my whole face as my coffee brewed, and I felt a little better once I patted it dry. My coffee eventually finished and I took my mug over to the table and sat back down. My composition still looked good, so I pulled out my technical pens and began inking it.

I erased my pencil lines and tapped my pen nervously. This was too special to be inked completely…this needed…color. I walked over to my art cart and pulled out my colored pencil box. I carried them over to my table and started laying down layers of color and wax, slowing building it up. I matched Eren’s skin tone perfectly, and I got mine close enough at least. The sunset in the back took me quite a while to finish also, but eventually, I was quite pleased with the way it turned out.

“Well look who it is!” I dropped my red pencil and it rolled across the floor at the sound of Hanji’s voice. “Wow…what happened to you? You look like crap…”

“Rough day…” I said as I chased after it. She took a seat at the table and looked over my drawing.

“That is NOT your style, so I would assume so. What happened?” I frowned and began stuffing my pencils back inside my box.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Levi, you aren’t wearing your eyeliner in public. Something must have went down.”

“Shut up….” I put my pencils away and returned to my seat. “Fine…if you aren’t going to drop it…Eren got the shit beat out of him at school…”

“OH MY GOD THAT’S-“  


“And- I’m guessing he ended up in the principal’s office over it. I heard this from Jean, so I’m not 100% sure, but regardless, the principle warned him that if he didn’t break things off with me, he’d call the cops on me.”

“HOLY SHIT LEVI!!!!”

“Will you just let me finish?!” I scowled at her.

“Fine, fine. Sorry!”

“Well, I’m guessing it freaked him out. So he was there when I got home…He looked awful, Hanji. He was all bruised up. I just wanted to…” I sighed and looked down at my drawing. “I just wanted to tell him that everything was going to be alright, but he started talking and…And he said we needed to take a break…” Her eyes went wide.

“Oh my God…”

“Yeah…” I ran my fingers down the spine of my sketchbook. “I ugh…I was pretty upset...I stormed out of the apartment. My eyeliner ran because I was crying…”

“Oh Levi…” I frowned as I looked at us standing together in the sunset. If only there really were wings of freedom. If only we could really escape these walls and run away…

“Yeah…I…I love him Hanji…So much it hurts. I want to be able to tell him one day. Things are going to be alright. Jean told me everything, so I know I can fix it, It’s just going about it the right way. So I drew this. I just don’t know how to give it to him…”

“Why don’t you take a picture and text it to him?” I nodded and went along with her plan. That seemed like a good enough idea to me. Hopefully he’d respond.

 

Later that night

Eren’s POV

_“Fuck You, Jaeger. I don’t want you. I did just pity you after all. I’m glad we are through. You are a piece of worthless shit, just like your dad said.” Levi slammed the door and he was gone. Gone forever. Leaving me in the dark alone._

_My dad popped into view, hovering over me. “See, you worthless trash. He did pity you. You don’t deserve friends. You don’t deserve love. You just fuck it up!” His fist collided with my face and I screamed._

Jean’s POV

I was woken up by the sound of whimpering. I had fallen asleep to it as well, so I figured Eren was crying again. I felt bad for him, sure, but he really needed to sleep. It was morning already for God’s sake. I heard a scream next and I shot up. Holy shit. I had been sleeping on the floor, and was nice enough to let Eren take my bed. He was setting up, as the morning rays of light fled into the room, clutching at his chest and panting.

“Eren! What the fuck?! Are you okay?!” I sat down beside of him as he clawed at his shirt. He was trying to gasp for air, but nothing would come. “Shit…come on Eren. Breathe!”

“Wor-“

“Wor?” I was panicking as well to be honest. I just wanted him to take a breath and I was seconds away from calling Levi. Tears were running down his face.

“Calm down, Eren. Please, try to breathe!” He sucked in a little breath a tried to repeat himself.

“Worth-Worthless.” I frowned as I watched him grip onto his bandaged arm. Was he purposefully opening the wound back up?

“EREN. STOP!” I grabbed his hand and pulled it back, but it was too late, the blood was already soaking through. “Shit.” His phone began going off and I hopped over him to look at it. “It’s your alarm clock. 9AM?” he gave me a terrified look and dropped his head.

“Lee-Levi. Will be here. 10.” He tried to take in a slow breath and succeeded in a small one. I threw the covers off of him and pulled him up.

“Well come on then. Get up. Go take a shower. Don’t get that fucking arm wet. I’ll fix it when you are out.” He was trembling against me and I pushed him forward. “You are going. I’m not taking any excuses. If I have to wash you MYSELF, I will.” He turned red and slung his bag over his shoulder with shaky hands.

I waited just outside the door for him to finish, and after he did, I re-bandaged his arm up.

“Now, stop that shit with opening it back up, Eren.” He nodded and sat down on the edge of my bed. “Levi should be here soon.” He swallowed hard and thumbed through his phone. We heard a car honk and peaked out of my bedroom window to see a black car waiting out front. “That him?”

“If it’s a rental, then it should be.” We walked downstairs, and I walked him outside to the doorstep. Levi waited in the vehicle, and we could see his dark hair through the window. He gave Eren a soft smile as he stepped out.

“It’ll be fine. Like I said before. Just go with your heart.”

“Thanks, Jean. You’ve been really good.” Eren gave me a half-smile and went to join Levi in the car. I waved them both off and hoped for the best. That’s all I could really do at this point.

 

Eren’s POV

“Hey…”

“Hey.” Levi didn’t look that great. The circles under his eyes were pretty dark.

“Sleep alright?” I looked out the window as we drove out of the city and sighed.

“Not really. I had a pretty bad nightmare…” I heard him sigh as well and we drove on.

“Shit. I’m sorry…” The conversation faded off, so Levi plugged in his phone and switched on some music. I’d never heard this band before. It was a little heavier than what he usually listened to, but I liked it anyways.

_Let the ocean take me..._

_You've gotta know kid that it ain't easy._

_To take on all of your grieving, yeah you gotta believe me._

I looked out of the window as we drove and watched the city disappear. It was somewhat comfortable, the silence with Levi, but I still felt guilty. Guilty for everything. The lyrics were echoing through the car and through my mind. I just wanted to be with Levi, and life was just making it too damn hard. Why was it so hard to be happy?

_Well don't lean on me 'cause I am falling, please don't fall with me._

_I really need you here, yeah I need you so don't leave._

_And don't count on me 'cause I am drowning, please don't drown with me._

_Just hold me in your heart, let the ocean take me._

I wonder if he picked this song for a reason… It sort of did lift me up from the low I was feeling. It gave me hope. I chanced a glance at him, and he offered me a half-smile, but he stayed pretty focused on the road.

“Do you like this band?” I nodded and turned towards him. I wanted to take his hand in mine as he drove, but it was off limits. Levi wasn’t mine right now, and it completely shattered my heart. It was 100% my fault, but I had to keep reminding myself that it was to protect him. Hopefully after an explanation, maybe he wouldn’t hate me…just maybe he would hang on long enough to wait for me until my birthday. “They are called The Amity Affliction. Erwin told me about them last year.” Last year? Why had he never played their songs for me? He frowned as the lyrics echoed through the car.

_And you think I don't read every message that you send?_

_You think I turn a blind eye, you think I'm just like them?_

_It breaks my heart, all these stories, brings me to tears all this grief;_

_And I feel so fucking helpless when I can't be your relief._

“I wasn’t sure whether to let you listen to them or not. I didn’t know if the songs would bother you…But I guess you pretty much are dealing with the same shit as me, so…” he trailed off and tapped on the steering wheel.

_There is hope in my eyes, there is hope in these words._

_And there are far too many reasons for you to stay here on this earth. Stay with me._

 

Eventually we made it to Shinganshina and Levi pulled over into a local park and parked the car. “So are we just not going to talk about it?” My hands went up into my hair and I felt tears starting to prick at my eyes.

“About what? About how I was a fucking asshole to you? About…”

“WOAH! Calm down!” His hand flew out and grabbed one of my own. The one that was about to press into the cut on my arm. “Eren…Let’s just talk. Please.” He was always so fucking calm. Always.

“So Jean texted you then?” I sighed as my hand shook in his.

“Yeah, he did.”

“W-What did he tell you?” Tears were rolling down my cheeks, and Levi’s fingers were wiping them away.

“That you were with him. That…your principle threatened to call the cops on us.” I whimpered and rubbed my palms into my eyes. I nodded and he sighed and tried to stretch over the center console towards me. “Eren, why didn’t you tell me…” I put my hand up between us and pushed him away. We were in Shinganshina, but there was still a possibility. Someone could still see. What if?

“P-Please. D-Don’t.” He frowned as he looked at me.

“Eren… “ I heard the sorrow deep in his voice. “I just want to hold you. I want to comfort you, and make it better, and it just hurts that I can’t.” I cried out again and wiped my eyes on my sleeve.

 

Levi’s POV

“S-Sorry. I don’t want to…don’t want…” I shook my head and clicked the car into drive.

“Keep talking. Don’t want what?” I drove through the nearly abandoned park. No one came to parks in the middle of February, and I was hoping the outer parking lots would be abandoned. The ones the hikers used in the summer. We got lucky! I pulled into a spot, underneath a tree, and I jumped out. I walked over to his side and pulled him out. “Come on, the back is tinted so you can’t see in.” his eyes got wide, but he followed me into the back seat. I left the car running as we sat together in the back seat, fiddling with hoodie strings and fringe on our pants awkwardly.

“I don’t want to lose you, Levi. You…you mean so much to me. I don’t want anything like that to happen to you, especially because of me.” I continued to wipe his tears away and turned his face towards mine.

“But we can’t just self-destruct because we are scared either, Eren. We’ll just have to be careful. I’m more than willing if you are.”

“I’m so scared!” He yelled it and shoved his face into my chest. “I don’t want to lose you, Levi. I…I…” He was sobbing against me and I just ran my fingers through his hair.

“I know. I know you are scared, but I promise it’ll be okay. Things will work out.”

“Levi…God…I’m so sorry…I just didn’t know how to handle it.” He looked up at me with those turquoise eyes. Those eyes that set me on fire.

“It’s alright. We all make mistakes, just talk to me next time. I don’t want this relationship to fall apart.” I leaned forward and captured his lips that were mere inches from mine and I swear, I don’t know if it was from where I hadn’t been able to kiss him for a while or what, but this kiss tasted amazing. So sweet and perfect, even if there was just a hint of salt. It was so gentle, yet filled with so much passion, and it made my heart soar. I loved him with every fiber of my soul and I wanted to shout it, but I was so scared. So terrified. We pulled apart, and those sparkling turquoise eyes were staring right into mine, right into my soul. I wonder if he could see that I loved him?

I smiled as I looked at him and pressed a kiss beside his eye.

“I love your eyes. You know that right?” He blushed and smiled at me. “And, your lips of course.” I leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips. Just a short one this time. “Hell, your personality too. I love everything about you Eren…” I ran my fingers through his hair, and all the way down to his jaw. “I missed you yesterday and having the bed empty last night was just torture…so…so I…Eren…I…” He was staring at me with those wide blue-green eyes still and I just swallowed hard and smiled. “I love you, Eren.” He blinked a couple of times as the shock swept over him, and then suddenly, tears began to pour. SHIT. I knew I would mess this up!

“L-Levi?! Y-You. You love me?!” My face was going red. Fuck. I had fucked it up, right after we’d made up.

“Y-yeah…” I felt him crash into me and his arms were around my neck, pulling me against him. Our lips moved against each other’s and I whimpered as I felt his arms tug me closer to him. Tongues danced and battled for dominance, but eventually, I won. My heart was racing along with my confession, and I just hope that maybe somehow, he felt the same way. I loved Eren, with everything I had to give. I would protect him and nourish this relationship. I would give him everything I could offer. We pulled apart and we were breathing heavy. I felt his tears on my cheeks, and he was smiling.

“I love you, too Levi.” He said with a smile. “I really, really love you.” His hands stayed wrapped around my neck as he stared into my eyes and I felt a few tears begin to roll down my own cheek. I was so fucking happy. Warm fingertips rubbed at my undercut and I smiled as I reach up a shaky hand to wipe away our tears.

“Fuck…I can’t believe it…” I pressed a kiss to his lips and he smiled as I pulled back.

“I was too scared to say it first…I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize, Eren.” I stroked his cheek gently, avoiding the bruises from yesterday. The bruises that made my stomach churn. The bruises that started all of this. I wasn’t about to ruin this moment though. That was a conversation for later. “All that matters if that we know now. We know what we mean to each other. No one can take that away from us…right?” He smiled and nodded and a few fresh tears began to run down over my fingers.

“God…Levi…I was so stupid…” I pulled him closer and he just slumped against my chest. “I can’t make it without you…I’m miserable without you…forgive me?”

“Of course I do, or I wouldn’t be here.” I buried my face in his hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “The only one that has a place in my heart is you.” He nodded against me and sighed.

“What are we going to do, Levi? I don’t want to be without you until my birthday.” I chuckled softly and nuzzled his head.

“Eren, how many fucking times do I have to say it? When it comes to something I want-“

“You’ll do whatever it takes to get your way.” Eren finished my sentence with a snicker.

“Yes, brat. And that fact doubles when it comes to you. We’ll just have to plan shit out. We’ll have to walk alone…well, scratch that. We’ll have to walk without each other. No public affection at work, obviously. Not like we do that anyways. We’ll have to be careful at the studio. Things will work out.” He frowned and turned his face up towards mine.

“So this is our last date before lock down?”

“Pretty much. And I really wouldn’t worry about it too much. I mean we are in a different city, but that’s your call.” He shrunk back against me.

“I’m worried…” I ruffled his hair.

“I have an idea. Don’t worry.” I said with a smile. “But that involves getting out of the car and moving back up front.”

“Don’t wanna get out of your arms.” I smiled and leaned down to kiss him. It did feel heartwarming to have him back.

“Come on, brat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also sorry for the flipped around jumbled POV's. That's the way my brain decided to write but YAAAAAAAY  
> They said I LOVE YOU <33333   
> SQUEEEEEE  
> MY BABIES  
> T.T *sob sob sob*


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren finish up their day in Shinganshina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I upset everyone with those last few chapters ^.^'''' But thanks for hanging on!! <33
> 
> Here's a Valentine's update for everyone. Ha <3 And a nice little reward for you. Ha ;) 
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Also here's my tumblr again for anyone who'd like to add me ;) or chat or what not. Ha.
> 
> xxdeja-uchihaxx

Levi’s POV

“Do you think it looks weird?” Eren looked at his hat in the passenger’s mirror. I was going to add glasses to his outfit, but they would have hurt his eyes, and I didn’t want to do that.

“I think it looks pretty hot.” The beanie sat back on his head, but disguised most of his hair. I tucked one last strand of chocolate hair underneath the hat with a grin. “You’ll have to put this back on once this is all over with and let your hair hang out.” I said with a wink.

“I may have to.” He said with a half-smile. He fastened the black scarf around his neck and pulled my hoodie up close around him. We had switched hoodies so it’d be harder for someone to notice him in the Trost hoodie. His black hoodie with the corseted sides pretty much swallowed me up, but it was warm and it smelled like him, so I didn’t complain. We went into a small café together and ordered two coffees and two pastries for lunch and sat at the table in the far back corner.

I reach my hand across the table to hold his as we sipped our coffee.

“It’s going to be hard after today, huh?” He asked before he took a sip.

“We already got through the rough part, if you ask me. Being without you for longer than a few hours was enough to make me go crazy. As long as I’m a part of your life, I can handle keeping my hands off of you until we get home for the day.” Eren blushed and I rubbed my thumb over his fingers and smiled.

“And stop giving me that look, brat. You’ve already apologized. Like a million times.”

“I’m sorry. I just feel guilty…” I gave him a knowing smile and squeezed his hand.

“Well I’m going to go ahead and apologize in advance then.” Eren gave me a strange look as he sat his mug down and began nibbling on his pastry.

“For what?”

“I won’t be able to keep my hands off of you at home…I can already tell you that. So just be prepared to have one clingy boyfriend for the next month and a half.” He just smiled at me and washed his pastry down with more coffee.

“We’ve got to make up for lost time somehow, right?”

“Exactly.” I winked at him and gave his hand another squeeze. “I’m really glad everything worked out, Eren…I just can’t imagine not having you in my life.” I brought my own mug up to my lips and took a sip. I saw tears well up in his eyes, but he pushed them back. The bruise on his cheek kept drawing my eyes in, and it was really bothering me. “For any reason…” He looked down at the table and ran his hand over the bandaged arm gently.

“Eren…all I need are names…”

“I don’t want that, Levi…”

“We can report it. You didn’t deserve that. It’s bullshit. It’s a fucking hate crime.” He was staring at his arm sadly now. “I mean you never got the chance to tell me exactly what went down, but I’m pretty sure I understand…”

“They…We had intramurals in health class…we don’t usually do that. So we had to change. They heard the rumors already, and when they saw the marks they just…got violent…” I reach across the table and put my hand back on top of his to show him my support. “It’s just not fair, Levi. If I was anyone else…If I was normal…”

“Don’t say shit like that. It shouldn’t matter. Love is love, Eren. We can’t help who we fall for.” He nodded and looked up at me with a half-smile. He looked heartbroken.

“I just wish they understood that. I just want everyone to understand that…that my love for you is the same as…no it’s stronger than…” he gripped my hand tight as he stared into my eyes. “You just mean so much to me, Levi.” I smiled at him and nodded.

“And you mean the world to me. You just have to make it a little while longer, then you’ll be out of that fucking piece of shit high school. We can go wherever you want afterwards.”

“Really?! But what about-“

“Anywhere. I can transfer. Just be thinking about college. You are good enough to get scholarships, so it’s not an issue. And financial aid will pay for most of it.” He was beaming, but his smile faded after a few seconds.

“B-but what about everyone else?” I leaned across the table and pushed a few loose strands of hair back into his hat.

“They’ll understand. If they are truly our friends, they will be supportive, Eren.” He nodded and leaned into my touch.

“Alright. I’ll think about a few places, then.” We finished off our coffee and food and we headed out to hobby lobby.

 

Eren’s eyes lit up as we walked inside and I dropped my messenger bag inside the cart and rolled up beside him.

“Alright, go to town.”

“What should I get?”

“Whatever you want. If you go over the $500, I don’t really care. I have my parent’s credit card. I was planning on stocking up for school as well, so anything.” His eyes went wide and we started walking around the store, filling up the cart. We stopped in the furniture aisle as Eren paused at the drafting tables for a moment, then kept going.

“Woah, Woah. Do you want one?”

“No. They are too expensive.”

“That wasn’t my question.”

“We don’t have room.”

“There’s plenty of room beside of mine in the living room. Do you want one?” He frowned as he looked over the different ones.

“Well…maybe later on. I’ve really been drawing on the couch a lot under the blankets. If they made one that was heated.” He said with a grin. I just shrugged and we moved on. Wait…a heated table…like a kotatsu? I smiled to myself. Well now I had a birthday idea for Eren. It’d definitely have to be a birthday present though, because they were fucking expensive.

We filled the cart up with drawing supplies, painting supplies, canvas, pretty much everything you could possibly imagine. We finally reach the checkout after spending 3 hours in the store. I got my total and I was pretty sure I was going to have to scrape Eren up off of the floor.

“It’s alright, brat. You have the gift card, right?” He handed it to me, and I looked at the remaining balance of a few hundred dollars. I slid my dad’s debit card and the receipt spit out. “Let’s go.” We loaded up the rental, and slid into the vehicle.

“That was fun!” Eren said with a grin.

“Yeah, it was. We’ll have to do it again. So where to next?” before he could open his mouth my phone began to ring. Isabel’s picture was flashing. SHIT.

 

“Hello?”

“LEVI!!!! YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I’VE BEEN?!?!?!”

“I’m sorry, we’ve had some things come up-“

“Don’t give me that shit!” I heard Farlan scolding her for cursing in front of the customers in the background. “I WANT THE TRUTH! JEAN DIDN’T TELL ME SHIT!” I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose.

“Eren and I had some problems the last couple of days, okay? I’m really sorry we didn’t show up yesterday, and I’m sorry I didn’t call. I was upset. Everything is fine now.”

“So you guys are back together, then?” She said with a relieved sigh.

“Yes. Like I said. We are fine. Well…” I glanced over at the bruise on Eren’s cheek and sighed. “Mostly.”

“MOSTLY?”

“Stop freaking out! Just…could we have another day off if possible? I know it’s probably a pain in the ass for you, but…Eren got in a fight and he’s still looking kind of rough, so…”

“Oh…yeah that’s fine. We can handle it here. Take care of him Levi! If you guys need anything, give me a ring, okay? Call next time, dodo bird!”

“Thanks a lot, yeah I will. I promise. Bye.”

 

“That was Isabel?” Eren asked with a frown as he drew my hoodie up close around him.

“Yeah, she was concerned. Everything is fine though. She gave us another day off, since you look pretty bad still.” Eren nodded and looked over at me.

“Is the bruise that bad?” I gently ran my fingers over it and shook my head.

“I’ve seen a lot worse on you. It should fade pretty quickly. I understand if you don’t want to go to school tomorrow though.” I said with a frown.

“It’s not like I’m allowed in the building anyway. I’m suspended. I didn’t tell you that?” Eren said with a frown.

“WHAT?! What they fuck?! What for?”

“For fighting apparently…even though I didn’t fight back.” Eren frowned and I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips to comfort him.

“That’s bullshit. I’m going to get back at that principle one day.” I said as I clicked the car into drive. “Are you hungry?”

“A little…but I’m pretty tired.” He did look worn out, and to be honest, so was I. We had both been through the ringer the last couple of days. I ruffled his hair and put the car into drive and pulled off.

“Alright, we’ll go through a drive through and grab something then. I’m tired also.” I heard a gasp and I felt his eyes on me.

“A-A drive through?!”

“Yeah. You know fast food? Have you never eaten it?”

“I didn’t think you ate at fast food restaurants because they weren’t clean?”

“I try not to, but I just want to get home. How about Taco Bell?” Eren yawned and nodded as he leaned up against the window.

“That’s fine. Anything is fine.” I patted his hand and smiled gently at him. He really was exhausted and he was cradling his arm against him.

“Alright. It’ll just be a few more minutes.” He almost dozed off as we drove to the restaurant, and we ate quickly on the way back home. We pretty much demolished our food within the first five minutes of having it. Eren sat the bag of wrappers at trash down by his feet and leaned towards me.

“Don’t you have to drop the car off?” He asked with a yawn as he looked over at me with sleepy eyes. I reach over and ruffled his hair and he shut his eyes.

“Nope, I got it for two days actually. I didn’t want to worry about it tonight.” He just nodded and leaned into my touch. Damn, if only this kid knew how much I really loved him.

“Eren…”

The only reply I got back were soft snores. He was out. I drove back the rest of the way with only soft music accompanying me.

We finally arrived home after dark, and I got out of the car and walked over to his side of the car and opened the door. I really didn’t want to wake him. He’d been through so much the last few days, and by the look of his face earlier, he had barely gotten any sleep the night before. What sleep he did get was probably plagued by nightmares.

I unbuckled his seatbelt and scooped him up into my arms. I felt him sigh against me. I know he’d probably be pissed that I was doing this at home out in the open, but he still had his hat on and it was dark. I just shrugged off any second thoughts and shut the car door. Luckily the bags were concealed in the trunk, so all I needed to do was carry him inside. I fumbled with the lock for a minute and he groaned against my shoulder.

“Shhh.”

“Ngmm.” What kind of noise was that? He snuggled closer to me and I smiled as I finally got the lock undone. Hmm…stairs would be tricky, but not impossible. I cringed knowing I had my shoes on still, but I shut and locked the door behind me before walking up the steps to our room. The house was once again immaculate, and to be honest, I really couldn’t sleep that well without Eren here last night so I went on a cleaning binge. Mrs. Jaeger was smiling happily, waving at us as we entered the bedroom and I smiled as I laid her son down on the bed gently after I turned the covers down awkwardly.

“I’m trying my best to take care of him for you….” I whispered. “I may not be perfect, but I love him…that’s as much as I can give.” I slipped off his shoes and sat them by the bed.

“Love. Love. Vi. You.” Eren muttered it in his sleep and turned over before I could take his jeans off. Shit. Well, I guess he’d just have to sleep in his clothes. I just shrugged and pulled the covers up over him.

“Love you too, brat. I’ll be back.” I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek before I turned the light off, leaving just the blue glow. I went about my nightly routine, and mentally cursed myself for not waking him up to take his medicine. Hopefully one night wouldn’t make that much of a difference.

I changed into my pajamas and took my own meds before climbing into bed with him. He groaned again and whimpered.

“Eren?” He gripped the sheets tight. Shit. Was he having a nightmare? I wrapped my arms around him and he leaned back against me and relaxed. “It’s okay. I’m here. Don’t be afraid, alright? I’m going to protect you, babe. Everything is going to be alright.” I whispered calming affirmations into his ear until I was sure his nightmare had passed and I myself drifted off to a deep sleep, with Eren in my arms. Finally, I got a fulfilling sleep, after a night of hell.

 

The next day

Eren’s POV

_Spinning. Everything was spinning. I was lifted and carried, and spinning. Carried away. It was dark, but I was warm at least, and this dark wasn’t the suffocating pitch black that I was used to. But I was still on edge. There was a hint of blue._ _I felt lost, so I held onto myself. I held onto my own arm that was in front of me. Warm arms were there, and I knew in my heart that they were Levi’s. There were soft murmurs, whispers, and consolations. I couldn’t make them out, but I knew. Everything was going to be alright. I panicked for a minute as the warmth moved away and left me alone, but just as soon as they had moved away and left me cold, they returned and wrapped back around me. I was safe. Although this place felt empty, I was warm. I was safe and warm._

“Eren? Eren, you okay?” I cracked my eyes open to see Levi staring at me strangely. He was holding my hand tightly and rubbing my face, but he was still pressed up against me. I could feel his heart pounding against me.

“Huh? Oh…yeah.” When did I get in bed? I went to rub my eyes and stopped suddenly. My hands were wet? Had I been crying? No…my face wasn’t wet. Then why…OH MY GOD. I felt the air leave my lungs almost instantly, but Levi had his hand in my hair and the other on my wrist still.

“Eren. Calm down. Just breathe. It’s okay. Everything will be okay. You did it in your sleep.” I tried to take a breath at first and failed. The blood was making my head spin. Even Levi’s hand was covered. What had I done? The sheets around me were stained. Luckily, Levi’s hoodie hadn’t suffered too much damage. I’m sure he could get the blood out. I was trembling now as Levi ran his fingers through my hair, and somehow I managed a shaky breath. “That’s it. One more. In. Out. Breathe.” The early morning sun was casting it’s light over us, illuminating the massacre that I’d left over the blankets. “You’re alright, babe.” I took another breath and Levi gently rolled the covers off of us and pulled me out of the bed with him and led me to the bathroom.

“S-Sorry. So sorry.”

“Shhh…. It’s all right.” Evidentially I’d pulled up the sleeve of the hoodie in the middle of the night and ripped the bandage off. It was just hanging on with a little bit of tape. He pulled the hoodie and my shirt off and went to work. Levi washed his hands and pulled the bandage the rest of the way off. His eyes got wide as he looked over the wound. It was pretty deep, and I wasn’t quite sure why the nurse didn’t send me off for stitches in the first place, but I figured she knew what she was doing. “Fuck…Eren…” Levi grimaced as he took the first aid kit out from underneath the sink and pulled out the wound spray. I frowned as he held my arm over the sink and pulled me closer. I buried my head down into his chest as he sprayed it and whimpered. Mom always told me that the burning meant the infection was being killed. I hope that was true.

“I’m gonna wipe it. Unless you want to?” I shook my head and clung to him. No way could I do it myself. I was a baby when it came to stuff like that. My face was still buried against him as I heard him shuffling packages and opening things. He began wiping over my cut and I sunk against him and whimpered again as he cleaned it. He sprayed it once more and I was squirming now. “Almost done. Just let it dry.” I felt him fanning it, so the spray would dry quicker, and eventually the burning eased. He was opening more packages now and rubbing a thick cream onto the cut. I winced as he did, but the cream also helped to soothe it. I felt a thick bandage wrap around it, and some extra tape secure it into place. We both went about our morning routines while we were in the bathroom, and he even helped me shower without getting my bandage wet. After drying off, he grabbed an outfit for himself as well as lounge pants for me and some underwear.

“Alright, let’s get you a loose shirt.” I nodded and followed him into the bedroom. We sorted through my dresser and pulled out one of my larger t-shirts and he gently slipped it over my head, carefully avoiding the bandage. I sighed as I stared at the mess on the bed. “Don’t worry about it. Seriously. Can you make it downstairs okay?” I nodded and watched as Levi walked towards the bed and after pulling out his bandana from the drawer and tying it around his hair, he began stripping the bed and throwing the sheets in a pile with my ruined clothes. I felt so fucking guilty. I just stood there and watched as I cradled my arm close to me. Levi paused as he was pulling off a pillow case to look at me. “Eren?”

I looked down at the floor and stayed silent. Even apologies couldn’t sneak past my lips. I had done so much to hurt Levi these last couple of days, and yet here he was, cleaning up a mess I’d made because I was a broken piece of garbage. He dropped the pillow and stepped over the blankets to make his way towards me. “Hey. What’s wrong? I told you it’s nothing to worry over.” I felt his gentle arms wrap around my waist and pull me against him. I just wanted to shrink away into a hole.

“I don’t deserve you…” I whispered.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Eren.” He rubbed my lower back and I let out a sigh. “We already decided that we are perfect for each other, right? So that means that we BOTH deserve each other. No matter what kind of shitty low we get in.” He raised up a bit to kiss my forehead and I nodded. “When I said I’d take care of you, I meant it.” I leaned my head down into his neck and nodded. “And when I said I love you, I meant that also.” My heart flipped and I reach out for him to keep myself steady. Every day was a surprise with Levi. I felt heat rising in my cheeks and that sinking feeling in my stomach was slowly going away.

“I-I love you too…” I felt him press a kiss into the side of my neck and hug me.

“Everything will be okay. You just have to believe me. One day at a time, right?” I nodded against him, and reluctantly let go and backed up a little.

“I believe you, it’s just so hard…” He brushed his hand over my cheek gently and smiled.

“But it’s a little easier with one another’s support.” I nodded and he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my lips. “I’ll be down in just a bit, okay? I’m going to clean this up.”

“Okay.” I walked downstairs and left him to clean up the bloodstained bed as I grabbed our blankets out of the closet. I curled up in my own and just sat in front of the blank TV, just thinking about everything that had gone on the last couple of days. It was enough to make my head spin. I hated this couch. Just for the simple fact that this is where I had…where…I felt tears stinging at my eyes and I pushed them back. I heard heavy footsteps behind me as Levi was carrying the hamper behind me. I shook off the feeling and stood up. Screw this. I just couldn’t sit around. I snaked my arms (gently as to not re-open my wound) around his waist from behind as he turned on the washing machine and pressed myself up against him.

“When I said I’d be down in a bit, I meant-“

“Can I just help out a little?” My hands moved to rest on his hips and my chin was on his shoulder. He grinned and reach up to ruffle my hair.

“If you insist, brat. Just be easy. Don’t hurt yourself. I don’t want you losing any more blood.” I pressed a kiss right into the crook of his neck and felt him shiver. “Watch it, Jaeger. If you keep teasing me while I’m cleaning, bad things will happen.” He said as he began adding the laundry to the machine.

“Like what?” He was moving around quite a bit, but I still had my hands planted on his hips. His was doing a great job of taking my mind off of anything negative. He threw the Trost hoodie on top of the load and sprayed it with some kind of a solution, before pouring the regular detergent in and shutting the lid.

“What do you mean, like what?” I turned him around and pushed him up against the machine with a grin. He smiled at me and pulled me closer as the machine began filling up. He captured my lips, and licked over the bottom one for entrance, which I immediately granted. The kiss deepened, and Levi tangled his fingers in my hair. I smirked into the kiss and picked him up with ease and sat him on top on the washer. “E-Eren what-MMPH-“Our lips were together again in a matter of seconds and his arms were around my neck, fingers tangling in my hair. A number of things were running through my head, and a considerable amount of them included what exactly I could do to him on top of this washer.

My hands were at the hem of his shirt now, and he shot me a look as he pulled away suddenly, his cheeks a rosy pink.

“Eren, what are you-“ I stole his words away as I took dominance over the kiss and my hand flew up into that coarse undercut that I cherished. Strands of loose hair fell out from underneath his bandana, and I played with perfectly tied knot in the back. Our mouths moved together in a sensual kiss and I pressed right up against the edge of the washer as he scooted closer to me. His knees were right at my hips and it made me blush, but I carried on and began to pull his shirt up. I broke away for a moment so I could pull it over his head.

“H-Here?!”

“Why not?” I asked with a grin, before my lips connected with his neck gently. I had to remember to not get carried away. Gentle kisses only. He shivered under my touches and kisses and reach up to comb his fingers through my hair. He let out a soft sigh as he relaxed into my touch and I smiled against the warm skin under my lips. All mine. Levi was completely truly mine. And I’d told him I’d loved him as well. The world hadn’t crashed around me or caved in, in fact his feelings were mutual. I couldn’t help but pull him closer for a moment as I realized exactly what that meant.

My thoughts were broken by him pawing at the hem of my own shirt, and I broke my lips away from his neck to let him carefully pull my own shirt up over my head. The washing machine felt cold against my bare stomach, but his legs felt so warm wrapped around me. I pressed gentle kisses all the way down his chest, and even swirled my tongue around his nipple a couple of times when I reach it. He arched against me and let ouch a cracked moan. His head was leaned back so far that it was nearly touching the wall.

A few more kisses and I’d worked my way down to his pants. I swallowed and looked up at him. My face was definitely red now, and I could feel my nerves rushing all at once. I could do this! I just had to concentrate and remember exactly what he did to me. I unzipped his jeans with shaky hands and felt his own hand rest on top of mine. Pink cheeks and hazy sliver eyes looked down at me.

“Eren, we can stop if you are feeling uncomfortable. Seriously.” I just shook my head and leaned forward to give him a brief kiss. I wanted this just as much. I wanted to please Levi. I loved him, and it was time that I showed it. I was tired of letting my fucking nerves get in the way. I smiled up at him and he smiled back and leaned back up on his elbows as I pulled off his pants and underwear and added them to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. “COLD!” He arched up off of the machine as I tossed his pants aside and nearly shoved his cock in my face.

“WOAH!!!” DEFFINATELY wasn’t ready for it THAT fast! I grabbed my shirt from the floor and let him lay on it so he wasn’t touching cold metal. My face was bright red now, and I was terrified. I took Levi’s hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. I gave him a timid half-smile, before I lowered my face over his lap.

Holy shit…he seemed a lot bigger like this. Maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me? I took the head into my mouth and licked at it. Precum had already collected at the tip, and I can’t say that I was exactly ready for the new flavor. It was almost salty, but it didn’t stop me from trying my best at copying Levi. I sucked on the head and I drew out sounds from him that I never dreamt I’d hear.

“GOD! EREN!” I heard him bang on the washer as he adjusted a bit and I attempted to take him a bit further in. I tried bobbing my head up and down, just like he’d done, but managed to get choked somehow. I pulled back and caught my breath as Levi stroked my hair.

I was terrified that I had fucked it all up, but I looked up to see he was still looking at me with those same lust filled eyes. Those same eyes that shimmered with silver, when they craved my touch.

“No rush, babe.” He murmured as he stroked my hair. “You don’t even have to do that. But it does feel amazing.” He said with a sated smile. I nodded and gave myself a few more seconds to catch my breath. I stroked his cock with my hand as I waited and his eyes kept fluttering open and closed.

I swallowed hard again and took him back into my mouth, and slowly this time, I went lower. He groaned and grasped at whatever was around him, to hold onto as I went as low as I could. I vaguely remembered him letting me hold onto his hair, but the thought of that just freaked me out. I’m sure he’d understand if…But what if that was something you were supposed to do?! I shook off the thought and began slowly bobbing my head up and down, making Levi mewl.

“E-Eren! FUCK!” He was clawing at the edge of the washing machine, and I finally grabbed his hand with my own and let him lace his fingers together with mine. This was definitely something that took practice, because I knew I wasn’t able to do it fast without feeling sick, so I just went for slow and as deep as I could go, which seemed to have him moaning just enough.

“EREN! SHIT! I’M-I’m getting close. FUCK!” He squeezed my hand and I felt his thighs tense up underneath me. I panicked for a second. OH SHIT. Where does he what to come?! I just kept sucking and touching, leading him right to the edge.

“FUCK! Eren!” I felt him get slightly harder in my mouth for a moment and I tasted just a little more of the salty flavor, but suddenly Levi arched and yanked back, pulling himself free and wrapping his hand around himself to finish himself off. His cheeks were red now and he was moaning like crazy, but the sight unfolding in front of me was enough to practically make me come without even touching myself. Did he not want to come in my mouth? I felt my own hard on, pressing right into the edge of the washer, and Levi leaned down and unzipped my pants right there and made me drop them.

He still had the hazy look in his eyes, and he was still on top of the washer. I felt his hand wrap around me, and I cried out.

“So fucking hard, Eren.” He whispered as he wrapped his legs around me and pulled me right up against him. We were both a mess anyways, so it really didn’t matter. I could feel my cheeks burning and I dropped my face down into the crook of his shoulder as he touched me.

“Fuck! Levi…So good.” He chuckled as he worked me with his hand and trailed light kisses down my neck.

“You like that, huh?” Fuck. Hearing him talk like that just. UGH. Just hearing his voice in general while he did that was enough to put me on the edge.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Well obviously, if it makes you stutter, brat.” He teased as he gave me a hard squeeze. I moaned and pushed up into his hand. He took a minute to rub over my balls lightly before returning his attention back to my aching cock. “Fuck, Eren. I love it you know. It’s like a work of art.” I felt my face heat up and I whimpered against his neck. “The sculpture students would go crazy if you’d model for them, but bad news for them…” He gave me a hard yank and I shivered. “You’re all mine, Jaeger.”

“C-Close.” He smirked and worked me a little faster. I felt the tightness building. I even felt it coiling all the way through the muscles in my abs this time. “FUCK, LEVI.” I was right on the edge and his hand paused. He thumbed at the head for a minute, but he didn’t move his head. I was stuck in limbo, right on the edge. I could feel my orgasm about to slam into me, and my head my spinning. “L-Leevi. Please.” I begged and he kissed my neck one before dragging his hand down once. SHIT. It only took me one step closer. “FUCK! LEVI!!” One more chuckle and he started pumping me again, making it crash into me at full force. It had built up so much that tears nearly sprung from my eyes when it hit. I saw white as I cried out and released into his hand. My lungs were heaving as I leaned against him and the washer for support. Fuck.

“That. Was. Fuck.” He chuckled and kissed the top on my head.

“Fucking amazing.” He finished. I looked up at him and he grinned down at me. “I had to torture you a little for getting my washer dirty, Eren.” He said with a wink. “And, now we have more laundry for later.”

“I don’t mind cleaning up the mess.” I said as I leaned against his chest. He snickered and kissed my cheek.

“Very funny brat, now help me down!”


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Difficulties in keeping apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Itsuka no Tegami - Lisa (From Sword Art Online)
> 
> Song translation :3
> 
> I like the song that is playing here  
> Sense this beam of light  
> Even if you can’t touch or see it  
> It will always be by your side  
> In the distant future  
> When I open up this letter  
> Even if I laugh because it feels too awkward  
> I wish the dream I have now will have grown much bigger  
> And it will be blooming
> 
> And because I feel like I’ve been surviving on combos lately :3
> 
> Meh, I feel like this is a link/filler chapter but hopefully you enjoy it! :3 Some nice fluff in there at least :D  
> Comments as always cuties <333 Heh.

The next day

Eren’s POV

We spent the rest of the day cleaning up and snuggling on the couch watching anime. We caught up on Shingeki no Kyojin, and the last episode left us on the edge of our seats. The female titan was chasing after the group, and they were headed straight for the giant forest. We’d have to wait until next week for the new episode.

Today, however, was NOT as good as yesterday. Today was very shitty. I had gone to school as usual, and Levi had gone to his classes. We had promised to meet up at work later on, but even then, we wouldn’t be able to touch each other. I sighed as I walked to Anteiku with Jean.

“At least things are okay now with you two!” he said with a smile.

“Yeah, it just sucks that we have to do this for a month and a half.”

“You don’t enjoy my company?!” I frowned at him as we walked and looked forward.

“Of course I do, it’s just hard not being able to touch Levi at all. After we are so used to being able to…”

“I gotcha. Well, it’s for the best, Eren. Everything will be fine after you turn 18. Then no one can bother you two about it anymore.”

“People will still bother us…” I said with a sigh. Jean patted me on the back.

“Not while I’m around!” We entered Anteiku and Levi was actually on the coffee side for a change, wiping down the counters.

 

“Hey.”

“Hey, brat. How was school? Have any problems?” He asked as he tossed the rag into the sink. He had his bandana on as he usually did when he cleaned and he took it off and stuffed it in his back pocket and left it hanging out a little.

“Just quite a few glares. Everyone made it seem like the fight was my fault. That their friends got suspended because of me…” Levi sighed and I could tell he wanted to reach out to me, but he was hesitating.

“Sorry about all that. It’s ridiculous. Just hang in there.” He gave me a smile and I nodded and headed towards the time clock with Jean. After we got clocked in, Levi returned to the merchandise side, while Jean and I took over the coffee bar, as usual.

Jean got to work on the small line of customers, and I set to work on the sink full of dishes that had piled up.

“I’ll take a medium caramel latte please. For here.”

“Sure.” The voice sounded familiar, but it wasn’t until I turned around that I recognized him.

“Hey Eren!” Marco said with that kind smile of his and a wave. His face had a slight tinge of pink to it, and I wonder if it had been from the walk in? Maybe the temperature had dropped. His freckles dotted his cheeks sporadically and his brown hair was parted down the middle. He was also a student at Trost University, but he had introduced himself as a 1st semester sophomore. He looked really young though, and he announced to us as we sat in the studio one day, that he had taken a bunch of AP classes in high school to progress so soon.

He had shown us some of his work, and it was pretty contemporary. Mostly blocks of color and geometric designs. He had spent months designing his pieces, which is why we were just now seeing him in the studio. All of his creations were intricate and well thought out.

I heard glass shatter and turned to Jean who look mortified as he stared at the smashed mug as his feet behind the counter. Luckily, he hadn’t filled it yet, so nothing was spilled. Levi walked through to our side to check on us.

“You guys okay?” He raised his eyebrow as he saw me scrambling for a broom.

“Yeah, just a broken mug! No biggie.”

“Levi! You work here too?”

“Yeah. Me, Eren and Jean here.” I leaned down to help Jean sweep up the glass and he hit his head on the counter.

“SHIT!” His face was turning red.

“Are you okay?!”

“I’m FINE!” He huffed as he rubbed at his head. He obviously wasn’t, but I didn’t press the issue. “I’m going to take my break.” He brushed off his apron, and ran outside, leaving me alone behind the counter. I looked at Levi in confusion as I dumped the dustpan into the trash.

“Levi, do you know how to make a caramel latte?” I begged. Jean had shown me a few basic things, but that wasn’t one of them. Maybe Farlan had shown him that one.

“Yeah, actually.” He walked behind the counter and began washing his hands.

“LEVIIII, where did you GOOOOOO?” Isabel called through from the other side.

“Jean is taking his break. Eren needed help.”

“Okie Dokie!” She poked her head back through and I heard the register open and close.

Levi got to work on the drink as Marco leaned against the counter.

“I haven’t seen you guys around the studio much lately. Have you been working a lot?” Marco asked as he looked around the shop.

“Yeah, we get pretty good hours here.”

“BUT.” Levi interjected as he added the coffee into the cup. “We are going to have to start showing up to the studio again. I’ve got to talk to Isabel about that. We need to pick up your tutoring again. So maybe every other day.” I nodded as I went back to the sink full of dishes. My heart was fluttering. If I couldn’t work, I couldn’t help Mikasa pay off the debt. If I couldn’t study, I couldn’t graduate. If I couldn’t graduate, I’d be stuck in that hell hole of a school. I scrubbed a mug out and rinsed it, being careful not to get water onto my bandage.

The thought of the debt made me sink a little. It was still overwhelming. I wonder how much we’d paid. I’d cashed and given her all of my pay check since I’d started here, and so had Levi. Levi who wasn’t even a part of my family, and that hated my dad’s guts, was helping out. The mug slipped in my fingers and bounced off the edge of the sink and landed in the floor with a smash. SHIT! I felt my breath catch in my throat and I immediately began to panic.

“Is it just the day to throw all of my glasses in the floor?” Isabel asked as she poked her head into the café side. Levi sat Marco’s drink on the counter and he smiled as he accepted it and slipped a dollar into the tip jar.

“Thanks guys! I hope your day gets better. Tell the other guy thanks as well.” He made his way over to a table in the corner and sat down and Levi stood next to me.

“Eren?” My hands were shaking as I tried to pick up the chunks of the broken glass. “Stop. You’ll cut yourself.” He leaned down next to me and caught my hand with his, making me flinch. Warm grey eyes met mine, and I tensed. My whole body was tensing. I had a million thoughts rushing through me. I dropped the broken handle back to the floor and my gaze fell to the shattered glass. He leaned closer, the public’s view blocked by the counter and positioned his lips close to my ear. I could feel his breath ghosting off of my skin, and it made me shudder.

“Babe, what’s the matter?”   


“J-Just….thinking…too much.” He hadn’t let go of my hand, and the warmth of his touch was so nice. He’d never dared to touch me at work before, but maybe he could tell I was about to shatter just like the mug.

“Excuse me. I’d like a strawberry banana smoothie please.” Levi let go of my hand and stood up immediately, but I stayed where I was, kneeled in the floor, looking at the shattered glass. I heard him ring up the customer, wash his hands, and make the drink, before kneeling back beside me.

“Eren, talk to me. What’s on your mind?” I sighed and my eyes flicked up to meet his.

“T-The bill.” I was trying to catch a breath, trying to think of anything that would distract my thoughts, but it was difficult. “I…I need hours to help pay it.”

“You have to go to tutoring, Eren. Yes, it’s important to help your sister, but she understands that your studies HAVE to come first. And she doesn’t want to see you fall apart over this, I’m sure.” A piece of glass crunched under Levi’s boot. I nodded and I felt him pat my back.

“B-But I feel guilty over you helping us, also…”

“I told you it’s my own choice, Eren. Don’t worry about that. Alright? I want to do it.” He smiled at me and he hooked our arms together just long enough to help me stand. My heart still felt like it was going to liquefy, but at least he knew what I was worrying about. I reach for the broom with shaky hands, and began to sweep. Maybe that would take my mind off of the thousand thoughts running through my brain. I swept the pieces off the floor and Levi leaned back against the counter and watched me quietly. At that moment, Jean came back in from his break and grabbed a rag from the sink, then violently began wiping down the counters.

“What’s your problem?” Levi asked him cooly.

“None of your business.” He said as he scrubbed at a sticky spot on the counter. I emptied the last of the glass into the trashcan and set the broom aside.

“Yeah, it is my business if you are going to be pissed off with Eren over here.” Levi said with a frown.

“Eren didn’t piss me off. He’s fine.” Levi nodded and leaned up from the counter. My heart was still beating nearly out of my chest. I didn’t want Levi to leave just yet. I needed my anchor. Even if it was just for a couple of more minutes. I grabbed his sleeve.

“You alright?” I looked away without replying. I couldn’t calm down. The panic just wouldn’t go away. The worry was making me worry, and I was breathing, but they were sharp. $50,000? How long was that going to fucking take anyways?! And how much did I even make an hour?! What about taxes?! I didn’t think about taxes. Even if we added our checks together for the next few months. Shit, I was so bad at math, maybe the lessons weren’t helping at all. I took a step back and knocked a saucer over against the counter, and although it didn’t break, just the clank of the glass made me jump. SHIT! Jean stopped wiping the counters and Levi gave me a soft look. “Eren, look at me!” My eyes connected with Levi’s and I nearly completely lost it. My lip was quivering, but I was trying so hard to keep my tears in.

“S-Sorry…” I breathed out the words. I needed Levi’s touch, but we couldn’t. He was completely off limits for more reasons than one, and it was making me crumble. I couldn’t do this.

“Hey guys! Can I have Levi back for just a sec-WHOA Eren, what’s wrong?!” Isabel asked as she leaned over the counter. I blinked hard and shook my head.

“J-Just need…I don’t know what I…I…” I shook my head again as I looked at Levi. He frowned and he stepped towards me, but hesitated.

“How about you take a break as well Eren? You look a little frustrated.” Isabel offered. I nodded and sighed. Levi’s frown deepened as I reluctantly walked past him, and paused for a minute.

“Go call your sister. Maybe it’ll help.” He said with a shrug. I looked back at him and nodded. Our gaze finally broke and I walked outside, feeling the slightly warmer air blow over my skin. I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed her number.

“Hello…Eren?”

“H-Hey.”

“What’s up? I thought you had work?”

“I do…I’m on break. Just needed to clear my head.”

“Been thinking too much again?” She said with a heavy sigh.

“Y-Yeah…Say…about that debt. How far along are we?”

“Eren…Let’s just sat we have a long way to go. Even with everyone pitching in, it’s going to take a while.” I sighed and ran my shaky hands through my hair.

“L-Levi wants me to go back to tutoring during the week as well…I won’t be able to work as much…”

“It’s fine, you need to focus on YOU right now. Trust me. Even if it’s just a little bit coming in, it’ll be enough to keep dad off our backs.”

“Alright. I just feel so guilty. Everyone else around me seems to be working their fucking asses off, and I just can’t seem to hold it together, Mikasa. Levi has to pick up the pieces nearly every day and it’s just so-“

“Hold it right there. No one EVER said you have to keep it together. He’s there to KEEP you strong, Eren. He’s there to pick you back up. That’s what relationships are about, right?” My breath caught again, and I nodded silently to myself.

“Y-Yeah…”

“So just focus on getting yourself better and working on your grades.” I had kept Mikasa up to date on all of the meetings with Dr. Zacharius, but I wasn’t sure she fully grasped the whole situation. Someone who wasn’t going through the same thing, never really fully understood. You never really ‘got better’. You just got to a better level of dealing and coping with life. Of learning to manage with the way things were around you, and I was doing a pretty shitty job of that right now.

“I’ll try my best.”

“If you need me, promise you’ll call. Alright?”

“Will do.”

“I’ll talk to you later then Eren. I need to get back to my tables. I love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.” I hung up and dropped my head. I heard the bell to the shop ring behind me and someone sat next to me. The familiar cologne caught my nose, and I blinked. Levi was beside me! What if someone saw us together?!

“Feeling a little better?” I looked over to see him wearing a bright pink wig that looked just Shuichi’s hair from Gravitation.

“WHAT?!” My mouth dropped open as I looked at him. He slipped his arm around me and pulled me close.

“Isabel sent me on a break as well. She’s worried about you, brat. So am I. This was her idea.”

“You told her?” It was practically a whisper, but his arm was definitely welcomed and I drew close.

“She kept being nosy.” He said with a shrug. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and the pink hair tickled my face. “Besides, it all worked out, right? Sometimes we need a little bit of support. How did your talk go?”

“She told me not to worry. To take care of myself first…” he ruffled my hair and wrapped his other arm around me.

“See? I told you. Your sister cares about you, Eren. She wants you to succeed.” I relaxed into his arms and took a deep breath. I could care less that people were giving us odd stares. I had walked out of the shop without even grabbing my jacket and chills were starting to shake through me. Levi pulled away for a second, and just as I glanced up, he was pulling off his own jacket, wrapping it around me, and pulling me back against him. “Better?”

“Mhmm…” He kissed my head again and I sighed. My heartbeat was finally settling down. Levi was my calm in this world. He was my drug that I needed to survive that ever present thrum of thoughts coursing through my mind. He had a long sleeve shirt on, but I know it wouldn’t do him for very long in the cold. His fingers combed through my hair and he pulled me super close to him. I could hear the music echoing inside the shop through the open door. His voice began to sing softly next to my ear and my heart soared as he stroked my hair along with the words.

_Koko ni aru uta ga ii_

_Kanjite kono hikari_

_Saware nakute mie nakute mo_

_Itsu made mo soba ni aru_

He pressed a quick kiss to my cheek and picked the song back up.

_Haruka mirai no boku ga_

_Kono tegami hiraku toki ni_

_Tsutana sugite waratte mo_

_Koko ni aru yume ga zutto ookiku_

_Saiteru youni_

His voice just sounded so….right in Japanese. Oh my God. My heart was swirling as I listened to him sing the chorus and hum along to the rest of the song. It was hard, but he was learning it bit by bit. We had both listened to the Sword Art Online soundtrack together all the time, and this was one of our favorite songs.

“You know I’ve only sung for you, right?” he whispered in my ear. It made my face turn red and I buried it in his neck. Why would he say something like that right before we had to go back? He chuckled and rubbed my back. “Alright, let’s go inside. If you are up for it.”

“O-Okay.” I unburied my red face and looked at him. He just smiled and stroked my hot cheek once before letting go of me. I stood up and we walked inside together. The wig was a good idea.

“DOESN’T HE LOOK GOOD EREN?!!!!” Isabel shouted as she practically jumped on him. My face flushed again as I stared at the two of him.

“Calm down, Isabel!” Levi and Farlan said in sync. I finally let out a laugh as Levi slipped off the pink wig and tried to comb the tangles out of his hair. He went through that hell just for me and it really made me smile.

“If you need me, you know where I’ll be.” Levi said with a soft smile, before he disappeared back to the merch side. I walked back to the coffee counter to attempt the dishes again, and Isabel was scribbling something in a notebook.

 

The rest of the night passed rather quickly and it seemed nearly everyone in town wanted some form of coffee or sweets, but eventually, after the long day, we locked up.

“Okay guys! I need your measurements!”

“Why?” Levi asked as we gathered around the coffee bar. Farlan smiled as he looked over the notebook in Isabel’s hands.

“A special event! You sparked my idea, Levi! We’ll be hosting a dinner!” He frowned and gave me a look.

“A dinner?”

“A cosplay dinner! So I need your measurements for the costumes!” Levi’s eyes went wide as he looked at her.

“What are we cosplaying?!” She smiled and winked.

“Only the best hosts that ever existed!!!”

“OURAN?!!?!” We answered in unison and Jean’s hand went up to his face.

“You’ve GOT to be kidding me!”

“You’ve got it!”

“Wait! Who’s gonna be who?!” Levi asked as he looked at me.

“Well I want to be Honey!” Isabel said with a grin. “So Farlan can be Mori!” Farlan laughed and wrote down his measurements on the paper.

“What about Tamaki?!” I asked. Surely she wouldn’t leave it up to us!

“We’ll Levi is too short!” She said with a grin.

“Watch it!” He shot her a glare and wrote down his measurements.

“Jean is too shy. So that just leaves you, Eren. You have the classic smile, and always greet the customers so nicely!”

“ME!?”

“Sure!” I frowned as Levi handed me the pen. “It’ll be a very casual thing of course! No one will be pressuring you! Well, unless you two want to be the Hitachiin twins of course, then we WILL pressure you. Jean would have to be Tamaki.”

“N-No, I’ll be Tamaki…” I scribbled down my sizes and looked up at Levi’s. “Wait…If I’m Tamaki, then who are you guys going to be?”

“Dibs on Kyoya!” Jean spoke out as he wrote down his own measurements. My eyes fell on Levi next.

“B-But that just leaves…”

“Haruhi…” he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’ll do it but listen to me Isabel. Do NOT put me in a fucking dress. I want a uniform, like everyone else.”

“Excellent! I’ll order them! Leave it up to me guys!” She grinned and we left Anteiku for the night. I looked at Levi and frowned. This was ridiculous.

“I’m stopping by the store I guess, so we won’t be seen together. You sure you don’t mind Jean?” Levi asked as we all lingered around for a minute.

“Not at all.” Levi waved to us and walked off and my heart sunk. I sighed as I watched him go, but I felt a little better, knowing he was heading to the same place I was.

“Alright, let’s get going Eren.” Jean said with a smile. We walked side by side in the cool air, and eventually we ended up at Levi’s. I took the key from around my neck and unlocked the door.

“Thanks, Jean!”

“No problem. See ya.” I kicked off my shoes and hung up my hoodie. I walked over to the couch and face planted straight down into it. After a few minutes I heard the door open and didn’t bother looking up. Hopefully it was Levi.

“UGHHH…..”

“Do you make those noises often?” He said with a chuckle as he shut the door. I heard a plastic bag rattle, and he locked the door and kicked his own shoes off.

“Long day…” I heard him pad over towards me and felt his fingers in my hair. I was already tired, and I really wasn’t up for waiting around for dinner. I sighed at his touch. It felt so nice, but unfortunately it wasn’t helping to keep me awake. “Tired…hungry…meh…”

“Sit up brat. I have junk food for dinner.” I reluctantly sat up and he spread out everything he bought at the store for dinner. White cheddar popcorn, combos, reese cups, snickers bars, honey buns and a couple of granola bars. He grabbed a couple of glasses of juice for us from the fridge and sat them on the table.

“Levi…this isn’t really…”

“I know…I just grabbed whatever. It’s 100% junk food. I grabbed whatever looked good. He opened up the combos and started popping them into his mouth. “You can eat it or you can make something. Up to you. I’m just too tired to cook…”

“No, it’s alright!” I grabbed a handful of his combos and began munching.” After we had pretty much destroyed everything in the bag, including the candy, we drug ourselves upstairs to bed. “Levi?” Levi was clinging to me as I tried to undress.

“Warm…”

“The sooner I get my clothes off, the sooner we can snuggle right?” He nodded against me and began to strip right beside me. I think we were both so exhausted that the thought of taking our clothes to the hamper was just an afterthought. I stripped all the way down to my underwear, as did Levi and he threw back the covers and turned off the light. The blue of my night light cast the spooky glow across the room, but we paid it no attention as we tangled limbs together and wrapped ourselves up in each other.

Our lips met in a sloppy goodnight kiss, and Levi’s hand when up to my jaw to hold me steady.

“Mhmm, night babe.”

“Night…” He pressed one more kiss to my lips and let my head fall to his chest. I was asleep before I could even adjust just how I wanted to be against him.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it rains, it pours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by the lovely [connaweir](http://connaweir.tumblr.com/)  
> And our mutual love of rain <3  
> The song is Nostalgia-Brown Classic feat. Eric (Shinhwa)  
> The lyrics translation will be at the end, go read. 
> 
> Comments please! :D

A few days later

Eren’s POV

Things had settled down a little but after a few days, and although I still felt a little bit down, I didn’t feel as bad. I was meeting Levi and Hanji in the studio today, and to be honest, I felt pretty damn happy about it. Well, not about the math part, but definitely about incorporating our old routine back into our lives. Levi smiled at me and waved as I walked into the room, and I just longed to run over to him and hug him. I just gave him a soft smile and blocked out whatever nonsense Hanji was spewing. Levi had taught me I needed to do that sometimes. I sighed and walked over slowly to his side to look at what he was working on. He was covered in white powder, and his hands were sticky and covered in white thick goo.

“Hey brat.”

“Hey.” I looked down at his sculpture and sighed. This room always made me think of that amazing kiss we shared right up against the sink. I tapped my foot nervously.

“Don’t look at me with those eyes. It hurts me too, you know.” He whispered as he wiped his hands on the towel laying on the table. He wiped off most of the gunk that was encrusting his hands and picked up a piece of scrap cardboard he had laying on the table. “Come here before I change my mind.” He whispered so low that it made my heart throb. My cheeks went red as he pulled me down for a quick kiss, blocking the view of the window with the piece of the cardboard. My pulse was throbbing in my ears, but I’m pretty sure I heard Hanji squeal in the background.

“Hey guys. Woah. UGH!” We immediately broke apart and I stumbled back so fast I knocked over a stool and fell on the floor.

“SHIT!”

“SORRY!” Marco held up his hands in front of his red face. “Eren, are you alright?! I’m sorry!!!” Levi jumped up off of his own seat and ran over to me. Could you die from embarrassment? I’m pretty sure you could… Levi’s hand found mine and he pulled me up to my feet and righted the stool. I sighed and brushed off my clothes. My leg was throbbing from running into the stool. I’d probably have a big ass bruise tomorrow.

“I’m fine! It’s okay.” I said with a smile. I felt Levi brushing off my back and I looked over at him and sighed. I had wanted that kiss to last a little longer, but beggars can’t be choosers I suppose. “So you came to work today, Marco?” No shit. Was I an idiot or what?!

“Yeah, I came to sketch a bit today. My roommates were driving me nuts actually. If you don’t mind me being here…” He scratched at the back of his head and stood there awkwardly.

“It’s fine. Eren’s here for tutoring.” Levi said as he pointed at Hanji. His cheeks were turning pink as he went back to his stool and sat down. Hanji was actually silent for a change.

“Tutoring?” He asked as he pulled out his own seat at the end of the table and began pulling out sketchbooks and pencils out of his backpack.

“I suck at math…” I admitted as I sat down next to Hanji.

“He’s got art brain!” Hanji said as she patted me on the back.

“I think we all have that, Eren.” Marco admitted. “The only math I’m decent in is algebra for some reason.” He shrugged and began measuring out lines on his paper. Levi was cutting more strips of the white cloth.

“I hate this shit. I don’t know why he insisted we use it.” Levi growled as he glared at the pile of strips he was cutting. Hanji hummed and I glanced in his direction. His bandana had white thumbprints all over it, as did his apron. The stuff was everywhere. No wonder Levi hated it.

“What is it?”

“Plaster cloth. It’s like the stuff they make casts for broken bones out of.” I nodded and looked down at my book and groaned.

“So…Just to clear a couple of things up…” Marco asked awkwardly. “And I don’t mind at all. Really I don’t! Are you and Levi…”

“Dating?” Levi asked as he dipped the cloth into his bowl of water and applied it to his sculpture.

“Yeah…not to be nosy…just curious…” He looked up from his sketchbook with pink cheeks. Levi sighed and looked over at me.

“Well…” I could tell he was thinking twice about telling him. He was scared about the whole issue. “Yeah, we are. But it’s supposed to be under wraps write now…well, with the public at least. Our friends know of course. But we can’t be open with it right now…”

“I won’t tell anyone, I swear!” He said as he waved his arms in front of him! “I think you guys make a great couple!” I felt the red getting deeper on my cheeks. Hanji was shoving a sheet of math problems at me, and I was trying to work on them as I listened in on their conversation.

“S-Speaking of couple…Ugh…Is…umm….Who is the barista at your shop?” My pencil snapped right at the lead and my eyes shot to him.

“Jean?”

“That’s his name…I know you told me, but I forgot…Was he okay? He seemed a little-“

“Shaken up? Yeah, I noticed that too.” Levi said as he tucked his last strip into place and walked over to the sink. He began cleaning up his area, pretty much throwing everything away that wasn’t his sculpture.

“D-Do you think…”

“That is more of a question for Eren.” My eyes went wide and shifted back and forth between Marco and Levi.

“Do I think what?!?”

“Do you think Jean was flustered over Marco?” My jaw dropped open and Hanji laughed as she picked up my pencil and took it to the sharpener for me.

“I-I don’t know! H-He just dropped the glass all of a sudden…then he bumped his head…maybe…” This was turning too awkward, too fast. “Ask him yourself!” My face was red and I really didn’t want to think about it. Hanji handed my pencil back to me with a giggle as I tried to start back on my problems. Levi’s phone began to ring and I groaned. “CAN I DO SOME MATH, PLEASE?!” He snickered and stepped out into the hallway.

All I could hear now was the low vibration of Levi’s voice, and Marco’s pencil scratching on the paper. I sighed and looked outside. It was turning dark already? The clock on my phone said 3:30. Rain started pelting off of the window and I sighed. Maybe it would rinse all of the salt and grit off of the roads, but it wouldn’t do much to help us out. Not like it would raise the temperature or keep us dry.

Levi walked back into the room and stuffed his phone into his pocket before he began wiping off the table. He smiled at me as I looked up at him. My brain just couldn’t focus today, and Hanji was sharing my frustration.

“Eren…this isn’t working today. Let’s try some different problems.” She took the worksheet away from me and began flipping through her book as Levi stared at me.

“Isabel called. She said the outfits came in. We can go pick them up when we are done here.”

“What day is the dinner?”

“It’s on Saturday night.” I sighed and flipped my pencil in my fingers. “I know…it sucks. And it’s not even in the café.”

“What?”

“She said something about a ballroom?”

“What are you guys doing?” Hanji asked with a smile as she stuck her bookmark in the correct section.

“We are doing a cosplay café with Ouran...well I guess it’s more of a cosplay dinner now.” A howl of wind blew against the doors and I gave Levi a slightly worried look.

“EXCITING!!!” Hanji said as she clapped her hands together. Marco was smiling and nodded. “But that weather is looking pretty scary. I didn’t hear about a storm. Did you guys?”

“No.” Levi said as he took off his apron and bandana and threw it into his art box. “I’m going to call Erwin. There’s no point in-“ The power shut off and I heard Levi sigh. “Tch. There’s no point in us staying here. What do you guys think?” Three phones buzzed at once at they all looked at them simultaneously. “Fuck…guess we don’t even have a choice now! Trost is so stupid sometimes.” Levi was scowling at his phone and Hanji was frantically packing up.

“Pack up Eren. We gotta go. Campus is closing.” She said with a frown. My heart began to race. Just by looking outside, I could see the bare trees whipping in the wind. I tried to tell Levi how I felt with just my glances, but it wasn’t working. I felt like I was going to have an attack. My breath was starting to catch. My hands were shaking. I didn’t want to go out there, and furthermore I didn’t want to go out there without Levi. I tried to take my mind off of it by shoving stuff into my bad, but even after I was done packing, my feet wouldn’t move. I couldn’t leave him there.

“I-I can’t.” Hanji was tugging at my sleeve.

“Come on Eren! We need to go. NOW!” I was planted in front of the door, trembling. The rain was pouring outside, and I just couldn’t budge. Marco was packing up now as well and I just felt like I was getting ready to have a break down. My heart was pulling me back to Levi while Hanji was trying to yank me out the door.

“Hanji! Stop it!” Levi hissed. “He’s upset. Calm down. Go stand by the other door.” I heard the hall door shut and lock, then Levi stood in front of me.  


“Eren. Listen to me. You need to head out.”

“Don’t want to leave you here.” I wanted to reach for his hand, but we were right in front of the window. The rain was pretty much hammering the sidewalk outside and he took a step closer, then he sighed and took my hand in his.

“It’s freaking pouring the rain. No one is going to bother to stop and look inside.” I tried to settle my breathing as Levi hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me up against him. “Please listen. I know it’s scary. I know you are probably terrified, but please go.”

“Not without you.” He sighed and drew back for a moment to look at me.

“Jaeger, I swear you are so fucking stubborn sometimes… Let’s go Hanji! We are all leaving together! You coming along Marco? I guess we are going to run all the way to Anteiku!”

“Sure!” Marco spoke up. Levi stuffed his messenger bag into my cabinet and locked it up, because he didn’t want his laptop getting soaked, then he pulled my hood over my head

“At least your face will be mostly hidden. I just don’t want to cause trouble. I know it’s the middle of a storm, but still. Alright guys, let’s go.” He locked his hand with mine again and motioned towards the door. With one big push, we made our way outside, and the force of the rain hit us directly. I gripped Levi’s hand tight and he pulled me along as we pretty much ran to Anteiku. My heart was throbbing in my chest as I raced after the raven hair in front of me. He was soaked within the first 30 seconds, and to be honest, I was too, but just being able to grip onto his hand like this outside for a while made it all worth it. The streets were completely deserted, aside for a few students rushing back to the door rooms.

I heard his boots splashing against the ground in front of me as we ran and we turned the corner. Hanji almost slid as she hit a puddle. I thought I heard Marco’s voice echo in the silent vacuum caused by the rain, but I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that I was being tugged along by my prince. He shot a look back in my direction to make sure I was alright, and it’s like everything was moving in slow motion.

The lights of Anteiku finally came into view and Levi kept pulling me along, glancing back at me with those warm grey eyes that I adored so much. His eyeliner was trashed. It was running and dripping all over his face, and every piece of clothing we were wearing was soaked down to our socks.

The bell to Anteiku rung as we crashed through the door, and luckily, it was abandoned as Levi pulled me inside by my hand and up close to his side. Not one customer was inside the cozy café, but for that I was thankful.

“Welcome to-Holy crap!” Jean pretty much dropped the greeting as he saw us. I shivered as I clung to Levi. He pushed the hood down off of my head and sighed at my wet hair.

“You s-still got soaked?” His arms were around me and he pulled me right up against him.

“Levi…what if someone comes in?” He frowned and put his head on my shoulder. “We are cold and wet. I’m warming you up…”

“AGHHH!!! Jean get the mop!!! Farlan! Towels!” Isabel called out as she started taking coats and hanging them up on the coat rack to attempt to dry them. She flipped the sign on the store to closed and locked the door. Farlan handed us a couple of hand towels and Levi began drying my hair with it, even though he was dripping from head to toe himself.

I grabbed the second towel from him and started drying his hair instead, since I had at least had my hood over my head. Levi frowned as I began wiping the water away from him.

“Eren, you-“

“You’re just as wet…” I whispered as I wiped water from the jet black locks. He blinked and I wiped water off of his face, trying to wipe away the smeared and running eyeliner.

“Come pick out some clothes guys!” Isabel said as she tugged Hanji and Marco through to the other side, and Jean chased after them, leaving us alone. Levi just proceeded to pull me closer and try to warm me up through body heat, and our wet clothes slid together. I swallowed hard, and he smiled gently and pressed me back into the far corner wall.

“Eren…” I let the soaked towel drop to the floor, and my arms were around Levi’s neck before I could think straight. I just wanted him. I wanted to be close. A loud clap of thunder shook through the building and I buried my face into his neck. I could hear the rain outside pouring, and it was almost therapeutic, but the claps of thunder had me on edge. Levi’s hands were in my messy wet hair, caressing and combing through what he could. “ S’okay. I’m here.” I could feel myself shaking against him, but the shakes were being absorbed into strong muscle. Into my rock. He was stopping my panic. I was so thankful.

He pressed a kiss to my neck and I let out a sigh before I took a deep breath. It’s just a storm. We were fine. We were safe. The power flickered for a moment, but it somehow managed to stay on. I repeated it to myself, but then I had a thought. I was supposed to be talking this shit through…

“I-I’m scared…” No shit. I’m pathetic. I huddled closer to him and whimpered after I said it.

“I know… You just have to stay strong. It’ll be over soon.”

“I…I was scared that I’d have to leave you behind. B-But we are together. So…So I’m alright?” Levi paused for a minute and pulled back to look at me.

“Are you alright?” Was I? Who knows? My heart was calming down to a somewhat normal pace. I could breathe okay.

“Y-yeah…I don’t want to let you go though…if you are here, you’re safe.” I admitted. I watched a drop of water roll all the way down from Levi’s bangs to his chin and drip off. He closed the distance between us and brought our lips together in a gentle kiss. I could feel the water droplets running down our faces dripping onto the floor as we kissed and his hand came up to stroke my chin. This was one of the gentlest kisses we’d ever shared, with only soft brushes of lips and silky touches of tongues. There was no battle for dominance, no fight, just smooth movement, and pure love for each other. He was trying to comfort me without any words and it was certainly working.

That was until I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard a banging on the door. I’m pretty sure I gripped his arm so tight he was going to have a fucking bruise.

“AGHHHH! THE FUCK! LEVI!!!” I jumped behind him and hid. He held out his arms and peaked through the window.

“Really?! Isabel! I’m letting a drowned dog in!” Levi called out as he unlocked the door. Erwin shook off some rain from his rain coat as he walked in. “You scared the shit out of us, Eyebrows!”

“Sorry! Didn’t mean too!” Erwin said with an apologetic smile as Levi locked the door back. I was straight back at his side again, and his arms were around me in a matter of seconds.

“You okay? Sorry shit for brains gave you a heart attack.” I just shook my head and grabbed for his hand. If I held onto him I’d be okay.

“I’m fine.”

“Good…”

“GUYS!! Your turn! Come get some dry clothes and change!” I held onto Levi’s hand for a moment, and then suddenly, without warning, the lights shut off. I whimpered and squeezed his hand. “Come on! There’s still daylight from the windows!” I held on his hand as he pulled me through the store and I felt my face turning red. We’d never really been that open with our relationship like this at work, but that wasn’t stopping Levi. We picked out 2 shirts and a couple pairs of plain black pants before grabbing two plastic bags and making our way into the bathroom.

We left the door cracked a little and turned on the flashlights on our phones as we changed. I shot Levi a weary glance as I abandoned my soaked underwear and tossed it in the bag. Guess we couldn’t be entirely lucky enough to get stuck in a store that sold everything we needed. I could feel my face turning red already. We took the last two towels and tried to dry off the rest of the way. I could only vaguely see Levi moving around next to me in the dark, tossing drenched clothes in his plastic bag.

“I guess you are going commando, too?” he whispered in my ear. I swallowed hard and made a noise of agreement. “Could be worse I guess. We could be stuck in these soaked clothes. At least we are nearly dry.” He found my hand in the dark and pulled me up next to him. I saw him bring the towel up to my head again and ruffled it over my hair. I felt a chill run over my bare back, but I still smiled at the touch. Levi was so gentle with me. I could just see the hint of his expression. Relaxed, calm, concentrated. Like drying me off completely was the most important thing in the world right now. Another droplet ran down his cheek, but he paid it no mind as he carefully dried me. I wiped it away with my fingers and gave him a half-smile.

“Thanks, Levi.”

“Mhmm…” He carefully dried off the back of my neck and gave me a smile. Gentle lips pressed a soft kiss against mine and he continued wiping away what little water there was left.

“You guys are taking FOREVER!” The door opened and he flipped us around immediately, pulling me right up against him close, but it left his back exposed completely exposed to the intruder from head to toe. Someone had just walked in on us while we were naked and pressed up against each other like this?! I could feel my face scorching his chest and my eyes even watered when I realized Levi had shown himself to shield me. Sure it was dark, but any light from the café that made it’s way into the small bathroom was lighting it up. And who knew who else was standing outside?

“GET THE FUCK OUT HANJI!!!” He yelled. I could feel his voice boom trough his chest, and to be honest I’d never really heard him yell like that before.

“HANJI!!!” I heard Erwin’s voice echo throughout the café and the door slammed shut, leaving us in the dark. I could hear Erwin screaming at her. My heart was beating against my own chest, as well as Levi’s. Fuck. I heard a soft chuckled coming from him, and looked up to see his eyes shimmering in the little bit of light coming off of our phones in the corner.

“Levi?” He ruffled my hair again took the towel off of the sink and quickly dried his own.

“Sorry for my insane friend, Eren. I guess all of Anteiku and Marco have now seen our asses.” I groaned and buried my face deeper into his chest.

“Nooooo.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“At least they didn’t see the front?” He said with a shrug. “Not like you’ve got anything that needs hiding. You’re fucking stunning, Eren. Come on, let’s get dressed.” We threw on our clothes, minus underwear of course and grabbed our phones and finally exited the bathroom. We found everyone huddled up in the café around teacups.

“Tea?” Levi asked in disbelief.

“Jean had some boiling water made before you came! So tea for everyone!” They poured us both a cup and popped a tea bag in. Hanji was pouting on the sofa next to Erwin.

“Apologize, Hanji!” He poked her in the side and she huffed.

“I’m sorry I opened the door…” Levi just nodded and my face went up a few shades of red as I clung to his hand. Marco was just setting there enjoying his tea. Had he really seen my ass? I hope not…that’d just be awkward…

“It’s not like it wasn’t a good thing Hanji!” Isabel giggled. “Levi is so toned after all. But he turned Eren away so quick…not even a peak. Hmph!”

“They are your employees Isabel!” Farlan yelled.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t have eye candy around the shop!”

“It’s sexual harassment!” He growled. Levi chuckled and gave my hand a squeeze. I felt better now that I was sure no one had really seen me, but I still felt bad they’d gotten an eye full of Levi. He was mine… It made my stomach churn. It wasn’t right. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. They needed to fucking stop talking now.

“But Levi is so dark and sexy!” she giggled as she nearly spilled her tea. My heart was about to rip out of my chest. I couldn’t take it.

“Hey. Stop it!” I spoke up and eyes fell on me. Isabel’s eyes went wide.

“Don’t talk about Levi like that.” The room fell silent and even Hanji was quiet. “He’s not yours to ogle at. He’s…he’s mine. So don’t.” I pulled him closer to me and blushed harder, but I had to stand my ground. “So stop with saying those things. Only I’m allowed to, and if I hear it again, I’ll really tell you off.” I warned her with a stern tone to my voice and Levi turned to me and had a surprised look in his eyes.

“Heard ya loud and clear, Eren! Sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep!” She gave me an apologetic smile.

“Y-Yeah…”I was starting to sweat now at the confrontation. Levi gave my hand a squeeze.

“You’ve got a protective one, Heichou!” Hanji giggled.

“Don’t call me that!” Levi growled.

“Heichou?” Isabel joked. “Like the Heichou as in Captain? On Shingeki?” A blush spread across Levi’s cheeks and his eyes shot to the floor. His brain was trying to flip through all of the different excuses, trying to think one up. My mind drifted back to his pen name…it was captain wasn’t it? I’d have to ask him about that when we were home. It had just never come up. His hand was twitching in mine and his eyebrow was making the same motion. He couldn’t come up with an excuse.

“I-It’s just a nickname.” He mumbled. “And so what if Eren’s protective. So am I. I like that.” He turned to me and kissed me on the cheek in front of everyone. The only seat left was an arm chair that wasn’t quite big enough for the both of us around the coffee table. Levi sighed and pulled me into it with him. He sat me down on the bottom, and on my lap he went. I’m sure I changed twenty different shades of red as he got adjusted on my lap.

“So kawaii!” Isabel giggled. “Oh! We have the cosplays in! You drove right, Erwin?”

“Yeah, I did.” He sipped on his tea and pointed towards the door.

“Good! You can take them with you then!” We glanced outside and the rain was still beating against the window. Levi picked up his teacup and stirred sugar in it as usual before sipping it, and made mine for me as well since my lap was full. I wrapped one arm around his waist and the other held onto my own cup. I buried my face into his shoulder between sips to try and keep down my embarrassment. Sure we’d sat like this in front of Erwin and Hanji, but NEVER in front of this many people. They may be our friends, but still. My heart was skipping in my chest and my stomach felt a little queasy.

Levi was very light on my lap as usual, and his legs were crossed as he sat at drank his tea. He looked elegant almost. The pants he was wearing hugged every spot just right, and I blushed ever harder when I remembered I wasn’t the only one not wearing underwear.

“Oh! By the way guys, I forgot to mention…You have dance lessons here.” She handed Levi a business card and his eyes went wide.

“Dance lessons?! Seriously?!”

“You can’t be hosts without dancing!” Levi sighed and downed the rest of his tea.

 

Eventually, the rain let up to a light drizzle for a while, and we took the opportunity to bail. We grabbed our cosplays wrapped in plastic zip up garment bags, and made a break for Erwin’s car. I frowned as I slid in to the backseat. I couldn’t snuggle up close with Levi. We’d just have to act normally until we got inside the house. Erwin dropped us off and we ran inside, kicking off our shoes and hauling in our mess of plastic bags and garment bags. Levi reach me his suit to hold and I traded him my bag of wet clothes and followed him to the washer. He started a load immediately and tossed the contents of the bags inside. The soaked clothes made a thud as they hit the bottom of the washer and he threw away the bags after he added detergent to the machine and shut the lid.

“Alright, let’s go put those in the closet.” I followed him upstairs and hung the garment bags up in the closet. He sighed and crossed his arms. I heard the rain and wind pick up again and took a step closer to him. “Shower?” He offered as his hands went up to my shoulders. His fingers began to knead the muscles under my shirt and I nodded at the word. A shower did sound good. We both smelled like musty rain and wet clothes.

“Shower sounds nice.” He pulled me with him into the bathroom and started the shower. We started stripping each other as usual, and that’s when I noticed it. The purple mark on his arm. I really had left one after all. I grimaced and pulled his arm close to me. “Shit…I’m so sorry. Levi, I really didn’t mean to.” Those stupid fucking flashbacks were starting. I could see my dad’s cold eyes, hear his voice. I could picture my own bruises. I’d never do that to Levi on purpose. Never. “Levi…I promise…I swear…”

“Eren, relax. Really. It was an accident right? You were scared.” I nodded so hard that I shook him. He pulled my chin down and pressed a light kiss to my lips. “Then it’s okay. I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” My stomach did a roll and I nodded. He took a step back and smiled before working on my own clothes. My shirt and my pants were off next and he paused and lightly rubbed over my leg.

“Tch, you did a number on your leg, brat.” I frowned and looked down. It was about 3 different shades of purple and grey from where I had knocked over the stool earlier. I just shrugged and rubbed it a little. It was sore, but I’d survive. At least I’d done it myself.

“I’ll be okay. Come on. Pants. Off.” I tugged at the band of his pants and he smirked, then stepped out of them. We got into the hot shower together and another loud clap of thunder rocked through our building. I buried my face again and strong arms were around me, pulling me close. I felt weak. I felt nervous. I hated the helpless way the thunder made me feel. It was so unpredictable. I preferred the rain over the thunder. At least I could watch the rain and the patterns of the droplets it made on the windows. The rain was somewhat predictable. I whimpered at the next boom and sunk down, right under his chin.

“Eren…babe, let’s just hurry and get clean.” I felt guilt churning in my stomach. I didn’t expect another storm this bad. I didn’t think… I sighed and nodded against his collarbone. I felt shampoo being poured into my hair and massaged in with one hand as I stayed anchored in place. He washed his own hair at the same time, and after rinsing, he began to wash my shoulders and neck, then he eventually had to push me back a little to wash the rest of me. He finished his own shower in record time, and after we both rinsed off the suds, we dried off.

We finished up in the bathroom and Levi pulled me straight to the bed, not bothering to stop at the dresser for clothes. I was thankful, because right as we began to settle in, another boom echoed through the house and I clung to him. The lights flickered and I began to tremble.

“Please stay on, please stay on, please stay-“ The lights shut off and we were left in the dark. I whimpered and huddled up against him.

“I’m calling that vile landlord tomorrow. I swear Eren.” All I could manage to do was nod. Lightening flashed through the apartment and yet another rumble shook the walls.

“L-Levi…” His fingers were gently stroking my hair and I felt his chest begin to vibrate and his voice echo. He was singing softly. Just for me. I recognized the song, but couldn’t quite place the name of it. All I knew was that it was Korean and I had no clue what he was saying. I just knew he was smiling as he sung, rubbing gentle circles in my hair.

_Neoreul hyanghae narga kkumkkwowadeon gureum_

_Chacheum naege dagawa_

_Nuneul gamgo neoreul bogo ineun nal_

_Ddaddeuthage gamssajune_

He paused to press a kiss to my forehead and tangled our legs together. I didn’t feel any pressure to do anything with Levi. He knew I was scared, and he knew how I felt. He was just calmly laying with me, comforting me, caressing me, singing to me.

_Unmyeongeun ireohge_

_Gabjagi nareul chajawaji_

_Seolleim gipeun jameul kkaewo_

_Gureum wireul georeoganeun gibun_

_Bada wireul geodneun jayuroum_

I reach for his hand and he gladly laced our fingers together, resting our intertwined hands on his side. I tried to focus on the rain pouring against the windows, on his voice, on his singing, on his gentle strokes.

_Shigani geureun dwie_

_Jigeumcheoreomman nae gyeote isseojwo_

_Hamkke georeo nareul gidarin_

_Kkeutebtneun haneul_

_Gamchul su eobneun i keodaran_

_I keodaran haengbog_

My breath caught as he pressed a kiss to my cheek at first, then he moved to my lips. It deepened and I loosened up just enough to let him kiss me. I was still tense, but I was breaking down enough of my walls to let him in. Just like before, lips were moving, tongues dances and touched, but this time I didn’t battle. I submitted and sunk back into the pillow and let him kiss me away into a place my mind couldn’t pull me away to. We pulled apart for a moment for a breath and he smiled at me and continued his song.

_Unmyeongeun ireohge_

_Gabjagi nareul chajawaji_

_Seolleim gipeun jameul kkaewo_

_Gureum wireul georeoganeun gipun_

_Bada wireul geodneun jayuroum_

“Eren…” One more kiss that made my toes curl and my mind fade in at the edges before we broke apart again. I was clinging to him and I certainly didn’t want to let go, but I’d heard that question in my name.

_Sarangeun ireohge_

_Keodaran haengbogeul juneun geot_

_Unmyeongeun nareul deo gabyeobge_

_Gureum wireul georeogeneun gibun_

_Bada wireul geodneun jayuroum_

He finished the last verse and placed one final kiss to my lips before looking directly into my eyes. Warm grey peered into my eyes, and I sunk lower. It’s like he was looking directly into me, and I felt strange.

“Why are you so scared of the storm?” He brushed my hair gently away as he asked it and tilted his head to the side. I felt myself go numb. I didn’t want to tell it, but I guess I had no choice. I sighed and stared right back into Levi’s eyes. Another flash of lightening had me whimpering and reaching out for his hand.

“I…I…my mom passed away during a bad storm…” I admitted. Levi frowned and nodded. I paused after I said it. Tears were welling up, but I just didn’t have the strength to cry today. I didn’t want to slip down into that low any further. “A-And that day…I came home…I had spent the last few hours with her at the hospital…” He was holding onto me, caressing anything he could get his hands on. “I-I said my goodbyes, and she just sort of slipped away…and then I came home. Mikasa was locked in her room. Dad was downstairs drinking…and then it all started…he screamed at me that day. Pushed me a-against the wall…” I felt a single tear make it’s way down my cheek and Levi wiped it away and pulled me close.

“Well that’s over now, Eren. You are safe here. As long as you are with me.” I nodded and buried my face in his neck. Dad wasn’t worth my tears, but Mikasa and Mom were. I still loved them with all my heart and the grief was still heart breaking. I missed Mikasa, and just seeing her at school wasn’t enough. Levi rolled to my side and I listened to the rain bounce off of the roof and the windows. It was making me drowsy. Maybe it was just the constant level of stress and emotions coursing through me today that was wearing me down? I felt my eyes flutter closed for a second and then pop back open.

Levi settled under me again, and I felt him ease my head down onto his chest. Our legs tangled again and his arms were wrapped protectively around me. His gentle breathing had my head rising and falling.

“Rest Eren. You look exhausted.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. I stretched my arm out and looped it around his middle and felt the smooth skin under my fingers. For a second, I felt guilt wash over me.

“S-Sorry we didn’t…”

“Don’t finish that sentence. We both had a hard day. Don’t ever apologize for not wanting anything like that or being too upset for it. Got it?” I nodded and snuggled closer. “Besides, I’m pretty partial to naked cuddling anyways. You are pretty fucking warm.” I grinned against him and felt sleep tugging at me. Only after a few minutes it finally won, carrying me away to the land of dreams.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cloud I dreamed for you  
> Slowly, you come to me  
> I close my eyes and, it's a day where I see you  
> I'm wrapped in warmth  
> Fate is like this  
> Suddenly, it came to find me  
> Excitement, I wake from my deep sleep  
> The feeling of walking on the clouds  
> The freedom of walking on the sea
> 
> After time passed  
> Just like now, stay by my side  
> Walk together, I waited  
> An unending sky  
> It can't be concealed, this great  
> This great happiness  
> Fate is like this  
> Suddenly, it came to find me  
> Excitement, I wake from my deep sleep  
> The feeling of walking on the clouds  
> The freedom of walking on the sea  
> Love is like this  
> A giver of great happiness  
> Fate makes me lighter  
> The feeling of walking on the clouds  
> The freedom of walking on the sea


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance practice for the dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun one to write ha. ;) 
> 
> Comments please? *puppy eyes* :3
> 
> I'm finally over my "mini" writers block and the story is moving forward again. Phew. Seems like slow motion?

A couple days later

Eren’s POV

The shift for the day passed quickly and we all went to the dance studio together after work. Jean was grumbling something about Kyoya not dancing, but I knew it was a lie.

We walked through the door together and was greeted by an older woman with her hair up in a tight bun.

“Welcome, welcome! Let’s get right to it! Who’s my (she looked at her list) Tamaki and Haruhi?” I raised my hand as did Levi and she giggled. “Partner up! Everyone else partner as well!” Jean frowned and crossed his arms. “But-“We heard the bell ring and looked back at the door.

“Perfect timing Marco!” What? I looked back to see Marco holding a few bags of groceries as he walked through the door. “Can you stand in?” He smiled bright and then suddenly his face went red when he realized who we were.

“Ugh…S-Sure!”

“Marco lives upstairs, but he took lessons for a few years!” She said with a smile. Isabel was already holding onto Farlan, so that just left…Jean. He was blood red. Marco sat his groceries down by the door and walked up to him. “Okay, get comfortable everyone!” Jackets came off and I nearly licked my lips at the sight of Levi in his t-shirt. So I guess it was okay to touch Levi here? He had already taken my hand in his before I had the chance to think about it and I smiled. We walked to the dance floor and she taught us how to ‘properly’ ask a lady to dance.

“Alright, Tamaki?” She asked as she pointed at me.

“EREN.” I corrected and sighed. Although the thought of her calling Levi, Haruhi for the entire evening was tempting, it was just going to make things more complicated.

“Okay Eren. You are the lead, I’m guessing?” I nodded and looked down at Levi. He was frowning, looking at the woman with daggers. “I didn’t mean it like that Sweetie! It says it on the paper!” She showed us the paper and smiled. Levi loosened a little and let his frown slip a bit. The last thing we needed were short jokes. She went to adjust our arms and I flinched back. My heart began to pound already. Shit… “Sorry, sorry! Just ugh, move your arms here on this side up quite high. Yes like that. And these, wrap right under and round the shoulders. Yes…sort of. Marco, will you show them? The regular Waltz.” Marco’s face was flushed but he pulled Jean forward and showed everyone the proper technique.

“Marco! Would you like to cosplay with us?!” Isabel shouted out. “You are the only one that really knows how to dance, and Jean needs a partner for the main event!” Jean was turning red as he hung onto Marco, but Marco just grinned.

“Sure! But if I remember right, the only ones left are the twins? There can’t be just one?”

“Aren’t the twins already in the program?” The instructor said as she pointed to the paper.

“AGHHHH!!! UM WELL ABOUT THAT!” Isabel was scratching nervously at her head. I gave Levi a shrug and we turned to look at Isabel. “Well…I ugh…haven’t exactly asked you guys yet…but…” she pulled two bags out of her gigantic purse and held them out. Inside of the clear bags were two auburn wigs.

“Levi, Eren…could you?”  


“But I thought we were Tamaki and Haruhi?” Levi asked as he stepped back and looked at her.

“You are! It’s…just for a scene…or two. PLEASE!” Levi went from relaxed to pissed off in a matter of 0.3 seconds flat.

“Seriously Magnolia?! You want me to put Eren through that in front of all of those people?!” She frowned a bit and let her hand drop. I put my hand on Levi’s shoulder and watched his eyes narrow.

“Levi…”

“Well…It’s completely up to you guys. You don’t have to. But Ouran isn’t the same without the twins. I don’t have anyone else I can use. Plus…I may have already written it into the programs…but I can cross it out!” She was frowning now.

“Levi…it’s fine. I’ll do it, if you are okay with it. It’s just for a couple of quick scenes right?” Levi’s eyes went wide and he turned towards me. His face was turning pink.

“E-Eren….you really.” He sighed and shot a look at Isabel before looking back towards me. “Are you sure? Don’t feel fucking pressured to do that. You don’t have to.” I shook my head and smiled.

“I get to touch you at work, right? What could be better?” I gave him a bright smile to reassure him and he sighed again.

“Fine. But listen Isabel. We aren’t doing it for free. We have demands.” He crossed his arms and stared at her.

“D-Demands?” Her mouth dropped open. “Okay?”

“Number one, I get to write the scenes. And number two, we get two week’s paid vacation for the year.”

“WHAT?!”

“Agree or we won’t do it. Right Eren?” I nodded and smiled.

“It’s up to Levi. If he won’t agree, then I won’t.”

“Damn it! Fine you guys win!” She sighed and tossed the wigs to us.

“Alright everyone, back to lessons!” The lady (and Marco) directed us on how to properly dance a Waltz, and it actually wasn’t as hard as I thought. Marco decided that his character was going to be Nekozawa, because he was just going to be there for the dancing anyway. Isabel ordered his cosplay on her phone and rush shipped it.

We finished up with casual dancing, which I enjoyed a lot more. My hands were lower on Levi’s waist and I got to really look down at those pink cheeks of his.

Afterwards, we all chatted over bottles of water and a game plan of the night. Our ‘twin’ scenes were going to be very short, but we’d still flip back and forth between Tamaki, Haruki, Hikaru, and Kaoru throughout the night.

“Don’t let me down with those scenes Levi!” Isabel threatened as she pointed her bottle of water at him. “I want some good yaoi! You better not disappoint me!” My face went red and I buried it in Levi’s shoulder. He DEFINITELY knew what good yaoi was…she had NO idea.

“Listen to me shit for brains, you wouldn’t know good yaoi if it hit you in the face!” he growled as he took a step forward. UGH OH.

“And how would YOU know?! HA!”

“Because I WRITE the shit! And I illustrate it too!” I whipped my head up off of Levi’s shoulder and looked at him. Oh. My. God.

“Levi!” I whimpered out his name as he let his secret slip.

“WHAT?!” Isabel’s face went red and she squeezed her water bottle so hard it shot water everywhere. “Y-You what?!”

“I’m a fucking published author dumbass!” Levi growled. He tossed his empty bottle in the trash and gave her an annoyed look. “I draw yaoi manga! Heichou Rivaille is my pen name if you think you can handle it!” he said with a smirk.

“OH. MY. GOD!” She was jumping up and down now. “Why didn’t you tell me before?!” Levi’s mouth dropped open. He looked really annoyed now, and I was a little confused. She went from fighting to excited that quick?

“The hell are you talking about?”

“I can sell your manga in the store!” Levi just shook his head.

“I suggest you read it first, then decide.” I laughed and leaned back against the wall. “How about we leave these crazy people and actually walk home together for once, brat?” Levi said with a smirk.

“Together?” I frowned and looked at him in disbelief. “But we can’t…” he held up the bag and opened it up. The wig was a little bit messy, but he adjusted it to my head just fine before smoothing it out.

“You make a cute Hikaru.” He said with a wink. I felt my face getting hotter still, but Levi paid it no attention as we said out goodnights to everyone and tugged me away with him. I still pulled my hood over my head, just in case.

I held onto his hand as we walked from the dance studio. It was just a little bit further than our normal walk from work, but I really didn’t mind it with Levi, and I can’t say that I wasn’t dragging my feet to enjoy the moonlight with him.

I swung our hands a little as we walked and even took a step closer to him and nearly glued myself to his side.

“You may look different, but your eyes still amaze me.” He said with a grin. “They still look like the ocean.”

“I’ve never been…” I said with a frown. He turned and looked right into my eyes and as he did the moonlight caught his and the way the rays shown, it turned his irises into pure silver.

“We’ll have to go one day then. We’ll take a trip. Maybe South Carolina or something. Hell, even the Keys. The water there is the same color as your eyes, so it seems fitting.” I smiled as he brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it. Everything just seemed right. My heart was at ease in this moment, walking with Levi hand in hand. Making plans for the future. I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do.

“Isn’t it a far drive though? To Florida?”

“17 or 18 hours the last time I checked. That’s without stopping though. Erwin and I thought about it as a spring break trip once, but it fell through.”

“Oh, well that’s pretty far! We’d have to-“ I paused as I heard a can drop in the street and Levi came to a stop. Shit. Not this again! Levi’s hand tensed around mine and he looked around the street.

“Hello? You can stop playing your fucking games already because-“

“Meeooow.”

“Oh…” A little furry head poked up out of the cardboard box at the corner of the alley and blue eyes peeked out at us. A kitten?

“Levi!” I walked over to it and it jumped and ran to hide back under the towel that had been left in the box with it. There obviously wasn’t anyone around. Just a note scribbled on a notecard on the side of the box.

**Free to good home**

“I guess they gave up on trying to give it away and just left it…” Levi said as he peered over into the box.

“Poor thing…it must be cold.” I said as I reach into the box.

“Eren!” Levi caught my hand. “That thing is disgusting!” I frowned and it poked it’s head out again.

“Meooow.”

“Hi little guy.” I tried to pet it’s head, but it ducked back under the blanket cave. I sighed and a cold breeze blew through, bringing the first few snowflakes of the night with it. “What are we gonna do, Levi?” He sighed and I felt him rubbing my back as I leaned over the box.

“Well…we can’t just leave it here, can we? It looks like it’ll freeze to death if we do.” Levi smiled as I turned to look at him. “As long as YOU carry that disgusting box, we can keep it. But let’s try to make it to the pet shop before they close.”

“Really?!” I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a quick kiss. He chuckled into it, but returned it happily.

“Yes, now grab it before we freeze.” I picked up the box and she peeked out from under the towel.

“You’re gonna be okay!” I said happily as I carried the box close. We walked the opposite way from our house actually. The pet store was a good 10 minute walk away, but we made it in time. They actually closed an hour later than we thought.

 

We spent a while in the pet store, gathering cat supplies and we came to the tag machine last. I had the little cat riding around in the cart with us as we shopped.

“We need a tag for the collar, right?” I asked as I held up the purple collar we’d picked out. The lady at the shop at the shop had confirmed the cat was a girl.

“Yeah. We need a name though.” I frowned as I looked at the blue eyes peeking out.

“And I guess Yato won’t work…”

“Even if it was a boy cat, we wouldn’t be naming it after your man-crush!” Levi said as he pushed the buttons on the tag machine.

“Two Levis in the house would get confusing!” I teased.

“Ha Ha, Jaeger. Very funny. How about Kirara?”

“From InyYasha?” I said as I watched him type in our phone numbers and address.

“Yeah. It is.” He looked over at me and I sighed. I couldn’t think of any other names, and Kirara did have a nice ring to it.

“Well little girl, what do you think?” I lifted up the towel to reveal the 8 week old kitten cowering underneath. The blue eyes looked scared and the grey and white fur looked messy and in need of a groom.

“Meoow.”

“I’ll take that as a yes! I like it Levi, it sounds…strong. She needs a strong name after she’s been abandoned like that.”

“Eren…” He patted my head and gave me a smile. “She can learn to be strong also. She’ll be fine now.” I nodded and smiled at the little kitten. Hopefully we could give her the best possible home. I felt similar to the kitten in a way. Abandoned, tossed to the curb. Not nearly strong enough to survive on my own. I also needed Levi to nurture me. He put in the rest of the info and the tag engraved and dropped down. After he dialed a cab, we checked out, and carried our stuff and newly named Kirara outside.

The cab ride was short, and after unloading the car and paying the driver, we were finally home as a new family of three.

“First things first, we are washing this thing.”

“Levi! Don’t call her a thing!” I said as I peeked in the box. Blue eyes blinked at me and I smiled.

“Fine. I won’t.” He picked up one of the bags by the door and walked towards the kitchen. “Bring your kitten, Eren.” He called to me from the sink. I brought the whole box and set it down in the floor beside the sink. “The kitten, not the box babe. We have to wash her.” I frowned and l looked into the box. “Go ahead and get her out. She’s yours.”

“Ours.” I corrected. “She’s ours…right?” I looked to Levi who was watching me look down into the box at the moving towel.

“Of course. I didn’t mean it like that, Eren. Kirara is our kitten. It’s just…new to me.” I nodded and pressed a kiss to Levi’s cheek. This was a big step for us. We had just accepted a new life into our home.

“It’s fine…I’m picking her up now…” I reach down and pulled the towel back, revealing grimy grey and white fur. “She’s so dirty, Levi…”

“We’re going to wash her. It’s going to be fine.”

“W-What if I can’t get her clean enough! What if I can’t get the tangles out?!” I held the small kitten up towards Levi and he looked at both of us wide eyed.

“Calm down, Eren!” The water was running in the sink, but the constant pulse of the water did nothing to calm my nerves. What if I got water up her nose? What if I didn’t dry her well enough? What if- “Eren, step up to the sink.” Little white paws were wiggling as they were fearing the uncertainty of the bath.

“B-But!” Levi sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Listen, we can do this! I’m here.” I felt him gently coax me against the sink and then he was right up against my back, arms wrapping right around me, watching what I was doing. “Just run her gently under the water, that’s it. Watch her face.” His fingers went over her face to block the water just in case and I was thankful. After the fur was finally wet, he opened the shampoo bottle and I lathered her up, once again avoiding her face. I worked carefully on the knots and tangles, as well as the caked on grime in her fur. Hopefully I’d be able to get it out. Eventually, he had me rinse. The white in her fur was actually bright white now! “Just hold her there, Eren.” Levi pulled away to grab a towel and took Kirara from my dripping hands into his towel covered ones. He wrapped her up and pulled her up close to his chest.

“There, nice and warm huh?” He asked with a smile.

“Meoooooow!” Levi grinned and leaned in to press a kiss to my lips. I cleaned up the sink and kitchen quickly, and after setting up the house for Kirara as Levi held her to dry. I held out the last piece. It was her collar, which I’d already fastened the tag on. He freed the top part of her head and neck and I gently fastened the collar on.

“There! Good to go!” Levi smiled and after petting her a couple times, he handed her to me. She was nice and dry now, and really soft. “Wow! So soft!” I gave her small head a few strokes before walking over to her bed beside of Levi’s desk and setting her down. She had food and water out, and her litter tray wasn’t far away. She had everything she needed.

“Meew meeew.” She laid down in her bed and curled up. So cute!

I walked back over to Levi and sat beside of him on the couch.

“So, we are pet parents now, huh?” he said with a grin as he pulled me close.

“Y-Yeah I guess so!” I smiled and leaned up against him.

“Kind of fitting I guess, one big family of outcasts. But hey, we’ll love each other just as much as any other family if not more, right?” I could feel my cheeks getting hot and I buried my face in his chest.

“MHPMH.” I felt his laugh vibrate through his chest and his hands were in my hair, gently stroking.

“You’re so cute, Eren.” I buried my face deeper and twisted my body a little. His arms moved and he pulled me on top of him, holding me close. I could hear his heartbeat, calm and steady. I stayed silent, just listening to his heart beat soothingly. The constant pattern just worked wonders to soothe my nerves, and I’m not sure how long we sat there for, curled up in the silence. Every now and again his hands would travel around, finding a hair on my head with a split end to pick at or a piece of lint on my shirt to remove. The only other sound in the room was the soft purr of Kirara sleeping in her bed.

My thoughts drifted around in my head, but they strayed pretty far from the usual ones. They were lighter this evening somehow. They were filled with thoughts of Levi. I wonder how our performance was going to go? I didn’t really have many doubts about my Tamaki cosplay, because I had been running my lines and actions through in my head. I could put on a smile and push through for Tamaki. But as a Hitachiin twin? Their personalities were completely different, and to be doing those things in front of a crowd with Levi was going to be pretty embarrassing. I sighed against his chest and readjusted a little, still letting his heartbeat reassure me.

What about college? Where was I even going to go? I had thought about Trost, but now I wasn’t so sure. It seemed like Levi wanted to start fresh somewhere else, and right now…that didn’t seem like such a bad idea. My heart ached with the thought of leaving everyone, but a new life just seemed so…refreshing? At least a break from this current one to discover what was out there was something to think about. I know for sure I want to study art…but where? His fingers tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and I smiled into his chest. So gentle. He could take me wherever he wanted really, and I think I’d adjust just fine with his guidance.

“Eren, you alright?” I tilted my head up and gave him a smile.

“Yeah…just, content. I’m calm like this.” He smiled back and stretched a little.

“Well we can stay like this for as long as you like then. Can I just grab a blanket and get a little more comfortable?” I nodded and pulled myself up. We had been sitting like this for a while, and I’m sure his muscles were starting to ache from sitting in that position for so long. He grabbed our blankets out of the closet, and carried them over to the couch. I stood for a minute and let him let him lay down, and I gently laid down on top of him, with my head to his chest. The couch was just big enough to cradle us together just right. Blankets were thrown over my back and snuggled up closer to him. Warm, content, and listening to that ever lulling thrum of his heartbeat. His fingers were gliding through my hair gently and I could feel my own heart throbbing against him.

Was this what it was like? To have a normal moment in life? No tears no hurt. Just being content together, enjoying each other’s touch and warmth. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

I tried to imagine myself without him, and it made my heart ache. Levi gave my hollow life importance. He filled it up with meaning and gave me a reason to…he gave me a reason to keep going. I’m not sure how far I would have made it without him. I pushed those thoughts away and just focused on the here and now. His hands gently running against me, his gentle kisses to my head every now and again. The _thrum, thrum, thrum_ , of his heart.

I yawned and pulled myself closer against him, closing my eyes. His heartbeat was slowing. I could hear the miniscule difference after listening to the pattern for so long. Was he asleep? I never found out, because my own sleep gently tugged me down into a peaceful slumber.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A follow up appointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 6:30 AM, and I'm up editing this. I haven't been to sleep yet. O.O Love me. Ha <3
> 
> Comments as usual are loved and fuel my writing fire :D 
> 
> *Posts chapter and passes out holding laptop* Sweet Sweet Dreams of Ereri <3

Eren’s POV

_Thrum, thrum, thrum, thrum, thrum…_

“Eren, Eren, wake up.” I groaned and cracked my eyes open. Woah. I was on top of Levi? Oh that’s right, we were on the couch last night. Did we doze off? “It’s time to get up for school.” I sighed and tried to snuggle back up. Surely those words didn’t just come out of his mouth. He pulled the blanket back a little to wake me up. “Come on, up.”

“Nngph…”

“Are you a dinosaur? I’ll make you caramel coffee. Don’t you want one?” I tilted my head up again. All I wanted was more Levi and more sleep. That’s all.

“Meehhhh. Yeah. I guess so…” I rubbed at my eyes and blinked a few times.

“Well go ahead and get up, get ready for school and I’ll make breakfast for you.” I nodded and rolled to my feet.

“Meeeeeeow.” Oh yeah. I looked over to Kirara who had ducked back into her bed for hiding. She was still scared of us I guess. I stood up and made my way upstairs, Levi following closely behind. I went about my morning activities quickly, and hopped in the shower so I wouldn’t keep him waiting. I could see him changing through the curtain. He must’ve felt gross in yesterday’s clothes. I watched his silhouette brush his teeth and walk towards the curtain.

“I’ll be downstairs.”

“Okay, be down in a few.” I heard his footsteps fall away and I hurried with the rest of my routine, throwing on pretty much the first thing in my dresser. Levi was waiting for me at the island with a steaming cup of coffee and plate with toast and jelly and an egg. “Thanks for breakfast!” I grabbed my coffee and began to down it. The sweet caramel tasted just right.

“No problem.” He sat down with me and bit into his own piece of toast with jelly.

“So what are your plans for today? Class right?” I asked as I cut into my egg.

“Actually no. My professor has the flu. I just got the email a few minutes ago. I guess I’ll write out our scripts. Anything in particular you want or don’t want?” I nearly choked on my egg as I looked at him.

“U-Ugh…nothing too…heavy?” I felt my face turning red. “Not any…ugh-“

“You are easily embarrassed, Jaeger.” He said as he took a bite.

“I know! I can’t help it! It’s still pretty new to me after all!” he chuckled and smiled at me.

“So closed mouth kisses is what you are trying to say?” I felt my face lighting up. “Even though, I don’t actually remember seeing the twins kiss…I’ll come up with something. I’ll let you read over it. If you feel uncomfortable, just let me know and I’ll change it. Okay?”

“Y-Yeah.” I finished up my toast and sipped the rest of my coffee. He reach across and gently stroked my hand.

“Promise? I don’t want to pressure you into anything. I could give two shits less if it makes Isabel happy. I want YOU to be happy, Eren.”

“I promise. I’ll give you my opinion.” I smiled at him and downed the rest of my coffee. “I’ve got to head out now.” He stood up and walked me to the door. I slung my bag over my shoulder after I slid on my hoodie and put my shoes on. He smiled at me and leaned up for a kiss, which I gladly gave. He clung to me for a few more long seconds, but I eventually had to pull away.

“I’ll see you at the psychiatrist today, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll be there. Oh, and also we have a class tonight. I know it’s last minute, but I signed us up and completely forgot about it.

“A class?”

“Yeah, it’s our first self-defense class together. It’s at 7:30, so we have plenty of time in the studio to work on things after our appointment. Erwin said he’d come by and pick us up, so we wouldn’t have to worry about walking.”

“Will Kirara be okay here?” We heard the distant jingle of a bell and Levi smiled.

“She’ll be fine, Eren. I promise.” One more kiss and I was out the door. I was a little concerned about my busy day ahead, but I got to spend most of it with Levi, so I guess that was alright.

The first half of school passed alright, as boring as usual. I sat with Jean at lunch as I waited for Mikasa and Armin to arrive.

“Hey Jean!” I sat my tray down and frowned at the mush they called food.

“Hey…” He looked pretty tired. He usually was wide awake and talkative.

“You alright? You look worn out?”

“Yeah…I just…I was up last night thinking about some stuff.” Oh I know how that went. Thought to thought leaping around in your head until your alarm was screaming in your ear.

“Anything in particular?” He frowned and turned to me.

“Eren…how…how did you know Levi was…” he sighed and ran his hands over his face. “How did you know that you had feelings for Levi?” Oh, so this was a relationship issue? I wasn’t particularly skilled, but I’d try to help.

“Well…I kept getting these, I know it sound crazy, but butterflies when I thought about him? I was attracted at first, that was the first thing, then he kept taking care of me…and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I had it bad.” I smiled as I thought back to my original crush on Levi.

“Shit…”

“Do you like someone, Jean?”

“Well…evidentially, yeah.” He sighed and cut into what our state considered Salisbury steak. “I guess I’ll just have to figure out the rest now.”

“Hey guys!” Mikasa was beaming. “Guess WHAT?!” Armin sat down next to her. Both of their trays had similar mush. Maybe I was just getting spoiled by Levi’s cooking.

“What?” Jean said as he sipped his milk. Who decided chocolate milk went with EVERYTHING as a balanced diet anyway?

“Armin just gave me the best late birthday present!” She pushed tickets across the table at us and I caught a glimpse of the scrolling letters.

“I’m sorry it was late, Mikasa!” he groaned.

“It’s FINE! We are going together! I get to see my baby brother in cosplay!” My eyes went wide as I really looked at the letters on the tickets. Oh. My. God. I read the bold print on the tickets.

**_Anteiku Presents_ **

**_Ouran High School Host Club_ **

**_Cosplay Dinner_ **

**_Featuring our beloved hosts Tamaki, Haruhi, Honey, Mori, Kyoya, and the Hitachiin twins!_ **

**_Special events include: Cake sampling with Honey_ **

**_Special ballroom dancing event_ **

**_Come and join us for an evening of pampering, socializing, and cosplay!_ **

****

I felt my face turning red.

“M-Mikasa?! You are going?!”

“Yeah! Armin bought tickets for me. He’s going as well. We both loved Ouran after all!” H-Had I turned my sister into an otaku?! Surely not?! “And I found these!” She reach into her backpack and threw a stack of manga onto the table. Holy shit…it’s happening. It’s really happening. “Well I went ahead and ordered the first volumes of the Ouran manga, because I found them used and pretty cheap! And then I went on that crunchyroll thing and I couldn’t decide what to watch next so….” Was this what I really sounded like? I felt Jean push my bottom jaw up as I stared at my sister. Crunchyroll thing? I blinked a couple times. She had ‘sort of’ successfully used the words cosplay, manga, and crunchyroll. I was in shock.

“Eren, Eren. Are you listening?” I nodded as I watched her push the stack towards me. “So I couldn’t decide what to watch next, so I just pulled up the list of shows in alphabetical order and found one called Attack on Titan! Eren, have you seen it?!” My heart almost jumped out of my chest.

“Y-YES! It’s one of my favorites!” I nearly jumped across the table and the nearby people turned to look at us. Jean snickered and pulled me down to my seat.

“It’s pretty good.” Jean admitted.

“You’ve watched it too?!” I asked as I shot Jean a look.

“Calm down Jaeger. Jeez. I’ve seen up to like, I don’t know, episode 15?”

“You have to catch up, Jean!” Mikasa squealed as she kicked her feet. He sighed and shook his head. “And Eren, you look just like the main character! I swear!” I laughed as I sorted through the pile of manga in front of me. Holy shit!

“You’ve got the first two volumes of Shingeki?”

“Yeah! Do you want to borrow them? I found them on ebay for $5!!.”

“Sure!” Mikasa, the ebay queen… We parted ways after lunch, and the only thing I kept thinking about throughout the rest of the school day was how awkward it was going to be to pull off a Hitachiin twin scene in front of my sister with my boyfriend she’s only met in person once.

I sighed and let my face fall into my hands during art class, smudging pastel over my cheek.

“Why so blue, Eren?” Ms. Stallis pulled a stool out beside me and leaned up on her elbows, mimicking my pose. I sighed and pushed my drawing away.

“I’m sort of…dealing with some things?”

“Relationship troubles?” she said with a grin.

“Not really…he’s great. I just-“ SHIT. I heard a few kids in the class snicker and I frowned. “I-I ugh…I didn’t mean…ugh…”

“I don’t think that matters, go ahead with what you were saying.” She shot the kids a glare and turned back to me.

“Well… my sister has only really met…him…once…” More snickers and I sighed again. I couldn’t even have a damn conversation without people teasing me at this fucking school. DONE. I’m done. I stood up and let the legs of the stool scrape against the tile floor. I walked directly over to the edge of the table and there sat no other than Connie fucking Springer. The one that had started this whole mess. How he ended up in AP art, I’d never know.

“Listen, if you’ve got something to say, then say it to my face! I’m tired of this bullshit! I’m tired of the rumors! Seriously, grow up!”

“Language Eren!” Ms. Stallis warned from the table she was previously sharing with me.

“I’m trying to be happy, Connie. And screw you for trying to ruin that for me. Who cares if it’s a guy, I’m dating. If he loves me, that’s all that matter. Big deal. I’m gay! Got it! I have a boyfriend that cares a hell of a lot more about me than anyone at this God forsaken school. So stop with the freakin’ rumors and shut your freakin’ mouth! ” Connie looked almost terrified as I laid into him with my words, and to be honest, I towered over the kid. I could probably tear him apart if I wanted to, but I wouldn’t sink to their level.

“Y-Yeah…” He said with a nod and turned away from me. I felt a shoulder on my hand and Ms. Stallis was giving me a gentle smile.

“So shall we continue the conversation then, Eren?” Really? Like nothing had happened? My face was red, and I could feel the wax on my cheeks from the pastels, but I nodded.

“Sure.” She guided me back to the table and sat with me again.

“You were saying?”

“Well...” My heart was beating fast and I tried to take a few calming breaths. That’s all I needed right now was a panic attack after I’d just told him off. I felt the oxygen seeping back into my lungs. “Well…she has only ever met him once…and it wasn’t under great circumstances.” Ms. Stallis frowned at me.

“What do you mean?” Shit… I had to word this just right or everything could go to hell.

“Well, I had a fight with Dad. We never really got along after Mom passed away last year…” She gave me a knowing smile and nodded. “Well, it was sort of the last straw I guess? Everything went to hell, and I had to leave home that night. That was the only night she met him. Now…” I groaned and pushed my face into my hands again.

“And now?”

“Have you ever heard of Ouran High School Host Club?” I tried, but I seriously doubted.

“Can’t say I have.” I sighed and pull out my sketchbook to start doodling as we talked absentmindedly.

“Well do you know what cosplay is?”

“Yeah, that’s where you dress up like characters right?”

“Yeah…well me and my boyfriend…” I waited for the snickers, but they never came. Maybe I had finally shut them up. For a while at least. “We have to play out a scene as these two, for work.” I pulled up the Hitachiin twins on my phone and played the short clip. I felt my face turning red, but I knew she’d understand. “We word at Anteiku. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it?”

“Yes I have! The little Japanese themed coffee shop down by the college?”

“Yeah, well we are having a cosplay café on Saturday, and Mikasa got tickets, because Ouran is one of her favorite shows.”

“Ooooh. I see. So you don’t want her only impressions of him being the first meeting and that.” She pointed to my phone. I nodded and brushed my hair back, successfully smearing blue through it.

“Exactly.”

“So the dinner is tomorrow then?” I cringed and nodded. I forgot today was Friday. “Well maybe you can grab a quick dinner or something at least today, or an early breakfast tomorrow? It may not be much, but it could help the way she sees him.” I brought my face up from my hands and nodded.

“That’s a really great idea actually. Thanks.”

“No problem! Anytime at all Eren. And by the way, you have purple everywhere!” she said with a giggle as she got up to float around the room again. I pulled up my phone and texted Levi quickly.

**To Levi: So, I’m kind of freaking out. Armin bought Mikasa tickets to the Host Club dinner. Is there anyway we can make dinner for them tonight, and actually have you guys meet? I don’t want her second impression of you to be a yaoi scene with me. GAH. I’m terrified.**

I brought my drawing back down and began working on it again, filling in the spaces with purples and blues. The cool colors were so calming. I got a buzz back.

**Levi: Can you bring her (and Armin if he’s coming) to the appointment? We can skip tutoring and just go straight to the house and make dinner. It sounds pretty important.**

Levi, my prince. I almost let out a sob.

**To Levi: I just have to text her and make sure, but I think I remember her saying she was off today. Thank yooooou! You have no idea.**

**To Mikasa: Meet me after school if you can.**

I sent the same text to Armin and I went back to my drawing. The only sound in the room was the soothing echoes of the radio and my pastels scraping across the paper. My phone buzzed again and I picked it up as everyone began cleaning up their areas.

**Levi: No problem. I just text Hanji, so we are good to go. If it’s important to you, then it’s important to me. We just have to be at the class tonight at 7:30. Hopefully, it’ll give us enough time. I have a surprise for you also. ;) I’ll see you soon. Be careful.**

**Mikasa: I’ll be out front with Armin.**

I began cleaning up my table and stuffed everything in my drawer. What if they said no? That they didn’t want to meet Levi. I washed my hands and slung my bag over my shoulder as the bell rang.

“Good luck, Eren! Have a nice weekend!” Ms. Stallis called from her desk.

“Thanks! You too.”

 

I walked the little trip to the front of the building to find Armin and Mikasa waiting for me. She looked happy as she leaned against the wall, reading a manga. What have I done to her?

“So, I have a question for you guys…” she closed the book and stood up.

“Shoot.” I blinked and smiled.

“Well, I was thinking maybe if you wanted to, you could come and eat dinner with me and Levi after our appointment. I know you probably have better things to do then sit around in a psychiatrist’s office, but…”

“SURE!” She pulled me into a hug and Armin chuckled.

“Eren, do you know how long it’s been since we’ve had dinner together?! Of course I want to. Armin?” The blonde smiled and nodded.

“Yeah! Sounds good to me.”

“Awesome! We’ll our appointment is in 20 minutes, so we should head that way.” We walked together towards the psychiatrist’s office, and I felt a tug at my heart. When was the last time we’d walked together like this, chatting about nothing really? I had felt like they were both pulling away from me, so isolated all because…all because of…I stifled back my tears and I felt Mikasa grab my hand and tug me close to her. She was smiling, although I could barely see the corners of her mouth pulled up from behind her scarf. He hand felt warm, and a little boney compared to Levi’s. Feminine. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d held hands. I glanced over and Armin was laughing at his story. I was just giving him a grin. I had totally zoned out in the middle, but evidentially so had Mikasa.

“So, So I told him…HA…I can get that book online for ten dollars new! And you are trying to sell it to me for twenty! Hahaha.” Armin could barely breathe he was laughing so hard. Wow, my friend really was a nerd. I wonder how well he’d get along with Hanji?

“That’s great Armin.” I grinned and stopped in front of the office. They both stopped behind me and followed me into the office. Luckily, it was another slow day. Most people preferred their appointments Monday through Thursday, and for that exact reason, we chose Friday. Levi was sitting in the furthest chair in the corner with his legs crossed as elegantly as ever, flipping through his phone. He was wearing mostly black today as usual. His long coat was touching the sides of the chair, and nearly touching the floor. I smiled at him and caught a glimpse of something shiny in his hair. Was that silver? I walked over to him and leaned over to look.

“You got a new one?!” He grinned and pulled his hair back to let me see the hoop around the top of his ear.

“Well…a couple actually.” He smirked and turned his head. WOAH. I took a step back to look at the bar running through his ear. He frowned as he looked at my expression. “Don’t like it?”

“I-It’s just, different!” I leaned a little closer to look at the industrial piercing. Man, that had to have hurt. “It’ll take me a little while to get used to seeing you with it. But I do like it.” I smiled and stared a little longer. His ear was noticeably red. No doubt from the metal shoved through it.

“Get any closer, Eren and I may have to greet you properly. You didn’t even say hi.” He whispered with a chuckle. I pulled back and rubbed at the back of my head.

“S-sorry. I saw something shiny and-“

“That’s just like you to get distracted by something shiny, Eren!” Armin joked as he took the third seat over. Mikasa was staying silent through our whole conversation.

“So this was the surprise?” I said with a smile as I stared at the small hoop. That one was definitely easier to get used to.

“Yeah. It was sort of a spur of the moment thing. I was writing, then I got frustrated…”

“So you decided to go out and get a needle shoved through your ear?” Mikasa filled in from the fourth seat down. Ugh oh. Please. Don’t. Fight.

To my surprise Levi let out a small chuckle and let his hair fall back down into place, away from the new piercings. “Yeah, actually. Sounds stupid, right? I don’t deal with stress well.” I looked at the other two piercings in his ears and frowned. Did those have a story as well?

“Levi, Eren. Doctor Zacharius is ready for you!” We stood up and followed the nurse back, leaving Mikasa and Armin in the waiting room for us.

I sat on the couch with Levi as usual and looked over at his ear. Dr. Zacharius wasn’t in the room yet, so I figured it was okay to ask.

“Levi…can I ask a question?” I took his hand in mine, not wanting to upset him, but feeling curious at the same time.

“Anytime. What’s up?”

“Why did you get the other piercings? Do they have a story or…” He gave me a soft smile and squeezed my hand.

“Well…the bottom two, were my first ones. I got them as soon as I moved here. I was pissed that I had to leave. Pissed at the whole situation, so that’s why I have those.” I nodded and looked closer at his ear. He let out a sigh as he pointed to the second set of holes in his ears. The ones right above his bottom piercings. “These, I got right after Nana passed…I actually…well…I felt like I was hurting so bad. I just wanted to hurt. I felt like I deserved it…I don’t know…” His eyes met mine and he swallowed hard. I gave his hand a squeeze. Did he feel like that today? I frowned as I looked at the new piercings.

“D-Do you feel like that right now?” I asked as I leaned a little closer. He sighed and wrapped his other hand over the top of mine as well. Right in the wrong moment, Dr. Zacharius walked in.

“Did you start without me? This looks pretty important. Go on.” Levi cursed under his breath and grey eyes returned to mine.

“Well…I…I was having trouble writing. After you left this morning, I felt off. Like a weight was on me. I started slipping down into a low and just couldn’t stop. I kept trying to write the scenes, but they just wouldn’t come easily. I couldn’t think of what would and wouldn’t make you uncomfortable. I just got so frustrated…”

I frowned and my glance shot back to his ear.

“So I took a break. I started sketching a little, and then I went through some of my books and saw a few characters with piercings and…I thought they looked good. But I also thought it might help relieve the tension…”

“Levi…why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like that?”

“You were at school. I didn’t want to cause you problems in class. You have enough trouble in math as it is…” He reach up and brushed my hair out of the way. “Well I went and had it done. The pain did help for a little while…it helped me relieve the stress and finish writing the scenes, but it all came right back.” I could actually see the tension in his shoulders now. I frowned again and held his hand tighter.

“But you are important to me also!” I was pleading with him. Why? Why wouldn’t he just tell me when he was hurting? He let me fall on him all the time, nearly every single day, and when it’s his time he usually just stays and curls up beside me. He gets trapped inside himself and just can’t. “You can rely on me too, you know…” I whispered. “I may not look it, but I can be there for you. Just trust me Levi.”

He put his face in his hand, still gripping on tight to one of my own and fell silent. He looked like he was about to break, but I really couldn’t tell.

“Levi, you should answer Eren’s question.” Dr. Zacharius intervened. I heard a choked laugh and he looked up at me with watery eyes, trying to keep his tears and frustration back.

“I-I don’t want to drag you down with me Eren.” His hand went out to lightly touch my jaw and cheek. “You’re doing so well, and if you see me like this, I’m just so afraid you’ll fall back down. Just fall so low…” His face fell to his hand again and I drew closer.

“You’re not going to drag me down, Levi! I’m here today because of you! I want to support you too! I love you, and that means being there for you through everything right?” Another choked sob. “I’m not going to sit here and watch you be miserable alone. You need to tell me what’s bothering you from now on!” Another shattered look. He was curled against my side, nearly broken, but still only a tear or two escaping. I could wipe away the tears he’s cried since we started this relationship with a couple of tissues. He’d only had one breakdown, and here I was crying like a baby every day.

“A-Alright…you win…Just please…please Eren…” his fingers were twisting in my shirt now. “Please…don’t leave me. I’ve held back because I just…my emotions are just…” Another cough and I tried to sit him up against my side. “They are crazy. They flip so suddenly sometimes, so I just try to push them down.” Maybe that explained the stoic expression he constantly tried to keep. The silence he insisted on when he felt the doom looming over him. My fingers found his hair and I yanked him hard against me.

“That’s insane, Levi. You know how I feel about you. You are the reason I keep fighting in this fucking world.” He squeezed his eyes shut and a few more tears leaked passed his eyelids, streaking eyeliner with it. “No matter what you are feeling, I’ll be there.” He nodded against my chest and a shaky breath escaped him.

“I just, feel so low sometimes. I was thinking about Nana today. I couldn’t get her out of my head. I tried to, but I just couldn’t. Then it made me think of my parents, so I just, fuck…I just sunk lower. That’s why…that’s why all this…” I tried to knead the muscle of his shoulder, but no amount of pressure I put on them from this angle was going to soften them. That’d have to wait until later. Until he was a little calmer. “B-But you make me feel a lot better, Eren. You really do, and it’s so fucking hard not being able to touch you. To hold your hand or walk you home or any of that. I want my boyfriend back!” He yelled it against my chest and it made tears sting at my own eyes. Holy shit. Levi was about to go off. I could feel the tension in the room rising and the muscle in his shoulder harden even more.

“So what are you doing to handle that situation?” Dr. Zacharius asked as he leaned back in his chair. He was encouraging him? He was fucking encouraging Levi to go off. I leaned back a little and Levi looked up.

“Nothing! We can’t do a single fucking thing! We can’t even be seen in public because of assholes at Eren’s school that want to hurt him where I can’t protect him!” He was yelling it nearly at the top of his lungs and his face was red. He was pissed and his anger made me a little uneasy, but I knew Levi. I knew he’d never direct it towards me. I was safe. Even right next to the man that was shouting his feelings to the heavens, I was as safe as could be. Levi was my protector.

“They fucking corner HIM against the lockers, beat the shit out of him, and HE gets suspended for it?! What kind of bullshit is that?! Just a bunch of homophobes! That whole school, this whole fucking town. It’s only a few weeks left until his birthday, and we can do those things again without any risk, but I just….God! It’s just not fair! We shouldn’t have to fucking suffer because we fell in love.” His face was nearly in my lap now, and he was prying his hands out mine, scratching at the skin on his hands. “Fucking filthy people. They don’t even know what real love is.” I tried to grab his hand, but he pulled away.

“Levi, stop scratching. I know you’re nervous, but I don’t want blood in my office.” Dr. Zacharius warned. “Hold Eren’s hand. Look, he’s reaching for you. He wants to help.” Levi’s watery eyes turned to me again, practically desperate for I’m not sure what. Like he just wanted to get up and run away right then. I completely understood. I wanted to show my affection as well, to have a somewhat normal relationship, but it seemed like the community around us didn’t want that.

“Eren, I know you’ve mentioned that medical bill before, but maybe you two should consider a trip away. I think it could definitely do you both some good, even if it’s just a weekend. Levi is stressed to the max, and I think that you deserve one as well. He clung to my hands and wiped at his face with the tissues on the table.

“V-Vacation. Isabel said we have it now, remember?” I looked to him and nodded. It was definitely do-able. And spring break started in a week after all. It conveniently lined up with Trost’s spring break. “Disappear for a while.” Levi nodded as if talking to himself and me at the same time.

“Okay, well…I guess that covers Levi for today. He seems pretty worn out. Eren, let’s talk about you. How are things? Anything new?”

“Well…thunder storms aren’t that great for me, but Levi helped me through that.” I squeezed his hand tight and gave him a smile. “I guess it reminded me of my Mom’s death and everything. And the day Dad started…” I trailed off and Levi looked up at me with sad eyes.

“So how’d you handle it?” A blush crept over my cheeks as I looked to Levi.

“H-He held onto me. I just…feel safe with him.” I felt cheesy saying it to a near stranger, but it was the honest truth.

“I see, so no panic attacks that day then?”

“N-Not a bad one at least, he stopped them for the most part. I was scared, but he really helped.” Dr. Zacharius smiled.

“That’s great Eren, that’s a huge accomplishment. You should be proud of yourself. I’m sure Levi is proud too.” I looked to him and he swallowed.

“I am Eren. You’ve been doing great.” A grin appeared on my face that I just couldn’t get rid of and I nodded.

“So anything else? Any other issues or accomplishments?” My mind flashed back to art class today and I blushed. I hadn’t exactly told Levi about that yet.

“I ugh…I yelled at one of the guys that’s been bothering me at school. They were whispering behind my back and I just got tired of it…” Levi turned to me, eyes wide.

“What?!”

“I stood up to them. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I told them if they had anything to say, to say it to my face. I told him to go screw himself if he wanted to ruin my happiness just because I was in love with a guy. I told him big deal if I was gay, all that mattered was that I had someone that cared about me….” Levi’s mouth was hanging open and I heard a chuckle from Dr. Zacharius.

“Who was it?”

“Connie Springer.” Levi managed a smile and pulled me into a hug.

“Fuck Eren.” He said it into my neck so it was a bit muffled. “You finally stood up to those assholes. You have no idea how happy I am. I’m so fucking proud of you. You are getting stronger every day.” I ran my fingers through his hair and smiled as his cologne drifted around me. In here we could touch. In here everything was confidential.

We heard a beeping and looked over to see Dr. Zacharius switch the timer off.

“Guess that’s it for today. Eren that was a really good thing by the way. You have really made some huge improvements this week. Levi, I think we are going to try and up your medication a little.” He nodded as he pulled away from me. The doctor handed him a slip of paper that he slid into his jacket pocket as he stood up on shaky legs. We walked out into the waiting room and Levi frowned. I’m sure he didn’t want them to see his eyeliner streaked face, so I held up my hand and tugged him into the bathroom to gently clean his face like he had mine before.

“Thanks…” I smiled and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips.

“You’re welcome. Anything else while we in here?” He smirked and turned to the mirror to try and smudge his eyeliner back into place.

“Very funny Jaeger. No. Not here.” I wrapped my arms around him from behind and leaned my head against his shoulder.

“Darn.” He snorted and wiped his face a few more times with the wet paper towel.

“Erwin should be outside. Let’s head home. Let’s just order in for your friends if that’s okay? I don’t really feel up to cooking…” He turned in my arms and dropped his head against my chest.

“That’s fine.” I rubbed his back for a second and he sighed.

“Let’s head out then.” I followed him out of the bathroom and smiled at Mikasa and Armin.

“Let’s go guys.” They stood up and followed us out to Erwin’s car. Levi sat up front with Levi and the three up us piled in the back.

“Thanks for picking us up, I owe you.”

“No problem! You should consider getting some wheels though, Levi. Not that I mind taking you around everywhere, but…” He patted him on the back and smiled. “It’s not just you anymore.”

Erwin dropped us off at the house and Levi unlocked the door, letting everyone inside. We all kicked off our shoes and headed for the couch. I sat beside of him and he leaned against me. He still looked a little gloomy, but maybe he was up for some conversation. Mikasa took the chair and Armin took the end of the couch.

“So how are things, Eren?” I smiled and curled my fingers up in his hair without thinking.

“Okay I guess. I told off Connie Springer today. I’m sure you’ll hear about it tomorrow.” Levi snorted and smiled a little. Maybe his low was going away after he’d released some tension by yelling. I looked at the table and there was a pile of mail sitting on it.

“You didn’t look at it?” He shrugged and reach for it.

“No, I wasn’t exactly in the best of moods earlier, so I just threw it down.” I watched him thumb through the mail. “Eren, why don’t you order the food? I’m sure your friends are hungry.”

“What sounds good?”

“Anything. I’m starving.” We decided on pizza and after I put in the order on my phone, I saw Levi had a few letters torn open. Bank statement, bill, my eyes fell to the letter in his hands. June Manga. His eyes were skimming over the letter.

“L-Levi?”

“I’ve got another book signing.” My heart dropped. This wasn’t happening.

 

 

 

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren take their first self defense class together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I used this video as a reference. Also, keep in mind, I research A LOT as I go, so if details aren't perfect, feel free to comment and I'll edit. :P I can only go into so much research for each chapter. Ha. Aka for the martial arts rankings. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrZieC3ysyk  
> Go give it a watch! It's got some helpful self-defense tips!

Eren’s POV

“L-Leaving?! You’re going away again?” My hand grabbed his and began to tremble. This wasn’t happening. We’d made such a break through today and this, this wasn’t fair!

He turned to me and dumped all of the mail he had onto the couch beside of him. I could hear Mikasa’s voice, but I was drowning out what she was saying. No. No NO NO.

“Eren. Calm down.” Before I knew what was happening, I felt his fingers on the back on my head, guiding it down onto his shoulder. No. Couldn’t leave. I wouldn’t let him go this time… I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat, around the tightness in my chest, the quaking in my legs. “You can go with me this time, if you want to.” I squeezed my eyes shut against his shoulder and my hand caught in his shirt.

“S-School?”

“It’s during break. It’ll be fine. We can take that vacation.” I sighed against him and jumped as we heard a knock on the door. Shit. I felt Levi move a little as he pulled his wallet out, and handed some cash to Armin. “I think we both need to get away for a while, babe.” I nodded violently against him and looked up, the air slowly leaking back into my lungs.

“Meeeeeeeeeow.” Kirara peeked around the corner for a second and dashed away.

“You have a cat, Eren?” Mikasa asked as she looked at the small kitten. She walked right up to us sitting on the couch and twitched her tail.

“Yeah. Sorry forgot to mention it.” I still felt shaky, but I was stronger now as Levi had mentioned. I took a couple of breaths and tried to repeat in my mind. Levi was staying with me. I wasn’t going to be alone.

“I’m going to feed her, can you grab some plates and cups, Eren.” I stood with Levi and followed him into the kitchen. He filled her bowl up with a can of wet food and she ran over to eat it.

“Meeew.” I washed my hands and Levi did the same beside of me.

“You alright now? That was almost bad.” He said as he scrubbed under his nails. I mimicked his motions and scrubbed everywhere I could think.

“Y-Yeah, I was just scared. I don’t mean to…I mean…I feel like I’m holding you back.” I frowned as I looked to him and he gave me a half-smile.

“Eren. You aren’t holding me back. If anything, you are pushing me forward. Pushing me harder to succeed. I don’t want to succeed in a life without you in it. Got it?” I nodded and began rinsing the suds off of my hands. We dried our hands together and he looked over to Armin and Mikasa who were in the middle of a heated conversation about something. “You are my number one priority, you know.” He looped an arm around my middle and pulled me up to him. I felt my cheeks go hot as he leaned up to press a kiss to my lips. My eyes popped open and I looked over to my sister who was still chatting with Armin, and I pulled away a little, slightly embarrassed. I took a step back and he leaned forward to kiss me again. AGH, what if she sees?! My elbow knocked against the teapot on the counter and it fell to the floor. Levi drew back with a confused look. I was horrified. Mikasa and Armin were staring now, and he was practically holding me still by my shirt.

“HA, I ugh-UGH I’ll get it!” I ducked down and grabbed the metal teapot and Levi began getting the plates.

“Eren, why are you clumsy all of a sudden? Did I shake up your nerves that much?” he was grinning and I swear my face was turning purple. That arm returned around me and I whimpered.

“J-Just embarrassed…” I admitted as I stroked the edge of one of the spotless plates.

“Why? Because of your sister?” He said so low, that only I could hear. I nodded and he rubbed up the center of my back.

“Well, things are going to have to change, because this is MY territory. I only get to lay my hands on you during certain times of the day, so they’ll just have to get used to that.”

“Leviiii.” I groaned and turned to face him. He was smirking at me and pressed a kiss to my forehead instead of my lips.

“Go run those plates in there. I’ll just bring the 12 pack of soda in. It’s easier.” I nodded and wiggled free from his arms. He followed and plopped the case of soda down in the floor. “Dig in. Feel free to wash your hands.” He shrugged and stole the first slice of cheese pizza.

Armin and Mikasa both stood up and walked to the kitchen to wash their hands. I was nibbling on my own slice when they returned.

“Eren, try this.” Levi dunked the end of his pizza in the garlic butter that came with the pizza and shoved it at my mouth. I chomped at the end, but somehow still managed to get it on my chin. Levi ran his thumb over the sauce on my chin and licked it. Needless to say I went red again. “How is it?”

“G-Good. I like it!” He smirked again and bit into his own slice.

“You guys are really cute!” Armin said out of nowhere. I nearly spit my soda all over Levi, but managed to keep it in. “Just the way you act. It’s sweet!” Levi smiled and I struggled to breath after inhaling the fizzy drink.

“But…” Mikasa added. “I still don’t want to see my brother getting his faced sucked on by an older man.”

“Hey!” Levi growled but I tugged at his shirt.

“Please, get along guys! Mikasa, Levi is my boyfriend okay? And you know the situation. We only get to touch each other here at the house, so it kind of…”

“Builds up.” Levi added as he grabbed another slice of pizza. “Imagine having a cake in the refrigerator and not being able to eat it for 3 days. Yeah. Like that.”

“Levi!” My face went red and he chuckled and leaned against me.

“What? It’s true!” Mikasa’s eyes were wide.

“DON’T want to hear that!” Mikasa covered her ears started humming to herself. Armin was snickering.

“Levi, please try to get along. It’s my sister.” I sighed and stared at him.

“Fine, pull your hands away. Listen to what I have to say.” He wiped his mouth and set his plate aside. Armin pulled her hands away and she peered over at Levi and me. “I know I may say some crude things, and I’m sorry if I haven’t made a good impression on you, but I do care for you brother.” She frowned a bit and crossed her arms. “I can’t picture my life without him, so it’s hard when we are together and I can’t show him how much I care. Do you understand?” She nodded and her expression softened.

“He seems to be doing a lot better here. So you must doing something right…” she admitted. Levi smiled and took my hand in his.

“I’m really trying my best for him.”

“He’s amazing Mikasa, really.” I couldn’t get rid of the tinge of red that remained on my cheeks or the cheesy smile across my face. “He really does pick me up when I’m down. I don’t feel right without him.” She gave me a smile and sat her pizza aside to stand. I could see tears in her eyes, and as she slowly walked closer, they spilled over the edges.

“E-Eren.” She pulled me into a hug against her, and I could hear the hurt in her voice. “I’m so sorry. You have no idea…I just…I feel so guilty. I tried to help, but I couldn’t do anything. I was helpless against him, Eren. And Levi was the only one that could help you, and it hurts. It really fucking hurts, okay? So…so maybe that’s why?” She leaned over and cried on my shoulder and my face was pressed into the red scarf around her neck. I felt Levi shift on the couch and pull her down to sit next to me.

“Mikasa, there wasn’t anything you could do…” Shit…this was too hard. Too fucking hard. I felt tears burning at my eyes, and I tried to choke back a sob, but the tears immediately started flowing as the memories came rushing back, at the sounds of her breaking down on my shoulder. “I didn’t want you to get hurt. It would have torn my heart out if he’d have hurt you, you know.” I gently rubbed her head to try and comfort her, like we did when we were little, but the flood gates were already open.

“And I-I miss Mom, Eren! It’s not fair. I’m all alone in that house.” My heart practically ripped open as I looked down at her and let my own tears leak into her hair now.

“Fuck. I know. I-I miss her too. So much. You have no idea. She-She’d know how to fix everything right now. She’d…” I choked and saw Levi stand up. My heart was being ripped open, and I couldn’t mend this one. Had I made the wrong choice? To leave her and come live with him? I should’ve stayed to protect her, to be there for her. I felt my chest closing in as I cried and I let out a strangled gasp. I couldn’t breathe, I was suffocating, but that was fine. I deserved every bit of it. I deserved to suffer. Deserved to be miserable, because of how I’d left her like that. Hell maybe I even deserved to be dead. I clawed at my chest as memories of Mom’s warm face flashed though my head. Her smile was warm, but it was pulling every last drop of oxygen from my lungs. I’d let our family down. I’d-

“EREN. Snap out of it!” I heard Levi’s voice ring through my ears. I felt Mikasa lean back and she stared at me in horror as I gasped. Levi’s arms wrapped around me from the back of the couch. I knew he was on his tippy toes to lean down at this angle, but right now, all I could focus on was trying to breathe. “Breathe. In. Out.” No breaths would come. Only gurgles for air. His arms were gone and before I knew it, he was in front of me, pushing into our embrace, taking me into his arms.

“L-L-Le-vi.” He was kneeled pretty much between my legs and pulling me so close to him, that I could feel his rapid heartbeat. I was scaring him. That made me gasp again. Fingers curled in my hair and I squeezed my eyes shut.

“You’re safe Eren!” Levi said it firmly, and my hands dropped from Mikasa to grip onto his arms.

“E-Eren!? What’s wrong with him?!”

“He’s having a panic attack. Sit back.” My heart sunk at the demand, but I needed him right now. I felt so fucking guilty to push her away, but it was just too much. Mikasa, I’d abandoned her. Left her in that cold home. Left her with bills. Left her with only memories of Mom behind. Left her without a brother to protect her.

“Eren. Listen to me. You are okay. Please breathe.” I shook my head and felt his warm weight against me. Before I knew what was happening, I was being pressed right up against his chest. One of my hands gripped at his hip while the other twisted in his shirt. I didn’t deserve his comfort. I was really worthless. I took in a shaky breath and managed a half-sentence.

“W-Worthless. Let her d-down.” The words out of my mouth cemented the fact, and I just cried harder. “W-Wrong choice…so wrong…” I coughed as the air tried to leak back into my lungs, but as soon as I’d catch a sliver of a breath, it was yanked away by my panic again.

“Eren, that’s not true! We all wanted you to be safe!” his words burned, and I knew they were somewhat true, but guilt was still chewing on me. I was a horrible brother.

“He’s right, Eren! I wanted you to be safe! You made the right choice! I just….I just miss you!” I felt the pain in her voice and I sobbed against Levi’s chest. “I love you Eren! I want you to be happy, but I just miss you so much!” I cried out against Levi’s chest and he gripped his arms around me tight. This was the only place. The only place I could break down and cry like this. The only place I was actually safe to show my weak side.

“See Eren?! She wants you to be happy. So breathe!” I clawed at his shirt and I sunk lower down against him.

“I’m s-so sorry. God. M-Mikasa!” I couldn’t even look her in the eye and I was just cowering against Levi. That’s exactly what I was. A coward.

“Eren, you had to leave!” Armin’s voice was echoing around me now. “He hurt you, Eren! Your safety comes first!”

“Absolutely!” Mikasa reassured. I choked and felt Levi’s hand on my cheek.

“Look at me, Eren. Open your eyes.” I opened them and looked up into grey. His eyes were watery and he looked desperate again. Was I pulling him down this time? Fuck. I slammed my fist into the couch beside of me and cried out again. “Eren. Please. Just breathe.” I took a small breath, one that I felt like I didn’t even deserve and sunk even lower. “Please. You are really scaring me, babe.” He rubbed my shoulder and I looked up again. A tear was leaking down his cheek and I just really wanted everything to fade away. I had made Levi cry, and I was a total piece of trash. Just like dad had said.

“Don’t….d-don’t deserve to breathe.” I blurted out my thoughts, but still struggled to take a breath. I know Levi wanted me to live. That was the only reason. Maybe I could fix things with Mikasa, but fuck this hurt.

“EREN! Don’t fucking say that!” Levi nearly yelled it and I could feel his tears now against my neck. “You DO deserve it. You’re worth saving. You’ve been working so hard, and you are really improving!” He was pleading with me. “S-So please. Don’t. I love you.” I nodded frantically at the confession and coughed out a breath, and another. “That’s it. Thank you. Please just breathe. In. Out.” I clung to him as my fear wrapped itself around me and constricted. I just wanted it to end. I was shaking, and it was terrifying. I felt like I was going to die. “S’okay. Eren. In.” I struggled, but I sucked in a breath, and Levi pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Out, another.” I repeated and I could hear his heart beat slowing a little.

“F-Fuck…” his hands were running through my hair, over my neck, my shoulders, trying to push the tension out of my shoulders.

“You can do it, babe. You’re so strong.” He was coaching me and all I could do was weakly nod against him. “You’ve come so far. You’ve overcome worse than this. I’m here for you.” My face felt so hot, and as I breathed in again, I felt the sweet oxygen reach a little father down.

“Amin, can you wet a cloth for me? Drawer next to the sink.” Levi was talking above me and the vibrations of his chest encouraged another shaky breathe. I had to keep moving forward. We had a future right? We had plans to make. Lives to live together. I had to focus on my happiness. My health.

I felt a cool cloth press to my face and I leaned back again so he could wipe down my face. It was refreshing in a way, the cold cloth coasting over my hot tear stained skin, and I welcomed each swipe. My heartbeat was starting to come down. I had a headache, but I was breathing again. My hand went up to my forehead to try and press away the tension of the oncoming headache. Levi gently pushed my fingers back and kept wiping over my face.

“Feel better?” I nodded weakly and opened my eyes to meet his. I sniffled a couple of times and he reach me a tissue. My tears had slowed, but they were still leaking from my eyes. I couldn’t take this aching feeling in my heart.

“I…I’m sorry.” Another wipe of the cloth. Another kiss, this time to my cheek where he freshly wiped.

“It’s alright. Don’t apologize.” I felt exhausted now.

“Eren…I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you like that…” Mikasa was frowning and reach for my hand, which I gave. “I just want things to be better with us. Can we try to make time for each other at least?” I nodded and gave her hand a squeeze.

“I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry you’re alone now, but…but I needed to get out of there.” Another tear wormed its way past my eye and Levi wiped it away.

“I know, Eren. It’s fine. I don’t hold it against you one bit.” She gripped my hand tighter and I nodded. “You’re a great brother, okay? I love you. Don’t think for a second I don’t. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t want to spend time with you.” I nodded again and swallowed hard. I saw Levi mouth something to Armin, and a few seconds later, he was pressing a glass of water to my lips. I took a couple of small sips and rubbed over my temple again.

“I love you too, Mikasa. We’ll start hanging out again.” She nodded and Levi sat me up a little. My head was pounding and my throat felt soar.

“Drink a little more, Eren.” He pressed the glass to my lips again and I took another couple of sips. The cool water did feel nice, my dry throat was being soothed. I heard him set the glass down on the table and his hands returned to my hair. Thoughts and worries were still buzzing away, but his warmth felt nice. He leaned my head back down against his chest and there it was. The steady _thrum thrum thrum._ I sighed and shut my eyes. I just needed to rest for a minute. Just sort through some of these thoughts… “Eren?”

“Just need to rest a minute…” Fingers combed through my hair and I sighed. Exhaustion was pulling at me so hard. Were my tears dried up? It sure felt like it. Levi’s shirt was soaked. Maybe if I just gave into the exhaustion for a minute... Just a quick rest.

 

 

A few hours later

“Eren. Wake up. It’s 7:00.” Hmmm….my eyes opened and I was still clinging tight to Levi. How long had I been asleep? I looked around the apartment. Mikasa and Armin were gone.

“They left already. Mikasa said it was better for you to rest for now. She said we could hand out tomorrow after the dinner if you wanted to.” I groaned and pressed my face back into his chest.

“I fucked up. Didn’t mean to fall asleep…” A warm hand caressed my cheek and I sighed.

“You were exhausted. Your body had been starved of oxygen. It’s okay. She even left you a note.” Levi handed me the note she left, scribbled on a notebook.

**Eren, don’t sweat falling asleep. You need rest. I didn’t mean to upset you, but hopefully we can both keep moving forward. Together. I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe grab a shake after? Love you!**

I smiled and gave the notebook back to Levi.

“So she really was okay?”

“Yes, she was fine. She was glad you fell asleep actually. She said you looked tired and needed to rest a little.” He ruffled my hair and smiled, before wiggling out of my grasp and stretching. “It’s a little after seven now, we need to get up and get moving if you are feeling alright.” I nodded and rubbed at my eyes. I walked up with Levi to freshen up, and changed my shirt. He was washing his face and re-applying his eyeliner.

We headed out after I shoved my hat on my head, to try and disguise myself and walked quickly to the class. Hopefully no one would see us in that short amount of time, but I know Levi didn’t want me to walk alone.

“Welcome!” We were greeted as we walked in and sat in the corner together with the rest of the strangers, which just so happened to be completely women. We were the only men in the class. I gave Levi a weary look.

“They didn’t have a class for just men. It’s the only one I could find. These people look nice at least.”

“You are Eren and Levi, I’m guessing? The last two on my list.”

“Tch.” Levi rolled his eyes and leaned back further in his chair.

“Yeah, we are.” I managed the nicest smile I could.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Ymir. I co-teach with Annie over there.” She gave me a smile and backed up after crossing our names off of the list.

“Alright, let’s get started! You are all here because you don’t want to be victims. So let’s learn the basics.” What an opening line. Annie, her partner, rolled her eyes in the corner. “The first step in saving yourself from any violent encounter is avoidance.” I looked to Levi and back to the teacher. I felt like I should be taking notes…

“Always focus on your surroundings, park in well-lit areas, keep your keys handy. Don’t be an open target.”

I nodded and watched Ymir walk around. Okay, step 2, is negotiation. Talk your attacker down. Try to avoid the situation all together. If that doesn’t work, well show you what to do next. Annie, will you come up?”

The blond walked up to the brunette and attempted to grab her wrist. Ymir yelled at the top of her lungs.

“BACK OFF!!” And Annie separated. I jumped and leaned back against Levi. Holy shit.

“You have to let them know that you aren’t an easy target. If that doesn’t work-“ Annie went for her wrist again. And Ymir moved, and kept moving again as she tried to grab. “You have to keep moving. Don’t remain stationary. This will make you a harder target.” She demonstrated a couple of techniques to get loose of wrist holds and I felt my heart begin to pound. This was driving my anxiety up. I could feel my blood pressure rising.

“The third thing is be different.” Annie went to grab her wrist again and Ymir struck her in the thigh. “Of course aim for where you are comfortable, but you just want to shift the situation in your favor.” She went through a few more techniques with us and had us pair up. My eyes were wide as I stared at Levi.

“I don’t want to fight you…” Levi frowned as he looked at me.

“To be perfectly honest, neither do I…I’m scared to hurt you.” Ymir came over to check on us, to see why we weren’t practicing the techniques.

“What’s the problem, kiddos?” I sighed and looked at Levi. “Don’t want to fight?”

“I’m scared to hurt him.” Levi admitted.

“Well, how about you two take turns with me and Annie then?” Annie walked over and her unimpressed eyes looked over us. “Annie, you practice with Levi. I’ll practice with Eren.”

“Sure.” We backed up and Ymir went to grab my wrist. I freaked out, but tried to remain calm.

“B-Back off!”

“Louder Eren! Stronger! You don’t want them to hurt you!” She was gripping my wrist tight and I shuttered. But she was absolutely right. I didn’t want to be a victim anymore. The faces of the countless people who had hurt me, who had made my life hell, flashed before my eyes. It was time to fight back.

“BACK OFF!!!” I yelled it at the top of my lungs and tried to move away. She got distracted as she watched my movements and I landed a kick to her knee. She fell in front of me. “Shit! I’m sorry!” I reach out a hand to pick her up and she smiled.

“No! That was perfect!” I heard a crash and looked over to find Annie on the matt upside down. Levi looked stunned standing over her.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” She shot him a glare as she picked herself up. “Why the fuck are you taking this class if you know those moves?!” She was holding her lower back and trying to walk it off.

“Sorry. I-ugh…it’s been a while. I wanted to take the class with Eren.” Levi was rubbing the back of his head.

“No wonder you didn’t want to train with him, asshole!” She was glaring at him and he frowned.

“Look! I apologized okay!”

“What’s your ranking anyways?” Annie growled.

“2nd Dan Black Belt.”

“Shit. No wonder. Fuck you.” She hissed and backed up to lean against the wall. WHAT? Levi was a black belt. Why was he even taking this class then? Come to think of it, he had put quite the beating on my Dad that night…

He walked over to us, looking gloomy. “Sorry about that. How’s Eren doing?”

“He did great! He took me down!” Levi smiled and gave me a pat on the back.

“Good job, Eren!”

We practiced a while longer, and I knocked Ymir down a few more times.

“Okay, Annie. Switch! Let me practice with Levi a bit!” Ymir said with a grin.

“You’re crazy. He’s gonna lay you out.” She said with a grimace as she walked over. I was a little nervous to have a new partner, but I really did need to practice with more than one person. I watched as Ymir went to grab Levi, and he easily evaded it and flipped her up in the air, landing her on her back.

“Ooof.” I jumped as Annie caught my own wrist without me paying attention. It was a surprise attack, and I could feel my chest squeeze tight. I tried to scream, but the words wouldn’t come. Just a worthless whimper that did me no good. I tried to move and wiggle, just in like step two, but she was relentless, not surrendering my arm. In a last ditch effort, I tried to lash out at her with my other hand, but she grabbed that wrist as well and slung me to the matt.

“S-Stop! Please.” I gasped it out and before I knew it, Levi was shoving her back.

“Cut it out! Don’t take your anger out on him!” Levi growled it and knelt by me. I felt my body trembling. I was too weak. “Eren, are you alright?” I looked up at him and tried to hold my panic down. Tried to contain my anxiety, but it was eating at me.

“What happened?!” Ymir demanded. “Annie!”

“He tried to hit me…”

“So you took him all the way down to the matt by both wrists?! What the heck?!” She shot us both a glare and backed up with her hands in the air.

“Not my fault he went crazy. He’s just too weak to carry it out.” I sucked in a breath of air and rubbed at my wrist. My heart was still beating wildly, but I just sat there for a minute.

“Go take a break, Annie.”

“Tch.” Levi was scowling at her as she walked away and he helped pull me to my feel. Ymir looked at my shaky hands with concern.

“Eren, are you alright? Are you hurt?”

“N-No. I’m fine. Really.”

“You look pretty shaken up. Why don’t you sit down?” I nodded and walked back over to the rows of chairs with her and Levi. Levi’s hand was on my shoulder, providing me with a little bit of comfort. I rubbed my face and looked at Levi. He wasn’t too impressed with the girl’s behavior. “I’m really sorry about Annie. She’s really talented, but she just has problems keeping her emotions in check.” I nodded again and kept rubbing my wrist. I remembered the cast that Dad had put me in and I trembled, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to rid my brain of his image. I started reaching blindly for Levi. Can I even finish this 3 week class?

Our hands locked together and I felt his breath close to me. I opened my eyes to see him kneeling in front of me.

“Eren. It’s alright…”

“I don’t know if I can do this Levi…” I caught Ymir’s frown out of the corner of my eye. Great. Just what we needed.

“Eren…have you been a victim before?” I nodded wildly and Levi pulled me up against him with his free arm. “Jeez…I had no idea. I’m so sorry.” I held onto Levi, willing my tears away with every part of me. I didn’t want to break down here. “But you do understand, that gives you even more reason to stand up and try harder, right? You can do it, Eren! You are strong.” I nodded again and looked up towards her.

“I-I’ll give it my best.” She smiled and gave me a thumbs up.

“Awesome! That’s the best you can do then. You’ll do great!” I gave her a half-smile and she looked at her watch. “Oh shoot, the time! Guys, it’s 9 o’ clock! Class is over!” I held onto Levi for a moment longer and he just silently rubbed my back, until I had the strength to stand.

“Alright, let’s go home. I know you are exhausted.” I nodded and leaned against him. It had been a really hard day. At least we got to sleep in some tomorrow. Right in time to wake up and get ready for the dinner. My stomach began to churn as I thought about it. I was excited to cosplay and interact with the customers, but I was terrified I was going to mess up our scenes. Scared I was going to make Mikasa upset again. I sighed and Levi pulled me towards the steps by my hand. We stepped out into the brisk air. It was cold, but at least it was clear.

“W-What if someone sees us, Levi?!” I was trying to pull my hand back, but he just gave it a squeeze.

“Let them see. You need me right now, I’m not fucking letting go.” I felt something snap, and I stopped right there in the middle of the street. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. Fuck, where were they even coming from?!

“B-But Levi! What if-”

“Eren, it’s okay.” I felt my knees go weak and looped his arm around my middle and pressed me up against the brick wall behind us. His breath turned to smoke, but it still felt warm against my face. I wound my arms around him so tight, I didn’t ever want to let go. “Fuck. I know you’ve had an awful day. Things will get better, please just trust me.” I nodded desperately against his shoulder and took a sharp breath of frozen air. My tears were chilling my face, and he was frantically trying to wipe them away. “Just hang in there babe. You’ve got our trip to look forward to, right? We leave next Friday evening.”

I lifted my face just enough to bury it against his neck. I was crying exhausted tears now, uncontrollably just reaching for him. I needed him closer. I needed Levi. But on the other side of that, I didn’t want to lose him because I was having a break down in the middle of the street. We could easily be seen, and this wasn’t exactly a deserted street. I swallowed hard and managed one word through my exhausted sobs. “H-Home.” He pulled back and his arm was hooked firmly around my waist.

“I think that’s a good idea, we are both pretty tired.” I nodded again and leaned my head on his shoulder as we walked, although it was a bit awkward. My tears slowed after the first couple of minutes walking, but I still felt heartbroken. Today was just awful. My alertness came back to me as Levi turned his keys in the lock and let us inside. We kicked off our shoes, but I didn’t even bother with my jacket. Or let Levi bother with his for that matter. I tugged him up the stairs with me to the bedroom and wrapped my arms around him again. His fingers were combing through my hair and my eyes sleepily watched him as he unzipped my hoodie and let it fall to the floor.

My eyes connected with his, and although the circles were pretty dark underneath from our long day, his eyes still shown so beautifully in the soft blue. His hoodie was next, and I’m not sure how he managed to squeeze out of it. My vison was getting hazy. I was just so worn out. Levi was so warm against me, and his arms were so strong. Maybe I could just shut my eyes for a second while he finished up.

 

Levi’s POV

“Eren!” I grabbed him as he pretty much went limp in my arms. He was practically dozing against me, slipping in and out of sleep. “Babe. Wake up.” His eyes fluttered open for a sec.

“Mhmm…Levi. Just. Just finish? Too tired.” He tucked his head back against me and let out a long sigh.

“WHAT?! Finish what?”

“NNGR. Don’t wanna sleep. Jeans.” Fuck Eren. You seriously want me to undress you while you are half asleep. Scratch that. Completely asleep?! I scooped him up and gently laid him down on my side of the bed. It was a little easier to get to. He moved to pull his shirt off in his sleep, but only got half way, leaving it pulled up over his stomach.

“Jeez brat. What am I going to do with you?” I pulled his shirt up the rest of the way and he sighed and grabbed onto my pillow. He was pretty damn cute. I worked on the buttons of his jeans next, and after I got that and the zip undone, I pulled them off of him. He shivered a bit, but I tossed his jeans in the floor and pulled the blankets up over him. He snuggled closer to my pillow and I leaned over to press a kiss to his forehead. A small smile crept over his lips, before he tucked himself further into the covers. “I’ll be right back.”

I walked downstairs to feed Kirara and found her sleeping in her bed. I gave her a gentle rub on her head and a blue eye opened and stared at me.

“Want dinner?”

“Meeeew.” I smiled and filled up her bowl before getting myself a glass of water. She was munching happily on her food as I checked the door to make sure it was locked. I shut the lights off downstairs, and made my way back up to the bathroom. After running through my nightly routine, I cleaned my new piercings and took my medicine. Eren really needed to take his as well. I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed with his medicine.

“Brat, wake up.”

“Mhmm.” His eyes opened up to look at me for a second.

“Hey, you need to take your medicine.” He sloppily leaned over my lap, and after grabbing the glass (and spilling half of it on my pillow) he downed his medicine and handed me the empty glass back. I just snickered and sat the empty glass on the table. Guess I was taking his side of the bed tonight. I threw off my shirt and slipped off my pants before sliding into bed with Eren. He was sleeping again, but his fingers were twisted in the pillow. “Hey, come here. I’m back.” I slipped my arms around him, and although he was wet from spilling the water everywhere, he was warm. I pulled him right up next to me, so close he was nearly on top of me.

“Le-le.” He moved his head against my shoulder and I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. He was already breathing deep again, and I just watched his peaceful face in the blue light.

Would there ever be a day where we weren’t miserable? My days were getting a lot better with him around, but my lows would strike out of nowhere. He really took me by surprise today when he said he was willing to stick with me, with all of my emotions…So I guess I’ll have to try my best and open up to him. I sighed and ran my hand over his chest under the covers.

“I’m trying my best for you, Eren.” I whispered it so low, I could barely hear it myself. “So just hang in there. I’m really proud of you. You’re so strong.” He adjusted a bit against me and breathed out heavily. Hopefully our trip next week would do us both some good. I think we are both the definition of overloaded right now. “Sweet dreams, babe.”

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ouran cosplay dinner!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so now that we are finally getting to the cosplay I would personally like to drop a thank you to  
> [screwtodayimsleeping](http://archiveofourown.org/users/screwtodayimsleeping/pseuds/screwtodayimsleeping)  
> They really have been a big influence on my writing, especially for this fic, and have inspire a big part of it. ;) Especially with the fic Coffee Writers. It pretty much inspired HUGE chunks of this (Particularly the Eren and Levi as otakus parts!) And without that, the fic would just be dark and gloomy and no fun, so to thank you, I've made some fan art for Coffee Writers, which EVERYONE should go read!  
> Go read Coffee Writers Here: [Coffee Writers](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2069826/chapters/4500855) I've posted my fan art for Coffee Writers below for you! <3 Thanks for your awesome writing and the amazing inspiration! I dedicate this chapter to you! ;)  
> [Coffee Writers Fan Art!](http://xxdeja-uchihaxx.tumblr.com/post/112202019495/eren-levi-from-coffee-writers-xxdeja-uchihaxx)
> 
> Also, I went to see the Amity Affliction last night in Greensboro, NC last night and it was AMAZING <3 *Sigh* <3

 

Levi’s POV

“L-Levi!” I shot awake and looked around frantically, before Eren wrapped his arms around me and we fell back down to the pillows. It was morning already and the sun was shining into the apartment through the huge windows in the front.

“What’s wrong?!” He was holding onto me so tight, that I couldn’t see his face.

“Y-You weren’t there when I woke up. On your side.” I groaned and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Of course not. You pretty much fell asleep standing up last night, so I just laid you down there. Then you spilled water all over my side of the bed.” He looked up at me with a frown.

“Sorry.” I ruffled his hair and stretched a little.

“Nothing to worry about. You were exhausted. I was too, to be honest, but I had to make sure Kirara had food and everything.”

“Leviiiii.” I started pressing kisses wherever my lips would reach and a smile finally crept up on his lips.

“There, that’s better. I like it when you smile.” Turquoise eyes shot up and stared into mine, and that beautiful smile was still on his lips, making his eyes sparkle almost.

“Mhmm…me too.” This time I kissed him directly on the lips and he kissed right back, almost getting caught up in the moment.

“Nooo. We need to brush our teeth first, brat!” he pouted at me and pulled back.

“No fair! You have morning breath too, so it doesn’t matter-“

“NO.” He huffed and rolled over me to the side of the bed and proceeded to yank me up by my hand.

“Fine! Come on then! I want to kiss you.” I chuckled and let him pull me to the bathroom. He seemed to be feeling better this morning, and I truly was glad. We brushed our teeth together, and just as I was rinsing and setting my toothbrush aside, he pinned me up against the sink.

“Woah, someone is really-MPHH” He stole my words away with a kiss, and it immediately deepened into more than our usual pecks. I was being pressed up against the cold porcelain of the sink, and I had nothing to protect my back, considering we both slept in our underwear last night.

His tongue moved against mine, and mine against his, but eventually he won the kiss and I just melted against him. He has definitely turned into quite the kisser, though we have been practicing…a lot. I felt his tongue run over my bottom lip, and my knees nearly buckled. Shit. Where did he learn that?! He chuckled into the kiss, before he pulled away so we could catch our breath.

“Levi, thanks for yesterday…” His eyes were a bit cloudy now, almost a darker shade of tropical blue.

“No, problem. We are here to support each other, right?” He nodded and dove in for another kiss, licking my lip in the same way, before sucking it into his mouth. I moaned into the kiss, and my fingers flew up to his hair. SHIT. This kid was going to do me in. He pushed closer still, and I could feel a growing “problem.” Glad I’m not the only one. I lifted my leg up a bit, and he practically straddled my thigh for some friction. Holy shit. He was hard as a rock. I tried to pull back for a second. “Mmph, Eren.” He pulled me right back down, practically leaning me back over the sink. Fuck! I turned away as I felt the faucet jab into my shoulder. “S-Shower?!” His eyes lit up and he yanked me over with him. I felt him lean over to turn on the shower, but he was back in a split second, trying to rip my underwear off, and I did absolutely nothing to stop him. I smirked as they hit the ground and made a move for his, but they were off before I could touch the band.

We were in the shower before the water was even hot all the way and I was being shoved up against the wall. His fingers were in my hair, and his lips were on my neck.

“E-Eren!” I bucked up towards him and he proceeded to straddle my thigh again.

“Hngg.” He moaned a little and OH MY GOD. He was fucking grinding on my thigh. Lips were back on my neck. Kissing, sucking, FUCK. I felt him latch on to the side of my neck and I pulled back a little.

“N-No marks today. C-Cosplay.” He immediately pulled back and moved to my collarbone, licking and sucking over it, and just grinding on my thigh like that.

“L-Levi…is this weird? I c-can stop.” His face was red as he asked the question and I just let my head fall back to reveal my throat to him again.

“F-Fine. S’ not weird.” He pressed into my thigh harder and MY GOD. The thoughts coursing through my head were probably enough to send me to jail in that damned principal’s eyes. I wanted him so bad, but it just wasn’t going to happen yet. Not for a while longer.

“Levi!” His breath hitched and GOD that face. His mouth was open and fuck, I could feel him press into my hard on every now and again. His leg brushed my cock and I jerked forward, nearly bumping our heads together. I could feel burning red in my cheeks as well, but that wasn’t going to stop us now. “W-What do you w-want?” I could tell this was a little hard on him, my legs were a bit shorter. I tugged him down with me to the floor of the shower as the water was swirling and spraying everywhere, but it felt so nice. I was laying on the floor of the tub and I pulled Eren down on top of my lap. His eyes went wide and I reach up to press a kiss to his lips.

“Calm down. Just do what you were doing before. Just grind. It’ll feel nice for both of us if you do it like this.” He nodded and with a bright red face, leaning over me slightly. We hadn’t been this close yet. It was a step closer to the actual thing, but not quite there. He cried out as his cock touched mine and I let out a shaky breath. I placed my hand on his lower back and pushed down a little, encouraging him to go. He started moving his hips and he gave me an embarrassed glance. “FUCK. Don’t be embarrassed over something that feels this good.” He leaned lower and my hand slipped to his ass. He whimpered and Just. Kept. Moving. Was it possible to feel this amazing by just moving against each other? Eren whimpered again and with every thrust and grind he leaned forward more and more. Eventually his lips landed on my neck again, and I couldn’t keep it in anymore.  


“E-Eren! Just like that.” I was arching my back up to grind right back into him and his whimpers were turning into full blown moans. He was gone. Completely and utterly lost to the pleasure. I looked up into his eyes and they were clouded over still, even a darker shade if possible.

“L-LEVI! GONNA-NGGGGN” He cried out and I felt warmth trickle over me as Eren went rigid. Holy fuck was he gorgeous. Just the thought made my cock twitch and before I knew what was happening, there was a hand between us, reaching for me.

“GAH! WHA- FUCK!” The obscenities spilled from my mouth as Eren’s hand went to work. I leaned up against him, practically wrapping myself around him as he pumped me hard, pushing me further and further. I was holding around his neck, gripping for dear life.

“EREN! FUCK!” I came with his hand wrapped around me, and felt myself jerk and nearly go limp in his arms. I felt the post-orgasmic bliss start to flood through my body as the shower was working overtime, trying to wash our filth away. We just laid there for a bit longer, sharing soft kisses and warm touches. But, all good things must come to an end, I suppose.

“We should finish up. Water is gonna get cold.” He nodded and stood up first, then helped me to my feet. The water’s temperature was already changing, so we hurried and scrubbed ourselves clean before the icy water started to flow.

The towels were warm at least and we ran through the second half of our morning routine. I looked at the clock in the bedroom as I threw on a t-shirt and jeans. It was 12:30 and Eren’s arms wrapped around me from behind and I grinned. He was nuzzling my neck, and God, it just felt so right.

“Can we cuddle, Levi?” He begged against my neck and I sighed.

“Yeah, but let me go feed Kirara and grab my notebook. We can run through our scene in bed. Sound good?”

“Sure!”

 

 

That evening

Eren’s POV

We practiced for quite a while until we were sure we had the scenes down pat. We would have practiced longer, but my hands kept wandering into “not brotherly” territory and distracting Levi. The alarm on his phone began going off around 5 o’clock, and we tossed his notebook aside.

“Don’t wanna get up.” I groaned and leaned back against the pillows. He stretched a bit and moved his arm around my middle.

“We have to. Don’t you want to put on your cosplay?” I grinned but I stayed where I was.

“Sure I do, but that doesn’t mean I want to stop lounging around with you.” He smirked and tugged on my shirt.

“Come on, Eren. Get up.” I sighed and let Levi tug me out of bed. We walked over to the closet and pulled out the garment bags. He peeked inside to make sure it was the right one, before taking his cosplay out and laying his across the bed. I mimicked him and smiled at the bright purple in front of me. The blonde wig was a little unnerving, but I picked up the bag and let it fall into my hands.

“Let’s put our caps on first. We could probably use some makeup as well.”

“WE?”

“Yeah. You have circles under your eyes, Eren. Do you think Tamaki has circles?” I frowned and let Levi pull me into the bathroom by my hand. I hadn’t realized my circles were that bad. “Don’t frown like that. They aren’t that bad really, but for cosplay you want to cover up everything. Especially for pictures.” I nodded and knelt down for Levi as he pulled out the makeup case from under the sink. He started combing my hair and pulled the wig cap over, pinning it into place. He took out the concealer and began working it under my eyes, applying a little power afterwards. It didn’t feel too heavy, and I was thankful. “Looks good. I don’t think you need any more than that.” I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I did look better. Refreshed almost. “You can go get dressed now if you want. I have to do my makeup, and put this damn thing on.” I smiled and kissed his cheek before heading for the door.

“Thanks, Levi!” I slipped on my black pants first, and then pulled on my white button up. The buttons took forever, but I eventually got it right. I stared at the tie blankly and huffed. Shit…

“What’s that look about? Don’t know how to tie one?” He snaked his arm around me and stared at my face.

“No, I’ve never really had to tie one myself.”

“Well, I’ll tie it for you today. But I’ll teach you one day.” I smiled as Levi turned around and grabbed the tie off of the bed. OH. MY. My eyes went wide as I looked at him. His eyes were a little darker than usual and I noticed that he had on more eyeliner than usual and his eyelashes seemed…longer? His skin looked perfectly smooth, not that it didn’t normally, but now, there wasn’t even a sheen to it.

“What, never seen someone wear mascara before?” he said with a smirk. I blinked a couple of times and looked closer. Oh. That’s what it was? Whatever it was made his eyes look…fuck…smoky and just, feminine?

“N-No just…wow. It looks…you look…umm…”

“You are stumbling over your words, brat.” He said with a smile. He slipped the tie around my neck and I watched his hands go to work. Looping and knotting the fabric just right. It was perfect, or else I thought it was. Evidentially, he wasn’t satisfied so he untied it, adjusted the sides a bit and started over.

“I didn’t mean to stutter. You look great, Levi.” His smile widened and he tightened the knot of the tie.

“There, that’s better. Here.” He reach for the blonde wig and adjusted it on my head. I waited for him to stop poking and prodding around my hair line before I opened my eyes. “Damn Jaeger, You look pretty good.” I felt a blush creep on to my cheeks and Levi leaned up to press a kiss to my lips. “Or should I say, Senpai?”

“That’s Daddy to you!” I teased. Levi blushed and backed away.

“Isabel was right. You make a great Tamaki.” He snickered and began pulling on his clothes. He fastened his own tie and carried his wig into the bathroom. I followed him and watched him adjust it on his head. My heart began pounding. Holy crap! Levi as a brunette… “I see you grinning, Eren.” He was smirking in the mirror as he brushed the tangles out of his wig, and he turned around and leaned up to run the comb through mine as well. "There. Now we both look pretty good. Coats and shoes, and we should be good to go I think.”

“Okay!” I ran into the bedroom and slid my lavender blazer on. Ouran’s insignia was on my chest and I smiled at Levi as he slid into the identical coat. “Looking good, Haruhi!” He smirked and snickered.

“Thanks, Senpai.” Levi ran down the stairs and I chased after him. We both slipped on our black dress shoes, grabbed the auburn wigs, his heeled boots and walked out into the street. Luckily it wasn’t that chilly, so we were fine with just our blazers.

“Say, Haruhi. Would it be rude of me to ask to hold your hand?” Levi blushed but reach out his hand and laced our fingers together. Not a soul in the world (besides our friends maybe) would be able to tell who we were like this. We walked hand in hand slowly enjoying the hustle and bustle on the street and the setting sun together as we walked. It was a normal Saturday evening, and the small town was definitely enjoying the slight warm up.

“Do Daddies usually hold hand’s with their little girls?” he said in a softer voice.

“This Daddy does.” I swung our hands up and kissed his playfully.

“So weird.” He rolled his eyes and stepped closer to me.

“I’m just trying to be like Tamaki!” he chuckled and gave my hand a squeeze.

“You are being too much like him, brat.” We arrived at the venue and I opened the door for Levi, like a gentleman. He rolled his eyes again and we walked up the steps together.

“TAMAKI, HARUHI!” Isabel ran towards us and tossed the pink bunny Usa-chan towards me, which I caught and gave a hug.

“Honey-Senpai!” I was grinning like a dork. She looked adorable, although she was a few feet too tall. She grabbed Usu-chan back and hugged him tight.

“You guys are really into this!” Furlan appeared and was smiling.

“It’s so much fun!” I started spinning in circles with Isabel and Levi was grinning.

“Wow! Eren, you really look like Tamaki!” Jean walked into the room holding a laptop bag and I stopped spinning with Isabel. Holy crap. He looked like Levi almost! And the glasses… I felt my hand being snatched and I got a sharp look from Levi with a raised eyebrow.

I scratched at the back of my head and laughed nervously. “Ha! You look just like Kyoya!”

“Watch it, Jaeger!” I heard Levi growl beside me and I turned towards him. I took his other hand it mine and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“Levi, he looks like you.” Levi had a scowl on his face, but it softened as I pulled him close to me. “And…I may I have a thing for glasses…” I whispered in his ear.

“Oh really? So you want to see me in glasses then?”

“That’s…well…” I blushed and ran my hand over his back. “Well maybe one day. And besides, why would I look anywhere else, when I’ve got you here? You’re gorgeous.”

“Tch. I think the starch from the wig is getting to your head.” He said with a grin as he pinched my cheek. “Just remember, Jaeger. You’re mine.” I knew our friends were watching, but I could really care less. All that mattered was Levi.

“I don’t want to be anyone else’s, Levi. Trust me. I love you.” Levi’s face turned instantly red and he ducked it into my shoulder.

“Damn brat. In front of everyone…” he muttered. I chuckled a bit and patted his back.

“AGHHHHHH! SO CUTE!” Isabel screamed as she began jumping up and down.

“We need to get ready for the party guys.” Farlan said as he walked towards the back of the room. The food had already been catered and the room had been set up elegantly.

“Wait for me, Mori!” Isabel ran after him and Jean just sat down at one of the far tables on his phone. Levi leaned his face up a bit to look at me and I saw his pink cheeks peering up from my shoulder.

“You really just said that in front of everyone.” He rubbed his finger over the button on my coat and I just nodded.

“It’s true. I don’t want to be with anyone else.” A smile crept over his lips and he pulled me down for a quick kiss.

“I love you too, brat. Even if you embarrassed me in front of everyone.” I beamed a smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

 

 

Eventually, people starting showing up, mostly in pairs or groups of four. I split with Levi to usher the different people into the room. Jean sat in the corner on his laptop, just as Kyoya, and Isabel and Farlan were setting at the center table enjoying some cake together as Mori and Honey. Marco was hiding in the back, waiting for the dance.

“Good evening! Welcome to the host club!” I reach for the hand and pulled them through the door. A huge grin and shiny glasses met me. “H-Hanji?! Erwin?!” Hanji took my hand with a smile and I ushered her over to the table with a smile. “Welcome!”

“Eren, you look adorable!” she said with a clap. I pulled out the seat for her, and Erwin got his own.

“Thanks! Would you like some coffee? Or cake?”

“Absolutely!” I brought the tray around and let them choose the cake they wanted. “But is cake before dinner really okay?” Isabel nearly leapt over to our table.

“CAKE IS OKAY ANYTIME!!!” She plopped down beside of Hanji and smiled. I fixed their coffee and after I was sure they were satisfied, I moved back to the door to pick up my next pair. This time it was a pair of young giggling ladies that each took a hand. I caught a jealous look from Haruhi.

“Welcome to Ouran! Where only the beautiful and rich come to play!” I led the ladies to their table and seated them, just as I had Hanji and Erwin.

“Tamaki!” One girl was practically fawning over me, and it made me a bit nervous, but I had to stay in character.

“Yes, beautiful! Would you like some cake? Coffee?”

“Yes, please!” I brought the tray over and let them pick out their slices of cake and out of the corner of my eye, I caught Levi leading Mikasa and Armin to their table. She looked beautiful in a red dress that matched her scarf. Armin had a blue button up on. They looked nice together, I had to admit. Levi was bringing them cake and coffee as well.

“Tamaki! Will you have cake with us?!”

“Only if you feed it to me, beautiful.” I winked at her and crossed my legs elegantly as I sat between them.

“Tamaki senpai! There’s a student here who says they’re here to study! Ha!” Jean nudged my shoulder and I glanced over to Levi. He was glaring at the two women.

“Study? HA!” I stood up and there in the middle of the room, stood a vase on a pedestal. This was going to be good! “Is everyone seated?” I asked Jean as we walked towards Levi.

“Yeah. Good to go!” I gave him a thumbs up and walked over to Levi, gently tugging him away from Mikasa and Armin’s table.

“So, Haruhi! Kyoya tells me you are here to study! That’s nonsense! You must be here to find a host!” Levi’s eyes went wide as we reenacted the famous scene.

“N-No, really-“

“So tell me, do you like the strong silent type, like Mori?” Levi shook his head and took a step back, his brunette locks waving as he did. “No? Then, maybe the boy Lolita?” Honey waved and hugged Usa-chan.

“You’ve got it wrong!” Another step back towards the priceless vase. “The cool type? Like Kyoya?”

“It’s not like that! I-I was just looking for a quiet place to study!!” A few more steps and I leaned in close over him, drawing excited cheers from the girls.

“Or maybe-“ I gently caressed the underside of his chin and tried to pull him in for a kiss. “Or maybe…you’re into a guy like me?” He jumped back from my touch and slammed right into the vase, knocking it over. Everyone gasped and I pulled Levi up to his feet. Jean was already behind me as Kyoya sweeping up the mess. “What do you say, Haruhi? Let’s dance to pay off that debt!” A defeated nod, and Levi’s hand was in mine. The music started and our arms were around each other, just as the instructor had taught us.

Marco came onto the floor with Jean next, circling around us, and I smiled as I saw the puppet Beelzenef against Jean’s back. Marco’s all black cape was fluttering as they danced, but I just smiled and set my eyes back on the beauty in front of me. I spun Levi around the room to the music, and twirled him in my arms. I heard cameras going and my stomach sank. Why was I getting nervous now? I gave him an apprehensive look and he gave my hand a squeeze.

“You’re doing great, Eren.” He whispered it in my ear and I nodded, spinning again. I could feel his heart beating right against my hand and I smiled, which brought out his true smile, not the fake one he had been wearing. We danced for a bit longer, nearly bumping into an overly energetic Honey and Mori by mistake, but the music eventually came to a close and I dipped my Haruhi backwards into a near kiss, which sent Levi into a blush.

“Photos with the hosts!” We stayed put for a bit and Mikasa and Armin came up to us for a picture. We took a group shot together, the whole host club, then just me and Levi, and then the whole room, and finally we posed with Hanji and Erwin. My stomach was really beginning to sink now. “Please take your seats! Dinner will be served shortly!” This was our cue to exit and change wigs.

We ran out of the room and into the bathroom to switch into the auburn wigs. Levi was going to be Kaoru and I was going to be Hikaru.

“Do I look okay?” I had kept my dress shoes on, and Levi had switched to his heeled boots to make the height difference a bit more even. I was still quite a bit taller than him, but hopefully the girls weren’t going to be watching that.

“You look great, Eren.” Levi planted a quick kiss to my lips and we ran out of the bathroom back to the floor, to our stage. My heart was beating like crazy.

 

I took the cheese tray to the front of the room and swallowed hard. “Would you like some cheese miss-OUCH!” I pretended I cut my finger and Levi’s face was priceless.

“Hikaru!” Levi leapt forward and grabbed my hand, then sucked my finger into his mouth.

“Kaoru!” he pulled back with a lick and got close to my face.

“Don’t hurt yourself like that, Hikaru! I just can’t bare it! If something would happen to you I just couldn’t bare it!” Our lips were nearly touching and the roar of the girls screaming in the room was almost unbearable.

“I’ll be more careful, Kaoru. I’m sorry. Forgive me.” He sucked my finger into his mouth again for a moment before pulling away to kiss it.

“Sure.” We walked out of the room to cool our red faces for a moment. Back into Tamaki and Haruhi to circulate the floor for a while, then back once more into the twins for desert. I stopped by Mikasa’s table to say hello before our scene.

“Enjoying everything?” I said with a smile. “My beautiful lady?” She grinned and gave me a hug.

“Yes! I love it!”

“Great! I’m glad!” Armin was enjoying his soup and I waved to them as my other twin beckoned me over to the desert table.

“Kaoru, what are you doing?” I raised my voice so all the attention in the room would be drawn to us. My heart was fluttering, but Levi’s eyes drew me in. He was my rock, and he was keeping me stable.

“Trying to decide which is sweeter. My perfect brother, or this chocolate chip cookie.” He said with a pout.

“Kaoru! I’m not a sweet as that cookie! We both know cookies can’t be naughty!” We had to wait for the screams of the girls in the room to quiet before we continued.

“But, I want to know which tastes sweeter!”

“Why not try both at once?!” I took the cookie from his hand, and after swallowing hard, I placed it in my mouth and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him close. He bit right into the other half of the cookie and our lips brushed together. We chewed for a minute and he nodded in affirmation.

“You are definitely sweeter, Hikaru!” I grinned and gave him a hug. The girls were screaming again and we went to walk out of the center of attention, but a few of the girls called us back.

 

“Please, Please, Please! Will you take a kissing picture for us?!” My face turned pink as did Levi’s.

“Up to you.” He said with a shrug. I sighed and wrapped my arms around him again.

“Just one. So get it the first time!” I leaned over him and joined our lips together, and I swear I heard at least twelve cameras go off.

“GOT IT!! AGHHHH!!!! Thank you soooo much!” I grinned against Levi’s lips and let him loose.

“No problem!” The dinner was practically over now, so I went and joined Mikasa and Armin as Levi went to sit with Hanji and Erwin for a while.

“That was…interesting Eren!” Armin said with a grin. “Very much like the anime.”

“Ha, thanks. Yeah…sorry about that part…”

“I liked it!” Mikasa was grinning and my mouth dropped open.

“WHAT?!”

“What? Hikaru is my favorite!” I rolled my eyes and leaned back in the chair, resting my tired feet as the crowd left and led themselves out, leaving just us, Mikasa, Armin, Erwin, and Hanji.

“Hey brat.” I turned around and something was thrust into my face.

“WHA-“ I breathed in the sweet smell of roses and looked up to Levi who was blushing as pink as the flowers in my hands. “Levi, you-you got me flowers?!”  


“Yeah. You did a great job tonight. I’m really proud.” I grinned and reach up for his tie, yanking him down for a kiss.

“Mphh!!” I heard another click and looked over to see Hanji taking pictures. Levi pulled back with a bright red face.

“Thanks, Levi!”

“You’re welcome. Now let’s head out for dinner. Is it okay if Erwin and Hanji come?” I looked to Mikasa and Armin and they both nodded.

“Sure!”

 

Erwin drove us all to the restaurant, and funny enough, I ended up on Levi’s lap. AGAIN. He was grinning as he held me around the waist on his lap.

“Kaoru! Not fair!”

“Just brotherly love, Hikaru!” he said with a smirk.

“Not!” He squeezed me tight around my waist and leaned his head into my back. Luckily, the restaurant was only a short drive away, so I didn’t have to die from embarrassment along the way.

They sat us down in the back of the restaurant, and I sat in between Levi and Mikasa.

“So, what do you want to eat, brat?”

“Hmm…something cheesy….” He raised his eyebrow and looked over the menu.

“Cheese sticks?”

“Sure!” Everyone ordered, and when the food was brought out, they looked at us strangely. We were splitting an appetizer of cheese sticks and two different kinds of dessert.

“You guys haven’t had dinner, right?” Hanji asked as she pointed her spoon at us.

“No, but this is okay I guess.” Levi bit into a cheese stick and strung cheese from his hand to his mouth. “Mhmm…” I took the other end of the cheese stick from him and bit the string of cheese in half. He grinned and licked over his lips. I heard Mikasa sigh.

“I never thought my brother would turn out to be so weird…”

“You think EREN is weird?! HA!” Hanji said as she slapped her thigh. “This one time, Levi-“

“Shut the fuck up, Hanji!” I rested my head on Levi’s shoulder and pouted.

“But I want to hear the story! Leviiiii.” He huffed and shot her a glare.

“I swear, if you tell anything that I don’t approve of, I will gut you. Got it?!” His eyes nearly stared a hole straight through her and she shivered.

“Got cha, Heichou!”

“HANJI!!!”

“Sorry! HA! Anyways, I went shoe shopping with Levi once.”

“Shit…” Levi buried his face in his hands, and I chuckled as the auburn locks fell over his fingers.

“And we went to the women’s section to look for a pair of boots for me, well Levi finds a pair and insists that he just HAS to have them! HAHAHA!” I grin at Levi and he isn’t even looking up now. “Keep in mind, he’s never walked in anything more than a 3 inch heel before. These are straight hooker boots, okay. With chains and buckles. The whole nine yards, but don’t get me wrong, they are very, Levi.” He huffed and shot her a death glare. “Well…Ha…he insisted on wearing them out of the store of course, and…and he was almost as tall as me in them! But, well we were in the mall and he didn’t exactly know how to walk in 6 inch heels properly, so I was trying to teach him. Well he just sort of tripped and fell over into this display of stuffed animals and hahahaha…” Hanji was laughing uncontrollably now and Levi was shaking his head.

“You were a shitty teacher!” Levi growled as he cut into the cheese cake. I leaned over and put my lips up to Levi’s ear.

“Do you still have those boots, Levi?” He smirked and turned towards me.

“Got a heel fetish, brat?” He whispered it low, and I blinked a couple of times.

“N-NO! I was just curious!”

“Ha, right. No, I took them back, but I have a similar pair.” I smiled at the thought and wondered just how tall the heels were…

We finished our desserts and Erwin dropped us off at our apartment. I held my bouquet of roses close to my chest as Levi unlocked the door. I followed him inside and after I slipped off my shoes, I went into the kitchen to find a glass for my roses.

“Eren, wait.” I stopped looking and watched Levi look through a bottom cabinet and pull out a vase. “Use this.”

“Meeeeeow.”

“Hey, Kirara! Your daddy did great tonight!” Levi said with a grin as the kitten rubbed up against his leg. He filled up the vase and set it on the island. I heard him pop open a can and empty it into her bowl. “Dinner time for kittens!” He said with a chuckle. God, Levi was good with animals. I watched him take care of her, absolutely awestruck.

“Meoooow!” I took my flowers out of the wrapper and placed them in the water and breathed in the sweet smell.

“Thanks for everything, Levi.” He leaned up from petting Kirara and walked over to me, looping and arm around me and pulling me close.

“You’re welcome. Thanks for doing such a great job. You could have let your anxiety kick your ass today, Eren, but you pushed forward. I’m proud.” I grinned and leaned forward to kiss him. It was brief, but heart-felt. I pulled back to look him over and I could see how tired he actually was.

“Do you want to call it an early night?” I offered as I stroked his cheek.

“Mhmm sounds good to me. Let’s just change first. I want to wash my face as well. This makeup is making my skin crawl.” I giggled and picked up my vase of roses, carrying it with me as we went upstairs.

“You are putting it by the bed?”

“Is that okay?” Levi smiled and nodded.

“Sure, I don’t see why not. I’m going to wash my face.” He stepped in the bathroom, and I heard the water beginning to run. I positioned my roses just right on the table and began stripping out of my cosplay. I carefully placed everything back inside of my garment bag, and it left me in just my underwear, but I figured Levi really didn’t mind. I ruffled my hair as I walked to the bathroom, freeing it from the wig cap. Levi had already stripped down to his underwear as well, and he was scrubbing his face furiously.

“Will you actually have skin left?” I joked as I leaned against the door frame. He whimpered and jumped back from the sink.

“I ugh…sorry. Some of this didn’t want to come off…” He began drying his face and his raven hair stuck to his forehead. What a transformation. His eyes were completely bare of any eyeliner now, and he still looked perfect. “What? Something on my face?” He ran his fingers over his own cheek and I just shook my head,

“No, just thinking about how great you look. How gorgeous.” He huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah right…” I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him right up against me.

“Don’t doubt me when I sat that, Levi. You are fucking beautiful…” He breathed in a little but let his head fall against my chest in a nod. “And I love you. For everything you are.”

“Fuck Eren…I love you too.” He looked up at me with pink cheeks and linked our hands together. “Let’s go to bed, brat.” We walked to bed together, and snuggled up together on our normal sides. Levi settled in against my shoulder for once, as I combed my fingers through his hair.

“So where is our trip starting?”

“Hmm…I think in Boston this time?” I smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “But we can talk about it tomorrow. Let’s just…relax for now. Please. Just hold me, Eren. I’m worn out.” I went silent as I looked at his body tucked in against me, cast in the blue light.

“Okay.” I felt my mind begin to wander, but eventually sleep tugged me down, into sweet dreams of cosplay and Levi.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip begins!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I have been trying to edit this ALL DAY guys. Seriously. It's been such a chore. -.-'''  
> I started before work at 3:30 today, with all intentions of getting it posted, and nope. Things didn't go as planned. Then I tried again at 10:30. Nope. And here I am for round three of editing! GAH!!! 
> 
> Enjoy! I need good vibes sent my way~ :) Got some bad people in my life trying to send me bad mojo, so any good comments or what not are appreciated ha <3 ^.^

A few days later

“Levi, where did my body wash go?” I checked the shower for all of my things, and all of my stuff was gone already.

“I packed it already, brat.” He called from the bedroom.

“Thanks.” I double checked for my toothbrush, and everything else I needed, but it was already packed away also. I walked out into the bedroom to watch Levi running down the stairs. Maybe we shouldn’t have stayed in bed instead of packing last night…we decided to watch the new Shingeki no Kyojin episode instead of filling up our suitcases and we were paying now. It was Saturday, and our plane left at 11am, which was an hour and a half from now.

Levi ran back upstairs carrying a laundry basket full of clean and neatly folded clothes. He had the stoic look on his face, but he was nearly sprinting from place to place.

“Levi, are you alright? Need help?” He looked to me and took a deep breath.

“Please…I’m panicking a little actually. I don’t want to miss our flight. Just sort this basket. Yours and mine.” I looked beside the bed and there sat the fluorescent pink suitcase. My mouth dropped open as I stared at it.

“Really?! This thing again?!” I said as I poked at it jokingly.

“Well…we never really did get you another one, so it’ll have to do.” He said with a frown.

“I’m joking, Levi. It’s fine. Don’t stress so much. We are taking a trip together!” He gave me a half-smile and nodded.

“Sorry, I always get like this before I leave. I always feel like I’m forgetting something.” He continued to kneel beside of our suitcases and packed away our medicine before checking it off of his list. I grinned and tackled him in a hug to the floor. “Oi! Jaeger!” I rubbed my face against his chest and smiled up at him.

“As long as you don’t forget me Levi, we‘ll be alright.” He rubbed my head and chuckled.

“I couldn’t forget you, brat. Not with those eyes of yours.” I grinned and moved up a bit to nuzzle his face.

“Good. So don’t worry about packing then. I’m the only important thing. Right?” He grinned and caressed my cheek.

“You’ve got a point, Eren. I could pick up and go with just you and be perfectly fine.” He gave me another smile and kissed my forehead before standing up. I began sorting through the clean clothes, trying to decipher whose clothes were whose. I heard Levi go down the steps again, and then a few seconds later he was running back up, carrying grocery bags. They must have been from the store yesterday. We had went shopping for a few things we may have needed, but I had went with Jean and he’d went with Hanji. We had really been separated this last week, not being able to show affection outside of the house, and it was really bothering me.

The weather was finally warming up, so it meant a lot more snooping people were out and we had to be more careful. The only time we could even think about laying hands on each other was at home, and the little amounts of time we got to spend together during the day we were so worn out and carrying out the motions of the day we barely got to do anything at all besides cuddle a little before bed.

Levi dropped my bags in front of me and I looked inside. All of the things that I had bought yesterday were inside, including the snacks and calming teas. I had bought Levi a couple of sweets for the trip as well. I took out the cakes and handed them to Levi. He raised his eyebrow.

“What is this for?”

“A honey bun, for my honey?” I said with a stupid grin on my face.

“That was cheesy even for you, Eren. But thanks.” He leaned over and kissed me before packing the cakes away into his messenger bag. He started packing other snacks into his messenger bag, along with the familiar throw blanket we’d used on the bus. I could tell he was getting frustrated and was giving up on packing, because he just tied off and threw his plastic bag in his suitcase.

We quickly finished up, checking off the last few items on his list, and adding a few extra pieces of clothing before we drug our suitcases downstairs.

“Meooooow!” Kirara was waiting patiently in her carrier and a knock on the door signaled the arrival of Erwin.

“Come in!” Levi called out as he checked over the bag he had packed for her, making sure she had all of her toys and cans of food. “You’ll be fine little girl. Daddies will be back in a week or so. Uncle Erwin will take care of you.” A paw came through the bars of the carrier and Levi rubbed at the tiny toes. “Be good.”

“Meeew.” I leaned down to look at the small grey and white ball of fur.

“I’ll miss you Kirara. Have lots of fun with Sonny!”

“M-Meeow.” I stroked the small toes as well and Levi leaned his head against my shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave her…”

“I know…but she’ll have fun with Sonny.” I gave Levi a smile and he nodded. “Besides, all of the travel would stress her out.”

“True.”

“Ready to go guys?” We stood up and Erwin grabbed the carrier and her bag. I grabbed my own suitcase and Levi grabbed his messenger bag as well as his own luggage. After we locked up the house, Levi handed the keys to Erwin and we loaded up our luggage in the hatch. We said goodbye and thanks to Erwin one last time as he dropped us off at the airport in Shinganshina, and I grabbed my hot pink bag from the back and popped the handle up on it and wheeled after Levi, who was walking quickly.

 

“L-Levi, wait up!” I ran beside of him and his eyes went wide.

“Fuck, I’m sorry Eren. I’m not used to traveling with anyone.”

“You almost forgot me?!” He stopped for a second and adjusted his earring.

“Well…possibly…not on purpose! I swear!” He was frowning deeply as he twisted the loop in his bottom lobe.

“Levi!” I frowned and crossed my arms.

“I won’t do it again babe! I promise! Here-“ He reach forward and grabbed my hand, and it startled me for a second. I looked around frantically, trying to hide our hands. “Calm down, Eren. From here on out we’re on vacation. No one can bother us now.” I swallowed hard and nodded and Levi began tugging me along by my hand to the right gate to find our place. We made it through security in time and actually got on the plane early.

“You can take the window.” I nodded and slid into the comfy seat. It wasn’t economy, but it wasn’t first class by any means. I was just thankful to be beside of Levi and not stuck at home alone. Levi put his messenger bag in the floor and took our blanket out, then draped it over us. His ipod was in our ears within the next 2 minutes and his hand was in mine directly after that. My heart was starting to pound, but I swallowed hard and tried to calm the nervous feeling. I gave his hand a squeeze as the plane was beginning take off. It had been a long time since I’d been on a plane. Way before Mom had gotten sick. He ran his thumb over my hand and it soothed me a little bit.

“How long is the flight?” I whispered as I loosened my grip a little.

“An hour and a half. No stops or anything.” I nodded and looked at the clouds outside of the window. Levi gave my hand a comforting squeeze. A nap sounded pretty good…

“Levi…want to nap with me?” he chuckled low, and pulled up the armrest up between us.

“Sure. Sounds like a plan to me, brat. I get to snuggle with you though, since you have the window seat to lean on.” He was grinning as he leaned up against my shoulder with a smile. Eventually his breathing softened and I found myself dozing in the same way.

 

 

“Eren. Eren, wake up. We are about to land.” I rubbed at my eyes and sat up so I could buckle my seatbelt.

“Ughh.”

“Sleep alright?” I nodded and kept rubbing them as the blanket fell down. I felt that sinking feeling in my stomach as the plane began to climb down and we finally landed on the strip. We were in Boston. Levi stood up and grabbed his messenger bag, then began folding the blanket and tucking it back inside. “Alright, let’s head out. We need to check in to the hotel and then I have to head to the signing.” I nodded again and followed Levi off of the plane. We made it through baggage claim easily, and after calling a cab, we checked into the hotel easily.

“The signing is at 3, so by the time I shower and throw on some clothes, it’ll have just enough time to relax for a few minutes and head out.” Levi was standing by the door, looking through his stack of papers with a confused look. “Or is it 4? Shit…I don’t know. I need to call my manager.”

“Do you want me to clean the shower for you to save time?” I asked as he sifted through the papers. His mouth dropped open and he set the papers aside for a moment.

“Fuck. You really are the perfect boyfriend, Eren. If you don’t mind. The disinfectant spray and shower cleaner are in the front pocket of my bag. Thank you so much.” He leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss, before picking up his phone to call June Manga. I began spraying down the shower and the rest of the bathroom as I heard him chatting on the phone with his manager. I scrubbed the bathroom clean and started the shower for him when I heard him unzipping his bag. I sat the cans down on the counter as he walked into the bathroom and pulled off the rubber gloves. “Thanks babe. It is at 3. So I really don’t have a lot of time.” He was frowning as he threw his shower supplies on the edge of the tub.”

“No problem.” He threw his phone and wallet up on the counter and began stripping right in front of me and I stepped out of his way so he’d have more room. It wasn’t a cheap hotel by any means, but it sure wasn’t a honeymoon suite.

“Strip.” He said as he hopped up into the shower, splashing me with a bit of overspray.

“W-What?”

“Strip. I have a little bit of time to spend with you before I head out, and I plan on enjoying that time scrubbing you as a thank you. So get in here, Jaeger. You’ve got 3 seconds before I pull you in here and start ripping them off myself.” He said with a grin as he lathered up his hair. I pulled off my clothes faster than I can ever remember pulling them off and nearly tripped over the tub as I climbed in with him. “Wasn’t very hard to persuade you, was it?” His hands were on my hips, pulling me close and I let out a content sigh when his mouth found my collarbone.

“No, any chance I have to feel you touch me, I’ll take…”

“Desperate much?”

“To be with you? Yes. Just because I love you.” He leaned his head up to look up into my eyes and he smiled brightly and brought our lips together, licking over mine gently for entrance. We kissed slowly for a while, letting our hands wander over each other under the hot water, feeling every ripple, every scar, just enjoying each other. Feeling completely thankful to have found each other. We pulled apart eventually, both breathless, and chests heaving against one another.

“I-I love you too, Eren.” His head went to rest against my chest, wet hair feathering out against me. I recognized that tone of voice. The tone that was soft and subtle, but signified something deeper going on inside his mind. The gears were turning, he was thinking about something that was pulling him down.

“What’s wrong, Levi?” My hand was softly combing through his soaked hair, lightly massaging his scalp as I did. He sighed against my chest and he let his arms slip down to my lower back so he could hold onto me easier. I couldn’t see his face like this, but I could guess his expression.

“Just thinking about shit that I shouldn’t be at a time like this…” I pressed a kiss to his head and he hugged me tight. “It scares the shit out of me sometimes you know…being in love…” I reflected on his words for a moment and I realized how closely I related. It was terrifying how accurate they were.

“I know. It’s terrifying, but it’s also the best thing in the world.” It was the first thing that came out of my mouth, and I didn’t regret a single word of it. It was exactly how I felt, and I’m sure Levi knew that. He nodded and tensed against me.

“I’m just so afraid sometimes, Eren…that something will…just…never mind…” He tucked his head in closer and I felt him tense even more.

“No, Levi talk to me! I’m here to listen.” I put my fingers under his chin and tilted it up, forcing him to look me in the eyes. He looked petrified almost, and his eyes were watery, but he refused to let the tears slip past. “Please, I’m here for you…” I pressed a soft kiss his to his lips and felt them tremble against mine. He nodded and buried his head again.

“I’m so scared that…that I’ll lose you Eren…” I felt him hiccup against me, and I hugged him tighter.

“That’ll never happen. We both know that. We’ve got each other now, and that’s reason enough for us to keep going. I’m going to keep getting stronger, I’m trying my best for you, Levi…so, just don’t worry about that. I promise I’ll be strong. So strong that no one will be able to hurt me anymore!” I swallowed hard at the difficult promise, but I knew with enough work and enough determination I could accomplish it. He looked up at me with a shattered expression and I took his hand in mine and laced our fingers together. “Listen. You’ve given me a reason to go on, Levi. Why would I throw that away? I get scared shitless from my panic attacks sometimes, but I can always pull myself together when I think of you. You are my reason to keep on living.” A half-smile kept across his lips and he smiled at me as he nodded.

“Fuck…alright Eren…”

“But I know it’s still hard. I’m terrified after everything that happened with my mom…I know that things happen, but we can’t let that stop us from pouring our hearts out for each other. Fate brought us together, Levi. We make each other happy, right? There’s no point in fearing what might happen.” I gave him a smile and brought out lips together. I felt him smile against my lips and wrap his arms around my neck. We kissed for a while before pulling apart again. His frown was gone now, replaced by a relaxed expression now.

“You’re right, babe.” A kiss to my cheek and an actual smile this time. “There’s no point in worrying about the future. We should just plan it out how we want it to happen, right?” I nodded and hugged him again.

“Exactly. I want a happy future with you…if that’s what you want?”

“Of course I do, brat. Why else would I be whining about losing you?! Jeez. Pass me the body wash.” Levi teased and I grabbed his bottle off of the edge of the tub and handed it to him, along with his bath pouf. He poured a generous amount and the sweet smell drifted through the shower. I grabbed the shampoo and washed my hair as he washed his body, and he pulled me closer and began scrubbing me. I was completely okay with smelling like Levi. We began rinsing off just as the alarm on his phone started going off. “Right on time.” We hopped out and Levi shut it off. “Sorry it turned out like that…” I grabbed a towel off of the rack and wrapped it around him and pulled him into it, right up against me.

“It’s fine. Really. I want you to be okay for your signing.” He smiled at me and nodded.

“Thanks for listening.” He leaned up and kissed me, and I could see a light blush on his cheeks.

“No problem.”

“So, am I just hanging out here?” Levi frowned as he ran the towel over his head.

“If you don’t mind, stay in the room. I’d take you to the signing, but you’d get bored in two seconds and they really don’t want anyone setting at the table with me.” He huffed and finished drying off. I dried off myself and followed him into the bedroom. I just threw on some underwear and a t-shirt, while he dressed in business casual.

“You look great, Levi.” He smiled and hugged me around my waist.

“Thanks. You promise you’ll be okay here?” He was frowning as he stuffed his phone and wallet into his pocket, along with the extra key card. He smudged on some eyeliner quickly, finishing off his look.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve got your laptop. Endless anime right?”

“Yeah true. Just don’t go into a Shingeki coma, please.” He chuckled and I walked him to the door.

“Alright, I promise.” We kissed once more and he waved goodbye and called a cab as he began walking down the hallway. I sighed, then shut and locked the door. Great, I was here alone until at least 6. What to do… I looked at the bed and cringed. Wait…was I turning into Levi? I turned to his suitcase and unzipped the second pocket to find the set of sheets. I stripped the bed and changed out the sheets before I jumped in with his laptop.

I killed a good two and a half hours reading the Shingeki manga online, before I got bored. I set his laptop on the table and sighed. Levi really did look like the captain. And his pen name WAS the same as the title of the captain in the series after all…I wonder if it was a coincidence. I’d have to ask him about that tonight. I glanced at the clock and groaned. Still at least 45 minutes until he was home. I closed my eyes and pictured Levi’s face. A blush crept over my cheeks as I imagined him in the Scout Legion uniform. The white jeans just hugging every curve just right… Not to mention those leather straps. How they buckled and tugged in just the perfect spots. Right around his thighs, all the way down his legs to the tops of his thigh high boots. And the boots were ALL leather. Tight and shining, and they even had a slight heel…SHIT. My eyes shot open and I directed my attention to other areas.

Fuck…Did I really get a boner thinking about Levi in a Scout uniform?! I whimpered as I ran my hand over the bulge in my underwear. I was painfully hard and I just couldn’t get the thought of Levi as the captain out of my head. Shit! And it didn’t seem like it was going away on it’s own… I sighed and slipped my hand down my boxers. I did have 45 minutes until Levi was back and I was really bored…

I pictured Levi’s face and I let my hand slide over my length and I let out a shudder. I imagined that it was actually him touching me instead, and not my own hand sliding into my underwear. Fuck it. I just pulled them completely off and tossed them on the edge of the bed. I let out a whimper as I took my cock into my hand and shut my eyes.

“L-Levi.” I pumped my cock a couple of times as I pictured him slipping out of the green cloak, down to the captain’s white button up. Down to that damn sexy cravat that was tied just so perfect. My cock throbbed at the thought. Shit! His hands would wonder down to the buckles of his harness and start to undo the main buckles, but he would leave the ones around his thighs, and he would leave that cravat on, because it just clung so tight. I gave my cock a few more pumps as I pictured him slipping further out of the gear and pulling himself out of the jeans.

“Levi!” I cried out his name as I stroked myself just as I heard the door click open and I froze. SHIT. I turned to face Levi and I threw a blanket over myself and tried to hide my red face with my arm. Levi’s eyes went wide for a moment, but he quickly shut the door behind him and locked it.

“Hello, Eren…I thought you were supposed to be watching anime?” He was grinning as he walked over to me slowly. Shit, shit shit…

“I-I ugh…ugh…” He took off his jacket and tossed it in the chair by the bed. He had a devious grin on his face.

“You? You what? You were thinking about me while I was gone? Weren’t expecting me back so soon?” he chuckled and climbed on the bed with me, straddling me with only the covers and his clothing separating us. I nodded and tried to keep hiding my cheeks. I was mortified. I gently took my wrist in his hand and pulled it away from my face. “You don’t have to hide you know…any of this.” He rolled to my side and flipped the blanket back, making my cock stand at attention out in the open. “Because you are fucking exquisite, Eren.” He ran his hand lightly over my thigh and I shivered.

“Levi…” He smiled and stripped off his own pants and shirt, before sliding next to me and pulling my shirt off.

“Every fucking inch of you is glorious…” I felt more red rushing to my cheeks, but I just watched his hands closely, slowly coasting over my skin. “I missed you while I was gone, Eren. You know that?”

“I missed you too.” I pouted a bit as I said it and reach for him. He closed the little bit of distance between us and took me into his arms, crashing our lips together. As we kissed, I felt his hand coasting over my chest, gently rubbing lower and lower, down from my chest, my abdomen, past my belly button, and it stopped right above where I REALLY wanted him to touch. He froze his hand right on my hips and had me squirming. He pulled back and gave me that same scheming look.

“What were you thinking about, Eren?” He whispered in my ear as his fingers stroked over my hip bone. I whimpered and turned my face into his neck. “I heard you calling out my name when I walked in, so you can’t get out of that one. Were you thinking about the way I suck you?” I dug my face deeper and gave his shoulder a squeeze, but I shook my head.

“N-No…”

“Tell me then?” His voice was low and throaty, and it was absolutely driving me crazy. “Maybe you were thinking about the day you were grinding on me so hard in the shower you came everywhere? Huh?” I shook my head again and I wanted him to touch me so bad that my eyes were stinging with tears.

“Leviiii.”

“Tell me and I’ll touch you.”

“Fuck.” He chuckled and pressed a kiss to my lips.

“You’re so cute when you’re frustrated.” I sighed and gave his shoulder another squeeze.

“I was thinking…about how much you looked like the captain in Shingeki no Kyojin. About how you’d look in the uniform…”

“Tsk tsk tsk…naughty brat.” I felt his lips on my neck and his hand dropped the last little bit of the way down to my cock and I cried out. “Shhhh, Eren. Quiet. We’ve got neighbors here.” My eyes watered and started leaking tears as he finally touched me and I almost started shaking, because it felt so damn good.

“Levi!” he gave me a smirk and kissed me for a few moments, roaming his other hand all over the rest of me as we did. Knotting it in my hair, running it down my neck, swiping it over my chest.

“Shhhhh… Eren, I normally love for you to be as loud as you want, but I don’t want noise complaints. The next room we get, I’ll pay to have us upgraded to a suite away from everyone, but for now…” I was writhing on the bed, just catching bits and pieces of what he was saying. The next thing I knew his fingers were in my mouth and I began to suck on them, not knowing what else to do with them. “That should keep you quiet.” I nodded and kept licking at them.

“Mhmmm.” His hand on me felt like fire and I bucked up into his touch. I reach out for him, and he grinned before pulling his fingers out of my mouth for a moment.

“What is it? Want to touch me?” I nodded and pulled at the band of his underwear. He pulled them off and tossed them aside and replaced his fingers and his hand on my length, making me moan around his fingers. FUCK. I wrapped my hand around his cock as he worked me into a frenzy, stroking and making me nearly bite down on his fingers from the intensity of the pleasure. “Fuck! That’s it Eren.” I nodded, completely carried away by the sensations around me. I was trying to focus on pleasuring Levi, but he’d taken me too far away. “S-So tell me Eren.” I groaned around his fingers, then he took them around as he stopped stroking to ask me his question. I kept up with my motions, bringing him closer to the edge. “What is so great about me in a scout uniform?” he smirked and I nearly lost it.

“E-Everything.”

“Everything? Let’s see-SHIT!” I gave him a hard squeeze and nearly made him double over. He was breathing hard and he gave me a grin. “T-the cloak? No s’gotta be the leather straps.” I swallowed hard and nodded.

“Whole thing. White jeans too.” I admitted as I ran my tongue over my lips. He nodded with my answer, finally satisfied, and his fingers were back in my mouth again, while his other hand returned to my cock to work me hard. I whimpered around his fingers and looked at him through heavily lidded eyes. I was practically drooling around his fingers in my mouth, but he paid it no attention as he pumped me harder and faster. “Mphhh.” I arched up and unintentionally bit down on his fingers as I came, spilling everything into his hand, but continuing my best to pump him along with me as I went.

“Shit! Eren!” The sigh of my own orgasm must have sent him over the edge as well, because I felt hot shoot into my own hand. The fingers were pulled out of my mouth and wiped on the pillow beside of me.

“S-Sorry.” I breathed it hard and turned to look at him.

“It’s alright.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and collapsed beside of me. “Nap before dinner?” he breathed out as he threw the blanket over us.

“Definitely.” I snuggled closer to him and shut my eyes, dozing off almost immediately.

 

We woke up around 8pm that night and I rubbed at my eyes as Levi shook me awake.

“What do you want to do for dinner?”

“Ngmmm.” He chuckled against my head and pressed a kiss to it.

“I feel the same way. How about we order in?” I nodded and buried myself closer.

“Who’s gonna put clothes on to get the food? Ugh…” I shut my eyes against him and just breathed in his scent. It’d been a while since we could just lay here like this and not worry about anything.

“Not it!” He gave me an apologetic hug and I grinned against him.

“Not fair!”

“Wasn’t supposed to be! It’s your punishment, brat!”

“My punishment?!” My eyes popped open and I looked up at him in amazement.

“Yeah, you got the sheets dirty.” He was smirking at me.

“SO?! Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it!”

“Jaeger is getting brave, huh?!” I brought my lips to his and he smiled into the kiss.

“Maybe…”

“Okay, I’ll order the pizza. You answer the door naked. Deal?”

“NO!”

“Well put your underwear on at least then!” He was laughing now and it set my heart on fire. I leaned our foreheads together and joined in with his laughter. His hands were on me and my heart just self so light. Everything just felt so perfect.

“Fine, fine. Underwear.” I searched through the blankets and finally found my underwear and slid them on. Levi reluctantly did the same after he ordered the pizza with the app on his phone. “Who decided pizza anyways?” I teased as I leaned back against him.

“I just assumed it was okay. There was a discount code on the table.” He pointed to the tv guide by the bed and shrugged. “We do eat pizza a lot…” I grinned and leaned over to kiss him again.

“Pizza is fine, I’m joking.” He rolled his eyes at me.

“Damn, brat. You’re full of it today.” He reach his hand to my side and began wiggling his fingers, tickling me.

“AGHHGHAAHAHA!! LEVI!! STOP!!! HAHAHAAHA!!” I tried to pull away from the sharp tickling but he leaned forward and kept assaulting me, making my eyes water. He landed on top of me, bringing his fingers all the way down my stomach. “GAHAHAHA!!! LEVI! LEEEEVIIIIHAHA!” I tried to tickle him back and he started tickling harder, but he began laughing like a maniac.

“Fucking brat! HAHAHA!” I rolled, and actually rolled too far, knocking us both into the floor with a thud. “Shit! Hahaha! You alright?”

“Ha! Fine, I’m fine!” I squirmed out from under Levi and wiped the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard. “We are going to get a noise complaint.”

“Oh well, better from laughter then from you moaning my name.” he said with a wink.

“Levi!” I buried my face against his thigh.

“Well it’s true!” We heard a knock on the door and I stood up. “Damn, talk about fast pizza. My wallet is in my pants. ” I walked to the door after grabbing the money and looked through the eye hole to make sure it was the pizza guy and sure enough it was. He gave me a funny look to see me only in my underwear, but quite frankly, I didn’t give a fuck.

“Thanks!” I tipped him generously for having to see me half-naked and carried the goods inside. I set the two liter on the table as well as the pizza and bread sticks and grinned at Levi who was now pulling on his shirt. “But I like to see you without your shirt on.” He just rolled his eyes again and shook his head.

“Come on, let’s eat.” We sat down at the small desk/table and ate dinner together, chatting about his book signing.

“So why exactly was it cut short again?” I asked as I dipped my breadstick in the marinara sauce.

“They said they needed to close early for an event tonight.” Levi shrugged and crossed his arms. “Kind of rude if you ask me.” I stuffed the rest of the breadstick in my mouth and nodded.

“Yeah, it is. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Where are we tomorrow?”

“Another signing in Pittsburg. We have to get up really early for our flight if I remember right. I wrote it down. Everything is in my binder. Can you hand it to me?” I nodded and wiped off my hands before I reach across to his bag and pulled out his notebook. He flipped through and found it. “Yeah, our flight leaves at 3AM.”

“UGHHH WHY?!”

“You’re the one that wanted to come with me, Jaeger.”

“LEVIIIIII!” I groaned and leaned my head against his shoulder with a sigh. “I didn’t want to be away from you….I guess if it means waking up before 3, I’ll do it…” he chuckled and pressed a kiss to my head.

“Thanks babe. I really am glad you came. It really sucks to be away from you, you know.” I nodded against his shoulder and pulled away to start on a slice of pizza.

“Levi…can I ask you a question?” He picked up a breadstick and began munching on it but nodded at me. “Where did you pen name come from, if it wasn’t from SNK?” He raised his eyebrow, but swallowed his bite of bread.

“My Nana actually…I was having trouble coming up with a name. Rivaille was the last name of an old aristocrat back in France she knew. And Heichou, well that’s how he made his money apparently. He was a captain of a ship, so I just changed it to the Japanese version of that.

“Really?! That’s amazing!” He grinned and dipped the end of his bread stick into the marinara sauce.

“Nana thought so. She was in love with my pen name. She loved my manga actually. I’ve dedicated everyone to her…The one’s she didn’t get to read at least.” Levi frowned and set his breadstick aside.

“Sorry…I didn’t mean to…” He shook he head and gave me a half smile.

“No. No, it’s not your fault, Eren. I can’t get gloomy every time I think about her. I need to try to start being more positive.” I rubbed his thigh and nodded a little.

“She’d want you to be happy, right?”

“Exactly. She’d be proud that her grandson is doing so well with what he loves, Levi.” He nodded and smiled. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him in a tight hug.

“Thanks, Eren. Really. I don’t know what I’d do without my brat sometimes.” He said with a grin.

“Hey!” he pinched at my cheek and picked his breadstick up again.

“Eat up Eren. We need to hit the bed early. We’ve got an early morning.”

“Fine.” We finished up our dinner and both took our showers before hopping into the ‘dirty’ sheets.

Levi was actually in lounge pants and a long sleeve shirt for once, and I was in my underwear and a t-shirt again. I felt strange sleeping in my underwear if he wasn’t. He was sitting on his laptop typing as I walked into the bedroom, towel drying my still damp hair. He shut his laptop suddenly and grinned at me.

“Porn?”

“No Jaeger! Why would I need porn when I’ve got you?!” He narrowed his eyes as he set his laptop to the side.

“Hmmm let me guess then…I’m gonna be upset if it’s another guy on the side…so hopefully not that.” I tossed my towel back towards the bathroom and plopped on the bed beside of him.

“Obviously not.” He ruffled my hair and I laid my head in his lap. “Baka, I’m happy with you. I don’t want anyone else.” I smiled against his thigh and yawned.

“Hmmm…then something you don’t want me to see? I don’t know. Too tired to think. Jet lag…” He brushed my bangs back and kept stroking my hair gently.

“What’s in a little over a week, brat?”

“School? Blahhhh.” I groaned against his leg and tried to pull the covers over my head. “Don’t wanna! Don’t make me…”

“No! Your birthday idiot!”

“Oh! Yeah…” I smiled as I looked up at him and tried to climb off of the bed to reach for his laptop.

“NO! YOU’LL SPOIL IT!” He had his arms hooked around my waist as I grabbed for it.

“LEVIIIIIIII!!!! WANNA SEE! WANNA!! LEMME LOOK! JUST A PEEK!”

“NO!” He slung me back against the pillows and silenced me with a kiss. He forced his tongue into my mouth and I was perfectly fine with leaving the laptop on the fucking floor if he was going to kiss me like this and run his hand over my chest like that.

“Mhmm…..kay…” I relaxed against the pillows and he pulled back with a satisfied grin.

“That was easy.”

“You are good at distracting me…” I leaned up off of the pillows to meet his lips again and he gave me another kiss, just a brief one this time, but he tasted just as sweet. He pulled away with a sigh.

“Sorry Eren. We should probably go to sleep…” I frowned and looked at the clock. It was 10:30 now. Shit…I attempted to do the math in my head. If our flight was at 3…blah blah blah…. 4 hours….4 hours?!

“Yeah, not that long.” Levi frowned and rolled off of the bed to turn off the light. I caught his arm as the panic rose up in me.

“Levi!” He turned towards me and froze with his hand on the light switch.

“Yeah? What’s wrong?!” I felt my heart begin to pound. I should have brought the night light…I didn’t think about the looming dark. The overwhelming black of the room…the….I felt my skin begin to crawl and my hand tightened over his wrist. “Eren?!” My gaze shot up to him and I shook my head.

“I ugh….it’s going to be dark in here…” Levi sighed and took his hand off of the light switch to sit down on the edge of the bed. He rubbed his face and I could tell he was a bit frustrated. “I’m sorry…I don’t mean to annoy you, Levi.” He brought his face up immediately and took my hand in his and gave it a firm squeeze.

“It’s nothing like that, Eren. I promise. I’m just trying to think this through, and I’m a little tired to think is all. We may be able to find a store tomorrow, but tonight we’ll have to come up with something. We can’t really sleep with the lamp on, and the flashing of the television drives me absolutely insane.”

“W-Well I’ll be fine. It’s okay.”

“No Eren. It’s not okay. I don’t want you to be too terrified to sleep.” I frowned and he stood up and stretched. “We’re pretty far up aren’t we?”

“8th floor.”

“I wonder if the moon is out.” He opened the thick brown curtain to reveal the night sky, and sure enough, there was a slight haze of the sky, at least enough of a tinge to light up the room slightly. “It’s not a whole lot of light though…”

“It’s fine, Levi.”

“Eren…”

“Please Levi, just get into bed and hold me. If you’re here, I’ll be fine.” He sighed and reluctantly shut off the lamp, leaving just the faint moonlight to light the room. He settled back into bed and I snuggled up against his side. He drew me even closer, letting me rest my head in the crook of his shoulder. I was safe, and although the darkness was nearly overwhelming, Levi was here to protect me. Hopefully the nightmares would stay away. Hopefully the panic wouldn’t surface.

“Babe, if you need me, please say so. I’m right here. Okay?”

“Alright.” I draped my arm across his chest and shut my eyes. 2AM was going to come fast, that was for sure.

“I love you, Eren.” It was barely a whisper, but it was low and meaningful. Meant as a promise of sweet dreams as well.

“I love you too, Levi.”


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The adventure continues. Airports, hotels, and a sudden snowstorm!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'm currently working on real plot at the moment, but the boys are on vacation right? RIGHT? *looks around nervously and hides* 
> 
> **ALSO, Guys Seven Lions will be touring in the US soon if you are interested! I may be going!! GAAAAAH!!!  
>  [Check out the locations here!!! ](http://www.songkick.com/artists/4517963-seven-lions)**

Eren’s POV

“Ereeeen. Brat. Braaaaat.” I felt my body being shaken and I opened my eye to see Levi staring at me.

“Ngnnnnnn.”

“So it’s a baby llama this morning?” I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut again. “Nope. Keep them open, Jaeger. We gotta get up.”

“Llama?”

“Yes, llama. Carl will kill people.”

“Llama has a hat?”

“Yes. Get up, I’ve got to get the sheets off of the bed. It’s 2:10, I’ve been trying to wake you up for ten minutes.”

“Leviiii….” I reach for him and collapsed against the pillow. I must’ve dozed back off at some point, because I felt myself being moved and dumped into a chair, which I was perfectly fine with. I was slipping in and out of sleep. I heard grumbling and sheets rustling, but then I heard an odd sound. A phone ringing?

“EREN!?”

“AGH!” My eyes popped open at the sound of Hanji’s voice. I looked around and sure enough, she was right in front of me on video call. “H-HANJI?!

“EREN!!!! HIIIII! Levi told me you wanted to talk to me!”

“Not real….” I began dozing off again and her screeching voice came across the screen.

“EREN!!!!” My head popped up. “WAKE UP!!!! TALK TO ME!!! Levi REALLY asked me to wake you up, you cutie you!” I looked across the room and Levi was digging through his bag, looking for an outfit probably.

“M-okay. How is everything?”

“Good! I went to Anteiku yesterday!”

“Good?” I shrugged and rubbed at my eyes. I could actually see her now, past the first cloudiness of the morning. I heard a funny sound in the corner of the room and Levi disappeared for a moment, only to bring me a Styrofoam cup of coffee. He mixed in sugar and powdered creamer before handing it to me.

“It’s hot, brat. Don’t burn yourself.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek and I looked at the steaming cup of wake me up. Ugh. Sweet coffee. Where have you been this morning?

“Thanks.” I watched Levi walk away and smiled as he grabbed his outfit and walked into the bathroom.

“Such a sweetie you’ve got, Eren! Anyways, I went to Anteiku, and guess who was hanging out there on his day off?!” I sipped the coffee and nearly spit it out. Shit. It was awful. I was definitely spoiled by Anteiku’s coffee as well as the caramel coffee Levi made me in the mornings.

“Who?” I nearly chugged the dirt down, partly because I was exhausted and partly because Levi had went through the trouble to make it for me.

“Jean!”

“That’s nice, Hanji…” Maybe he’d mistaken the ground coffee for potting soil? Everyone makes mistakes right? I shuddered as I took another chug.

“And he wasn’t there alone! He was with a guy!” My eyes went wide and I leaned forward.

“Okay?”

“On a DATE!!!”

“Wait, how do you know it was a date?”

“He was wearing a button up, and they were I don’t know- HOLDING HANDS!!!”

“OH! WOW….” Maybe it was…well…I sighed and rubbed my eyes. It was too early for this. WAY too early. “What did the guy look like?”

“Brown hair, freckles, tall. Kinda awkward. He looked sweet though!” Yulp, definitely Marco.

“Wow, I’m glad they got together. Hopefully it works out. Marco really likes him I think.”

“It looked pretty mutual! Well anyways, you look pretty awake now! I’ve got a paper to finish up. Thanks for the break! Have a good flight Eren! Be safe!”

“Have a good one, Hanji! Thanks!” We signed off and I stood up, lazily grabbing whatever out of my bag and throwing it on.

“Hmmm….Tripp pants and a grey and white striped sweater?” Levi said with a raised eyebrow. “I’d lose the pants…and not just for the fact that I like you without pants, but for the fact that we’ll make it through security easier.” He said with a snort.

“Huh?” I looked down and frowned. “Shit…” I took the tripp pants off and threw on a pair of jeans instead. “Better?”

“You look fine.” Levi chuckled and started shoving his stuff back in his bag. “Finish getting ready, and we can go.” I nodded and after rushing through the rest of my routine and grabbing my phone we checked out. We practically ran through the airport and somehow managed to make it to our flight early.

 

I groaned and leaned against Levi as soon as we were on the plane.

“Fuck. How do you do this, Levi?” He flipped the armrest up and put his arms around me, letting me lean further into him.

“Determination?” He chuckled lightly and threw the blanket over us. “Go back to sleep for a while Eren. We’ve got an hour and a half flight for this one, then a switch over in New York, then another two hour flight to Pittsburg.”

“Ugh…” He kissed the top of my head and I sighed. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I know. I’m very lucky actually.” He chuckled again lightly and hugged me before letting me relax against him. The ipod was in next, and before we knew it, we were asleep.

The switch over was hectic. We managed to find coffee that didn’t taste like dirt, however we didn’t manage to find the right gate. We nearly missed our flight, and Levi had to beg the people to let us on the plane. He got us on just in time. We sat down and I was too amped up and nervous to sleep again. I felt like shit to be honest. I sat there nervously and held his hand.

“You alright?” He was drawing in his sketchbook, but he paused to look up at me. No way I could draw like that. He had his legs crossed and the sketchbook was balanced on his knee just perfectly as he sketched with his right hand as he held my hand with his left. We had pretty much just ran on the plane and sat down, without much discussion over the window this time.

“Just a little nervous…Not sure why.” He frowned and set his sketchbook aside.

“Probably because we nearly missed our flight. It’s alright. We made it.” He gave me a smile and squeezed my hand. I nodded and leaned against him. Eventually I did calm down, and we arrived in Pittsburg, where it happened to be snowing.

 

“Didn’t expect this.” Levi said as we rolled our luggage to the cab and got in. The cab took us to the hotel and as we got out the snow and wind began to pick up. We walked to the front desk to check in.

“Can I upgrade to a suite if you have one available?” The lady at the desk typed through her keyboard for a minute and nodded.

“All we have is a honeymoon suite. Will that be okay? It’s only got one king size bed. It’s already set up.” She giggled and Levi smirked.

“That’s fine. Just put the extra on this card. My company only pays for certain rooms, so if I want anything extra, it’s up to me.” He handed his card across the desk and she slid it and reach him the key cards.

“Enjoy your stay!” We walked to the elevator and took it all the way to the top floor of the hotel.

“Guess this is it.” Our room was the only one on the floor and Levi slid the card through the slot, unlocking the door. It was defiantly spacious. There was a huge bed in the center of the room, and I poked my head in the bathroom. There was a shower as well as a giant 2 person jet tub. “Hmm…not bad.” I rolled my bag up against the dresser and looked at the clock. It was 9:30 now, still pretty early. I yawned and walked towards the bed. “WOAH, WOAH, WOAH. Nope. Hold it.”

“UGH, LEVI. I want a nap.”

“Not on those sheets.”

“We only have full size sheets.” I groaned.

“We’ll have to go shopping then.” My eye twitched and I nearly screamed. My boyfriend was insane. I swear. I sighed and took his hand in mine.

“We’re going to buy sheets?”

“Yeah.” Maybe this is what Erwin had meant by his OCD driving you to insanity sometimes. But it didn’t matter. It’s what made Levi, Levi. And the more I thought about it, the more I really didn’t want to lay on those sheets.

“Okay…can I have coffee too?”

“Sure.” I nodded and slipped on his Trost hoodie. It was pretty chilly here. Levi dialed the same cab company and we walked back downstairs to wait. The snow was really coming down, sticking to the road. We stood outside as we waited, holding hands and huddling close. “We could have waited inside you know, brat…”

“Wanted to snuggle with you.” I grinned and white puffs of breath came out from my lips. Levi just shook his head and leaned closer to me. The snow was pouring down around us, sticking to our hair in clumps. “Take a picture with me, Levi!”

“Okay, get your phone. My hands are staying in my pockets.” I smiled and took the first picture. Levi looked miserable.

“Will you smile?”

“I’m cold!”

“Pleaaaaase! I want my awesome boyfriend that I love to smile in my snow picture!” His eyes went wide and he instantly blushed, but his lips curled up at the corners.

“Fine, fine. Come here.” His hand came out of his pocket and it was around my shoulder, pulling me closer. Our cheeks were nearly touching as I took the picture, but he was indeed smiling. He even had a hint of remaining pink on his cheeks. I pulled back and took a picture of just him smiling, with the snow floating around him. “Here, give me your phone. I’ll give you a bonus picture.” I handed him my phone, half expecting him to delete the picture I took of him alone, but he pulled me in for a kiss instead and my knees nearly went limp. I heard the phone go off a few times, and he stuffed it back in my pocket, but he didn’t stop kissing me. He just wrapped his arms the rest of the way around my lower back and deepened the kiss, not caring what the rest of the world thought about us.

My heart was pounding. For a split second, we were back at home in the street, but then I realized this is what it was like to not worry. To start new and develop a fresh life. I swallowed hard and melted against him, right into his arms. No worries of the police being called or someone I knew seeing us. It was just me and Levi. And the love we had together, growing and thriving. We pulled apart softly, placing a final kiss to each other’s lips and gently nuzzling our cheeks together.

“Warmer now.” I smiled and didn’t want to let go, but our cab was pulling up to the curb. “Come on, Eren. The sooner we go, the sooner we can take a nap.” I followed him into the cab and we drove to the local Walmart to look for sheets. By the time we arrived, there was already 4 inches of snow on the parking lot.

“Ugh…Levi. Is this weather supposed to get worse? It’s still pretty early here…”

“I’m not sure. Grab a few snacks while were here, just in case.”

“Okay.” We grabbed a cart and threw in a 12 pack of soda, along with snack cakes, combos (thanks to Levi’s new obsession, pretzels, candy, and some granola bars. Then we found a sheet set that wasn’t awful and tossed it in the cart, along with two small plug in night lights, since we couldn’t find any table top ones.

“These are green, will it matter?”

“No…I don’t think so.” He looked at the packaging and frowned.

“Hopefully they work okay.”

“They should be fine. It’s the dark that triggers my nightmares I think, so if I can stop that, I should be good. I was fine last night anyways.”

“Alright.” By the time we checked out and headed back for the cab, another inch had accumulated. We made it back to the hotel safely, thankfully. I helped Levi carry the bags up, and I unpacked everything as he changed out the sheets on the bed.

“Usually I’d like to wash them first, but we don’t really get that chance.” He shrugged as he pulled the last corner into place. He pulled the blankets over top and sat down. I joined him on the bed and laid back. I was REALLY tired now. A nap was defiantly called for. I looked at the clock. It was 11 now, if I remember right, Levi’s signing was at 2 today. We’d have enough time for a small nap together. His phone began ringing in his pocket and he pulled it out.

“Hello?” I looked to Levi and he frowned. “Canceled? Oh…” He sighed heavily and his own hand went up into his hair to ease his frustration. “No, thanks though. You can call my manager and reschedule for next time. Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah I have to be in another city tomorrow. Oh, a storm? I had no idea. Yeah, I’ll check it out. Thanks. Bye.” Levi sighed and hung up the phone.

“Who was that?” I asked as my head found his thigh again.

“It was the general manager of the Barnes and Noble. My signing has been fucking canceled today. They are closing the mall down due to weather.”

“What?!” I sat up and looked at Levi.

“Yeah, apparently there’s a storm coming through?” He pulled up the forecast on his phone for the area and his brow furrowed. “Oh…” I leaned over and looked at the screen.

“18-22 inches by 9AM tomorrow…Oh my God! Levi!” he chuckled and leaned back against the pillows.

“So, Chinese takeout now? If we order it now, we might actually have something to eat later that’s not junk food.”

“Sure.” Levi flipped through the phone book and after cringing at a few of the restaurants we decided on a place and placed an order. “After we eat a little, we can nap. Especially since I don’t have anywhere to go now.” He frowned and looked out the window. Snow was still fluttering down, making the sky white. My eyes kept fluttering closed as we waited for food, but Levi’s constant conversation kept me semi-conscious. Well that and the promise of cheese wantons.

The food showed up quickly surprisingly and we demolished some of it. We were sure to order extra for dinner and Levi stored it away in the fridge. Afterwards, we snuggled up in bed together and exhaustion and jet lag quickly took over, pulling us both down into a much needed nap.

When I woke up, Levi wasn’t in the bed. I freaked out for a second, but then I had to calm myself down and realize he was probably just in the shower. I glanced at the clock and sighed. It was 5:30 already?! I stood up and walked to the bathroom. The cans of cleaner were setting on the counter and the water was running in the shower.

“Levi?”

“You’re up?”

“Yeah.” The water shut off and Levi stepped out of the shower and down onto the matt.

“Good. You’ve been asleep for forever, but I didn’t want to wake you up. You were so worn out. Rinse off and get in the tub.”

“B-But.”

“Just do it.” I felt red creep into my cheeks but I nodded and I hopped up into the shower to rinse off and I heard the water begin to run in the tub. No doubt Levi had already scrubbed it clean. I went ahead and washed myself with his body wash, rinsed then hopped out. Levi wasn’t in the bathroom. The tub was only ¼ of the way full, and I went ahead and hopped into it to wait for Levi. The hot water felt good on my tired muscles, and I bet it’d feel even better once it was the rest of the way up.

“Hey Jaeger.” I looked up to see Levi walking into the bathroom and my heart dropped into my stomach. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. He smirked and leaned against the doorframe. He was dressed now. And for a second, I thought, why would he get dressed, just to get into the tub with me, but now I knew! Was this for me?!

He had a black t-shirt on, with black skinny jeans, but to be honest, that wasn’t the part I was interested in. I was interested in what the jeans were tucked into. Black leather high-heeled boots. And when I say high heeled boots, I mean 5-6 inch heeled boots. My jaw dropped open at the sight, and my eyes trailed up to his face, where right elegantly resting on his nose, were a pair of black framed glasses. Mother of everything holy….did I drown in the shower? Surely I did…

“If you don’t pick that jaw up, you’ll drown in the tub, Eren.” He said with a smirk. All I could do was nod as I kept letting my eyes trail back and forth from glasses to boots. The fucking black leather boots with the buckles and zips. They had to have been a different pair. Levi said he had taken them back, right? These had a pretty thick heel after all. “Tell me, Eren…” The way he said my name shot electricity through my body and nearly made me pant. “What are you thinking about more? The glasses? Or...” He bent his knee and stuck it up on the edge of the tub so I could look at his boot. “The shoes?” I whimpered as I watched the muscles in his legs flex and nearly sunk below the water.

“C-Combination.” He chuckled and pulled off his shirt. Was death an option? I think so…I could die happy right here…I’d be JUST fine. I pulled myself up a bit as I watched him walk around to the side of the tub. He motioned for me to turn towards him and I did, pushing my back up against the edge of the tub. His fingers were on my shoulders within seconds, beginning to knead the knots out of the tired muscles. I let out a whimper and my eyes nearly rolled back in my head.

“So tense, Eren. I really need to fix that you know.” I nodded without thinking and I heard a low chuckle. Levi’s lips were then added to the mix, landing on my neck as he leaned over the edge of the tub. I could feel the frames of the glasses pressing against my skin and it made me shudder. “Hmm, I was going to tease you a little more with the boots, but the water seems pretty nice. Mind if I join you?” I made a sound I didn’t even recognize and he chuckled again. “One last look before I unzip, babe?” I opened my eyes and he walked around the edge of the tub, leaning his whole leg up on the edge this time to show off the leather and chains. HOLY SHIT. He was more than flexible… He winked at me through the glasses and brought his leg back down I heard a chain rattle and the boots unzip before his pants were off and he was joining me in the tub. The glasses were still on, and MY GOD, did they look fucking delicious.

He sighed as the water rose up over him and the next thing I knew, he was right up against me, with those perfect pink lips on me, kissing, licking, caressing. I kissed back with everything I had, even twining my fingers in his hair. Levi was everything I wanted and everything I had. Everything I could ever hope for. He was my future and I didn’t want anyone else. I pushed all of those feelings into the kiss and he reciprocated every single one, pushing me right up against the edge of the tub. One of his hands was leaving feather light, dripping wet touches down my neck, while the other was looped around my middle, holding me close.

We were sliding against each other, leaving nothing to the imagination. I felt my cheeks burning, as well as the familiar need down below. Levi had certainly struck a chord in me the second he walked through that door. He chuckled against me and pulled back for a moment to take his glasses off.

“You are rough on a man with glasses, brat.” He winked at me as he carefully folded them up and set them aside. “I just don’t want to drop them in the tub is all.” I blushed as he carefully put them back on the far corner of the tub and sunk back down against me. His thigh was rubbing against mine, and I could feel the strong muscles underneath the surface of the water. His hands found my shoulders again and he continued to rub out the knots that had somehow managed to find their way there.

“L-evi.” I jerked as he hit a tender spot and he yanked his hand back, looking startled. I furrowed my brow and rolled my shoulder a bit. “No. Please keep going. Sorry. Didn’t mean…” Words. Were they even a thing? His fingers were back on the sore spot, carefully rubbing, and although it hurt for a moment, he massaged the kink out until it felt better. My own hands found his shoulders at the same time and began rubbing as well, causing his arms to drop down, to my dismay. But I just smiled and let Levi fall against me for a while, as I repaid the favor and worked out the tension in his own shoulders. His chin found my shoulder and his arms wound around my waist as we pretty much floated together in the tub.

“Mhmm…” I smiled as I rubbed at the tight muscles. Damp raven hair stuck to my arm as I kneaded his shoulders and it looked stunning. I could never get over just how jet black his hair really was. I pressed a kiss to his head and he wiggled against me a little. “Getting antsy?” He chuckled again. That low chuckle that drove me absolutely insane and I grinned.

“Maybe.”

“Hmmm…” His hands began to wonder a bit further than my waist and my hands clamped down on his shoulder as his hand closed down around me under the water.

“L-LEVI!”

“You are a little impatient, Hmm?” I shuddered and he drew back from me a bit, pressing a few more kisses to my neck, and down my chest a bit.

“W-When you touch me like that, YES!” He smirked and gave me another squeeze. I bucked up into his hand and he winked at me again.

“I can’t help it. I like to touch you. Let’s take this to the bed.” He grabbed his glasses from the edge of the tub and slid them on, and I felt my cock throb. Fuck. He leaned in to give me another deep kiss and my thoughts were swirling down the drain with the water. “I brought something special for tonight to play with.” His words made my thoughts snap right back however, and a little bit of panic rose inside of me as he pulled me up out of the tub. What?! Wait…Had he gotten the honeymoon suite for a reason?! Was he ready!? WAS I READY?! He wrapped me up in a towel and pulled me up against him, pressing more kisses along my jaw and neck. “Eren? You alright? You went quiet…”

“Mhmm…”

“Liar.” I hid my frown in the nape of his neck. My heart was pounding and quite frankly I was terrified, but maybe I was ready now? I couldn’t keep Levi waiting forever… I held onto him as he dried me off and felt his own steady heart beating against me.

“I’m fine, Levi. Just take me to bed.” He placed a kiss to my shoulder and we finished drying off. The blankets were turned down and there was a small bottle setting on the bedside table. God…he REALLY did want that. I felt my knees give out and he caught me and pulled me up against his side.

“Fuck! Eren?!” I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face against his chest. Why was I so scared?! This was Levi. The same Levi that always took care of me. The same Levi that watched the sunset with me. The Levi that rescued me. My prince. He wouldn’t hurt me, would he? “What’s wrong?!” I breathed out against him and shook my head. The next thing I knew we were up on the bed and I was against him, buried against his side. “Tell me what’s wrong!” I was mortified…

“I…I’m just a little…scared…” He frowned and took my hand in his.

“Babe, why are you scared?” He grabbed the bottle off of the table and placed it in my other hand. “It’s just flavored lube. I thought it’d be fun, but we don’t have to use it. We don’t even have to keep going if you are worrying about anything.” My eyes went wide as I looked at the label.

“Banana?” He smiled softly and nodded.

“Yeah. It’s banana flavored.” The knots in my stomach eased up a little bit. The mood was a little lighter, so I let out a sigh. “We need to talk about this Eren. You know I’m not going to pressure you into anything. Especially sex. You mean too much to me for that.” I felt heat rush into my cheeks and I nodded and snuggled closer to him. “Please tell me you understand that.”

“I do.”

“Good. And furthermore, I don’t really want to do that until after your birthday just to cover both of our asses.”

“Gotcha.” He kissed my forehead and smiled.

“It’s nothing against you. Believe me. You are fucking gorgeous and I would have slept with you as soon as we started dating, but it just wasn’t right. And you weren’t ready yet.” I looked up into his eyes and the love he was pouring out for me was nearly overwhelming. I gripped his hand tight and he hugged me. “And even after your birthday, that doesn’t mean we have to either. It just means we can. Just in our own timing. Got it?”

“Yeah...I’m fine with that.” I felt relief wash over me and I leaned up and captured Levi’s lips. He really was my everything, and I couldn’t ask for anyone more patient or caring.

“Now, can I try some banana? Or do you just want to cuddle for a while?” he snickered and I grinned.

“Ugh…banana is a go ahead I guess.” I reach for it on top of the blanket and handed it to him. He took it from me and leaned over me to kiss me again, settling down the rest of what was left of my nerves.

“Mhmm… next time, just tell me what’s bothering you, Eren. We can get to the good part faster.” He said with a snicker. He deepened the kiss and all logical thoughts melted away. All I cared about was Levi. Just Levi and his hands on me, his lips on mine. His mouth on my neck. His…phone ringing?! “SHIT, Are you fucking serious?!” he tossed the lube aside and grimaced at the phone on the table.

“Hello, I’m in the middle of- Oh….Well when’s the next available…shit…yeah, that one is fine. Thanks. Mhmm…bye.” He tossed his phone on the table and scratched his head. His hair was a complete mess, and it was driving me up the wall. It was fucking sexy like that.

“What’s wrong?”

“Our flight got canceled in the morning. We don’t have another flight until 6pm tomorrow…”

“What about your signing tomorrow?!” I raised up off of the bed and Levi gently pushed me back down.

“Relax. It’s no big deal. I’ll call June tomorrow. God knows what time it is in Japan right now. Besides, the next signing is in Ohio. They are getting hit with the same shitty storm anyways.” He shrugged and jumped back into bed with me.

“Want some music?” He asked with a smile. I nodded and leaned up against him as he pulled up his laptop out of the floor and brought up his playlist. He sat it on the bedside table and just let it play on random.

_How does it feel_

_To know that you are loved so much?_

 

“So we have a whole night and most of the day tomorrow to ourselves to relax and enjoy each other. Sounds good to me I think.” He grinned and reach for the bottle.

My eyes went wide as he popped the cap open and poured some out on his hand before giving my cock a couple of strokes with it. I practically writhed under his touch and I felt his breath against my thigh as he chuckled. He pressed a couple kisses to the insides of my thighs before taking my cock into his mouth.

_How does it feel_

_To be accepted so completely?_

 

“MHMM LEVI!” His hands were on my hips, holding me against the bed, and I couldn’t contain myself. Too many thoughts were rushing through my head. The glasses were dipping down on his nose just so fucking playfully and I nearly lost it. I was fisting the sheets as he slowly moved up and down my length. He gave me a few sucks and I squirmed at the new feeling of the lube on me. It felt oily, but nice. Warm almost. It was running though, dripping down where it shouldn’t, and I tried to scoot away from the feeling of the excess lubricant. Levi let my length slide from his lips and raised his eyebrow as he watched me squirm away.

“Did I use too much?”

_How does it feel_

_To mean everything to someone?_

 

“Y-eah. D-Dripping.” I felt him swipe his fingers over my balls, rubbing off some of the excess, but not where I really needed him too. I whimpered at the sensation, but continued to squirm. The warmth was really getting to me now. Warm, sticky, slick. UGH. I looked down at him desperately and even reach my hand down to his arm. “P-Please.”

“Okay.” I parted my legs a little for him, so he could reach where the lube had dripped and he slipped his hand down between my legs. He ran his fingers around trying to swipe up the extra lube and I was writhing under him, practically panting. His finger brushed over my entrance suddenly and I cried out and dug my nails into his arm.

“LEVIII!” My eyes shot open and he froze, eyes wide. I was breathing heavy, hips arched up. What was THAT?! “W-WHA?”

_How does it feel_

_To know that you're exactly what I wanted?_

 

“What? Does it hurt? Good? Bad?” He looked terrified. Almost too terrified to move.

“G-Good.” I felt red flood my cheeks as I said it, but I really didn’t give a fuck. Levi loved me. That’s all that mattered. He wanted to give me pleasure or else we wouldn’t be in bed together like this. We wouldn’t be promising each other sex later on. Wouldn’t be promising each other a future. My fingers were trembling against his arm. “L-Levi. I-I…I don’t…” His expression softened a bit and he smiled.

“So you like it?” I nodded frantically and he brushed over my entrance again, making me buck up against him.

“NGNNN.”

_Love you more than you can see_

_This is everything you are to me_

 

He relaxed his hand a bit and kissed my thigh. The songs switched over and the Amity Affliction came on. I swallowed at the lyrics, at the deep meaning, the deep promises. But we’d already made deep promises tonight, and we weren’t going back on those.

_Well I know there's been times when I wished I would die,  
but I swear yeah I swear oh I swear I'm past that_

 

“Do you…want me to do more? Be adventurous a bit?” I was desperately clawing at the pillow and at Levi’s arm. I just needed something. Needed him to move. To touch me.

“Y-Yes. Just…Something. Anything. Please.” He kissed the tip of my cock and sucked on it for a minute before pulling back again.

_and I'll swear if you will that I will not look back,_

_yeah I swear if you will that I will not look back._

 

“Open your legs up a bit further.” He pushed my legs apart and I heard the cap open again. I watched through heavily lidded eyes as he poured more lube onto his fingers and he gently led his hand back down to my entrance. I whimpered as the warmth grew again, but this time there was a steady pressure at my sensitive entrance. A stroking almost. I wiggled on the bed, and Levi tried to hold me still in his arms. “This may feel weird, okay? Tell me to stop if you don’t like it babe.”

_Take a deep breath now, pass the shallows,_

_stay steady and hold on, through the darkness we all know._

 

“K-Kay.” I dropped my legs further out to the side for him and focused on my breathing, focused on Levi. On the fucking amazing feelings he was giving me. The jolts of electricity he was sending through me with just his fingertips. I felt a pressure pushing against me, and suddenly, his finger pressed inside. “LEEEE-H-NNGGGG” I arched up against his hand. It was such a weird feeling and I just didn’t know what to feel. It felt good, but it also felt strange. And there was a tinge of…something else. A burning almost. Like muscles being worn out?

_And I swear yeah I swear yeah I swear if you will,_

_to hold onto life, yeah I'll hold on if you will..._

 

“Feel good?”

“Y-Yeah. B-But weird…” He made a sound of understanding and left his hand still for a while, gently giving my cock a few rewarding strokes that sent my mind reeling.

 

“Gonna move. You ready?” I whimpered and held onto his arm for dear life. I was terrified, but so excited at the same time. This was thrilling and it did feel so fucking good. A part of Levi was actually inside of me, and it was just strange but…

 

_So on to the ocean and into the sea, so balanced and calm now, that's where I will be._

_So on to the ocean and into the sea wash away all my problems wash away memories._

 

“Yeah…” He wiggled his finger a little and I nearly shot up off of the bed. The pressure was almost too much. Holy shit. “LEVI!!!”

“Woah! Easy!” He held me down and grinned at me. “So you DO like it?” I nodded desperately and laid my head against the pillows as he slowly moved his finger in and out, adding in a tug to my cock as he went every now and again. He had me writhing and moaning on the bed. A sputtering shaking mess.

_Back then - always through the shattered glass  
I stared at my life, and oh I wished I would die,_

 

“Ngnn…Levi!”

“Want another finger?” I looked up at him with unbelieving eyes.

“Nother?” His cheeks were flushed a shade of crimson I’d never even seen on Levi before and it was fucking gorgeous.

“Mhmm….” Another kiss to my thigh and those fucking glasses shined deviously. How could I say no? I nodded and he pulled out his finger, leaving me feeling utterly empty. I sighed and leaned forward, grasping for him, pulling at him. He kissed me hungrily, before easing me back down against the pillows.

“This will be a little different. More stretching, okay? Just stay still for a while.”

 

_but I swear yeah I swear oh I swear I'm past that -  
is this all what it seems - I can't believe that I made it._

 

“Okay.” I breathed it out and propped myself up a little further so I could actually watch Levi’s actions. As well as I could, through my lust filled eyes at least. He pushed his glasses up a little further on his nose and poured more of the lube over his fingers. He smiled at me and after one more kiss to my thigh and a couple of strokes to my cock with his other hand, he was rubbing at my entrance, teasing me all over again. I whimpered at the sensation, but I was already craving more. I wanted his finger in me again. I wanted that delicious friction, the movement.

I felt his fingers pressing against me again, and I thrust up against them, wanting more. He was moving slower this time as he pressed inside. I could already feel the difference, feel myself stretching and I swallowed hard. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes shut. His fingers kept pushing deeper, slowly, but surely stretching me further. I whimpered and reach for him again. There was a feeling I couldn’t describe ripping through me. I was on fire. It was a mix of pleasure and pain. It was a burning almost and I could feel my pulse beating out of control. Levi wouldn’t hurt me on purpose. He wouldn’t. No way. I squeezed my eyes tighter and I felt him shift his weight. The sensation remained, burning, stretching, and filling me, but I felt lips against mine, caressing kissing licking. He pulled back and breathed in my ear.

_Take a deep breath now, pass the shallows,  
stay steady and hold on, through the darkness we all know_

“Babe, I know. It’s hurting now, but I promise it’ll feel good soon. Just trust me. Give yourself a moment to adjust and get used to it, okay?” I wrapped my arms around his back desperately. I could tell he was already stretched at an odd angle, but fuck. I needed him to hold me right now. This was scary. “Fuck, your heart is pounding…” He kissed the pulsing artery in my neck and I swallowed again.

“I-I trust you, Levi…” My hands were trembling against him, waiting for the pain to subside. I just wanted it to go back to the sensations of the first finger. I did trust Levi, with every ounce of my soul. If he said that it’d be worth it, then it would be. I opened my eyes to look up into his and I could almost see the pain and anguish in his own eyes. I could tell it was breaking him apart to see me like this, but damn it was he doing his best to distract me from the pain. Sweet kisses to my face, my jaw, loving whispers in my ear, soft touches and strokes to my hair. He was showing me affection and caring in every way he possibly could as the waves of pain and discomfort passed.

_And I swear yeah I swear yeah I swear if you will, to hold onto life,  
yeah I'll hold on if you will..._

 

He slowly began to move down my body, and I reluctantly let go of him. He kissed down my neck, licked at my collarbones, down my chest, stopped at my nipples to tease them a bit, all the way down my stomach, past my hips, all the way back down to my thighs. The burning was slowly fading, but I completely forgot about that feeling as Levi suddenly took my cock into his mouth and I jerked up.   


“Hnnnng.” I gripped the pillow hard and listened to my own strangled cries. It didn’t even sound like me panting and moaning like that. He sucked and licked for a moment, and when he finally pulled back, I was a sweating mess against the sheets.

“Feel better now, Eren?” I nodded and rubbed at his arm a bit. “Just relax.” I watched as Levi smiled and slowly began wiggling his fingers again. I twitched beneath him and a smirk formed on his lips. Sparks of pleasure were shooting through me now, much like the first time, but much more intense now. I was being filled, fuller, being caressed inside by Levi. He began slowly thrusting his fingers in and out, and I cried out and arched up against him.

_So on to the ocean and into the sea, so balanced and calm now, that's where I will be.  
So on to the ocean and into the sea wash away all my problems wash away memories_

 

“FUCK! NGNNN-“ It just felt so fucking good. How could something like that feel THIS fucking amazing?! How could pain turn into this kind of pleasure? I felt Levi push his fingers in a little deeper and curl them almost, and God, it felt so nice. He pushed deeper yet and repeated his action and “HOLY FUCK!! SHIT! NNYYUUUAAAH-“ I nearly bent in half from the overwhelming pleasure and I heard Levi chuckle. His fingers were still inside me. He pushed them in a little further and curled them again, making me see stars. “LEVI! AGHHHH” What was he doing?!

_Take a deep breath now, pass the shallows,  
stay steady and hold on, through the darkness we all know_

 

“That.” He repeated the curling of his fingers and I jerked again, feeling sweat drip down my chest and tears leak down my face. It was almost too much. Too much at once. “Is your prostate. Feels good, huh?” He did it again and I screamed this time, not able to control anything at this point. I was clawing at Levi. I needed to hold on to something, ANYTHING!

_And I swear yeah I swear yeah I swear if you will,  
to hold onto life, yeah I'll hold on if you will..._

 

“FUCK, YES!” I felt this overwhelming pressure building up within me, and it just needed a release. I was writhing, squirming, and sweating. Screaming Levi’s name as he kept thrusting his fingers in and out like that and curling them just perfectly. “LEVIIII!” I was nearly bent sideways at this point, my hand locked onto his forearm. I would spasm every time he curled his fingers, and I almost couldn’t handle it anymore. With that building feeling in my groin, and my insanity slowly building, surly I’d just fall apart sooner or later. Could I even come just like this? I didn’t have time to process that thought, because I heard the cap pop open again and I let out another moan as more of the banana lube poured over my cock. “Shit! Levi!” He kept hooking his fingers and gave a couple more sucks to my cock. I could hear my screams now. I didn’t even know I could make sounds like that. He pulled back and began working me with both hands. A sated smile slipped onto his lips as I gripped onto his arm, and I could tell he wanted to watch me come.

_So on to the ocean and into the sea, so balanced and calm now, that's where I will be.  
So on to the ocean and into the sea wash away all my problems wash away memories._

 

“Fuck, so hot Eren.” I let out an uncontrollable scream and saw white as he pumped me and hooked his finger at the same time. My orgasm slammed into me and white exploded everywhere. I felt hot land on my stomach, and I remember screaming Levi’s name, but then everything went black.

 

Levi’s POV

“Eren? Eren?! Fuck…” I wiped my hands on the sheets and grinned as he went limp against me. He fucking passed out from sensation overload? Damn. It wouldn’t suck so bad if I didn’t have a fucking killer boner…

I hooked my hands under his arms and pulled him up against the pillows. He was completely spent, literally exhausted from head to toe. His hair was a knotted mess. I tucked us in under the blankets and pulled myself up to his side.

“Le-vi…” He sucked in a breath and opened an eye.

“Well hello there, turquoise eyes. How was that?”

“Fuck. Fucking best ever.” I grinned and pressed a kiss to his damp cheek. His eyes had been watering? Shit. Must have been one powerful climax. “Can’t move very much…”

“Eren…I still haven’t…”

“Shit! I’m sorry.” He turned on his side a bit and reach for me.

“Eren, you don’t have-

“No, you spent forever on me…” His voice was cracking. I could tell he was probably going to be hoarse tomorrow. His hand wondered under the covers until he grasped my by this point, leaking length, and snuggled up closer to me, stroking it right up against his bare thigh. FUCK. I hadn’t really been touched the whole time I was giving him attention and I REALLY needed this.

“EREN!!!” I arched against him and felt the pleasure of his touch pretty much overwhelm me. I let out a breath against his neck and felt the coiling already beginning. Fuck. I had just teased him so much, I’d driven myself too fucking close. I was grabbing at anything I could. One had was planted in his hair and the other was pulling him closer, wrapped around his waist. He was pumping me hard now, working me closer. I let my eyes drift shut, and leaned my head forward onto his shoulder, picturing the exact moment he unraveled in front of me. The exact moment when he tighten around my fingers and released all over himself, over my hand. That was my undoing, and I spasmed and moaned, shooting everything against Eren’s hand and thigh, probably into the already dirty sheets, but I could really give a fuck less. I sighed as my bliss over took me and felt Eren wiggle a little.

We adjusted the sheets a bit, so at least the wet parts were away from us, and we snuggled as close as we possibly could.

“Was it okay?” He whispered it against my head as he pulled me against his shoulder, not wanting to move any further.

“Mhmm….” I nodded and yawned, slinging my arm across his middle. Sleep sounded fucking amazing at this point. “Night Eren, Love you.”

“Love you too, Levi.” He shut his eyes and within seconds almost, I heard soft snores coming from him. I closed my own eyes and drifted off as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I don't think they actually call you and tell you if your flight has been canceled BUT yeah ;)


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren arrive in LA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, LOTS of notes for this one. It took me FOREVER to churn this chapter out because I researched ALOT. Seriously. Phew. 
> 
> The Clubs. The outfits. (Which are in the end notes!) The flight lengths. (for each chapter), The music. 
> 
> The Song is Damaged by Assemblage 23
> 
> Okay, so I've know about Assemblage 23 for a while, and when I found out that they've actually played at Das Bunker I just <3 Aghhhh Damaged is a beautiful song , and I really relate to it, and I just think it fits our boys perfectly <3333
> 
> Also, I think Das Bunker may be closed now? I'm not for sure. *Sigh* Either way, enjoy the chapter!!
> 
> Check out the outfits in the end notes! ;)

A few days later

Eren’s POV

We climbed off of the plane in the odd hours of the morning. I was losing track of the days and times now. Levi was holding me around my waist as I sleepily trudged through the terminal. If it weren’t for his arm around my waist, there was no way I’d even know which direction to go.

“Eren, we need to turn here.”

“Mhmm.” He tugged me to the side and I nearly tripped over my suitcase. I spotted a huge clock on the wall. Two? 2 am….

“Careful babe.” He adjusted my bag and kept leading me along. I grunted and tried to keep my sleepy eyes focused ahead of me. “We’ve got an hour and a half until our next flight. Want to grab something to eat? You look pretty tired. Maybe some coffee.”

“Mhmm.” He chuckled and kept ushering me along. We came to a fast food restaurant and my stomach growled at the smell of food. We had been on a plane for 3 and a half hours. Food did sound pretty good. I looked over the menu, and really everything sounded good.

“What do you want to eat, Eren?” I was overwhelmed by choices and my brain was kind of in a fog, but one picture stood out to me.

“Pancakes.” Levi patted me on the back.

“Just pancakes? Or the whole breakfast?”

“Mhmmm….whole thing I guess.”

“I’ll take two of the big breakfasts. 2 french vanilla lattes also.” Levi paid for the food and I leaned against him as we waited. He didn’t even look tired. How was it even possible? Was my boyfriend even human? “Grab the food, Eren. I’ll get the coffee.” I followed him to a table, setting the tray down and he went back for the luggage. We finally settled into our booth and I began sipping on my coffee.

“Where are we even at Levi…actually, where are we even headed?” He smiled as he sipped his own coffee.

“Do you even remember the conversation we had this morning?” I tried to recall it in my memory, but I could only remember bits and pieces.

“I remember you were cute when you woke up. You were rolling your shoulder ‘cause your arm fell asleep. You said something about a museum and a long flight, and it was early.” Levi rolled his eyes and opened the plastic lid to his food.

“You just remember that because we both woke up naked and pressed up against each other. You fell asleep on my arm last night.” He chuckled as he cut into his eggs and bit into them with a grimace. “Are these even real?” He sighed and looked back up at me. “Anyways, we are headed to Los Angeles. We are in Texas right now.”

“Texas?” I raised my eyebrow as I lifted the lid to my own food and poured syrup over my pancakes.

“Don’t ask me why.” I nodded and cut into the fluffy almost too perfect pancakes. “Good?”

“Yes. Thanks for breakfast.”

“No problem.”

We finished up eating and walked on to our next plane, where we took our seats and settled down for another 3 and a half hour plane ride. I groaned as I adjusted in the seat. My back was aching from sitting in the previous seat.

“This is the last plane ride for a few days Eren. The last one will be home.” He ruffled my hair and I frowned.

“So how many more signings do you have in LA?” He began picking at a knot in my hair with a concentrated look.

“Just one. It’s today actually. After that, we are free to enjoy the city. You’re fine with that, right?” My eyes went wide and I grabbed his hand.

“Seriously?!”

“Yeah, I only had signings for a week. So after today, we are free. We will be back home Sunday, so we really only have the rest of today and Saturday to do as we want, but yeah, we’ll have a little time to enjoy it.” I grinned and leaned right up against Levi. “But for now, we’ve got a 3 hour flight, so just relax.” I shut my eyes and sighed against his arm. I felt him push an earbud in my ear and welcomed the soft music, lulling me to sleep.

 

Later that evening

LA was everything that was pictured on TV and in the movies. It was beautiful aside from the fact that it was absolutely pouring rain. I frowned as I stared out the window of our suite, waiting for Levi to get back. I heard the card swipe through the door and I turned to see a soaked Levi walk into the room. I ran over to him and helped him pull off his coat.

“Levi, you are dripping!”

“Stupid fucking rain. I wanted you to be able to enjoy LA….” He was even soaked down to his shirt, and it was clinging to him. I caught my fingers at the hem and began to pull it up. He sighed and let me lift it over his head.

“As long as you are with me, I’ll enjoy it, Levi.” He gave me a half-smile and began stepping out of his soaked pants, leaving him in just his underwear. At least they were dry.

“Well, any ideas for tonight brat?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Well there are plenty of options here. We should save the museums for tomorrow of course, but tonight I’d suggest clubs, raves, dancing, whatever you want.” I thought over his words. Could Levi really get me into those places on his own? Levi took my hand and led me over to the bed, grabbing his laptop as we went. He brought up a list of a few clubs and things to do in LA and suggested a few places. “Okay, so I guess it’s down to these two then, Eren. We can go to Exchange, LA, which is like an EDM dance club. Like a giant rave, but-“ He pulled up the pictures and it practically made my skin crawl. Every single picture looked packed with people from elbow to elbow. “It’s seems pretty crowded. But it seems to be pretty popular.” I frowned as he flipped through the pictures.

“What’s option 2?”

“Option two is completely different…” He pulled up the second tab and a darker page flashed before my eyes. All blue, black and bright red hair. Leather, chains, boots and fishnet tops. “It’s called Das Bunker, It’s an Industrial Goth club.” My eyes danced across the page and my heart fluttered a little. I wonder what it would be like…

“I think the second one would be interesting…” I felt Levi hook his fingers under my chin and turn it towards him.

“Listen to me, Eren. If we go there, there will be ground rules. I’m being dead serious.” I stared directly into his eyes and nodded.

“Okay.”

“First off, we have to go shopping.” I nodded and he looked through the special events. There would be musical guests tonight, but it still fell into the techno category, so I still felt pretty comfortable dancing. “Secondly, You WILL NOT leave my side any time during the night. At all.” My eyes got wide and I instinctively scooted closer to Levi.

“I-Is it that bad in there?!”

“Eren, I’m not saying that the people in there are bad, but I just don’t want someone hurting you or trying to take you away from me.” I nodded and locked my eyes back onto his warm grey ones. “Thirdly, you need to be COMPLETELY open-minded before I even consider taking you in there.”

“O-Okay?”

“I’m just saying you are probably going to see some weird shit…” I threaded my fingers through Levi’s and smiled.

“I’m not exactly normal, Levi…” He chuckled and ruffled my hair.

“I’m not talking about a cute little shoe or glasses fetish, babe.” I felt my cheeks blush and he leaned down to press a kiss to my forehead. “I’m just warning you.”

“I’ll leave it up to you, Levi…but I don’t really want to go to the EDM club. There’s too many people.”

“True. Well…throw on some clothes and we’ll go shopping then.”

 

 

“Ugh…Levi…” I scooter closer to him as we walked through the black-walled shop. Whips, chains, and leather straps were hanging everywhere, but these made my stomach churn. These were all black and red. Not the soft brown like the leather in SNK. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me up against him.

“Relax. Remember what I said about being open-minded?” My eyes went wide and I froze on the spot. WHAT?! “What? Eren? WAIT?! NO. I’m NOT going to do that to you.” He turned towards me and wrapped his other arm around my middle. “Especially after everything you’ve gone through. I’m just saying I don’t know what goes on at that club, what kind of acts they have going on. So you may see that stuff. I’ve been to some weird night clubs.” My tension eased a little bit as I looked around the weird shop.

“S-So we won’t? No bondage or anything?” Levi gave me a soft smile and kissed my check.

“No. Not unless you want it WAY later on in the relationship, but don’t think that I’ll ever expect that of you. And at those types of places it’s ALWAYS a mutual decision type thing. No one ever forces to participate, but from the research I did, it seemed just like a dance club mostly. There were a few stripper poles, but every club has those. Besides, you’re going to be there with me, and I’m not letting anyone lay their hands on you, okay?” I nodded and Levi leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss on my lips.

“Can I help you guys find anything?” A girl dressed in all black leather walked up to us and we pulled apart, aside from Levi’s arm around my waist.

“We need some clothes to make us look sexy at Das Bunker tonight. We have a few things, but we just need a little something else. He needs boots.”

“I’m going there after work! I love that place! I’m guessing you two are just visiting town then?” Levi nodded and she guided us towards the back half of the store with all of the clothing. “Okay, so what exactly do you need besides boots for him?”

“I need a whole outfit, but I can pick that out myself. He just needs a shirt I’m guessing? Are you going to wear your tripp pants, Eren?”

“Y-Yeah.” I looked around me at all the racks of black clothing. It was a bit overwhelming. We were on the men’s side and buckles and armored shirts were sticking out at me. I gave Levi’s hand a squeeze. He stopped his conversation with the lady and turned towards me.

“What’s up?”

“These are kind of…scary…well that’s not the right word…harsh maybe?” I frowned as I ran my fingers over the armored shirts. They looked like they came straight from a BDSM porno. Sure my pants had some chains and straps, but nothing like this. Levi frowned and turned towards me.

“Well do you see anything that catches your eye? You like the corset pattern right?” I nodded. It was a less harsh than leather and buckles. Levi walked with me over to the women’s side and my face began to go red.

“Levi, I can’t wear this stuff!” My eyes caught a glimpse of lace and ruffles.

“Why not?”

“People will make fun of me, just like they do at school…”

“No no no, not at Das Bunker honey. You wear what you want to wear.” The lady said with a smile. I eyed the rack of lace and ribbon in front of me and began to sort through it. “No one is going to judge you, believe me. Everyone is there to have a good time.” I bit my lip as my finger slid over the tool and chiffon of the skirts in front of me. I felt so fucking stupid even looking at these. “I’ll leave you to browse for a bit. Like I said, no pressure!” I felt Levi’s arms glide around my waist and I squeezed my eyes shut, letting the fabric fall from my fingers.

“Did you want to try out a skirt too?” I felt a new wave of red rush through my cheeks. I definitely wasn’t ready for that. Not yet at least. I felt my fingers begin to tremble, and his wrapped around mine.

“T-They’re beautiful…but I don’t think I’m ready to wear one yet…” I added a bit of an uncomfortable and hesitant laugh to the end and he planted a kiss to my neck. It was nice being in such an open city for a change. I let of a soft sigh and opened my eyes to look at the skirts and tops in front of me again.

“Pick out a couple and we’ll take them back at least.” Another kiss to my cheek from behind had me turning maroon now. I looked over the delicate ruffles and bows in front of me. The ribbed corsets were made for the curves that women had, but I just didn’t possess. I picked out one skirt and decided on it immediately. It was red and black, layers of tool and chiffon, but it was a little longer in the back than in the front. I held it up to my waist and Levi pulled himself away from me to look at it. He nodded and moved my hands a little. It would fall above my knee at least and hopefully cover everything.

“Are you sure about this, Levi?”

“Yes, Eren. Even if it just hangs in the closet as a souvenir of our trip, then it’s fine. Really.” I smiled and swallowed hard, handing him the hanger. He grinned at me and looped it over his fingers. I started searching for a top next, but instead found a pair of pants that I liked.

“Levi…I know I already have pants-“

“Hand them over.” My eyes went wide as he practically snatched the hanger from my hand.

“Levi!” He chuckled and added it to the other hanger.

“Just thank me later.” He winked at me and I know I changed shades of red again. I went back to the rack in search of a shirt, and finally came across one that wasn’t too masculine, or too feminine. I picked up the top as soon as I came across it on the rack and held it up to get a better look at it. There was a little bit of leather detail, but not so much that it was threatening or scary. It had drawstrings running up both the right and left front side, that mimicked the corset design and I was in love with. The shoulders were cut out, leaving just a couple patches of mess in it’s place, and the sleeves were long and flowing, nearly longer than the shirt itself. I flipped it over to look at the back and almost let a gasp slip through my lips. I could see from the back that the sleeves were actually separated into two pieces by a pieces of cording, and the whole back of the shirt was laced with the corseted detailing. The bottom back of the shirt was cut in a v, leaving two tails at the bottom. I fucking loved this shirt.

“I see the way you are looking at the shirt. Is that the one?”

“I think so. Do you like it?” He nodded and ran his fingers over the fabric.

“Yeah, it’ll look great on you. Especially where it comes in here. It’ll hug your curves.”

“I have curves?!” My eyes went wide as I stared at him in disbelief.

“Yes, Eren. Believe it or not, you do. They aren’t as pronounced as a woman’s, but they are there. You haven’t stared at your body as much as I have.” He winked at me and I buried my face in his shoulder.

“O-Okay.”

“I’ll point them out later. Trust me.” I nodded and reach him the top. One last skirt caught my eye. It was a completely black skirt, asymmetrical in design, but the main part of the skirt was about as long as the last. This one also had some tool, but it looked a little rougher, with buckles and chains. I handed it to Levi and he grinned. “Alright, brat. Good to go besides shoes?” I nodded and gave him a hug.

“Thanks by the way. You don’t have to do any of this…” He pushed some of my hair away from my forehead and kissed it.

“You’re worth every bit of it, Eren. Now I need to find some clothes. Will you lay these up by the register for me?” I took my collection from his hands and laid it up by the checkout.

“Do you need help finding boots?” The lady we had talked to earlier asked me. I looked over to Levi who was browsing through the racks now.

“Ugh…yeah. If you don’t mind.” I couldn’t be shy about everything. Levi wouldn’t always be able to hold my hand with every decision I made. We walked over to the boot section and my stomach sank. I didn’t mind the black leather and buckles on the boots. They didn’t look as threatening, because boots were supposed to look like that I supposed…well maybe not THAT many buckles. Or chains…

“Do you have any without a heel?”

“Hahaha that’s cute sweetheart.” I frowned as I picked up the boot in front of me. It had at least a 4 inch heel on it, and it seemed to be the shortest out of their selection.

“I’ve never walked in anything taller than a one inch heel before…” I picked up a boot I liked and shrugged. It did have some nice lacing on it and the buckles were a good touch. “I like these, but…”

“You’ll be fine sweetie. Try them on! We’re dead today because of the rain, I’ll give you a crash course to walking in heels!” I shot Levi a glance and he was looking through a different rack now. I slipped on the boots and laced them up.

I slowly stood up and HOLY SHIT! I was tall now! I put my arms out, whimpered, and gave myself a minute to regain my balance. How had Levi walked so perfectly the other night in those boots? They had to have had a 6 inch heel on them, easily. I heard footsteps and Levi was walking over to us, with an arm full of hangers.

“Eren, you alright?” I buried my face in my hands and shook it. I was an embarrassment. I couldn’t even walk in fucking boots… “Damn…those are nice.” I opened by fingers a bit to peer at Levi through them and man…he was REALLY short now… “And you are VERY tall…” His eye brow was raised and his hangers were dangling off one finger as he kept looking me up and down. I was towering over Levi, and it made me feel uneasy.

“J-Just trying to practice.” Levi sat his hangers aside and put his hand on my lower back.

“Take a step. I won’t let you fall.” I took a deep breath and stepped forward. My feet were shaky and my ankles weren’t sure, but I moved forward, balancing the new found height into the bottoms of the arches in my feet. I nearly tripped on the second step, but I felt Levi’s hand push into my back and catch me. I gave a relieved sigh and I looked over to him. “See? I’m not going anywhere. Keep going.” I walked back and forth for a good 5 minutes, learning the boots and even bending down and up in them, getting a good hang of walking and functioning in them. “That’s it. I think he’s got it now.”

“Yulp! Looking good sweet stuff!” I felt flushed again and plopped down on the bench in the corner to slip off the boots. “He’ll be ready to dance it up tonight.”

“Thanks for all of your help!” She smiled happily at us.

“No problem! I love helping out.” I put my shoes back in the box and slid on my other shoes and we carried Levi’s clothes up to the register. I spotted a familiar manga lying beside the counter as she was ringing us up and I nudged Levi. The pen name Heichou Rivaille was scrolled across the bottom of the page.

“So, you like his work?” Levi asked with a smirk as he pointed to the manga.

“He’s one of my favorites! He was actually in town for a signing today, but I had to miss it for work…”

“How would you like me to sign it then?” Levi said with a smirk.

“WAIT. You’re-YOU’RE!”

“You’ve been a big help to us, so I’d be happy to actually.” She reach Levi the book with a smile and a pen and he scrolled a delicate (very unlike Levi) signature across the inside cover.

“Can I have a picture?”

“Sure.” She held up the manga and I took the picture for them. She was practically beaming from ear to ear. After we paid for our things, we caught a cab back to the hotel and unloaded our bags on the bed. Alright Eren, we’ll do them together since I haven’t done mine in a while either. Levi dig through his bag and pulled out a bottle of black nail polish. That’s right, it had been a few weeks since I’d seen Levi paint his nails. They had just been bare.

We sat down at the table in the corner and I put my fingers out in front of him. He shook up the bottle and began dabbing the polish onto my nails.

“I’ve just had other things on my mind lately I guess, haven’t really thought about painting them…” he muttered as he painted the black onto my nails with precision.

“Well it’s not like you have to paint your nails.” I said with a smile. “You look great either way…although it is pretty hot when you do…” he chuckled and switched hands.

“You’re pretty sweet, you know that?” The polish felt cold against my nails, but Levi’s hand against mine felt so warm. I could hold his for forever. I just smiled and kept listening to him mutter on. “You actually make me feel pretty special, Jaeger. Like I do matter for once.”

“You do!” My hands nearly came off the table and he grabbed them and held them still.

“You’ll smudge. Hold still. I know! I know. Believe me, you’ve finally beaten that into my head.”

“Levi, you’re smart, funny, and so caring! You protect me! You rescued me, and and you are really sexy and-“ Levi gently lifted one of his hands off of mine and pressed a finger to my lips.

“Eren. It’s fine. Calm down.” He replaced his finger with his lips on mine and all of my concerns melted away. “As long as I have you as my anchor, I’m fine.” I nodded as we pulled apart and he pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Now leave your hands still for a minute. Okay?”

“Okay.” He began painting his own nails with the same steady hand, and I was amazed at his perfect strokes. After a few more minutes of touch ups, my nails were finally dry.

“Okay, shower?” I looked at the clock. It was nearly 8pm already and night had already fallen.

“Sure.” We stripped in the bathroom together, not really paying much attention to our surroundings, but paying a lot of attention to each other. Levi started the shower and ruffled his own hair and stretched, all of the muscles in his abdomen rippling as he did so.

“See Eren.” He took a step closer and ran his hands down both of my sides, making me shiver.

“See what?” He turned me around to face the gigantic mirror and pushed himself up against my back. My face turned instantly red as I saw myself and saw him pressed up against me like that, but then I watched his hands trail down my sides again and curve out. Fuck. I did have a slight curve there. All the way down to my hips….which he just happened to be resting both of his hands on now. His chin was setting on my shoulder, staring at me in the mirror. At my bare body, completely exposed to him. Not that it wasn’t when we showered or played around in bed, but this was different. This was a mirror…this is where you saw your own flaws and reflected on them. This is where you practically picked yourself apart.

“Fucking gorgeous, Eren…” I swallowed hard as he whispered it, and my hands immediately flew to his. Painted nails laced with painted nails and gripped right over my hips again. I couldn’t bury my face in his shoulder and hide like this. I was practically on display for him. Every single scar was on exhibit for him in the perfect lighting of this top of the line hotel chain. The company hadn’t spared a dime on our LA hotel, and Levi had once again upgraded us to a suite. I saw a few of the deeper scars standing out in the lighting and I tried to turn my head away. I hated my body. Sure I wasn’t grotesquely overweight or anything, but my skin was maimed in places that I was trying so hard to forget about. Places that the blue night light in our apartment didn’t really illuminate that well. “Eren. I love every single fucking inch of you. Understand that.” I felt one of Levi’s hands let go of mine and begin running over one of the deeper pink scars on my side. Tears were stinging at my eyes, but I was somehow managing to hold them back. “No matter what you think of yourself. No matter what he did to you. You are stronger because of it, and that strength is fucking beautiful. You are fucking beautiful.” I squeezed my eyes shut to try to block back the tears, but a couple of strays got through. “And I love you so fucking much.” I gave his hand a squeeze and managed to nod my head violently. If I had managed any words, they would have come out jumbled.

“I-I love you too Levi. Really. T-Thank you.” I shivered as he pressed a kiss to my neck and I watched as the warm grey eyes I loved so dearly flicked over my body, taking in every detail, ripple of muscle, every scar.

“Will you let me draw you one day? Hmmm….” He was running kisses up my neck and across my jaw, making me shudder.

“Y-Yeah…” He beamed at me in the mirror and I practically melted against him. That fucking smile was my downfall. I’d practically do anything for it. He chuckled low and soft again, and gently tugged me towards the shower.

“Come on babe. If we keep going at this rate, we’ll never even make it to Das Bunker tonight.” We jumped into the shower together and though our hands did roam a bit, we decided against any heavy kissing or playing. Levi said he was on the verge of just saying fuck it and staying in for the night. We did wash each other’s backs, which was nice, and after a thorough rinse, we were both nice and clean.

I tossed a towel to Levi as soon as I hopped out, and we both dried off quickly. We walked out to the bedroom and after slipping on our underwear we looked at the mess of bags on the bed.

“Alright brat. You ready for this?”

“Yeah. I’m a little nervous, but I’m excited!” he grinned and kissed my cheek.

“Well, go ahead and get dressed! We’ll get moving!” He began digging through the bags, pulling out his own outfit and-WOAH. Levi pulled the pants off of the hanger and began to unlace the ties on the front. I blinked a couple of times at what I was watching. He stepped into the pants and the black leather stretched slightly as it moved and slid over the contours of his legs. Holy shit!

“L-Leather pants?!” My eyes were wide as I watched him lace up the front. I caught a glimpse of the back and my face went red. Dear everything that was holy above, you have really shined down on me today. Thank you thank you thank you…

“You don’t like them? The look on your face says otherwise, Jaeger.” Levi said with a wink.

“They are fantastic!!!” I couldn’t help myself as I stepped forward and ran my hand down his back, all the way down the arch, to the band of his pants to the slick leather. My face was burning, but I wasn’t going to pass this up. No fucking way. I went a bit lower, and gave Levi’s ass a light squeeze from behind. Luckily, it drew that low soft chuckle again, and he turned to me with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I’d say you fucking like them, brat.” He ran his fingers down my arm and cupped his hand over mine, forcing my hand to squeeze tighter. “You are going to fit in just fine tonight, I think.” That comment made my face turn a bright purple and I shoved my face into his shoulder. “Even if you are embarrassed.”

“I feel weird, Levi…” He let me pull my hand away and took me into his arms. I leaned my head down to rest against his collarbone.

“Talk to me Eren. What are you feeling? Why do you feel weird?”

“I’m just…not normal…the things I like.” His fingers were in my hair, caressing, touching, rubbing. The others were dancing around my waist, rubbing circles.

“We’re not normal babe. I hate to break it to you…Let me put it this way…He leaned back against the bed a little and I leaned with him, setting against his lap. “Everyone has…well let me just say it this way. Everyone has kinks. Things that they like in the bedroom. There are only certain people that are brave enough to show those off outside. Those are usually the people that have already been through hell and back.”

“The people who have got nothing left to lose?”

“Sort of. Yeah, when you put it that way.” He ruffled my hair and smiled. “Well showing those off, it just brings out your inner strength, Eren. And well a club like the one we are going to, most of the people there are like us. They can’t be strong in their everyday lives. They dress up like that to bring out their inner strength to empower them. And to have a good time of course.”

“So…skirts and stuff in the actual public, like at home?” I had my face buried in his neck and he rubbed my face.

“That one is a little different. You have to kind of judge the area and judge the people. I wouldn’t do it at home. The people there are asshole, but boots with a little bit of a heel sure. The women’s tripp pants are fine. Little things are okay, babe. You can have a little bit of an edge without dropping completely off, you know?” I nodded as it all sunk in. This was all so fucking new, and still so scary, but I knew what style I liked. Maybe one day I’d get the balls to wear one of the skirts that we had on the bed. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Whatever you choose to do, I’ll be here with you. No matter what you wear.” I pulled my head up off of his chest and smiled at him.

“You…don’t think I’m a freak? For liking women’s clothes. Seriously?” It was weighing heavily on me, and I really did want to know. Was he just going along with it to avoid hurting me?

“Eren, I wear fucking 6 inch heels for god’s sake. You think I haven’t put on a skirt before?” He raised his eyebrow and pressed a kiss to my lips. OH. MY. GOD. The leather of his pants was heating up against the skin of my bare leg, and I was REALLY blushing now. Was it from Levi in the leather pants or the thought of him in a skirt? He snickered as we pulled apart and carefully eased me down into the floor. “Now, go ahead and get dressed. You feeling a little better about it now?”

“Yeah. A lot actually.”

“Good.” He slipped on his shirt and I was on the verge of drooling. I’d be a shame to rip the outfit off of him right now, wouldn’t it? Such a waste of getting dressed. His shirt was long sleeved, but the neck was cut pretty low, letting his collar bones show. The sleeves had cut outs in them also, and they were laced up the side. There was leather detail in the shirt that matched his pants and tied the whole outfit together. Simple, yet stylish. And so fucking sexy. I would eat anything and everything off of those collarbones right now.

“Earth to Eren!” Levi snapped his fingers in front of my face and I blinked. “Babe, you need to get dressed.” He chuckled and I shook my head.

“S-Sorry!!!” I sorted through the bag filled with tool and buckles and found the outfit I’d picked out earlier. I nearly tripped as I squeezed into the skin tight black pants, but I somehow managed to get them on and zipped. Levi helped me with the shirt, and I was blushing as the soft fabric slid over my skin. This was SO much softer than any shirt I’d ever worn.

“They make women’s clothing out of nicer fabrics usually. Not fair is it?” Levi said as he brushed out a few wrinkles. He undid the bow and knot on my right side and tightened the strings a little, drawing in the sides of the shirt. The flush of my face grew a deeper shade of red and he leaned in and kissed my cheeks and he looped the strings around his fingers. “So cute when you blush.” He moved to the other side and adjusted the strings there as well, pulling the fabric in tighter. “There, now you can really see those curves I love.” He ran his hand down my side and I smiled. “You look fucking outstanding, Eren.”

“T-Thanks.” He took my hand in his and brought our lips together, kissing me softly at first and then deepening to some more, something we had both been craving. Our hands knotted in each other’s hair, and lips moved together. Tongues teased, and warm breath danced across our lips, but eventually we had to part.

“We’re never going to make it there if we keep this up…” he joked with a grin. “Not that I mind, but I know you want to go. Come on.” He tugged me into the bathroom and ran a comb through my hair, then his own, before pulling out his eyeliner. “Do you trust me enough not to gouge your eye out?” I nodded and I kneeled down in front of him, just as I usually did when he put any kind of makeup on me. His fingers went SUPER close to my eye and I closed it. “You need to keep it open, babe.” Oh right…Eyeliner. Duh. I opened it back up and took a deep breath. I trusted Levi. He knew what he was doing. He’d been doing his own for how long? I felt him smearing the makeup under my left eye first, then he moved to my right eye. “All done. Damn, you look hot.” I grinned and looked at myself in the mirror. It was a nice change, but I couldn’t do it every day. Maybe just on special occasions like tonight. Levi smudged on his own eyeliner extra heavy and after he was done, he sprayed on a little bit of that sweet cologne I adored. Just enough for me to get a hint of if I got close enough. Right on his wrist and on his chest.

We walked out into the hallway by the door and I pulled on a pair of socks and took a deep breath as I looked at the boots waiting for me in the box.

“You’ve got this, Eren. You did fine in the shop.” I nodded as I pulled them on and started lacing them up. I wonder which ones Levi would wear. Probably his regular boots. My jaw dropped as he pulled the Boots with the 6 inch heel out of the bag. The chains rattled as he pulled them on and he smirked at me. “If I can walk in these, you can pull off a 4 inch heel. Got it?” I nodded frantically as we both finished lacing up and stood, although I stood somewhat shakily. Oh man…Levi was tall now. I was eyeing him hungrily as he took a few steps towards me. We were nearly eye level, and that was an odd feeling for me. It only helped to throw my balance off even more. “Not used to seeing me at this angle, huh?”

“N-No.” I put my arms out to keep my balance, but Levi threw me off, by taking my hand in his.

“Come on Eren. Let’s go!”

 

Das Bunker was a good 10 minute cab ride away and when we arrived the music was thumping. There was a line outside, and we took to the back of course. It was moving rather quickly, but that did NOTHING to ease my nerves. I was still only 17, trying to get in.

“Stop freaking out. You’re cute, they’ll let you in.”

“Levi! That doesn’t matter!” He chuckled and kissed my cheek.

“Hey! It’s you two!” The girl from the shop ran up to us, though she was a bit more scantily clad now and she was waving frantically. “Come, come! Come to the front! I’ll go ahead and let you in! I have member privileges!” Levi cocked his eyebrow but shrugged and took my hand.

“Wow! Thanks!” We followed her, conveniently past the bouncer and through the door into the building.

“Have a great time guys! I’ll let you explore in your own! That’s most of the fun!” With a wink she was gone, off into the lights and the crowd. Music was thumbing and right away my face was blood red, but luckily, it was hidden by the green flashing lights and smoke. Levi gave my hand a squeeze and we began walking through the club, trying to get our bearings straight. The thumping music was a little different than at the raves, smoother almost, but I still enjoyed it. It made me want to glide along. I really wanted to dance.

_I am merely the product  
Of the life that I've lived_

Levi led me out into the center of the room and I felt a little odd. There were quite a few people around us, but we didn’t really seem to fit. There were girls dancing on poles and more boobs than I really cared to see in this room. Leather outfits cut down to the bare minimum, and some that just plainly didn’t exist, covered by pain x’s of black tape. I shot him an uneasy look and he nodded. We kept walking and he led me down into another room.

_An amalgam of sorrows  
And the wisdom they give_

This one was cast in a slight purple light. The music was louder in here, and there were more lighting effects. I noticed a consistent theme in each room. A long bar running up each side. I heard a loud pop and then a moan and looked over to the side to see a girl being bent over the bar with pretty much no clothes on, aside from purple boyshorts. I took a closer look around the room, and pretty much everyone lacked clothes in here. Levi’s hand was fastened firmly on mine and he nodded at me and we kept walking, straight through the next door and down the steps. We took our time, as we weren’t really adjusted to the idea of steps and heels, but eventually made it downstairs.

_But the weight has grown heavy  
And it's dragging me down_

The music was really thumping down here, and there was no excess of glow sticks and LED lights. Or black lights for that matter. There was definitely a mix of people down here. People in cosplay, people in outfits that had glowing parts, but at least most of them were clothed and not doing any hardcore spanking or moaning.

_It's so hard not to sink now  
But I don't want to drown_

“Here okay?” He leaned up into my ear to whisper it and made me shiver. I nodded and he smiled. “You alright? I know it’s a bit of a shock. A lot to take in at once.” I nodded again and shoved my face into his shoulder. Lights were flashing around us, and people were dancing, pretty much in their own little world. I tried to duck myself into him and hide away, and he pulled me right in against him. One arm was right around my waist and the other was around my upper back, pulling me closer. My arms were wrapped around his middle, just holding onto him, adjusting to the unfamiliar surroundings. I could smell his cologne as we gently swayed back and forth to the music and it smelled so sweet and inviting.

_I'm damaged_

_But somehow I've managed this far_

_But I don't know if I can find my way back home_

I could hear the chains on his boots rattle every so often and it drew my attention down, but my eyes went right back to the steady man in front of me. The strong arms, the swaying rhythm. He pulled back a little to look into my eyes and smiled at me. He was doing it again. That look. That same look where he was getting carried away by the music, and I fucking loved it. He was still holding onto me, but he was encouraging me to move. To dance with him. He was swaying his hips to the smooth music, almost moving in slow motion with the flashing strobe lights. He was intoxicating, and I never wanted to be addicted to another kind of drug, other than Levi.

_I'm damaged_

_But somehow I've managed for now_

_But I don't think I can face this on my own_

I tried my hand at moving my hips along to the music and sure enough, I was swaying along with him. He shot me a brilliant smile and let one hand remain on my waist, while the other went to his own hair playfully. He would whip it back and forth as the music would drop in and out and he was just simply stunning. I was by no means, that coordinated, but I was trying my best, and if that was enough to put that perfect smile on his face, then I’d keep it up.

 _There is beauty in hardship_  
  


_There are poems in grief_

I dropped my hands down to those seductive hips of his, the ones that were moving with every part of the song just right and we were moving as one. His eyes were looking only into mine, and mine in his and we closed the distance between us, lips touching, tongues dancing along with the rhythm of the song. We were so in sync that we didn’t stop moving or dancing as we kissed and when we finally pulled apart, we hadn’t missed a beat.

_There are trials we must go through_

_Though they may shake our beliefs_

We heard a few whispers around us, but we paid them no mind. They were mostly good things actually. Things we were used to. _Look at how cute they are together! He’s so hot! They are so in tune!_ Levi just grinned at the comments and pressed a kiss to my forehead as we continued to dance, the synth leading the patterns of our hips and feet. We were pressed so close that our hips were practically touching now. I could feel his breath on my neck, and it was enticing me to get closer still. But suddenly, I felt something tickle my leg.

_But I don't know how I got here_

_Lost in the cynical dusk_

 

“Shit.” Levi frowned and looked down. He fished his phone out of his pocket and his smile instantly left his face. “FUCK.”

“What’s wrong?” My eyes went wide as he grabbed my hand and ran with me to the nearest bathroom and locked the door. You could still hear the faint thumping of the music outside, but at least you could hear in here.

“It’s my fucking worthless parents. You aren’t here. Stay quiet.” I felt my heart break but I nodded and leaned up against the door. Levi put the phone on speaker so he could hear better.

“Hello?”

“Levi! Where are you?! What is up with all of these charges lately?! We got an alert from the bank saying the card was in Los Angeles.” Shit. Shit. Shit. Levi shot a glance my way and sighed.

“Yeah Dad, I am….”

“Why didn’t you tell us?! And why did you buy two plane tickets? Who are you with?” DOUBLE SHIT.

“I’m with Erwin, Dad.” That stung, but I knew his reasoning. Unwanted questions. Levi silently mouthed an apology and I nodded. He reach for my hand, which I gladly gave.

“Well that’s funny that you say that, Levi. Because we checked with Delta and the tickets say Eren Jaeger on them.” My stomach twisted in knots. I shot Levi a panicked look and he gave my hand a squeeze. “Let alone the fact that we called Erwin and he said he was doing quite well at work today.” SHIT. “Why are you lying, Levi?!”

“I’m with a friend, Dad. Okay?!” I could see Levi getting pissed now. His face was getting red. “Eren is a friend.”

“A friend. Right. The same type of friend that you tried to get me and your mother to support I’m guessing?”

“Dad! Stop it!” Levi was pretty much yelling into the phone now.

“I will not have my son using MY money to support THOSE kinds of habits.”

“HABITS? HABITS?! Are you fucking serious?!” He was furious.

“I want you home Levi. The next flight out tomorrow. End of discussion.”

“Like hell-“

“IF you want your tuition paid for you’ll do as I say. Be at our front door tomorrow, Levi. We WILL be discussing this AND your future. Do understand?!” Levi was shaking now. His face was red and I could see the tears in his eyes. “And if you want that debit card to remain in your pocket, then I suggest you show up.”

“Fuck You!” Levi hung up the phone and shoved it back in his pocket. He was trembling and he gave me a horrified look. “E-Eren…I don’t want to leave. I don’t wan’t…” I closed the remaining steps in between us and hugged him against me. “Fuck Eren…I don’t want to leave Trost…Don’t want to leave you…”

_Set adrift in the worry  
That I've no one to trust_

“We’ll make it work. Something will work out, right?” I felt him grip my shirt and nod. My heart was breaking. I couldn’t think of a world without Levi, but could we really survive on our own? With two barely above minimum wage jobs at a coffee shop. I felt him hiccup against me and I looked down. The tears were flowing freely now, and he was breaking apart, completely hysterical. “Levi, were not going to be apart!” I gripped him tight against me and kissed the top of his head. “Even if I have to get another job and work fast food or some bullshit, I won’t let them take you away from me. Even if we are dirt poor and have to eat ramen every night.” He pulled away from me and wiped his eyes.

  
_I'm damaged_  
But somehow I've managed this far  
But I don't know if I can find my way back home

 

“R-Ramen?” He blinked a couple of times.

“Yeah! I actually really like ramen. I heard there’s an Asian food store in Shinganshina that sells like 20 different varieties.” He was still frowning, but he looked more confused now than anything. “You can finish up your college first, and when you are done and making the big money, you can pay for mine later on! Deal?!” His eyes went wide and he crumpled against me.

  


“Fuck….how…how can you be this so damn perfect? I don’t even understand…” I grinned and pulled him close again.

“Because I have someone that has helped me through my lows. Someone that has always been there for me to pick me up.” I wipes the tears off of his cheeks and he gave me a half-smile.

“Wow…Eren. You have no idea how much I-I…Fuck. Words can’t even describe how much you mean to me.” He pressed a kiss to my lips and I brushed his bangs out of his eyes. We walked out of the poorly lit bathroom and decided to lean against the bar in the back of the room instead.

_I'm damaged_

_But somehow I've managed for now_

_But I don't think I can face this on my own_

 

“What can I get for you sweeties?”

“I’ll have a shot of vodka. Apple juice for him.”

“Levi! You probably shouldn’t drink-“

“Eren, just…just let me-Ugh.” He put his face in his hands and sighed. The shot and the cup of apple juice were set down in front of us and I eyed him nervously. Levi had NEVER drank around me. I had NO idea how he was. Did he get violent when he was drunk like my Dad? He grabbed the shot and downed it before shoving the glass back at her. “One more.” More liquid was poured into his glass and I cringed. The familiar smell of alcohol drifted through the air and I hated it. I hated everything about it. He pounded another back and I sipped on my apple juice. “Fucking piece of shit parents. Might as well disown me. I’d have a better life. I’d get to be happy with you at least.” He laced his fingers together with mine and I smiled at him.

_If to suffer is holy_

_I'll take my share of the pain_

 

“We are together, Levi. Nothing is going to change that, right?” He nodded and tears welled up in his eyes again.

“Right. And they can’t fucking see that. They are assholes, Eren! Fucking Assholes. They can’t see how much I love you. It’s not right!” He shoved his glass forward again and I shot him another nervous look. “No matter what happens, Eren. I’m always going to love you and be by your side.” He downed the shot and licked his lips. “E-Even Iff we have to eat fucking ramen like you s-said.”

_I can swim through this sadness  
If there's something to gain_

 

“Okay.” I gave his hand a squeeze and kissed his cheek. “Sounds good to me Levi. Can we go now? I’m kind of tired.”

“S-Sure. I think. Think go is good.” He was struggling to keep his balance a bit, and I wasn’t surprised with his lightweight form.

_I can reach for the surface  
And try to pull myself free_

 

“Mhmm. Let’s go Levi.” I looped his arm around my shoulders and he wobbled a bit. We walked through the pulsing club. Getting up the stairs was a challenge, and somehow I managed to call the cab company. We waited outside for them to show up in each other’s arms. Levi had his face buried against my neck. “You know you shouldn’t have drank. It’s dangerous with our medicine.” I added as I combed my fingers through his hair.

“Y-yeah.” His fingers twisted in my shirt and I heard his sobs begin again. I pulled him close and kissed the top of his head. “Just hurts…Hate t-them sh-so fucking much. Ss-Sorry I fucked up.”

_But the last thing I want is  
To drag you down here with me_

_I'm damaged_  
But somehow I've managed for now  
But I don't think I can face this on my own

“I know they are assholes. Don’t apologize, I know you are just trying to numb the pain. Just remember there are other ways to do it. I can help you through it.” I rubbed his back to comfort him and all he could do was grip my shirt and cry. Eventually the cab did show up and it took us back to the hotel, where by some miracle, I got us up to the room and through the door. I got Levi to the bed and got his boots off, along with his pants and shirt. I stripped my own boots and clothes off and just as I was about to lie down, Levi groaned.

“Pee.”

“What?” My eyes went wide and he reach an arm up.

“Gotta piss.” I helped him to his feet and he stumbled to the bathroom. I sighed as he leaned on me and as he washed his hands, I went about my nightly routine as well. He leaned on the counter for support and splashed some water on his face. “Fuck…this i-is awful…why do people do t-this?”

“Don’t ask me.” I shrugged as I washed my hands, and looped his arm around me again, helping him back to bed. I got him a cup of water and had him sip on it a bit.

“Fuck…thanks babe. I know m’ a fuckup.” I stroked his hair as he sipped on the water and I stood by his side of the bed. He leaned his head against my stomach and sighed. “I’m sorry about everything. Shoulda listen chu….to you.”

“It’s alright. I just worry about you, Levi. But we are both safe. I don’t love you any less.” He gave me a cheesy smile and nodded. He reach me his empty cup and I re-filled it and set it on the table by the bed. I took my medicine and joined him in the bed after making sure the night light was plugged in. I guided his head against my chest and he breathed out softly.

“Eren….”

“Yeah?”

“Really, really love you. Fucking so much.” I chuckled and kissed his forehead before pulling the covers up over us and tucking him in securely.

“I love you too, Levi. Get some rest, okay?” After a slight nod, he was dozing off, and soon I was joining him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi: http://www.the-black-angel.com/gothic-longsleeves-men/1202-strings-sleeves-punk-rave.html
> 
> Eren: http://www.the-black-angel.com/gothic-longsleeves-women/741-queen-darkness-clothing.html  
> http://www.the-black-angel.com/gothic-pants-women/1159-punk-rave-womens-pencil-pants-skull.html  
> http://www.gothicsense.com/gothic-knee-high-boots/Dem-Gothika-200.html


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi travel to meet Levi's parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was tough for me to write guys. Ugh... Better things are around the corner. I promise <3
> 
> The song is Fuck the Yankees- The Amity Affliction
> 
> Again, I seriously insist you go and have a listen <3 Their songs are so powerful and hold such a deep place in my heart and you cant really get a feeling of the chapter if you don't know how the song flows? I don't know. Heh. Just me. The title has NOTHING to do with the song, BTW. XD <3

The next day

Eren’s POV

“Levi, Levi…” I shook his shoulder and he groaned, hand flying up to his head. His eyes popped open and he squinted. I reach him a glass of water and some ibuprofen I’d gotten out of the vending machine down the hallway. “Take these.” He sighed and sat up, before downing the pills along with his regular medicine.

“It’s not that bad of a headache luckily, guess I just drank too fast.” He frowned and sat the cup down on the table. “Thanks for watching out for me last night Eren.” He looped his arm around my waist and squeezed me into a tight hug. “I was fucking stupid. You really were the responsible one.” I ruffled his hair and he relaxed against me.

“You’re welcome, just don’t scare me like that again, please. I know we aren’t supposed to mix anything with our medicine…so…”

“I promise babe. I was just upset.” He stretched a little and looked at the clock. It was half past 10. We really needed to get moving before check out so we could find a flight to wherever the hell Levi’s family lived. Or he could find a flight there and I could go home. Hell, I didn’t know what was going on at this point… “I’ll try to think more clearly next time, alright?”

“Okay.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead and he climbed out of bed. Luckily I’d been up for a while. I had been woken up by a nightmare that sent me into a slight panic attack, but it was so minute I could pull myself out of it. I was so unsure of the current situation. So unsure of everything. So I went ahead and got up for the day, packed all of my things and had my shower. Sadly, it was alone for once, but it’d let Levi move a little faster when it came time for him to get ready. He grabbed his clothes out of his bag and moved into the bathroom, before starting the shower.

“Eren, can you bring the laptop in here?” He was stripping off his underwear, and I was looking over him. He looked pretty rough from last night, the dark eyeliner smeared all over his face, and even streaked from the tears he’d shed while we were down in the bathroom at Das Bunker.

“Sure.” He hopped up into the shower and I brought the laptop in and turned it on.

“Look up flights to Ragako.” I typed in the name and sure enough, only one city by that name popped up. FUCK. It was really far away. In Ohio?

“There are a couple flights leaving today that will take us there. One leaves at 12, it’s the only one that’s non-stop to Cincinnati. There’s another at 3, but it’s got a layover. We wouldn’t arrive until early tomorrow morning.”

“Fuck. We have to make that flight babe. Get my wallet and order those tickets for the 2pm flight. Cram everything in the bags. Can you pack the sheets? Just leave anything unnecessary. I’ll leave a note and a tip to cover it.” He flew through his shower as I grabbed his wallet and ordered the tickets. I ran downstairs to the lobby and printed off the confirmations and slips and ran back upstairs. Levi was slinging on clothes and his hair was dripping everywhere. “I’ve already called a cab.”

“Alright!” I pulled the sheets off the bed and crammed them into the bag, along with the chargers and laptop. Levi shoved his toiletries in his bag and we zipped everything. “Good?!”

“Yeah!” We slipped on our shoes and made a break for the door. I didn’t want to leave LA yet, and I know it was killing Levi to, but we had to. I gently took his hand in mine as we rode the elevator down together to the lobby. At least I had answers now. We’d be going to his parent’s together. We weren’t going to be separated…yet at least. I pressed a light kiss to his cheek and he turned the corner of his lips up a little.

“Thanks, Eren.” He squeezed my hand, and as the doors opened we rushed to the desk to check out. Then to the cab waiting for us. We were rushing against the clock to make it in time. LAX was a nightmare and to make it through the security and gates in less than an hour was nothing short of a miracle, but somehow we managed.

I took the window seat this time and settled in for the 4 hour flight. Levi hadn’t even bothered to put on eyeliner, and he looked so exhausted. He gave me such a sad look as he settled down next to me. I flipped up the stupid fucking arm rest and grabbed the throw blanket out of his bag before wrapping it around us, pulling him right into my arms. I felt the plane lurch into motion and take off and I looked down and watched LA disappear beneath us.

“So so sorry, Eren.” He pushed his face into my chest and I pulled him even closer. I felt tears leaking through my shirt, but I could really care less about being wet. I just wanted to comfort Levi. To let him know I was here for him no matter what. I did have one arm around his shoulder and the other in his hair, but he was grabbing at my arm, and I fully understood what he wanted. I laced our fingers together and he sniffled as he watched me kiss each knuckle. He buried his face again, and little hiccups began to come out. “So, so sorry. W-wanted this to be special for you…”

“This was special Levi! This whole trip together was great!” I heard footsteps and a flight attendant walked up beside us.

“Um, sirs. Is everything alright?” I sighed and looked up over my crying boyfriend. Levi just went rigid in my arms. “We got some complaints that someone was crying…” Levi rubbed his face into my shirt and I ran my fingers through his hair.

“Well, he’s a little upset. Sorry, we’ll try to be quiet…” I frowned as I looked down at Levi. He was gripping at my shirt.

“Actually, if you want to grab your stuff, we have quite a few seats in first class. They won’t be bothered up there and I’m quite sure you’ll both be more comfortable.” She smiled brightly and handed Levi a tissue as he looked up at her with wide tear-filled eyes.

“Seriously?!”

“Yes sir! Follow me!” Levi shakily stood, and after wiping his face a little, grabbed his bag. I grabbed the blanket and we followed her pretty much the length of the plane to the front. First class was actually abandoned and we settled down into our seats in the middle. “Truthfully, there were a few people back there that were saying some rude comments about you two, and that was just not sitting right with me.” She said with a kind smile. “Plus this will give you two some space. Looks like you’ve had a rough day. Can I get you anything to drink? Juice, water, soda?” I was sort of thirsty after the run here…

“Juice sounds good. Apple if you have it.”

“Just a bottled water for me, please.” Levi asked as he blotted his face. I adjusted the arm rest again and threw the blanket over us.

“Sure thing!” She went off to the back of the plane to get our drinks and Levi leaned against me again and as soon as my arms were around him again, the tears resumed. I pulled him closer to me, and my fingers found that soft undercut, gently caressing and pressing kisses to his forehead.

“I love you, Levi. Everything will be alright. I promise.” He nodded against my chest and coughed. I just wish I could lift his spirits in some way, but I knew this was a world of low I couldn’t pull him out of. This was a world of anxiety, fear and grief that he was being thrown head first into, and all I could do was stay here by his side and support him through it.

“Love you too…” He whispered it against my chest, but I knew it was sincere. I knew he meant every syllable, because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be upset like this. He wouldn’t be scared of what was going to happen. The flight attendant handed me a can of juice and his bottle of water and I thanked her. She left us alone with a wave, and I cracked the seal on his bottle of water.

“Here, drink a little.” He lifted his head and it completely broke me to see his eyes so red and his face so wet. I wiped his tears away with my right hand and held the bottle up to his lips with my left. He took a couple of gulps of the cold water and closed his eyes. There were a few tears caught in his eyelashes, shining in the fluorescent lighting. I caressed his jaw gently, before pressing a soft kiss to it. He took a couple of deep breaths and swallowed hard, trying to calm himself. I set our drinks aside and Levi moved his head to rest it against my shoulder. “Maybe we can nap for a while? Get some strength up before we talk to your parents. You look really worn out.”

“Not a bad idea, babe…” We didn’t even bother with the ipod, because first class was so quiet. We just reclined the seats a bit and relaxed into each other’s arms. Levi was breathing softly after a few moments, his tears finally coming to a standstill with the new addition of sleep, but mine didn’t come so easily. I had a nagging feeling. What were his parents like? How should I talk to them? I couldn’t really ask Levi, because he really needed to rest. FUCK. I pulled out my phone and opened up the available Wi-fi. I couldn’t text, so hopefully Erwin would message me back on Facebook. What time was if even on the east coast?

**To Erwin: Hey, what do you know about Levi’s parents? We are in a little bit of a situation. They wondered why their card was being charged in LA, and they found out I was here with him, now they are pissed. We are flying to Ragako now.**

I leaned my head against Levi a bit further and he let out a content sigh. No way in hell was I going to let them take him away. Levi was mine. My phone buzzed in my hand.

**Erwin: Shit. I wondered why they called me out of the blue yesterday. No good pieces of crap. They are stuck up idiots. You have to watch everything you say around them. They will take everything wrong. I had to sidestep around them a few times while I was hanging out with Levi back in the day.**

I frowned and let his message sink in. Even Erwin wasn’t good enough for these assholes? Another message popped up before I could respond.

**Erwin: All they care about is fucking money, Eren. That’s it. I’m not sure if they have ever really cared about Levi or not. I was the one that had to scrape him up off the floor when his Nana passed away. They don’t like anything getting in the way of their appearance, and Levi being gay certainly did that. I’m sure you’ve heard the story by now?**

**To Erwin: Yeah, Levi told me everything. I can’t believe they did that…**

**Erwin: Levi is trying his best. Stay by his side, keep him strong. His parents sure aren’t going to. Just keep us updated Eren.**

**To Erwin: Will do. Any tips on talking to them?**

**Erwin: Have you watched Shingeki no Kyojin?**

Why was he changing the subject all of a sudden…

**To Erwin: Yeah. Why?**

**Erwin: It’s sort of like trying to talk and reason with a titan. Good luck!**

SHIT!

 

 

I did somehow manage to doze off and just before we landed, the flight attendant woke us up. We buckled up and set our seats up. After a thank you, we waved to her and went our separate ways. We got a rental car at the airport and rolled our luggage to the waiting area. Levi found the car, and we tossed our bags in the back seat, aside from his messenger bag.

“Ugh, vending machine.” He groaned. Luckily there was one in the parking lot with Levi locked me in the car as he got us both a drink. I waited for him to come back, nervously playing with the mirror in the sun visor. Levi returned with two sodas and took over the driver’s seat. He reach for his messenger and pulled out his eyeliner. His face did look a little better now that he had rested a bit on the plane. He had even washed his face in the bathroom once we’d gotten off.

He quickly smudged on the black pencil and tossed it in his bag.

“Now I feel human again.” He said with a sigh.

“You look good.” He gave me a half-smile and eased the car into drive. His phone was connected to the car with blue tooth and I was scrolling through his list of artists. “Anything in particular?” Rain started to trickle down against the windshield and he sighed before hitting the wipers.

“It’s a pretty long drive. 45 minutes, so something to keep me awake.” I picked the Amity Affliction of course, because they were quickly becoming my favorite and I set the phone up on the dash. I put my hand on his thigh, and leaned my elbow on the window, watching the rain fall against the glass.

 

_I've been trying to find the space and time_  
_To let them know just what it's like_  
 _To be feeling so alone_  


_To be feeling so alone_

 

Levi was silent for a while as we drove and my mind just wondered along with the raindrops as they ran down the window. Why had fate turned it’s ugly horns to us? Levi had been cursed with asshole parents from the start. From what I could deduce, they just seemed to be arrogant pricks that loved their money more than their son. And considering their son was Levi, that really struck a nerve within me. When he loved, he loved with his whole heart.

_I know you stayed there waiting for_  
_The world to heal itself_  
 _The world we existed in_  


_The fucking world I turned to hell_

 

I glanced over at him and he was staring forward into the pouring rain, no doubt in deep thought as well. What had happened between them? Where was the breaking point? It was fucking ridiculous, and Levi didn’t deserve any of it.

_If only I_   
_Could fall through the earth_   
_To reach you when the sun decides to set_

 

“Eren, you alright?” He glanced over at me and I swallowed hard.

“Ugh, yeah. Why?”

“Your hand went tight around my leg, like you were upset.” He returned his eyes to the road and I sighed and pushed my hair out of my face.

“Just thinking about stuff.” He nodded and moved one of his hands down to intertwine his fingers with my own. I smiled as I watched the black nail polish on both of our fingers gleam in the muted light.

_Take your hand and let you feel  
The warmth of grace's breath_

 

“My parents are REALLY going to love that. Oh well. Fuck them.” I sighed and pinched at the bridge of my nose.

“So do you have a plan at all?” Levi frowned and started rubbing his thumb over my hand nervously.

“Not really…I’m just going to tell them the truth about everything and hope they find it in their hearts to accept me as I am. Ha…bullshit right? Not going to happen in a thousand years.” I saw tears well up in Levi’s eyes, but he pushed them back so he could continue to drive on.

 

_I am the heart that keeps on beating_  
_While you close your eyes at night_  
 _Not before and not forever_  
 _Will our hearts not beat together_  


_And now it's happening again_

 

“It’s fucking ridiculous Levi. They are being so narrow-minded.” He nodded and kept looking forward.

“They just want me to keep playing their stupid aristocratic games, Eren. And I’m so damn tired. I don’t want to play anymore.” He brushed his bangs back out of his face and cracked the window a little bit to let some fresh air into the car.

_I've been trying to find the space and time_  
_To let them know just what it's like_  
 _To be feeling so alone_  


_To be feeling so alone_

 

“Have they ever cared about you?” I didn’t want to even ask the question, but I needed to. I HAD to. Levi’s knuckles went white on the steering wheel and he went silent for a moment.

“I…I think at one point in time they did. But then things started changing. I…I started changing?” He gave me another glance and he looked unsure of his own answer. “No…no I’m sure of it actually. It was when I started finding my true self. That’s when…that’s when they started pushing me away.”

_And I know you stayed there waiting for_  
_The world to heal itself_  
 _The world we existed in_  


_The fucking world I turned to hell_

 

I swallowed hard as he said it and turned his eyes carefully back to the road.

“Eren, when you grow up in a house like that. In a community like Ragako, you don’t “do” self-exploration. It’s just not something that happens. Not with the wealthy. They expect you to stay in school, make a straight 4.0 average, graduate, become a doctor, get married, pop out a few kids, repeat.” I nodded and listened to him go on about his town. “But…as you know, I’m an odd ball. So one day I went and got my eyebrow pierced…” Oh my god…

_And we are wishing things could just go back  
To how they used to be_

 

“Oh Levi!”

“Dad was furious, mom slapped me in the face and I had to take it out that same day. It was that same month that I learned how much I liked to draw actually, so I found something I could hang on to.” I frowned and he gripped my hand harder. “Well the assholes actually paid for private art lessons, but they didn’t realize I was painting anime and morbid Victorian era art, so they once again went off. Tried to suppress that, but I wasn’t going to give in on that one.” I nodded and ran my thumb over his.

 

_We've lost the innocence of youth_

_And left our hearts by the wayside_

 

“Well, that’s about the time that everyone was “falling in love” in high school. He said it in the annoying squeaky high-school girl voice. “I was a senior. I only really hung around the art kids, but even so, none of them were really my friends. Erwin was the only one I could stomach to be around…and I started to feel different about him… Well you know how that part turned out.” I nodded again and let him continue. He was really opening up to me, and I wasn’t about to stop him.

 

_But I can tell in the years to come  
We'll get it back and you will breathe ever so deeply_

 

“Well, the day I kissed Erwin…” My stomach churned and I dropped my eyes down. My breath caught in my throat. I didn’t want to think about anyone touching Levi, let alone kissing him. All I could manage was a squeeze to his hand and he got the message. “Sorry babe. I’ll leave out the details. Anyways they saw through a window, because it was in my back yard. I thought no one was home. I was stupid.” I frowned as I watched him tap on the steering wheel. “They saw Erwin reject me immediately, I’m sure. But then…” He was tapping faster and I checked his speed just to make sure he was going a safe limit. The rain was pounding off of the car now, coming down in sheets. “Then they made him leave and made me come inside. Well they pretty much called me a freak and asked me WHY I kissed Erwin…”

“Seriously?!” I gripped his hand tight and he nodded.

 

_Then let go of all the heaviness  
You've carried for so many years_

 

“Yeah, right after I’d pretty much been shot down by my crush, my parents are screaming at me over this…Well I was like isn’t it OBVIOUS?!” My eyes went wide and he continues to tap on the wheel. “I’m gay! Okay! I’m gay. I like boys! I had a crush on Erwin and tried to kiss him, and he fucking turned me down.-Or something along those lines.” He was shaking his head and I watched the trees blow in the rain in front of us. “Mom screamed that the yacht club would kick them out if they found out, and Dad was worried about the guys at work. They called me a freak, an outcast, a disappointment, a fucking abomination. Anything and everything. It was pretty much their last straw, but they couldn’t just dump me in the gutter somewhere, because they would ‘look bad’. So that’s how I ended up at Trost. They thought a few years away at a good college with lots of women would ‘fix’ me. Assholes.” My stomach was turning and I gripped Levi’s hand tight.

“That’s complete bullshit Levi! They had no right to do that to you! Love doesn’t have a fucking gender and they are too damn blind to see that!” I felt angry tears burning at my eyes and Levi’s fingers began trembling. He took a deep breath and actually pulled over as tears welled up in his eyes again.

 

_Throughout the pain_

_Throughout the fear_

 

“Fuck…Eren.”

“And if they are going to treat you like shit, and not support your decision, then you don’t need those assholes in your life! You know who will be here supporting every single fucking decision you make?” His sorrow stricken eyes looked over to me and I pointed to myself. “Me. I’ll fucking be here for you. I love you, Levi. You can have my heart, and everything I have! It’s not much, but it’s all I’ve got! It’s more love than what those assholes have to give!” He practically leapt across the emergency break and captured my lips with his. Arms were wrapped around me, and mine around him, and we just sat there for a minute to digest information and calm down. Whispering promises of the future and soft ‘I love you’s’.

 

_Just know that I'll be here_  


Eventually we both dried our eyes again, and after Levi got back into the driver’s seat, he fixed his eyeliner. He let out a sigh and pulled back onto the road, driving through puddles and past broken limbs in the road.

“Almost there.” We pulled up to a gated neighborhood, and the man at the gate buzzed us in after giving Levi a strange look.

The house we parked in front of was bigger than any house that I remember even being inside of. I stood next to him nervously as he rung the doorbell.

“Son, you made it. Surprisingly. I didn’t think you’d show.” I’m guessing it was his dad that answered the door. He didn’t really look like Levi. Maybe if he did at some point in his life, old age and stress had worn it away. “Come in, get out of the rain.” Well that’s a great start. He didn’t even acknowledge me… I followed Levi inside and his dad shut the door behind us. We kicked our shoes off and all three of us went into the living room. “Would you like a drink, perhaps? We’ve got a nice vintage from Italy. The Montroses got it for us as a gift.”

“No thanks. I can’t drink with my medication.” Levi plopped down on the couch, crossing his legs elegantly, and I sat awkwardly next to him.

“What about you, boy. Wine?” My eyes went wide. He was offering me something that was probably worth more than my whole life?

“N-No thanks. I’m on medicine too, actually.” I said it with an awkward smile, but I guess I successfully pissed his dad off.

“What? What kind of medication are you on? Really Levi?!” His dad sat the bottle down and stared directly at him.

“Well, I’m on depression medication, DAD. Even though it’s none of your business. It’s REALLY none of your business what Eren is taking. We’ll just have water.” He sighed and popped the cork.

“I think I’ll have a glass anyway. Your mother will want one too.” We heard footsteps and right on cue, Levi’s mom walked through the doorway. She reeked of old money. She had expensive clothes on, head to toe diamonds, styled hair, and makeup. Everything. Her no doubt $400 perfume drifted by us as she walked by to sit on the other couch and made me want to puke. I was starting to get nervous now and my foot was starting to tap. I wanted to grab Levi’s hand, to anchor myself, but that wouldn’t work here. That would just cause problems. My chest was getting a little tight, so I tried to take a deep breath. She picked up her wine class and began to sip it.

“Evening, Levi.”

“Mother.” Levi’s voice sent shivers down me and I found particular interest with a string on my pants.

“And YOU are?”

“This is Eren. Eren Jaeger.” She scoffed as she looked at me.

“No name that I know. Do you even know what high end fashion is, boy?” My eyes went wide and I heard Levi growl.

“Cut it out! Eren’s a guest! You pride yourselves so fucking much on being good hosts, how about you ACT like it!” Levi snapped and his mom shot him a glare.

“Fine. Let’s just get down to business. Levi, what were you doing in Los Angeles?” He gritted his teeth and made a fist.

“It was a combination of a work and fun trip.”

“So you have a job?”

“Two actually, but you wouldn’t approve of either, so it doesn’t matter.” He glared at her and she crossed her arms. Levi’s dad joined her on the couch. Wait…is that his SECOND glass? His cheeks sure seemed red…

“Try me.” Levi frowned and shrugged.

“Fine, you want me to come clean about my life? Well get ready!” Levi’s dad took a big drink out of his glass and raised his eyebrow. “But I’m telling you everything! And it’s not what you want to hear!”

“It’s never what we want to hear, we’ve accepted that, Levi.” I could see the hurt in his eyes from that remark, but he went on.

“I work at a store called Anteiku. It’s part coffee shop and part anime merchandise shop.” His parents frowned at that, and his dad took another swig. He continued on. “And as my second job, the one that I had to travel for, I draw manga!” His dad spit out a fine spray of wine but then went ahead and downed the rest of his glass. How was he even listening to this? “I write yaoi manga. It’s about guys that fall in love!”

“See Levi! This is what brings disgrace to the Ackerman family, I swear!” His father stood up and pointed at him.

“I use a pen name. Idiots.”

“Just making that trash is ridiculous! You are worthless! Get a real job, Levi!”

“Fuck you!” His dad walked over to him and stood in front of him. Levi stood up as well, and so did I. They were face to face now, practically screaming at each other.

“Apologize to your mother!”

“NO! Oh, and I’ve got one more tiny detail I have left out about my life! I’m dating Eren! I’m in love with him actually and we live together, so fuck you!” I saw anger flash over his dad’s eyes and before I could catch his arm, his hand collided with Levi’s face. My eyes went wide and the sound of the slap echoed throughout the whole house. Levi’s eyes were welling up with tears and his cheek was turning red.

I…I on the other hand pushed his dad so hard up against the fucking wall that he didn’t even realize what was happening.

“DON’T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HIM, YOU PIG!!! You don’t even deserve his love! You NEVER deserved his love, and GUESS WHAT?!?! You’ll NEVER get to experience it EVER again, asshole! It’s fucking over for you!” I screamed it so loud that my own voice made my ears ring. I gave him one final shove and grabbed Levi’s hand. “Come on, Levi. They aren’t even worth it.”

“O-Okay.” I felt him squeeze my hand as I drug him away from the assholes. We shoved on our shoes at the door and Levi grabbed the keys out of his pocket. We hopped into the car, and he slammed the car into reverse. We sped out of the gated community, and drove maybe another 5 minutes down the road, until Levi couldn’t take it anymore. We found a park, and pulled over into the RV lot to park for a bit. Just to rest and calm down. To figure out what we were going to do next.

  
“Levi…I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight…SHIT.” I looked at his cheek and there was a scratch across it.

“H-He hit me with his ring…” I leaned across the center console and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You were completely right Eren. I’m glad we left…I just don’t know what we are going to do…” Tears were leaking down his cheeks again, breaking my heart in half each time they dripped off of his chin.

“Let’s just take it a day at a time, Levi. We can get through it together.” I took his hand in mine and he nodded.

“Eren…I’m really worn out, and the closest hotel is seriously like another 45 minutes away IF they even have a vacancy.” He gave me a pitiful look and leaned his head against the wheel. “This fucking sucks.”

“Why don’t we sleep in the car? No one will bother us here in the park, right?” He peeked up from the wheel and looked at me with those exhausted eyes.

“No…they shouldn’t since this is an RV park. If you are sure about it…” He sniffled a bit and wiped his eyes with his hand.

“I’m sure! Come on, let’s get into the back!” I grabbed my soda, and Levi grabbed his, and we hopped into the back seat together. After taking our nighttime medicine, we snuggled up together under the green throw.

“Will you be alright without a nightlight?” He asked as I bundled up hoodies and rolled them into a make shift pillow for myself.

“We have the moon tonight, I’ll be fine.” I stretched out, and guided him down against me, tears leaking slowly against me. All I could do was quietly comfort him. Trying to lull him my shushing his sobs and stroking the disheveled hair. I kept pressing soft kisses to his forehead and hairline, I even pressed another gentle kiss to the cut on his cheek, trying to reassure him just a little.

“Eren…I’m really lucky to have you, you know…”

“I’m lucky to have you too, Levi. Please try and get some rest. Good night.”

“Goodnight.” And with that, once again Levi was asleep against me, finally passing out from all of the tears he’d shed that day.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi travel back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 Things are getting better. Also The beginning of Eren's birthday :D YAY!!!!! 
> 
> Comments = <3 Lovelies
> 
> Here's my tumblr again ^.^ <3333  
> http://xxdeja-uchihaxx.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> Enjoyyyy <3

We woke up to a loud banging on the window of the car and I shot up, pretty much throwing Levi up against the door. A park ranger was looking at us through the window as he tapped on the glass.

“Hey kids, this is an RV park. What are you doing?” Levi rubbed at his eyes and opened the door. I followed him out the same side, kicking the blanket off as I went.

“Sorry. We got really tired last night. We didn’t think we could make it to a hotel without falling asleep at the wheel, so I pulled in here. Slept longer than I had anticipated.” Levi said as he tried to comb out his bedhead with his fingers. I was stiff from sleeping in the backseat, and by back was screaming at me.

“Well I understand that, but you should get moving. It’s 8AM, go ahead and get to a hotel or wherever you need to go.” Levi nodded and thanked the ranger, before climbing back in the driver’s seat.

“Shit. Let’s get something to eat. I’m starving.” He groaned and put the car into drive. We pulled back onto the main road and found the nearest McDonalds. We hopped out of the car, and before taking a bathroom break, we ordered.

“9.75” Levi handed the cashier his debit card and she frowned. “It was declined.” Levi grimaced and reach her cash out of his wallet. We grabbed our food and sat down at the table in the corner. He sat up his laptop and pulled up his bank account.

“Shit…” I sipped on my soda and stared at his exhausted expression. “My card has been locked. Those assholes. Of course they’d do that.” He frowned and as he stared at his screen, his face started getting redder. The restaurant was empty, so he grabbed my hand and drug me outside to the patio to make a phone call.

“Levi, who-“ The phone was already ringing. His fingers were trembling in mine as the phone sat on the outside table. I held each of his hands, supporting the nearly crumbling man in front of me. On the 4th ring, the phone clicked.

“Hello.” That familiar hellish voice. It send shivers through me and Levi’s fingers tensed around mine. “So I guess you’ve figured the account has been locked by now.”

“Fucking asshole…” Levi barely whispered it, and I squeezed his hands tight.

“Levi, you have got to make a choice. You can either choose to actually bring honor to the Ackerman family…” Levi squeezed his eyes shut and I just broke and closed the distance between us, taking him into my arms. “Or you can keep going down the destructive path you are going. If you go that way we are cutting all ties…well…all but one.” His father nearly growled on the other end and Levi was sobbing into my shirt now.

“W-What do y-you mean?!”

“It was your Grandmother’s wish that we pay for your college, so I’d feel like an ass to take that…” His knees gave out in front of me, and my muscles reacted quick enough to catch him and lean him against me as we crumpled to the ground together.

“O-Okay…”

“Make your choice, Levi! NOW!” Another cry ripped through him, but he swallowed hard and sniffled.

“I’m going to stay with Eren!” He screamed it out and turned to cry against me. Fuck.

“You’ve made your choice then. I can see you really don’t give a damn about our family, Levi. Just mail the tuition checks to the house. We are done with you being a part of this family otherwise. Bye.” The phone line went dead and Levi completely broke down against me. He was nearly screaming, twisting my shirt into a mess. His eyeliner was streaking his face, and god, did I just want to be home. I just wanted to lay in bed and tell him everything was going to be okay, like he’d done for me so many times.

“I-I…I’m alone. No Mom or Dad…” I kissed the top of his head and rocked him gently back and forth, trying my best to soothe him. His small frame felt so light against me, and I suppose that would never change. Even with all of the defined muscles and strength, he was still delicate. He had his face buried right into my chest, and I was trying my best to shield him from the world. Trying to give him a moment to cry and scream all of the pain away, even if it only helped a little. I brushed his bangs back, and let him cry against me for a while, just simply holding him and being there for him. It’s all I knew how to do.

“You have me Levi. You won’t ever be alone.” I pressed another kiss to his forehead and he nodded against me. “And you’ve got Erwin and Hanji. And the guys at the shop. Hell, even my friends.” He nodded again and clawed at my shirt.

Eventually the tears slowed and we stood, deciding to head back inside. Surely the food was cold now, but we could really care less. Luckily our things had been left alone. I bit into my bagel as Levi checked his other account.

“Well…luckily I have $220 in my personal account. I’ve got like $70 in my wallet I think. I charged the rental to dad’s card. Do you have any cash?” I looked in my wallet and frowned. I pulled out a crumbled up $5 and threw it on the table.

“Sorry…”

“No, Eren I understand. I know your whole check has been going to your sister, so it’s alright.” I rubbed my face and sighed. Levi’s check was directly deposited into his back account while mine was still a paper check. I figured it’d be easier just to cash it and give it straight to her. I should probably text her… I went to pull my phone out and my thumb hovered over her name. My other hand turned into a fist and I felt tears burn. I’d nearly lost it outside with Levi, but I had to stay strong for him out there, but this? This was…This was fucking unfair. This was…I squeezed my eyes shut as Levi’s hand closed around mine.

“Eren…just clear your head first.” I nodded and put my phone away. “Finish eating babe. That’s important right now. Eat, and drink. We need to fuel up for a long ass drive, because we sure as hell can’t afford plane tickets home.” I finished the rest of my bagel and Levi started on his as well, sipping on his soda every now and again.

We packed up our things and re-filled our cups, before Levi washed his face in the bathroom. He didn’t bother to put on eyeliner, and he really looked tired. His eyes were red from crying and he just looked so worn out.

We walked to the car and I playfully grabbed his hand. He chuckled and gripped my fingers tight.

“Getting brave, huh Jaeger?”

“I have to show everyone you are mine, or they might swoop in, right?” I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He snickered and unlocked the car.

“Dork.” I blushed and jumped into my side of the car. Levi put in our address to the GPS in the car and I groaned as 8 hours and 15 minutes until arrival popped up. “Sorry Eren…”

“It’s alright! We’ll make it fun!”

“Sure.” He grinned and connected his phone to the Bluetooth. It began ringing and we started moving towards our destination.

“Hello?” Erwin’s voice echoed through the car and I sank back in my seat.

“Hey…”

“Levi, what’s up?”

“My fucking parents are assholes man…they pretty much just disowned me. Locked my card.” My hand went to Levi’s shoulder and he had a stoic expression on his face now. Like all of his tears had been cried out. He nuzzled my hand a little though, so I was glad for that.

“Are you serious?! How are you going to get back?!” Erwin sounded panicked. “Do I need to come get you?!”

“No, we’ve got a rental that’s already been pre-charged to Dad’s card. I’ll let the old fucker keep paying. It’s an 8 hour drive back, so we should be back today some time.”

“Fuck man…” I could hear the hurt in Erwin’s voice. I could tell he wanted to be here to comfort Levi just as much. “Do you have enough money to make it back on?”

“We’ve got like $300, so hopefully it’ll be enough to make it down. This car is pretty shitty on gas.”

“Well if you need me to transfer you any money, Levi, don’t hesitate to call. I just want you to make it home safe.” Levi frowned and kept his eyes on the road.

“Thanks, Erwin. Will do. I’ll call if I need anything.”

“No problem! Be careful!” The line hung up and I leaned against Levi’s arm. I just wanted to be close to him. This was ridiculous. This whole fucking situation.

“Do you want to call Mikasa?” My heart sank and I dug my face into his arm.

“Ughhh…I guess so.” I brought her number up on his phone and hit dial. It was answered after two rings.

“HELLO?!”

“Mikasa?”

“EREN? Oh…This is Levi’s phone. I got scared for a second.”

“Well there is something I need to talk to you about…”

“ARE YOU HURT?! WHAT’S WRONG?!”

“Calm down woman.” Levi snapped. “Eren’s trying to talk. It’s important. He’s fine. In good health.” I heard her hiss practically at Levi’s remark, but I had to swallow hard and take a deep breath. Guilt was overwhelming me.

“Mikasa…something has happened…we…we won’t be able to help with the bill for a while. We’ll be lucky to be scraping by, so…”

“What?! What’s going on, Eren!?”

“Levi’s dad froze his account, so we have to support each other now. Basically the jobs at Anteiku will be what we are living off of…so…if you could tell Dad…or I could tell Dad I guess…I know how he gets when he’s upset and I don’t want him taking it out on you…”

“NO. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, JAEGER.” Levi said as he shot a look over to me.

“I agree, Eren. I’ll tell him. It’s okay. I’m sure he’ll understand you have to survive. It’ll be fine.” I rubbed my face and shook my head.

“Well…maybe I can just get a job for nights? I could go for a little while after Anteiku and-“

“Eren.” Levi’s voice was low, but to the point. “You need to take care of yourself. We’ve talked about this before. I’m not going to let you fall apart to pay off some dumb ass doctor’s bill.” I felt tears stinging again and I nodded.

“But I feel guilty!”

“Eren! Don’t!” Mikasa’s voice echoed through the car and I felt my chest getting tight. So fucking guilty. Can’t help Levi. Can’t help Mikasa. Can’t do anything right… The car shaking and coming to a standstill and Levi’s arms around me brought me back. He’d pulled over so he could hold me. He was going through all this shit, and he pulled over to hold me? Mikasa’s voice was still humming across the stereo. “You have to take care of yourself! Take care of yourself and take care of Levi!” That last line made the tears spill out and I nodded violently.

“ ‘Kay. T-Try my best.” Levi was holding me awkwardly across the center console and I was regaining the air that had seeped out of my lungs. “T-take care of us both. Right?” I said as I looked at Levi. “I’ll take care of you, Levi.” His eyes softened and he pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

“And I’ll take care of you, Eren. We are damaged, but we aren’t broken so much that we can’t mend each other’s pieces back together.” I nodded and buried my face against him for a bit as Levi and Mikasa talked for a while. Eventually, we hit the road again, and what we thought would be an 8 hour road trip turned into 10 with all of the stops and traffic. Erwin had insisted we meet them for coffee when we arrived, and although neither of us felt like doing anything but taking a fucking shower and hitting the bed, we parked in front of Anteiku and went inside.

“Eren! Levi!” Jean waved to us with a smile, but his grin turned into a frown as he saw our appearances. “You look like crap.”

“Thanks…”

“LEEEEVVVVIIIIIII!!!!” Isabel came running through the shop and jumped on him. He groaned as she squeezed him.

“My Heichou is upset!!! Give them both coffee on the house Jean!” We ordered cappuccino and plopped down at our regular seat in the corner. Isabel followed us over and sat across from us, staring at Levi intently. “You look weird. What’s up?”

“Bad couple of days…” Levi mumbled. Jean sat our coffees down on the table and Levi picked his up. I looked him over carefully and god, did he look stressed. The circles under his eyes were so pronounced that it made me cringe, not the mention the sheer lack of will to put on his eyeliner. Then again he’d been crying so much, it’d just streak his face again. His eyes looked tired, and although they weren’t bloodshot, he just looked like he needed rest. His shirt was the same as yesterdays and no surprise it looked like he slept in it. His hair was a mess, he’d only half attempted to comb it out with his fingers this morning and my guess was that he really didn’t give a shit right now.

“You don’t have eyeliner on and your hair is all messy…did something happen?”

“Yeah…I’m broke now. Actually Eren and I are broke. Sorry.” He laced our fingers together and our painted fingernails gleamed together in the soft lighting of Anteiku. I reach for my own cappuccino and started sipping on it. Erwin and Hanji finally walked through the door, carrying a carrier with them.

“Kirara!” Levi’s eyes lit up and he actually smiled for the first time in what seemed hours.

“Meeeeeeew.” She pawed through the carrier and Erwin sat it down by the table.

“She was a good girl. Loved to play with Sonny!” He smiled and Sat down on the couch across from us. Isabel waved and took off to the merch side as Farlan called for her and Hanji went to order drinks.

“So, how bad is it? When is rent due?” Levi sighed and pushed his bangs back.

“I don’t want to fucking talk about it, Erwin. Seriously.” He sipped his coffee and squeezed my hand.

“Wait, I thought we lived in college housing?” My eyes went wide and Levi shook his head.

“It’s only partly covered by tuition. It’s bullshit. It’s an extra $500 a month…” My stomach sank and I squeeze his hand. Hanji returned with their drinks and sat down with Erwin.

“That’s expensive…”

“Yeah…and we don’t really make that much here. With classes and everything. I guess I can pick up a few more shifts in between….”

“What about that savings account you set up, Levi?? Hanji asked as she sipped on her smoothie. His eyes went wide and he nearly fell out of his seat.

“Oh my god…I didn’t even think about that!”

“Wait…What!?” I was beyond confused now. Levi was frantically digging through his messenger bag for his laptop. He plugged it in and turned it on, nervously waiting for it to load up.

“Levi has been routing all of his manga sales commission to a savings account the last couple of years.”

“Last couple of YEARS?!” My eyes went wide and I looked at him in disbelief.

“Yeah. I didn’t really have a use to take any of it out, so I’ve been saving it up. Why not use my asshole parent’s money?” He shrugged and began typing.

“How much do you make per issue?”

“About 1.35, depending on the manga. Some are less, some are more.”

“So you should have a little saved up then?”

“Yeah, I should…”His eyes went wide and he dropped his mug on the floor. “SHIT! Shit shit shit!” Jean rushed over with towels and tossed me one. I blotted his leg carefully where the hot coffee had spilt and looked up to see tears streaming down his face.

“Oh my god! Does it hurt?!” I was blotting softly, but I stopped and Levi just shook his head. He turned his computer screen to me and I nearly dropped MY cup.

**Account Summary: $45, 456.45**

“W-We’re going to be just –fine Eren…” I took him into a hug and heard Jean give a sigh of relief as he swept up the glass around us.

 

 

 

A few days later

Eren’s POV

I awoke to Levi’s alarm droning in my ears. I groaned and tried to bury my head under the pillow.

“Babe, you need to wake up for school.”

“Don’ wanna. It’s my birthday. Can that be my present? Skipping school?” I buried my head in his neck and he chuckled lightly.

“Don’t think so, love. But I’ve got a surprise for you this morning. I set the alarm a little early.”

“LESS SLEEP IS MY PRESENT?” I groaned and buried my head again. “Take it back!”

“Come on, get up.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek and nudged me out of bed.

“Okay, okay….Ughhh…” I climbed out of bed and made my way into the bathroom. I sleepily brushed my teeth as I waited for the shower to heat up. Levi did the same beside me and I blinked slowly at him. I stripped off my clothes and climbed into the shower, followed by a certain raven-haired boyfriend of mine. “L-Levi?!” The water bounced off of him and he grinned.

“Yeah?”

“Why are you mph-“ he crashed his lips into mine, and just for a moment, I tasted the sweet mint from the toothpaste coupled with the unique taste that was only Levi. We kissed for a few seconds, only to pull apart and stare at each other breathlessly.

“I’m in here to save time. Also, Happy Birthday.” I grinned and leaned my head down against his. Maybe if we’d had a little more time, we could have played around a little in the shower, but screw weekday mornings and everything they stood for. At least today was Friday. We finished up with our shower and hopped out, both throwing on some clothes and making our way downstairs.

“Are you making breakfast?” I headed towards the kitchen and Levi merely shook his head.

“Not this morning, brat. Other plans. Come on, let’s go. You’ve got school right?” My eyes went wide and I nodded. What was he up to?” We both threw on our coats and scarves, as it was a little chilly for March today, and I smiled at Levi as we stepped out onto the sidewalk. His eyes were shining brightly, contrasted by the smoky black around them, and I was falling in love all over again. He seemed…excited almost.

“Eren…If you would do the honors and hold my hand?” I felt my heart skip a beat, no, five beats! And I gripped Levi’s hand in mine. We walked for a few minutes and the memories kept repeating through my head. All the times I couldn’t hug him, all the times I had to walk home without him, all the times I couldn’t even touch his hand.

“L-Levi…” I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pushed him up against the wall. “I’m…I’m just so….” I felt his arms wrap around me and I buried my face into the crook of his neck. We’d made it. We’d fucking make it through the 6 weeks of hell. The 6 weeks of injustice, and now we could show all the affection we wanted. He was all mine! “Levi!” I cried out his name and a few tears even escaped my eyes. I knew people were staring as I really hadn’t considered the spot where I’d pushed him up against the wall, but I didn’t give a fuck. I needed to be close. I needed his arms. I pulled back a little to stare into his eyes and he was truly smiling at me.

“It’s okay, Eren.” He wiped my tears away and I just couldn’t wipe the dumb grin off of my face. I was so fucking happy. So unbelievably happy. I brought my lips to his right there on that sidewalk and felt his fingers comb through my hair. Mine. Levi was mine. All mine. And no one could fucking stop us any longer! We stayed like that for a few minutes, pressed up against the wall, kissing, touching, and just whispering I love you’s to each other. Simply because we could. Until, Levi eventually tugged at my sleeve. “You need to get to school, babe. Believe me, I’d rather stay here and kiss you all day, but you have to go. Plus we’ve got one more stop before you go.”

“Okay.” We held hands as we walked and my heart fluttered. I kept looking over at Levi as he held onto my hand, swinging it lightly. The turquoise scarf around his neck just illuminated the grey of his eyes and it made him look stunning in every way.

“So the party is at Anteiku right after school.” He brought my hand up to his lips and gave it a kiss and I grinned.

“Okay! I can’t wait!”

“I bet! You seem excited. But” He shot me a devious look as he swung our hands back down and we turned down a side street. Wait? Isn’t this…the old craft shop he used to work at? “You’ll have to wait for my present until AFTER the party. Got it?”

“Sure! I can wait! Why are we here?”

“I figured I’d treat you to some hot chocolate and a fresh cinnamon roll.” We walked up to the stand where Levi had bought me that hot chocolate a few months back and my heart skipped.

“Levi! You are so-“

“Two hot chocolates and two cinnamon rolls.” He paid the man and we waited for our food.

“So what?” I gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek.

“Perfect. You have no idea. It’s already been a great birthday!” We took our cinnamon rolls and ate them on the bench beside of the craft store, sitting rather closely (I MAY or may have not been on his lap) together. He really did love to piss those people off. Afterwards we threw our trash away, and I half expected him to say goodbye to me in front of the store.

“Think twice, Jaeger. I’m walking you to that fucking school. I’ll personally wave at your principle today.” My eyes went wide and I hugged Levi around his neck, nearly spilling what was left of my hot chocolate.

“Really, Levi?!”

“Yeah! And if he has another damn word to say to you about our relationship now, I’ll kick his ass myself. You are legal. Fuck him.” We joined hands again and walked the rest of the way to the school, where Mikasa and Armin were waiting for me out front with strange looks on their faces. It was probably from my hand in hand arrival with Levi. Principle Shadis was standing out front on bus duty as usual and his expression was priceless when I walked up with Levi. He let go of my hand and kissed me on the cheek.

“Bye Eren! Happy birthday!” He yelled it intentionally, looking directly at Shadis.

“Bye, Levi! See you later!” He grinned at me and waved, and as I walked down the hallway, I saw him walking back down the street. Fuck. I had an amazing boyfriend. I couldn’t ask for anyone better.

 

 

 

 

Levi’s POV

“Oi, Erwin. Get your ass over here. All of the boxes just showed up! Bring your tools!” He groaned on the other end of the line.

“Is that any way to talk to your best friend? Any what time is it anyway?”

“It’s 9AM. And Eren’s Birthday. We can’t let him down!”

“Fine, fine. I’m on my way!” Erwin showed up about 20 minutes later with a toolbox and coffee. He opened the door to see me surrounded by boxes.

“Jeez! Boxes much?!”

“You can thank Daddy Ackerman. These went straight on his credit card when I had it. All $2,000 worth. Eren’s going to have a badass birthday.”

“HOLY SHIT, LEVI!!! $2,000?!!”

“After the way they treated me, I don’t regret ANY of it.”

“So what exactly do you need MY help with?”

“Building this damn table. I have NO idea…” I reach him the instructions and he smiled.

“This isn’t so hard, Levi.” I sighed and began reaching Mr. Fix-it-all pieces from the giant box in front of me. He screwed the heater to the underside of the table, and began fastening on the legs. “Okay, do you have the power cord? And the adapter?” I dug through the box and found it.

“Yeah, here.” Erwin took them into him hands. And plugged it into the table.

“Where do you want it? Downstairs I’m hoping?”

“Yeah…but I’m just trying to pick a good spot. Where do you think?” I looked around the living room and frowned. Eren was so much more...easygoing. Especially about where he worked on his art. He would enjoy a place to relax as well. I sighed as I came to the conclusion. “We should probably scoot the couch over and put the table beside of it.”

“So move the chair this way?” Erwin pointed to the right some and I nodded.

“Yeah and move the TV back a little. Maybe put the couch diagonal a bit?”

“Okay. Move all of these boxes and bags first.” With Erwin’s help, we moved all of the rest of Eren’s presents towards the kitchen and began moving the furniture around. We positioned the new table by the couch and plugged the cord into the far wall. “Do you have the cover for it? A kotatsu has a blanket thing right? Then the tabletop?”

“Yeah! Let me grab it!” I grabbed the teal comforter out of the box as well as the black tabletop and brought it over to the slowly heating table. I threw the comforter over the top, and placed the tabletop down. “Looks great Erwin! Thanks!”

“No, problem.” He sat down on the couch and watched me smooth out the ruffles in the blanket. “Is it heating up?” I stuck my hand underneath and it was already warm inside.

“Yeah. I’m going to go ahead and switch it off until later though.” I turned the switch off. “I have an idea….actually pull that cord just in case. I know Eren too well.” Erwin yanked the cord out of the wall and sat back down. I went to work on one of his other presents, scrolling delicate letters in the card and placing the gift inside before sealing the envelope and taping it to the underside of the table.

“You are sneaky, Levi.” Erwin said with a chuckle.

“I know. I know…” I looked down into the box at my feet and grinned. “Speaking of sneaky I need your help later with Eren…could you distract him for a while, while I get things ready here? OH…The TV!!! It’s Upstairs! It needs hung up!”

“Levi…you really don’t think sometimes. Only you could forget about a fucking flat screen TV…” We trudged up the stairs and there leaning against the dresser was the 46 in television, wrapped neatly in its cardboard box. The bracket was in a box beside of it. Erwin starting cutting the cardboard off of it. “So you need my help distracting Eren?”

“I may just leave the party early. He can hang out with his friends a little longer. That seems like the best plan. Will you just give me a lift? Leave Hanji there maybe? Have her stop him if he tries to leave early.”

“Yeah. What are you fucking planning?” Erwin raised his eyebrow and I shrugged.

“A surprise. To show him all of this of course. I’ll show you once we get downstairs.”

“Fine, fine.” We mounted the TV, after quadruple checking to make sure it was level, and Erwin ran the necessary lines to it.

“And how much did it cost to have them pre-run the lines?”

“Not that much actually.” I smiled as I looked at the TV hanging on the wall. “I have to keep an eye on money now, you know. It’s just me and Eren bringing in everything, so we have to be careful.” Erwin nodded and patted me on the back.

“You guys are going to do fine, Levi.” He picked up his tools and we walked down the stairs together. “So what do you have left to do before we head to Anteiku?”

“I have to finish putting those into bags.” I motioned to the boxes and Erwin grinned. “Well that is what I’ll need your help with actually also.” I bagged up Eren’s gifts with a grin, bags and tissue paper flying around me as I did so.

“So this?” He picked the box up.

“Take it upstairs.”

“Gotcha.” I set the two bags down on the kotatsu and smiled. Hopefully Eren liked his presents. I really hoped he did. I grabbed a bow and stuck it on the kotatsu, before grabbing another, and running upstairs and sticking another on the TV. I had promised him a TV in the bedroom weeks, maybe even months ago, but it’d just never happened. Erwin grinned at the red bow on the TV and I smiled at the box on the floor of the bedroom.

“Ready to go, Levi?”

“Just have to pick up the trash in the living room, and then we can.” I gave the living room a quick run through, before following Erwin out to the car. We had a lot of decorating to help Hanji with before Eren arrived at Anteiku. Hopefully he’d enjoy the party. And the after party, of course.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has a birthday party! Part 2/3 of Eren's birthday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a fun chapter to write <3 heh. 
> 
> I desperately want to write tonight, but life seems to be getting in the way.
> 
> BUT, I have news :D I'm doing a cosplay photoshoot tomorrow as Levi! woot woot! AND I just happened to have bought a black bandana for the occasion ;) and I may or may not own a teal scarf and a black shirt. Can you say LCSU style cosplay? I can!!! ;) If it goes well I'll post along with the next chapter! Heh <3 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter!!! <333

Eren’s POV

I walked with Armin and Mikasa to Anteiku after school, and we chatted about nothing in particular. It had warmed up a little since I’d left the house this morning, but I didn’t want to take off my scarf. It smelled too much like Levi’s lingering scent. Too much like his cologne. I held hands with Mikasa as we walked and we swayed them back and forth together. The three of us each had a different colored scarf on. Mine was of course my favorite grey, Mikasa’s was the red I’d gotten her a while back, and Armin’s was a bright blue. He walked along the edge of the sidewalk, trying to keep his balance playfully as he finished up a story about his French class.

“So who all is going to be there, Eren?” Armin asked with a smile.

“Um, well, Isabel. She’s my boss and my friend. My other boss and friend Farlan. Jean of course. Maybe Marco, I’m not sure….”

“Who’s Marco?” Armin scooted closer to me with a smile.

“Ugh…he’s a kid from Trost. An art major!”

“Cool! You know so many people from the University, Eren!” Armin grinned and teetered close to the edge again. I gave Mikasa’s hand a squeeze and thought again.

“Levi, of course.”

“Eren and Levi sitting in a tree-“

“ARMIN!” I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed.

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” He danced as he sung it and jumped up on the edge of a cement wall to walk along side of us, now a good two feet taller than us.

“Amin, cut it out!”

“Fine, fine. Who else?!”

“Hmm…Hanji and Erwin. They were at dinner. I think that’s all…”

“Oh right! I remember them! They are funny! So speaking of K-I-S-S-I-N-G, how far has it went?”

“ARMIN!!!” It was Mikasa this time, sending a furious look towards the blonde. “I DON’T want to hear about what that midget had done to my brother!!!!” Armin jumped down off of the wall and nudged me with his elbow.

“Come on Eren! You two have been living together for a while, surely you’ve done it!!!” My face instantly went purple and I looked at my feet.

“UGHHHHH!” Mikasa huffed out beside me and I gave her hand a squeeze.

“Well…ugh…you see…Levi’s well…Levi is Levi….” Armin took up a slow pace in front of me and walked backwards.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He gave me a confused look.

“He’s…he’s…” I tried to think through my sentence in my head. To explain everything that Levi was to me in just a few words, but I just couldn’t. I’d just have to sum it up the best way I could. “He’s…taking his time with me…no pressure. We haven’t done THAT yet…” Mikasa looked over at me and blinked.

“Wait…you HAVEN’T?” I shook my head and swallowed hard.

“He’s really…he’s perfect guys…really slow. Really gentle with me. He wants to make sure I’m ready.” I felt the blush grown on my face and I ducked even further behind the folds of the stormy grey scarf. “I love Levi. And he loves me…And I really think that’s how it’s SUPPOSED to work…I just…he means so much to me…” I felt a stupid smile make it’s way onto my face and I wanted nothing more than to take Levi into my arms and kiss him as soon as I got to Anteiku.

“Wow…I can say that really surprised me.” Armin said with a smile. “I would have figured ages ago. Just from the way he looks, like a sex god and all.”

“Same.” Mikasa said with a frown. I just shook my head as Armin fell back into step beside me.

“No, Levi isn’t like that. Levi…Levi is my prince…He’d never do anything to hurt me or make me feel pressured.” I felt Armin pat my back and chuckle.

“Eren’s found his prince charming!” I felt my cheeks burning and my smile widened.

“Yeah, I really did guys. Levi…he’s everything to me.”

 

We arrived at Anteiku a few minutes later and said prince charming was waiting outside, arms crossed, and leaning up against the side of the building. The warm rays of sun were shining down on his face and he seemed to be taking them in, enjoying them. He smiled at me and relaxed as we walked up, and opened the door for Armin and Mikasa.

“Levi…can I talk to you for a second? Alone…” He raised his eyebrow, but let the door fall shut behind Armin.

“Sure, what’s up birthday boy?” People were swirling around us, but I really could care less. I needed his kiss. Needed his touch. His taste. Needed Levi. My prince. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him as close to me as I possibly could and I felt him practically melt against me. I brought my trembling lips down to his, nervous from any potential onlookers, but I really didn’t give a damn. I WANTED him. I needed his sweet kiss. Our lips brushed for a movement and he backed he face away for a second, bright grey eyes peering into mine as if to ask if I was really sure. This place was really public and there were so many people here today, but my mind was only set on one thing, and one thing only. LEVI. I smirked and hooked one hand in his undercut, bending him down slightly, then further and further, pressing myself down against him. My lips, my tongue, chest, my neck. My whole upper body against his. I was practically breathing him in. FUCK. Just. Need. This. I was dipping him backwards and- Oh. My. God. His foot popped up off of the ground. I felt him loop his arms around my neck and I just kissed deeper, giving him everything. My heart, my soul. It was his for the taking as we kissed there, just like a movie, in front of Anteiku.

Eventually, I had to put him back on his feet when our kiss became breathless and our cheeks were red from the lack of air, but Levi buried his face into my shoulder, hands hiding against my chest.

“W-What was that?! Brat…” I chuckled lightly and felt my heart pounding against him.

“A-A kiss?” He looked up at me with those unbelievable grey eyes and I just melted. So full of love and affection.

“That was more than a kiss, Jaeger. That was…that was fucking electric…” he breathed it and buried his faced again, chuckling softly against my chest, smile so wide I didn’t think it’d ever leave his face. “I’ve never been kissed like that before.”

“Good. I’ll be the only one doing it from now on.” I said with a grin. He dug his face down into my chest and nodded. We heard the bell of the shop ring and a familiar voice sounded. It was Hanji.

“Come on lovebirds! Time to close this place up and have a party!” Levi shyly looked up at me and grinned and I brought my lips down to his gently one more time.

“Let’s go, Eren. They’re waiting.” He licked his lips and tugged me inside, locking the door behind me, and turning the sign to ‘closed’. Isabel stuck the private party sign up on the door and I grinned.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY EREN!!!!” Blue and white balloons were all over the shop and I was smiling from ear to ear. I felt Levi snake his arm around my waist and I leaned into it. The streamers hung down from the ceiling in massive amounts in the same colors and I couldn’t help but smile. They’d went through so much trouble for me?

“PICTURES!!!” Hanji said as she jumped around with the camera. “Eren! Levi! SMILE!!” I looked over at Levi and his cheeks were still a rosy pink from the kiss that I’d claimed outside. I laughed lightly at him and he grinned at me, but we just smiled at each other first, then at the camera Hanji was holding. She took a few pictures, then she started pushing people into the picture with us. Armin and Mikasa next. Then she pulled Levi out, and got just the three of us. Then she got a group shot of everyone. Then everyone who worked at the shop. Then me, Levi, Jean and Marco. Wait…Marco was here?!

“Hey Marco! Thanks for coming!!”

“Sure! Happy birthday!” Jean was smiling from ear to ear and I could clearly see why. Marco’s arm was looped around his shoulder for each picture.

“Okay!” Hanji said with a devious grin. “Now kiss your boyfriends on the cheek!” All of our eyes went wide and we froze. “Come on!” Jean whimpered and hid his face into Marco’s shoulder, and Marco didn’t hesitate to pat his head.

“Come on Jean! It’s just a picture. For Eren’s birthday!” Jean’s head flew up and he grabbed Marco’s shoulders.

“BUT-WAIT….So…we’re official…” Marco smiled widely.

“If you want to be!” Jean’s face was turning red I’m sure…

In the meantime Levi was more interested in finding the right place to kiss on my cheek.

“Here…No here.” He grinned and kept moving his lips up and down my face, making me giggle.

“L-Levi! Hehehe-What-Ha-there-there’s fine!” He moved them once again and I placed my hands on his shoulders. “Stay put!” I heard Jean squeak next to me and Hanji snapped a picture. Levi was beaming as he pulled away and she stepped a little closer to us to take another.

“You guys are practically glowing today! I’m glad you’re so happy!” Levi pulled me into a hug and squeezed tight.

“I can do whatever I want to him in public now, without either of us getting in trouble. We don’t have to hide anymore and it’s great.” He nuzzle his face against my neck and I blushed a little. We hadn’t showed THIS much affection in public.

“Just keep it PG-13 Kids!” Isabel said with a grin as she brought out my cake. I beamed from ear to ear as she sat it down on the counter and lit the candles.

_Happy Birthday to You_

_Happy Birthday to You_

_Happy Birthday Dear Eren!_

_Happy Birthday to You._

Everyone sung it together and one detailed wish flashed through my head as I hovered over my candles. _Please, let Levi and I have a successful and happy relationship together. Let us live a happy life together and build a future together._ I blew out my candles and everyone clapped. A familiar hand looped around my waist again and I smiled. Levi was leaning against me as I got cake for both of us. We shared a chair, snuggled up hip to hip as we enjoyed the marble cake and set our plates aside once we were done.

“PRESENTS!!!” I smiled and Levi hugged me around my waist.

“As I told you this morning. My surprise to you is at the house, so you’ll have to wait.” He kissed my cheek. “And I’ll have to leave a bit early to get it ready, so you need to hang out here with everyone. Got it?”

“Yeah! Thanks.” I turned and our lips met tenderly and of course Hanji snapped a picture. How many did that even make today?

“Okay! Ours first!” Mikasa said with a smile as she dug through her backpack. She pulled out a package wrapped in blue paper and handed it to me. There was a card on the front, and I pulled it off. “We didn’t have a lot of money, so we did a joint gift! We hope you like it, Eren!!!”

**From: Mikasa and Armin**

I opened the card and the Wings of Freedom were drawn on the inside. Mikasa had really taken her time with it.

_Eren,_

_Please keep looking up. We both wish you a very happy birthday! Hopefully ~~the midge~~ t Levi is taking good care of you. He seems like he’s doing a good job at least, and you two seem very happy together! Here’s to a great birthday and another year of happiness!_

_Love,_

_Mikasa and Armin!_

 

I felt tears burning at my eyes but Levi squeezed me around my waist and I was able to use this distraction to push them away.

“Thanks guys!”

“Open it, Eren!” Armin said with a smile. I looked to the package on my lap and began ripping at the paper. My fingers trembled right after I spotted the spine of the first book.

“No…NO YOU DIDN’T?!”

“All of the available volumes!!!” Mikasa said excitedly. I ripped the rest of the paper off and sitting there in my lap, were all of the volumes of Shingeki no Kyojin.

“HOLY SHIT!” I shoved them into Levi’s arms and jumped across the coffee table into their arms. “THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!” I heard laughter all around me, and Armin said-

“Ouch! Your shoes! OUCH! Haha! You’re welcome Eren!” I jumped up off of them and ran back over to Levi, pulling the first few volumes out of his hands and jumping around with them.

“SHINGEKIIIIII!!!!” Hanji was snapping pictures and Levi was chucking as he sat there with the rest of the books on his lap, switching from watching me freak out to staring at the covers himself.

“Okay! Whenever you are ready, birthday boy…man! Whatever you are, Eren! Next one!” Hanji called out.

“Alright!” I set the stack of manga aside and Jean stepped up next to me with a bag in his hand.

“Happy birthday, Eren!”

“Thanks!” No surprise, Jean didn’t bother with a card, but the bag was loaded down. My eyes went wide as I pulled out a shirt.

“JEAN!!!” The Wings of Freedom insignia rested neatly on the front right where a breast pocket would be and the same one was one the back but this one was HUGE. “I LOVE IT!!!” I jumped to my feet and gave him a hug. I heard a ‘tch’ from behind me and I returned to my bag. I pulled out the five DVD’s that sat neatly in the bottom of the bag.

_Angel Beats_

_Clannad_

_Clannad: After Story_

_Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions_

_Steins; Gate_

“This is awesome Jean! I haven’t seen any of these. Have you, Levi?” I handed them over and Levi raised his eyebrow.

“Nope. I’ve heard of Angel Beats and Clannad, but those are anime that you watch alone.”

“We can watch them together!” I pressed a kiss to his cheek and stuffed everything back in the bag. “Thanks for everything, Jean!” I felt Levi’s arm around my waist again and Marco walked up this time.

“Just something small, but I hope you enjoy it! Happy birthday, Eren!”

“Thanks, Marco!” I peeled back the paper to reveal a set of drawing pencils and a sketchbook. My old sketchbook was almost completely full. “I REALLY needed a new one! Thanks again!”

“No problem!” He melted back against Jean’s side and waved.

“Okay! Ours next Ren Ren!” Isabel said with a grin.

“Stop coming up with random nicknames for him!” Levi said in an annoyed tone.

“You are just jealous you haven’t thought of a kawaii one Levi!” She stuck her tongue out and smiled and Levi just shook his head. “Okay, this one is from Farlan and Me. And well…I went a bit overboard to be honest…But…well just open it!” Farlan was shaking his head with a smile as he plopped the huge box down in front of me. I gave it a confused look.

“Reindeer?” The wrapping paper clearly had Rudolph and Frosty dancing all over it…

“I forgot the paper! Heh! It was all we had…”

“It’s fine! Thanks guys!” I grinned at I leaned over in the chair. I felt Levi shift against me and I tore into the box. My eyes went wide as I looked into….AGGGGGGHHH!!!!

“EREN!!!” He grabbed me around the waist because I almost dove headfirst into the box. “CALM DOWN!!!”

“BUT THERE’S-THERE’S-EVERYTHING!!!” I tried of struggle out of Levi’s arms to dive headfirst into the box but he wouldn’t have it.

“NO. I want my boyfriend in one piece. Sit on the floor. I’ll dump it out. Roll in it for all I care.” He let me loose and I plopped down in the floor and he did just as he said and dumped the contents of the box over my lap. DVD’s, manga, t-shirts, and let’s not forget the main thing here CANDY dumped out all over me. JAPANESE CANDY!!!!

“I got it all at my wholesale cost, so I just went crazy!” I ripped open a box of hello panda and began munching.

“HELLO PANDAS! UGHHH!” I picked up a manga next to my knee. “OH MY GOD, SWORD ART ONLINE!! LEVI!!!”

“I see it, brat! Take a breath and chew!” I chewed and swallowed. I kicked my legs a bit and grabbed the t-shirt sitting on my lap. I practically screamed. Bright blue eyes and black hair was staring right at me, a light teal scarf wrapped around his neck.

“YATOOOOOO!!!” I wiggled around and heard the camera snapping. I was in complete fangirl mode and I didn’t give a fuck. “Yato Yato Yato!” I held the t-shirt tight to my chest and held the hello pandas up in the air.

“Okay, 5 minute break for the lunatic here.” Levi said with a smirk. “He’s fucking lost it and went fanboy on me.”

“Yatoooo…”

“Oi. Don’t you want your other presents?” I looked up from my “otaku angel” that I’d made out of stuff in the floor.

“Yes, BUT LEVI, THIS IS.”

“I know. But you can look later.” He reach his hand out and pulled me up, helping me shovel everything back into the box. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Alright, next one?” I nodded and he pushed the giant box to the side.

“I guess that would be mine.” I smiled at Erwin as Levi actually pulled me down onto his lap.

“LEVI!”

“What? Who knows if you’ll go after that box again.” he said with that low chuckle. It sent chills through me.

“I won’t! I promise!” Erwin drug a huge tall box over and I looked a little confused. It looked heavy.

“If I said mine wasn’t a little boring, I’d be lying. So I brought this also.” He reach me a card to go along with it and I smiled. “But, I sort of texted everyone and found out what you actually needed. And this seemed to be the case, so…Happy Birthday!”

“Thanks Erwin!”

**To Eren**

I opened it up, and inside was a hand written letter, scrolled in Erwin’s delicate writing.

**_Good for one personal guided tour of any trail or park in the state for the length of a day. I will be your personal tour guide and attendant. This can be singularly or for a date for you and Levi. Have fun!_ **

“Wow! Thanks!” I handed the card to Levi to read and I turned my attention towards the box in front of me. I ripped the paper off to reveal a large black bookshelf. Just what I needed for all of my new manga and DVD’s!! “AWESOME!! I do need one now!”

“Your job is to dust that thing, brat!” Levi said from behind me.

“Because Levi can’t reach!” Hanji said with a chuckle.

“HA HA. Very funny.”

“I will, Levi! Thanks so much, Erwin!”

“Sure thing!”

“Okay, okay! Mine last!” Hanji said with a grin. She reach me a box and I opened it to reveal three 4x6 picture frames that were empty, sitting on top of a large binder. I gave her a confused look and lifted the frames out. One was teal, one was grey, and the other was an antiqued silver. I reach the frames to Levi to hold and pulled out the black binder. It wasn’t a small binder by any means, and whatever was inside was quite heavy. I opened the cover and the front page said

**_Memories for Eren & Levi _ **

**_Happy Birthday Eren!_ **

I blinked a few times and gave her a scared look as I felt my pulse begin to speed up and my fingers tremble as I flipped the first page. Fuck. Fuck, I couldn’t do this. Levi’s fingers laced through mine and I felt his breath against my neck. Maybe with his help I could.

“Eren, there are doubles of each photo in there, so you just have to open the sleeve and take it out. You can pick which ever ones you want and slip them in the frames.” I felt my breath hitch in my throat and I swallowed hard. Words just couldn’t flow. I just couldn’t… I looked down at the picture in the protective sleeve under my fingers and ran my hand over it.

It was a picture of Levi sleeping against my shoulder on the bus as we rode together on the Art trip. I had on my old clothes, and Levi looked just as he did now, but he was sharing earphones with me, snuggled up under the green throw blanket. Shit. This was before we even started dating. I felt tears threatening at my eyes again and I pushed them back. I couldn’t cry. Birthdays weren’t for tears. I flipped the page.

The pictures from Valentine’s Day were on this one. The one’s of Levi’s eyes glowing just perfectly in the sunset. Mine reflecting with purple and pink hues. Our arms around each other in the orange tones of the sunset. Red and pink sun kissed skin, our lips pressing against each other’s as we held onto one another, cheeks tinged pink. I couldn’t help it now as a few slid past my eyes. I rubbed at my eyes and Levi leaned his head against mine.

“T-This…This means so much to me…” I felt his thumb stroking mine and he nuzzled his head against the side of mine. Soft bangs touching my skin. “Thanks Hanji.”

“No problem, Eren! I’m glad you like it!” I nodded and flipped the page.

The picture that Levi had drawn me of us as scouts was after that, both of us together in uniform, up against the sunset, holding hands faces inches apart from each other. That one made my heart ache a little, but Levi hugged me and pressed a kiss to my cheek. The actual picture was first, then the physical drawing had been slipped in after it. FUCK. I let out a broken sob, remembering the hurt that night. The loss. The pain. I NEVER wanted to feel that again. I never wanted to be without him. He was my rock, my prince, my everything.

“Shhhh, Eren. It’s alright. It’s supposed to be a happy thing. It’s not going to happen again. We both know that. Look how far we’ve made it.” I nodded violently and Levi wiped my tears away. After I gave myself a minute or so to calm down, I kept looking at the photos.

Next were the pictures of everyone from the Host Club dinner. I felt Levi’s chin on my shoulder as I looked at the pictures and I smiled. Mikasa, Armin, Erwin, Hanji. Everyone looked so happy. I smiled at the picture of Isabel and Farlan sharing cake. Jean on his laptop. The pictures of us all dancing together. Me dipping Levi down, Marco spinning Jean, Isabel and Farlan twirling happily. One big happy host club. I flipped through the pages one by one and finally go to the picture that I KNEW was there. The one of me holding the bouquet of roses while I was dressed as Hikaru. Levi was leaned over, dressed as Kaoru giving me a kiss for doing such a great job. We were so happy that night. I grinned at the picture and Levi pressed a kiss to my neck.

I flipped on to the next page and to my surprise, I found the pictures from our blizzard in Pittsburg.

“H-How?!”

“I may or may not have gotten the pictures off of your phone while you were asleep.” Levi said before pressing a kiss to my cheek. “Forgive me?”

“Yeah! These are some of my favorites!” I looked over the photoset with a soft smile. Levi smiling gently as the snow fell around him. His arm around me as we smiled and nearly touched faces with snowflakes in our hair, and lastly Levi pulling me in for a kiss as blankets of snow fell around us. I remember him stuffing it back in my pocket after he took that picture, just to keep kissing me. There were a few blank pages left, and I smiled at the additional room.

“And plenty of room for more memories!” Hanji said with a clap. “Happy Birthday, Eren!”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” I wiped at my eyes again, completely overwhelmed by everyone’s gifts and friendship and I just smiled from ear to ear. Life really was worth living.

“You gonna be alright, babe?”

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” I pressed a kiss to Levi’s lips and smiled. He brushed my bangs away and gave me a soft grin.

“Alright. We’ll load this stuff up and take it home for you. Meet me at the house in an hour. Sound good?”

“Sure!” One more kiss and Erwin and Levi were packing up everything, heading out the door with a wave. I just couldn’t wait for Levi’s birthday present for me, no matter what is was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's birthday present to Eren! Part 3/3 of Eren's birthday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so lots of things to post along with this one. The songs of course.
> 
> This Love- Shinhwa
> 
> Love Me Like You Do- Ellie Goulding 
> 
> And then a few fun things!!! :D I did a Levi cosplay Photo Shoot! One was a regular Levi cosplay and one was for Love Can Save Us!!! <3 The Links Will Be Below! ^.^ <3   
> [Love Can Save Us Cosplay](http://xxdeja-uchihaxx.tumblr.com/post/113666574635/levi-love-can-save-us-inspired-cosplay-3)  
> [Levi Cosplay](http://xxdeja-uchihaxx.tumblr.com/post/113474948825/a-few-of-my-favorites-from-the-shoot-today-d)
> 
> Also, MY TATTOO IS FINALLY FINISHED!!! YAY!!! It's got the Wings of Freedom and Asuna and Kirito from Sword Art Online on a background of AMAZING clouds!!!   
> [My Tattoo!](http://xxdeja-uchihaxx.tumblr.com/post/113535060160/wings-of-freedom-and-sword-art-online-tattoo)
> 
> Enjoy the chapter Loves <3333 Comments are always <3'ed

Eren’s POV

Hanji walked me home about an hour later and Erwin’s car was out front waiting. She gave me a wave, hopped in with him, and they drove off. Hmm. That was odd. I opened the door and OH. MY. GOD.

“Hello Eren.” Levi grinned at me as I walked through the door. My mouth fell open and I almost forgot to take my shoes off. Or shut the door. Right. That thing. Levi was sitting on a table. (When did we get that-WAIT?!?!) I slung off my shoes and went to run over but he shot me a look. “FREEZE. Slow down. Walk. Slowly. Take it in. Don’t rush. This is all for you, so you don’t have to hurry.” He was smiling at me and my heart was thumping in my chest. I was halfway across the living room just starting at him in disbelief.

Levi was fucking sitting on a kotastu (MY kotatsu?) dressed as the Captain from Shingeki no Kyojin with possibly the reddest rose I’d ever seen in his hand. His legs were crossed elegantly and dear God, those leather straps were just running up the contours of his legs and thighs just right. He didn’t even have a wig on, because he didn’t need one. The cut was just right and it made the whole transformation perfect. My Levi, my Captain. FUCK. I took a few more steps, one, two, three shaky steps until I was right up against him. He even had the boots. Brown leather running the length of his calf, all the way past his knee. The leather apron was tucked and tied just right around his waist. I could only imagine how it looked in the back. I looked up and his undershirt was a crisp, clean white, and there, tied perfectly against his neck was the cravat. I timidly reach my hands out, wanting to feel the soft silken fabric in my fingers, but half expected to hear a snide remark, much like the Captain in Shingeki.

“Go ahead babe.” His words were soft and soothing, and his fingers found my hair, gently running through my chestnut colored locks. I sighed in relief. He hadn’t gone full character. I was so thankful. He smiled softly and my fingers fell to the fabric in front of me, stroking the silken layers. It was perfect. Elegant. His leather jacket was sticking out just so, around the cravat and underneath his cloak and my God, he’d put on all of the layers just for me. My stomach churned and my heart was threatening to beat out of my chest. I didn’t see the swords anywhere, but quite frankly, I didn’t give a fuck.

“L-Levi. This is…You did this for me?” I looked up into those captivating greys that I loved so much and he smiled, reaching the rose to me. I gladly accepted it, smiling like an idiot.

“Of course I did. I love you, Eren. I figured this would make you happy. It did, right?”

“YES. This was the best birthday present ever!!!” He wrapped his arms around my waist, and mine around his neck, the rose just dangling in my hand behind him and our lips were together, kissing delicately. I felt the leather heating up against me, the different layers of his outfit rubbing against one another and I couldn’t help but let out a sigh.

“Okay, okay. Presents.” I pulled away with a soft huff, wanting nothing more than to simply stand here between Levi’s legs and kiss him for the rest of the night.

“I love the kotatsu! It’s wonderful, Levi!” he chuckled and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“I’m glad babe, but I have other things for you as well. Here.” He reach behind him and pulled out two bags. One white and one blue. Then it struck me. Right then and there. Levi had chosen the colors for my party. Levi had coordinated every last detail.

“W-Why white and blue? You like teal so much…” he smiled and stroked my hair softly, before jumping down off of the table.

“It wasn’t for me, Eren. It’s your birthday. Let me show you why I chose white and blue.” He spun around, and as his cloak fluttered my heart thumped. There resting on his back, were the wings of freedom. I swallowed hard as I realized the colors and as he turned back around he hugged me from behind. “Now you understand? You’re becoming so strong, Eren. Strong like the Shifter. He’s so determined. Just like you. He’ll never give up on anything. So please keep being brave. I’m so proud of you. That’s why I chose those colors.” I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment as Levi whispered into my ear and I swallowed hard. I would keep trying. I would try my best for the both of us. I nodded harshly as I felt his lips curl into a smile against my neck and I felt the handles of the bag against my fingertips. “This one first.” I opened my eyes and found the white bag in my hand, blue tissue paper sticking out of the top.

“Thank you Levi. You have no idea…”

“Just open it brat.” He muttered it against my neck and I grinned, ripping out the blue paper. I peered inside the bag, and my eyes went wide.

“A COSPLAY?!”

“Yeah! Dump it out on the table if you want.” He backed up a little, leaving his hand on my lower back, as I dumped the contents of the bag out onto the top of the kotatsu. A full suit/vest combo with a chain attached fell onto the table in front of me, along with a black wig. The wig was cut short in the back with long bangs in the front. I nearly let out a gasp as I picked up the bottle that rolled around on the table.

“Contacts?!”

“Yes. You can’t be Sebastian without them.”

“LEVI!” I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a deep kiss. “THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!”

“MHPHHH-welcome.” He pulled away with a chuckle and winked. “You can’t really be Sebastian without Ciel either, can you?” My jaw dropped open.

“W-WAIT?! You-YOU ARE-“

“I got the Ciel cosplay for myself actually.”

“LEVIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! AGGHHHH!!!!” I was jumping up and down and hugging him tight.

“Okay! Cool it! Present two! Here!” He pushed the second one into my hands and I beamed at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. I pulled the tissue paper out and looked inside again and-

“Levi.” I nearly dropped the bag and he caught it and steadied my hands. The other hand he laced his fingers with for a moment and encouraged me to take a deep breath. “Levi-you didn’t…” He was giving me the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen, gently stroking my cheek as he just decided the hold the bag in between us with his body pressed against mine. It was working pretty well. I felt tears welling up again and my head fell to his shoulder.

“You can’t keep being brave and determined without wings of your own, Eren.” I let out a gasp at his whispered words and the bag crinkled in between us.

“L-Levi!!” I grabbed a hold of his cloak and he pulled me closer.

“I love you, Eren. Please, try it on for me?” I nodded against him and after giving myself a few moments to calm down, I pulled away and after pushing the first cosplay aside, I dumped the second out on the table. All of the leather straps and buckles were in bags of their own, but right there in front of me, was my undershirt, my jacket, my boots, and my cloak. I grabbed the cloak and with a little help from Levi, I swung it around and buttoned it. I was smiling from ear to ear.

“I love it, Levi. I really really do. Thank You. I love you. God, you have no idea. You’ve made this the best birthday ever.” He grinned and pulled me forward into a kiss by my cloak. I could DEFINITELY get used to that.

“The day isn’t over yet, brat. Sit down at the kotatsu.” He smiled deviously and I I sat down, and Levi sat beside me, his hands lifting up the covers for me. My cloak fluttered out behind me as I sat. We snuggled up underneath the blanket but…it wasn’t hot underneath?

“Levi…isn’t the heater supposed to be on?”

“Well yes and no.” I was really confused now and he smiled and ran my hand along the underside of the table. I gave him a strange look until I felt an envelope underneath my fingertips. Levi helped me pull it off and he walked over to the wall to plug in the kotatsu. He switched it on when he returned and I felt my toes heat up. I looked down at the envelope in my hands. He pressed a kiss to my cheek and smiled. “Go ahead. Open it.” I grinned and ripped the card open.

**_To my dearest Eren,_ **

**_We’ve really been through some tough times these last few weeks and I’m happy to say that we’ve made it. We’re stronger now because of it. YOU’RE STRONGER. I’m so proud of you and everything you are becoming. You are an outstanding person and I hope you have a perfect birthday. I will do everything I can to make your birthday out of this world for you. You deserve it._ **

**_Love,_ **

**_Levi Heichou <3 _ **

I looked at the golden insert in the card. It was a little gold envelope, but I don’t think it was money. There was something heavy inside. I opened it up and there were two plastic cards tops sticking out? I dumped them out and my heart did a flip flop. Sora-con was written across the bottom and there was a girl with blue hair on the card. The card said 3 Day pass. A key also fell to the table on top of the passes.

“LEVI ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!!” He grinned and flipped the pass over. There was a piece of paper sticking inside. I was almost scared to look. I shut my eyes for a moment, but opened up the protector and pulled out the folded paper. I unfolded it and as soon as I glanced at it, I jumped out from under the kotatsu and fell into his arms. “YOU-YOU’RE JOKING RIGHT?! RIGHT?!” I almost couldn’t breathe. I really was crying from happiness as I held the hotel confirmation in my hand. And it wasn’t just for our room. It was for several rooms. Levi was paying for our friends to go. I was gasping for air as my tears leaked out against his shoulder. He rubbed my back in small circles trying to calm me down.

“Shhhh, it’s okay.”

“HOW-How, How, did you?!”

“Dad’s credit card actually. The asshole did some good. Everyone already has their passes and everything. Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Isabel, Farlan, Erwin and Hanji. My only request was that we have a room alone of course.” I nodded frantically and gripped at his neck, pressing kisses wherever I could reach.

“Fuck….Levi…I just…You…you are the best.” He smirked and lifted me up to my feet. He switched off the kotatsu and took my hand in his.

“Actually, that’d be you. You led me through some pretty shitty times here lately and I have yet to really thank you for it, Eren. So, thank you. Really.” I beamed at him and let him lead me up the stairs one by one to the bedroom. Wait…something was different up here. HOLY SHIT!

“A TV?! HOLY SHIT!!!”

“Surprise!” He turned it on and pressed play and music started drifting through the bedroom. Levi wrapped his arms around my waist and chuckled against my neck as we danced along to the music, not really stepping around, just moving with each other. “This is Shinhwa!” Levi smirked and got closer to me, humming along to the song. We hadn’t memorized the lyrics yet, but we had looked at the English lyrics together just a few days ago, and they were running through my head as the song played.

 

_The red light – in this stopped time, only your scent remains_

_Like a dream I’m not waking from, I’m falling more and more into you_

 

Levi leaned closer to me, and I could smell his cologne. I ran my hands up and felt the soft undercut, do for a shave probably, but I could really care less, with the longer strands of hair resting perfectly on top. I could smell the new leather from the coat and I ran my hands underneath the cloak to feel it. It was smooth and everything I imagined it would feel like. The lamp was still on in our bedroom and I pulled back a little to look at Levi. He was smiling softly at me. Pressing kisses to my face, to my lips, to my jaw. Levi was astonishing in every sense of the word. His eyes were practically glowing, outlined in his usual black line.

_The green light – I have gone crazy, should I rush to you?_  
  


_My heart sounds like it’ll burst, it races only for you_

  


 

I brought out lips together, and his hands dared to knot in my hair, to bring us closer still as we moved and danced together. Completely alone in our apartment. Aside from a sleeping Kirara downstairs in her bed. But Levi had already fed her and she was out for the night.

_Like satellites and shooting stars, like a star that has seen the sun_

_I revolve around you, though you’re hot, I approach you_

 

 

His breath was soft and warm, slightly excited against my mouth even? I parted my lips and our tongues played in their own sensual dance. I felt Levi’s hand brush at the skin between my shirt and my pants and I shuddered. Our cloaks fluttered as we moved together, gently swaying together to the music. I pulled back a bit, breaking the breathless kiss with a huffing chest. I ran my hand over his face, brushing his bangs out of the way and I grinned, taking a step back towards the bed. Oh wait…he had all of this gear on.

 

_Finally, I hold you (holding your heart) and dazzle as I burn up_  
  


 

I unbuttoned his cloak first and neatly folded it, sitting it on top of the dresser. He smiled in satisfaction as I took great care with his uniform. I knew it meant just as much to him as it did to me. The wings of freedom were a symbol that meant so much. He took mine off next, carefully folding it in the same manner and placing it right on top of his. I worked on the buckles of his gear next, along with his boots. He lifted a leg at a time, allowing me to pull each one off. I set the pair aside and kept working on the harness, running my hands along his body as I undid each buckle and clasp. The smell of fresh leather was certainly intoxicating. His eyes watching me as I did this however, were a whole different level of entrancing.

_We live for this love_

 

I leaned up to capture his lips again, and that same sweetness that I loved kissed me back. That same flavor that was solely Levi. His scent drifted around me, mixed with leather, and new fabric and soft touches and my pulsing heartbeat and I took his hand into mine for just a moment. I had to calm my nerves or this harness would never come off. My hands would be so shaky that it’d have to stay on for the rest of the night and he wouldn’t be able to move.

 

_The firelight – the moment I’m trapped in your burning eyes_

  


 

 

We stood there for a moment and he held me securely against him, reassuring me with soft kisses and gentle touches. He massaged my shoulders a bit, trying to get me to relax. “Just a few more buckles, babe. You’ve got it.” I smiled and after one final kiss, I leaned down to his thighs and undid the last of the buckles, letting the whole mess of straps fall to the floor. Levi was free from the leather bindings at least.

 

“Now that’s taken care of-“He lifted my shirt above my head and my face turned red. I ducked my face into his shoulder and he pressed a kiss to my head. Why was I feeling embarrassed now, after we’d done so much? I shivered as his hands ran over my bare back, feeling odd to be uncovered all of a sudden. My fingers worked on the buttons of his shirt and he breathed lightly, rubbing delicate circles on my back as I worked, undoing the white button up completely. Only rippled muscle remained underneath as he shrugged off the shirt, taking a step closer with me towards the bed.

_One kiss from you will wake me up, I feel like I can have the whole world_

  


“L…Levi.” I lifted my red face up to look at him and he smiled at me, completely taken over by love and his other emotions.

“Yeah?”

“C-Can we turn off the lamp? Just leave the night light on, like usual?”

“I don’t see why not.” He leaned over and turned the light off, casting us both in just the blue light of my bed side light. I sighed in relief as the pressure washed away. The pressure of worrying about appearances, about scars, about pasts. I knew Levi didn’t care, and I knew he had completely fallen head over heels for every aspect of me and my body, but I still felt self-conscious about my scars. And I knew Levi well enough to know he’d understand that. He pressed me up against the edge of the bed, to where the backs of my knees touched and they nearly buckled. His words echoed in my head, no pressure, in our timing, when you are ready, but I just wasn’t sure. Everything was so confusing, and my heart, my body, and my brain just didn’t want to work together. I looked down into his eyes and he looked up into mine, then our lips met again, a little more hungrily this time, aching for that taste. The familiar taste of each other. His hand was on my belt buckle, undoing it’s latch and as we broke our kiss, it hung loose at the edge of my jeans. I undid the last buckle on Levi’s outfit as well. The last brown belt, and unzipped his white jeans, which he promptly pulled down, along with his underwear and stepped out of. He returned his attention to me and unzipped my jeans and slowly pulled them off, but left my underwear on. I’m not really sure why.

 

_Like satellites and shooting stars, like a bee that has seen a flower petal_

  


 

 

“Levi?” Another kiss and he was playing with the waistband. Thumbs hooking underneath. I was moaning into the kiss. I wanted his touch. Needed it in fact. In a matter of seconds my underwear was forgotten on the floor and Levi was pulling me up into the bed with him, all of our clothes and his maneuver gear left on the floor.

“Eren…” That look. His eyes were lust-filled and hungry. He wanted to devour me, and I knew mine had the same look. I just wanted him to touch me. His hands were running over my chest and God did they feel perfect. “How far do you want this to go?” My eyes popped open and I buried my face into his shoulder again. Truthfully I’d been thinking about it A LOT. I was trying to convince myself that I was ready, but I just wasn’t sure. I tried to sink deeper against Levi as my mind ran wild. “What do you want me to do? It’s your birthday.” My fingers caught in his hair and I whimpered as I felt him rub his toned thigh against me.

 

_I revolve around you, I approach you without hesitation_  
  


_Finally, I hold you (holding your heart) and fly up high_

 

_We live for this love_

 

“L-Levi…I…I’ve been thinking…a lot…I…I love you…I trust you. I like it when you touch me. I really liked it when you…the night on vacation and well…I…well…It’s my birthday.” His eyes went wide and he blinked a few times, unbelievingly.

“Wait…you…You want…sex?!” I blushed a fiery red and buried my face again in the crook of his neck.

“NOT IF YOU DON’T!! Never mind!! I didn’t say anything!!” He chuckled softly and ran his fingers through my hair.

“Eren, babe. Listen, it’s fine. If you are ready, we can.” My stomach did a flip-flop and I peeked up at him.

“R-really?”

“Yeah.” He took my hand in his and brought our lips together again, kissing softly at first, then deepening it, driving me practically mad. I was already hard enough as it was, and he was just making it worse. We pulled apart and he pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You’ve thought about it then?”

“Yeah. I want this, Levi. I want you….” I pulled him down closer and kissed him again, claiming the mouth that was mine. Levi ‘s breath was hot against mine, and his skin even hotter. I wanted closer. I wanted him to touch me and I wanted to touch him, too. I pulled away, desperately looking into his eyes, searching for some hint or some sign. Some green light. I was so fucking scared…

“Your fingers are trembling, Eren…” I swallowed hard and looked away, his careful gaze too much for me to handle.

“Are you sure?” I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, because God knows how nervous and excited I was. Everything could just come crashing down at once, a crash landing. Or it would turn into something spectacular, we didn’t know until we tried. I brushed my trembling fingers against his face as he looked down at me. Levi was on top of me, his full weight pressing me down into the mattress. I welcomed it, welcomed his warmth, his strong arms at my sides. I tried so hard to form words, but they just weren’t coming. I just wanted to tell Levi that I was sure, but my nerves had taken control of my vocal chords. Sure I was terrified, sure I was nervous, but I was also excited beyond anything! I was ready to take this next step with him! Ready to dive into this commitment with him. I wanted to be closer to Levi, wanted to express just how much he meant to me. I loved Levi more than words could ever say, and it made my heart ache, made me yearn for him. Made me want him. All I could manage was to turn turquoise back to grey and nod with all I had. Nod and then raise my head up frantically and crash our lips together as my heart crashed against my chest. If I didn’t react now, I may back out, and that’s not what I wanted. I wanted Levi. All of him. I wanted to be his, completely his. My fingers knotted in his hair and he moaned softly into our kiss, arms going weak beside me, falling on top of me.

 

_I can’t get enough, I can’t get off of your love_  
  


_I can’t live without your love, I am addicted_

 

 

Our chests were flush with one another and he was just so damn close. And this was so real. I took a deep breath and willed my hands to move. I wanted to really explore what was mine. I was always too nervous, too scared. It was time to change. Time to stop being fucking embarrassed. His cheeks were tinged with pink and as I moved my hands down his neck, brushing his shoulders, right against his collarbones, they turned a darker shade of red. He let out a light breath and it encouraged me further to touch more, to explore, to play. I took a shaky breath and actually set up, drawing a raised eyebrow from him, but he gladly moved, never considering holding me down as an option.

“C-Can I…be on top of you for a while?” I brushed my fingers over his chest and he smirked, rubbing underneath my chin.

“If that’s what you want.” Another brief kiss, another swipe of tongues, and his head was against the pillows. I carefully straddled his hips, face glowing red. I ignored my maroon cheeks, and let my instincts guide me. I wanted this. I wanted Levi. Wanted to touch him. Test him. Taste him.

 

_In a blink of an eye, I’m by your side_  
  


_When we kiss, I feel so high_

 

_We live for this love_  
  


 

I leaned over, placing on hand on the bed to hold myself steady as the other ran over him. Across his shoulders, down into the dips of his collarbones, down his chest. Grey eyes were staring up at me as I touched him, his hand smoothing and combing at my hair as I did. I leaned forward a little more, directing my mouth to the areas I’d already paid attention to. My mouth made it’s way to his neck, and the smell of his cologne drifted around me. His hand fastened to the back of my neck and he let out a whimper as I closed down on his neck, even daring to leave a mark. Levi was mine after all. He wiggled against me as I did it and it just encouraged me further. Fueled the fire. I moved down to the crook of his neck, licking, kissing and eliciting a moan from him, so I sucked a little more, turning the surface purple.

_I’m a shooting star inside a solar system called you_  
  


_I am pulled to you, you’re a black hole that I can’t deny_

  


He kept whining under me, making these wonderful sounds, and I almost wanted to rush through this. Almost. I moved lower, scooting down his body, down to those collarbones that were so damn sexy. They dipped and stuck out so sexily. I ran my fingertips over them before giving them a lick and light kisses. Levi was panting under me, frantically combing through my hair. I smiled up at him, and grey eyes watched me carefully as I moved lower, finally finding the pink buds that I’d been wanting to test. I rant a fingertip over his left and he arched under me.

 

_It’s automatic, systematic, in this universe_  
  


_I am pulled to you, you’re a black hole that I can’t deny_

  


“Eren!” This was going to be interesting. I smirked up at him and tested the other and he reacted in the same way, this time with a whine. I chuckled and lowered my mouth down to his nipple, licking lightly around it first, making him wiggle, then taking it completely in. “NGNN-EREN! FUCK!”I swirled my tongue around and his hand gripped my hair. Hard. I stopped and pulled back. His eyes were glazed over, but he pulled me up to face him.

“Fuck, sorry. So sorry.” Gentle fingers were rubbing the spot he’d pulled and soft words soothing my pounding heart. “Didn’t mean it. Got carried away.” I nodded and buried my face against his for a moment, letting him soothe the worries away. I know Levi would never hurt me on purpose, but the threat of pain was so real. We were so close and it was so easy. I’d let down all of my walls for him, and he could tear into me at any moment if he wanted to. But I knew he never would. Levi was my protector. “Love you, Eren. You alright?” I nodded again and lifted my head up.

  
“Love you too. I’m fine…Sorry…I know it shouldn’t scare me…”

“No, I understand. Believe me.” He was rubbing soft circles into my scalp and kissing my forehead. “Anything I can do to make you more comfortable babe. I’ll do it.” Another kiss another nod. We brought out foreheads together and I felt his breath against me, calming me further. “Why don’t you relax for a while, Eren? Let me take a turn?” He smiled and my eyes went wide as he gently switched places with me, tucking me down beneath him into the nest of blankets and pillows we’d made.

 

_Everytime I Count 1 2 3_  
  


_The world around us stops_  
  


_Follow the pounding beat_

  


 

Levi was mirroring my movements almost, except with delicate precision. Kisses so light, his lips ghosted against my skin. I even pressed on the back of his head a little to encourage him to kiss just a little harder. Kisses were completely different than pulling hair. Kisses were a completely loving gesture. He was making his way down my neck, kissing, licking lightly and he hovered over my pulse that was throbbing out of control. I felt his fingers glide over it for a moment and he pulled back to look at me.

_In my dreams, when I’m awake, always be by my side_  
  


_Don’t be afraid, hold my hand, I’ll protect you_

 

 

“Eren…can I?” All rational thought was gone. I just wanted his lips on me. I nodded and he sunk down again, pulling me closer, his lips cradling against the artery in my throat. I let out a whine as he sucked the red mark into place and my hand dug into his shoulder. I was his. Just as much as Levi was mine, I couldn’t forget that it was the other way around as well. I belonged to Levi. We were a pair. A team, and one without the other just didn’t work. I beamed at him as he pulled away and he grinned at me. “What are you so happy about, Jaeger?”

“That I don’t have to worry about people seeing them, anymore.” I brought our lips together again, tongue darting out to lick over Levi’s lower lip before he dove in capture my mouth. He kissed me until I was pushed all the way down into the pillows, surrounded by soft pillows, his arms, and his kisses. We separated, only to regain the desperate need of air. The song switched and the familiar lyrics echoed through the room.

_You're the light, you're the night_

 

I felt his hand wandering down my neck and I looked up to see him scooting lower, teasing my chest, my nipples. I groaned as he stroked them lightly and licked over them, but he kept moving down. Lower and lower, hands rubbing over my ribs, across my stomach. They played and rubbed over my hip bones for a moment before he hovered over my cock. I whimpered as I looked down with my heavily lidded haze. Levi was just inches away from my length. He gave me a teasing lick and I nearly lost it, gripping the sheets beneath me. He took me into his mouth and sucked hard, going up and down a few times, before pulling away to press a few kisses to my inner thigh. I groaned in protest, but Levi worked his way back up my body, claiming my lips again. FUCK.

_You're the color of my blood_

 

 

I feverously kissed him back with everything I had, pouring my whole heart into the kiss. It was a bit sloppy, but I didn’t care at this point. I just needed him to keep touching me, running his hands over me, making me feel like that. I whimpered as he pulled away and tried to pull him back down.

_You're the cure, you're the pain_

 

 

“Shhh, be right back.” I felt his weight shift and he was leaning off the side of the bed. I watched him dig through the drawer of his bedside table. I whimpered as I saw various tubes and bottles. Just how many people had Levi slept with? I fisted the pillow beside me and swallowed hard. What if I wasn’t good enough? What if I didn’t please him? What if I didn’t compare to his last partners? What if I couldn’t get over the pain? What if it didn’t fit?! OH GOD. “Eren. Babe. Look at me.” I brought terrified turquoise up to mellow grey and lips met lips. Warm breath against shaky gasps. “What’s wrong? Talk to me?” I just shook my head and looked at the open drawer. I’d never looked in the bottom drawer of Levi’s nightstand. I’d never had a reason to. His fingers were in my hair and I let out a shaky breath.

“How…how many?” I looked away, completely mortified of my question. Levi was fucking sexy. He could have anyone he wanted and I knew it. I would simply be in denial if not. He sighed and placed a kiss to my forehead.

“Two. But, none of this was from them.” I looked at the drawer again and Levi pointed to the price tags still on the boxes and bottles. “Besides…I wasn’t…ugh…” He scratched at the back of his head and smiled at me. “They were a little more… dominant than me?” He said it with a nervous chuckle. “I did switch with one of them a few times, so I know what I’m doing…” My face was going purple, I’m sure of it. He’d only had two partners? That wasn’t so intimidating… “But I filled this drawer up for us when you moved in actually.” I looked down again and my eyes went wide. Damn.

“L-Levi…I’m a little nervous now…” He grabbed a bottle out of the drawer and shut it, then snuggled up to my side.

“Don’t be nervous. Everything will be okay. It’s just me, right?” I nodded and he took my hand in his, kissing every trembling finger. “But if you want to stop at any time, just say the word, okay?”

“Okay.” Another breathless kiss. Another perfect moment or grey gazing into teal. His hand ran down my thigh and I was practically ACHING for his touch now.

_You're the only thing I wanna touch_

 

“You ready?” I nodded and he moved, giving my needy cock a few welcomed strokes. I practically arched up off of the bed as he pumped me and he smiled up at me. How had he lasted this long without being touched? He was nestled in between my legs, looking up at me with that sweet caring smile of his. He opened the bottle, (It looked plain from what I could tell) and threw the seal in the floor before wetting his fingers. “Just relax. Same as last time.” I nodded and gripped the sheets as I felt him begin the stroke my entrance with that same slow teasing motion for a few seconds before gently pushing inside. I cried out and dug into the mattress, welcoming the familiar feeling again.

_Never knew that it could mean so much, so much_

 

“Levi!” He was smiling up at me, but he left his finger still aside from pushing it a little deeper. He was stretching me and I could feel the familiar burning beginning. He moved his finger a bit and curled it towards him, making me shiver. He did it a few more times, and I knew he was already on the search for my sweet spot. After I adjusted to the first digit he pulled it out and added a little more lube to his fingers to add a second. He pushed a little harder to get them to slide in this time, and it was a bit uncomfortable. I groaned as his fingers pushed past the tight muscle, stretching me and pulling. I felt the familiar ache shoot through me and I reach for him. FUCK. Levi draped his hand across my thigh and our hands connected.

_You're the fear, I don't care_

 

“Just relax babe.” He was kissing my thigh, and stroking my hand with his thumb, gently encouraging me. His fingers were stationary and somehow the burning muscles found a way to loosen. Levi finally began to move them in and out, enticing a moan from me. He tried to hook them again and-

_Cause I've never been so high_

 

“HNNG-“ I jerked up, nearly pulling his fingers out as I did and he chuckled, low and sexy. That blinding white pleasure was slamming into me from that spot only Levi could find. He repeated the motion a few more times until I was writhing in front of him. “P-Please. L-Le-Levi!” Once more and then the fingers were gone and the bottle popped open again. My eyes screwed shut and I prepared myself. I was scared, but ready. Levi’s weight shifted and he was over me, pressing soft kisses to my face. But he wasn’t in the position I’d expected him to be in. His hand was worming it’s way down again, tickling at my entrance. Massaging with his fingers. His lips were on mine and I knew the angle was awkward for him, I knew it had to be straining his arm and shoulder. Our tongues moved together and his fingers rubbed at my entrance, and I was just left wondering why? Why was he OH-MPHH! FUCK. Three fingers pushed in as gently as they could and I struggled to keep my tears back. I held onto Levi with all my strength, clawed at his shoulders, held around his neck.

_Follow me to the dark_

 

“FUCK! H-Hurts…Levi!” I buried my face in his neck and tried to move my body so the adjustment didn’t ache as badly. He was pressing gentle kisses to my face, whispering sweet words to me, and I was just sinking against him. My hisses eventually faded to whimpers and then to soft breaths as the muscles stretched and relaxed around his fingers. He started with slow movements at first, pulling back to look at me and when he saw there was no pain, he curled his fingers again, making me fall apart underneath him. I was spiraling out of control. Falling for Levi all over again. Soon enough, those fingers were removed as well leaving me utterly and completely empty. I whined for Levi to fill me with his fingers again and he smiled and pressed a kiss to my lips.

“Something better is coming. Trust me.” I nodded and swallowed my heart back down into my chest. Levi looked like he could completely eat me up, and I didn’t have a problem with that. I relaxed back into the sheets as he kissed my neck and chest a few times, as he adjusted himself between my legs. I chanced a glance for myself of his aching cock, and sure enough, it was an angry red, much like mine. “You sure about this, Eren?” I looked up into warm grey, and saw nothing but devotion and love. I was more than sure.

_Let me take you past our satellites_

 

 

“I-I’m sure, just…can you hold my hand? I’m…a little nervous.” He smiled affectionately and leaned forward, intertwining our fingers together. I gave his hand a squeeze and a smile and nuzzled my cheek against our connected hands.

_You can see the world you brought to life, to life_

 

 

The bottle popped again and I saw Levi looking down with concentrated eyes. He let out a shaky breath and pushed my legs apart a bit further. I gave his hand another squeeze and my stomach sank in anticipation. My lip was caught between my teeth as I watched him, and then I felt him slowly pressing against me. His eyes were shifting between my face and what he was doing, but mine were glued to his. I felt myself stretching and he wasn’t even IN yet, just pressing against me. I whimpered and tightened my grip, then he pushed, as gently as possible I know, and I dug my nails into his hand. He was moving slowly, but FUCK. Fuck it hurt so bad. He was pushing against me, filling me all the way to the brim and he stopped, coming to a complete halt. He wiped his hands on the sheets and they came up to stroke my hair, my neck.

 

_So love me like you do, love me like you do_  
  


_Love me like you do, love me like you do_

 

 

“I know it hurts, Eren. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be better. Please trust me. Fuck…I hate causing you pain…” I was holding onto him, my other arm around his back and I hugged him tight.

“You aren’t doing it on purpose. It’s going to feel good, right?”

“Yeah. It is. You’ll feel so good.” More kisses along my jaw line, more distractions from the throbbing down below.

“Then it’s not a problem. Just hold me until it feels better.” I relaxed against him, and somehow some of the pain went away. I looked up at Levi, illuminated in the blue light and noted just how beautiful he really was. He had a thin sheen of sweat on him. Just enough to make him glow, and his eyes were practically shining in the light, rimmed by the stark black. His bangs were framing his face perfectly, and even sticking to it in spots from the heat. I was lucky to call him mine. So fucking lucky.

“You’re beautiful, Levi.” He smiled softly and kissed me, caressing my cheek with his thumb.

“So are you, Eren. Even in the light.” He winked at me and I blushed a deeper red. I was feeling a lot better now actually, most of the pain pushed away. “Better now?”

_Touch me like you do, touch me like you do_

_What are you waiting for?_

 

“Yeah.” My hand tensed against his as he began to move. One slow stroke. It hurt a little, but nothing compared to the first and there was a hint of something there…a longing for something. He pulled back and pushed again and I felt it again, that need, that want. The want to be completely and utterly filled by Levi. That’s what this need was. It was actually feeling good now, and all signs of pain were all but fading away. His thrusts were picking up speed, but he certainly wasn’t going fast. Levi was going slow with me, taking his time. He angled his hips a bit differently and gave a hard thrust-

_Fading in, fading out_  
  


 

“AGHHH-HAHNNNGGG!!!!” My hand squeezed his shoulder and my eyes rolled back. WHAT WAS THAT?! He smirked and thrust hard again. And again. I was coming undone underneath him. Writhing and twisting. Feeling every inch of him. We were together as one, united. Levi was a part of me right now and just the thought thrilled me to no end. A moan ripped through Levi and I mirrored it, arching up against him.

_On the edge of paradise_

 

“Fuck Eren! That’s it!” He pulled my leg up and got closer, so his thrusts went deeper and I just couldn’t control the sounds he was pulling from me. The animalistic growls and moans being ripped from my body. The way he held my leg made me blush, but fuck, he was still holding on to my hand like that, still offering to be my anchoring every step of the way. Levi, my prince.

_Every inch of your skin is a holy grail I've got to find_

 

 

I was practically seeing stars every time he would move, with every thrust. Levi was slamming right into my prostate and I was nearly overwhelmed by the pleasure. Over and over and over. I was gripping and anything and everything. Skin, pillows, sheets. Shoulders, hair, hands. Eyes were connected, then squeezed shut. Levi was slowly driving me mad with each and every thrust. Filling me completely, fuller than I’d ever been.

_Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire_

 

“LEVIIII!!!” He was slamming straight into my sweet spot now, bringing tears to my eyes. I couldn’t stop them as they watered. “I-I UGH! FUCK!! THERE! L-Levi! PLEASE!!! FUCK!!!” I was screaming now, all relevant thoughts cast aside. The only sounds in the room were the soft echo of the music, the squeak of the mattress, bodies sliding against each other, Levi’s moans and my screams bouncing off the walls.

_Yeah, I'll let you set the pace_

 

“E-Eren. FUCK! Y-You’re loud!” I whimpered and buried my face in his neck. Talk about embarrassed. “N-No, fuck. Don’t. Ngnnn-Shit! Don’t stop. It’s fucking hot. Let me hear you!” I peeked up at him and he licked his lips before slamming straight into me, making me cry out. My hand collided with his shoulder and my screams echoed again. I felt a tightness start, a familiar coiling. Fuck. FUCK! I was squirming under Levi, as he kept pumping into me, a look of concentration on his face.

_Cause I'm not thinking straight_

 

 

“G-Getting close.” I muttered it and felt the throbbing in my gut. Wait…WAIT?! Could I even come just like this. “L-evi-wait is…is it possible to-NGNGG!” A particularly hard thrust set me on fire and I felt the coil tighten. I gripped harder onto his shoulder and panted.

_My head spinning around I can't see clear no more_

_What are you waiting for?_

 

“Yeah, but I won’t do that to you.” He reach his hand in between us and pumped me along with his thrusts. Holy shit! I’m gonna lose it right here!

 

_Love me like you do, love me like you do  
_

_Love me like you do, love me like you do_  
  


 

“L-LEEEVI! FUCK!” His thrusts were slamming right where they needed to and his hand on my cock was taking me right to the edge. I was watching him pant and moan above me as he thrust a couple more times, brow furrowed tight in concentration, and that was my undoing. I spasmed as my orgasm slammed into me, crashing into me all at once, making me see stars. I released between us, and I was pushed almost to the point of overstimulation as Levi kept thrusting into me.

_Touch me like you do, touch me like you do  
_

_What are you waiting for?_

 

"FUCK, EREN!!!” He kept slamming into me, thrusting harder with each pump and not long after I came, I felt hot as he cried out and released inside of me, then collapsed on top of me, completely spent. We laid there for a few minutes as our breathing returned to normal and we basked in the afterglow of our releases. He was softly caressing my hair, pressing kisses to my neck. I was teetering on the edge of sleep, Levi’s arms wrapped securely around me when his weight shifted. He tossed the bottle back into the drawer and walked into the bathroom, only to return with a washcloth. My face went red and I shut my legs.

“Babe, let me take care of you.” His hand was rubbing gentle circles on my thigh and I gave in, letting him drop my knees down to the side and clean me up. He wiped the clothed over my stomach as well then he tossed the washcloth in the dirty laundry and after we both took our medication for the night, we snuggled into bed under the covers together.

“Thank you, Levi…”

“You don’t have to thank me.” He kissed my forehead and guided me down to his shoulder. Sleep was quickly tugging me down, pulling at my tired muscles, my worn out body. The dull ache in my hips.

“But I am. Thanks for everything. The perfect birthday. The-“ I yawned and snuggled closer if that was even possible. “And for taking your time with me, For taking care of me. I really love you.” He kissed the top of my head and pulled the blankets closer.

“You’re welcome, Eren. I’m glad I could make it special for you. I hope you had a happy birthday. I love you too.”

“A had…mhmm…very…birthday.” I felt more kisses on my forehead and soft fingers combing through my hair, then that low chuckle I love so very much.

“Sweet dreams, Eren.”


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say how much I LOVE you guys <3 Gaaaaaah <3 Really I do :3
> 
> Also! Have you seen this floating around tumblr?  
> [Levi saving Eren?](http://xxdeja-uchihaxx.tumblr.com/post/113668697720/rivialle-heichou-this-is-happened-before-this)
> 
> Well good news!! I'm using this as a prompt for a side story :3 I promise LCSU will continue to be updated regularly ;) And that one probably won't be posted for a while. Just something for me to work on every now and again. So be expecting in sometime :D
> 
> Enjoy Lovelies!

Eren’s POV

When I woke up, warm arms were wrapped around me, and a familiar scent lingered close. The faint scent of Levi’s cologne from yesterday, along with the smell of something else, something that wasn’t that recognizable drifted around me. What was that? It was sweet almost, but…it made me… want him. Was this Levi’s natural scent? Had we both sweated so much last night that I could finally smell it?

“Hmmm.” He groaned against me and my lips found his neck, swiping my tongue over it.

“Jaeger. The fuck…” I pulled back after placing a kiss there and resting my head against him.

“You smell nice.” I shrugged lightly and wiggled closer, intertwining my legs with his a little more. He opened his eyes and kissed my cheek.

“I smell like sex and sweat. You’re weird.” He gave me a funny look and rested his head against me.

“Is that what sex smells like?” He smiled and ruffled my hair.

“Yeah, if you do it right.” He chuckled lightly and shut his eyes again, breathing softly against my neck. “Which you did. Fuck…” His breathing went heavy against me again and I glanced over at the clock. It was only 8:30, I guess lying in bed for a while wouldn’t hurt us. I carefully reach for the remote on my side of the bed and clicked on the new TV. I pulled up the Crunchyroll app, but I was sure the volume was down so I didn’t wake Levi back up. Hmm….what to watch?

I decided on The Hentai Prince and the Stoney Cat. Levi snuggled closer to me and I adjusted a little bit, pulling him up against my shoulder. My hand went automatically to play in his hair as I watched, without thinking. He hummed softly into my touch and nuzzled against my shoulder as my fingers brushed against his undercut.

 

 

After a few episodes, I tried to adjust again, scooting up a little on the bed, and I was welcomed with an aching throb through my hips. I whimpered and Levi’s eyes shot open.

“Eren? What’s wrong?” I sighed and relaxed back into the mattress with a frown.

“Kinda…sore.” My face went red and I looked away from Levi. Was this going to happen every time? Fuck. He stretched a little and kissed my cheek.

“Sorry babe.” Another kiss, this time to my lips. A few questions were running through my head, and he must have seen my concern. “It will get better over time. Won’t be as bad, I promise. You’ll probably be pretty sore today, where it was your first time…” My stomach sank a little and a little bit of regret flashed through Levi’s eyes. He sighed lightly and wiggled his arms around me into a hug. “I’m sorry…I really am.”

“Don’t worry so much. I’ll be alright. It was worth it.” I hugged him back and kissed his forehead. “I’ll do it again in a heartbeat. I-UGH…I mean…if you want to…again…” Levi chuckled lightly and nuzzled his cheek against mine.

“Maybe later. We’ll see.” I grinned and he glanced up at the TV. “What are you watching?”

“It’s called The Hentai Prince and the Stoney Cat. It’s really good! Watch it with me one day!”

“We’ve still got all of your shit to put up down stairs.”

“And the kotatsu! And the cosplay! THE MANGA AND ANIME!” I tried to get out of bed, but Levi caught me.

“Nope. Not yet. You’re mine.” I huffed and fell back into his arms.

“Leviiiii. The mangaaaa!”

“Can wait.” He chuckled and pulled me against him. I frowned but the frown really didn’t last long as his scent drifted around me again. I snuggled up against his warm body again, groaning as I strained against the sting in my hips. “I don’t think you really want to run anywhere, anyways Eren. Just lay for a while. We can get up later and I’ll make breakfast in a bit, then we can sit down and go through everything. Okay?”

“But Leviiii.” I looked up at him and frowned. “I gotta pee.”

“Brat.”

“Dork.”

“I’m the dork? Since when?”

“You call me brat all the time. You are a bigger otaku than me.”

“As if. You practically refresh the page every hour when there is a rumor of the new Shingeki chapter coming out. Or is that just because you have a crush on the Captain? BRAT?”

“DORK!” Levi grinned at me pressed a kiss to my bare shoulder.

“Let’s just call it a draw? I think we are both nerdy otakus with barely any form of social life. If it weren’t for our friends dragging us out occasionally, I think we would just stay in all the time.”

“I think so too.” I smiled and leaned my head against his. “I’m fine with that though. I enjoy spending time with you. Especially if it involves you and anime.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s all about the anime. You don’t have to lie.” He laughed and rolled out from under me. I heard his feet hit the floor lightly, and he gently pulled me out of bed. “Come on, get up since you’ve got to piss so bad.” I moved toward him and as my feet hit the floor, I found out that not only did my hips hurt more than I originally thought, my back was aching slightly. I whimpered and fell against Levi. He caught me in his arms and walked with me slowly to the bathroom. “Fuck, Eren…” I managed somehow to take a piss and brush my teeth. I stared at myself and Levi in the mirror as I did, Levi’s arm wrapped around my middle. “Hold onto the sink. I’m starting a bath for you.”

“But Levi-“

“No buts.” He started the tap, and the unfamiliar sound of water draining into the tub started. Had I ever taken a bath here? I don’t think I have. We’d always showered and time always seemed short…The shower curtain was pushed back and Levi was leaned over the tub, pouring something under the running water. He stood up, and walked to me pressing a kiss between my shoulder blades. “Give me just a minute. I’ll be right back.” I watched him leave the bathroom and return just a minute later in a pair of boxer briefs. I frowned as I stared at him. “You need to relax a bit. Okay?” I wrapped my arms around him and tucked my head against his neck. I ruined everything. Ruined our morning of cuddling in bed. Ruined our hot shower together that lovers are supposed to take after they have sex, like in the movies. My stomach was churning with guilt.

“Sorry Levi…”

“Don’t fucking apologize. It’s fine. I didn’t get that kind of treatment, so I want to do it for you.” I looked up into his eyes and there was a thread of hurt there. His fingers came up to stroke my cheek. “I want to take care of you babe…” He was frowning now and I couldn’t help but bring our lips together. I wanted to kiss that fucking frown off his face. I never wanted to see him upset again, and it just made my insides bubble with pain. I wanted to ask if there was some other reason, wanted to ask the story behind it, but now wasn’t the time. Now Levi was kissing me gently, swiping his tongue against mine, against my lips, kissing me back sweetly. We pulled apart after our kiss, and he helped me over to the tub. I winced as I sank down into the water and Levi sat on the edge for a minute, making sure I was okay. “You alright?”

“Yeah, feels nice.” He dipped his hand into the water and slicked my hair back out of my face. I smiled up at him and sunk a little lower into the tub.

“Good. Relax for a little while. I’m going to straighten up the bedroom. If you need anything, just call. Okay?” I felt my tired muscles starting to loosen and I nodded. He leaned over and kissed the top of my head before walking out to the bedroom. I could see him moving back and forth from my spot in the tub, and I couldn’t say that the view wasn’t nice. Levi cleaning up the bedroom in just his underwear? I’d take it any day. He carried the forgotten pieces of the cosplay to a box in the bottom of the floor and dropped them in. I watched him carefully as he stripped the bed, pulling off the sheets and adding them to the pile of dirty laundry in the floor. He pulled new sheets out of the closet and tightened each corner, disappearing from view every once in a while. He was then throwing the blanket back on the bed and putting new cases on the pillows. He scooped up all of the dirty laundry and brought it into the hamper before closing the lid and picking it up. I smiled at him and he grinned at me before he carried the hamper downstairs. I shut my eyes for a little while as I listened to him fool around with the washing machine down stairs.

 

 

 

I jerked my eyes open as I felt hands rubbing my scalp and warm water pouring over me.

“It’s okay, just sit back.” Levi was massaging my head, lathering shampoo into my hair. Wait…when had he gotten up here? Had I dozed off? I glanced up at him and he pressed a soft kiss to my wet forehead. He rinsed the suds out and began washing my body, a bit at a time, front, back, all the way down until he reach the overly sore area. “Do you want me to wash there, or you want to do it yourself?” I felt my face flood red and I hid it in my hands. I really did want him to do it, because his hands felt so nice and gentle on me and I was so scared I’d rip myself apart if I even touched myself there, because I was sore. But still… “Sit up a bit.” I leaned forward and I felt Levi’s gentle fingers washing me, making me completely clean. It was still a little sore, but the soak had definitely helped. And his soft touches were barely felt in the first place. “All done.” I stood up and he wrapped me in a towel. My whole body felt better. Sure I didn’t feel like I could run laps around the block or anything, but much better nonetheless.

Levi was smiling now, as he took me into his arms and dried me. He ran the towel through my hair and simply took care of me, running kisses over my skin along with the passes of the towel. We walked together to the bedroom after I was dry, and although my hips still ached a little, the pain had eased to a dull ache. I put on a pair of underwear and Levi turned down the covers for me.

“I’m going to take a quick shower. I’ll be out in just a few minutes. Okay?” I nodded and he leaned over to kiss me. What was that taste? Something…sweet? I snuggled up into the clean sheets and fresh pillows and although they didn’t smell like Levi, they did smell like clean laundry which I also enjoyed. I pressed play on the TV and continued with my show as I heard the shower start. Levi took one of the quickest showers I’d ever seen, but he was drying off with a towel as he walked out into the bedroom, so he must’ve been clean. He slipped on a fresh pair of underwear and flew downstairs. I heard plates clinking and thought against going down. He wouldn’t have turned the covers back for me if he didn’t want me to stay in bed.

“Breakfast for you, Mr. Jaeger.” Levi smirked as he carried a tray to the bed, loaded with juice, French toast with strawberries, and bacon.

“When did you make that?!”

“It’s baked French toast. I threw it in while I was down doing laundry. Here, medicine.” He reach over and we both took our medicine with the juice before he joined me in bed to eat our breakfast. The strawberries were perfectly sweet and they went just right with the French toast.

“It’s really good! Thanks.” I leaned over and kissed him, licking a drop of strawberry syrup off his lip.

“You’re welcome.” I spotted 2 DVD’s stuck down in the side of the tray and I pulled them out.

“Are these the ones from Jean?” Levi chewed his bite of strawberry and nodded before speaking.

“Mhmm. Yeah. I figured we can just have a lazy anime day together.” He shrugged and pointed to the DVD’s “Since we are both off for the weekend. That was nice of Isabel.”

“She probably thought I’d be in a candy coma.”

“You probably would be if I let you down to the box.” Levi winked at me and motioned towards the movies in my hands. “So which one. Angel Beats or Clannad?”

“You pick.”

“No you. Angel Beats has a little more…action. More music. Clannad is more of a love story. More of a feel good story? There’s the second part downstairs also. You have to watch them together.”

“How about Angel Beats then? We can do Clannad another day.”

“Sounds good.” We finished eating and Levi sat the tray aside before putting the DVD in. He hit play and snuggled up next to me. I immediately fell in love with the style of the animation and the artwork.

 

About halfway through we both needed a bathroom break and afterwards we plopped back down into the clean sheets, snuggling back up.

“Hey, Levi…can I ask you a question?” My head was on his chest and he was flipping through his phone, making sure he hadn’t missed any important calls or texts. He set his phone aside and ran his fingers through my hair. My stomach was churning, but I needed to know…

“Sure, what’s up?

“Why…I mean…What did you mean this morning…when you said you hadn’t been taken care of your first time?” Grey eyes stared into mine quietly for a second as he mulled over the question.

“Well…I guess I sort of chose the wrong type of guy. I dated him for a couple of weeks, and he seemed pretty nice. He seemed like he really cared about me, I guess? And I really liked him. I thought that maybe, I could even get over Erwin with him.” Levi reach for my hand and I gladly took it, giving it a squeeze. The thought of anyone even getting near him now made my blood boil. “Well…we always went out later because I had to work at the craft store, so it was always night time. Anyways, he…took me to his house one night after a date.” His other hand was playing with my hair and I was watching closely, his expression changing from word to word. He was frowning deeply now as he went on. “Well, I’ll spare you the details, but I lost my virginity to this guy.” The words made me shiver and Levi leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Sorry, I know hearing about it isn’t easy for you.”

“It’s okay. I’m the one that asked, right?” He shrugged and went on.

“Well, I guess while we were in the afterglow, I let it slip that I loved him…which I don’t think that I really did. I was just trying to fill the void in my life, and he was just there, but anyways he freaked. He told me to grab my shit and leave.” My eyes went wide and I looked up and Levi in horror.

“H-He-“

“Yeah. He crushed me. Right there. I had to deal with the aftermath myself. As well as the hurt of the breakup. It fucking sucked. So-“ He turned towards me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me right up against his chest. “I wanted to do everything for you the right way…well whatever way that is. At least not the asshole way.” I smiled and brought our lips together.

“You’ve been amazing Levi. Seriously.” He smiled softly and brushed my bangs away from my face.

“I’ve tried to do everything I can for you today…and last night of course.” I nodded and tucked my head against his neck.

“You’re always great.” He wrapped me in a hug and kissed my forehead. I pulled my head back to rest it on his chest and breathed out softly, just enjoying the warmth and gentle caresses of his fingers in my hair. I spotted Mom’s picture on the dresser and my heart did a flip. “Hey…Levi…”

“Yeah babe?” His fingers were still in my hair, smoothing, petting, combing.

“How’s the weather going to be tomorrow?” I looked up at him and gave his hand a squeeze. He raised his eyebrow.

“I’m not really sure. Let me look.” He pulled out his phone and brought up the weather. “Cloudy, but mid-upper 60’s. It’s going to be warm tomorrow.” I let out a sigh as the second question burned in my mind. I was terrified to ask it. Terrified that there would be tears after such a happy thing had happened. “Why?”

“C-Can…” My words stilled and I just stopped and pushed my head into his bare chest. I took a few deep breaths, trying to steady myself. “Can…we go visit…M-Mom?” I felt the hurt and the tears welled up, but they didn’t fall. Levi hugged me tight and pulled me closer.

“Absolutely. We can visit Nana too while we are out if that’s okay?”

“Y-Yeah. That’d be great.” I’d wished he had a shirt on that I could grab onto, but all he had on was his underwear, so I just held him closer, burry myself against him deeper.

“It’s okay.” A kiss was planted on the side of my head this time, and Levi was looking into my eyes with a completely understanding smile. “We’ll go tomorrow whenever you are ready.” I nodded and sunk down against his side.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” Levi started up the TV again and I focused my eyes back on the anime.

 

 ** _Yui : Will you marry me?_** __  
  


**_Hinata : I’ll do it, I’ll marry you._** __  
**I’m serious.**  
  


**_Yui : but…_ ** _  
**You dont know the real me…**_

**_Hinata : What ever happens to you in the real world,_** __  
**I’ll marry you.**  
**No matter what kind of sickness you have!**  
  


**_Yui : I can’t walk or even stand…_** __  
  


**_Hinata : I said no matter what kind!_** __  
**Even if you can’t walk or stand, or even if you can’t have kids!**  
**I’ll still marry you!**  
**I’ll always stay by your side.**  
**The Yui I met here isn’t fake. It’s the real Yui.**  
**No matter where or how I meet you, I’ll fall in love with you.**  
**If I can meet you again, against the 6 billion to 1 odds**  
**and even if your body can’t move,**  
**I’LL MARRY YOU.**

 

“LEVIIIIIIIII!!!!!!”

“EREN!!!!!” I threw my arms around his neck and heard the music playing in the background. Tears were welling up in his eyes and they were already leaking down my cheeks.

“Why is this SO FUCKING SAD?!” I was crying against his shoulder and he flipped me around.  


“Look, they met.”  


“FUCK! NOOO!” He hands were wiping at my tears now and I leaned up to wipe at his after the girl disappeared.

“Levi, I didn’t think an anime could make you cry.”

“They fucking fell in love and he helped her fulfil her dream! UGH yeah! That’s j-just” I held him close and we cried together for a while, calming down for the next episode.

 

By the end of the day we were both surrounded by tissues and empty boxes of Japanese candy. I was laying on Levi’s shoulder in a daze from crying and his eyes were red from being rubbed so much.

“Fuck…I don’t know if we can make it through Clannad. It’s supposed to be worse than this.”

“FUUUUCK.” I groaned and stuffed a hello panda into my mouth and drowned my sorrows with some ramune soda.

“I want a drink.” Levi took the melon soda from my hand and took a gulp. “We should probably eat a real meal. We only ever ate breakfast today and candy of course.”

“Don’t wanna move. I’m emotionally drained.” Levi sat up and looked at the mess on the bed.

“Shit. This place is a wreck. I can’t believe 13 episodes did that to us.”

“D-Don’t make me think about it!” I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose. Levi chuckled and pulled me closer. “Fine, what do you suggest for food then? I suppose you want dinner in bed as well?”

“I guess I’ll get up for you.” I smiled and he shook his head.

“It is 9pm, maybe some moving around will do us both some good. Especially after all of the candy.” After rolling out of our messy bed and managing to follow Levi downstairs, Levi began pulling pots and pans out of the cabinet. “Pasta alright with you?”

“Sure.” He pulled out some chicken from the fridge and began cooking it, along with boiling the pasta. I leaned against the counter as I watched him, daring to walk behind him as he flipped the chicken and I wrapped my arms around him from behind. “You still haven’t taught me how to make a grilled cheese yet.” He chuckled and leaned his head back against my shoulder.

“Shush Jaeger. I will eventually. Maybe after school lets out. Don’t complain when I cook for you every day.” I grinned as I looked down at him, carefully seasoning the chicken.

“Fine, fine.” I would be perfectly fine with Levi cooking for me every day for the rest of my life. Waking up to him, just like we had this morning…my heart throbbed and my arms tightened around him. FUCK.

“Eren?” He tried to look over his shoulder at me, but the position we were in stopped him from turning at all. I was almost thankful. I just leaned my head down in between his shoulder blades as he kept turning the chicken and stirring the pasta. “What’s wrong?” I let out a small breath against his back, and let my arms loose a bit. It would sound too clingy if I told him that…not now. Not yet.

“Just thinking about how much I like your cooking…”

“That much? Really? Wow…” He chuckled and wiggled out of my arms to dump the pasta and start the sauce. “Go ahead and set the plates. It’s almost done. Well if you like this, I’ll have to make my Nana’s recipe for you one night. It has wine in the recipe, but it burns off when you cook it, so it shouldn’t hurt us.” I set the plates on the table and Levi was stirring the sauce, mixing cheese into it. My mouth watered as I stared. He put pasta and chicken onto each plate before pouring the sauce over top.

He sat down and poked at his food, while I pretty much dove into my plate.

“MHMMM!!!” He laughed as my fork scraped against the plate, and I pretty much cleared my helping in a matter of minutes without stopping to say a word to him. FUCK it was good. Would it be rude to lick the plate? Probably… Levi was still munching daintily on his own serving and he reach me a bite off of his own fork across the island, which I gladly leaned forward and accepted. “So good! Thanks!” He was smiling happily as we sat there together and he finished off his meal (with him feeding me little bites from his plate in between).

“Glad you liked it.” I cleared off the table and set the dishes and pans in the sink to be washed tomorrow and hugged Levi from behind, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck.

“I loved it! It’s my favorite so far!” He chuckled and stood up, looking down as a perky Kirara rubbed against his leg.

“I guess you are ready for dinner, huh?”

“Meoooow!” He grinned and followed her over to her bowl, and filled it up, stroking her on the head before she began to crunch away on her food.

“Now that the little one is settle, how about we get settled ourselves?” He smiled up at me and my heart soared. He took my hand in his and we walked upstairs, running through out bathroom routine quickly before cleaning off the bed so we could settle into each other’s arms for the night. Levi turned off the TV and the bedside lamp, and I sighed gently against his shoulder.

 

“Goodnight Levi. I really enjoyed today.”

“Night babe. I did too, even if we balled our eyes out to Angel Beats. Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. And you BETTER not tell anyone either. I’ve got tons of stuff to blackmail you with.” I grinned against his shoulder and snuggled closer.

“Like what?!”

“Ugh, I don’t know, like you’ve got a crush on the Captain from Shingeki!”

“He looks just like you!”

“Fuck…that’s true…Let me think of a good one…That you think Grell is oddly attractive! HA!”

“LEVI! YOU WOULDN’T!! YOU PROMISED!”

“Try me!” I laughed against his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his middle.

“Well I’ll just tell them you like cat ears!” He huffed and pulled me closer, bringing the blankets up tight against us.

“AND I’LL TELL THEM YOU LIKE HIGH HEELED BOOTS!”

“SHIT!” We both laughed against each other and after the laugher finally calmed down, and we settled into our final resting place for the night, his chin was resting on top of my head softly, arms wrapped around me protectively.

 

“Levi….”

“Hmm?”

“I love you…”

“I love you too brat.”


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren visit the cemetery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 6:19AM and I've been editing this for...hours. I've lost track of time. T.T Enjoy this INSANELY long chapter. This is why I haven't updated as quickly as usual. It's the equivalent of two chapters. (I've also been on homework OVERLOAD)
> 
> ALSO!! Now is the time to break the news!!! I am leaving for New Orleans for a week on Tuesday! I have been trying to catch up on my chapters so I can at least have a chapter or two throughout the week for you guys, so I'm working on it ^.^
> 
> I'm not sure if I'll be able to write while I'm away, so please excuse any delay in updates if there is one :D I'll be enjoying a mini-vacation and art conference. Woot! 
> 
> The song is Can You Feel My Heart- Bring Me The Horizon 
> 
> Alsoooo I may or may not have dozed off during editing....O.O If you see any mistakes....yeah. :D THANKS. It was a LOOOOOONG chapter to edit. Like 22 pages in word? HA
> 
> Comments <333

The next day I was awoken by Levi kissing me on the cheek as he crawled out of bed. I groaned and tried to pull him back towards me, but he simply pressed another kiss to my lips and pulled the covers back over me, tucking me in snugly. I managed to drift back off somehow….

 

_Trees. Surrounded by trees. Spinning. Spinning. Spinning. Where am I? Why am I alone? Levi was just here. I reach out, but I just. Couldn’t. Reach. Him. I couldn’t touch him. Couldn’t feel him. His warmth was gone. Only darkness remained. Spiraling down. Down. Down. Down. Walking. Walking. Running. I was running now, trying to catch Levi. Trying to find him. Find someone. Anyone. Anyone in this darkness. And then I saw her. Mom. I saw Mom and I reach for her. Reach out for her, only for my arm to be knocked away. My arm hurt. Hurt. Stung. Cracked. That familiar sound of bone breaking. Crunching. Darkness. Him. Dad. Dad was here. I had to stand up to him, but it hurt so bad. I couldn’t do it without Levi here. Levi was my strength. Hell, I didn’t even have my wings of freedom. I couldn’t be strong. Sinking down. Deeper, deeper, deeper. Into the darkness. Cowering beneath him. Falling down into the pitch black. I was screaming. Screaming for Levi. I could hear myself, but he wasn’t there. Still falling. Plummeting. Falling. Falling._

 

Levi’s POV

I woke up, arms still wrapped around Eren. He was sleeping so peacefully, but as soon as my eyes were open I knew I was up for the day. The thoughts started immediately. I couldn’t stop them. Couldn’t shut my fucking brain up. I needed to move around. Needed to clean. Needed to draw. Needed to be productive. I felt my nerves twitching every second I laid still in the bed and I finally decided to get up. Eren tried to pull me back to him, but I just kissed him goodnight and covered him back up. Hopefully he’d fall back asleep okay. I brushed my fingers through his bangs as he sighed against the pillow and drifted off back to sleep. Good, he could get some more rest. It was only 6:30 anyways. I threw on some pants, a long sleeved shirt, and my black bandana and I walked downstairs. The first thing that needed tackled were those dishes for sure. I washed the silverware first, scrubbing the metal until it was shiny. I scrubbed at the tiny water marks on the glasses next, making sure they rinsed clean.

I wonder what the day had in tow for me and Eren? Obviously we were going to visit the cemetery, but… I set the glass down gently, moving on to the next. How would he react? He had never even been to visit his Mother’s grave after the funeral. I hadn’t even been to see Nana in a long while. We’d have to go by a flower shop on the way, that wasn’t even an option… I scrubbed the next glass and rinsed it, setting it aside to dry with the other one. Hopefully I could be strong enough for the both of us today. I would have to be for Eren. He was getting stronger every day, but I just don’t know if he’d be able to handle all of the emotions of seeing his Mother’s grave for the first time. It was a really hard first experience. I picked up a plate and began scrubbing it. I rinsed it once and brought it towards me to scrape at a nearly non-existent spec. That’s when I heard it. A scream from upstairs that made my heart stop and my hands slip. The plate dropped to the floor and all of my thoughts stopped. I threw my gloves in the floor, and ran to him. I heard a thud on my way up the stairs, another scream, and then my arms were around him.

“NO, NO, NO!” He was struggling against me, and my eyes were wide. The fucking fall out of bed hadn’t woken him?!

“EREN! EREN! WAKE UP!!” His face was scrunched in panic, in fear, as he struggled in my arms. He was trying to get loose. “EREN!!” He wouldn’t wake up. I did the only fucking thing my brain could think of. I lean down and pushed my lips as hard as they would go against his, and he immediately went still in my arms, eyes slowly fluttering open. Realization swept over him, and breathless pants turned into pure breathlessness, then gasps. “Eren, calm down. It’s alright.” He was in pure panic mode. He was freaking the fuck out, and to be honest, I would be too if I woke up in the floor. I pulled him right up against my chest and his arms flew around my neck. He cried out and the desperate gulps for air turned more desperate. “Eren?!”

“B-B-Blood.” He squeezed me tighter and sobbed into my shoulder. Blood? What was he talking about? I rubbed his back and leaned back against the side of the bed.

“Are you hurt? Did you hit yourself when you fell? Where?” I kissed the side of his head and he shook it desperately.

“N-No.” He tried to suck in a breath of air, but it just wouldn’t come. He was shaking against me, tremors rocking though his body. “L-Levi. Your f-foot.” Shit. I looked down and sure enough I had sliced a nice gash in the top of my foot.

“I’ll be fine. I’m worried about you. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out.” Not even one breathe would come, and he was terrifying me. “Come on babe. Breathe. You are fucking strong. Breathe for me!” He let out a sob against me and sunk down in my lap. “Please Eren!” He was desperately clawing at his chest, letting out pained gasps. “Fuck.” My hands were in his hair, over his back, trying to comfort him in any way possible. “Show me you fucking deserve those wings Eren. BREATHE.” He choked back a sob and through a strangled cry he sucked in a small breath, followed by another painful sob. “That’s it. Come on. You won’t fall to this! Show me your fucking determination!” Another sharp breath, another sob. “In. Out.” I was rubbing his back frantically, trying to urge the oxygen into his lungs. I was feeling a bit light headed to be honest, but Eren was more important.

“L-Levi…” A strangled sob and his breathing disappeared again.

“Show your fucking Captain that you deserve your wings! Breathe!” He sucked in a breath and cried out, desperately choking on tears as he cried against my shoulder. He took another breath. Then another. He was breathing steadily now, and my heart was finally settling back into my chest. FUCK. “Fuck, brat.” He melted against me as he cried, gentle tears now, and my fingers curled in his hair. “You scared the shit out of me. Sorry I went Shingeki on your ass there, but it was all I could think of…” He shook his head desperately against me and I felt his tears leaking through my shirt. He was pulling back away from me, but I tried to hold him still.

“N-No! N-Need to fix your foot!” His eyes were frantic and desperate, and still leaking tears, but he was pulling out of my arms, yanking me to my feet. HOLY SHIT! There was blood everywhere. My stomach sank as I saw the trail I’d brought up to the bedroom and the puddle I’d left by the bed. Eren frantically pulled me into the bathroom and ripped the first aid kit out of the bathroom. His hands were shaking as he tried to open the kit, and he couldn’t even open the lid. I grabbed a towel from the cabinet and sunk down by the tub, my lightheadedness becoming overwhelming all of a sudden.

“E-Eren. Pressure.” He grabbed the towel and put pressure down on my foot, sobs starting again. “Listen. Stay calm.” My fingers went up to his cheek and I cupped it in my hand. His lip was quivering but he nodded. “I’m calling Erwin. Okay?” He nodded again and let out a whimper. My foot was already bleeding through the towel. “More pressure. Don’t worry about hurting me.” He pushed down hard and I breathed out. I fished my phone out of my pocket and called Erwin on speaker, just in case I lost consciousness. Good thing he had a spare key.

“Hello?”

“Erwin, We need you to come over quick. I’ve fucking cut my foot open. Eren’s putting pressure on it, but the bleeding’s not really letting up…”

“Shit! Be there in-“ I heard him trail off and everything was fading in and out. Erwin’s voice. Eren’s panicked breaths. His sobs. His tears landing against me. On the tile floor.

“L-Levi! P-Please be okay…” His voice brought be back out of my haze and he was desperately applying pressure. I smiled at him and brushed my fingers against his cheek again.

“Fuck…I’ll be fine…babe…” Everything was moving in slow motion. Eren’s face kept fluttering in and out and eventually everything faded to black.

 

Eren’s POV

“Levi? LEVI? LEVI!?!?” I was desperately applying pressure to his foot, but he’d already lost so much blood. Shit. I was worthless. Fucking worthless. I couldn’t even get the damn first aid kit open.

I heard the door downstairs open and loud steps running up to us.

“LEVI!!?!” Erwin ran through the door with another first aid kit in his hand and he kneeled down beside me. “Fuck, he’s out?”

“Y-Yeah.” The bathroom looked like a massacre. I was feeling light headed myself from seeing all the blood, but I knew I had to help. Levi was in trouble. He needed me. Erwin was slinging open his box, which was significantly larger than ours. He was in his uniform, and he must have come straight from work.

“I always keep this kit in my truck. It’s part of the job. We all have to have the training.” I nodded desperately as he ripped open packaging and bandages. “Okay, as soon as I tell you, lift up, I’ll apply gauze, more pressure, and we’ll wrap it and get him to the ER.” I nodded again and Erwin gave the signal, I lifted off the towel, slung it aside, and he packed the wound with multiple layers of gauze. I pushed down on it again and he began wrapping it. Levi’s whole foot was wrapped and taped in a matter of a couple of minutes. “Throw on some clothes. Hurry!” I flew into the bedroom and slung on Levi’s hoodie and some jeans and ran back into the bathroom. Erwin picked up his kit and I gave him a wide eyed look. Surely not. “Carry him. I’ll get the doors.” My stomach sank. FUCK. Fuck fuck fuck. What if- NO. Now wasn’t the time for that shit. I scooped Levi up into my arms and pulled him close to me. He was so light and thankfully he was still warm. I followed Erwin carefully down the stairs and slipped on shoes, and followed him out to his truck. He held Levi as I jumped in, and he set him down on my lap, laying his foot across the seat.

We were at the hospital in a matter of minutes. And the staff had Levi out and in the back in just a few more minutes. I was desperately trying to fill out the form as I sat next to Erwin, with shaky, bloody hands, and I realized I didn’t know a fucking thing about him. I didn’t know his weight, his medical history, his blood type. ANYTHING.

“He had his appendix out when he was a kid.” Erwin pointed to the form and I wrote it down. Erwin also knew his blood type. Erwin also knew that Levi was allergic to a certain kind of anti-biotic. I didn’t know any of those things. I shoved the papers at Erwin and let my face sink down into my hands.

“J-Just do it. You know more…” I felt the clipboard being taken from my hands and I heard a familiar voice call out.

“How’s Levi?!” It was Hanji and she sunk down next to me, putting her arm around me. SHIT. I didn’t need this. I didn’t need his best fucking friends reminding me that I was a damn failure. I wiped at my eyes and threw her arm off, running out of the ER, out into the fresh air. I needed to think. Needed to breathe. UGH. Tears were running again, uncontrollably. I just wanted to be with Levi, but how would they let me when I didn’t even know his fucking blood type? I sunk down against the wall and pulled my knees up against my chest. I heard the door open and heard footsteps approach me, but I just drew my knees in tighter.

“Eren! What’s wrong?!” Hanji sounded frantic, and I just buried my face. I didn’t need a lecture. From her or anyone. I stayed quiet and let my tears leak against the arms of Levi’s hoodie. “Jeez, come on crybaby. Get up.” She yanked me to my feet and pulled me into the waiting room. “NURSE! We’ve got a whiney baby. Can he see his boyfriend?”

“Hanji!” I growled at her and the nurse chuckled.

“What’s the name?

“Levi, he’s the one that almost amputated his foot or so I heard.” I whimpered and the nurse chuckled, buzzing me in.

“Come on sweetie. Oooh. Let’s have you wash your hands first…” After I scrubbed my hands, they took me back to a curtained off area. She pulled back the curtain, and I was hesitant to go in. My hands were shaking and my tears had yet to stop. I was desperate to see Levi, but I was…scared. I was terrified really. “He’s right inside.” I was frozen in place. Why wouldn’t I move?

“Oi. Come on brat!”

“LEVI!” I jumped at his words and turned the corner. He was awake and staring at me. The curtain slung shut behind me, and my arms flew around his neck. “Levi…” His fingers were in my hair, and I was pressing kisses everywhere, shoving my face into his neck. “I’m so sorry Levi, I couldn’t do anything. I just. I’m just worth-“

“STOP. You did just what you needed to. You saved my ass, Eren. If you hadn’t put pressure on it, I probably would have lost a hell of a lot more blood than I did.” I looked over to the bag hanging at his side, and sure enough he was receiving blood. “So don’t say things like that. You did great.” He pressed his lips to mine and I smiled. Levi was okay. He was really okay. “At any rate, I should be out around 2 or so, that’ll give us plenty of time to do what we originally planned, if you are still up for it…” My eyes went wide and his fingers laced with mine.

“Are you sure?!”

“Yeah, I’m feeling fine now. I’ll be perfect after this is finished up.” He motioned towards the blood. “Plus they’ve got me stitched up and ready to go. It’s not that much of a walk. Plus we can have Erwin drop us off.” I gave Levi’s hand a squeeze, and my other arm wrapped around him.

“Okay, if you are still up for it when you are released.” He gave me a small smile and relaxed under my touch.

“Sounds good.” He leaned back against the pillow under his head and I watched over him closely, grabbing a few tissues and wiping away the remaining tears on my cheeks. I sniffled and blew my nose, then leaned back on the side of the bed, securing my hand to his. He just shook his head and shut his eyes.

“I love you, Levi…”

“Love you too, brat. I’m a little tired. Gonna rest for a bit. Okay?” I kissed his hand as I held it in mine and refused to move from his side. I was nearly waiting for the nurse to remove me from his room.

“Okay.” Within a few minutes his chest was rising and falling softly, hand going a bit loose in mine, but I still held it close. Still leaned over his bedside. I felt the lines of my own reality blur and shift, and only when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder did I jerk up.

“Eren.” I looked around frantically, unfamiliar with my surroundings. Levi’s hand was still in mine, but his thumb was running over it, gently urging me awake. It was Hanji’s hand on my shoulder. Erwin was at the foot of the bed, holding Levi’s shoes. Had he gone back and picked them up? Wait…those were…

“Fucking flip flops Erwin?” Levi muttered it and rubbed his hair out of his face.

“It’s what the doctor recommended, Levi. Besides, it’s nice out.” Levi rolled his eyes and set up in bed. The nurse nudged Hanji and Erwin aside to check Levi’s now empty IV.

“Alrighty dear. Time to take it out.” Levi held out his arm and I leaned back a little, giving her plenty of room to work. She took it out and placed a band aid over the hole in his arm. He sighed and started signing the release forms. “Now be careful with getting it wet. I’d almost try to take a bath and hold your foot out of the water rather than taking a shower and standing in the water.” Levi frowned and nodded as he signed the last form.

“Fine. So keep it as dry as possible then?”

“Pretty much. Getting it a little wet won’t hurt, but soaking it is bad.” He nodded and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “And walk easily. Take careful steps to avoid pulling it. No running.”

“Got it. Thanks.” Erwin reach him the flip flops after pulling off the tags. Oh…so they were new after all… Levi slipped them on and stood up, his expression remained unchanging. The nurse reach him one final paper and I stood up with him, walking by his side to the door.

“Feel better!” She waved to us, and as we walked (slowly) so Levi could get used to the new pulling sensation at his foot, I took his hand in mine. Fuck…what a day. I glanced at the clock. It was 1:45, so really it wasn’t that late in the day.

“Stay here, I’ll get the car.” Erwin sounded…blank? Was that even the right word? Upset maybe? He left me, Hanji and Levi waiting by the door as he got the car.

“He switched out the truck for his car an hour or so ago, so we should all fit…I think something is wrong with him though…” I frowned and looked at my feet…maybe I had been an ass to Erwin. It wasn’t his fault he knew more about Levi…He was just trying to help after all.

“He did seem off…Eren? What’s that look about?” I fiddled with the strings on Levi’s hoodie and shook my head.

“Nothing…”

“Liar. Your ears are turning pink.” Levi pinched my ear and I blushed hard. “What did you say to Erwin?” I wanted to sink back into the wall. Just to shrivel up and fade away, but that wasn’t going to happen…

“I…I was upset. I was crying and…and I didn’t know anything.” I looked up at Levi, the desperation filling my heart again. I STILL didn’t know anything about him. Aside from the little bit of info Erwin had told me. Shit! “And…he just knew everything…” Levi raised his eyebrow and I looked away and sighed. “So I just…shoved the papers at him and told him to fill them out and ran off…” Ashamed wasn’t even the word I was looking for. I couldn’t even look Levi in the eyes. I’d been an ass to his best friend who was doing nothing more than trying to help me at the time…

I felt my fingers begin to shake my heart begin to flutter. Surely this was it. Surely I’d fucked up enough now. I’d pissed him off. I’d pissed Erwin off. Erwin was his best friend. His first love. The one that knew everything about Levi… I was done. We were through…

I felt arms wrap around my waist and he pulled me up against his body with a sigh.

“Fuck, Eren…” My eyes were sore from crying earlier, but I felt fresh tears stinging. I was holding them back though. “Calm down. I can practically see the worry seeping out of you right now.” I let out a choked breath against him and relaxed a little. “Erwin will be fine. We just have to explain everything. It was mostly my fault for being Mr. dark and mysterious on you babe.” I rubbed my face against his shoulder. “Anything you want to know, I’ll try my best to be open and answer it, alright?” I nodded against him and he gave me a hug. Erwin pulled up to the sidewalk and we walked to the car.

Levi and I hopped into the back, and Hanji in the front, as usual.

“Are we still going to the shop, Levi?”

“Yes. If you don’t mind.”

“No problem.”

“And…Eren and I would like to say sorry.” He nudged me and I looked at Erwin’s eyes through the rear view mirror.

“S-Sorry, Erwin…I…I was really upset. I just didn’t know anything about Levi. You just knew everything and I…I felt worthless.” I sighed and turned towards Levi.

“I never told him my medical history or anything really. So it was mostly my fault. He was pretty stressed as well to be honest. He had one of the worst panic attacks he’s ever had this morning…” I frowned and scooted closer to Levi, leaning my head against his chest. _Thrum, thrum, thrum._ His fingers found my hair and I sighed as he gently stroked it, curling it around his fingers every so often.

“It’s fine. I understand. Apology accepted Eren.” I sighed in relief and smiled up at him. “But my question is, how in the hell did you cut your foot open in the first place?” Yeah…that WAS a good question. My eyes went wide and I lifted my head up to look at Levi. I was extremely interested in his answer.

“Hmm…well…I was washing dishes. It was a plate actually, and I just…well…” He gave me a sad look and stroked the underside of my chin lovingly. “Eren screamed upstairs. Scared the shit out of me. I guess my hand slipped. I knew I dropped the plate, but I had no idea I cut my foot open.” My stomach sank and I whimpered, grabbing a hold of his hand.

  
“L-Levi…God, I’m so sor-“

“Eren, believe me. It’s alright. You were having a nightmare. It was one you couldn’t even wake up from.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and I swallowed hard, heart beating hard in my chest. “You fell off the fucking bed and didn’t even wake up.” I shut my eyes and pressed my head right back against his chest, heart pounding now. Everything was spiraling out of control. I was remembering everything. _Surrounded by trees. Spinning._ And it was just adding to the pain. _The total utter feeling of being alone._ Levi was hurt because of me. _Only the darkness remaining. Spiraling down. Down. Pulling me under._ Because he was worried about me. _Reaching for Mom. Reaching for Levi. Reaching for ANYONE. Just not. Wanting. To. Be. Alone._ Levi bled out because of me. _Cowering beneath Dad, not being able to fight back without my strength. Without Levi. Fuck._ Levi fucking passed out because of me. _Screaming. Gasping. Clawing._

“EREN!” _Thrum Thrum Thrum._ The steady beats of his heart and his voice snapped me out of sinking down into my wave of panic and he held me close, stroking my hair, and pressing kisses all over my face, my head. My breaths hadn’t been taken completely this time thankfully, and I was still clinging to the last bit of oxygen in my lungs. Fuck. I was clinging to Levi also. To his shirt, to his hand, to his body, to his heartbeat. The steady _thrum thrum thrum_ was enough to lull me back into coherent thoughts. Enough to keep me thinking at a steady pace. I had to stay strong. I had to show him I deserved my wings. “You alright?” I took a shaky breath and nodded, the memories of my nightmare flashing through me like it had just happened.

“I’m okay…” When had the car come to a stop? We were parked? I looked up at Levi and he had this look on his face…this look of concern. Of…I wasn’t even sure anymore. I just let him lead me out of the car and he shut the door behind me. We walked slowly, and Hanji and Erwin stayed in the car. We were going down an alley, and Levi leaned back against the wall, pulling my head down against his chest again.

“Listen to that. Listen!” I stopped and heard the same _thrum thrum thrum_ that had calmed me in the car, although it was beating fast now, erratic and pulsing hard. “It fucking beats for _YOU_ , Eren. You! No one else!” I stilled against him and I trembled against his chest as his arms wrapped tight around me. “I love you! I worry about you!” I tore myself away from his chest and his eyes were filling with tears from frustration. “So…please…just…” I crashed against him and pressed him harder against the wall.

“I feel guilty! Fucking guilty! I’m sorry! So fucking sorry! I remembered my dream, and I remembered the blood, and I’m so sorry you were hurt because of me. So sorry…” I trailed off and pressed a kiss to his neck. My hand was resting against his heart and mine was beating frantically in my own chest. “I’m such a fuck up Levi. I can’t even go an hour without having a nightmare without you there…” Slender fingers twisted in my hair and soft lips found my cheek, my ear.

“Eren. I already told you I’d take you completely as you were. And you’d take me completely as I am, right? No regrets?” I nodded desperately against him and breathed harshly, trying to hold in my tears. “Then stop apologizing. It’s nothing you can help. I’m here for you, just talk to me. That’s all I want.” I sunk against him a little more and he pulled me closer.

“I’m so afraid t-that…that it’ll be too much for you. That you’ll leave me…” I felt a hand slide up underneath the fabric of the Trost hoodie to rub over the bare skin of my back.

“We both know that’s fucking nonsense. Now calm down. Kiss me, Jaeger.” My eyes connected with Levi’s for a split second, before our lips touched, sending jolts through us. We kissed and touched, and his hand on my back just felt so right. So calming. His shaky breaths were calming down as we kissed, soothing me, and turning into breathless pants. I was careful to watch his foot, and as we pulled apart, I was actually smiling. “There, that’s better. Now let’s go get some flowers for Nana and your Mom, okay?” A pang of hurt struck deep in my heart as Levi took my hand and led me the rest of the way down the alley. We turned the corner and right there in front of us, was a flower shop. He led me through the door and the bell rang. A sweet old lady greeted us, and waved at Levi.

“Hello sweetie. Nice to see you again! OH! Is this the sweetheart you are always buying flowers for?” Levi’s cheeks flushed pink and he pulled me towards the lady.

“Yeah. This is Eren.”

“Well hello. It’s nice to meet you! Levi here sure has went through a lot of trouble picking out the most perfect roses for you. He sits for hours making sure the petals are just right on each one-“

“UGH- Do you have anything in mind Eren?!” Levi’s face was red now as he yanked me in the direction of a wall of flowers. Levi hand picks my roses? Wow… And he sure was cute with those pink cheeks of his… I looked at the different flowers and I thought of my mom. I was trying to remember what she liked, but nothing came to mind. I always made her gifts for mother’s day, because I never had the luxury of buying her flowers. If she got flowers they were hand picked out of the field when I was little…

I stopped in front of the roses. Levi had his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. No, roses were for lovers in my mind. Not for mothers. Bright pink caught my eye and I stepped a little closer to the flower that was in front of Levi.

“How about this one?” I ran my fingers delicately underneath the petal and looked at the bright colors. It looked almost like it’d been painted. The stunning pinks, whites, maroons and oranges overflowed from the petals.

“Oh, the Stargazer Lily?” The lady said with a smile. “It’s a beautiful flower.”

“It is beautiful Eren.” I looked at the white lilies next to it and decided.

“A few of each maybe? If…If that’s okay? Will that look alright?” Levi straightened out my hood without thinking and nodded at my choice.

“I think it’s perfect. Will you wrap those up for him? I’ll take mine with Irises and peach roses.”

“Sure thing. Give me just a few minutes.” I relaxed and Levi squeezed my hand. She collected our flowers and went to the back to make our arrangements.

“I’m just going to have Erwin drop us off. It’s a beautiful day out, so I think a walk home will be fine. It’s not that far from the house. Twelve minutes maybe?” He let go of my hand and decided instead on holding me around my waist.

“Will you be okay with walking? How’s your foot?” I looked down at his foot, the gauze bandage still held firmly in to place. He did look odd in flip flops and he was somewhat shorter than usual without his boots with heels on.

“I’ll be fine. My foot is fine. A little sore, but okay. I can sit down if it starts to hurt.” I nodded and he pulled me a little closer.

“Just tell me if it does…okay?”

“I will brat.” His fingers brushed my bangs out my face and I smiled. “You’re due for another haircut in a couple of weeks, unless you are going to grow it.” He looked up at me lovingly and I just shrugged.

“Graduation is in a few weeks, I’ll decide by then…” Just the thought made my stomach churn. I DIDN’T want to think about that. I hadn’t even really been on the ball about applying to colleges. Sure I had applied to a few, but I hadn’t taken my ACT or SAT yet. Or even graduated for that matter. I had went ahead and filled out my financial aid forms as well, with Levi’s help one day. Just maybe with a high enough score, I would get in.

“I’m proud of you, you know. You’ve made it so far. You’ve brought your math grade up. You made an 86 on your last test, right?” I blinked a couple of times and stared right into those perfect grey eyes. The eyes that were all mine.

“H-How’d you remember…?”

“Because you told me. And Because I’m fucking PROUD, that’s why. You’ve worked your ass off to get that grade, Eren. And you’ve worked your ass off to get that art award as well…” I blushed and he drew closer to me. “When is the award’s ceremony again?”

“Friday. The night before…” I froze as I thought about it. I looked at the floor and smiled, swallowing hard. Not like I was going. It was stupid anyways.

“The night before what?” Shit…

“Ugh work.”

“He was going to say prom.” I turned around and the lady who owned the shop was standing behind me with our flowers. My cheeks went red and I dropped my head low.

“But I’m not going, so…”

“What do you mean you aren’t going?” Levi was looking at me seriously and my heart was pounding. Like hell I was going to cram myself into some tacky suit just to spend the night in some crowded room away from him the whole night. Like they would even let him in to the prom anyways. Fuck.

“I don’t want to go…just drop it.” I pulled away from him and grabbed my flowers, thanking the lady and walking outside to grab a breath of fresh air. Levi followed me out and we walked in silence. “I…I just don’t want to go without you…okay.”

“Eren, it’s your fucking senior prom. There are some things you just don’t want to pass up, and that’s one of them. Your friends will be there. Jean, Mikasa, Armin. You’ll have a good time. I frowned and he took my hand in his.

“I’ll think about it…”

“That’s all I’m asking babe.” We hopped into Erwin’s car and rode to the last place I really wanted to go. That stabbing, twisting pain in my stomach didn’t ease, even though I wanted it to. He dropped us off at the gate, and we hopped out, flowers in tow. I held my flowers to my chest and Levi’s hand securely in my other hand as we walked.

“So, let’s go visit Nana first. She’s over this way.” Levi tugged me to the side and I just let him pull me along. We walked silently for a minute or so, actually being welcomed by the birds chirping around us. The sun was shining around us, warming us in the dreary place. As much as I needed Levi to be strong for me right now, I also needed to be strong for him. We came to a stop under an old tree by the fence and I held onto Levi’s hand tight, trying to give him all the support he needed. He kneeled down in front of a grave marker that read:

**_Clarisse Ackerman_ **

I set my own flowers aside on a bench and knelt down beside him, wrapping my arms around him. The tears were welling up, and I could tell he was getting ready to burst, but he was holding it back. Why? Why was he holding it back?!

“Nana…I brought you flowers…” He put the flowers in the holder in front of her stone and wiped at the tears threatening his eyes. “I…I ugh…I brought Irises like you liked…cause they were your favorite…fuck.” He was desperately wiping the tears away and I tried to pull him against me but he protested, like he wanted to finish talking first. “A-and there’s r-roses, because I…I found someone.” His voice cracked and he buried his face in his hands for a moment. He wasn’t trying to hold back any longer. “He’s here. This is Eren, and I really love h-him. I t-think you’d like him Nana…” He was sobbing now, trying to muffle the sounds against his sleeve. “A-And Eren loves me! He really really loves me!” He smacked the ground and pulled at the early spring grass. “W-Wish you could have met him. Mom and D-Dad hate his guts.” He let out a strangled cry and I sat down instead of kneeling, and pulled him onto my lap.

“Levi, I love you so much!” He melted against me and just broke down into heavy sobs.

“W-Why won’t they accept you, like she would have?!” He was crying against my neck, and I had my arms wrapped so tight around him, that at least hopefully he felt protected.

“Not everyone can believe in true love.” I pressed a kiss into his hair and he shuttered.

“Fuck, Eren. I miss her so bad.” I knew the feeling. I knew that yearning. That feeling of wanting to rip your fucking heart out and stomp on it. “She was the only person in my family that accepted me for who I was. It’s not fucking fair.” He cried out again and it broke my heart. I rocked him gently against me, trying to soothe him in some way.

“I know. But at least you have the memories you made together, and the strength she gave you, Levi. Without it, you wouldn’t be the same person. We wouldn’t have found each other, right?” He nodded and leaned his red face up to look at me. I wiped under each of his eyes, wiping away his tears. “We met because SHE gave you the strength to go out into the world and be yourself. I fell in love with the Levi that you are, not some fake Levi that the world or your parents wanted you to be.” He nodded again and his breathing began to steady.

“Y-Yeah…you are right.” We sat there for a few minutes as he regained his breath and collected his thoughts and eventually, I pulled him to his feet and we went on the search for my Mom’s headstone. I vaguely remembered the area, but that day was such a traumatic experience that most of it had been just a blur in my brain. Eventually we found my family’s section of the cemetery, and there on the end, over in an area by herself, was my Mom’s grave and headstone. I nearly dropped the flowers and I froze in place, only to be pulled a little closer by Levi.

**_Carla Jaeger_ **

The flowers dropped and I fell to my hands and knees in front of her stone. It was so real. So fucking real. The sickness. The death. The funeral. The abuse. The pain. All of it. My whole life. My whole world. My Mom was gone. I’d never see her or hear her voice again. Never see her smile again. She’s never hug me again, never tell me that she loved me again. She’d never get to see any of my accomplishments, never get to see my family, never get to meet Levi…

“Fuck, Eren!” Levi pulled me up off the ground and against him into something similar to the way we were sitting in front of his Nana’s grave. My eyes were hurting from crying so much today. Fuck. Levi’s foot.

“N-No. Get up. Sorry. Please.” I pulled him up and nearly stumbled backwards, vision being blinded by my pouring tears. “B-Bench.”

“Come on. Easy Eren…” He guided me over to the nearest one, only a few feet away from her and then I fucking cried. Levi sat on the end of the bench and eased my head down into his lap. “Take as long as you need babe. No rush.” Soft fingers were in my hair and the real tears started as soon as I buried my face in the safe confines of his lap. No one could see my face, see my hurt. Levi would protect me while I was weak, hell he’d even protect me while I was strong. “Cry, just fucking cry. No panic, no fear. Just grieve, because I know you didn’t get to the first time. I know how bad it hurts.” I sobbed into his lap as he stroked my hair and I just went numb to the world around us. All there was in that moment was me and Levi. Fucking broken falling apart me and poor hurt Levi. All we wanted in our lives was love. Love and affection. From our families, our friends, our communities, each other. But life could NEVER be that simple. Life just HAD to fuck us both over. But at least we were blessed with each other. I reach out and gripped his hand tight, squeezing it so hard, I was afraid it might break, but it didn’t. Levi was insanely strong, and his light and gentle strokes and touches just never made sense to me. How a man like that, with the power to destroy me completely with a single blow, could be so gentle, would forever amaze me. Levi would never lay an abusive finger on me.

“L-Leviiii.” I rubbed my face against his thigh, trying to dry it a little on the fabric of his pants.

“I know babe.”

“I miss her. I fucking miss her. It was SO hard. I watched her fucking DIE. I watched her slip away, Levi…” He was pulling me up now, placing me on his lap. Strong arms wrapped around me in an almost crushing hug. I didn’t want to be let loose though. I wanted to be close to Levi. Needed to be close. He was my everything. My only hope in this world. My only fucking light in the dark. Right then and there I realized…I was BREATHING. My eyes went wide and I took a deep breath. Sure they were a little shaky, but with Levi’s coaching, I’d managed to avoid it so far. I’d made it through the hardest part. “I wanted her to meet you too…” He brushed my hair away from my face and pressed a kiss to my lips.

“I may never get to meet her Eren, but I get to see every day what a fantastic job she did of raising her son. You are outstanding and passionate. You have so much drive to accomplish things, and you WILL accomplish whatever your dreams are. Believe me. Your mom will be proud of whatever you choose to do. She’s proud of you now.” A few stray tears ran down my face and my arms locked around his neck.

“L-Levi…” He could see that they were slowing and he smiled and wiped them away.

“There, see? Look how strong you are.” I leaned against him for a while longer, listening to that heartbeat that always worked wonders to soothe me. We were both filthy and disgusting and I just wanted nothing more than to go home and shower with Levi. To wash this fucking day away. I brought my nails up to my eyes and my breath caught in my throat as I saw the dried blood under them still. I know I was still covered in it still. No doubt Levi was too. We were both covered in dirt and grass from moving around on the ground with each other, comforting each other. I tried to pick at my nails nervously, tried to scrape some of his blood away from them but it just didn’t work. I was exhausted, and I could see the same look in Levi’s eyes. I just wanted to curl up with him and drift off. Just hold him and be held. Be clean. Be happy. Not this. Not here. Not miserable. Not disgusting. Not having my heart ripped out of my chest. Not hanging of by a single thread called Levi.

“Eren…” He said it so soft, and he brushed my cheek as he did, drawing my eyes up to his. Teal to grey, strong to stumbling. I blinked a few times and he smiled gently. “Eren.” He repeated it again. Firmly this time and I nodded. I knew what he meant and I swallowed hard. “I think you should go ahead and give your Mother what you brought for her, and we should go ahead and head home. We have both had a hard day.” A few tears ran down my cheeks and he tenderly wiped them away. Softly. His thumbs brushed so soft against my skin that I barely felt it. I wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to leave Mom. Just like the day she passed away. I didn’t want to leave her.

“F-Few more minutes? Please Levi…” More tears starting again. I felt like a jerk for leaving. For never visiting sooner in the first place. For never having the strength. But now I had the strength. I had Levi. He was helping me be strong. He was the mortar holding my shaky brick wall together.

“Of course.” A kiss to my forehead. A gentle brush of my hair. The wind blew through the silent cemetery and I was really surprised that no one else was visiting on this beautiful day. I stood up on shaky legs and along with Levi, made my way over, picking up my flowers as I did so.

“L-Levi…should I…should I talk…to her?” I knelt down at her stone and he knelt behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, leaning his chin on my shoulder from behind. I could feel his chest against my shoulder and I welcomed every breath he took against me. Every motion.

“Do what you are comfortable with. If you want to talk to her, talk.”

“C-Can she even hear me?!” I reach my hand out and brushed against her grave marker, the cold stone making me draw my hand away.

“I think Nana can, I talk to her when I’m here, babe. I nodded and placed the flowers in the container to the side of Mom’s headstone.

“I ugh…Hi Mom…” Tears were already running, but it almost felt like I’d already exhausted my supply of tears for the day, hell for the week almost. I sniffled and pulled at a few blades of grass around the edge of the stone. “I ugh…don’t know what to say…” Levi hugged me tighter and pressed a kiss against my neck. “I…this is Levi…oh right…I’m gay…I never got the chance to tell you that…” I choked a bit and rubbed at my tired eyes. Fuck they hurt so bad. “I-I hope you are okay with that…I feel like you would have been…Damn it, I miss you Mom…” I fresh sob ripped through me and I fell back against my rock. Against Levi behind me. “L-Levi is…He’s…Levi…”

I took a steady breath, then another. I wouldn’t let a panic attack take me now. No way. Not after I’d made it this far. “Levi’s taking really good care of me. He’s my b-boyfriend. I’m in love with him. S-So incredibly in love, and it almost hurt h-how much I love him.” He stayed silent behind me, just continuing on with his comforting touches and kisses. “And I know he loves me back. He really does. H-He…He…I…I had to move out of the house…and in with him…it wasn’t really my choice but it was the b-best one.” Levi was completely wrapped around me, holding me with every muscle almost. “D-Dad…Dad…just didn’t turn out to be the person I thought he was…he…he hurt me Mom…he hit me…he….” My breaths were getting labored now, but I took a few deep ones to get it back under control. “But…I’m with Levi now…and…and Levi…” I let out a sigh as relief almost washed over me. Almost a peaceful feeling. “Levi doesn’t hurt m-me. Levi will never hurt me. So…So we are going to go home now…I love you Mom…”

I felt Levi lift me to my feet, not saying a word, and I kept silent myself. Had Levi fallen into a low? Had I fallen into a low myself? It sure felt like it… He looped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him as we walked in silence towards the front gate. We were both completely exhausted. Both emotionally drained. I looked to Levi as we walked and he looked to me, eyes still warm, but incredibly tired. Just done for the day, but it was early still. Too early to call it a night? The sun was setting over the horizon already and as we walked, almost at a snail’s pace, I just longed to be home in bed with him. I didn’t want to eat, I didn’t want to watch TV. I just wanted to be close. To have contact with him, to feel that connection with the one I loved.

We were cast in oranges, pinks, and reds as we walked, and had we not been through a day from hell we may have even taken a picture together. Did I even have my phone? No. Levi had his. That’s good at least… His breathing was heavy and he tried to pull me even closer, resting his head on my shoulder as we walked in a comfortable silence. I was completely okay with it, because my words were failing me anyway. My emotions had drained me, and we had pretty much said everything to each other that needed said throughout the day. Everything else was silently understood by simple gestures. By just BEING THERE. I knew Levi loved me. I knew he was my constant support. I didn’t need him jabbering that he loved me every two seconds reminding me. He was going through something similar and I had to keep reminding myself that everyone dealt with it differently. One thing was certain between us though, we both wanted to be closer. We both kept closing the distance between each other as we walked closer and closer to the apartment.

We finally arrived at the door and Levi turned the key in the lock silently. We opened it and we kicked off our shoes and immediately went upstairs to the bathroom. I just wanted to be clean, and I could tell Levi did too. HOLY SHIT. I whimpered as my eyes trailed across the floor and I nearly threw up. There was blood, EVERYWHERE. And wrappers. And boxes. Levi sighed and tugged at his hair.

“FUCK!” He stomped his foot and looked up at me.

“S-Sorry I-I-“ My heart was thumping. How could I forget?! I was more worried about Levi when we left though, I hadn’t even thrown on a shirt… Both of his hand pressed to the side of my face and he pulled me down for a kiss, gentle and tender. He let go of my face and brought my fingers up to his eyes, frowning at the dried blood under my nails. He carefully led me over to the cabinet and pulled out the nail brush and handed it to me.

“Shower. Now. I’ll clean this up.”

“But Levi!”

“Now. Clean yourself up. Relax a little. Please.” Another kiss. Another sweep of my bangs. I frowned but nodded and began shrugging off my dirty clothes. Levi started the shower for me and sat a bottle of peroxide on the edge of the tub. “It should scrub out with soap, but if it doesn’t, try that.” I nodded and slipped off my pants and hoodie, revealing blood streaked legs and arms. His eyes went wide and I whimpered as Levi took my hand. “Come on brat. Get in.” For a split second I felt my chest compress, but Levi was practically dragging me over to the shower. He helped me up inside, and he just halfway undressed. He flung his own shirt across the bathroom and started scrubbing at the dried blood with his bare hands. It rehydrated, turned pink and ran down the drain. Turning my skin back to it’s regular shade again. He was washing me frantically, washing his blood away. His hands were on my thighs, and running across my stomach, and I just wanted him in here with me, washing me. Not standing outside of the shower. I frowned and attempted to half-heartedly tug at his shoulder. Attempted to tug him in with me…

“Fuck Eren…I need to…” He turned around and looked at the massacre for a second, at the fucking mess of a bathroom. The blood stains the streaked tile. The wrappers Erwin had thrown everywhere. Then he looked back to my eyes, pleading with him. Fuck…maybe I shouldn’t be a baby about it. The stains would probably set in if he didn’t clean them now. “I-I need to…fuck…I need to be there for you…” I heard the rest of his clothes drop and he hopped up into the shower with me, immediately shoving his foot up on the corner of the tub. I got closer to him, because his balance and movement was limited now, thanks to his foot, and he began rubbing my arms underneath the water, washing me clean. I shuddered as the water turned pink again and I leaned my head against his shoulder.

“S-Sorry I kept you from cleaning…”

“Fuck cleaning…You are more important.” I squeezed his shoulder and took a sharp breath. Close. So close to Levi. “Let’s get you clean.” He grabbed the shampoo behind him and started lathering up my hair, pressing it deep into my roots. A quick rinse had soap running down the drain, and had him reaching for the bath pouf as I held him stable. He poured body wash on it and began to scrub at my skin, scrubbing all hints of blood away. A few stray tears leaked out of my eyes as I watched him scrub, and I clung to him. My thoughts were taking me to a place that I just didn’t want to be, and I cried out against Levi’s neck. I was feeling worthless, feeling useless. Just feeling like I wanted to fade away….

“L-Levi!!!” I cried out as he scrubbed and he immediately stopped and let it fall to the floor of the shower, hands coming up the embrace me.

“Eren?!”

“L-Levi…I…I feel so…I…” I let my face sink down against his chest and I just cried. Today was fucking awful. It made me realize how much I had lost over the last year. How shitty my life had truly been to me. The only thing I had truly been blessed with was Levi. The only reason I was hanging on. The only light in this shitty world. “You are the only thing that matters to me right now… If I didn’t have you Levi…I…I…God….” My chest was heaving against him and I just felt so desperately low. So desperate to cling to him, to get closer. All fears of losing Levi were gone. He’d already been through hell and back with me, and he hasn’t left yet, so hopefully he was truly in it for the long run.

“Shhhh, Eren. Don’t talk like that babe. We’ve got each other. I love you so fucking much. Please promise me. Fuck, Eren…” I sobbed against him and he yanked me closer. I nodded and Levi pressed his own face against my neck. “D-Don’t fucking give up on me…”

“I-I won’t Levi. I just…God it just hurts so much…” We sunk down to the floor of the shower together and he stuck his foot up on the edge again, shielding it from the water.

“I know babe. I know it’s hard.” He pulled back and I could see the tears running down his face again. “But just know that it’d absolutely devastate me to lose you… And that may seem like a selfish reason, but…God I couldn’t live without you Eren! So….So please…Fucking promise me!” He yanked my head down to his chest and a cry ripped through him. I desperately nodded against him as my tears ran down against his chest. As the shower washed everything away.

“I promise! Fuck…I’m so sorry…You make me feel better Levi…Just being here like this. Just holding me.”

“Then I’ll hold you all night if I need to. And all fucking day tomorrow. As long as it takes, babe.” He pressed a kiss to my head and I nodded. Levi was my prince in more ways than one. I knew he was feeling low himself, but he was trying to desperately climb to the surface to pull me up. To keep me from drowning.

With a shaky hand, I grabbed the soap and began washing Levi under me. I just wanted to get out and lay in bed. Today had already cascaded WAY beyond the parameters of fucked up and I was too exhausted to comprehend anything. I scrubbed everything I could reach and I lifted myself to scrub lower, practically hovering over him on all fours. “J-Just want to g-get out. Okay?” He nodded and we carefully stood up. I finished washing him, and he took each of my hands in his, scrubbing each of my nails with precision until they were perfectly clean. We rinsed and I shut the water off. After drying off, we carefully maneuvered across the trashed bathroom and bloodstained bedroom to the bed, where we fell together. Levi turned the TV on to his playlist, and pulled me into his arms. Pressing kisses to my face.

_Can you hear the silence?_

 

My lips met his desperately and I just needed him. Needed to be kissed. Needed to be comforted. Needed to be close.

“Fuck, I love you Levi. So much. I really do. I’m sorry I made you worry.” He shook his head and ran his fingers through my wet hair.

“We all have times where we sink low, babe. We’re human. We just have to have someone to lean on and help us along. We’re just lucky that we have each other.” I nodded frantically and leaned up to capture his lips again. His tongue was warm against mine, gentle movements gone. His movements were passionate now, desperation taking over. I could feel his heart pounding against me and it was just fueling me.

 

_Can you see the dark?_

 

His skin was hot against mine, completely bare and dry now. Heating up as I moved against him. Why was I feeling like this?! I was sinking down against him. Falling right in between his legs, his arms wrapping around me.

“Eren…”

“Levi…Mhmmm.” My lips moved to his neck and cheeks were turning pink. Fuck. I couldn’t take it when they did that. He flipped us over, and before I knew it, he was on top of me, pressing me down into the mattress. Closer. Closer. PLEASE. He pressed his body right on top of mine, just like I wanted and I let out a content sigh.

“Closer?” I had said it out loud? Oops…

“Y-Yeah…Just want to be closer…Feel safe. Happy.”

 

_Can you fix the broken?_

 

“Mhmm.” His lips were on my neck again and arms were tucking around me, legs even, as close as they would go. I was heating up, feeling blood rushing through my cheeks, rushing to…other areas. Levi must have felt it too. He ran his hand down my chest, brushing over my nipple, down my stomach. He tickled at my hips for a minute before his hand wrapped around my cock, giving it a squeeze as he did. I whimpered and pulled his lips down to mine.

“LEVI!” His eyes went wide as he heard the desperation in my voice. I just wanted him. Needed his touch. “P-Please. J-Just…” He pulled back for a minute and cocked his eyebrow. His smell was drifting around me, skin warm, hair wild and wet, sticking to his face. FUCK.

 

_Can you feel, can you feel my heart?_

 

“W-What do you want me to do, Eren?” He gave my cock another squeeze and I jerked against him, but that wasn’t what I wanted.

“C-Closer. Want you closer!” He leaned over me a bit further and kissed me again, giving me a few more strokes. I had to calm down. Had to get my desperate thoughts together. We pulled apart, chests heaving and I looked up at him and bucked up in his hand. “P-Please, Levi…will you…ugh…can we…have sex?” My face was blood red. Is that even the right way to ask?! UGH?! I yanked him down and buried my face in his neck. “SORRY! I don’t know how to ask and…” Fingers brushed through my hair and lips were on my neck, gently pushing me back against the pillows. He chuckled low and deep, giving one last lick to my neck before pulling away to dig through the drawer.

 

_Can you help the hopeless?_

 

“Just ask however feels natural babe…” He threw a bottle on the bed and pressed a kiss to my neck. “I’m partial to “Please fuck me, but however…” I whimpered and my cock twitched. Could I even manage to SAY those words to Levi right off? While were in the middle of things sure…but asking him to… He popped the bottle open, and slicked his fingers up, before hovering over me again.

“You’re blushing, Eren.” I’m sure my face my blood red. Especially after he’d said that! Levi was running a slick finger between my legs, teasing me, rubbing in circles. I breathed out as he slipped a finger inside and I arched up against him. I half expected the burn, but the pressure I yearned for was almost immediate.

_Well, I'm begging on my knees_

 

“L-Levi…” I looked up at him as I wiggled underneath. His cheeks were a rosy red as well and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he began moving his finger in and out. “Y-You are blushing too.” He hooked his finger and brushed my sweet bundle of nerves. I cried out and twisted my fingers in his hair. “LEVI!” He did it once more before pulling his fingers out, only to push two inside, starting to fill me up. “Hnnnn!” I let go of his neck and fell down against the pillows. He was leaned over me, and I looked over that perfectly sculpted body, glowing sexily in the amber light. This was nerve wracking, being completely exposed. We hadn’t stopped to turn out the lights like usual, and my heart was pounding. Levi could see every flaw. Every blemish. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath before I moved slightly. It wasn’t fair for me to get all of the attention. I reach down with a shaky hand, and took a hold of Levi. FUCK. He was achingly hard. A moaned escaped his lips as I closed my hand around his cock and gave him a few strokes.

 

_Can you save my bastard soul?_

 

“F-FUCK! Eren. H-Holy SHIT!” He was looking at me in shock as he started moving his fingers in and out, making me quiver around the bigger intrusion.

“L-Levi!” I pulled him down and he fell to his side, rocking against my hand on him and pushing his fingers in and out of me at such an achingly slow pace. He was taking his time again. Making sure I was prepared. Making sure I wouldn’t hurt. I loved him for that. Cherished him. Levi, my protector. My hand tightened around him and he struck that sweet spot deep within me, and I jerked up. “Fuck!” I was desperate now! I. Just. Wanted. Levi! “P-Please, Levi! J-Just fuck me! Please…” I was writhing as his fingers moved within me and he pulled them out and I heard the bottle again.

_I'm sorry brother  
So sorry lover_

 

“N-Not gonna happen babe. I’m not hurting you.” More fingers poked at me and slid inside, past the tight ring of muscle and I arched up against his hand.

“L-LEVIII! HHNNNG!! OH!” His eyes were studying me closely for signs of pain, but this time, there was only desperation. Only need. Only want. Only love. I needed Levi in every sense of the definition. Needed him close to me. I wanted him to just move his fingers so he could get on to the good part. To fuck me into the mattress like he had a few nights ago. Make my worries disappear. I whined as he finally did moved the three fingers. Twisting, hooking, scissoring. “Leeee.” I was bucking up against his hand and squeezing hard around his cock. Just. Fucking. Yearning. For. Him. “Fuck! PLEASE!” The fingers were yanked out and the bottle popped open.

_Forgive me father  
I love you mother_

 

“Fuck, can’t hold back babe. Gotta….mhmmm.” I felt him pressing against me and a pained expression washed over him. “SHIT.” He rolled off of me and to the side.

“Levi?!”

“Damn stitches…” My eyes were wide as I looked at his foot. “They were pulling really bad like that…we’ll have to try something different... do you want to try top?” I swallowed hard and felt panic wash over me.

“I-I…UGH…what if I-I mess up?!” He smiled and pulled me in for a kiss.

“Eren, there isn’t really a way to mess it up.” My face was going purple.

“Levi…” He was laying back on the bed, pulling me on top of him. I straddled his hips and leaned forward, burying my face right into his neck. “You can do it babe…unless you want to try something REALLY adventurous, which I’m not sure you’re ready for yet…” I whimpered and pulled my head up. Levi brushed his fingers under my jaw, pressing a kiss to my lips. “I still want to take things relatively slow and normal with you…”

“Y-yeah…that sounds like a good plan…Just…tell me what to do, okay?” Levi grinned and pushed me back up.

“Sure thing.” He took the bottle in his hand and poured a little more lube over himself. I watched his cock practically twitch in front of me and I rubbed at his hips. “Okay. Sit up a little.” He was holding on to himself firmly, and I’m sure my face was a fluorescent red now. “Come forward, and down.” His cock was pressing at my entrance now, and I pressed my weight down.

_Can you hear the silence?  
Can you see the dark?_

 

I felt the familiar burning and my eyes shut, but I went the rest of the down and OH- It went deeper like this almost. Just felt completely different. His fingers were laced with mine and his other hand was on my hip.

 

_Can you fix the broken?  
Can you feel my heart?_

 

“Fuck…Levi…” I just wanted the pain to be over. I wanted the pleasure to take over, to give my mind up to the sensations. I was whimpering at the intrusion, at the sheer depth. I was definitely being overwhelmed. My heart was fucking pounding and my eyes were slammed shut. I knew he was looking. He had to be fucking looking. I felt his hand moved from my hip, and trail it’s way up to my chest.

 

_Can you feel my heart?_

 

“Eren…look at me.” I squeezed his hand as I cracked my eyes open, and sure enough, grey eyes were staring right in to mine. “You’re fucking gorgeous.” I shut my eyes again at his words, hardly believing them. “Stop thinking otherwise.” I whimpered and he gave my hand a squeeze. “Stop letting him get into your head.” My eyes popped open and Levi was looking intensely into mine. “Start believing me when I tell you how fucking beautiful I think you are…” He was begging me almost, pleading as he ran his hand over my chest, down my sides. My scars were on display again. I could see longing in his eyes, love, and…something else?

 

_I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone  
I long for that feeling to not feel at all_

 

“It’s fucking desire, Eren. I want you. I want to pound you into this damn mattress. I have since the day we started talking in the studio, but I refrained. Do you know, why? Because I thought you were fucking sexy, that’s why, Jaeger.” A blush spread across my cheeks and I was tempted to burry my face in Levi’s neck again, but I didn’t really want to move right now. “So fucking believe me, babe.” My heart was thumping. Fuck. Levi thought I was hot from the moment we became friends? With my confidence boosted a little, I perked up. I flashed him a smile and he grinned at me. “Fuck, I love it when you smile.”

My muscles eventually adjusted and I was finally ready to move. I gave Levi a nervous look, but he just urged me on by placing his hand on my lower back and smiling gently.

_The higher I get, the lower I'll sink  
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim_

 

“Just rock easily.” He pushed me forward easily and I sucked in a breath. This was fucking scary. I was pretty much in control of the situation and I really didn’t feel comfortable with that. What if I messed up? What if- “Nnng FUCK!” Levi moaned as he rocked his hips up and sent a jolt through me. My back straightened up and I jerked against him, nearly falling off. “I’ve got you.” Both of his hands were on my hips and my face was going red. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. Sure it felt great, but jeez…

He was urging me to keep rocking and I complied, leaning myself forward onto his shoulders. Strong muscles were supporting my weight, giving me an anchor to balance off of. Every time I would rock forward, his cock would brush that sweet bundle of nerves deep inside and I would practically come undone on top of him. And Levi…Fuck Levi was making these sounds. He was mewling and moaning, completely giving himself over to me. He was watching me though hazy eyes, filled with lust and want, hanging on to my hips.

 

_I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone  
I long for that feeling to not feel at all_

 

I was desperate. Desperate to make him feel good. To draw those moan from him. Louder. Make him scream like he makes me. Why was I challenging myself like this? Of course I wanted to feel like that too, I was practically on the verge of tears because it felt so damn good, but Levi, he was just watching, enjoying.

I leaned forward a little, popping my ass up, like I’d seen in a few pornos and pushed it back down, drawing a whimper from Levi. “S-Shit, Eren!” I did it again, harder this time and his mouth was dropped open in a perfect ‘o’ as he watched me. “FUCK, EREN!!!” He was practically growling as I moved on top of him, but I wasn’t drawing the reaction I wanted from him. I wanted him writhing under me, as desperate as I was. “T-Try this babe.” He leaned me forward a little and started moving at the same time I was, and I just lost it. FUCK. I moved against him, and I felt electricity shoot through me. Levi was fucking slamming into my prostate now, and I couldn’t help but cry out as he hit it again and again.

“FUCK! HNNNNNG! E-ER-EREN!!” I looked down as Levi’s eyes screwed shut and he panted and moaned, jerking against me. “F-Fuck! Y-You’re-HNNGG-“ He was wiggling under me, fingers digging into my hips. SHIT!! I felt that coiling beginning. I needed to let go, wanted that sweet release, but I didn’t want this to end.

I fell forward with a particularly hard thrust, and Levi angled his hips, moving them with me so he didn’t miss a beat. He was still fucking me with my face buried in his neck. “FUCK!!! Holy Shit! LEVI!! PLEASE! Don’t stop! OH!” My fingers were desperately clinging to his shoulder. To his hair, to anything really. FUCK. I could smell that sweet smell again. Intoxicating and purely Levi. My tongue found his neck and I swiped it across his artery.

“HOLY SHIT, EREN!!!” I decided on just leaving my mouth there, swiping, kissing, licking. Gasping, moaning, screaming as Levi kept fucking slamming into my sweet spot.

“R-Right there! AHHH!” His hands were holding on to my ass now, and my face was blood red as he slammed into me, but I could really care less. It just felt too damn good. That coiling was so tight, that I was sure I was going insane. I was whining with the pressure. Whining with the constant slamming into my prostate. Whining with every scream and moan that ripped through Levi. With every scream that ripped through me. Which was a whine and which was a scream? I couldn’t tell anymore…Who’s was whose? Screams and moans were blending together, just like beads of sweat, pants.

 

_Can you feel my heart?, Can you hear the silence?  
Can you see the dark?_

 

That fucking pressure was getting overwhelming now and tears were stinging at my eyes. I needed a release so bad. But with every brush of my prostate I was hit with a wave of pleasure. It was like an ocean, back and forth of waves, building and surging, pressure and pleasure all at once. That is until Levi let out one of the sexiest raspiest moans I’d ever heard as he slammed so hard in to me that I was almost thrown off of him. I completely fucking lost it, and just like that, I was hit with a blinding pleasure as Levi continued to slam into me. I vaguely remember hearing my own scream, remember the intense waves of pleasure washing over me as my orgasm him, his lips capturing mine as I rode it out.

 

_Can you fix the broken?  
Can you feel, can you feel my heart?_

 

I barely remember Levi finally screaming out his end as he thrust in to me a few times before finally losing it. He pulled out just moments later and I remember seeing a relaxed and happy smile on his face. Exhaustion was pulling me down, dragging me almost. I was trying to fight it, but it was already blurring the edges of my reality with sleep. Levi simply pulled the blankets up over us with a grin. A kiss, a whispered I love you….medicine…sleep….


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just want to apologize. I totally just realized all the comments in my inbox I didn't reply to T.T I will get to them. And also sorry for taking so long to update! I will be back to regular updates soon hopefully!! The New Orleans trip just threw EVERYTHING in my life out of balance o.o
> 
> I'M SORRY. T.T *sob* Feel free to throw things at me. *sob sob*
> 
> Also....this isn't edited, so if you see anything just point them out and I'll yeah. I've been looking at this for too long. This chapter just needs to be DONE. DONE I SAY. O.O

Levi’s POV

My eyes flicked open at the sound of my alarm from somewhere in the room. Eren was laying on top of me, legs tangled lazily together with mine. Fuck. Monday. Seriously. I just let the alarm ring all the way through, knowing Eren would sleep right through it. Would he even be up for going to school? He was pretty low yesterday…

I glanced over at him and his head was resting on my chest, rising and falling with every breath that I took. His hair was a mess, but I did have to say it was cute. It was really starting to grow out again. And it was healthy now. The dead ends were gone, and the new shampoos and conditioners were really making his hair shine. It didn’t help with bedhead though. I smiled at his as he snuggled closer to my chest, nuzzling right against me. I felt almost guilty waking him up. Maybe a minute or two longer wouldn’t hurt…

My hand went to rest on his shoulder, rubbing circles into his bare skin gently. I had big plans for today if he did go to school… I sighed and looked over my sleeping beauty. So peaceful compared to the turmoil of yesterday. Hopefully he was feeling better today. Lows like that could take the energy right out of you. I was feeling a lot better for sure, an evening wrapped in Eren’s arms was sure to take away any kind of low I was feeling. I frowned and nudged his shoulder gently.

“Hmm…”

“Babe…are you going to try for school today?” I was answered with a groan, but he opened his eyes and looked at me with a nod. My alarm started going off again for the second time and I sighed, wiggling out from underneath him to search the room for my long abandoned phone. I finally found it and shut it off, grimacing at my 13% battery. Wait…where in the hell was Eren’s phone anyways?

“Leviiiii.” He looked at me from underneath the covers and frowned. “Don’t wanna get up…” I walked back over to the bed and sat down on the edge.

“Is that because you are too lazy to get out of bed or because you really don’t feel well?” He smiled up at me and wiggled to the edge of the bed, resting his head on my leg.

“I don’t want to miss out on the nice view while I’m gone.”

“DAMN BRAT!” My face went red and he grinned like an idiot as I ran my fingers through his hair. “Go get ready for school. Can’t have you showing up like that obviously.” He chuckled and I stood up, walking over to my closet to pull on a pair of underwear and some pajama pants. I flew through my bathroom routine as Eren was groggily brushing his teeth and I pressed a kiss to his cheek, before running down the stairs to the cleaning closet. I grabbed a bucket, gloves and soap before running back upstairs. I can’t believe we just left the fucking house like that last night…BUT…Eren did need me. I wasn’t about to abandon him when he needed me the most. He was tiptoeing around wrappers and bloodstains to get into the shower now.

“S-Sorry Levi, do you want me to-“

“No. I’ve got it babe. Go ahead.” He nodded and hopped into the shower as I began cleaning up the trashed bathroom. God knows Eren really didn’t need to look at the mess any longer.

“So what are your plans today, Levi?” I was scrubbing soap into the tile now, thankfully the stain was coming out pretty easily.

“Well, I have a few errands to run, then I’ll be at Anteiku a little early today. Isabel needs me to cover for her for some reason. Something about a doctor’s appointment with Farlan?”

“They are pretty close, don’t you think?” I stopped scrubbing for a second and let the soap soak into the stain. Isabel and Farlan WERE pretty close…I never really could figure just out how close. They bickered like brother and sister. I started scrubbing at the tiles again and sighed.

“Yeah…how close do you think?”

“Hmm…I don’t know. They pick at each other a lot. Sort of like we do, but on a different level.” I smiled at the thought and wiped the tile clean, moving on to a different spot. “Maybe we’ll find out at the con?”

“True. People are a lot different outside of work.” I moved again, leaning my weight against the brush in my hand. “I can’t believe it’s next weekend. Are you excited?” I heard water splash and looked behind me. Eren was sticking his head out of the shower, pouring water everywhere. “EREN!!!”

“YES!!! SUPER EXCITED!!!” He darted back in and I shot up off the floor, sticking my head in the shower.

“You’ve been a real brat this morning!” The floor was soaked, not just from the scrubbing, but from his spilled shower water. He stuck his tongue out at me and winked. My eyes just went wide. Fuck…why did he have to be so damn cute?!

“Dork.”

“This again?!”

“Yulp!” He started cackling as he washed himself and he reach the body wash to me. “Get my back?” My mouth fell open in disbelief. This kid really had some balls.

“Are you serious right now?”

“Yeah. Please. Leviiii-kun.” SHIT. Shit. Shit…..Just avoid eye contact and…he peeked over his shoulder with those beautiful turquoise eyes and I was done for.

“Damn it…Eren….” I chuckled and took the bath pouf and body wash from him. He turned around and I started scrubbing him, all the way down, cleaning him just as I had before. He let out a soft mewl almost as my fingers ran over him and I had to be careful not to let his sounds get me riled up. “Alright, all done. How is it by the way? Your hips?” He turned towards me with pink cheeks and smiled.

“A little better…not as bad as the first time. Still a little sore though.” I pressed a kiss to his lips and pulled back, looking over his body.

“Well, it’s a start. It’ll get a little easier each time.” He nodded and I couldn’t resist pressing another kiss to those luscious lips of his. Swollen from last night’s kisses maybe? I finished up with the scrubbing and tossed the bucket back inside the closet, and heard the patter of Eren’s footsteps down the stairs.

“MEEEEEEW. MEEEEW.”

“SHIT! Kirara!” Eren’s eyes went wide at the same exact realization and we both ran over to her. She was looking grumpy standing by her empty bowl, waiting for food. “FUCK. I’m sorry little one. Daddy fucked up last night…can’t even take care of a damn kitten…” My hands started to tremble as I opened the cabinet to look for her can of food. How could I be responsible for Eren when I had completely forgotten about Kirara last night?! WAIT. FUCK. Did we eat dinner?! I slammed the can down on the counter and she darted under the blanket in her bed.

“L-Levi?” I felt my heart racing as my fingers trailed over the tab on the lid. I looked up to see Eren staring at me wide eyed. “I…I-Ugh…I can open it?” I smiled like the dork that I was and handed the stupid fucking can over. Like I couldn’t open a can of cat food up.

“I forgot to feed her last night.” I frowned as Eren popped the tab on the little pink can.

“Levi, just let me remind you that you are human. A sexy human at that.”

“Very funny Jaeger.” I looked up from my shaky hands as Eren poured the can into her bowl.

“Look, she’s fine. She’s just having to HAVE a home and something to eat. See?” She was munching at the food happily and Eren gave me a bright smile. “Who cares if it’s a few hours late?”

“I guess you are right…” He walked over to me and gave me a hug.

“So stop freaking out about it.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek and practically made me melt. I swear this kid was going to do me in one day.

“Okay…well it’s a bit late to make breakfast, but if you give me time to take a quick shower I’ll buy you something and walk you. Deal?”

“Deal.” Another hug, another picture perfect smile. Another inward smile of relief. He must be feeling better today. I’m so glad. I hate seeing him miserable. I relectuantly broke away from his warm hug and drug myself upstairs for a record breaking shower. I threw on some clothes, a black pair of paints and a black turtleneck and ran back downstairs to find Eren slipping on his shoes.

“L-Levi…wow…” His cheeks were turning pink again and he was grinning. “You look great.”

“Thanks. You always look great.” I slid my arms around his waist for a quick kiss before slipping on my shoes, and we were out the door.

We stopped by the bakery on the way to his school and his eyes were practically watering in from of the display case. I guess I could take care of my errand while I was out…

“I’ll take half a dozen of the white chocolate chip raspberry cookies.” Eren gave me an odd look and I shrugged. “For a friend.”

“A FRIEND?!”

“Yes. It’s a secret.” He whimpered and eyed the giant cookies.

“Can I have a giant cookie too?!”

“IF you pick out something for breakfast.”

“That.”

“Eren…that’s cake.”

“You didn’t say it had to be a healthy breakfast.”

“Shit…” His eyes gleamed and he was beaming at me. “You’re going to get sick if you eat that for breakfast.”

“I’ll risk it!” I frowned and shook my head.

“Fine. I want a two croissants. Just give me the whole damn chocolate cake since he’s going to make himself sick anyways. And which cookie, Eren?” Eren pointed to the ridiculous chocolate chip, marshmallow, walnut and chocolate drizzle cookie and the lady bagged it up.

“Anything else?”

“Two coffees. Cream and Sugar please.” I took the massive bag from her and we sat down at the table by the window. I reach Eren a plastic fork and a tore off a piece of my croissant for him.

“Please, eat this first.” I pushed it towards his lips and he took it from my fingers, chewing happily as he unpacked the cake from the box.

“Leviiiii. Eat cake with me.” I looked down at the whole fucking chocolate cake on the table and sighed. It was pre-sliced at least… Then I made the wrong choice to look up. Those sea-green eyes were practically glowing with excitement. He was beaming at me, nudging a fork towards me.

“Fine, fine. I’ll eat cake with you.”

“YAAAY!” He leaned across the table and pressed a kiss to my lips. I went instantly red, not expecting the sudden display of affection. “You like raspberries, right?”

“Yeah, why-“ His fork was practically shoved up against my lips and he was feeding me a raspberry off his own utensil. I chuckled and chomped on the perfectly sweet berry. There was certainly no shortage of berries on my piece of cake, but the display of affection was sweet. “What’s gotten into you today, Eren?” He smiled and cut into his own piece of cake.

“I…well…I’m just thankful I guess?” He chewed happily and took a sip of coffee. I cut into my own cake and watched him closely. “I was…I had some pretty bad thoughts yesterday Levi…” I reach my free hand across the table and he gladly took it, dropping his fingers into mine, playing with my fingertips. “You pulled me right back out of those thoughts….hell…you made me feel confident even…just the complete opposite.” He stabbed another raspberry and fed it to me. I chewed slowly as I listened to him. “And…and I’m just so thankful that I have you…that you love me…that we are together….” Another raspberry, shaky fingers, watery eyes. I took the raspberry, but brought his other hand down to rest on the table.

“I am too, Eren. I’m glad I was able to help you last night. You are my world, and I’d hate for anything to happen to you.” He smiled and nodded, looking me directly in the eyes. “Are you really okay now?”

“I’m fine now. Really. You gave me the confidence boost I needed last night.” I gave his hands a squeeze and he let go of one hand so he could eat.

“Good. I’m glad to hear you are feeling better. Eren…you gave me all of your raspberries!” I stabbed one of mine and reach it to him. He gladly took it off the end of my fork with a grin. “Or did you just want me to feed you?”’  
  
“Maybe.” I huffed and we quickly finished up what he considered a breakfast. I gave him his cookie to carry and carried the half a dozen cookies with me as I walked with him. We swung our hands as we hurried to the school, keeping a close eye on the time.

“So I’ll just be meeting you at Anteiku today?”

“Well, eventually. Meet Hanji for tutoring first, then Anteiku after.” He frowned and brought my hand up to kiss it.

“Will you be alright in the store by yourself, Levi? I’m kind of worried…”

“Jean will be coming in right after school. He said something about his 4th period being an elective and skipping out early, so I should have him there.” Eren sighed in relief and we turned the final corner to his school. “Okay, that makes me feel better then. Please be careful, Levi!” He pressed a kiss to my cheek and I waved.

“Have a great day, Eren. Do well in your classes!” I called after him and crossed my arms, the bag of cookies rattling in my arms. The principle gave me an odd look and I sighed. Eren was probably the last kid in the building this morning, because we were running a little late, but he hadn’t missed the bell at least. I saw him disappear down the hallway and I swallowed my fear and everything inside me that told me to turn away. I had to do this.

“Good morning.” Eren’s principle was a taller man, with a shaved head and a brown beard. His eye brows were intense and he looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Quite a lot of stress for the principle of a fucking high school. “Mind if I have a word with you in your office, sir?” He kept his expression calm and nodded.

“Certainly. Follow me.” We walked through the silent hallways and the bag was the only thing besides our footsteps that made sounds as we walked. We walked into an office, where a secretary waited. “Hold my calls, I’ll be in a meeting.”

“Yes sir.” I followed him into his office and sat in front of his desk.

“So what brings you here?” I handed over the bag in my hand and tried my best to offer and handshake. I had to fucking swallow my pride, and resist the urge to nail this moron in the face. It was all for Eren after all.

“I wanted to talk to you about Eren, actually.”

“Eren Jaeger. He’s an interesting kid. Great artist. Likes to get stirred up in trouble though.” He gave me an intense stare and I sighed.

“He get’s picked on a lot. It’s usually not his fault. Anyway, this isn’t about that.” He opened the bag up and took a cookie out.

“Okay, I’ll hear you out.”

“Permission to speak freely?”

“Sure.” He bit into the cookie and leaned back in his chair.

“Eren’s been working his ass off since he moved in with me…he’s be going to tutoring like 3 or 4 days a week at least, working a part time job. He’s been trying his best at math, seriously, and-“

“Wait, Jaeger is living with you?!” My mouth dropped open. This guy was unbelievable.

“Yes. Eren is living with me. Do you know WHY Eren is living with me?” He raised his eyebrow and leaned forward on his desk. “Because after his mother passed away, his father started beating the shit out of him, but you guys just let him slip right through the system. You could care less about him. You called him a problem child, and a bad kid. Well, he’s proved you wrong. He’s making the fucking honor roll every report card. DO YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW?!” His eyes went wide and he was speechless. “Because I have his fucking report card on my refrigerator!” I was about to leave, to seriously tell Eren he was right, but the principle grabbed my wrist. I shook him free and shot him a dirty look.

“J-Jaeger was really abused?”

“He broke his wrist before…” I frowned as I thought back and sighed. The principle sat back in his chair and put his hands together.

“Please…stay. Let’s finish this conversation. What was your reason for coming here?” I looked up at him with a pounding heart. Surely he’d say no after that.

“Well…prom is this weekend and Eren said that he didn’t want to go because I couldn’t be his date. He said it was all because you wouldn’t let me in, so I’m here to pretty much ask your permission for a kid that’s had one hell of a hard year. Can you give him a decent senior prom at least?”

“I’m sure he’ll have a good time regardless, Mr-

“Ackerman.”

“Mr.Ackerman. What will the other parents think if I let a…gay couple dance together at prom?”

“I don’t know? That you aren’t a homophobe or maybe that you believe in equal rights? Or just maybe that you are trying to make one fucking kid that’s had a horrible year happy, but who am I to ask that? Eren’s not going to go to your damn prom without me there, and I know that for sure. He’ll just hang around the house and be miserable for the night.” I stood up and walked to the door finally tired of his bullshit.

“WAIT!” I stopped with my hand on the handle. “Okay okay. Let’s talk this out.” I turned towards him and crossed my arms over my chest.”

“Alright?”

“Eren has done exceptionally well over the last few months. His grades have skyrocketed. His been nominated for that art award…I guess…I guess you can escort him to prom. BUT-“ I smirked. “Keep it tasteful. Do you understand? Don’t be grinding and making out on my dancefloor. That goes for ALL of my students though.” I walked forward and smiled.

“I understand. I will keep it classy. Thank you sir.” I shook hands with him and nodded.

“And if there are any disturbances caused by you two being there together, it falls on you and Eren. Got it?”

“Absolutely.”

“Alright, well I have another meeting in just a few minutes, so I will probably see you prom night then, if I don’t see you in the mornings.”

“Have a nice day.” I walked out of the building and as soon as my feet hit the pavement, my fingers flew to my phone.

**To Hanji: I need a HUGE favor.**

I began walking towards the more upscale side of town, to the shop that I rarely went to.

Hanji: What’s up, buttercup?

I smirked at her text and my fingers worked overtime.

**To Hanji: I need you to skip tutoring today and take Eren to get a tux if you don’t mind.**

**Hanji: AGHHHH!! HE SAID YES?! OMG!!! YES! YES! YES! Absolutely! Are you going now? Send me a picture so we can coordinate!**

Hanji was definitely my best friend for a reason.

**To Hanji: Yeah, I’m going now. Will send you a picture. THANK YOU!**

**Hanji: Welcome!!!**

I grinned as I walked into the clothing store and the door shut behind me. Hopefully Hanji would be able to help out Eren with his.

 

 

Eren’s POV

I was sitting in 4th period as my phone buzzed.

**Hanji: Meet me out front of your school. Gotta make a pit stop.**

Hmm…that’s odd. I shrugged as the bell rung and ran out front to look for Hanji. She was waiting by the statue with Armin and Mikasa and I waved to them.

“Hey! I’ve got a surprise for you!”

“Is it math?” I frowned as she reach me an envelope.

“Nope! It’s a love letter from your honey!” I blushed as I took the letter from her hands, instantly recognizing the elegant _Eren_ , scrolled across the front. I opened it up and my eyes were surely deceiving me.

_Eren,_

_I actually went and had a talk with your principle today. We came to an understanding and he’s letting me take a certain brown haired brat to prom. That’d be you. Go with this crazy math tutor hear and get you something sexy to wear for the occasion. She has a picture of my suit, so try to match that. I’ll see you at Anteiku later babe. And remember Eren. BE YOURSELF. I love you._

_Levi_

 

“Eren? Eren! What’s wrong?!” Mikasa was demanding and I was just giving a blank stare as I re-read the letter.

“Levi’s taking me to prom!”

“WHAT?!”

“He got permission from Shadis! H-He’s really going with me!!!” I felt tears stinging at my eyes and Hanji pulled me into a hug.  


“AWWWW MY BABY!!!!” I wiped at my eyes and Mikasa and Armin were grinning. “Well, let’s get going Eren! Lots of suits to try on!” I followed the bobbing ponytail down the street to a tailor shop with lots of suits in the window. We walked in and were greeted by an older couple. The man approached us. He was tall, but completely bald, with a grey mustache and a wrinkled face. He was dressed to the nines, and shook hands with us both as we entered.

“Hello! Welcome to fashions by Pixis! I’m Pixis! Looking for anything in particular?”

“Actually we are!” Hanji said with a grin. “Something to match this!” She showed him the picture of Levi’s suit and I caught a peak. Red and black…damn. He was going to look hot.

“Oh yes! What a nice gentleman! I sold him that suit earlier today! Do you want it to match perfectly?” I looked to Hanji.

“Not exactly. Let’s just see what Eren likes. As long as the colors match.” He pulled off a black coat, with a velvet lining, some intricate patterns inside.

“I think this, with the red shirt of course. Black vest maybe? Black tie.” He was holding up pieces of my outfit and I nodded as I glanced at the picture on Hanji’s phone.

“Wait, what color is Levi’s tie?”

“Black, I’m sure. He bought a red shirt.” Does Levi even own a black tie? Well, besides our Ouran ties? I nodded and picked my own tie off of the rack.

“Okay! Go try everything on, Eren!” Hanji clapped and sent me into the dressing room. It felt weird without Levi here. The last time I’d really tried on clothing with anyone else was with Mom…I felt my stomach lurk and I hung the suit up on the door. I fished my phone out my pocket as I felt my chest tighten and threw my shirt in the corner. I dialed Levi’s number, and panicked for a moment, realizing he was already at work. I hung up immediately and balanced myself against the wall of the dressing room as everything spun around me. My phone starting ringing.

 _Kiss, kiss, fall in love!_ __  
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)  
  
I see you come, I watch you go; 

_You never seem to leave me, though._

“H-Hello?”

“Eren. Did you just call? My phone rung like twice and then cut off. I thought you were with Hanji?” I sucked in a breath and sunk down against the back of the wall.

“Y-Yeah…well…just needed to talk t-to you…sorry to call at work.” It was hard forming my words through my closing chest.  
  


“EREN!!! You okay in there?!” Hanji called against the door and I pulled my knees up to my chest.

“Ugh….n-not really. I’m taking a breather. T-Talking to Levi.”

“Okay!! I’ll be out here!!!” She said it in her sing song voice and I heard her voice footsteps wander off. I heard Levi’s muffled voice.

 _“Jean, I’m taking five. Can you handle it? Okay. Thanks.”_ I sighed and tried to take a deep breath. “Eren, what’s going on babe?”

“Haven’t really went shopping with anyone else but you since….well…”

“Since your Mom passed away?”

“Y-Yea…”

“Fuck…Eren, just try to stay strong, okay? Think about how happy she would be right now. Her son is getting ready to buy a suit and go to prom.” I felt tears sting my eyes and I leaned my head back to try to shove them back.

“Y-Yeah…”

“Just take your time and stay calm. Even if it takes you a while, okay? And talk to Hanji, that’s what she’s there for. Really. She’s helped me through a lot. Believe me. ”

“Thanks, Levi…”

“You’re welcome. I’ll have my phone if you need me again, okay?”

“Yeah.” I sniffled a few times and stood up, although my legs were a little shaky.

“Call me if you need me again. Promise?”

“I promise. I’ll be alright now…hearing your voice really helps, but if I need you I’ll call.”

“Alright. Sounds good. Love you Eren. I’ll see you later.

“L-Love you too. Bye.” I ended the call and leaned against the wall.

 

“HIIIIII!!!”

“HANJI!!” Hanji was peeking over the dressing room wall. “WHAT THE HELL?!”

“Just let me in!!!

“WHAT?!?!”

“I’ll help you!! Come on Eren! I’ve done this with Levi TONS of times! You’re gay! You need a girl best friend to help you pick out clothes!!!”

“H-Hanji!!!” My face was red, but she was hopping up and down, peering at me over the partition. “FINE. Just stop!” I unlocked the door and let her into the dressing room. Luckily it was spacious.

“You alright? Your face is red!”

“I’M FINE!” I shoved the shirt at her and leaned back into the corner. “I…well I’m not really okay…” She held the shirt in her hands and frowned at me.

“Want to talk about it? I’m all ears. Pants.” She pointed to my jeans and I turned red, but began unbuckling my belt. FUCK. The last girl I’d even undressed in front of was Mikasa… Pretty much the ONLY girl besides my mom. I slipped off my pants awkwardly and tossed them in the floor.

“Well…I haven’t really went shopping and tried on clothes with anyone except my Mom and Levi…”

“OH! Eren…” She pulled me into a hug and I felt her smiling against my cheek. “Why didn’t you say so earlier?”

“I didn’t…I mean…I don’t know…” I sighed into her hug and shut my eyes. Hugging Hanji with no pants on…that seemed about right for her…

“Well I’m sure you will look great! You have an awesome ass!”

“HANJI!” I broke away from her and she chuckled.

“Here!” She handed me some pants with a smile and luckily they fit. The shirt was a bit tight, so we found a larger size, and everything else went smooth from there. “Look at you! Levi is gonna eat you up! Oh wait…Who eats who? Is that a thing?!” My face went blood red as I watched her jump around in the mirror behind me.

“Oh. My. God. Please just shut up.”

“I’m sure it’s a thing! I googled it once!” I wheeled around on my heel and my eyes went wide. There were a few girls in the store now, and both were eyeing us oddly. “I mean, besides the…YA KNOW.” She made a motion with her hands and I tried to put my hands over her mouth.

“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT-“ She pried them off with a cackle.”

“OH! You should get THIS!” she pointed to lacy underwear and I froze. HELL. NO. This wasn’t happening. Fuck. I fished my phone out of my pocket and ran back into the dressing room. “EREEEEEEN!!!! LEVI WOULD LIKE THEM!!! OHHHH!!!!

“Hello?” Her voice echoed over the top of the dressing room wall.

“THEY HAVE THE THONG VERSION!!!!”

“NO! I’M NOT WEARING THAT!-Levi…what do I do, she’s going crazy. She…She’s making smutty comments and…and…I can’t handle it!” I heard him chuckle and as crazy as it sounds his laugh calmed me a little. He pulled away from the phone for a second _. “Have a nice day.”_

“Well, have you found everything? What’s the shopping situation?”

“I just need to grab a tie and put my other clothes back on-“

“EREN! COME ON!”

“NO!”

“Well, go ahead and put your clothes back on. Give the phone to her. I’ll keep her busy for a minute.”

“But you are at work and-“

“It’s fine. There’s only a few people on Jean’s side right now. I can handle it.”

“Fuck. Thank you.” I reach the phone over the top of the dressing room out to Hanji. “HANJI! Phone!”

“Hellooooo?!” I stripped quickly and re-dressed in record time, handing the suit back on the hanger along with the shirt. I ran out of the dressing room and grabbed a matching tie and ran up to the counter just as Hanji was shoving my phone at me. “He said he had to go, but he would see you later.” The old man smiled as he wrote down all of the pieces I was holding.

“You are with Mr. Ackerman, correct?”

“Ugh…yes sir.”

“Alright. I’ve added everything to his bill. Let me bag the suit for you.” He bagged it up and Hanji was on her phone chatting with someone. I sighed as I watched him carefully bag the suit and put my shirt and tie in a separate bag. “Excellent! Have a great day!” I took the bags from his hands and followed Hanji outside. There was a cab waiting for us and she grinned.

“Can’t have you walking around with your suit can we?!” I hopped in the back of the cab with Hanji and after we dropped my suit off at the apartment, the cab dropped me off at Anteiku. I waved to Hanji and walked inside. Levi smiled at me and looked at the clock.

“Farlan and Isabel are here now. I’m taking a break. Care to join me? You’ve got a little time.”

“Sure.” He clocked out for a break and joined me by the coffee bar. He frowned as he looked at me.

“You alright, Eren?” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close.

“L-Levi were-“

“Both off the clock right now. You’ve had a hard day. I can tell…” I sighed and rested my head against his shoulder.

“I’m just…just not wanting to be here today…I’m missing Mom pretty bad.” His arms tightened around me and my hands fell to his hips. Fuck. He smelled good. Like his cologne and coffee.

“Eren! HI!” Isabel’s voice rang through my ears and I buried my face deeper into his shoulder. I was slowly sinking. Hanji had helped me through the trip, but I just didn’t want to deal with people right now.

“He’s…he’s not feeling well.” Levi stroked my hair and I sunk against him.

“Oh no!” I heard her footsteps get closer. “Well…maybe you should take the day off?” My hand locked against Levi’s hip. I wasn’t leaving. Not when he was the only thing that made me feel remotely human.

“Ugh…maybe you can just camp out on the big couch, Eren.” I nodded against his shoulder without looking up.

“No Levi, he needs to go home if he’s not feeling well. We don’t want to catch his sickness.” I could almost feel the glare he was shooting her.

“What?! I mean the both of you of course! You’ve done your part today! All I really needed you for was to cover our shift this morning. Go take care of your boyfriend.”

“Thanks Isabel. Really.”

“No problem!! If you need me, I’m a call away! Feel better, Eren!” I gave her a half smile as I peeled myself away from Levi’s shoulder. He hung his apron up on the rack and grabbed his bag.

“Bye Jean. Thanks.”

“Bye. Feel better!” As soon as we were outside my stomach began to churn. I felt guilty, and as soon as the thoughts were running through my head, Levi’s arm looped around my waist.

“Eren, just take a deep breath. Okay?” I breathed in and as I exhaled, Levi pressed a kiss to my neck. We were walking home. Home. That’s all I had to think about. I’d be home with Levi in no time. “See? Not so hard. Try another for me? Don’t overthink this.” I took another breath and shuddered as I let it out. I leaned further into Levi. My support, my rock, my anchor.

 

Levi’s POV

Eren looked tired. Really fucking tired. Like he was just weighed down with the world right now. I pulled him closer to me and hugged him tight.

“I feel guilty.”

“Don’t be. You need a day off.” I brushed his bangs out of his face and we kept walking, pressed tight against each other.

“I just…I pulled you away also.” He was frowning and I couldn’t bear it.

“Eren. Maybe I want to spend the day with you. Ever thought about that?” He looked up at me with half a smile and nodded. “So just enjoy it, okay?”

“Okay.” Another hug and we continued the short walk home. When we finally arrived, I unlocked the door and we hurried inside, setting our bags by the couch.

“Make yourself comfy, I’ll put on some tea.” He settled under the Kotatsu and I smiled at him from the kitchen as he put his head down on the table top for a moment, waiting for the heat to start.

“Levi…” I looked up from the steaming tray and set the mugs down on the table before I settled down beside him.

“Yeah?”

“It was a hard day…”

“I know.” I rubbed his thigh under the table and he looked up at me as I stirred sugar into the mugs with my other hand. “And you did great. You were so strong Eren. You made it through. Your Mom would be so proud.” Tears welled up in his eyes, but he managed to hold them back as he smiled and nodded. “I’m so proud. Really.” I abandoned the spoon in my hand to stroke his cheek gently. Steam rose up off the mugs and I watched it drift around. He kept smiling as I slid his mug closer and took it into one hand, and my left hand into his other.

“So, what do you want to do today?” I smiled at him and stroked his fingers with my own.

“Anything as long as it’s with you. Nothing too strenuous. I want you resting today though. No homework.” He stretched a little and sunk down further under the kotatsu.

“Sounds good to me! Hmmm…You pick.” I sipped my tea and grinned.

“How about an art day? We can just lounge around and do whatever. Just sit under the kotatsu all evening?”

“That sounds great!” He perked up and sipped his tea. “But…” he frowned as he looked down at the blanket. “But…that means I have to get out from underneath the kotatsu….LEVI….” I grinned and ruffled his hair, before I leaned over to press a kiss to his forehead.

“You are lucky I love you, brat.” I got out from under the table and stood up. “What do you want? Sketch book?”

“Sketch book. Hmm…maybe colored pencils today. Markers.” I walked over to the storage cabinet and started pulling out the boxes. I grabbed my messenger bag, as well as my drawing box from my desk that had my extra supplies. I guess it was now or never. Maybe he wouldn’t mind me using him as a model today? I sat his supplies down in front of him and began unloading my bag.

“Thank you!” He flipped to a clean page and began searching for a pencil. I felt a little uneasy. What if I had crossed the line with this manga? What if…what if Eren thought I was weird for drawing him? I frowned as my fingers lingered on the edges of my sketchbook. “What’s wrong, Levi?” He was grinning at me, rolling his pencil back and forth. I blushed and ran my fingers over the spiral binding.

“I…I ugh…well…I’ve been working on this for a while….” I sank back down under the kotatsu beside him and handed him the sketch book. “But…if you think it’s weird, I’ll just put it away. I really will understand.” He flipped through the first few pages and his eyes lit up.

“You…you are doing a manga of us?!” I could hear the excitement in his voice and relief washed over me.

“Yeah. What do you think?” He was grinning as he flipped the pages.

“Fuck. Levi this is…this is incredible.” He was smiling from ear to ear. My hand found his thigh again as he flipped the pages and I nervously watched his reactions, until he reach the last page. He gently closed the book and climbed all the way under the kotatsu to my side, just to tackle-hug me, pushing me onto my back with him lying on top of me. “IT’S WONDERFUL!!!!”

“I’m so glad! I was nervous about it!” I hugged him close to me and I could feel myself grinning like an idiot. I felt him move up my body a little until he was looking straight into my eyes, turquoise practically sparkling as he beamed. My hands were pushing his hair back again. It was really soft and healthy now he was properly taking care of it. He was truly looking better all around. “Hey…how did I get so lucky?” I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips and he returned it, deepening it. His arms were around me, and mine around him, and there curled up under the kotatsu, we just kissed and cuddled for a long while. Enjoying not only the warmth from the heating element, but each other’s bodies. After a long while of Eren’s soft breathing against me, I kissed the top of his head.

“Are you asleep?”

“No, just enjoying this.”

“Mhmm…what happened to drawing?” I chuckled and he peeked up at me with a smile.

“I was just enjoying this. It’s nice to sit here with you.” I nodded and stroked his face again.

“It is nice. I have a question for you, though.” He raised his head up and bit to look at me. “Would…you model for me? For my manga?” He grinned and leaned forward a bit to kiss me.

“One condition and I will.”

“What’s that?”

“Keep kissing me. Between the drawings?” I chuckled and ruffled his hair again.

“Sure thing.” He made his way back to his side of the table and I flipped to the second half of my sketchbook to do the reference drawings. I started with a sketch of him leaning on the table first, starting at me with his tongue sticking out. “Your face is going to get stuck like that.”

“You like my tongue anyway!” He giggled and after a few moments (and quite a bit of adjustment to his hands), I finally got the sketch pretty accurate.

“Alright. Next pose!” He frowned and looked at me.

“How do you want me?”

“Hmm…” I flipped to the back page and nodded. “Can you sit on the couch? Oh…right.” I stood up as he moved and pulled him in for a kiss. I felt my own cheeks getting flush. After we parted and he sat, I moved the positions of his feet and hands a bit, then had him relax. My pencil hit the paper again and I quickly filled in every contour, every curve, every edge. My Eren.

“That one was easy enough.” He grinned again and stretched.

“Show off! What next?” I pointed to the floor next to me, kissing him as he laid on his side. “Wait. Shirt off.” His eyes went wide and his grin turned to a frown. “Levi…” His arms wrapped protectively around himself and he scooted closer to me, resting his head on my thigh. “You are going to draw me without my shirt?” he mumbled it against my thigh with a sigh.

“I was planning on it. You are gorgeous, babe…”

“But…” He snuggled closer to me, pushing my sketchbook out of the way. “But…I…I’m not comfortable with that…please Levi…” He groaned and wiggled against me. “I have scars…and marks all over. I’m rough looking…” I ran my fingers though his hair, but he still didn’t look up at me.

“Eren, that doesn’t matter to me. I’ve told you before-“

“I don’t want it being put into the manga…” He finally looked up at me with those beautiful eyes and blinked a couple of times. “Please…you can draw me…even add the scars…just…just don’t put them in the final draft, okay?” He pushed his face down into my thigh again. I brushed my fingertips across the back of his neck and he shuddered. “Those…those are only for you to see, Levi. Okay?”

“Okay. Fine by me.” I leaned down and buried a kiss into the gorgeous mop of hair. He looked up at me before hesitantly slipping off his shirt.

“O-On my side? Like this?” He looked delicious laying there like that, and I sketched every curve, every mark, every line, every shadow, every highlight. Just the way I saw. Even down to the way the pink was dusting his cheeks and shoulders.

“That’s perfect. You are perfect. Fuck.” The dip, right at his hip where his jeans began… His face turned red and he smiled.

“Levi! I-I’m…I’m not…”

“You are perfect to me, and that’s all that matters.” He hid his face with his free hand, but I could see his ears turning a deeper shade of red. “Okay, next one?”

“What next?” I pointed to his pants and his eyes went wide.

“I mean, only if you are comfortable.”

“LEVI…I…” He looked away and I scooped him up into my arms and pulled him close to me.

“Like I said, completely up to you. I want you to feel comfortable if you do it.” He groaned and rested his head against my shoulder. My fingers were rubbing circles against his bare back as I held him against me, right up on my lap.

“UGH…it’s not fair you know…” He muttered it into my neck with a sigh then he pulled back to look at me. “You give me the best birthday ever, make my dream prom possible…hell you even gave me a Valentine’s day that anyone would kill for…the least I could do would be to model for you…” His hand crept down towards his zipper and I stopped him.

“ONLY if you feel comfortable and want to. I’m not forcing you to do this, okay? I can memorize enough of your body to come up with a sketch on my own. If not, we can just practice some more.” I winked at him and he shook his head.

“I’m sure. It’s the least I can do for you. I trust you, Levi. It’s art after all. I’ve seen your manga. It’s beautiful. I’m honored you want to draw me. Just…kiss me first of course? We are between drawings after all…”

“Mhmm….” I pulled him closer and his lips crashed into mine. My tongue swiped across his bottom lip, and of course he granted me entrance. We kissed more than I thought out my next composition, and when we pulled away, Eren was unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them off with his underwear. Oh…not bad. Clearly the kiss did the job. His cheeks were still pink and he was staring at me with an embarrassed look.

“Umm…how…how do you want me?” I stood up and grabbed some cushions off of the couch and propped him up.

“Knees out to the side, put one hand next to your head. Yeah like that.” His eyes were glazing over as he adjusted himself a bit more, and to be quite honest, it was a little uncomfortable to sit cross-legged with my drawing pad now. Eren just looked too damn sexy like this. He was practically on display for me. I flipped the page and graphite hit the fresh, white paper. Once again, I started with his top half, getting the proportions right, and moving along from there. I drew in the details and added shadows and highlights from there. He was practically panting once I was done.

“L-Levi…can...will you…touch me?” I closed my sketchbook and tossed it over on the table. He looked so bare and vulnerable like this. He was also freezing.

“Come one. Under the kotatsu. You’re freezing.” I pulled him under the same side as me and wrapped my hand around him.

“Hnnnnng. Leeeevi.” His eyes were rolling at even the slight touch and I knew he wasn’t going to last long. Going for such a long time as I drew him without even touching himself was probably torture. I wiggled under the table and heard my own jeans unzip. Eren yanked them down and I was greeted with a hard stroke from his own hand beneath the kotatsu. I was leaning over him, and though he was beneath me, he was still taking the same care with his strokes.

“FUCK. Eren…” I leaned my head against his shoulder, feeling his warmth against my whole front side and the heating element of the table against my back. I was unbelievably hard myself. Looking at a fucking naked model who just so happens to be your boyfriend for twenty minutes or so will do that. I felt the coiling already and shuddered. FUCK. Already? No way. AGHH….

“Lee…LEEEVI.” Eren was squirming below me as I pumped him hard, putting everything into each and every stroke I gave him. He was bucking into my hand with each stroke, cheeks flushed a brilliant pink. His voice cracked and right as his hand snaked under my shirt, his nails dug into my back as he cried out and lost it. Sputtering and shaking against me. FUCK. It was hot and he didn’t slow his pace on me, but for a few seconds either. I gave in to my own orgasm and came with a cry, collapsing beside him under the warm table.

“Fuck….” He laughed softly and pulled the blanket closer around us.

“I guess…if you really want to later…I want to cuddle now. And not leave the kotatsu for a while.” He nuzzled my neck and I grinned.

“Sounds like a deal to me.” I kissed his forehead and smiled softly, feeling my eyelids getting heavy with the combined factors of the heat of the kotatsu, my post-orgasmic bliss, and Eren’s arms curled around me. “Nap?”

“Mhmm…”

“Love you brat.”

“Love you too, dork.” I cracked an eye open and he beamed at me. I stuck my tongue out at him and we settled back down for our nap. Cleaning would just have to come later.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi miss their alarm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is still enjoying LCSU?? O.o Yes? No? *sob sob* I hope. *falls over*
> 
> Leave me some comments :3
> 
> And because I'm an idiot this has been edited XD

Levi’s POV

“Levi…LEVI…” So warm…Eren was so close…and wiggly? And shaking me?!

“Whaa?” I lifted my head up and stared at a confused Eren. “What’s wrong?!”

“What time is it?!” I dug my phone put of my pocket and frowned.

“Phone’s dead.”

“Mine too!” My eyes went wide as reality hit me. How long had we been asleep?! The sun wouldn’t be shining THIS brightly through the windows after a nap. It’d be sunset or night by now!

“FUCK!” I crawled out from under the kotatsu and zipped up my pants before running into the kitchen to check the time. “DOUBLE FUCK!”

“WHAT TIME IS IT?!?”

“It’s 10:30!!!”

“AGHHH!!! I heard a bang and a whimper. “SHIT!” I ran over and Eren was holding his arm. I crouched down beside him and looked him over.

“Hey, what’s the rush?”

“I…I need to go and…” he rubbed his arm and frowned. “Shit…” He buried his face in his arm and shook his head.

“You need to shit?”

“No! LEVI!” He grinned at me and stuck his tongue out. “I was going to hurry and get ready for school but…I guess that’s kind of pointless now…” I ruffled his hair and he slowly crawled out from under the kotatsu and into my arms. “This wasn’t supposed to happen today, Levi…” His hair fell against my shirt and my fingers found his bare back, just as they had last night, caressing circles. Rubbing comfort. “Now I’m going to be worried about catching up in my classes…” I kissed the top of his head and sighed.

“Eren, everything happens for a reason. Okay? Just keep believing it. You probably needed a break from classes as well…and apparently I did too.”

“YOU MISSED YOUR MORNING CLASS!!!” I chuckled and shrugged.

“Like I said, it’s not a big deal. It happened for a reason. Some things we just need to learn to let go and not worry so much over. School is something that can be caught up pretty easily.” He relaxed against me a little and nodded.

“Yeah…that’s true…” After a kiss to his cheek, we both stood and made our way upstairs. He dropped his clothes in the hamper from the living room floor and I put both of our phones on charge. I joined him in the bathroom and brushed my teeth alongside him in the mirror.

“You should brush your teeth naked more often.” He grinned and shook his head.

“If you do it, I will.”

“Fine.” I hugged him with one arm before we finished up, and he slid on a pair of underwear before plopping down in the bed. My phone was going crazy.

**Hanji:   LEVI**

**LEVI**

**LEVIIIIII**

**To Hanji: WHAT?!?!**

**Hanji: Come for drinks tonight. It’s Moblit's birthday!**

I frowned at the message.

“Levi, come here.” Eren frowned as he watched me. I stretched the phone cord with me and settled down next to Eren. He pressed a kiss to my neck and damn, did it feel nice. The perfect night in was laying right beside me.

**Hanji: BRING EREN**

**To Hanji: (A) Eren’s not old enough to drink at a bar. (B) Neither of us are supposed to drink on our medicine (C) I don’t even know Moblit that well. (D) NO.**

I got an immediate message back.

**Hanji: NOOO**

I shoved my phone onto the nightstand and cuddled back up to Eren. Not 3 seconds later, my phone was screaming from my nightstand.

“UGHH. LEAVE. ME. ALONE.” I buried my face into Eren’s shoulder and felt him shift against me.

“Hello?”

“ERENNNNN!” Fuck. “You both need to come out tonight! Convince that little midget of yours to stop being a hermit and come out for Moblit's birthday!”

“Stop calling Levi a-“

“YOU need to stop being a hermit too! Cutie! Just tell him it’ll be at the regular spot tonight.”

“But Hanji-“

“SEE YOU THERE!”

“HAN-“ The line went dead and I sighed.

“Who’s Moblit?” he asked as he reach my phone back to me.

“Some geology major that Erwin knows. They are actually really good friends, so he’s kind of a mutual friend to everyone, but I don’t know him that well…”

“And where is the regular spot?” I slid the phone back onto the nightstand with a frown.

“It’s a bar pretty close to the University. I don’t want to go, Eren. I don’t want either of us getting sucked into that. Especially playing that game of mixing our medication…”

“But Hanji thinks we are boring.”

“Let her. She can go drink herself into a stupor tonight too.”

“You drank in LA and you were fine…” I shot him a glare.

“You’re really bringing this up now?!” He frowned and gave me a look that I’d never really recognized from him. He was hurt. I could see it in his eyes.

“And you are pissed at me for it…”

“Eren…I apologized for it already. Let sleeping dogs lie. I don’t want to fight with you.” He went silent, but kept the same look on his face. “And now you are upset with me?”

“I just…I don’t know…” I tried to brush the hair away from his face, but he pulled away from my touch.

“Eren…”

“I just… I think we should really talk about it. We never really did, Levi…” Fuck. He pulled away from me and pulled his knees up to his chest. “You drank…even though I asked you not to…you…you completely ignored me that night. You pretty much left me to fend for BOTH of us…” I sighed and gripped my hair in my fingers.

“And now what? What do you want me to do?!” I felt tears stinging my eyes. My chest hurting. Was he going to leave now? After everything we’d been through….After-

“I just want you to realize that you are all I fucking have Levi…” he gripped my hand and turned towards me. Tears were running down his cheeks. “It’s terrifying. I’m so fucking scared that something will happen and…and- FUCK….” He gripped at his chest and struggled for a breath. “I…I don’t” A cough and a gasp. More tears. My tears were added into the mix. “Want to lose you.”

“Fuck! Breathe Eren!” I yanked him into my arms and rubbed his shoulder. “Just breathe. It’s okay. Calm down. I’m fine. You’re fine. I won’t drink anymore. I’m sorry…SO fucking sorry…” Another gasp. I felt him trembling and nodding in my arms.

“Don’t wanna….” He took a shallow breath and buried his face in my chest. “Lose you, Levi.” I rubbed his back, his shoulders. His skin was wet from our tears, from the cold sweat of his panic attack.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” He desperately nodded and I hugged him. “And I won’t take one more fucking drink of alcohol as long as you are by my side. Unless it’s at a time we can both agree on it. Got it?” He nodded again and looked up at me, after taking another shallow breath.

“F-Fuck…Levi…s-sorry…this…this wasn’t…”

“Shhhh…it’s alright.” I ran my fingers though his hair to calm him. “Everything will be alright.”

“I’m sorry…I don’t…” I pulled the blankets up around him protectively.

“Eren. You did what I wanted you to do. You were upset. I wanted you to talk to me about it, before it spiraled out of control. He nodded and sunk closer.

“K-kay…” My phone buzzed again and I was half tempted to throw it across the fucking bedroom. He looked up at me with watery eyes and I kissed his forehead.

“I won’t ever do anything to knowingly hurt you. Not ever again. Okay? I’m in this for the long run, Eren. I love you. Please trust me.”

“I l-love you too. I do Levi…I just…” he took a shaky breath and I wiped his tears. “I guess it’s been weighing on me for a while…”

“Well you can’t let that stuff build up, okay? I fuck up sometimes, babe. I’m not promising you that I’ll be perfect, because I’m not, but I promise that I’ll try my best for you.”

“Okay. You really are great Levi. Really. Just anything that reminds me of…of him…just…”

“I understand. Believe me.” My phone started ringing and I practically hissed and answered it without looking.

“FUCK! HANJI I’M NOT GOING! Eren isn’t feeling well, and to be perfectly honest neither am I! Leave us the FUCK alone. SERIOUSLY!”

“WOAH WOAH WOAH!!! What’s wrong with Eren, buttercup?!” That voice defiantly was NOT Hanji’s…oops…

“Isabel?”

“The one and only! I was calling to check and see if you were coming in tonight.”

“Oh…”

“So he’s not feeling well still?” I sighed and ran my hand over my face.

“Well…it’s more of an emotional thing…but yeah. If you can understand that. We can still come if you need us though.”

“No! It’s fine!!! Take another day. Rest. Where is Hanji trying to drag you?”

“A bar over on 6th.”

“Ooooh. I think I know the place. Good milkshakes! You should go!! Well feel better! Tell Eren I send smiles and hugs his way! SMOOOOOOCH! Bye bye Levi!”

“Bye Isabel. Thanks.” The line went blank and I gave Eren a puzzled look.

 

“It was Isabel…”

“Isabel?”

“She said not to worry about work today.”

“Oh. I thought it was Hanji bugging us about the bar again.” He rested his head against me and sighed.

“No, but Isabel said we should go and have a milkshake.” I shook my head and set my phone aside again.

“They have milkshakes?” he looked up at me with a frown. I raised my eyebrow and chuckled.

“Yeah…you seriously want to go to a bar and get milkshakes?”

“Why not? Everyone wins, right?” a small smile crept onto his lips and I just couldn’t resist.

“Fine, fine. We’ll go and get milkshakes for Mike’s birthday.” I smiled down at him and he hugged me.

“Sorry if I upset you Levi…”

“Sorry if I over reacted.” More hugs. At least it didn’t end in screaming.

 

Later that evening

Levi’s POV

“How is it?” Eren was sipping on a chocolate milkshake the size of his head and he was grinning.

“Great! Want a sip?” I leaned closer and took his straw. Mhmm…chocolate. I was having strawberry.

“HEY!” He giggled as he gulped down my milkshake.

“It’s good! AGH! Brain freeze!” He held his forehead and grinned as he pushed the glass away from himself.

“Moblit!!! How old are you?!”

“I’m not telling!” He was sitting next to Erwin sipping a beer and Erwin, surprisingly was only having a soda.

“Do you not drink, Erwin?” Eren asked as he stared at the can.

“I have a test tomorrow. I figured it’d be best not to. One leads to two, then two leads to six.”

“Erwin is a baby!” Moblit said with a smile. “BUT HANJI WILL!” Hanji held up her margarita and winked.

“I’m glad you two came!” Hanji said with a smile.

“Yeah, I think we needed to get out of the house.” I agreed. I was holding Eren’s hand under the table and he was blushing. “What? You never get embarrassed about hand holding…” I whispered it just loud enough so he could hear.

“I guess it’s just your new friend…” I picked the cherry off of my milkshake and held it to his lips. He gladly took it, even though his cheeks flashed another deeper shade of red.

“Like I said, he’s not even a close friend. Secondly, I’m in love with YOU, Eren. I could care less what people think.” He smiled and nodded. Damn those pink cheeks were cute. And that crazy mop of hair. We heard thunder shake through the building.

“Is it supposed to rain?”

“It ALWAYS rains on my birthday!” They laughed it off, but I just couldn’t stop staring into those pools of turquoise in front of me. No matter what I did, or who was in my presence, my eyes would always return to Eren’s. To the stunning Caribbean green. We heard the rain start outside and Erwin told us a story about how he found a baby squirrel in a puddle one day and rescued it. Moblit was on to his 3rd beer by now and Hanji was starting her 2nd margarita. We were still trying to make it through the first milkshake.

“I’m going to ask for more cherries. Is that okay?” Eren asked with a grin.

“Whatever you want.” I smiled and he retrieved a small plate of them from the bar and joined me back at the table.

“Too much ice cream to eat by itself!” I fed him another cherry, taking my time to tease him with it as Erwin started on a second story and another blush crept across his cheeks. I wonder if he could tie a knot in the stem…that’d be for another day. I brought our lips together, because I just couldn’t keep off of him any longer. He was all mine, and screw them if they were against us. We heard a glass shatter behind us and we immediately broke apart.

“EREN?!” His eyes went wide and his hand constricted into a death grip around mine.

“N-No…NO…..” There standing behind him and slightly to the right was none other than Grisha Jaeger.

 

 

I heard a gasp and sure enough, it came from Eren. I pulled him out of the booth and gripped his hand tight.

“RUN! NOW.”

“L-LEVI!” He was blocking the entrance and I would sure as hell fight the bastard if I needed to, but I was avoiding it. I didn’t want Eren to get hurt.

I saw an emergency exit and ran into it with my shoulder. The buzzer sounded, but we were out onto the street.

“KEEP RUNNING! Don’t stop!” We sure as hell couldn’t run home. The crazy son of a bitch would probably follow us there. “The studio! It’s got double locks!” We took a left turn and I got a glance of him running behind us.

“LEVI-C-can’t ….Can’t breathe…” I felt him jerk, but he struggled to keep running. FUCK. The rain was pouring down around us as we ran. We were already soaked.

“GET THE FUCK BACK HERE EREN!!!”

“NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!” He screamed it desperately and I could hear his words fading in and out. All of his oxygen was leaving his lungs. His knees buckled, he hit the pavement and I yanked him up into my arms without a single thought. It slowed me down a little, but I sure as hell wasn’t stopping. No way in hell. Sobs tore through him as I ran and I heard footsteps splashing in the puddles. Mine and his. I just had to go faster. I pushed on, gripping Eren tighter in my arms. Hopefully he could pull himself together right now. All I could focus on was protecting him. That and running.

“LEVI!” A car pulled up and the passenger door flew open. I dove inside with Eren in my arms and shut it behind me, locking it immediately. Sure it was awkward with both of us crammed in the front seat but we were safe. My Eren was safe. My fucking world was in my arms and safe. We sped off and Eren was gasping for breath. He couldn’t find one, and when he managed to, he used it to produce a terrified scream or a sob.

“Fuck. Erwin, thank you. You showed up just in time.”

“Where to?”

“Home. I don’t think he can follow us now.” He nodded and kept driving. I adjusted Eren in my arms and started pressing kisses to his face.

“Babe. It’s going to be okay.”

“L…Lee….”

“Shhhhhh.” I ran my fingers through his soaked hair and he whimpered and jerked. We pulled into the driveway and Erwin got out to help us. He opened the door for us and I carried my sobbing boyfriend inside.

“L-Levi.” He choked and I pulled off his shoes and tossed them by the door then kicked off my own.

“Calm down, Eren. Everything is going to be alright.”

“Do you want me to hang out Levi?” Erwin said as he shut the door behind him. Eren whimpered in my arms and struggled to get closer to me.

“Ugh… well….” His tears were soaking my shirt and he was having trouble even taking a single breathe. I was scared. Not only for his safety and health, but my own. “Yeah…if you don’t have anywhere to be. Maybe hang out down here? Just kind of keep an eye on the house? You never know.”

“Sure thing! If you need me I’ll be down here.”

“Thanks.” His body was weighing down my arms, straining my shoulders and I couldn’t help but sigh as I carried him up the stairs.

“L…vi…” I gently sat him down on the bed and began stripping off his soaked clothes. Hoodie, shirt, jeans, underwear. I tossed everything into the hamper and grabbed a towel and the first aid kit. I dried him gently, caressing each limb as I ran the cotton over it.

“Eren, breathe. In. Out.”

“Coming. For.” Another gasp. More tears. He grabbed at my arm and shivered. “Me.”

“No he’s not. I won’t let him touch you, babe. And neither will Erwin. He’s still downstairs. You are safe. He choked on his tears and I wiped them off his blotchy cheeks. I gently pushed his hands away and kept drying him. All he needed was a fucking cold on top of all this. I dried the rest of his body and ruffled his hair with the towel. His knees were scraped up from the fall, so I bandaged them up pretty quick, before covering him up.

“Le-Levi.” His hands were grasping desperately onto my arm again, eyes begging me. “S-Sorry. So Sorry. P-Please. Please don’t leave. Please.” Tears were practically pouring and any breath that he was taking was turned into a ragged cry.

“Eren, just-“

“I-I’m sorry.” I was just trying to explain I needed to get my own wet clothes off, but he was trying to gulp for air to beg. “I-I know I’ve b-been awful. I-I-“ He let out a frantic sob. “I was upset about you d-drinking in LA, b-but-“ He let go of my arm and started scratching at his own, nearly drawing blood. I caught his hands and leaned over him, joining our lips together. It was just a simple kiss, but maybe…just maybe it would be enough to draw him down out of this frantic state of mind. His hands traveled back to me, pawing at my arms and I gladly took his hands in mine. I gently parted my lips from his, but left my forehead resting against his. Tears were still flowing down his face, and it was red and blotchy, but he was trying to steady his breathing. “P-please. Don’t leave me, Levi…”

“Eren, I’m not going anywhere. I promise. Just try and take a few deep breaths. In.” He took a shaky breath in and held it for a second or two. “Out.” I stepped back and took my wet shirt off and slung it into the floor by the bed. “One more.” My pants and underwear were next, joining my shirt in a pile. I grabbed the towel I used on Eren and dried myself off before grabbing a pair of underwear. I walked over to the steps. “HEY, ERWIN.”

“YEAH?!”

“Can you bring a glass of water up?”

“Sure!” I walked back over to Eren and he was frowning.

“See, I’m not even walking away to go downstairs.” I ran my fingers through his matted wet hair and he nodded, taking another breath. This one was more even thankfully. I head Erwin’s heavy footsteps coming up the stairs, followed by the all too familiar sound of a pitter patter and a jingling bell.

“Meeeeow.” I took the glass and set it on the nightstand.

“I fed her a few minutes ago, but I guess she wanted to see you.”

“Hello, little girl.”

“Meeeew.” She rubbed against my legs and smacked at the comforter.

“What? Want to see Papa Eren?”

“Meeew Meeeeeew.” I smiled and picked her up, before sitting her down on top of the covers. Eren sniffled as she walked over to him.

“She’s never come upstairs before.”

“Today must be special.” I nodded and reach Eren the glass of water and his medication, then took my own. “I’ll be downstairs. I’m going to camp out on the couch. Night guys!”

“Night, Erwin.” As I turned around, I saw that Eren was turned on his side, petting a purring Kirara. A smile crept over my lips, and a small amount of relief washed over me. I climbed into bed beside of Eren and wrapped my arms right around him.

“How you feeling?”

“A little better.” He turned away from Kirara and rolled over in my arms, pushing his face into my chest. Tears started again, but he tried to keep them calm this time. “I…I just want to be happy…” I pulled him closer and wrapped him tighter in the blankets, pretty much making a cocoon around us.

“I know. It was just a coincidence. We won’t ever go back there.” I found his hand in the nest of blankets and tangled limbs.

“I just wanted us both to have a nice evening out…I screwed everything up…fuck….” I kissed his forehead and shook my head.

“That’s not true. You had no way of knowing! I had a great time, besides that. Didn’t you?” He nodded and sank closer to me.

“I just… I feel so guilty…I got upset with you earlier and here you are again being so damn perfect. Saving me and comforting me…” His tears were running in a stream down my chest and I was holding him as close as I possibly could. I just wanted to shake him. To tell him that it didn’t fucking matter. That he was human. He deserved an opinion. He deserved emotions. He fucking deserved the right to stand up.

“W….what?” Oh….

“I…I said that out loud?”

“Yeah…”

“Well…then it’s off my chest. You deserve that Eren. You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be able to voice your opinion without fearing negative repercussions from me. Sure we may have a fight here and there, but what do you expect from a brat and a dork, right?” He nodded and nuzzled my neck, with a light hearted smile. I chuckled and ruffled the messy mop of hair.

“So, just relax. I’m here for you. Always.” A kiss to the forehead. A hug around his midsection.

“I’m so scared Levi…scared he’s going to mess everything up. He’s taken everything away from me already. Everything I’ve loved. He tried to crush me. I’m so terrified he’s going to hurt us…hurt you…you mean everything to me and I’d be so fucking lost without you. I couldn’t go on without…w-without you…” Another sob ripped through him and all I could do was whisper to him as he cried.

“I won’t let that happen. Some asshole isn’t going to tear us apart. Not while I have the strength to fight.” A cry ripped through him and he gripped onto my side. “ I WILL fight for us, Eren. I’ll fight for you until I can’t take another breath, do you understand me?” Another desperate nod.

“I-I don’t want-“

“I know you don’t, but if that’s what it takes, then I’ll fight. You are mine. We haven’t fought this hard to let him rip everything we have into pieces. I love you too much for that.” I tilted his chin upwards and though his tears were still running down his cheeks, I saw his lips turn up in a little bit of a smile.

“O…okay, Levi…I will try to fight hard too. I just get so scared…”

“Just stay strong. That’s all I want is for you to be strong and healthy. You can win this, Eren. We can both win.” He smiled up at me and nodded and I brought our lips together, sealing the promise of protection with a kiss.

“Okay…W-what about school tomorrow?”

“I’ll call your principle and have a chat with him. I think one more day home isn’t going to hurt anything, is it?” Eren shook his head and agreed.

“Now, try to dry those tears okay?” He sniffled again and nodded before sinking his head back down against my chest. “Everything is going to be alright, so there is no reason to cry. I’m going to protect you and I love you more than words can ever express.” He wiped his eyes and smiled up at me.

“I love you too, Levi.” After one final kiss, I shut the lamp off and the room was bathed in the soft blue light.

“Try to get some rest babe. I’ll be right here if you need me. Okay?”

“Kay.”

“Sweet dreams, Eren.”

“You too, Levi…” I didn’t shut my eyes, but Eren shut his and I felt him relax against me, muscles going loose and pure exhaustion both physical and emotional taking over. Soft snores drifted through the room and I kissed the top of his head once again.

“I promise one day, everything will be better for us. We’ll have a day full of smiles and laughter. A day where we can just sit down and enjoy one another and not worry about anything or anyone. I fucking promise you that Eren.”


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Award Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, another apology. I had a HUGE presentation that I've literallly been working on for the last week or so. It took me forever T.T Anyways, sorry for the delay!!!
> 
> I dedicate this chapter to [Kiri_Natsumi_Tetsuya](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiri_Natsumi_Tetsuya/pseuds/Kiri_Natsumi_Tetsuya) Since their birthday is Monday! ;) Happy Birthday :D
> 
> Comments are always appreciated <333

A whimper? No…surely it wasn’t… I flipped the page and rubbed Eren’s shoulder softly and he sighed against me and settled back against my chest. I flipped the page of my book and looked over to him. The first rays of the morning light were coming through the windows. Golds, reds, pinks, mixing together with the vibrant blue of his nightlight. They all swirled together, bathing him in a purple light, but it was enough for me to see the distraught expression on his face. The way his brow was furrowed. The frown on his lips. Another whimper. This one was louder and he wiggled against me, pushing back away from me a little.

“Eren…shhhh…You’re okay. It’s me. It’s just Levi here.” I combed my fingers through his messy mop of hair, but hopefully my touch was enough to break him from the nightmare, but not enough to break him from his sleep. He was exhausted and God knows he needed to catch up on his rest. Truthfully I needed to rest, but I was too busy watching over him all night, nudging him back into a peaceful rest every time that pout would appear. No nightmares would take him tonight if I could help it. And we had nearly made it through too. The sun was almost completely up. Sure I was tired as hell, but if it meant he had a peaceful night’s sleep, I would be fine with chugging coffee all day. A sigh of relief came from him and his features relaxed, nudging back against my shoulder and neck. I was more than happy to oblige and create that safe haven for him. Soft breathing started again and my eyes returned to my page.

I heard soft footsteps downstairs and then Kirara stood up beside of Eren and stretched before shooting me a look. Erwin must me up. She jumped off of the bed with a jingle of her bell and darted down the stairs for breakfast. Surely Erwin would take care of it. He was so dependable at times like these, and I couldn’t hope for better friends. My phone started to ring and I mentally cursed myself for not setting it on silent. Shit, shit, shit. Eren groaned and looked up at me with sleepy eyes.

“Levi…” I looked down at the caller ID. Mikasa?

“It’s your sister. Why is she-“

“Answer it!” He was on edge immediately and practically grabbing at the phone. I answered it and put it on speaker.

“Hello?”

“WHERE IS HE?!” He shot me a look and shook his head. He mouthed _don’t tell her_ and I sighed. “He’s right here beside me.

“WHY? Why isn’t he in school today?”

“Ugh…he’s not having a good day.”

“So you decided to let him stay home? That’s no fucking reason to let him skip you know! You need to be more responsible if he’s going to live with you. You can’t just let him do that. Eren is hard headed sometimes. He’s still just a kid. Be tougher with him. Seriously!” The line went out and I sighed.

“I guess your dad didn’t say anything to her then…”

“Levi…” Eren was frowning and I gave him a hug.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I can deal with the heat from your sister. I know she’s also got a lot on her plate right now.” Eren nodded and rested his head back against me.

“I just don’t want her worrying… especially about me being in a bar. And about dad. Just about everything.”

“Even though we were having milkshakes?” I joked. Eren grinned and nodded.

“She would never believe that my bad ass looking boyfriend that has piercings and that wears black all the time took me to the bar to get a milkshake.” I smirked and kissed his forehead.

“I guess I’m an odd one, huh?” Eren threw his arm over me and pulled himself closer.

“I don’t mind it. I’m odd too. We are pretty good for each other I’d say.”

“I hope you think that, brat.” I chuckled and ran my fingers through his hair, catching a knot.

“OUCH!”

“Your hair needs combed. You have bed head.”

“So do you!” He grinned at me. “Wait…Levi you look really tired…did you sleep okay?”

“I ugh…well…”

“Do I hear people that want COFFEE?!!” Erwin said as he appeared up the stairs with a tray.

“YES.” I sat my book aside, along with my phone and sat up. I made sure the sleepy Eren was still covered with the blanket as I took my cup of coffee. He leaned against me as he accepted his cup and ducked back against my side. “What? It’s just Erwin. Not like he hasn’t seen other guys without their shirts.” He shoved his face against me, nearly spilling his own coffee. I grinned at his embarrassment, but let him sink lower. How red would his face get if the blanket fell a little lower, I wonder? “Bagels too?” I snatched one off the tray and bit into it. Eren perked up and looked towards the tray. “Want one?” He nodded and I pushed one towards his mouth. “Thanks Erwin!”

“No problem! If you two are okay, I’m going to head out. I fed Kirara and put the pillows and blankets away downstairs. Levi, if you need anything, call me. I don’t care to leave class, okay?”

“Will do.” I set my cup aside and after making sure Eren was covered, I followed Erwin downstairs so I could lock the door behind him.

“So how is he?”

“He’s…he was pretty upset last night. I’m not sure about today. I’m not going to bring it up if he doesn’t want to talk about it.” Erwin nodded.

“What about you? You look like shit.” I sighed and leaned against the door frame, looking down at my pale legs.

“I didn’t sleep much…well…at all…” I heard footsteps behind me and turned around to see Eren standing behind me. He’d thrown on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt.

“You…you didn’t sleep?” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Shit. I closed my eyes and bumped my head against the doorframe.

“I’ll let you get going Erwin. Thanks again.”

“Thank you Erwin.” Eren stepped forward hesitantly and reach out a shaky hand. Erwin just smirked and pulled him into a hug.

“No problem. Anytime. You are practically family now. See you guys later!” I shut and locked the door behind him and turned to see a pouting Eren.

“Why couldn’t you sleep? Were you worried? You could have woken me up and-“ I silenced him by pressing my lips against his.

“Shhhh. Too early for that many questions. Let’s go brush our teeth.” I took his hand and led him upstairs.

“Levi, you are still in your underwear…”

“Got a problem with seeing my ass?” I looked back at him as we climbed the stairs and smirked. He blushed and shook his head.

“N-No!”

“Good.” We brushed our teeth together and as Eren began tackling his knotted mane with a frown, I started the shower.

“Levi…I can’t get the knots out.” I walked back over to him and grimaced at the mess.

“It’s probably where it got wet from the rain last night and then you slept on it without combing it.” He frowned at me in the mirror and I tugged him towards the shower. “I’ll fix it. Don’t worry. Just strip.” He started pulling off his shirt and pants as I stripped off my underwear and grabbed the comb. We hopped in the shower and as soon as the hot water hit us, I turned him under the water and soaked his hair. “Fuck…why are you so damn tall…” His face went red and he looked to the side.

“S-sorry.” He leaned over a bit and we bumped heads. “Oof.” His face went blood red and he backed up, successfully jamming his leg into the faucet. “OW!”

“HAHA EREN!” I set the comb on the edge of the tub then I wrapped my hands around his waist and pulled him close. I was grinning as I watched his face go from red to a dark maroon. “It’s just me. There’s no need to be embarrassed, remember?”

“There is if I’m making a fool out of myself!”

“Everyone has clumsy moments.” I tilted his head down and kissed his forehead. “Even my brat. You’re so cute.” He smiled as I moved my fingers against his skin, and I reach behind him and popped open the conditioner. I poured out quite a bit and worked it into his hair, soaking it into the knots. “Just let it sit for a while.”

“Okay…” He relaxed against me further and I reach down for his hand, trailing my fingers over his collarbone, down his shoulder-shit….my heart thumped as I reach his arm. Scratches. There were fucking scratches and scrapes all along his forearms. Sure I remembered him frantically doing it last night, but I didn’t think he’d done this kind of damage. Not with his nails. He looked at me and his smile turned to a frown. “You…are you mad at me?” My eyes shot up to his as I gently held his wrists.

“What? No…I just…” His eyes shot to the floor of the shower and I sighed. “Eren, look at me. I don’t want to see you hurt. By anyone. That includes yourself. I want you to be healthy and happy. Okay?” I could see the worry in his eyes and I let go of his wrists and immediately pulled him back to me by his waist. “You are my one and only, Jaeger. I can’t have my boyfriend being unhappy or hurting, can I?” I felt the smile turn onto his lips and he nodded.

“No, you can’t.”

“And it’s my job to see that you are happy, So. Step one. Get those damn knots out.” He chuckled and grinned at me.

“Levi…can we just stay like this for a little longer?” He pushed his face back down towards my neck and I pulled him close again.

“Sure.” One arm was around his waist as the other rubbed circles along his back and shoulder. Breathing. He was just breathing against me as the water poured around us. Our skin was wet and he was pressed so close, but truthfully, the only thing that was on my mind was Eren’s wellbeing. I just wanted him to be alright. I wanted him to feel safe.

“I love you, Levi.” I blinked a couple of times at the sudden confession and pressed my hand to the back of his neck, bringing his lips straight down to mine. A quick lick across his bottom lip was enough for him to let me kiss him deeper. Deep, but oh so gentle. Tongue against tongue. Exploring, caressing, tasting. “Mhmm..” He let out a small moan and I broke the kiss.

“I love you too.” I ran my thumb over his cheek and he smiled softly.

“Levi…you really do look tired…why didn’t you sleep?” I sighed and kissed his cheek.

“Turn around. I’ll tell you as I work out those knots, okay?” He turned around and I worked a little more conditioner onto his hair before picking up the comb. I started picking and working at the tangles, holding at the base of his hair so I wouldn’t pull his hair too hard.

“I wanted to make sure you weren’t having any nightmares…” he stayed silent as I worked the tangles. I broke one free and combed the hair completely out. I sighed and spoke up again. “So I stayed up and every time you started to have one, I would talk to you and sort of…”

“Send me back into a good dream.”

“What?”

“I dreamt about you last night, Levi…” I smiled and picked at a new knot. This one easily broke loose and I combed the hair straight.

“Did you?”

“Yeah….It was just in and out though…but I kept dreaming of you. Different situations.”

“Any dirty dreams?”

“LEVI!!!” I snickered as I worked the last knot loose and then rinsed his hair. I washed it regularly and we both took a pretty quick shower. Standing in the steam and water was making me more tired. I just wanted to sit. No sleep was starting to wear on me.

We dried off and threw on some clothes. Eren put on another pair of pajama pants and a long sleeve shirt, while I stuck with a t-shirt and lounge pants. Eren grabbed the dishes from the bedroom and I followed him downstairs.

“Sit down, Levi. I’ll make you some tea.” I yawned and sat on the couch, flipping the TV onto the DVD option. We had started Toradora a few days ago, from Eren’s birthday stash and it was still in the player. I looked to the corner.

“HOLY SHIT.”

“What?!” Eren rushed in and stood at my side.

“Erwin put the bookcase together this morning.” Eren started laughing and kissed me on top of my head.

“I’ll be sure to get him a thank you note. What are we going to do if we move away, Levi? We need to learn how to do that kind of stuff without him. The teapot started whistling and I heard Eren’s footsteps runoff.

“MEEEEOW.” Kirara jingled in from of me, rubbing against my legs.

“Mhmm. Hello little girl. Did Erwin give you a full belly?”

“RAAAAAWR.”

“Woah. From the sound of that I guess so.” I scratched behind her ear and she hopped up on the couch next to me.

“HOT HOT!” Eren sat the two steaming mugs down on the table and sat down on the other side of me.

“Yes you are. OH, you meant the tea.” He snorted and shook his head.

“You are such a dork.”

“Brat.” He leaned over and pressed his forehead against mine.

“I’m YOUR brat.”

“You better only be MY brat.” I grinned and pulled him closer. “If I catch anyone else’s hands on you, they are dead.” He smiled.

“Erwin gave me a hug earlier.”

“That’s different. Erwin is our friend. That’d be the same as Armin hugging me.”

“True.” He brushed his lips against mine and grey met brilliant turquoise.

“I love your eyes, you know.” He blinked a couple of times and I could see his cheeks turning pink.

“You’ve told me before.” I grinned and pressed a kiss next to each eye.

“Well I mean it. They are stunningly beautiful. They literally take my breath away every time I look at you, no matter how many times I stare into them, I’m always amazed. Sea-glass green. Well no…more of a turquoise…It really depends on the lighting….” He was grinning from ear to ear and I smiled right back at him. “You are fucking gorgeous, Eren.” I reach for my tea and he hugged me, nearly spilling it everywhere.

“Fuck….thank you Levi…just…thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, babe.” I kissed his head and wiped the drops of excess tea off of my mug. He took a drink of his own tea and we both looked over to the door as the mail slid through the slot. I yawned and stretched a little before Eren stood up and wandered over to the door to grab the pile.

“A package!” He reach it to me and I set my mug aside as I ripped open the tab.

“Oh, it’s the screen tones I ordered.” I pulled them out to look them over briefly before sliding them back in the envelope. “I can keep working on the manga.”

“Awesome! The rest is bills.” He tossed the mail on the table and I yawned again. Eren walked towards the closet and I heard him open it up. He pulled out our blankets and a couple more pillows. “Levi, you need to sleep. I’ll be awake, so you can rest. Okay?” I looked up at him as I downed the rest of my tea. Sleep sounded fucking awesome right now.

“Okay. You’ve convinced me.” Kirara jumped off of the couch and ran off to do her own thing as I stretched out. Eren threw a blanket over me and joined me at the end of the couch. He put a pillow in his lap and let me rest my head there, one hand immediately going to my hair to stroke it softly. He pulled the blanket up a little higher over my shoulders and I snuggled closer to his thigh. “I’m going to miss Toradora…”

“I’ll re-watch it with you later. Just rest.” I felt his fingers glide through my hair and that was it. My eye lids fluttered closed and I drifted off.

_Trees. There were trees? We were flying? No. That sound. Grinding wires, gears pulling. It had to be maneuver gear. My heart was pounding. I looked down and sure enough, the ground below me was zooming by. I looked to the right and Eren was there. He had a serious expression on his face, but as soon as he noticed me staring, our eyes locked. Everything was moving in slow motion. He flashed one of his brilliant smiles at me and motioned ahead._

_“We can do it, Captain! We can escape! Just a little further. I trust the Survey Corps! I trust you!” My heart thumped again. NO. No. No. Surely this can’t be- Right before I could finish the thought I heard the titan’s footsteps behind us. The female titan was approaching and I turned to look. Hanji and Erwin zoomed into my line of vison to distract her just as we reach the thicker part of the forest. I heard the explosion of cannons and I knew she’d been captured. We kept going. Kept running, until Eren was safely away from the monster titan._

_  
“See! I knew the Commander would have something up his sleeve!” We perched together in the top of a tree, but we were still unable to see what was happening. We’d just have to await the smoke signal._

_“Well haven’t you gained trust all of a sudden for the Survey Corps, brat? Last time I checked, you wanted to do everything on your own.” I crossed my arms and watched his face turn red._

_“I’ve always trusted you Captain. That’s why…at times like those…I just hate to see anyone die. I’d hate to see you die.” He looked up at me with those eyes and my heart sunk._

_“Well I don’t want anything to happen to you either, Jaeger.” A breeze blew through the tree tops and blew our cloaks with it, fluttering in the wind. “I care about you.” I took a step forward and pressed him up against the tree. “I love you.” His face went red as I wrapped my arms around him. My heart was pounding. Eren was safe. We were both safe._

_“I-I love you too, Captain.” I brought my lips to his and the world started spinning. Blurring at the edges. Falling apart._

“Levi? Levi.”

“Hmm.”

“You were talking in your sleep.” My eyes popped open and I stared up at Eren. My face went immediately red.

“I-I UGH. I-“ He ruffled my hair and smiled.

“It was cute. Plus it’s pretty late. You’ve been asleep for a while. We should probably try to make it to work tonight.”

“Fuck…you are right. I forgot about work.” I sat up and stretched. Eren did the same, wiggling his legs around. “Alright, since you are the responsible one you can carry me upstairs and dress me. Force me to go to work because I really don’t feel like it.”

“Levi!” I laughed and Eren grinned.

“Alright, alright. I’m going.”

 

 

Eren’s POV

“UGH, it’s hot.” I complained as I walked hand in hand with Levi to Anteiku.

“I think the weather is great.” We had gotten an unusually hot day out of nowhere.

“You are wearing short sleeves.” I pouted at him and he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pressed a kiss to my lips.

“I’m sorry…” He looked at my arm with a frown and I sighed. I hated this. If I hadn’t fucked up…If I hadn’t scratched my arms to pieces last night because I felt like the world was shattering, maybe I could enjoy the nice weather too. But no. Here I was, walking with a long sleeve shirt. “The air conditioning should be on at Anteiku at least.” I frowned and nodded. “Don’t think on it too much, Eren. Really.” His fingers were running along my cheek and were soon replaced by soft lips. “They’ll heal up soon. Just a few scratches. No big deal.” Reassuring. Levi was always trying to reassure me. Always trying to push me ahead. Push me forward. I felt tears sting my eyes and I nodded. Fuck. Where would I be if I hadn’t met him? “Eren?” I gave his hand a squeeze and took a step forward.

“We’ll be late! Come on slow poke!”

 

“EREN! LEVI!” Isabel hugged us both as we walked through the door and immediately ran off again.

“What’s up with her?” Levi asked Farlan as we walked to the time clock.

“She probably ran to the bathroom. She’s not feeling well today.” Sure enough we heard the bathroom door slam and Levi shuddered. That’s when I realized. The air conditioning wasn’t on. Farlan had his sleeves rolled up, and Jean was wearing a t-shirt. The front door was propped open and a few windows were open, but it was still hot inside. Shit.

“Kind of hot in here, don’t you think Farlan?”

“Well Isabel is having cold chills…”

“So no air conditioning?” I could hear the sigh in Levi’s voice as I clocked in.

“Nope. Sorry. She can’t be normal and put on a sweater on.” Levi shook his head. I took my position behind the coffee bar and tied my apron around my waist.

 

An hour into the shift and I was sure I was dying. I had beads of sweat rolling down my face just from standing beside the coffee pots and sink. Levi had walked over to check on me and brought me a bottle of water from the back.

“Drink it.” I cracked the lid and gave him a pitiful look. “You look bad.”

“What’s wrong with Eren cutie!” Isabel didn’t look so great herself but she sat down at the bar with her own bottle of water and stared at me. “Oh wow. You look too hot. Go grab a t-shirt from the rack and change. That long sleeve is way too thick for this weather!” My heart thumped and I shot Levi a terrified look.

“Just…just go change.” He really did look concerned and my fist tightened as my anxiety started to build. What would the others say?

“Levi?”

“Eren, I don’t want you overheating.” Fuck. I moved from behind the counter and he followed me to the merchandise side. “I really am worried. You’ve been sweating a lot. Your face is red.”

“Levi…what am I going to say if they ask me about them?” I grabbed an Ouran t-shirt off of the shelf.

“Just tell them it’s none of their business Eren. Seriously. If they won’t leave you alone, I’ll tell them off. I’ll be right there.” I nodded and started walking towards the bathroom, but Levi grabbed my hand. “You know I wouldn’t ask you too if I really didn’t care, right?” I could see the hurt in his eyes and the concern. He really didn’t want me to be upset and I could tell.

“I know. I know you always look out for me, Levi.” I gave his hand a squeeze and showed him a half-smile. “Other people just aren’t always as understanding as you.” I let his hand go before disappearing into the bathroom to change.

“SEE! Much better Eren! You’ll be a lot cooler in that! Oh-“ Isabel’s eyes dropped to my arms instantly, just like I knew they fucking would and my stomach sank. My chest tightened. I went to reach for the collar of the shirt, but something wrapped around my fingers. I looked over to see Levi standing beside me, fingers intertwining in my own.

“He looks pretty damn good in that, doesn’t he?” I felt like an idiot because I grabbed a shirt size smaller than what I usually wear. It was a little tight, but it fit okay. Wait…Levi was holding my hand in front of everyone at work?! On the clock?! SHIT. Shit, shit, shit.

“HA. Yes he does Levi. Your own little model.” Wait. Was he…drawing the attention away? I felt the air seeping back into my lungs and I could breathe. “The eyes are the best part though!”

“I agree too. Well, the best clothed part anyway. Hmm.”

“LEVI!” He chuckled low and his other hand found my lower back, ushering me back behind the coffee bar.

“Back to work for the sexy brat. Come on Isabel, let’s go fold the shirts.”

“Okay!” As she turned, Levi winked at me and I swear my heart skipped a beat. He truly was my prince. Always coming up with a plan. Always thinking ahead. He would always take care of me. I saw Jean glance down, but he didn’t say anything. He kept comments to himself, and I know he didn’t want to trigger a panic attack. Besides, a certain freckled brunette had just walked through the door.

“Vanilla latte?” Jean asked with a grin.

“Make it a caramel iced coffee today. Too hot for a latte, Jean.” Marco beamed at him and Jean blushed. I looked over into the other side of the store as Levi was showing Isabel how to properly fold a shirt. Farlan leaned up against the counter.

“He’s a good guy.” I looked up to him and smiled as I wiped the counter. “Levi. Levi is a really good guy. He’s responsible. He takes care of you. He really cares about you.” I felt my face getting red, but I agreed.

“Yeah. He’s a really good guy. I’m lucky.” Farlan smiled and looked back at me.

“You aren’t so bad yourself, Eren. A hard worker. Even smiling when the situation gets rough. You are responsible too. Always on time.” I smiled at Farlan.

“Thanks. I appreciate that Farlan.” He nodded and turned back to them.

“Like this?!” I watched as Isabel held the finished shirt in front of Levi and he nodded.

“Yeah. Good job.”

“I DID IT ANIKI!” Levi smiled and shook his head.

“What?”

“Brother! You are just like the brother I never had!” She threw the shirt on the counter and gave him a hug. “So you will be my Aniki!”

“Alright.” He hugged the redhead back as he held onto his own now wrinkled shirt.

“I’m so glad we are friends now. Everyone here at Anteiku. We are all like a big family! I can’t wait for the convention next weekend! OH! That reminds me! I have something for you and Eren before you leave tonight. Everyone else has gotten their present, but I forgot to give you guys yours!” Levi grinned and returned to his shirt.

“Thanks Isabel.”

 

“Goodnight Eren! Goodnight Aniki!”

“Night Isabel!” We waved to her together as we carried our bags in one hand, and held each other’s hand in another.

As it turned out, Isabel had been looking at the event list for the convention and had entered us in one of the contests together on Sunday. We’d be singing together. Freaking Singing. That’s when she handed us the cosplays. I opened mine to find a blonde wig, glasses, and a dress shirt.

Let’s just say Levi was more than surprised when he found a fluorescent yellow jacket and a skimpy black shirt and shorts in his bag. Let’s not forget the bright pink wig.

“I can’t believe she entered us in that contest.” Levi said as he swung our hands.

“I can’t imagine how your ass and legs are going to look in those shorts.” He nudged me with his elbow.

“Why did she pick Gravitation?!” He said as he looked in his bag again.

“Well I had a talk with her one night about how it was one of my favorites…”

“It’s one of mine too, but that doesn’t mean I want to dress up as fucking Shuichi…I don’t have the legs for that. Let alone the tan. That’s you Jaeger!”

“HEY! You are the one that can sing! Not me!”

“You can sing, Eren.” He chuckled and motioned towards the park.

“Can we go in for a little bit? I know we usually go straight home…but it’s all lit up.” I took his hand and led him inside. The fountain was changing colors and we were the only ones around to enjoy it.

“So what song do you want to do?”

“Into the Moonlight is my favorite, but we’ll be together so it doesn’t really seem to fit.”

“It’s mine too.” I gave his hand a squeeze before he pulled me closer. “I agree about us being together though. How about Fake Star?” I nodded and looked from him to the colored fountain.

“I like that one. I wonder if I’ll be able to get it down in a week.”

“You’ll do fine. Here.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pulled up the video with lyrics on youtube. “Let’s have our first practice.”

“Here?!”

“Why not? The stars aren’t going to laugh at you. I’m certainly not going to.” He rubbed my lower back and I agreed. He hit the play button and I tried to follow along. Levi knew the song well and I could tell that for a fact. He must have it on his playlist.  


_Yozora ni yuki ga mau kogoesou na shiro no sekai_

_ima no ore no kokoro kasanariau_

“Kanaa-nariroo. BLAH.” He paused the video and corrected me.

“Kasanariau.” I frowned and looked at Levi. He sounded so natural.

“You sound so…ugh…like you know everything. Why am I awful?”

“You’ll get it. I’m slowly learning Japanese. I didn’t tell you?” I looked up at him in awe.

“NO! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!” He shrugged.

“June thought it’d be a good idea, so they are paying for my lessons. In case I ever have a business meeting or something.” I just shook my head.

“WHEN? HOW?!”

“Calm down!” He was grinning. “You are fangirling Eren.

“My boyfriend is SO COOL!”

“I’m taking the lessons online right now. I haven’t gotten that far. Just the basics really.”

“SAY SOMETHING TO ME.”

“Watashi no namae wa Levi desu.”

“LEVIIIIIII.” I hugged him and he snickered.

“Okay. We’ll learn the song later. You are being too adorable right now, brat.” I looked down at him and just grinned. “You look pretty great with the stars behind you like that you know.” I smiled and leaned down to kiss him. He tasted sweet. Almost sweeter than usual. Maybe it was my devotion to him? Maybe it was the way he took the focus off of me earlier? Either way, I was head over heels for him and nothing was going to quench the thirst that was Levi.

“I want to see what they look like behind you!” He gave me an odd look before I grabbed him around the hips and lifted him up.

“OI! EREN!” I giggled and looked up at him as he just gazed around for a minute before looking down at me. He wasn’t struggling in my arms, and he wasn’t the least bit heavy. I could tell he really trusted me.

“You look perfect with the stars behind you.” He was giving me this look, one that I couldn’t really recognize, and one arm wrapped around my neck, while his other hand caressed my cheek.

“Jaeger….just when I think I can’t possibly fall any further for you, you go and pull something like this. Do you really know how much of my heart you have?” My smile softened as he rubbed my cheek and I nodded.

“As much as you have of mine, Levi…” I could feel his pulse pounding, heart racing against his chest.

“Be careful with it, okay? I’ve only got one heart to give. If I kiss you right now, you are going to get the last fucking piece of it I think.” He smiled before pressing our lips together. It was a sweet kiss at first, then it turned deep, wanting. Tongues danced, chests heaved. A small moan escaped from Levi. He licked at my lip and god did I want more. But not here. He tugged at my shirt. Holy shit.

“L-Levi?” He wiggled free of my arms and pushed me up a near-by tree, continuing to ravage my mouth with his, and then moving to my neck. I let out a moan and tensed as he found my collarbone. That was the moment a flashlight was shined over to us.

“HEY! The park is closing, time to-” That voice… Levi moved off of me a little, but just slightly. He was in protective mode now. That’s when the ranger stepped into view.

“FUCKING ERWIN?!”

“LEVI?! What the hell are you doing out here at this time of night?! The park is about to close.” His hand was latched onto mine and I could feel my face burning. FUCK. Erwin looked us over and grinned. “OH. I KNOW just what you were about to do. You can go home and do that.” I whimpered and gave his hand a squeeze.

“You are a fucking cock block, eyebrows.”

“This is a PUBLIC park!” Erwin prodded Levi in the back as we walked out.

“Oh come on! Don’t tell me you haven’t done it in public before.” My face had to have been a tomato by now. No way. NO FUCKING WAY this was happening?! Were we really going to have sex outside in the park? I gave Levi a timid look as we waved to Erwin. “Well anyways we’ll see you tomorrow for the awards, right?”

“Sure thing! See you then! Night guys!”

 

Levi’s POV

Eventually Friday rolled around and Eren tapped his foot nervously as we rode to the awards ceremony. He looked delicious, and to be quite honest…they could mail him the damn award and I’d be perfectly fine with rewarding him all on my own.

He was wearing the grey and white striped sweater, as it was a rather cool night, along with a pair of jeans and an SNK necklace he’d found buried in the bottom of the box Isabel had given him.

“Do…Do you think this outfit is okay, Levi?”

“It’s too late to change now.” He frowned and adjusted his sleeves. “But yes, I think you look damn sexy, Jaeger. I’m half tempted to tell Erwin to turn to car around so I can have my way with you.” His face turned nearly 50 shades of red at once.

“LEVI!!!!”

“You are the one who asked.”

“He’s right, Eren!” Hanji said with a thumbs up from the front seat.

“Come on guys. I don’t want to hear about your sex-life.” Erwin groaned.

“You’re just jealous because you don’t have one, park ranger!” Hanji said with a shrill laugh.

“Says who?!”

“Oh so eyebrows DOES have a girlfriend?!”

“Maybe I do?!” He grinned and kept driving.

We arrived at the school and I took Eren’s hand in mine after I opened the car door for him. We walked side by side towards the auditorium, brushing against each other occasionally. We got programs handed to us as we went through the main doors. Eren’s phone began ringing.

“Turn it on silent.” I suggested as I looked over at him.

“It’s Mikasa. She should be here already. Hello? WHAT?!” He looked petrified. “L-leave after I’ve got mine. Got it. Thanks. Bye.” He turned his phone on silent and leaned up against the wall. “Dad…Dad’s here….can we just go?”

“You are getting that fucking award, Eren. Don’t let that asshole run you off.” I heard a teacher clear her throat behind me. “Sorry… Don’t let that fucker run you off.”   


“SIR!” I grinned and Eren just shook his head and a small smile crept over his lips.

“Well just leave right after you get it. Trust us. We’ll protect you. Okay?” He nodded.

“I’ll even sit up near the stage if you want?” Erwin suggested. “That way you’ve got someone on all sides.

“I’ll go by the inner aisle!” Hanji said with a smile.

 

Eren’s POV

 

“Alright, alright. Let’s go.” I gripped his hand and gave it a squeeze as we walked through the doors. We immediately split as we walked through the doors. Hanji went to the center aisle and Erwin went right up front, just as he promised. I sat near the back with Levi. My heart was pounding, but Levi’s hand wrapped around mine was working wonders to help calm me.

“Alright, let’s start with the English department!” My English teacher was holding a small stack of papers, as she stood in front of the microphone. “For top honors in English, and excelling in the AP English class, I award Armin Arlert.” I clapped as the peppy blonde ran to the stairs, he nearly tripped, but he regained his balance. Armin was never good with standing in front of audiences. He was so excited he completely missed the last step on the way down the stairs and I saw Erwin walk over to him. At least he had a friend on the front row. “Second place goes to Mikasa Ackerman.” I clapped again, but sunk down into my seat. She gracefully walked up on stage and took her award.

“Next we will be awarding the GPA achievement of the year.” My eyes fell on the stage. “First place is a tie between Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Alert with a 4.0.” I watched them walk up on stage again and Levi poked me in the side.

“Eren…why are you on here twice?”

“What?!” I watched his finger move over the program to the list of names and my heart fluttered. “Two awards?! WHY?! I won’t be able to leave, Levi!”

“Just calm down. I’m right here. He won’t lay a finger on you, okay?” I nodded and swallowed hard.

“Next we have our annual award for academic excellence. This award is given to an individual who has raised their GPA significantly throughout the year and we like to show them that we notice the hard work that they have put in. Eren Jaeger!” My eyes went wide and Levi grinned. I walked up to the stage, half excited and half terrified. I wanted to cry because they noticed. They fucking noticed how hard I worked. I took the award and the lady put her hand on my back. “Eren, that’s not all. With this award, there also comes a special scholarship.” SHIT. Shit. Shit. I can’t do this. Not without Levi.

“W-What?!”

“You have worked so hard, and we recognized that. We want to give you a full ride to the college of your choice!” My heart fucking stopped. “We believe you have it in you to achieve your dreams, so shoot for the stars!” I couldn’t hold it back. I couldn’t do it. I felt tears stinging my eyes, and I just let them loose. I broke down on that fucking stage as I took the award and she gave me a hug. Now we didn’t have to worry about college for me. Levi and I would be fine. We wouldn’t have to work our asses off just to pay off my student loans.

Someone helped me off the stage and I looked up to see it was Ms. Sallis. She was hugging me and offered me a tissue. She was crying as well.

“You deserve it more than anyone in this school, Eren. Congratulations.” I took the tissue and wiped my eyes. I took a few deep breaths. “Just hang around here for a second. Your next one is coming up.” I nodded and waited there next to her. She walked back onto stage after fixing her makeup.

“Okay! I’m here to present the awards for excellence in the arts program. For excellence in every way, and as my star student, I’d like to award Eren Jaeger!” I walked up onto stage again and she hugged me as she handed me the award. “And to prepare you for your journey ahead Eren, I’d like to also award you with a $500 gift certificate for art supplies that’s been provided by Dick Blick! My heart nearly exploded out of my chest. Holy Shit! “I have a certain feeling you’ll be majoring in art, but I can only hope.” She winked at me and reach me the certificate. Another hug and I was sent off the stage. I made my way back to Levi with a thumping heart. Home. We just needed to get home. I wasn’t going to let him ruin this night.

Levi met me about ¾ of the way down the aisle and Erwin was walking behind me.

“Eren!” I turned to look, and sure enough, Dad was following me. I felt Levi’s hand move to my lower back and urge me to move faster. We were in the lobby now, but I felt myself being yanked backwards, then jerked forwards into Levi’s arms. Within an instant, Erwin had him locked.

“LEAVE EREN ALONE.” Levi hissed it, and a few teachers came over.

“All of you, out!” This made Erwin have to let Dad loose but I stayed close to Levi. I was shaking. I was terrified. All those months of not even speaking. I knew he just wanted to beat me senseless now. God knows he was probably drunk. He swung at Erwin and Erwin caught his fist. Hanji ran up as he started yelling. “I WANT TO SEE MY SON!”

“You’ve hurt him enough!” Levi yelled.

“Eren!” I looked to the road and Jean was calling to me from the driver’s seat of a red car.

“GO!” Erwin demanded. Levi took my hand and we bolted down the sidewalk to the red car. We dove in the back and Jean sped off.

“Should I trust your driving Kirstein?!” Levi asked as he buckled his seatbelt.

“That’s up to you! So I’m guessing that was Eren’s dad?” My face fell into my hands and my certificates were stacked neatly on my lap.

“Yeah. Good guess. The asshole that always tries to ruin things. Hey…” I felt his hand on my back. “Don’t cry. Today is a good day. They fucking saw how great you were Eren. He may have tried to fuck it up, but don’t let him, okay?” I nodded and leaned against his shoulder.

“He’s right Eren! Look at you with all those awards! I didn’t even get invited.” Jean was smiling back at us and I gave him a half smile as I wiped my eyes. “Besides! Tomorrow is prom! We’ll have a blast! Levi is going with you right?” I looked over at Levi and he smiled at me.

“Yeah, he is.”

“Now, no offense, but even I can imagine Levi in a suit. So you’ve got that to look forward to!” I snorted and shook my head.

“Thanks Jean.” Levi kissed my cheek and grinned. “Who’s car is this anyway?”

“It’s my mom’s. She’s letting me borrow it for the night. I was supposed to pick up Armin and take him home, but he’ll just have to wait.”

“He’s probably still working on his stack of awards.” Levi joked.

“Mikasa too.” I smiled and he pressed a kiss to my head.

“This is the place, right?”

“Home sweet home. Thank you Jean. We owe you one.” Levi said with a smile. “Drive safe.”

“Always!” He was off with a wave and we walked inside.

“What a night…” I put my certificates on the table and sighed.

“Well…we were supposed to have a party to celebrate afterword, but I guess we’ll have it another night. Maybe Sunday?” I wrapped my arms around him in a hug and sighed.

“That sounds good, Levi. Can we just…go to bed?”

“Let me call Erwin and make sure he didn’t shove your dad into a locker first, then yes.” Levi dug his phone out of his pocket as he poured food into Kirara’s bowl. “You alright? Oh, he just gave up after we left? Wow…yeah he’s a total asshole. I know. Thanks Erwin. I appreciate it. Yeah, we were thinking Sunday maybe? Mhmm…alright. Night. Bye.”

“MEEEEEEEOW.” Kirara rubbed up against my legs, not rushing over to her bowl like she usually did.

“Are you telly Papa Eren, congratulations?”

“Meeew.” I grinned as Levi scratched her behind the ear.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Okay. Bed. Pleaaaaaase.”

“Alright brat. Let’s go. I’ve got some rewarding to give you first though.” He said with a deep chuckle.

“LEVI!!!!”


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prom Night!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I vaguely remember editing -.-''' ughhh *falls over* It's 5:37 now. Bed is calling meeee
> 
> Comments

Eren’s POV

“Does this look weird?”

“Of course it does! You don’t have pants on yet!” I frowned at my vest in the mirror as Armin adjusted it for me. Levi insisted on the ‘traditional’ route for prom. He left at 2pm for Erwin’s to get ready, taking half the bathroom and closet with him.

The plan was to pick up Mikasa on the way over to Erwin’s where Hanji would be waiting to help her with everything. Erwin would help Levi (not that he needed it I’m sure) and then they would pick us up here for dinner before prom. My stomach sank as I thought of it. What if I didn’t look right? What if Levi thought my suit looked weird…What if-

“Eren?! Pants!” My eyes snapped to Armin and I nodded. We had gotten a ‘little’ distracted by my stack of manga in the living room and had wasted a little bit of time…well a lot of time. We were running behind. I pulled my pants on and Armin adjusted my vest again.

“There, better. See? Oh, we need to fix your hair, Eren. It looks like a mop.”

“HEY!” He started combing my hair and rummaged through Levi’s drawers. He pulled out a bottle of something and put it in my hair. It did look better. Not as wild.

We walked out to the bedroom and I stared at my tie with a frown, then looked to Armin. Levi had never showed me how to put it on, like he’d promised. We just hadn’t had another occasion.

“Hey…Armin?”

“Yes Eren, I know how. Come over here. He picked up my tie and looped it around my neck. He knotted it quickly and tucked it right where it should go. “Okay. Coat next.” I slid my jacket on and wiggled a little. I guess this was it, besides shoes of course. I ran into the bathroom to look at the final product, and I had to admit, I didn’t look half bad. Hopefully Levi thought so. Armin followed me and patted me on the back.

“He’s going to eat you up.”

“Armin!” My face flashed a shade of red as I stared at my red shirt. It was a sharp contrast against everything else that was black, my vest, my jacket, and my tie. I was really getting nervous.

“Really! You look great! If you weren’t my best friend-“ Wait…What?! I turned to him with a raised eyebrow and his face went red.

“I MEAN…”

“Armin?!” He raised his hands in defense.

“You, you look nice!” Another pat on the back and he chuckled. I shook my head and looked him over. His outfit was simpler. A regular black suit jacket over a lavender shirt and a dark purple tie.

“You do too Armin! Purple looks nice on you.”

 _Kiss, kiss, fall in love!_ __  
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)  
  
I see you come, I watch you go; you never seem to leave me, though.  
So is this love or hate? We'll see...you're makin' me crazy!

“AH! That’s Levi calling!”

“HA! That’s his ringtone?!” Armin was laughing as we ran into the bedroom.

“Shut up! Hello?”

“You better not be telling me to shut up, brat. We are parked outside. Can we come in?”

“Yeah. We’ll come downstairs.” Armin ran to the refrigerator and grabbed the corsage he got for Mikasa. It really was a really beautiful purple flower. He had gotten himself a boutonniere as well, that he had already pinned onto his coat.

I heard the door open and Mikasa walked in first, picking up her lavender dress as she walked. It had silver accents along the top and she looked absolutely beautiful.

“Eren…Armin…you…wow….” She hugged me first and then Armin, who presented her with the corsage.

That’s when I caught sight of him and my heart jumped out of my fucking chest. I didn’t think Levi could possibly look any sexier than he already did, but holy fuck was I wrong. He was wearing a fucking tailcoat. My mouth dropped open. The picture he sent us was a fake?! His red shirt blazed underneath the coat, and my eyes slowly trailed up, taking in every detail. Red shirt, black vest. Oh. My. God. My eyes clung to his neck.

“Close your mouth Jaeger, or I’ll have to mop before we leave.” He smirked and took a step closer.

Around his neck, tied perfectly in its place was his cravat. My heart was thumping and as he took a step towards me, the tails of his coat fluttered. I heard a bag rattle.

“This.” He opened up the clear container in his hand that held a single red rose boutonniere. “Is for you.” I blinked a couple of times. Was this really happening? He smiled and pinned it on my jacket. I heard camera go off and a clap.

“MY BABIES! GROWING UP SO FAST!” Levi raised his eyebrow and I took a moment to notice his flawless eyeliner. Fuck. It was perfect. He was perfect. He reach the other container out to me that help his identical flower and I reach out for it with a shaky hand. I swallowed hard, trying to calm myself. He looped his arm around my waist and pulled me down so he could whisper to me.

“Why are you so nervous? It’s just me?”

“I-I was scared that…that I might not look right…or…or something?” I sighed and he chuckled softly.

“Well…” He whispered it lower this time. “You got it JUST right. Trust me. I just want to rip that off of you right now. It’s going to be all I can do to keep it fucking PG-13 tonight. Trust me.” He placed a quick kiss to my neck before pulling away. He smiled at me and I let out a relieved smile as red flooded into my cheeks. I took the pin and fastened it to Levi’s shirt, and once again, Hanji took a picture. Levi looked up into my eyes and god, did his eyes look stunning tonight. Almost a luminous silver. His hair was perfect, glossy black as always, but hanging just right. A shiver ran down my spine as I looked into his eyes and he licked his lips before pulling me down for a kiss. It was soft at first, just enough to tell me how much he missed me today while we were apart, but then I could feel the shift. The drastic change into want. My lips parted and he fucking stole the kiss from me. I moaned into it and I heard Mikasa sigh, so I pulled back with a red face. Levi’s eyes narrowed.

“Keep it up, and we won’t fucking make it to prom.” He whispered in my ear. I grinned and took his hand in mine. Only Levi.

“Okay kiddos! Pictures!” She did pictures with Mikasa and Armin first as we stood back with Erwin. I jumped when I felt Levi’s hand sneak lower than it should have. He snickered and looped it back around my waist.

“You-“

“Grabbed your ass? Stop looking so hot.” He whispered in my ear.

“Levi!” I tried to fan the red from my face before our pictures started and he left me alone for a moment.

“Alright! Levi, Eren!” We walked over to the steps and she moved us around. “CUTE! Okay! Smile!” Levi grinned and I smiled. She moved us again, this time turning us towards each other and having us hold hands. I felt Levi’s thumb rubbing mine, and my heart began to race. Could just his thumb do that to me? “CLOSER!” Levi raised his eyebrow and we took a step closer. He looped his arm around me and we smiled at the camera and she took the picture. “NOW KISS!”

“Hanji!” Levi growled. I blushed and turned my face into Levi’s jacket.

“Come on! It’ll be sweet!” Levi sighed and lifted my chin up off his shoulder with his fingertips.

“Hey.” He grinned at me and I felt my face flush even redder.

“H-Hey.” He brought our lips together and I heard the camera click, but Levi didn’t part with me immediately. He lingered for a moment, enjoying the warmth of my lips against his.

“Mhmm…soft lips.” He was smirking and we pulled apart. My heart was pounding against my chest. My sister was going to kill him I’m sure.

“Okay! All four now!”

“I’m not kissing Arlert!” Levi joked as he brushed off his jacket.

“You know what I mean Levi!” Hanji said as she pointed to her camera. We took a few more pictures and headed for the door. Hanji stayed behind at the house, while Armin rode up front with Erwin. Mikasa, Levi and I sat in the back.

We ate dinner at a local steakhouse that Levi had insisted on, and we were pretty much eyeing each other rather than the steak on the table the entire time. Mikasa and Armin on the other hand finished up their whole plates within minutes while it took us a while longer, because we were too busy playing footsie with each other.

When it came time to pay the bill, Levi laid his card down for all four of us and Mikasa panicked.

“Levi, you don’t-“ He put his hand up to silence her.

“You are pretty much family. All three of you. Got it?” She fell silent and a soft smile crept onto her face. “I don’t mind one bit to pay for my family to eat. I saw him scribbling something on a napkin with the pen that came with the bill and he folded it neatly. We got up from the table and stopped by the host table on the way out. “I had a pick up order as well.”

“Oh yes! Here you go sir!” Levi grabbed the bag and turned to follow us out, shoving the napkin in my pocket. I fished it out and read it as we walked towards the car.

_You are_ _mine tonight, Jaeger._

My face went red and I ditched the napkin in a nearby trashcan before we hopped in the car.

“Here’s dinner for you and Hanji. Thanks for everything tonight, Erwin!” Levi said with a grin.

“No problem. On to prom we go! Now do I need to give you kids the speech?” Erwin pulled out and began driving to the venue and put on his best old man voice. “When I was your age, we didn’t have latex condoms! We had-“

“NO!” Mikasa screamed out and smacked his shoulder.

“But seriously. I’ll be there to pick you up tonight after. If you decide to go out and party afterwards and need a ride, I’ll be available then too. To all of you. You all have my number right?” A series of yeahs were heard and Erwin nodded. “I don’t want to see anything happen to any of you. I don’t care if you are drunk off your ass and puking everywhere. I’ll still pick you up. That goes for any time of year actually. If you ever need a ride.” Everyone thanked him as we pulled up to the venue. “Have a good time!”

I took Levi’s hand and froze just outside the door. My heart was thumping. Mikasa and Armin stopped and looked back at me.

“What’s wrong?” Levi looked up at me with concern, face illuminated by the street lights that lined the sidewalk. I gave his hand a squeeze and swallowed hard.

“F-First time…being in the school with you.” His concern softened to a knowing smile and he took my other hand in his as well.

“Nervous about it?”

“A little…” The look Levi gave me was one filled with nothing but affection and adoration for me. My heart melted and he stood on his tip toes as I leaned down, just so he could kiss my forehead.

“Listen to me, Eren. Screw them. We are in love. I love you more than there are stars in that fucking sky above us. They can’t take that from us. I’m here tonight so YOU can be happy. So enjoy it. Don’t let them ruin your night, okay?” Fuck…he always knows what to say.

“Alright.” Another kiss, this one just a peck on the lips, but I could feel his warmth nonetheless, and we walked inside with Mikasa and Armin. There was a line to the photo booth. Photos were mandatory for the prom book at the end of the year. You could buy copies of course, but every attending couple, or person was required to take one.

“Eren!” Oh my… Jean waved to us and tugged a blushing Marco behind him.

“Marco’s here?” Levi asked with a smirk.

“UGH….yeah! He didn’t have a problem getting in. He’s only 19!” They were wearing matching peach shirts and black suits and ties.” Levi was grinning.

“So have you already had your pictures taken?”

“Yeah! We got here 10 minutes ago.” We moved up in line and Jean was grinning. We heard the door open behind us and I heard a familiar cackle. God…not now…

“You look like an idiot Jean!” Connie Springer walked up in an obnoxious lime green suit with a top hat on and looked him over. He looked over at me, then he looked to Levi and frowned. “Jaeger. Oh it’s YOU.” He sneered at Levi. “I didn’t expect them to let a faggot in here.” He whispered at Levi and I saw Levi’s expression go from calm to rage in .03 seconds.

“What did you fucking say to me, kid?” His eyes narrowed and I could hear the venom in his voice. I got chills down my spine and I put my hand on Levi’s shoulder.

“Levi…please.”

“That you are a faggot. It’s gross. Just. Like. Eren. Fucking-“ I grabbed Levi’s fist before it collided with Connie’s face. Mere centimeters away. He flinched and Levi took a deep breath. He was pissed.

“You are fucking lucky kid. You’re lucky Eren’s strong. Lucky he doesn’t want me to destroy your fucking face right now.” His pupils were pinpoint small and he looked like he was ready to murder Connie.

“As if you could-“

“Stop it Connie.” I warned. “Just. Fucking. Stop. Levi isn’t playing games. You don’t know him.” I hadn’t seen him like this before. It was scary. My hand loosened around Levi’s and I grabbed ahold of his fingers, lacing them together with mine. Connie just scoffed and turned to Jean.

“Can you believe them Jean!? And who’s this?!” Jean’s face was red too. He looked like he was about to smash Connie into the ground himself.

“This is Marco. He goes to Trost.”

“Nice to meet ya! Maybe you can hook me up with some hot bitches at the University.” Marco turned red and turned to Jean.

“Marco my boyfriend.” Connie’s mouth dropped open and he stared back and forth from Jean to Marco.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?!”

“Is there a problem over here?!” Principle Shadis walked over and stared at Levi. Levi sighed and motioned to Connie. “Springer is causing trouble as usual? Am I going to have to ask you to leave Connie?”

“WHAT?! No! They-“

“Appear to be doing nothing wrong. Go on! Go inside. Don’t bother them the rest of the night or you are OUT! Got it.”

“Yes, sir.” He walked off with a sigh and Jean frowned as he looked at Marco.

“Sorry about Springer.” He was apologizing to Levi? Since when?

“That kid needs to learn some manners.” Levi took a deep breath and sighed. “If he gets out into the real world and starts throwing around slurs like that, someone is really going to…” Levi shook his head. “Anyways, the line has moved up.” We took a few steps forward and I gave Levi’s hand a squeeze.

“Levi…”

“I’m sorry…I almost ruined everything.” He mumbled it, but it was loud enough for me to hear. I hear Mikasa and Armin frantically discussing what had just happened behind us, but I paid them no attention.

“No, really. You were standing up for us. There is nothing wrong with that.”

“There is something about that kid, Eren. I can’t stand him. I would have went to jail for punching a minor in the face.” I chuckled softly and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I would have bailed you out. The nicest dressed in the prison, that’s for sure. My boyfriend: The defender. I can see it now.”

“More like your boyfriend, the asshole that punched the 16 year old.”

“Connie is 19. He’s been held back so many times. He doesn’t even know how to count to potato.” Armin said behind us. Levi chuckled and my heart soared. That laugh I love.

“See? He really is just an idiot. Let’s just have a good night together, okay?” He smiled at me and nodded.

“Sounds like a plan to me, Eren.” He fixed my tie and I eyed his cravat. Fuck. It was still perfectly in place. We moved into the photoset and the photographer’s assistant walked up to us. I gave Levi’s hand a squeeze and let it drop.

“Okay! So a little more than friends I’m guessing?” She was beaming at us and Levi smiled. She moved us into a similar position that Hanji had us in, hands together and facing each other, but the tail’s of Levi’s coat were out just a little more. “Smile! I smiled and Levi did also, the camera flashed and we were moved along into the hallway where chocolate fountains and cheese and fruit trays were sat up while we waited for Mikasa and Armin.

“Levi do you want-“ He looked at me with a frown as he saw someone’s fingers go directly into the chocolate and he shuddered. “Nevermind.” I frowned as I looked at the chocolate flowing down and I felt his fingers wrap around mine and tug me forward.

“Come on.” He was pulling me towards the food tables.

“What?!” He handed me a cup and a plate and grabbed one for himself. We poured ourselves some tea out of the dispensers and Armin and Mikasa caught up with us.

“Hey!” Armin was grinning.

“HEY! Look at this!”

“Chocolate!” Mikasa grabbed a plate. “Just don’t spill it!” Levi’s eyebrow twitched as he picked up a skewer and stabbed half of a strawberry, before running it under the chocolate drizzle. He ran two more under, alone with two marshmallows, and I did the same combination. We all at the same table together and Levi looked at the bubbling chocolate hell on our plates.

“Okay. Here.” He poked the strawberry towards my mouth and I took it, enjoying every bit of the warm chocolate. Levi cringed. “If either of us gets a disease…” I shoved a strawberry at his mouth and he hesitated for a second. “Only for you, Jaeger.” He ate the whole thing and swallowed it quickly. I swiped a drop of chocolate off his lip, before he fed me a marshmallow.

“MIKASA!” I looked over to see Mikasa poking Armin with the skewer. “OUCH!” He threw a plain marshmallow at her and it bounced off her head. Levi chuckled and I grinned. I looked back down and miraculously, the plate I was feeding Levi only had one strawberry left and my plate had filled up. He smiled and shrugged like he didn’t know what had happened.

“I guess I can’t expect the germaphobe to eat that much. How about, the strawberry and kiss?” Levi raised his eyebrow.

“Sounds like a plan. But let’s take the kiss inside to the dancefloor so the chaperones out here won’t bust our balls for it?” I fed him the last strawberry on the plate before I destroyed everything on mine, before standing up. Mikasa and Armin trashed their plates at the same time and we walked into the room where the dancefloor and DJ was set up.

_We were victims of the night,_

_The chemical, physical, kryptonite_

 

I smiled at the song and Mikasa and Armin immediately shot off to dance to it. Levi just shook his head as I grinned like an idiot and pulled him towards the direction Mikasa and Armin went, which just so happened to be next to Jean and Marco.

“You expect me to dance to this?” Levi said with an amused expression. I was dancing awkwardly, but I didn’t care. I was happy. Levi was here with me. I was surrounded by friends. Jean was dancing like an idiot.

_Helpless to the bass and the fading light_

“Come on Levi!” I took his hands in mine and began to move his arms. He started laughing as I danced like just as much of an idiot as Jean, but my eyes we glued to him. He added some weird foot moves to the mix and we were dying from laughter.

_Oh, we were bound to get together,  
Bound to get together._

 

Mikasa jumped into our dance and bumped Levi out of the way and he snorted. Jean joined in and started spinning Levi in circles. I was crying from laughter. I was doing some strange spinning move with Mikasa and Armin started hopping around. Levi grabbed my arm right on cue.

 _She took my arm,_  
I don't know how it happened.  
We took the floor and she said,

Right up against him. Then out again. Then back in. I was grinning and then he bumped hips with me.

_"Oh, don't you dare look back._

_Just keep your eyes on me."_

_I said, "You're holding back,"_

“The only thing I’m holding back is laughter!” Levi said as loud as he could over the blaring music. “You are fucking hilarious. We bumped hips again and looked at each other and shrugged before we started doing the Gangnam style dance. We were laughing hysterically the whole time we did it and Mikasa and Amin just had to stop and catch their breath as they watched us, because they were laughing so hard. Armin had tears rolling down his cheeks.

 _She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"_  
This woman is my destiny  
She said, "Oh, oh, oh,  
Shut up and dance with me."

I grinned and tilted Levi back like at the end of a tango and gave him a small kiss on the lips. He chuckled and we sprung up.

“You are ridiculous.” I hugged him and he rolled his eyes.

“Thanks for dancing!”

“You’re welcome, babe.” We heard guitar music start and Jean and Marco got together. Mikasa and Armin waved to us before walking off to a table to sit for a while. This could only mean one thing. A slow song.

_When your legs don't work like they used to before_

_And I can't sweep you off of your feet_

Levi wrapped his arms around my waist and my arms were around and neck, pulling him closer. I could feel his heart beating in his chest. Slow as steady. As far as I was concerned, we were the only two people in the room.

“We’ve never slow danced before, have we?” He whispered low. I could hear him though. I could even feel the vibrations coming from his chest, see his adam’s apple bob as he spoke. We barely swayed back and forth to the music as we moved. Completely together as one.

“Just the waltz we learned together.” He smiled and looked up at me.

“Well, this is different than a waltz. Closer.” He leaned his head against my shoulder for a second to show me and I blushed.

_Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?_

_Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?_

We spun a bit and Levi grinned from ear to ear. I could feel my face aching from smiling so much. He looked perfect, and to see him so happy and enjoying himself. To be enjoying each other.

_And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70  
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23_

 

“You really do look great tonight, Eren.” He reach up and stroked my cheek, and I couldn’t help but go blood red, because I was thinking the same exact thing about him.

“I-I was thinking the same thing about you.” He smirked and leaned in closer to me, brushing his lips against my neck. I shivered and he pulled away.

 

_And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways_

_Maybe just the touch of a hand_

 

“Your face is red…it’s a little hot in here.” He motioned towards a door to the side of the room and tugged me with my hand. It had an exit sign above it and as we entered we saw steps. Levi ‘accidentally’ tripped and shut the door behind us, effectively locking it from the inside out. We could get out, no one else could get in. We climbed the steps up, until we were met with a sky full of stars on the roof.

 

_Well, me - I fall in love with you every single day  
And I just wanna tell you I am_

 

We could still hear the music perfectly clear from up here and Levi looped his arms right back around me, just as we had been before. I smiled and wrapped my arms back around his shoulders. We danced as the stars and moon surrounded us, twinkling and shining. Lighting the roof around us.

 

_So honey now  
Take me into your loving arms_

 

“It’s perfect tonight.” I said as I gazed up at the sky.

_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

 

“Yeah, you are.” I looked to Levi and he was gazing straight at me, with a wide smile on his face as we moved slow and steady to the rhythm. I brought my lips down to his and his tongue swiped across lower lip. I gladly granted the entrance, wanting nothing more than to taste the sweet flavor that was Levi. We kissed and danced. Explored and glided across the rooftop.

_Place your head on my beating heart_

 

I was so close to him. I could feel his heart beating, almost to the rhythm of the music and I craved to be closer. I spun us in a circle and Levi smiled up at me with those silvery eyes that I loved so much. Those warm eyes filled with so much love and affection that my heart almost couldn’t take it. His cologne was drifting around me, enveloping me. One arm dropped from his neck down to his lower back and the muscles of his back flexed beneath the fabric of his suit as I ran my hand down.

_I'm thinking out loud_

_That maybe we found love right where we are_

 

His hands moved lower as the kiss grew hungrier. From exploring, to savoring, to absolutely thirsting for each other. From lips, to mouth, to neck.

“L-Levi?!” We stumbled backwards until we hit the wall by the fence, looking out over the star filled sky.

“Fuck. Eren….I-“ He loosened my tie and the first button on my dress shirt, sucking on my collarbone and I was absolutely falling for his moves. Utterly and completely falling for every single thing he was doing. “Can’t control myself when you look like that.”

 

_When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades  
And the crowds don't remember my name_

 

“And you think I can?!” I grabbed him by the cravat and yanked him forward. “Think again!” I crashed our lips together and he pinned me up against the wall. Another button came undone on my shirt. Fuck. We couldn’t do it here. I pulled away from him for a minute to breathe and collect my thoughts.

“W-We…we can’t do it here. We don’t even have-“ Levi held up a packet of lube that he pulled out of his pocket and he shook his head.

“I know what you are thinking! Erwin gave it to me as a fucking joke. The night at the park remember? He said we’d need it if we fucked in public again. Well…I forgot to take it out of my pocket and…” My face went red and Levi leaned down to kiss me. “But…I can hold back. We can wait until tonight, babe.” I whined and that was enough to convince him to carry on.

 

_When my hands don't play the strings the same way  
I know you will still love me the same_

 

Hips were grinding against hips and I let out a strangled cry.

“EREN! SHHH!” Levi shot me a glance and I desperately clawed at his shoulder. “Quiet.” He purred this command in my ear and I nodded. He palmed me through my pants and I let out another whimper, quieter this time, but I was definitely having trouble. Levi unbuckled my pants and snaked his hand inside my underwear with a smirk. “What’s this? Already hard?” I whimpered again and nodded as Levi gave me a squeeze through my pants. He took my pants completely off and folded them neatly, before placing them to the side, along with both of our jackets. He pulled my leg up onto the cement barrier, spreading my legs further for him. I could feel my face turning a deep shade of red, and I knew Levi was eating it up.

 

_'Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen_

_And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory_

 

“Surely, Jaeger, you wouldn’t be excited about doing it up here, would you?” He asked with a devious grin as he tore open the packet. I whimpered again and kept my mouth shut. Levi licked his lips, before diving in for another kiss. This one was hungrier. Deep, passionate, wanting. Filled with everything that our make out sessions at home were filled with, and it was making my heart race. I cracked an eye open to see him slicking up his fingers, and sure enough, he started stroking at my entrance. I wiggled against the cement wall. He plunged the slick digit inside and I gasped.

 

_I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways  
Maybe it's all part of a plan_

 

“L-Levi!”

“Eren!” He shot me a look and I squeezed my eyes shut. “We’ll get caught. Shhhh.”

“Nnnng.” I really was trying to be quiet, but my body just wasn’t cooperating. I clung to Levi’s shirt and he pulled himself closer.

“Fuck…” He whispered it as he looked over me. I opened my eyes to watch him undo his cravat. The finger was moving in me now and I was groaning. A lot more than I intended. He yanked the cravat off his neck with his free hand and twisted it. His lips were on mine again, claiming them as if he hadn’t kissed me in weeks, and then he finally broke away and kissed my forehead. “Eren. I’m putting this in your mouth. Bite down on it.” My eyes went wide as I eyed the twisted cravat. He had fucking WRINKLED it?! I eyed him nervously, my heart pounding. This was weird. I trusted Levi with my heart and soul…but this…he stroked my cheek with the fingers holding the cloth and my worry melted away. “Just to keep you quiet babe.” I nodded and opened my mouth as he let me bite down on the fabric. A second finger was immediately added, and although my hips bucked, my moan was by far muffled. “Much better.”

 

_Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes_

_Hoping that you'll understand_

 

I felt myself stretching. Felt my walls crumbling, my reasoning giving out. Levi was so close. Breath takingingly close. His eyes were practically shining in the moonlight, and I just wanted to be closer. I wanted to kiss him, but it was my own damn fault I couldn’t be quiet. Maybe I could just- I ripped the cravat out for a second and yanked him down by his hair.

“MHMPH!” His eyes went wide and I moaned into the kiss as his fingers moved inside me. FUCK. Tongue on tongue. The stars. The moon. We both opened our eyes to just look at each other, even though our mouths were battling still. Grey. Turquoise. Red. Black. The colors of the evening were swirling around us. I accidentally bit down on Levi’s lip as he hit that spot deep inside of me, but I managed to stay quiet somehow. He pulled away and I kissed his swollen lip.

 

_That, baby, now  
Take me into your loving arms_

 

“S-Sorry!” He grinned and shook his head.

“It’s fine. Really.” More adjustment, more stretching, more kissing. Up until the cravat was replaced and a third finger was added. I was pushing forward against his hand, and the rest of my body was violently jerking back against the wall, whimpering into the cravat. I wanted to beg him, plead to him that I was ready, but I knew he wouldn’t listen anyway. My words were wasted. So I simply opened my eyes and stared straight into his, hoping to accomplish something. His eyelashes flickered and he smiled at me. Fuck. His eyes were beautiful. I reach out for him, feeling so much pressure from just his fingers alone. He hummed as he looked into my eyes. I could see the lusty haze taking over. The absolute need. Feel his own hard on pressing against my thigh. I moaned into the cravat and he pulled back, bringing his fingers along with the motion. I was completely empty and I hated it. I needed more. Needed Levi. Needed him closer.

_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

 

“MH-Le-vi.” I reach out to pull him closer, but he held a finger up to pause me. I nodded and kept still and silent, aside from my shaky breaths into the cravat. He began unbuckling his own belt and my heart started racing faster. It was one thing to be caught messing around on a rooftop…but to actually be caught fucking was a whole different level. My face was turning different shades of red as I watched him. He unzipped his pants and paused his motions there, making my heart pause in my throat before it completely erupted out of my body. He raised an eyebrow and leaned in closer, ripping the cravat out of my mouth.

“Having second thoughts?” I reach out for him with shaky hands and pulled him closer. I was. He was 100% right. I was about to turn tail and run. But just that look in Levi’s eyes was enough to drive me on.

 

_Place your head on my beating heart_

 

“J-Just...just kiss me for a minute?” I felt queasy. Like we could be caught any moment. Like I sure as hell could be expelled from school for this pretty easily. I’m sure we were breaking at least 10 school rules, but that yearning in my stomach compelled me on. I hid my face in the crook of his neck for a minute and he chuckled.

“Absolutely. You don’t ever have to ask me twice to kiss you, Jaeger.” He tilted my head over from his shoulder to meet his lips and my cock couldn’t help but twitch as our lips connected. Just the feel of his lips on mine sent an electricity through me that I couldn’t control. A pulse that only Levi could start. My leg fell from the cement ledge back into its original place of me standing normally, and Levi stuck his own leg up in the ledge, using it as leverage, before pinning me against the wall and completely devouring me in a heated kiss. I gasped for air and had to pull back for a second, only to be pulled back in. He was losing control. Hell, I was losing control. I guess it was fight or flight…well…I guess in this case flight or fuck.

 

_Thinking out loud  
That maybe we found love right where we are_

 

“L-Levi?” He pulled away from my neck with an absolute animalistic gaze in his eyes. He was panting and pink faced.

“Yeah, brat?” He licked his lips and brushed my bangs back.

“I-I think I’m ready….” Before I could finish my sentence, Levi captured my lips again and was yanking his pants the rest of the way down.

 

_So, baby, now_

 

“Good, because I couldn’t hold back much longer.” His cock was an angry red when I looked down and he picked up the packet off of the ledge and used the rest of the lube on himself.

“Umm…Levi?” My face was already glowing red, but this question was sure to make it turn purple. We had already had one incident of shower sex because of our height difference, so we’d have to come up with something now.

“Hmm?”

“We…ugh…it’s not going to work with us standing like this. Remember? The shower?” His eyes went wide as I’m sure he recalled the strings of curses and knocked over shampoo bottles as well as scraped shins on the faucet.

 

_Take me into your loving arms_

 

“Fuck…And I’m not getting down on this dirty ass roof. Especially in these clothes. Neither are you. He eyed the ledge against the fence and grinned. “We’ll just be…creative. Right?” I swallowed hard and nodded. He replaced the cravat in my mouth after one more kiss and spun me around in the very far corner, hands against the wall, bend over towards him. He jumped up on the ledge on my heart thumped. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. I hope that fence is strong. PLEASE don’t fall… “Relax Eren…” I heard the fence rattle behind me as he tested it. “It’s fine.” He ran his hand underneath my shirt, along my lower back and I shivered. We really hadn’t done it like this much. I preferred to see Levi’s face. I wanted to see his expressions. To make it known to myself that I was pleasing him, but there was no helping it up here.

 

_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

 

I felt both his hand on my hip and I whined into the cravat. No going back from here. He positioned himself at my entrance with the other hand, before slowly pushing in, seating himself fully. I felt the familiar tug at my muscles, stretching, pulling. Becoming used to Levi again. I dropped my head down and felt Levi wipe the extra lube on my outer thigh before running his hand under my shirt again.

“Eren, nod twice if you are okay.” I gave two full nods and tried to focus on the feeling of Levi running his hands along my back. I always thought that it was JUST the first time. And by that, I mean Levi’s special treatment of me. But that was NEVER the case. He was always slow. Always gentle. Always caring. A quickie didn’t really exist in our book. It was always about affection, about passion. Even up here on the fucking roof in the middle of prom. It was almost laughable the attention he was paying to me under the intense pressure we may get caught. But no, he wasn’t rushing. He wouldn’t dare hurt me that way. That’s why I trusted Levi with every fiber of my being. Why I trusted him with my heart and soul. With every piece of me.

 

_Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart_

 

I felt the muscles give way to the familiar intrusion and I pushed back slightly against Levi. I fucking wanted more. I wanted him. Wanted him to just MOVE. He took that as his sign and pulled back slowly. I gripped at the wall in front of me, mewling into the cravat. Only a muffled sound came through luckily, and Levi gave my hip a squeeze. He pushed back in just as slow and I just bit down on the cravat. I couldn’t take him being slow with me. I couldn’t fucking take it. I needed him to fuck me. Needed him to go harder. I whined as he barely brushed against my prostate and I wiggled against him.

“MPHPL-lease. LE-evi.” He chuckled and pulled out a little quicker before thrusting in with some force this time.

“It’s hard to hear you like that, Eren.” I knew he was smirking. I just fucking knew it. Another thrust, this one was harder than the last and had me grabbing onto the wall. “I’m guessing you want it harder?” He growled it low. “Nod twice if that’s what you want.” It took all I had to not nod frantically. He chuckled again and I felt his grip tighten in my hips even more. “You better hang on brat.” He rammed into me and I nearly lost it. I fucking saw stars with just that one thrust and my whole body almost went flush with the wall. “Stay bent over, babe.” I leaned back and GOD was I lucky this cravat was in my mouth. Although…My mouth was hanging open. I felt him tug on it and it tightened. “Tell me if I hurt you.” Levi was holding it in my mouth as he fucked me senseless. Literally. I couldn’t even bite down to hold the damn cravat in my mouth. I cried out against the fabric as he kept slamming into that bundle of nerves deep inside, making me jerk and spasm against the wall.

“Hnnnnng.”Levi’s own moans were controlled and low. Easily covered up by the pulsing music below, unlike my relentless screams. I could just picture his face right now, and that was enough to make my cock twitch again and make that tension start.

_I'm thinking out loud  
That maybe we found love right where we are_

 

He was pounding hard, using the position we were in to his advantage. With every thrust he would hit my prostate directly, and it had me seeing stars. With every swing back, he would yank on the cravat at the same time, pulling me along with him. We were moving completely as one. I felt the tension start to become unbearable, and I balled my fists up, slipping against the wall with a particularly hard thrust.

 

_Oh, baby, we found love right where we are_

 

“SHIT. Eren, are you okay?!” Two nods and I grabbed hold again. Only one thing on my mind. Well two. That fucking unbearable pressure building of pleasure within me and my sexy boyfriend behind me that was causing me. He kept thrusting, kept letting out little sighs and low moans, which sent me spiraling over the edge. I released with a muffled cry into the cravat, shooting against the rooftop and Levi kept thrusting relentlessly into my spent body, pushing me past the point of overstimulation. I was whining now as I felt the cold air against the fluids on my body. Levi groaned one last time, low again and with a hard push, I felt hot fill me. He stilled for just a moment, before pulling out.

_And we found love right where we are_

 

I sighed as I realized where we were exactly. No bathroom to clean up like he usually did. He jumped down off the ledge and started fishing through his jacket that he’d tossed aside. He pulled out a cloth handkerchief and wiped his hands. I stood up normally and he sighed.

“Lean over.”

“L-Levi?!” He gave me a blank stare and held up the handkerchief.

“At least let me wipe the lube off your legs so you can make it to the bathroom and clean up.” He was frowning. “I fucking feel guilty, okay? Just let me take care of you. Prom is probably over by now…” My face went red and I leaned over, letting him wipe me down. I threw on my clothes, and we put everything back on, minus one soggy cravat, and ran downstairs to the bathroom. After I’d managed to clean up (with Levi standing by the door blocking it) we went back to the dance floor.

“WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?!” Mikasa said as she danced over. “You were gone for over an hour!” Levi pulled his phone out of his pocket and shrugged.

“We went up on the roof to look at the stars and lost track of time. We slow danced a little and I just…got lost in your brother’s eyes. Sorry Mikasa.” He took my hand in his and I grinned. She rolled her eyes and he smiled at me.

 

“Okay everyone!” The DJ announced. “This last song is to commemorate the graduating class! So grab your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, and have a slow dance!” Armin looked at Mikasa and she shrugged.

“Screw it. Why not?” Armin wrapped his arms around Mikasa’s waist and I smiled as Levi did the same to mine.

“So I guess we know who the girl is, huh Eren?”

“SHUT UP ARMIN.” I stuck my tongue out at him and Levi grinned.

“I’m talking about dancing Eren.” My arms were around his shoulders and my face was going red.

_Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,  
And think of you_

 

“I think dancing is about whoever wants to lead. Slow dancing is kind of just about, moving together as one I think.” Levi said as he looked up into my eyes. “Wouldn’t you say so, Eren?” His head went to rest on my shoulder as the music drifted through the room, and we moved our feet along, feeling our heart beats pulse together.

_Caught up in circles confusion -  
Is nothing new_

 

“Yeah. Definitely.” Dancing was about being close to one another. Being able to predict one another’s moves. Or not. It could also be about the excitement. It was almost like sex. It depended solely on your partner. On the trust you had for them. The love you had for them. I think that’s why everyone’s eyes were always on me and Levi. Why we always moved together flawlessly, whether on the dancefloor or in bed. We had that trust for each other. That love that would never be extinguished.

_Flashback - warm nights -  
Almost left behind_

 

I leaned my forehead against his and we brought our lips together. I thought about all the absolute hell we have made it through just to get here. To be able to hold each other like this. I looked down into those warm grey eyes and he was looking right back into mine.

 

_Suitcases of memories,  
Time after -_

 

Levi, my prince charming. Levi, my boyfriend that not only has stood by my side through thick and thin, but has supported me every step of the way. Emotionally, financially, lovingly. He took me into his home without a second thought and has helped me with anything that I have asked him to, and a lot of things that I haven’t even asked him to. He’s brought a lot of surprises along the way, along of baggage of his own, but I will ALWAYS be there to support him as well.

_Sometimes you picture me -_

_I'm walking too far ahead_

 

“What’s on your mind?” He whispered it against my neck and I smiled.

_You're calling to me, I can't hear  
What you've said_

 

“Just how amazing you are to me. How much we’ve made it through together.”

_Then you say - go slow -_  
I fall behind -  
The second hand unwinds

 

“Mhmm…We are strong together, Eren.” I felt his heartbeat speed up and I grinned. “So strong. I’ll always be here for you. Always. I love you.”

 

_If you're lost you can look - and you will find me  
Time after time_

  
“Same for you, Levi. Really. My prince charming may even need some support sometimes, and I’ll be here when you do. I love you so much.” He chuckled and smiled. A smile that made my heart leap out of my chest. That’s when I realized it. A good day. We’ve had a good day without worry. Without stress. Complete happiness. My heart was soaring and I reach out to touch his bangs.

 

_If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting_

_Time after time_

 

“Eren…you’re tearing up. What’s-“

“I’m so happy!” I hugged him tight against me and he pulled me closer. “So, So happy Levi. Today has been wonderful.”

 _Then you say - go slow -_  
I fall behind -  
The second hand unwinds

Everyone in the room started hugging their friends and I kissed Levi once more before I broke away to start hugging Mikasa, Armin and Jean. There were a few others, but they really didn’t have a spot in my heart like them.

_If you're lost you can look - and you will find me  
Time after time_

The DJ came over the microphone again.

“An early congratulations to the graduating class! Enjoy the last couple of weeks of high school! And enjoy the fresh start to your new lives! Thank you for making this year’s prom possible!” The lights slowly started coming on and everyone started clapping.

_If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting  
Time after time_

I took Levi’s hand in mine and we walked out of the venue together, happier than we had been in months. My heart was practically beating out of my chest. Marco and Jean were walking alongside us to the parking lot with Mikasa and Armin. We spotted Erwin’s car and walked towards it. He had went ahead and parked next to Jean’s mom’s car.

“J-Jaeger, you f-faggot.” We froze at the familiar voice and I was yanked backwards. I felt Levi’s arms around me immediately, pulling me against him in one speedy motion, knocking Connie off balance. I was fine, but Oh was Levi pissed.

“Surely you didn’t just put your hands on him?” He pulled off his coat and threw it at Armin. “You didn’t fucking touch him?!” Connie looked terrified. “After the fucking amazing night we’ve had. After all the smiles. All the fucking happiness. You’ve went and ruined it!” Levi practically growled it. “You little worthless piece of shit.”

“Who are you c-allling. A shit?!”

“He’s drunk Levi.” Armin warned.

“Jaeger is a shit. That’s who. AND he dresses like a GIRL! Just. Like. You! EYELINER!” Connie charged forward towards me taking a swing at my face and everything moved in slow motion. Levi averted his punch, twisting his arm with a yelp from Connie and fist colliding square in the side of his jaw, he fell so hard, he skidded across the asphalt, leaving chunks of lime green suit left behind on the pavement.

“DO I HIT LIKE A FUCKING GIRL?!” Levi screamed. “Get the FUCK out of here!” Connie gave him a terrified look. “Leave Eren the FUCK alone. Now and FOREVER! Don’t come near him!” If only Scooby-doo were real that’s what Connie’s legs looked like as he tried to get traction to run in his dress shoes. Levi was huffing and shook his head.

“Fuck….Eren. Are you alright?!” I stared at his hand.

“Are YOU alright!?” His hand looked like it was starting to turn red and swell already.

“I’m fine. Just….caught his jaw wrong. I’ll be fine with a wrap and some ice. Let’s go home.” Jean and Marco were just staring at Levi in awe. I was ushering him into the car. Armin was telling him about proper icing instructions and Mikasa…as soon as we were in the car and had the doors shut, Mikasa started to cry.

“E-Eren. Do you deal with that a lot?!” My eyes went wide and I turned from Levi, who was trying to ensure me that his hand was fine, to Mikasa that was sitting next to me. “Guys like Connie?!”

“Well…It’s not usually that bad. And besides, I have Levi to take care of me. Right?” Levi smiled and waved with his good hand.

“I’ll always protect him.”

“I just…I didn’t think it was that hard…” I pulled her into a hug and smiled.

“Don’t think on it too much. I’m happy with Levi. The happiness outweighs all of the negativity from people. I don’t even care about what other people think. They can go screw themselves.” Levi chuckled and ruffled my hair.

“Exactly.”

“My happiness comes first Mikasa. I’m not going to let their negativity drag us down, okay?” She smiled and wiped her tears.

“Alright.”

“Okay! Armin’s house!” Erwin pulled up at Armin’s house and Armin and Mikasa got out together.

“Goodnight! I love you Eren!”

“Love you too!” Erwin drove us the rest of the way home, and I couldn’t help but rub Levi’s wrist to offer him a little bit of comfort. After we parted ways with Erwin, we went inside and I wrapped Levi’s hand before icing it with an ice pack.

We laid in bed together, completely exhausted from the night, simply staring at each other cast in the blue light.

“Thank you for defending me…”

“You’ve thanked me about ten times already.”

“I mean it…” He brushed my bangs out of my eyes and I smiled as I brought our lips together. “I love you Levi. So much.”

“I love you too, Eren. Now, let’s get some rest. Okay? We’ve got a convention to plan for.” He chuckled low before snuggling up against me and shutting his eyes.

“Alright. Sweet dreams, Levi.” I wrapped my arms around his protectively, caressing his hair as I did so.

“Sweet dreams, babe.”


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Road trip to the convention!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly fluff. I have no idea. I've been a bit sick, so plot? Aghhh I'll get back to that next chapter! <333
> 
> Enjoy the fluff and Eren and Levi cuddles <3

Eren’s POV

“ANIKI!!!” Isabel’s voice rung out through the bedroom over Levi’s phone as we packed the last minute things into our bags. I kept making faces at Levi, pointing to the hot pink suitcase in front of me silently so he could carry on his conversation with Isabel. He’d respond by shrugging, making a different face and pointing to his crotch. I’d end up giggling every time. “ANIKI, ARE YOU LISTENING?!?!”

“Yes, yes. Something about a wig cap?”

“YES! Do you have any?! I only have two!” Levi sighed as he gently folded his cloak and put in in his suitcase.

“No, I only have one and I’m keeping it. I’m sure that we can buy one when we get there Isabel.”

“I’M EXCITED!” He grinned at me.

“Me too.” I picked up the bright yellow coat off the bed and he just shook his head. This was definitely going to be interesting to see Levi in.

“YOU DON’T SOUND LIKE IT BRO!”

“I AM! Eren is distracting me!”

“EWWW!” His face went red and he growled at the phone.

“NOT LIKE THAT! Get your damn mind out of the gutter. We are looking at our cosplays!”

“Finish packing! I’m ready to goooo!”

“If you are ready, then walk to the store and get your wig cap!” Levi said as he folded up the yellow coat and placed it in his bag. “We’ve still got a few things to pack. You have time.”

“OKAY!!!” The line cut off and Levi groaned.

“What am I going to do with her?” I grinned and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him right up against me. “Mhmmm…you definitely know how to make the stress melt away, Jaeger.”

“Why are you stressing about the con?” I said against the top of his head. “It’s supposed to be fun!” He laughed and I felt his own arms twist around me.

“Maybe once we are all in the vehicles and on our way there, I’ll calm down a little. I get on edge before trips, remember. Especially with this many people. I feel like a damn mother.” I heard a bell beneath the bed and a little head poked out.

“MEEEEW.”

“You are a good mother Levi. A good cat mother.” He pulled his head back and raised an eyebrow at me. “Kirara loves you.” She began rubbing against our legs and we smiled at her. “So…who is this girl that will be watching her Levi?”

“She’s an odd one. Well, I know most of the people I know are odd…but she’s a mutual friend between me and Hanji. We had art history and design with her and just sort of hit it off. Her name is Sasha. She loves animals…and food. But that’s not the point.” I gave Levi an strange look. “She’s a sophomore as well, but she is an art education major. Just loves animals. Works at the pet store, actually, so it was a no brainer to ask her to pet sit.

“Wait…just how many-“

“Ugh…” Levi scratched the back of his head and looked at the floor. “Well that’s the thing. She went kind of crazy. She got excited about the convention saying she would sit as many as we needed and well…as it turns out…”

“LEVI!” My eyes went wide.

“There are quite a few. It’ll be the last stop on the way out of town. Of course we have Kirara. Erwin has Sonny. Hanji has Bean. Armin just got that damn rat-“

“It’s a guinea pig, Levi.”

“Guinea pig. Whatever. Isabel and Farlan have a dog and a cat as well. Marco doesn’t have anything luckily.”

“Marco’s going too?!” I had seriously been out of the loop.

“He paid for his own ticket. Guess he couldn’t stand to be away from horse-Ugh I mean Jean for the weekend.”

“Be nice Levi.” He relaxed against me further and I dropped my head down, lips resting against his neck.

“Mhmm…keep doing that and I’ll do whatever you say.” He chuckled low and it sent a shiver down my spine. My phone started ringing and startled us, but we stayed together for a moment as we listened to the first bit of the song. I groaned, not wanting to pull away from Levi.

_“So you can't fly if you never try_

_You told me...Oh, Long ago_

_But you left the wall_

_Outside the gate_

_So more than ever, it's real!”_

“It’s Mikasa, that’s her ringtone. I need to answer.” I simply pulled him with me, rather than pulling away from him and he giggled. I put it on speaker and tossed it on the bed, wrapping my arm back around Levi.

“Hello?”

“EREN!”

“What’s wrong?!”

“I…I don’t know what to do!”

“About what?!”

“My….My boobs!” I looked at Levi and I struggled to keep a laugh in. I clamped a hand over his mouth and watched his eyes squeeze shut.

“What’s wrong with them?!”

“They…for my cosplay! I’m cosplaying Sasuke Eren! OPEN SHIRT Sasuke! WHAT DO I DO?! I DIDN’T THINK THIS THROUGH!!!” Levi frowned and took a step closer to the phone.

“If you’ll let me, I’ll help you Mikasa.”

“L-LEVI?! YOU HAVE ME ON SPEAKER?!”

“Yes.” I rubbed Levi’s back as I heard her pause.

“Y-You know how to fix me, Levi?” She said in a panicked tone.

“Well….you aren’t broken by any means, but I can help you with your binding, yes. You have to trust me though. What day are you doing it?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Okay. We can find a store by then.”

“A STORE?”

“Yes…just trust me. We’ll be to pick you up in a little while. Just calm down and finish packing.”

“O-Okay.” Levi hung the phone up and shook his head.

“Who gave you permission to look at my sister’s boobs?” He raised his eyebrow and yanked me right up against him with a devious grin.

  
“I figured I’d help out your sister who is panicking about her cosplay to make her happy. Seeing that tits do nothing for me, Jaeger. But, if I need permission…” I grinned and gave him a kiss.

“I’m joking. I’m happy that you care about my family Levi. Even little things can be a crisis to Mikasa.”

“Mhmm, they are my friends too Eren. Practically my family as well, so…” he swept my bangs back and smiled. “Your hair is getting so long.” I shrugged and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Anyways, let’s stop avoiding….this THING.” He motioned towards the suitcase and I sighed. I went into the bathroom and began throwing stuff to him out of the shower. All of the toiletries and liquids were going into a sealed bag in my suitcase, away from the cosplays in his.

We threw a few extra things in, being sure to pack my nightlight this time, and Levi caught Kirara and managed to get her into the carrier.

“RAWWWR. RAWWWRRR!!!!” He frowned as she stuck her paw through the bars at him.

“I’m sorry little girl! Papas need a few days away. We will make it up to you. I promise. Okay?”

“RAWWWWWWR.”

“OOOH. She’s pissed Levi.” He grimaced at the sound and carried the carrier over to the door.

“I think she knows that she’s not going to Erwin’s. He spoils her.” I packed up her food and sat her bag by the door, along with our suitcases and Levi’s messenger bag. We heard Erwin pull into the driveway, and we tugged our suitcases outside, alone with Kirara’s carrier. “What the-“

“It’s a guinea pig cage.” Erwin said as he climbed out. Just as he did, Farlan and Isabel pulled up to the curb and waved.

“ANIKI!!!! ARE YOU READY!!?”

“Just about!” We sat Kirara on Mikasa’s lap as we crammed our suitcases into the back. Erwin’s car was stuffed. Levi’s bag was still over his shoulder, so that wasn’t a big issue. “This is going in the back with us anyway.” Mikasa was riding in the back with us and Hanji was up front with Erwin. Not to mention a meowing trio of cats.

In the other car, Armin rode with Jean, Marco, Farlan and Isabel. The cage rattled on top of the car as we drove to the girl’s house.

“Did you pick up the cake Erwin?”

“Yes, it’s by Hanji’s feet up here.”

“MEOOOOOW.”

“MEEEEW!”

“RAAAAAWR!”

“Eren, your cat is weird. Normal cats don’t make that sound.” Mikasa said as she looked in at Kirara.

“She’s excited to play with her friends!” We pulled into the driveway of a pretty big house and a brunette came bursting out of the house.

“KITTIES AND PUPPIES AND GUINEA PIGS!” It took us a good 20 minutes to unload all of the animal luggage and for Armin to set up his cage for the little tan guinea pig.

“So why wouldn’t your grandfather feed him?” I asked as he set the bowl of food in its cage and closed the door behind it.

“He’s scared of it for some reason. I’m not sure.” Armin shrugged and we joined the others by the door as Levi was giving Sasha the cake as a thank you. She hugged Levi and he tried to pry away. He handed her an envelope, no doubt filled with some cash.

“Okay! We’ve got to head out Sasha! Thanks again!” Levi bolted towards me and we waved goodbye to all of the sad faces in the carriers.

 

We stood outside in the driveway and Levi leaned against Erwin’s car.

“Okay, I really am going to be a mom for a second. So everyone has their passes right?” Everyone began rummaging and eventually found them and agreed. “And money?” Another slew of yeahs. “Stoves turned off. Fish fed.”

“OKAY LEVI CAN WE GO!!!” Isabel said with a hop. He smirked and nodded.

Two hours into the trip, Mikasa was already frowning at Hanji’s ‘enthusiasm’ and at Erwin’s jokes. Only 4 more hours to go until we got to Pittsburg.

“Eren, I have a headache.” I frowned at her and offered her the edge of our blanket.

“Try to rest?” She gave the blanket a disgusted look.

“No telling what you’ve done under that with him. No thanks.” My eyes went wide and she crossed her arms.

“Are you hungry? Did you eat breakfast?”

“No I didn’t eat.” Bingo.

“Erwin, let’s stop for lunch.” Levi suggested. “I’m getting hungry too. We didn’t eat either.” Although our reason was completely different. We were too busy making faces at each other and kissing, oh and of course procrastinating from packing the rest of our things.

“How about….pizza?” Erwin suggested as he spotted the sign up ahead. Levi just shrugged and I looked over to Mikasa.

“I don’t care.”

“Sounds good!” He put on his blinker so Farlan would see him turning and sure enough, they followed us right off the exit and into the restaurant parking lot. It was pretty busy for lunch. We all sat together at a long table, and I was pretty much crammed right up against Levi’s lap because they barely had enough space to fit us all at the small restaurant.

“A little close huh, Jaeger?” He smirked at me and I felt a finger run up my side. I shivered and leaned against him.

“Oh come on, Levi! I know you don’t mind me being close.” He chuckled and looked over the menu then shrugged and lifted it up in front of me. Hell, we were so close anyway, it just made sense to share.

“Hmm…looks like someone’s not ordering off the menu…” Levi whispered in my ear.

“STOP MAKING THAT FACE AT EREN!” Mikasa said before she bit into a breadstick. “I don’t want to go this whole trip seeing him being molested by you every minute!” My face went red and I whimpered.

“I-I DON’T MIND IT THOUGH!!!” I’m sure everyone in the restaurant was staring at us now, so I just buried my face in Levi’s shoulder.

“Smooth one, Romeo.”

“UGH….So…who were you talking about?” I whispered it softly when I was sure everyone had returned to their own conversations.

“Just use your eyes. You’ll catch on. It’s plain as day.” I looked around the table. Farlan and Isabel were sitting next to each other, bickering over the last breadstick. Jean and Marco were trying to decide over what toppings to pick. Armin was explaining to Mikasa about how pizza originated in Italy and how it is completely different than the pizza we eat here. Hanji was excitedly talking to Erwin about sauce, but Erwin…Erwin had his eyes locked on Armin telling his story directly across the table. My eyes went wide and I shoved my face back towards Levi’s neck.

“But…But I thought he was-“

“I never said that.” Levi whispered low. Thankfully the restaurant was so busy that the volume from the crowds was loud enough to cover up our hushed conversation on the end of the table. “I just said that he never wanted to be with me. He’s never actually come out and told me anything about his romantic interests but…” Levi peeked over the menu before glancing back at the crust options. “Obviously he has a thing for the blondie.” I felt my face going hot and I reach for Levi’s hand under the table.

“M-Maybe he’s just interested in the story?”

“Oh please, Eren. We both know that’s bullshit.” Levi said with a smirk. “No one wants to hear about pizza with olive oil. That’s just gross.” He chuckled and ruffled my hair. “Now, what do you want?”

“Just cheese on my half I think.”

“They have a triple cheese. How about that?” I nodded and Levi flipped the menu shut. “Stuffed crust?”

“Is that even a question?” He grinned and hugged me around the waist.

“I knew there was a reason I met you.”

 

 

After lunch we were back in the car. Miraculously, Mikasa had somehow managed to switch with Armin and wound up with Jean and Marco in the back of the other car. Hanji ate herself into a pizza coma, so to no surprise, Erwin suggested she sit in the back with us and sleep in off, putting Armin up front with him. Hanji was asleep almost as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot, and I snuggled closer to Levi in the back, settling into his arms under our blanket.

“So, you are a park ranger?” Armin asked excitedly. Levi groaned and gave me a bored look.

“Here they go.” He said with a frown.

“Yes! Well a ranger in training!”

“Tell me about it! I’ve read a few books about….” Levi rolled his eyes and I chuckled as he pulled his ipod out of his bag for us.

“Look. New and improved!” He said as he held up the new fitting. He bought a splitter, so we could both use a set of earphones with the single ipod. He plugged everything in and set the playlist up before we settled back down. I leaned against him, and felt him press a kiss to the top of my head.

_I can be the peanut butter to your jelly  
I can be the butterflies you feel in your belly_

 

I looked up to Levi with a stupid grin on my face and giggled, even though I knew he probably couldn’t hear me, but he could see the ridiculous smile on my face. He pressed a kiss to my forehead, going completely unnoticed by the passed out Hanji next to us, and the chatting boys up front.

_I can be the captain and you can be the first mate  
I always get a chill when I think of our first date_

 

Captain and first mate. I smiled and Levi smirked. He was definitely my Captain, that was for sure. I would follow him through anything, whether we were in our survey corps uniforms or not. He leaned his forehead against mine and pulled me closer.

_I can be the hero, you can be the sidekick_

_I can be the tear that you cry if we ever split_

 

I didn’t even want to think about us breaking up, because I knew that it just wasn’t an option. I felt Levi’s hand searching for mine under the blanket and I knew he was having the same thought. He mouthed a _never_ to me and I nodded as our fingers intertwined.

_I can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin'  
Or I can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'_

 

Levi leaned down and brought our lips together finally, soft lips brushing against mine gently before he pulled away. I smiled up at him before I reach my hand up to rub at his fresh undercut. He’d just trimmed it last night, but it was as soft as ever, not too short. Just perfect.

_Don't know if I could ever be_  
Without you coz girl you complete me  
In time I know that we'll both see  
That we're all we need

 

He shut his eyes for a moment as I just ran my hand through his hair, playing with his undercut, then moving on to the longer strands and his bangs. I tucked his bangs behind his ear and he opened his eye to grin at me.

_Coz you're the apple to my pie_  
You're the straw to my berry  
You're the music to my life  
And you're the one I wanna marry

 

As soon as the word played our eyes connected and my heart thumped. My eyes went wide and Levi blushed. He scratched at the back of his head and the pink started spreading from his cheeks and nose, to his neck and ears. He knew I noticed, and I just smiled and brought our lips together again. Levi was adorable. And he was all mine. This time I took control of the kiss, taking the opportunity to catch Levi in a bit of a stunned state. I licked over his lip and slid my tongue into his, delicately swiping over his. Caressing, flicking, tasting. If Erwin or Armin were telling us to stop, we sure as hell couldn’t hear them. And we sure as hell didn’t care.

_Coz you're the one for me, for me_  
And I'm the one for you, for you  
You take the both of us, of us  
And we're the perfect two

 

I pulled back to take a break and Levi’s face was red now. His eyes were wide and he was holding on to my shirt. I ran my fingers along his jaw and smiled. Why was he embarrassed all of a sudden? Levi of all people? I pressed one final kiss to his lips and settled back against his side. He cracked the window on his side of the car to let in some air, probably to calm his red face.

_We're the perfect two_  
We're the perfect two  
Baby me and you  
We're the perfect two

 

I felt his chin rest against the top of my head and I shut my eyes. I thought about how soon, we would be in our room at the hotel and we would be attending the convention tomorrow. Before I knew it, I was asleep.

“Eren. Babe, wake up.”

“No. Warm. Just a little longer.” The blanket was being pulled off of me, and Levi was smiling.

“We are here. Don’t you want to get settled into our room?” I groaned and felt Levi slip away from me with a chuckle. I guess there really wasn’t an option after all. I rubbed at my eyes and followed him out of the car. I grabbed my suitcase and rolled after him. He checked into the hotel for everyone, and dealt out the room keys.

“I WANT TO STAY WITH ANIKI!!!” Levi shot Isabel a glare.

“We already went over this. Eren and I are rooming alone. We barely have enough time together as it is, so this is a vacation for us. It’s one of his birthday presents.”

“LEVIIIII!!!” Isabel stomped her foot and Levi crossed his arms.

“Just be thankful that Levi paid for you to go.” Farlan warned as he tugged on Isabel’s arm. “Say thank you, twerp!”

“THANK YOU LEVI!” A smile twitched at the edges of Levi’s lips and he nodded.

“Yeah yeah. Let’s just all get settled in. What floors did everyone end up on?” Mikasa looked at her set of room keys.

“Seventh floor.” She would be staying with Jean, Marco and Armin.

“Same!” Isabel hopped and showed Levi her card. “Seventh floor!” Levi rolled his eyes.

“We’re on the 8th. I guess that’s the top floor?”

“AWW! Why aren’t you on the 7th?!” She groaned as she looked at her card. Erwin shook his head and started rolling his suitcase towards the elevator.

“Does she ever stop?” he asked Farlan.

“Hmm…she runs out of juice eventually. I cut her off from caffeine around 6.”

“YOU GIVE HER CAFFEINE?!”

“It’s because the suites are on the top floor Isabel.”

“OOOOH Levi is fancy and had to get a SUITE. TOO classy to stay with us NORMAL people, HUH?” Levi raised an eyebrow at her.

“If you HAD to know why I got a suite, It’s because-“

“OH COME ON!” Mikasa yelled as she tugged Isabel away. “Let’s just go to our rooms!” Levi smirked and we waited for the next elevator up. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close to his side as he walked into the elevator.

“You look cute when you are sleepy. Your hair is a wreck.” I blinked a couple of times before I looked over at him. He still looked perfect. Any trace of sleep that had been on his face was gone. He’d combed his hair and fixed his eyeliner already. Well he looked almost completely perfect…aside from a strange stain on his shoulder. “Oh that stain? Yeah, that’s from you.” My eyes went wide and I whimpered. “You drooled all over me in the car while you were asleep.” Levi laughed and ruffled my already destroyed hair. “You are lucky you are adorable, Jaeger. If it was anyone else, they’d be dead.”

“I’m sorry, Levi!” He grinned at me right as the door to the elevator chimed and we walked out to the 8th floor. We found our room and Levi opened the door for us.

“Home sweet home.” It was a pretty modern room. Nice and updated, and the best part was everything looked clean. “Bathroom or bed?” I groaned and ran my hand through my hair.

“Leviiiii….”he parked his bag by the bathroom door and dug out the sheet set.

“Here. The bed’s easier.” He dug out his gloves and cleaning supplies and went to work. I split off and went to stripping the bed. I cringed when I saw a strange stain on the sheet. THAT’S why Levi wanted to use our own sheets. Point taken. Point fucking taken. Gross gross gross. Even at the high end hotel we are staying at that was STILL disgusting. I tossed the sheet across the room.

“GROSS!”

“Told you so!” I heard him scrubbing the shower. “Even if the room looks clean on the surface, it’s not. Even if it is clean, it’s still not clean up to our standards.” I finished placing the sheets and leaned against the frame of the bathroom door.

“It’s never cleaned up to your standards.” I said with a smirk. “Even my cleaning.” He leaned up from the sink and frowned.

“Your cleaning’s not bad actually. I can live with it.” I smiled as he tossed his sponge in the trash, washed his hands, and set the cans of cleaner aside.

“Done?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t that bad. It’s livable now. We won’t catch diseases. But-“ He tugged at the hem of my shirt. “A hot shower does sound nice before we get in the clean bed huh? Maybe a movie?”

“What about dinner?” Levi shrugged. “Why don’t we order in tonight? Just let the others fend for themselves, huh?” I grinned and wrapped my arms around his waist. I liked that idea. I liked that idea, a lot. Some quality time with Levi sounded great right now. He drew back only to tug my shirt over my head and I did the same to his, tossing them in the floor.

I glanced over in the mirror, even though I always wanted to avoid it, the person looking back at me looked strange from the person just a few months ago. The muscles in my arms were becoming a little more developed now, even if it was by a minuscule amount from our early morning work outs every other day. Just the easy stuff, because Levi didn’t want to push me too hard. Sit-ups, push-ups, and we’d even got a small weight set to work with. I was nothing compared to him though. Levi’s muscles were becoming more defined if I didn’t know better. My hair was really a mess and it fell in my eyes around my face. Levi smiled at me and turned my face from the mirror back to him, then proceeded to push the hair away from my eyes.

“Let me trim your bangs a little before graduation. They are in your eyes.” I nodded and he leaned up to press a kiss to my lips. “I want you to be able to see your diploma after all.” We stripped the rest of the way and Levi ran out to grab a random bottle of shampoo and body wash.

“I hope mine’s okay?”

“Why do I even bother to bring mine on these trips?” I asked with a grin. “We always end up in here together anyways.” He pushed me under the water and I felt my hair get wet. He popped the bottle open and poured some shampoo out.

“You’ve gotten quite the smart mouth lately. I wonder where you picked that up from.” He joked as he soaped my hair up.

“Only from Captain sarcastic himself.”

“Hey. That’s Captain Levi to you.” I felt my face go red and I fell silent.

“Captain…” He chuckled and pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

“No, that will be Saturday.” He rinsed my hair out before washing his own. “Tomorrow were planning on doing Black Butler still, right?” After doing a quick rinse, he starting washing me down, the familiar smell of his body wash drifting through the shower.

“If you want to. I’ll be the Sebby to your Ciel any day, Levi.” He grinned and I sighed as he ran the washcloth over me. I just shut my eyes and enjoyed it. It just felt so nice after the long car ride. He gently nudged me under the water and it ran over me, rinsing off the suds.

“Do I get a turn?” I opened my eyes to see Levi holding out the body wash to me. I grabbed a washcloth a soaped it up, before beginning to run it over him. He let out the same tired sigh, and I saw the tension is his shoulders relax a bit.

“Are you relaxed now that everyone is here and checked in?”

“Yeah, now that we’ve made it all safe. We are in walking distance to the convention. It’s just across the street, so we can pretty much all do what we want to now.” I smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I want to eat.”

“Me too.” We chuckled and I finished washing him from head to toe, then followed up with a good rinse. We dried off and threw on some pajamas. We jumped onto the now clean bed and I climbed into Levi’s arms.

“Okay brat, what do you want to eat?”

“Anything. Just food.”

“Chinese?”

“We always get Chinese.”

“You said anything!” I laughed and buried my face in his neck.

“I joking! Chinese is fine. I want cheese wantons. Like 20 of them.”

“You can’t have a dinner of just wantons. Pick something else.”

“Hmmm…General Tso’s Chicken.”

“Sounds good to me.” Levi rolled his eyes and dialed the number in his phone from the Chinese listing in the hotel directory. After he placed the order I pulled the covers up over us.

“Levi…”

“Hmmm?”

“Thanks…for this. For everything.” He looked into my eyes before nodding and kissing my forehead. “You don’t have to thank me, babe. You are worth everything. I enjoy being able to do things for you. And like I said before, this was one last hoorah from Dad’s card.” Levi smirked and I nodded.

“I know…but just the thought…” He hugged me tighter against his body and I practically melted. Levi was my world, and to see him smiling and to actually have things going right for a change meant everything to me. He leaned his forehead against mine for a moment, before pulling away to grab the remote.

“How about we find a movie to watch with dinner?” After searching and finally deciding on one, we waited for the food to show up before we finally ordered it. I managed to finish off the wantons and a good portion of the chicken, and Levi finished off the rest. There was only a little rice left over. We snuggled up in the king sized bed together after we finished dinner, right in the center.

“This seems so…”

“Weird?” Levi finished as he kept his eyes glued to the TV.

“Yeah. We’ve got this huge bed and we are still right next to each other in the center, just like our bed at home.” He nodded and pulled me even closer.

“I like being close. You’re warm.” That was the tipping point of the evening. What was supposed to be an evening of movies and cuddles, turned into me becoming drowsy against Levi’s chest. His finger’s found my hair.

“L-Levi…time is it?” I whispered, not really coherent, but trying to focus on the movie.

“6:15” I groaned and pushed myself closer to his side.

“So early.” He pulled the covers closer to me and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

“Take a nap. I’ll wake you in an hour. How about that?”

“But the snuggling and movie-“

“Rest Eren. You can catch the end another time.”

“Mhmm….” I shut my eyes the rest of the way, but strange things happen after a long day of traveling…boyfriends get tired too. I could have sworn I heard Levi’s soft snores start about the same time I slipped into my own peaceful rest.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of the con!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So here is my explanation! (Please don't throw things) Life has been happening at it's fullest.  
> -I got a new job  
> -My anxiety/depression has been weighing on me and it's been pretty hard to write some days.  
> -College is just CRAZY right now. It's the week before finals so I've been working on projects.  
> -I was SUPER sick last week also SOOOO
> 
> OKAY, So the two songs are-  
> Colors by Tritonal  
> Fire Meet Gasoline by Sia
> 
> This was 22 pages in word so ENJOY IT. O.O I wrote 15 of those in the last 7 hours. SOOO XD
> 
> And please be patient and hang in there with me while I finish up finals! Once summer hits, the updates will be frequent again! (Hopefully) ;) 
> 
> ALSO- THIS IS NOT EDITED BECAUSE....ITS 22 PAGES AND YEAH...NO

Eren’s POV

“ANIKI!!!!” My eyes popped open at the pounding on our door. Levi groaned next to me.

“Fuck…what time is it?” I rubbed at my eyes and looked over at the clock.

“It’s 9:30…” Levi groaned again and shoved a pillow over his head.

“ANIKI!!! EREN!!!! WAKE UP!!!” She pounded on the door and Levi huffed. He finally gave in and slung his legs over the side of the bed, furiously stomping to the door.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!” Tears welled up in Isabel’s eyes and Levi sighed. I ran over to the door, nearly tripping as I did so.

“N-Needed to talk to you….” Farlan was walking up the hallway behind her and he put a hand on her shoulder.

“I told you Isabel, first thing in the morning wasn’t a good time.” Levi combed his fingers through his hair and shook his head.

“No. No, I’m sorry…I just…not a morning person.” Levi groaned. “Sorry Isabel. Come in…Just let us brush our teeth first…” We stepped aside and let them both inside, walking towards the bathroom so we could quickly scrub the long night’s sleep and Chinese food away from our mouths and faces. We emerged feeling refreshed and plopped down on the bed. Isabel looked nervous. Farlan was frowning.

“What’s up?” I asked as I gave a smile. “Aren’t you guys excited about today?!” I was grinning from ear to ear now, seriously excited about day one of the convention.

“Well…we…we sort of have something to ask you guys…” Isabel grabbed Farlan’s hand with a nervous smile. “Well, something to tell and something to ask I guess…” She gave his hand a squeeze and Levi’s eyebrows furrowed. We were both thoroughly confused.

“I…I’m pregnant!” She grinned and gave a small hop, waiting for our reactions. Levi was utterly shocked. I was shocked too, but I couldn’t help the grin that appeared across my face.

“Congratulations!!!” I hopped up and wrapped my arms around her in a hug. I looked towards Levi and he did the same. She gave another hop and jumped into his arms.

“We’re having a baby Aniki!!!” Levi raised an eyebrow at her.

“You and Farlan are having the baby…I hope.” He said with a chuckle.

“That’s what I meant!!!” She was grinning like crazy and squeezing him around the waist.

“Aren’t you going to ask them, Isabel?” Farlan asked with a smile.

“OH YEAH! Levi, Eren…would you be the godparents if something were to happen to us?” Levi’s eyes went wide and he took a step back from Isabel.

“G-Godparents?!” His eyebrow twitched.

“Yes! Well…Both of our parents sort of…once they found out were expecting and weren’t married…well anyways!” Isabel rubbed nervously at the back of her head, then her hand went to her stomach. “So we were trying to think of someone who could watch over our little girl if something were to happen to us and we couldn’t think of anyone better than you two!” Levi’s eyes stayed wide. My mouth had to have been gaped open as I stared at him. “We can tell how much you love each other, and we would want her raised in a house full of love. You are both responsible and caring. You both love anime of course!” Isabel smiled. “Just like mommy and daddy.” Levi blinked a couple of times and looked at me.

“A-A kid?!” his voice cracked a little in disbelief. The smile stayed on Isabel’s face. I took a step closer to Levi.

“Their little girl, Levi…” I corrected. He swallowed hard and looked me in the eyes.

“I don’t know about this Eren…w-what do you think?” I took his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze.

“I think that you would be a great dad, Levi. I would be there to help you of course.”

“And it’s only if something were to happen to us!” Isabel said with a thumbs up. “So it’s not that big of a deal really.” Levi nodded and gave my hand a squeeze. I stared straight into warm grey, filled to the brim with uncertainty.

“Eren…if you are sure about this. Then…then it’s a yes from me.” I grinned and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“A yes from me as well!”

“WOOHOO!” Isabel gave another small hop before she just froze in place to stare at us. “You know I never thought-“ She put her hands over her face as tears began to pour out. “That I’d find such wonderful friends running my dream shop. But I did! I’m so glad!” She smiled and all three of us wrapped her in a hug.

“Okay!” She pulled away and wiped her face. “Enough tears! Time for cosplay! Let’s get ready!” She bounced out of the room along with Farlan trailing after her, leaving me and leaving me and Levi to stare at each other.

“So….” I gripped his hand and gave him a soft smile.

“Godparents huh?” He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. The room was silent and empty around us now, so I drew closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him closer.

“Come on Levi! It’s not a bad thing.” He chuckled against my neck, a sound that sent chills down my spine and relaxed into my arms.

“You are crazy, Eren. You know that!” I grinned and took a deep breath, enjoying the scent of his shampoo and body wash that clung so close to him.

“Mhmm…crazy about you.” I felt his lips tug against my neck and I inched my fingers under the hem of his shirt.

“Watch it Jaeger or we won’t make it to the convention at all today.” He snickered against my neck and I let my hands fall from his shirt. I heard my phone ring and ran to it. Mikasa was on the other end.

“Eren! Are you two still going to help me?!” I looked to Levi and he nodded.

“Yes! We just have to run to the store. Give us like…I don’t know, 20 minutes or something?!” I hung up and ran over to Levi. “MIKASA’S BOOBS!!!” His eyes went wide and he grabbed his wallet. We shoved our feet into our shoes before dashing down the hall to borrow Erwin’s keys. After we grabbed the supplies the Levi rambled off, along with a box of granola bars, we drove back to the hotel and brought her back to our room with her cosplay in tow.

Levi threw the bag of supplies on the bed and tore the box of granola bars open and began to munch one. I grabbed one as well and Mikasa eyed us.

“What?” He asked seriously. “We missed breakfast.”

“Can’t you take this seriously?!” Her face was turning red. Levi took the last bite of his granola bar, before throwing the wrapper in the trash and running into the bathroom to wash his hands. I ran after him to do the same. I had no idea what I was doing though.

“Eren…what are you doing?” He asked with a chuckled.

“I have no clue. Just whatever you are…show me what to do.”

“Well first off, make sure she doesn’t punch me.” I raised my eyebrow as we dried our hands and made our way back to Mikasa. Levi opened up the box of gauze and rolls of sports tape and her face got more red.

“You sure you trust me, Mikasa?” Levi asked as he cracked open the packaging on a pair of scissors.

“Ugh…yeah…” Levi sighed.

“Alright. Shirt off then.”

“UGH…maybe I can j-just…” Levi rolled his eyes and Mikasa squeezed her eyes tight.

“Listen. Do you want to be Sasuke?” She nodded and I gave her a pat on the back. “Then trust me. I’m not here to see your boobs, obviously. If I wanted to see those, then I wouldn’t be dating your brother.”

“GROSS!” Her eyes flew open, but her shirt also flew off and into the floor. She covered herself with her arm and she turned her face away. Levi trimmed the gauze and sports tape. “I don’t want to hear about that!”

“Stick these on.” Levi said with a grin as he reach her the tape covered gauze. She stuck it on with a cringe, and after he fixed the other, she did the same. “Alright, I’m going to start taping. Tell me if it’s too tight. Seriously. If it’s uncomfortable AT ALL.” He gave her a stern look and she nodded.

I held the roll for him and occasionally the scissors as he stretched, cut and taped. Eventually, she was all tucked in where she needed to be.

“Alright. Go ahead and put the cosplay on. See how it hangs.” Levi said as he watched her. She slid into the robe and sure enough, it hung right where it needed to, leaving her chest bare and flat. “Good to go. Go check it out.” She ran into the bathroom and we heard her squeak.

“THANK YOOOOU!!!” Her arms flew around Levi and he grinned. “It’s perfect!!!”

“No problem! Now go on. We need to get ready too.” She grinned and flew out of the room. By this time, it was pretty late in the day. We stripped down and jumped in the shower, for once using it for it’s intended purpose. We washed quickly and bolted out, helping each other dry off. I watched as Levi slung out everything we’d need onto the counter for our cosplay, besides our actual outfits.

I pulled my underwear on and quickly combed out my hair. Levi did the same, and we both put on our wig caps and pinned them in place. He evened out my skin tone a little and paused before he picked up his eyeliner.

“You need to put your contacts in first. In case your eyes water. Your eyeliner will run.” I frowned and grabbed the case. Like I’d ever put contacts in before. It was a good 5 minutes before I stopped freaking out about something going in my eye, and astonishingly they were actually comfortable.

“How do they look?” Levi frowned and pulled me close to him.

“You don’t look like my Eren anymore…” He was fucking pouting and it was adorable. I leaned in to kiss him and he gladly accepted.

“You won’t look like yourself either soon, but you’ll still be all mine, right? It doesn’t change the way I feel about you.” Levi grinned and I hugged him tight. “Let’s have a good time today!” He nodded and I kissed the top of his head. He applied my eyeliner and pulled away just in time for us to be disturbed by a knock on our door.

“EREN! LEVI!” It was Hanji. “Are you ready?”

“Maybe another half hour?” Levi said as he glanced at himself. “I don’t even have my contacts in. If everyone else is ready go on ahead. We’ll walk over and meet you.”

“Okie dokie!!!” We heard skipping down the hallway and Levi just shook his head. Levi helped me with my wig and I began combing it out and adjusting it as he started his own contacts. He decided to go with Ciel’s mismatched contacts instead of the eyepatch so he could actually see. He started doing his own makeup and I walked out of the bathroom so I could start putting on my suit.

Levi emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, wig precisely in place, makeup perfectly done, and knee-high socks pulled up just right. I was adjusting my vest as he walked over.

“We aren’t going to reenact the corset scene are we?” I asked with a smirk.

“NO. Not today at least.” Levi said with a smirk. I sneaked a peak at his ass as he walked by me and to the bed to put on the rest of his cosplay. “You like what you see…Sebastian?” He said with a grin. I blushed and nodded. “I have this aching feeling that we are going to get hordes of fangirls today.”

“What makes you say that?” I buttoned the last button on my vest and Levi slid into his shorts. Oh…Levi in shorts…that was new. I grinned as I watched him stare at his legs. He shrugged.

“Maybe I’m wrong. Who knows?” Levi started buttoning up his own coat, but his style was completely different. I helped him tie the bow at his collar and he once again tied my tie for me. We slid on our shoes, stuffed our wallets in our pockets and grabbed our VIP badges. “Alright, ready to go demon boyfriend of mine?”

“Sure.” I winked and we left the room, making our way to the convention center across the street.

“LOOK!!! IT’S SEBASTIAN AND CIEL!!! OH! MY! GOD!”

“See what I mean?” Levi said with a smirk as he leaned closer to me, giving my hand a squeeze.

“THEY ARE HOLDING HAAAAANDS!!!! PICTURE!! AGHHHH!!!!” Levi frowned and I felt my face flush.

“At least ask us first!” Levi barked.

“Can we have a picture?!” He looked to me and I nodded and we let go of hands to stand beside of each other. The camera clicked and the girl thanked us.

“Alright, let’s get to-“

“LEVIIIIIIIII!!!!” Hanji crashed into us and I caught Levi before he fell.

“Careful Hanji!” She cackled and apologized.

“We’re here! We’re here!” Hanji was dressed as Kurisu from Steins;Gate. We really didn’t expect anything less from her. “JELLY BANANAS LEVI!!!”

“Ciel.”

“JELLY BANANAS CIEL! AND SEBASTIAN!!!”

“JELLY BANANAS!!!” Erwin walked up calmly with a blushing Mikasa and woah…

“HOLY SH-“ I clasped my hand over Levi’s mouth as Armin walked up with a blush and looked away. Levi ripped my hand away and took a step forward. “Nice legs, Arlert.” Armin’s eyes went wide.

“Hey!” I poked Levi in the shoulder and he smirked.

“I’m just complimenting his cosplay, relax.” I nodded and smiled at Armin.

“Wow, you went all out!” His face kept cascading through various shades of red. “Temari, right?” He nodded.

“Do you think I look okay, Eren?” Armin barely looked up into my eyes and I grinned.  


“I think you look great! Levi, picture please?!” Levi nodded and fished his phone out of his pocket. We took a few photos together then I stepped back to admire his hair. “Have you ever actually thought about wearing it in a ponytail? I think it would look nice.” Erwin raised a curious eyebrow as he listened in on our conversation.

“No I haven’t. Maybe I’ll try it out one day! Do you and Levi want a couple of pictures?”

“Sure!” I jumped back to Levi’s side and we took a couple of serious photos, before he wrapped his arm around my waist and we both smiled….the creepy thing was Armin wasn’t the only one taking pictures now. Levi raised a curious eyebrow and just shrugged.

“Guess they want a show brat.” My eyes went wide as Levi’s hand found my hip.

“Le-MPPH” He brought our lips together in nothing more than peck on the lips and quite a few cameras clicked around us. I felt my face flush and I just wanted to duck my head to Levi’s shoulder and hide. I felt my heart pounding, rushing. My blooding streaming WAY too fast. Way too many people around us. I reach for his hand with my shaky one and gave it a squeeze. My chest was closing up. I needed air. Sure we were outside, but I needed space, needed to be alone with Levi. Just needed to breathe.

“Okay, okay. Enough pictures. Sebastian says we have to go to registration.”

“AWWWW.” I felt a kiss on my cheek and I finally ducked my head onto his shoulder.

“You alright?” I desperately shook my head. I didn’t want to look up at the crowd. Didn’t want to look up at the eyes. “Armin, I’m taking him inside in the air conditioning. Maybe it’ll help.” Armin handed his phone back and gave a nod and I felt a tug at my fingers as Levi pulled me inside. They checked out VIP badges and after a very quick sign in, he tugged me to the bathroom. There were STILL people. Fucking people everywhere. Guys adjusting their cosplays and wigs in the mirror. Levi grimaced and tugged me down to the stall on the end and locked us inside.

“Tch, this place is filthy.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and tugged me close. “Come on, take a deep breath. I know it’s not the best place to try and do this, but just focus on me, okay?” I felt so overwhelmed. I felt smothered. “Here.” Levi loosened my tie and helped me out of my coat, leaving me in just my vest. He hung it on the hook on the door and I took a shaken breath before pulling him close again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think the picture would-“

“No...No it’s just all of the people here. This would have happened anyway I think.” He nodded and kissed my cheek. Gentle fingers caressed my cheek and I let out a sigh and took a shaky breath.

“That’s it. Take another breath.” Someone knocked on the stall door and I shrunk against Levi.

“YOU MIND HURRYING UP IN THERE?” I felt the little but of air I’d regained, leak right out of my lungs in an instant.

“Use another one. This one’s taken!” Levi growled.

“Like I can’t see the pair of feet!!” He gripped my hand tight and ripped open the door.

“EXCUSE ME?! How about you shut the FUCK UP?” Levi pushed him up against the wall and grabbed m blazer before tugging me out of the stall by my hand. “Sorry if I was helping my boyfriend through his panic attack. But that doesn’t matter to you asshole!” Levi flipped him off and tugged me out of the bathroom. We were back out in the hallway, packed full of people and tables. Artists selling their stuff. Levi curled his arm around my waist and ushered me through the hallway of people, down into an empty room that had a few chairs.

“Fuck….” I collapsed into a chair and Levi kneeled down at my feet. “Eren, babe. Look at me.” My face was in my hands and I couldn’t bare to look up. I was already ruining this whole convention for him. I felt his delicate fingers tilt my chin up and I felt completely broken. “Shit…what did I say? Tears would mess up your makeup, right?” He smiled softly at me and I let out a small laugh. “But I can fix it, no big deal. I’m here Eren.” I felt his arms around my waist and his head was leaning against my thigh. Levi would never leave me when I needed him. Never. He would always be that anchor. I sniffled and took in a shaky breath.

“There you are!” A spiky orange haired Erwin peered through the doorway. He walked in, and I noticed the rest of his cosplay, a completely black outfit. He was _Shusei Kagari_ from Psycho Pass. “We were pretty worried. You just ran off…you alright Eren?” I looked up to Erwin as he put a hand on my shoulder and I took in another shaky breath and nodded.

“He’s pretty shaken up.” Levi admitted. “There are a lot of people here.”

“Just take your time and breathe.” Erwin said as he sat down beside me. “Think of it this way, none of those people out there will judge you for your cosplay Eren. Everyone is here because they all love anime, so we all have something in common already.” Levi nodded and wiped my tears. “Just focus on the anime and have a great time!” I nodded and Armin poked his head through the door also.

“You found them?!”

“Yeah.” Armin plopped down on the other side of me and smiled.

“Feeling a little better?” I nodded and Levi smiled up at me.

“I’ll be right back, babe.” My heart dropped for a second as Levi walked out of the room, but a few seconds later he returned with a wet paper towel and began wiping at my face, fixing my eyeliner. His hands were so gentle, so soft. I felt my heart slowing down to a gentle thrum finally, relying on the support of my friends and that ever present support in my life. My rock. My rock that was currently wearing shorts and knee highs… “You’re blushing Eren.” Levi gave me a small smile and I nodded as he took my hand and rested it against my thigh.

“ANIKI!!!”

“Dear God…” Levi shook his head for a second as Isabel leapt into the room.

“Isabel! Don’t just run off like that!” Farlan barked as he ran in after her.

“GUYS!” Mikasa’s voice growled after them and Hanji even jumped into the room as well. FUCK. I gave Levi’s hand a squeeze and Erwin gave my shoulder a pat.

“Hey, quiet down a little.” Erwin suggested. “We’re in here to get away from the noise outside, so just keep it down.” I trembled a little under his touch, under the hand on my shoulder that wasn’t Levi’s but I needed to get used to it. Erwin wouldn’t hurt me. He was the complete opposite. Erwin was a friend. Just like Armin who was leaning against me on the other side with a smile. I nodded and Levi kneeled down again next to my legs, keeping my hand tucked securely in his own. Even though his eyes were a foreign color, they were looking up at me with the same adoration as always. The same love.

“Is Eren alright?” Mikasa asked immediately as she walked over.

“I’m fine now, just panicked from all the people.” I took a steady breath and Levi gave my hand a kiss. She gave me a concerned look. But nodded and stepped back.

“Alright, maybe we should just leave them alone for a while? Give them some space.” Erwin suggested as he stood up.

“BUT I WANT-“

“Isabel, we have the whole weekend to spend together. How about we go to a panel?” Erwin suggested as he linked arms with her.”

“SURE!!!” She beamed and waved goodbye to us as Erwin winked and waved as well as he took bouncing ball of energy out of the room. Armin ushered the rest of the group out of the room, leaving me and Levi alone.

“How are you feeling?” He reach a hand up and brushed his fingertips against my cheek.

“A lot better now. Calmer. I can breathe.”

“That’s great babe. Do you want to rest a little longer or try to go out to the convention now?” He smiled warmly at me, no pressure at all in his words and I swallowed hard.

“We…we can go out. Will you hold my hand?”

“I’ll hold you as close as you want me to.” He said with a smirk as he stood up and pressed a kiss to my lips. “Whenever you are ready we’ll go.” I nodded and took a deep breath before standing. Levi took my hand into his before we ventured out into the crowded hallway and I continued my deep breaths.

“Eren, if you want to stop and look at anything, just let me know.” I nodded again and drew closer to his side. He grabbed a schedule from one of the stands and we stepped to an empty section of the hall. “See any of these panels that look interesting?” I looked over the selections.

  *          _Cosplay Sewing Basics_
  *          _Pokemon Game Show_
  *          _Draw Your Own Fan Art Contest_
  *          _Anime Yoga_



Of course the game room was always an option as well as the artist alley and the vendor room. The viewing rooms were also open

“How about-“

“Don’t even think about yoga brat.” Levi said with a smirk. I frowned as my selection was immediately shot down. “We are both pretty much in full suits. It won’t work out. Trust me.” That was true. Damn.

“How about the draw your own fan art contest?” Levi smirked and gave my hand a squeeze.

“Sounds good to me. Let’s go!” He tightened his grip around my hand and navigated our way through the crowded hallways. I stuck close to his side and even bumped right into his back when he had to suddenly stop a few times, but he made no sign of minding.

“Is this the fan art room?” Levi asked curiously as we walked in.

“Sure is! Feel free to use whatever materials we have available!” He smiled softly at me and I returned it. There were only a few people in here and thankfully quite a few spacious tables. We grabbed some paper and some supplies and sat down at the table in the far front corner. There was a familiar song playing and the lady who was running the panel went to her laptop and adjusted the volume, turning it up so we could hear it.

“Angel Beats.” Levi said with a grin.

“Oh yeah!” we were both sketching out our compositions in pencil first and I was using Levi as the model for mine. Hell, I might as well since he looked just like the captain anyway. He kept sneaking glances at me and my only guess was that he was drawing the shifter. “Levi…are you drawing-“

“The shifter?”

“Yeah.”

“And you?”

“The captain.” He grinned and shook my head.

“Are you using me as a model, brat?” I smirked and sat my pencil on the table.

“Maybe…are you doing the same?” He grinned and nodded. I laughed and grabbed my chair, switching it to the opposite side so I was across from him. “Better? Now we can just look at each other!” He let out that perfect laugh and I smiled. “You may look different in you cosplay, but I’ll never forget the way you look every day.”

“Same goes for you babe.” He said with a smile. “Even down to the way your hair falls. I won’t forget a single strand.” I blushed and picked my pencil up as I avoided Levi’s eyes so I could calm the burning in my cheeks.

Pencil met paper, then when I was finally pleased with my final composition, I inked the whole thing. I erased the pencil underneath and reach for the markers, beginning to fill in piece with bright colors and skin tones. Levi on the other hand inked his original pencil lines, erased the pencil and kept working solely with the pen and a black marker, keeping his whole composition in black and white as usual. It looked straight out of a manga and I knew I was done for.

I sighed and just decided to have fun with mine. I liked the way it was turning out, and mimicked the brilliant greys and slight hint of blue in Levi’s irises. The curve of his thick eyelashes. The way his bangs fell delicately by his eyes. The undercut that looked so rough, but felt so unbelievably soft. I couldn’t leave out that remarkable sheen to his hair. I added shadows and hints of pink. The tones that really only rose in his skin for me, but who cared, I already lost to him anyway. This piece was going to end up in my sketchbook at home, so I was going to make it for myself and for Levi.

I remembered how his uniform rested perfectly on his shoulders, how his cravat cradled his neck perfectly. Around his shoulders, clasped together in the front by a silver pin was his green cloak. I added a simple blue/grey background, one that would make his eyes pop and and wrote my contact information lightly in pencil on the back like she had told us to do. Levi was finishing up at the same time as me, and I turned my paper over at the same time that he did and his eyes lit up. I beamed at his illustration, practically one of me and I just wanted to wrap my arms around him.

“We HAVE to take a picture with these, Eren.”

“It’s kind of hard, Levi.” I said as I adjusted my wig. It was a bit itchy, but otherwise comfortable.

“Hey! Can you take a picture of us?!” Levi asked with a grin to the panel host.

“Absolutely!” She ran over with a grin. “Holy shit! Those are amazing!” I sat down beside of Levi on his side of the table and he draped his arm around me as we both held up our pieces. “Smile!” We definitely did and after she took the picture and handed Levi’s phone back to him, he kissed my cheek and I ducked my head down against the crook of his neck.

“So embarrassed today.” He mumbled to me. I reach for his hand and he gently took it, pressing another kiss to my forehead. “But I’m happy to have you by my side either way, Eren.” I felt my face turn crimson red as I whimpered and he chuckled.

“Mhmm Levi….” He rubbed his thumb over my hand and I smiled against his neck.

“Are you two finished with these?” The lady came back to our table and I shot up from Levi’s neck.

“Y-Yes.”

“Sweet! I’ll hang them up on the submission wall for judging! Good luck! Drop by tomorrow and check it out to see who got 1st, 2nd, and 3rd! If you aren’t here by 5pm, we will call you!” She winked at us and took our pieces away.

“I’m going to lose to you.” I groaned as I pressed my head against the table.

“Says who? Your piece was brilliant Eren. Your style is fucking magnificent. I love it. Sure my style is very…traditional, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to win. People judged differently based on what they like.”

“But yours was so…perfect.” Levi’s eyes narrowed at me and my eyes went wide.

“I…I didn’t mean…” I knelt my head down and he looped an arm around me and pulled me closer.

“Listen to me Jaeger. I’m only saying this once, got it? Don’t ever fucking talk bad about yourself in front of me. Especially about your artwork. You are still in fucking HIGH SCHOOL. To come up with something like that is stunning in itself. You haven’t had very much formal training at all. I’ve been practicing for a good two years on top of the art lessons I took in high school, even so, my art is NOT perfect.” I swallowed hard. I guess I really struck a nerve with him.

“S-Sorry…”

“I’m not mad babe, I just hate to hear anyone talk bad about you. Let alone yourself. You have every right to be proud of yourself. You raised your grades, especially in math. You got that award in art. All while holding down a job AND a steady relationship. Things are getting better.” He gave me a smile and I nodded.

“Yeah, you are right.”

“Art as you know takes a HELL of a lot of practice. Trust me.” He grinned and I turned to him and brought our lips together, finally giving up on being embarrassed. I just wanted to feel Levi’s lips against mine. Wanted to feel that comfort, that gentle caress. It was a quick kiss, but it was enough to make my heart thump and my eyes pop open as we pulled apart.

“So…”

“What next?” He pulled out the schedule and I looked over the next set of panels.

“Eh….maybe the game room. The panels look kind of…”

“Boring?” He chuckled and we rose to our feet. “Alright, let’s go.” I let him lead once again into the crowded hallway. “Vendor room? They close in an hour.” He said in a louder voice as we walked through the crowd. I glanced inside and there were a TON of people practically shoving each other at the tables. I gave his hand a squeeze and he shrugged and kept walking forward. After we were past the congestion portion of the hallway I breathed out.

“Maybe tomorrow…if that’s alright.” He looped an unexpected arm around my waist and pressed me up against the wall in an empty corner of the hallway.

“Anything is fine as long as you are happy.” He smiled at me and I practically melted. He pressed a quick kiss to my lips and we heard cameras click and flash all around us. Levi’s eyebrow twitched and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You said it yourself this morning that we would have fangirls!” I said with a chuckle.

“We are a pretty popular pair I suppose.” He winked at me and pressed another kiss to my cheek before pulling back, but keeping his arm securely around my waist.

“SO CUTE! CAN WE HAVE PICTURES?!” Levi raised an eyebrow at me.

“If you want to go, say the word. Seriously. If you feel too anxious, we’ll go. No questions.”

“Just a couple are fine. Not too close though.”

“Hear that?”

“AHHH THANKS!” We posed for a couple of pictures and immediately after the camera flashed a second time, Levi started walking with me pulled close to his side. We heard a few sad sighs and Levi just raised up to press a kiss to my neck, a motion that made me shiver.

“Game room ahead.” He said as he pulled me into the dark room. All of the video games were full except one of the Dance Dance Revolution games, so we smiled at each other and started up a game. I tossed my suit coat aside and then I just selected a song I liked without bothering to check the difficulty.

“SHIT. EREN! It was on hard!” I whimpered as the music started and Levi shot me a panicked look.

_I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me._  
I still feel your touch in my dream.  
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why  
Without you it's hard to survive.

HOLY SHIT! The arrows were coming fast, but somehow I was managing to keep up, barely catching them as they hit. I blindly grasped for Levi’s hand and caught it. It was easier to keep my balance with my anchor.

“Easier this way!” I shouted over the song!

_'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling._  
And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly.  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.  
Need you by my side

“Yeah! More balanced!” He was keeping up also with the rapid arrows and unfortunately there was a crowd gathering to watching us. I missed an arrow and grimaced, but I swallowed my fear and held onto Levi’s hand tighter. We were a team and I wouldn’t let my anxiety affect the outcome of our game. Not when I had Levi to lean on.

_'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static._  
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.  
Can't you feel my heart beat so...  
I can't let you go.  
Want you in my life.

“WooHooo! Go Levi! Go Eren!” A familiar voice shouted from beside us. I wouldn’t let it trip us up though. I spared a glance and he was completely concentrated, focusing on his screen, which I snapped my attention back to so I wouldn’t miss any arrows.

_Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky._  
They wipe away tears that I cry.  
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.  
You make me rise when I fall.

Levi definitely gave my hand a hard squeeze at that verse and it my heart ache. We had been through so much. Hell, even today he was willing to pick up my broken pieces and put them back together. Where would I be without him? Without the love of my life. Without my captain showing my heart its true path.

_'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling._  
And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly.  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.  
Need you by my side.

The song had definitely sped up and I was struggling now to keep up, but I had only missed two arrows at the most. Levi was staying calm, although we were hanging onto each other for dear life.

 

_'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static._  
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.  
Can't you feel my heart beat so...  
I can't let you go.  
Want you in my life.

We were finishing up now and as our feet touched the last arrows we jumped across the dance pads to each other and hugged as the scores totaled up. Stars exploded on the screen and I swear Levi’s eyes lit up.

**NEW HIGH SCORE!!!**

We scrambled off the dance pad to the sound of cheering and people whooping and we were hugging and smiling. Hanji crashed into us and hugged both of us.

“THAT WAS AMAZING!!! YOU TWO ARE THE PERFECT TEAM!” We grinned at each other and someone walked up to us with a clipboard.

“Will you two PLEASE sign up for the tournament tomorrow? We’d like a decent match!” Levi smirked and I nodded.

“Sure!” He looked at the time and took a mental note before writing our names down. “See you then!” I hugged Levi again and he planted another kiss on my cheek, making Hanji squeal.

“AGHHHH my babies are so cute!” She jumped up and down. Levi just shook his head and grinned.

“So what’s the plan?” We stepped out into the hallway to look at the schedule.

“I definitely want to do to the dance party tonight.” Levi flipped to the description.

“Come join us for an evening of dancing, glow sticks, and fun in this cosplay optional event. Music will be subject to the DJ’s choosing.

  *          No Bags
  *          No Drinks or Bottles



Have a blast dancing until the early hours of the morning with your fellow convention goers!” Levi raised an eyebrow as he read the description.

“So is it like a rave?”

“I don’t know… I’m thinking maybe the music will be different? There will be dancing at least. It will be fun. Do you want to go?” He raised an eyebrow to me and I grinned.

“Yeah!”

“Awesome. Well lets get everyone together and grab dinner, and then we can get ready for tonight.”

 

After FINALLY getting everyone together and back to the cars at the hotel, we managed to find a restaurant that would feed all ten of us. Ihop was the winning choice and I happily munched on my pancakes next to Levi.

After dinner we ran up to our room to get ready for the dance. I began stripping off my cosplay, piece by piece and hung it up on the hanger above the suit case. I took off my wig and put it back in the bag and set my wig cap aside for Sunday.

“Mhmm, not bad Jaeger.” I felt Levi’s hand run down my back, down to my ass and I shivered.

“L-Levi!” He chuckled low against my neck and pressed himself up against me. I could feel his bare chest, warm against my back. I glanced back to see he’d already ditched everything except the knee highs and the contacts. I still needed to take mine out as well. He pressed a kiss right against my shoulder before pulling away and kicking off his socks. I followed him into the bathroom and took out my contacts, normal turquoise shining back at me in the mirror. Levi did the same and brilliant grey looked straight into my eyes, finally returning to normal.

“Alright, you have two options.” He said after we brushed our teeth together. You can either wash all the makeup off and scrub your eyes. I groaned and looked at him with a frown. “Or you can leave it and just let me touch it up for tonight.”

“That one.” He chuckled and leaned in for a kiss.

“Alright. Get dressed first, then I’ll touch it up.” We left the bathroom and I dug through my suitcase looking for something to wear.

“LEVIIIIIIIIIIII. UGHHH.” I sat in the floor by my bag with a sigh.

“Whaaaaaat.” He said with a grin as he plopped down next to me. “We’re probably both diseased now.”

“AWWW! You got diseased for me!” I leaned my head against his shoulder and he smiled.

“Yes! Now what?”

“What should I wear? Everything is so…normal.” I sighed and pushed my face into his chest. He grinned.

“Close your eyes.”

“Wha-“

“Just do it, brat.” I shut my eyes and clutched at his hand. “What? You don’t trust me?”

“Of course I do! This is just weird.” He snickered and I felt soft fabric glide into my fingers, and another type of fabric being laid over my hand.

“Okay. Open up.”

“This is-“ My eyes were wide as I stared at the ruffles and lace in front of me. I grasped Levi’s hand firmly. “You…You brought this for me?” He shrugged.

“I thought you might want to wear it around the room for me or something but if you want to wear it tonight then, go for it. You’ll look sexy in whatever you decide to wear babe. My eyes will be on your body regardless.” He ran his hand down my back and I smiled. I ran my fingers over the light grey fabric that he had draped over the black skirt. I held it up in front of me.

“Tights?” I raised my eyebrow and he smirked.

“If you want to wear them. Again. Up to you. I just threw them in babe.” He kissed me on the cheek and stood up. “Otherwise I think your tripp pants look amazing on you.” He winked at me before he started digging for his own outfit. I swallowed hard and immediately stood up. It was now or never. I jumped into the tights, almost falling over in the process and Levi dropped what he was doing to steady me. “Careful Eren!” He giggled as he held me and I finally pulled them up over my hips. “Holy shit, your ass looks fantastic.” My face turned tomato red I’m sure. I grabbed for the skirt. “Hang on! Tag!” He ripped the tag off the tights and pulled a sticker off the side. I climbed into the skirt and felt the red in my cheeks deepen even more as I pulled it up to my hips. Shit…what would out friends say? I fastened the skirt and looked away from Levi as I searched for a shirt. He pulled another tag off of my skirt and I flinched.

“Eren, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know…” He pressed a kiss between my shoulder blades and I relaxed a little.

“Here.” He dug through the suitcase and handed me a plain black tank top. This particular one was big on Levi, so maybe it would fit me okay. I pulled the tank top on and tugged it down over the top edge of my skirt and looked up at Levi, who was still in his underwear. To be honest, I was feeling REALLY self-conscious right now. Sure, any scars that I had on my legs would be covered but my arms were exposed and my chest was-

“Beautiful.”

“What?” My eyes went wide as Levi stepped forward and captured my lips in a kiss. His tongue brushed over my lips and his arm looped around my waist and he fucking TILTED me back. My arms locked around him as he practically devoured me, and he tasted like sweet mint and that sweet taste that was only Levi. That only my love could offer me. A little moan escaped me and I felt my skirt fall back against my legs as he tilted me further back. I felt lighter, like I could walk on clouds. I smiled into the kiss and Levi mirrored the reaction before pulling back, leaving us both breathless. We were still leaned back, and as he gently pulled me to my feet, he ran his hand along my back again.

“I said you are fucking beautiful and I love you.” My heart nearly exploded out of my chest and I stumbled forward and leaned my forehead against his shoulder.

“I love you too.” I whispered it in an almost unbelieving tone. So thankful for my savior. For my prince.

“Alright, let me get ready so we can go dance. Sound like a plan?” He grinned and I smiled softly as I reluctantly let him pull back away from me. Tonight was certainly going to be interesting.

 

 

We met in the lobby of the hotel downstairs and once again, Hanji had a bag full of glow sticks, which Levi and I decided to snap and help each other put on. Jean and Marco were giggling as the helped each other with theirs and it was pretty cute. I got a couple of odd glances from the group, but I hid behind Levi since then. Mikasa had yet to arrive, so I was waiting for the brunt of the comments.

“Eren!” And there it was. I reach for Levi’s arm and ducked my head down. “Is that you?!” She walked straight up to me and I nervously nodded. “You look so cute!” My eyes went wide and I swear my mouth fell open. “Levi better keep an eye out tonight.” She smiled and Armin finally joined us in the lobby, as going wide as he saw my outfit.

“Nice! We’ll have to have a contest one day to see who’s got the best legs!” He said with a smile. A few of them had turned their cosplays into a casual cosplay, while the others had changed completely. Hanji had her hair tied back normally, but had a mini-skirt on and a halter top. My eyes however, were focused on the raven-hair next to me.

His hair was done perfectly as usual, along with thick eyeliner. His silver piercings were shining in stark contrast with his hair and the industrial bar in his ear was practically glowing. He’d chosen to wear a black v-neck t-shirt that showed every bit of his collar bones and basically had me drooling and his pants…well, they were the definition of tight. Black skinny jeans with silver zippers all over. They hung just below his hips. Right where his shirt met, and all it would take was a small stretch for skin to be shown.

“Everyone here?”

“YES!” Isabel said with a thumbs up.

“Alright, let’s walk over then.” We all walked towards the convention center and the music was already blasting. No one had bags or drinks, so after a quick check of our badges we were immediately let in. I felt a little shy in my skirt, but Levi’s arm wrapped protectively around my waist made me feel more secure than anything. He really did make me feel beautiful. He made me feel wanted. Levi made me feel safe to be myself, safe to be EREN. Safe to laugh, safe to dress, safe to smile, safe to love.

_Saw them dancing in your eyes_

_Like shadows in the night_

_Doing pirouettes around the stars_  
  


  
There were lights all around us. Glow sticks twirling and hoola hoops twirling. Our group of friends were around us and immediately started dancing, but I needed a minute for my eyes to adjust. To adjust to my surrounding. To scope out the situation. I held onto Levi’s hand and looked to Levi, the neon colors from our bracelets were reflecting off the silvers and greys in his eyes. They looked amazing.

 

 

_We were running in a haze_

_I remember every shade_

_Hit my veins and they shot up sparks_  


 

Jean and Marco were already dancing together on our right, but that was to be expected. Mikasa and Armin were jumping with Hanji and a restrained Isabel. Farlan really wasn’t letting her do too much. Erwin kept nudging closer to Armin, bumping into him occasionally.

 

 

_Words fell from your lips_

_And all I heard was white noise in the dark_

“Can I have this dance, Eren?” My eyes shot back to Levi and I smiled. I nodded and our hands locked together. He started moving our arms back and forth and I couldn’t help the pounding in my heart that he created, nor the freedom of the brushing of the ruffles against the back of my legs. Only with Levi by my side, could my true colors shine.

 

  
_But when you looked away_

_I remember every shade_

He twirled me and I added a few foot movements and we both let out laughs as I spun into his arms. I could feel the vibrations in his chest and I just knew how much he loved me. It was such a comforting feeling.

 

_So let your colors run tonight_

_We’re painting in the dark_

_Let your colors run tonight_

_The colors of your heart_  


 

My back was to his chest and we were just quickly moving back and forth to the music as he held me there, curiously watching what was unfolding in front of us. Erwin was finally making his move. I heard Levi chuckled and felt his shake his head and press a kiss into my neck.

 

_Saw them dancing in your eyes_

_Like shadows in the night_

_Doing pirouettes around the stars_

 

 

“Dance with me?” Erwin shouted so Armin could hear over the loud music.

 

“Sure!” He bounced over to the side, away from the others and Erwin’s bright blue eyes were shining brilliantly in the flashing lights.

 

_We were running in a haze_

_I remember every shade_

_Hit my veins and they shot up sparks_

 

 

“So when I asked you to dance…” Erwin reached out a hand and Armin turned blood red. “I like you Armin. It’s the truth.”

 

“M-Me?!” Erwin grinned like an idiot and nodded.

 

“Yes, genius. You.” Armin freaking squeaked and hesitantly took his hand. “So…you want to dance then?”

 

“Y-yes…” Erwin smirked and began moving to the music again, urging Armin to move along with him.

 

_So let your colors run tonight_

_We’re painting in the dark_

_Let your colors run tonight_

_The colors of your heart_

 

 

“Maybe, we can see where this leads?” Another squeak and Armin buried his face in his free hand while he continued to dance with the taller man.

 

Levi chuckled and hugged me tight. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head before pulling back.

 

“Guess Erwin got what he wanted huh?”

 

“You think so?” The next song switch over and I grinned at Levi.

 

“Yes, I think so. He’s already got the blondie in his trap.” I shook my head and Levi pulled me close as the beat of the song changed.

 

_It's dangerous to fall in love_  
But I want to burn with you tonight  
Hurt me

 

Levi ran his fingers through my bangs and looked up into my eyes. He shook his head an continued his caresses down my cheek

 

“I’ll never ever hurt you.” I nodded at him and let him continue his soft gentle strokes of my cheek as we moved together to the song. It wasn’t quite a slow song, but it wasn’t really fast paced, so we chose something in between, with his other hand resting comfortably on my hip.

 

_There's two of us_

_We're bristling with desire_

_The pleasure's pain and fire_

_Burn me_

 

We spared a glance in the direction of our beloved friends. Hanji and Mikasa were dancing with each other now, while Farlan and Isabel actually had their arms wrapped around each other while they were moving back and forth.

 

_So come on_  
I'll take you on, take you on  
I ache for love, ache for us

_Why don't you come_

_Don't you come a little closer_

 

 

 

Our eyes moved to Marco and Jean who were pretty much grinding on each other at this point. Holy shit!! Marco?! NO! We quickly averted our eyes.

 

Lastly, our eyes fell on Armin and Erwin, who surprisingly had become VERY close within the last 2 songs. Armin was already in Erwin’s arms as he whispered something to him, but that didn’t take away the fact that his face was still blood red.

 

“See, told you.” Levi said with a chuckle.

_So come on now_  
Strike the match, strike the match now  
We're a perfect match, perfect somehow  
We were meant for one another  
Come a little closer

  
“Levi.” I grinned and pulled him closer the arms I had wrapped around his neck.

 

“Mhmm….” I leaned my head down on his shoulder and just took in his scent. His cologne mixing with his natural smell. The smell that intoxicated me. The one that I could surely pick out in a crowd.

 

_Flame you came from me_  
Fire meet gasoline  
Fire meet gasoline  
I'm burning alive

 

 

“Promise me something.”

 

“Anything. He looked up at me with those eyes I love so much. They were shining pure silver almost and it made my heart do a flip flop.”

 

“Promise me you’ll always be by my side?” He smiled and pressed his lips to mine.

 

_I can barely breathe_  
When you're here loving me  
Fire meet gasoline  
Fire meet gasoline

 

 

“I think it’s impossible for me to go without you now, Eren. So, yes. I promise.” I felt tears well up, but I refused to let them spill. Refused to ruin the moment. I just clung to him tighter and smiled against his neck.

 

“Fuck. I love you so much. So much it hurts sometimes, Levi. Really….”

 

_I got all I need_  
When you came after me  
Fire meet gasoline  
I'm burning alive

 

 

 

“I understand the feeling babe.” He pressed his hand to my chest and leaned his forehead to mine. “It’s almost like, I want to tell you how much I love you but it’s not enough to get all of the love I have for you out in words?” I nodded frantically and he captured my lips in a heated kiss. The room spun for a good ten seconds as all I knew was Levi. His sweet taste. His scent. His touch. His warmth.

_And I can barely breathe,_

_When you're here loving me_

_Fire meet gasoline_

_Burn with me tonight_

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Well, for now tonight we have these words. That we have our hearts, right? Our hearts are utterly full for each other.” My heart was swelling with happiness and Levi’s eyes showed the same emotion. Sure today had it’s ups and downs. Yes, I’d had a panic attack, but Levi and my friends had pulled me out of it. I could rely on them to pull me out when I needed them the most and that really was a good feeling. Levi tugged my arm and I followed him out of the dance hall, after grabbing a cup of water. We caught a breath outside and just decided to turn in for the night since it was 1AM already. I shot Mikasa a text and held onto Levi’s hand as we started the short walk back to our hotel.

 

“Fuck!” He stopped suddenly and shoved me up against the side of the building. “Why do you have to look so fucking delicious right now?!” He growled as he practically started grinding up against my thigh. I felt my face burning and I looked him in the eyes.

 

“L-Levi! We’re on the sidewalk!” He huffed and yanked me into the parking garage across the street.

 

“Better brat?!”

  
“NO!” He smirked and tugged me down behind a cement barrier. “You’ve got to be-“ He ran his hand under my skirt and I whimpered as he ran his hand over my growing hard on. Shit. He chuckled and raised his eyebrow.

 

“So you are telling me you don’t want to do anything?” I hide my eyes but my arm flew off as he palmed me through my tights.

 

“Ngnnn.”

 

“Mhmmm….You’re getting hard. You want it.” I hid my face in his arm this time and he snickered. “I’m picking on you babe. Don’t be so shy.” I nodded and my eyes wondered up to meet his.

 

“Y-Yeah.” He grinned and wrapped his legs around mine, grinding on me again. FUCK. He was rock hard. No wonder he wanted relief right this second.

 

“Too bad I don’t have any lube.” I’m sure my eyes went wide because his hand ended up in my hair. “No, no. Don’t worry about that. I would NEVER do that to you, okay?” I sighed in relief and relaxed against him. I looked down at the tension in his pants and raised an eyebrow.

 

“D-Do you want me to?” He pushed a finger to my lips and licked his own.

 

“I’ve got one hell of an idea…if you are up for it?” He leaned close to my ear and licked the lobe before speaking. “How about you pull down those tights of yours, but leave on that pretty little skirt and let me suck you off? And you can do the same to me?”

 

“A-At the same time?!”

 

“Yeah. Why not?” I whimpered but the idea did sound pretty damn good, so I swallowed my nerves and nodded the go ahead.

 

“On my side or…”

 

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He smiled seductively this time and ran his fingers down the curve of my waist as I turned around. Luckily there was a pretty clean section of sidewalk behind the cement barrier in the shadows, I felt my face and neck flushing as I pulled my tights and underwear down to my thighs as I laid on my side and Levi mimicked my actions, yanking his jeans and underwear down to his thighs. He gave me a soft smile as he lifted my skirt up to reveal what was underneath and I took him into my mouth, nearly the same time he did.

 

We both let out unified moans, muffled by out ‘current predicaments.’ I swear Levi just knew how to make me scream, because he was using his hands just right and _NGGGGN._ I trembled against him as I felt my body clench and the muscles begin to tighten already. Holy shit!

 

Levi moaned around me and the vibrations were driving me absolutely insane. His fingers were lightly griping my thigh, and _OHHHH._ I bucked against him as a wave rocked though me, but he stopped it before I let loose. I was completely gone. Eyes watering, just sucking and pumping Levi’s cock. He started back with his motions and I held onto his leg as he fucking went to town stroking and sucking me. It was almost too intense, but I kept up my motions. We moved together. The perfect pair, and finally, when I couldn’t hold back any longer I began gripping desperately for Levi’s hand. He gripped mine as well and we came together. Bucking, screaming, unraveling, and falling apart completely against each other.

 

We didn’t rest for very long, just long enough to gain the feeling back in our legs. I pulled my tights back up, and Levi tugged his jeans back on before we made our way back to the hotel room.

 

“Ughhh….” I started pulling off clothes and tossing them aside as soon as we got inside the door. We took a quick shower together, rinsing off the dirt from the parking garage and the rest of the day and then we proceeded to climb straight into bed.

 

“Levi….” I slung my arm over his chest and settled against his shoulder.

 

“Yeah babe?”

 

“Sweet dreams.”

 

“Mhmm…sweet dreams, Eren.”

  



	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second day of the convention!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! I'm pretty much awful lately! BUT today was the last day of finals! WOO! So hopefully the updates will be closer together now ^.^ BUT This chapter isn't edited because I'm a lazy bum and it was 20 pages in word XD 
> 
> Well XD 
> 
> My goals! -Write more often. Keep up with updates. REPLY TO COMMENTS! T.T I'VE BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL.
> 
> But please comment. I read everyone, I just haven't had the time to reply BUT I do now :3 So please!! :D
> 
> The Songs are-  
> Me and You-Martin Silence  
> Closer to my Heart-NM  
> Yours to Command- Rupesh Cartel  
> When I Look at You- Miley Cyrus
> 
> And yes, I actually put in some effort to find some DDR songs? Even though I don't play so XD

_Crying? Why were there tears? No, those sobs were so familiar…I opened my eyes as light flooded down on us in spots. Eren was in my arms, cradled delicately against my shoulder as he wept. My heart burned for him. For the mournful sounds he was making. But WHY? Why was he grasping at my cloak like that?_

_“I-I’m so sorry Captain…If I had just shifted earlier maybe…maybe they wouldn’t have-“I shook my head and pulled him closer._

_“No Eren. Don’t. Don’t regret your choice. You trusted your comrades. I can’t tell you if that was the right thing to do, but it’s what they wanted you to do.” He dug his face into my neck and I wanted nothing more than to sit in this clearing with him until his tears stopped, but we were both injured. Even if his injuries would heal quickly, we needed to go. NOW. “Now, keep believing in me Eren. Trust me. I’ll get us back.”_

_“I’ll always trust you Captain…I…I love you.” He struggled to get it out through his ragged breaths, but I knew he still meant it. We burned for each other. Just like we burned to eradicate the titans from this Earth so we could have a peaceful existence outside those hellish walls._

_“I love you too brat, now come on. Can you move?” He nodded frantically, and though he was bleeding he managed to pull himself to his feet. He helped me up as well, my leg nearly giving out under my own weight. Shit._

_“Levi!” I closed my eyes as a wave of pain shot through me, and I felt a warm arm wrap around my shoulder to support me. “I-I ugh….sorry I mean Cap-“_

_“That’s fine. Levi’s fine.” I opened my eyes and leaned some of my weight against his larger frame. I was careful not to press too hard, because his wounds were already leaking, smearing onto not only his cloak but mine. Eren was clearly in pain as well, and it was ripping me apart. “We’ll make it back. If I have to rip those things apart limb by limb myself.” He beamed at me and nodded as we took slow steps together, making our way back to the others. I fired my purple flare again, signaling a distress and thankfully one was fired back. Eventually Erwin found us and we were thrown in the back of a cart together._

_Hanji was quick to bandage Eren’s bleeding wounds, and I turned down attention to my leg. I would be fine until we reach the walls. However as soon as we started our journey back to the wall, I scooted closer to him. He looked absolutely defeated._

_“Eren…”_

_“I’m so sorry…” He had tears in his eyes again and he just shook his head. His childhood friend, Mikasa, had placed her cloak under his head and his own cloak was over him. I let out a sigh and abandoned my current sitting positon to lay down beside of him. He looked at me wide eyed as I pulled him back into my arms. “But-“ He whimpered and I kissed the side of his face, feeling the already familiar thrum of his heart against mine._

_“Listen here, I’m only saying this once. None of this shit was your fault. Humanity lives in a damn cage. Can you help that? No. Are you doing everything possible? Yes. You put your fucking life on the line Jaeger. That’s enough for me, and that’s more than enough for the Survey Corps.” He nodded against my neck_

_“What if someone sees us…Levi?” My name on his lips sounded sweet. So innocent. So loving._

_“Let them see. I’m not hiding anything. If I’m going to be your lover, I’m doing it openly. If anyone questions me, I will kick their ass. That is, if you want to be my lover?” The pang of my heart in my chest was enough to send chills down my spine, even though Eren was so close to me. He paused for a moment, but eventually he nodded against my, his face burning against my neck._

_“Y-Yes…I’d like that.”_

_“I can’t promise you much, but I promise you my loyalty and my love. In this world, that’s all we can really give.” We linked hands and he nodded again as I dried his eyes with my handkerchief._

_“S-Same.” He managed to smile up at me, which was a bit odd considering our usual substantial height difference and I pressed a kiss to his forehead. We heard a horse ride up next to us, and Mike looked over the edge of the cart._

_“Captain, can you ride?!” I frowned and looked down at Eren. He looked calmer now at least, like maybe he wouldn’t fall apart if I left him._

_“If I can get my canisters filled, I will. My leg is pretty messed up though, so it will probably be a crash landing if I do have to fight.”_

_“Got it. Erwin needs you to direct a squad. Their leader has fallen.”_

_“Shit. Yes, get my gear ready.” Everyone came to a grinding halt and Eren gave me a concerned look as I sat up, and he sat up with me._

_“L-Levi…” He gave my hand a hesitant squeeze. “Be careful…” I nodded as I unbuttoned my cloak._

_“I will Jaeger, and you-“ I nudged him down against the wooden floor of the cart. “Need to rest and stop worrying about me. It’s my job to protect you, you know.” I draped my cloak over top of his, successfully covering his up, and his eyes went wide. I leaned over him, mere inches from his face. “I will return to you. Whether it’s in this world or another one. We’ll find each other. I promise you that. But today, you’ll be back in my arms.” I managed a small smile, something I really didn’t do that often and a look of amazement swept his face before I pressed my lips to his. I climbed out of the cart and up onto my own horse after securing my gear. I captured another glance of Eren pulling the top cloak closer to him and shutting his eyes as he let sleep take him and everything starting blurring and fading around me. Swirling and twisting._

“Levi!”

“Ugh….”

“Leviiiiiii!”

“Brat…”

“Wake up Captain!” My eyes popped open and I shot up. Eren looked at me with a panicked expression on his face.

“H-Holy shit!” We were in the hotel room. Eren was reaching for me, but before he could get his arms around me I dove for his and pulled him to me.

“What’s wrong?!”

“That dream…it just, it seemed so real…” I rubbed at my eyes as I held on to him. He was here. He was safe. I kissed his forehead and he sighed against me.

“I’m here Levi. It was just a dream.” He hugged me and I sighed. Just a dream. “Besides, it’s SNK cosplays today!” He grinned at me and my stomach sank.

“Babe…will you stay with me? Just for a little while? I know you are excited for today but…” I swallowed hard as I remembered all of the blood. Every promise I made to Eren. I needed to hold onto him. To feel him. To KNOW he was safe and sound.

“Absolutely! I’m not going to complain about time with you. But, let’s switch.” I frowned as he pulled away from me, but he just smiled warmly and drew me closer to his bare chest. I laid my head down and breathed out, immediately feeling my shoulders relax as his fingers wove through the longer strands of my hair. His heart beat began to soothe me. That ever present reminder that he was here. He was with me, alive and breathing. “L-Levi…I may not be as good as you but…I can sing to you if you want.” His fingers twisted nervously in my hair and I smiled against his chest.

“I’d like that babe.

 _You know I'm losing my breath_  
You know it's for the best  
I feel the pain in my chest  
Although I want to caress  
  


I swallowed hard as I listened to his voice softly echo through the room. Eren was singing just for me. Singing to comfort my aching heart. Why was it aching so badly? He was here. He was in my arms. Heart beating steady beneath me.

 

 _Our love it keeps me satisfied_  
It keeps me holding on  
You know our love it is so strong  
Nobody can call it wrong.  
  


His fingers continued to tangle in my hair as he sung quietly and I ran my fingers down his chest. Eren was my world. Past (even though we really hadn’t been together that long, present, and future) He had this calming aura about him that pulled me back from my lows, pulled me right back to him and actually made me remember that the world wasn’t so bad. When we had each other, it was okay to smile. To laugh. To love.

 

_I'm feeling your smile, your love,_

_The way you hold my hand_

_Expressing our inner hearts_

_While walking in the sand_

 

I looked up at Eren and he smiled at me. He was COMPLETELY red. He stuttered on a few words before nudging my head back down to my chest. So fucking adorable.

 

_It feels like I am flying high_

_I want to touch the sky_

_When I'm with you, our love shines through_

_I'll never say goodbye_

 

I hugged him around his chest and his hand ran across my shoulders. I let out a content sigh. My body was finally calming down, finally relaxing. All thanks to Eren. He really was good to me. I know I can count on him just as much as he does me.

 _Our love it keeps me satisfied_  
It keeps me holding on  
You know our love it is so strong  
Nobody can call it wrong.  


I nuzzled his neck a little and let my hands roam lightly. I even threw in a light shoulder massage for him, but I avoided his eyes so he wouldn’t stutter or get embarrassed again. My cute little brat.

_Forget about the times feeling blue_  
The time is now for me and you  
We can buy a boat and sail away  
A brand new life a brand new day

I let out a content sigh against him and he smiled.

 

“Better?”

 

“Mhmm….much.”

 

“Great.” He kissed my forehead and I just wrapped myself in his warmth for a few more moments, burying my face against his chest. After a few minutes of his fingers lingering in my hair, as well as light circles being stroked onto his shoulder, his phone began to ring. He moved just enough to answer it.

 

“Hello?” We were so close that I could hear Erwin’s voice echo over the other end of the phone, but he still put it on speaker so I could listen.

 

“Hey! The others are getting antsy again. When do you want to head over?” I looked up to him and he gave me a concerned smile.

 

“Ugh, we will be a little while. We haven’t gotten out a bed yet, so feel free to do what you want.”

 

“Alright, we’ll come up with a plan and see you at the con.”

 

“Sounds good!” Eren hung up and tossed his phone on the table.  


“I guess that means we should get up then?” I groaned as he chuckled at me.

“Only if you’re ready to. I could stay here all day, BUT there’s only one Sora-con a year so…” I grinned and managed to pull myself away from the bundle of warmth in the bed.

 

“Alright then brat, let’s get ready.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“LEVI! Will you help me with this strap and stop laughing?!” I was nearly red in the face from laughter. We had placed a bet that he could put on his own straps by himself to save time, when I clearly needed help with mine. He was doomed from the beginning.

 

“Yes! Ha- I’m coming babe.” I started pulling the straps tight around him, adjusting them just right. Eventually, we were both geared up.

 

“I’m so glad we are only doing just the straps. There’s no way I could carry around the canisters and everything. Not with that many people…” I looked him over in his tan shirt and white pants and felt my heart clench slightly. He looked so handsome, so…brave. His hair was perfect, although it did still need a trim, it looked just like the unruly hair of the main character in Shingeki no Kyojin.

 

“That’s why the gear was designed to be used outside. With tress and-“ He was looking at me oddly, but he took a step forward. I pulled him into my arms, reminding myself once again that my dream was just a figment of my imagination. Eren was here. Safe and sound. About to enjoy the convention with me and no doubt load up on bagfuls of pocky and other candy. “ugh…trees and things to anchor into make it easier to fight.” He was looking down at me with these intrigued eyes and my heart was just fluttering. He ran his fingers gently over my cravat and smiled.

 

“L-Levi…” I pulled him closer, if that was ever possible and pressed my face into his neck. “I-I…when you talk like that…it’s like I’m drawn to you. Like I have to linger on every word or…I’m not sure?” My fingers found his hair and played with it gently. I knew the feeling. That longing in my heart to see him like this. To see him with that determined gleam in his eyes. I get that feeling from time to time, and right now I was definitely being pulled his way.

 

“I guess the universe has a way of telling us we were right for each other, huh Jaeger?” I mumbled against his neck. I felt the blush begin to creep up underneath my lips, but he still agreed. “Because I feel the same way. Drawn together to never be separated.”

 

Eventually we pulled apart so we could actually participate in the panels at the convention. Eren’s cheeks were still a bit red and to be honest, I’m sure mine were rosy as well. An overwhelming feeling of nostalgia washing over me. I guess it was just from my dream, or maybe from the last time I was in this cosplay. Either way, I was thinking silently as we slipped on our boots and our cloaks finally.

 

“Oh, Eren…I have something for you. You brought that key that I gave you for your birthday right?” He nodded and dug through his bag, while I dug through mine, pulling out the house key he constantly wore around his neck. I unclipped the key and clipped the new key to it before putting it over his head. “There, now you have a key to the basement.” He grinned and gave me a hug.

“I was wondering what it was for. You think of everything Levi. Seriously! Or should I be calling you Captain?” I smirked and pressed a kiss to his lips.

 

“You can call me whatever you want-“ I gently grabbed the front of his harness. “As long as you follow my orders, brat.” He turned bright red and nodded.

 

“Y-Yes Captain!” I snickered and pulled away.

 

“Alright, grab your stuff. Let’s head out.”

 

 

 

 

Levi’s POV

 

The convention was literally booming today. I warned Eren that Saturday was always the busiest day, but I assured him I wouldn’t leave his side. As soon as we crossed the street, I instinctively pulled him closer.

 

“Tell me if you don’t want to take a picture. I don’t have an issue with telling them to fuck off.” He nodded and gave my hand a squeeze.

 

“ANIKI!!!” As soon as we walked up I spotted Isabel and my heart sunk. I froze in place and Eren bumped into me. My heart was thumping. It was fucking aching. But why? Her green cloak was fluttering in the wind as she waved and she eventually just ran over and took my hand. “You guys look great! Well besides you, Levi! You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

 

“Levi? Are you alright?” Eren asked me as he rubbed my lower back. I couldn’t help my overwhelming emotions today. Maybe I had forgotten to take my medicine at some point? I just felt myself slipping somehow. I couldn’t help but to stare into her bright green eyes, full of spunk and happiness. I wrapped my arms around her in a silent hug and pulled her close to me. I felt her arms close around me as well and I swallowed hard. No one ever got to see this side of me. Ever. Only Eren, and somehow my walls were being shattered today. Farlan joined us with a wave, before adjusting the straps around his thigh. His own cloak was caught by the wind and flapped loudly.

 

Before I knew what was happening, a ball of pure energy crashed into Eren, almost knocking him over. I reacted instantly, ready to beat the holy living shit out of anyone even willing to lay a finger on him, but my eyes caught a familiar face hanging off his shoulder.

 

“EREN….LET’S DO SOME EXPERIMENTS!” Hanji cackled loudly. My eyes went wide and I reach out for her own green cloak.

 

“Holy shit, are you all-“ my head was spinning, literally unable to process the information all at once. I grasped for Eren’s hand and he took it with a concerned look.

  
“Yes! We came as the Survey Corps Captain! Surprise! But…sorry to say that you won’t be in charge any more when Erwin gets here!” She winked at me. I furrowed my brow as Mikasa, Jean and Marco arrived, sporting their own cloaks, although Marco only had on a Military Police jacket. I almost felt sick to my stomach, completely overwhelmed. I just pushed it all to the back of my mind and assumed it was my dream.

 

“Levi, let’s sit for a minute. You don’t look good.” I nodded and held onto his hand as he pulled me over to a cement planter that everyone was using as a giant bench. He sat beside of me and pulled me right next to him, wrapping his arm around my waist. I could feel a slight tremble in him, but he gave me a hug and took a deep breath, encouraging me to do the same. “What’s wrong? You haven’t been right all morning?” I turned my face into his neck and just let out a sigh.

 

“It’s that fucking dream I guess…it just messed with me.” I felt his fingers straightening out my cloak and I leaned further into his arms.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” I considered it for a moment, then decided against it. Eren didn’t need his day ruined by something like that. We were going to make today great.

 

“No, I think I’ll be alright. I just needed to sit and think. Having you by my side helps too.” I smiled against him and he pulled back a little to press our lips together. Such a gentle kiss that it almost broke me. On one of those rare occasions, he took dominance over the kiss and I just melted into it, letting him capture my lips in any way he wanted. The day was already straining on me, so any comfort he was willing to give, I would except without a second thought. We pulled apart with a blush staining both of our cheeks, but his bright smile was enough to draw one from me.

 

“A little better?” I nodded and let out a sigh.

 

“You do know there are kids here, right?” A familiar voice chuckled in front of us. Erwin had finally arrived, a blushing Armin standing next to him.

 

“I could care less about them.” I said bluntly. “Their parents were the ones that decided to bring them to a convention that has more cleavage and hentai than a porn store. They can handle a kiss I think.” Eren snickered and Erwin just shook his head.

 

“So where were you two all morning?”

 

“We went to grab a coffee.” I grinned and Armin turned another shade of red.

 

“And you didn’t bring me one? Shame. We’ll lets go inside.” We took a few pictures with everyone first, encase we got split up during the day. We made sure our badges were visible before I grabbed onto Eren’s hand again. It seemed like they had moved a few things, because the hallway was a bit wider. Easier to maneuver. After being bombarded with pictures, and agreeing to take just a few, I picked up a schedule for the day.

 

“See anything interesting?” Eren’s eyes skimmed over the current time slot and grinned before pointing. “Sewing and Cosplay Construction for Beginners?” I shrugged and took his hand as we made our way to the room. We were a little early, so we sat at a table and waited for them to begin.

 

“So why this one?”  


“I want to learn how to sew. Well cosplays, but you know those patch blankets?” I nodded and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “I’ve always wanted to make one.” He shrugged and played with the end of his cloak.

 

“Well, we can make one together if you want to. I do have a sewing machine.”

 

“You do?!”” He looked at me with wonder.

 

“Yeah. It’s in the closet. For fucks sake Eren, it may be news to you, but I’m not exactly 6ft tall. I have to hem my pants.” He chuckled.

 

“So you know how to sew already?”

 

“Just the basics, but enough to get me by. We can learn together.” He nodded and ran his finger over my thumb.

 

After an hour of lessons on how to properly hem, use stitch witch, hand stitch, and thread a sewing machine, the panel was finally over. We stopped at the concession stand for a bottle of water before going down the hallway to check the placements for the fan art contest. Eren seemed a lot better today. More at ease. Maybe the wings on his back were truly giving him the strength to overcome.

 

“OH MY GOD! NO WAY!” My arm tugged as we ran down the hallway through the crowd and reach the board. Eren was jumping up and down as he pointed to the top. “LOOK LEVI!!!”

 

“I see Eren! That’s awesome!” Right next to his piece was the ribbon for first place.” I snaked my arm around his waist and kissed his cheek. “I’m proud of you!” He was beaming, so I had him stand in front of the wall to take a picture.

 

“Levi! You got second place!” He said as he pointed to the ribbon next to mine.

 

“Ooooh second. I’m not good enough for you.” I faked a sob and he hugged me.

 

“Levi!” We were laughing together when someone tapped us on the shoulder.

 

“Welcome back you two! Congrats! Who’s was who’s?”

 

“Yes, I got first. He’s second.” Eren said with a grin.

 

“Awesome! Okay, Mr. Jaeger, this is yours.” She handed him an envelope and went wide eyes. “And Mr. Ackerman? This is yours! Great Job!” We ripped open our envelopes and found two gift cards inside to Hobby Lobby. Luckily we had the one in Shinganshina. His was for $100 and mine was for $75.

 

“WOW! THANKS!” She took our pictures next to the pieces and with a wave we were off to our next panel. The pocky panel!

 

 

 

Eren’s POV

I sat next to Levi and leaned against his shoulder with a grin. He smiled at me and pulled me a little closer. I’m glad he’s smiling now. He really scared me earlier. Levi is the type of person to usually keep that stoic mask on in from of everyone, especially in public. The only one he lets it crumble around is me and close friends, so he did worry me. But he really did seem better now.

“Welcome to the pocky panel! Here you will be tasting several different types of pocky!” I beamed as I spotted the boxes of pocky on the table up front. There was a plate being taken around the room with mint chocolate pocky on it and I took one, as did Levi.

“MHMMM.” Levi raised his eyebrow at me as he bit into his own.

“Keep making sounds like that Jaeger and see where it leads you.” He said with a grin. My face flushed as I nibbled on the rest of my stick. Chocolate almond crunch was passed around next and I tried to sneak away the rest of Levi’s piece. He chuckled at me.

“I’m sure there is plenty in the merch room. I can buy you some.” Then he munched happily on the rest of his stick. I wasn’t a fan of the green tea, I found it kind of odd tasting, but Levi loved it and ate the rest of my piece. We tried a few more flavors before the ‘special event.’

“Okay! Anyone willing to play the pocky game up front on our stage will win a $10 certificate to our table in the merch room as well as a 30% off coupon of you entire purchase!” I looked at Levi and he smirked at me.

“Only if you want to. No pressure at all.” I gave his hand a squeeze.

“I want to play with you…Captain.” I gave him another small smile and I could see a gleam in his eyes.

“Come on then.” He pulled me up front by my hand.

“We have our first contestants! What flavor would you like?” I looked at Levi. Although I liked the almond the best…it would be a little awkward.

“Mint chocolate?” I guessed and Levi nodded. He handed us the pocky stick and I could hear multiple girls in the audience squealing.

“Tch…” Levi shook his head and I blushed a little as my heart sped up. I reach for his hand to steady myself. I needed his courage. Even if there wasn’t a huge crowd of people in the room, we were still being watched. I stuck the end of the pocky into my mouth and leaned down slightly so Levi could reach me. I felt his hand on the back of my neck, pulling us closer as he nibbled the end down until our lips met, and he even licked the chocolate off of the bottom of my lip. “Mhmm, you make the pocky taste better.” He said with a smirk before he pressed another kiss to my lips and pulled away. I turned blood red and ducked my face right into his shoulder and he chuckled.

“Congratulations! You won the pocky game!” He handed Levi the paper and I felt myself being tugged out of the room into the hallway.

“You alright?” I whimpered and buried my face further down, smelling familiar body wash and shampoo. It was comforting. I felt a protective arm guide me into a corner and push me gently up against the wall, running a hand through my hair.

“Just a little embarrassed.” I laughed a little against his neck and he snickered.

“You were the one that wanted to do it, brat! I have no remorse for you!” He pressed a kiss against my head and I leaned up a little to notice his cheeks were also stained a rosy pink. “Was the fucking coupon worth it?” I leaned my forehead against his.

“The kiss was…” He smiled softly.

“I can kiss you anytime, babe. It doesn’t always have to be a competition.” I nodded and pulled myself a little closer to him.

“I know but…I also like people to know that I’m yours.” Levi just shook his head.

“You are one confusing brat. Come on, we should hurry or we’ll be late for the DDR sign in.” He took my hand and pulled me towards the game room where the tournament was about to begin. We sat around with our friends as we waited for the tournament to start. It was $20 to enter. Erwin and Armin had entered surprisingly, and although Isabel wanted to, Farlan made her sit down, claiming she needed to take a break.

“Alright, next up is…Levi and Eren vs….” We stood and walked over to our mats. “You are going to dance in those boots?” I looked down at Levi’s boots, then at my own. We had done just fine in dress shoes yesterday…

“Boots seem to do just fine at kicking titan ass, they should surely be fine at kicking human ass as well.” Levi said with a smirk. Everyone around us giggled and the song started up. We locked hands again, to keep the same balance as yesterday, and though we received an odd look, Levi just smiled at me as we began our first steps against our opponents.

 

_The promise of love, joy and happiness_

_I lose myself whenever I'm with you_

We stepped in time together, our cloaks fluttering slightly from our movements, and I could already hear cursing from the other team. Levi missed one arrow and I gave his hand a squeeze.

 

_The prince that I've waited for all of my life_

_I know just what what we gonna do_

They missed two more arrows and I heard the crowd react and Levi took a deep breath. I concentrated on my own arrows. I concentrated on Levi. I tried to turn my mind away from the faces focused on my actions, drawing all my strength from the hand joined securely in mine.

 

_I need you (need you)_

_And there ain't no doubt in my mind (boy)_

Just a bit longer. Just a few more arrows, and we had them. I knew it. In the back of my mind, I knew we had secured our victory.

_Believe that our love will last forever 'til the end of time_

_Oh...Believe, believe, believe_

_believe, believe, yeah_

Our opponents stomped off the mats with a curse and congratulations popped up on our screen. Levi pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek.

“Congratulations! You have moved up!

After another while of sitting and resting, and a good match for Armin and Erwin, we played our second match, which once again resulted in our victory. We finally ended up in the finals.

“For our final match and to see who will receive the $300. It will be Erwin and Armin vs. Levi and Eren!” My eyes went wide as I looked over at our friends. Erwin chuckled and Armin blushed as we made our way up to the mats.

“Good luck!” We smiled at each other before we chose a song.

“Listen to me Eren, don’t think about them.” Levi gripped my hand tight. “Focus on us. Okay? We can win this.”

“Y-Yes….Captain.” I grinned and he smirked.

“Louder brat!” I stood up straight and saluted him.

“YES CAPTAIN!” He looked pleased as the music started. I began stepping on arrows at alarming rates, nailing each one.

 

_I was deleting all connections to life in this town_

_Sitting questioning just about everything I've tried_

 

I gave Levi’s hand a squeeze. He was my anchor. My counterweight. My everything. Not only in this game, but in life. I needed him. Needed him as the other half of my heart.

_And I didn't need solutions you've been wanting me to buy  
As the rain fell on the pavement it relieved my mind_

He shot me a smile after we nailed a particularly hard part of the song and we heard Armin whimper from the other matt, but I did as Levi told me and I kept my focus completely on us. On my own matt and on him. On his fingers wrapped securely around mine.

 _Come indetermination_  
I'm yours to command  
Come true intimidation  
I'm yours to command

The song was truly fitting. My heart was truly Levi’s to command. He had a piece of me that I hadn’t relinquished to anyone. Not since my mother had died. He really was the captain in my sinking ship, except he found a way to make me rise to the surface again. We were winning, not only in this game, but in our lives. We were finally accomplishing things together.

 

_Out in the quiet on the wet streets reflecting red and blue  
Setting all to zero nothing old and nothing new_

 

Erwin growled but I ignored it. Technically he was Armin’s commander as well now, but I let that sink to the back of my mind. I only needed to focus on my steps and on Levi.

_From the east side to the west side I'm roaming in the calm  
Here are pieces I've been missing for so long_

The song was coming to a close and I could tell it was going to be close. Shit. Shit shit shit. Levi was locked onto my hand as our cloaks desperately fluttered as we danced. His hair was hanging low around his face as he had a looked of concentration etched deep into his features.

 

 _Come indetermination_  
I'm yours to command  
Come true intimidation  
I'm yours to command

 

“AND THE WINNERS OF THE $300 DOLLARS-“ I held Levi’s hand desperately. “It’s…It’s a tie?! WHAT?! He looked over the results and raised his eyebrow. “Each team missed one arrow…” My eyes went wide as I looked at Armin and Erwin.

“Split it?”

“Sounds good!” Levi shrugged.

“Alright! It’s a tie then! For the first time ever!” We all high fived…well I certainly didn’t high five Levi. He looped his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss which I certainly didn’t protest.

 

“What do you say we get out of here a little early tonight?” He raised his eyebrow at me, and I had no intentions of hanging around any longer. We said our goodnights to everyone and grabbed a quick dinner from the fast food restaurant across the street.

“Hopefully we don’t get food poisoning.”

“It’s just a Burger King, Levi.” We downed our food inside the restaurant and took our refills to go, and headed back to the hotel. Our cups ended up on the table, as Levi insisted we both needed to brush our teeth. While I lingered in the bathroom to wash my face, Levi walked out into the bedroom and I heard music starting up. It put me at ease after the long day we’d had. My worries about Levi were letting up. He looked so stressed today, and I wanted so desperately to relieve him from those weights on his shoulders.

 

_Everybody needs inspiration  
Everybody needs a song_

 

I walked out of the bathroom to see him leaning up against the wall in the hallway, his forearm thrown over his face. He looked frustrated. So tense.

“Captain?” I took a step closer and laid a gentle hand on his forearm.

“Yeah right. I could barely hold myself together today. Like I could ever-” I pulled him up against me and he buried his face in the crook of my neck. “Like I could ever be a leader.”

“You led me in the right direction. Right into your arms. Into your home. Into your heart.” He gripped at my cloak and buried his face deeper.

_A beautiful melody, when the night's so long  
'Cause there is no guarantee, that this life is easy_

 

“Fuck Eren…I just…I feel this connection with you. Like…like fate brought us together. Like we were always meant to be and…” He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut.

“I feel it too. I’m only drawn to you, Levi. Just one kiss is never enough from you.” I felt him relax a little against me. I hugged him close to me, rubbing circles on his back and he sighed against me. “You know Captain…even those in charge have rough days. Days when they need a little…stress relief?” He snickered against me and shook his head.

“You are cheesy as fuck Jaeger.”

“I’M NOT GOOD AT THIS OKAY?!” I felt my face turning red and I ducked into Levi’s hair.

“I didn’t say you weren’t good. Keep going brat.” He looked up at me, hand sneaking up to undo the button on my cloak and tossed it into his suitcase by the bathroom.

“Well…I thought….maybe I could help you…undress for the evening Captain?” I swallowed hard and my fingers lingered over the button on his own cloak.

 

 _Yeah, when my world is falling apart_  
When there's no, light to break up the dark  
That's when I, I, I look at you

 

“And by helping me undress…what exactly are your intentions Jaeger?” He raised his eyebrow as he stroked the buckle over my chest.

“I want to provide you with company for the evening…sir.” I gave him a soft smile and he grinned at me. “Maybe lift your spirits a little?”

“Well-“ He hooked a finger under buckle he was playing with a slid it loose. “I don’t think that seems like such a bad idea. I’ll let you take control for a while then.” I nodded and gently pushed him back towards the bed, my face burning with embarrassment. I had no fucking clue what I was doing, but Levi needed me right now. He needed to just feel for a while. To be touched and taken care of.

 

 _When the waves are flooding the shore_  
And I can't find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I, I look at you

 

I nudged him down onto the bed, his legs still bent at the knee and hanging off the side as he watched me intently. I started working on his harness, getting the first few buckles undone, and then pressing a kiss to his lips. I tenderly licked at his bottom lips and he just fucking laid there and let me take over. He didn’t try to fight back, or fight for dominance in the kiss. He was trying to find escape in my movements. If I could provide a momentary release for him, then that was okay with me. I openly explored the warm sweet cavern that was Levi’s mouth and he let out a sweet little hum, his arm sliding down my side as the other worked it’s way into my hair.

“Eren…” We pulled apart and his cheeks were flushing the cutest rosy pink I’d ever seen on him. I brushed my fingers through his hair and continued to work on his harness, unbuckling and eventually dropping it to the floor. His cravat and shirt were the next to go, so I would have access to his neck and chest. His eyes kept fluttering open then closed. A mix between not knowing what he was feeling or what he wanted to feel.

 

_When I look at you, I see forgiveness, I see the truth  
You love me for who I am like the stars hold the moon_

 

His hand reach up to paw at my own harness and I got the message. I stood for a moment and went to work on my own gear. It was MUCH easier than putting it on, and I had it off in less than a minute, along with my shirt and pants, leaving just my underwear on. I tugged Levi’s pants down as well, leaving him in the same state of undress as me and his eyes lingered on me, a happy smile drifting over me. I climbed onto the bed and pulled him up to the pillows with me.

Levi was in my arms again, closer this time. Flesh against flesh. He was so warm, so real. So soft. Completely mine. The grey from his eyes nearly from the world of lust he was submerged in. All he could do was wrap his fingers in my hair, around the nape of my neck. Breathe warm breaths against me. Kiss me lazily back as I captured his mouth with mine.

 

_Right there where they belong  
And I know I'm not alone_

 

“Mhmm…” I parted the kiss with one final lick to his lips and I could feel his hardness pressing against me. My heart was pounding and I really wasn’t ready to ask the question that was running through my head. How far did Levi want me to take this? He looked so…undone right now. So relaxed and enjoying every bit of being taken care of. I stroked his cheek and he blinked a couple of times.

“I can feel you, you know. You’re pretty hard.” I nodded as pink continued to flush my cheeks.

“Sorry Captain…I can’t control the way my body reacts to you.”

“I can manage Eren.” He said with a smile as he palmed me through my underwear. I let out a breathy moan and grasped his arm.

“Levi!” I clung to him and let my head fall onto his shoulder.

“Did I say you could call me by that name?” My face burned and I shook my head.

“N-No sir…” he chuckled and palmed me again.

“Well I really don’t give a fuck to be honest Eren. I just want to fuck you now to be truthful.” He tilted my head up a little and smiled softly at me, his eyes filled with warmth. “Even if I did care, I wouldn’t hurt you over it, right?” I nodded and kissed his cheek.

 

 _Yeah, when my world is falling apart_  
When there's no light to break up the dark  
That's when I, I, I look at you

 

“Right.” This was all a game anyways. I knew that, and Levi was being just as gentle as always. One more kiss, and Levi hopped out of bed and walked over to his suitcase, coming back with a familiar bottle.

“Alright Jaeger. If you want to help your Captain so bad, get on all fours!” I heard him bark the command and my cock twitched.

“But-“

“Did I ask for questions? No.” I got on all fours and he jumped up on the bed, yanking my underwear down and pulling them the rest of the way off of my legs. My heart was hammering in my chest. Fuck…maybe this time WAS going to be different. Maybe he was going to rush. Maybe. I heard the bottle open. Maybe he wasn’t going to prep at all and. “Eren?” I felt a hand run up my back and I trembled.

“Y-Yes sir?”

“What’s wrong? You look fucking terrified.” His hand drifted down to my thigh and I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat.

“J-Just excited.” My face was turned away from him so maybe.

“Your fucking ears are pink brat. Fess up.”

“Just…are we doing this normally or?” I let the question hang in the air and I felt a slick finger rub over my entrance. I let out a soft sigh and relaxed into Levi’s touch.

“Why wouldn’t we babe?”

“Just…I don’t know…I was worried.” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to my lower back.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you. Captains take care of their subordinates right? Especially this Captain and his shifter.” He stroked my back once more before I nodded and felt his finger again. He gently pushed inside and I pushed back against him, the familiar feeling rushing through me.

“L-Captain!” Just like Levi had promised, the stretching went normally as it always did, if not even slower just to make a point that he was taking care of me. I was thrusting back on his hand by the time he was done stretching me, ready and willing for whatever he wanted to give me.

“Ready Eren?”

“PLEASE!” He chuckled and I saw his underwear get tossed to the floor, joining mine next to the bed. I heard the top of the bottle pop again and my stomach sank in anticipation. I felt Levi’s body heat radiating off of me, and his warm thighs pressing right up against me, then he slowly began pressing in, eliciting almost inhuman moans from me along with a sharp intake of breath. Sure there was that ever present sting. That pain that needed to fade away beforehand, but Levi came to a halt and his hands rubbed unknown patterns on my own thighs and back.

“You really are beautiful, Eren. Your skin practically glows.” I whimpered at his words. He had muttered something similar before, but we had been snuggling in the afterglow of sex and I was already drifting off to sleep. “It’s like every day it’s got a beautiful tone to it, but when you are pressed up against me like this, something just awakens in you and…you shine.” I blushed hard and wanted to bury my face in a pillow, but Levi would never let me.

 

 _When the waves are flooding the shore_  
And I can't find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I, I look at you

 

“T-Thanks…”

“Mhmm.” More gentle strokes against my lower back and I finally felt the tension ease. I pressed back against him and moaned, unable to control himself any longer. His hands found my hips and locked on.

“Please Captain!” That was all he needed as he drew back and moved forward. I nearly lost my breath as he slammed directly into the spot that usually took him a little while to find. “H-HOLY SHIT!” My knees shook and I reach for his hand. He grabbed it and kept rocking forward, shaking me to the core.

“Eren?!” His breath was a little uneven, but he was just getting started. I was so wound up that I was nearly shaking from the near constant pressure on my sweet spot.

“K-Keep going. PLEASE. FUCK. ME!” I gave his hand a squeeze and he moaned and thrust particullary hard into me. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. That tight pressure. I was feeling light headed. Was Levi even close? What would happen if I came now? What… “L-LEVI!” I was screaming. I could hear my own violent moans ringing in my ears and Levi was just slamming me against his lap, filling me to the brim. Making me ache for him. “SO-SO CLOSE!”

_You appear just like a dream to me  
Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me_

 

“Come for me Eren!” He gave my hand a squeeze and that was all I needed as he slammed into me one more time. I came over the sheets with a tearful moan. Fuck it was intense. When Levi was sure I had finished, he pulled out and I was flipped onto my back and pressed into the pillows.

“I’m going to keep going, is that okay?” He leaned his forehead against mine and laced our fingers together. FUCK. I nodded and he was inside me again.

“HYAAA!” I arched up against him, hypersensitivity flooding me and legs wrapping around Levi. SHIT. He was hitting it again and I felt my face getting wet? Tears? WHY?

“Is it that intense? Do you want me to stop?” I frantically shook my head and I squirmed a little underneath him. Holy shit. NO WAY. I could feel myself getting hard again. My fingers were in Levi’s hair before I could answer, while the others were lingering on his back.

_All I need, every breath that I breathe  
Don't you know, you're beautiful_

 

“NO! Please don’t! HNG!” With every thrust my eyes would roll back and I accidentally curled my fingers against Levi’s back. I felt my nails bite into his skin and I urgently pulled my fingers away.

“Babe, a few scratches aren’t going to hurt me. G-Go ahead. Just be natural with me. L-OH… Let your body take over.” He breathed and his eyes fluttered for a second before capturing my lips in a heated kiss. My whole body was humming. I had never felt anything this fucking intense. I timidly led my fingers back to his back and shut my eyes. Feeling Levi’s lips move against mine like that while he was just driving me against the mattress was enough to drive me insane. Especially while my body was still recovering from the last orgasm. And I was approaching the second as he constantly kept slamming into my prostate again and again, enticing the most animalist moans I’d ever heard from myself. My nails dug into him again and as I arched up, he arched with me, causing my nails to drag down. I vaguely acknowledged it, but I was so far undone that it wasn’t my top priority right now.

“FUCK BABE!” Levi howled as he picked up my leg and went deeper even. I didn’t think it was possible, but FUCK. He managed and I was desperately pawing at him, tugging on his hair, his back, his shoulders. Anything.

 

_When the waves are flooding the shore  
And I can't find my way home anymore_

 

“I-I FUCK.” I felt the tightness again and I was whimpering. I couldn’t take a third time. There was no way in hell. Hopefully Levi would-

“FUCK. I’m close babe.”

“LEVI! I LOVE YOU!” I arched up against him and as he slammed into me again I let loose and bit into his shoulder, muffling my scream that I knew we’d fucking get kicked out of the hotel for. Tears were running down my face and it was so intense that all I could do was just hold on to him and ride it out. I felt him go rigid and moan out my name, then a warmth washed over me. Levi collapsed on top of me and pulled out, but he didn’t let go. I pulled my mouth off of his shoulder and blinked a couple of times before planting my face into his chest, tears leaking against him. His hand found my hair and lazy strokes gently soothed me.

_That's when I, I, I look at you  
I look at you_

 

“Shhh….I love you too. It’s okay. Pretty intense huh?” I nodded and buried myself deeper. I’d hurt him. Even after all the promises of him never hurting me, I’d latched onto him like a fucking animal. I’d scratched him, bit him….fuck. What else had I done?

 

_Yeah, yeah, oh, oh  
You appear just like a dream to me_

 

“Stop overthinking it, Eren. I can tell that’s what you are doing.” I whimpered and hugged him closer.

“I’m sorry…”

“Babe, I told you to let your body take over. You can be yourself with me. A few scratches and bites won’t break me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“What if it’s a kink for me?”

“WHAT?” I shot up a confused look at him and he smirked.

“Just in the sense of you being yourself I suppose? Does that make sense? I want you to be comfortable with me Eren. If you want to scratch. Do it. If you want to fucking dress up in a furry costume, do it. I want you to be sexually fulfilled.”

“I don’t want to be a furry, Levi.” He chuckled and kissed the top of my head.

“You get my point though? I want us to get to a point where we can openly discuss what we BOTH want in bed and not be scared about it. Sure there will probably be some things we disagree on, but I think we can be pretty open and honest with each other, don’t you?” I nodded and smiled at him. Fuck…Maybe my Prince Charming COULD get more perfect.

“Sounds good to me.” He kissed me again and I melted against him.

“But this will ALWAYS be true, Eren. No matter what game we play. What rules we go by. I don’t care what it is. I will never fucking hurt you. Got it?” I nodded and smiled. “Well, unless a little nibble here-“ he went for my neck and ran his teeth along the skin, so delicately that is almost felt like a kiss. “counts as hurting you?”

“It doesn’t.” I grinned and our lips met again.

“I love you more than anything, Eren. You are my world and I know the shit you’ve been through. I’m not ruining the progress you’ve made or the progress we’ve made. Okay? I care about you too much for that.” I nodded and felt fresh tears well up in my eyes.

“I love you too, Levi. So much. You have to clue what I feel for you.” He smiled softly and nuzzled his cheek against mine.

“I think I have some idea. Now, let’s get you cleaned up and we can rest a little.” He climbed out of bed and just like he promised wiped me down. I was completely exhausted. Too exhausted to move and when he joined me in bed again, I was nearly asleep. His arms curled around me and I leaned into the embrace, smelling his cologne and his natural scent drift all around me.

“Levi….Sorry, I know I was supposed to be taking care of you tonight.”

“You did babe. You let me unwind enough to feel confident taking the reins again. I feel a lot better. Any night that I can have amazing sex with you and end up with you in my arms is a great night for me.” I felt my face flush and my lips curl into a smile as my thoughts drifted in and out.

“Mhmm…it was amazing.”

“Rest now Eren. We’ve got another great day tomorrow. Sweet dreams.” He kissed my forehead and I had no protests. Levi was my world. My strength. My support. And although I still needed some practice, I would try my hardest to be his as well.

“Sweet dreams Captain….”

 

 


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last day of the convention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I want to say THANK YOU FOR 15,000 hits!!! <3 AGHHHH  
> You guys are AMAZING :3
> 
> This chapter is a little short, but :D Oh well ^.^  
> The Songs are  
> Fake Star from Gravitation  
> Whispers- by Dave Baxter
> 
> Also! Me and Neko_yuki_onna are looking for an Erwin! :3  
> You must be able to: Goof Around  
>  Have noble eyebrows  
>  Cosplay Erwin :3  
>  Please comment if you are interested!!! :D

Eren’s POV

“Ughhh…” The alarm was blaring through the room and I rolled closer to Levi as he shoved the pillow over both of our heads. “Don’t wannaaaaa.”

“Don-“ The rest was muffled by the pillow along with the rest of his alarm. Levi pulled the pillow off and playfully thumped me over the head with it.

“Levi!” I groaned and nuzzled closer to him. He grinned at me and pulled me closer. “What was that for?” I asked with a pout.

“Don’t complain about getting out of bed.”

“It’s too early. I wanna sleep more.” I pushed my face against his shoulder and he chuckled.

“YOU-“ He pulled my head back and looked into my eyes trying to keep a serious face, but failing miserably, are the one that woke me up at 3AM saying that you ABSOLUTELY needed another round of sex, so don’t go complaining to me today that you are tired, Jaeger.”

“Hmph.” I pushed my face into his shoulder again. Maybe it WAS true that I woke up with a boner that just wouldn’t go away around 3AM… Damn… “It was totally worth it. No regrets.” He cackled and pulled me into a tight hug.

“I swear you are ridiculous sometimes, babe. We just have today left at the convention though, and it’s the short day. We want to hit the merch room, since we haven’t been!” I perked up at the thought and nodded as Levi kissed my forehead.

After he persuaded me with a shitty cup of hotel sludge, I managed to drag myself out of bed and into the shower as he was already getting ready. Luckily my cosplay today wouldn’t take as long as his. I hopped out and put on my wig cap and blonde wig, and stepped out into the main room to start putting on my dress shirt and suit. I grinned at Levi’s bright yellow coat and 2 piece black outfit. His abs were exposed, which I completely had mixed feelings about. Sure, he looked fucking fantastic. He practically had me drooling, but on the other hand, everyone else could see what was mine. It made me…uneasy. I frowned and took a step forward, running a thumb along the bottom of his shirt.

“What’s the matter?” He raised his eyebrow and I looked up, noting just how bright the pink wig actually was. He looked great, but the feeling in my stomach was just unsettling. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his waist. His skin was so warm, and soft against my hands and I just wanted to keep him close. I nuzzled his neck and kissed his cheek, working my lips closer to his ear.

“I love you…” I breathed it softly as I ran my fingers down his spine. Levi was mine. That’s all that mattered. This feeling would go away and our last day here would be fantastic. I felt the muscles in his face twist against the side of mine into a smile.

“I love you too, babe.” His hand found the nape of my neck and soft stroked it, light kisses pressing to the sensitive skin of my own neck. “Ready to head out?” I nodded and after we slipped on our shoes and grabbed our things, we headed towards the center hand in hand.

There were WAY less people today and the pace of my heart slowed considerably as we approached the center. I gave Levi’s hand a squeeze and after we took a few pictures together, we went inside.

The merch room was the first thing we hit, and we went crazy as soon as we walked inside.

“LEVI! LOOK!” I held up a plushie of Yato and waved it at him.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” He scowled at me and tossed the plushie back on the table. “Another man in NOT going to be in our fucking bed, Jaeger.” I frowned as he took my hand.

“BUT-“ Levi stopped suddenly and I bumped into him. He looked right at me and crossed his arms.

“Or do you-“ He crossed his arms and stuck out his lower lip. Levi was fucking pouting. And it was adorable. –Do you love Yato more than the Captain?!”

“NO! Nothing like that!” I tackled him in a hug and he laughed.

“GOOD!” He burst out laughing in my ear and kissed my cheek. “Let’s see if we can find some other plushies then! MAYBE I’ll allow you to have a Captain plush. If we can find one!” I took his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze.

“REALLY?!” He chuckled and tugged me towards a table that had a mound of plushies.

“Do you have Shingeki plushies?” Levi asked enthusiastically.

“Yes! We have the Scientist, the Commander, the Captain, and the Shifter! We are sold out of the Titan though! Sorry!” She set the four up on the table and Levi grinned.

“I’ll take a Captain and a Shifter please.” I jumped up and down behind Levi and hugged him from behind.

“Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.”

“And you wanted Yato. Tch.”

“The Captain is soooo much better!” I tugged on his sleeve and pressed a kiss to his cheek. I didn’t know they had them!” He grinned and took the bag.

“Thanks! OH POSTERS EREN!” Levi tugged me to the next table and I hopped along beside him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“AGHHHHH!” We were definitely in trouble.

 

After 3 hours in the merch room, and who knows how many swipes of Levi’s debit card, we were hauling stuff back to the hotel room. I was holding most of the bags, but Levi had his arms full as well.

“Were going back for the pillows?”

“Of course we are. I already paid for them.” I blushed and if I could bury my face in my hands I would.

“What are the others going to think?”

“Fuck them. They are our friends. They shouldn’t care. Besides, we needed pillows for the bed, right?” Levi chuckled and my face turned bright red. We quickly dumped our bags in the room and headed back to the merch room.

“Hey, I didn’t get to really check out the manga, is it okay?” I nodded as I eyed the cosplays.

“Yeah I’ll check out the cosplays.” I gave his hand a squeeze as we separated, only 15 or 20 feet away from each other. I spotted something that I immediately pulled off the rack. I blushed but checked the size anyway. They would fit. Black thigh high socks, with purple corseting down the front and back. They would match my other skirt and maybe…maybe I could surprise Levi? Would Levi even like something like that? I kept searching through the rack as my face kept turning more shades of maroon. Fuck. They had a pair of panties that matched. Black with a little of the purple corset detail. Would I even…fit?! They were lace, they matched the band around the top of the sock. I had to decide quickly if I wanted to do this. I checked the size and once again…They would fit my hips at least. Other parts…I wasn’t so sure. They looked ALMOST like boxer briefs…more like booty shorts, but fuck…it was worth a shot. I thrust them both up on the counter and the person that owned the booth smiled at me.

“Hello! Would you like a free accessory? It’s free with any $50 purchase!” I raised my eyebrow and looked down. Had I spent $50? I remember Mikasa saying something about women’s underwear being more expensive at some point, but it didn’t really register.

“Ugh…” I looked at the wall she was pointing to, all filled with cute girly items. Flowers, hair clips, bows. “I’ll take the cat ears, I guess?”

“Sure thing!” She pulled the ears off the wall and tossed them into the bag.

“Can you double bag that? It’s a surprise.”

“Absolutely!” I took my bag and joined Levi.

“Buy something?” I blushed and looked away.

“Y-Yeah. But It’s a surprise for home. So…” He chuckled and ruffled my hair.

“You are fucking adorable when you are red, brat. But that sounds good.” I turned towards him to notice the handful of manga he’d picked up. We checked out once one, and after picked up the fucking pillows Levi INSISTED on, we practically RAN back to the hotel room.

“EREN-“ Levi was panting and so was I. “Why, W-Why did you r-run?” I slung the pillow I was carrying on the bed and blushed as I looked at it.

“It’s embarrassing!” I was completely red faced. Maybe it was from running, but I’d come to terms it was from trying to hide the pillows from people. He grinned and tossed his pillow onto the bed before scooping me into his arms and dragging me into the bathroom.

“Look at how backwards this is!” He laughed as he turned me around in his arms, my back pressed firmly up against his chest. My chest was heaving from running so fast, but Levi was grinning at me as he peered at me in the mirror. “Yuki isn’t supposed to turn blood red, while Shuichi remains calm and cool!” He was beaming at me as he held me around my middle, and my face turned another shade of red. I relaxed against his chest a little as his fingers snuck up underneath the edge of my shirt. “Babe, did it really embarrass you?” I simply nodded and looked away from the mirror. That pillow…It looked just like Levi…but so vulnerable. So… Red flushed my cheeks again and I brought my hands up to my face. I didn’t fucking want anyone else to see that side of him. I didn’t really want anyone to see him dressed the way he was now, but it was part of the cosplay. “I’m sorry, Eren.” He kissed my neck and I peeked up from my fingers. “We can hide them on the way back, okay?” Another nod, and I flipped around in his arms. He tilted my head down and brought our lips together. “Ready to head back? The competition starts in 30 minutes. ”

“Yeah.” He hugged me tight before we left the room and once again walked back towards the convention center. We somehow found the rest of our group in the lobby, and they followed us to the contest panel, which was being held in the main event room.

“ALRIGHT COMPETITORS! Right this way to the stage area!” My stomach sank as I sunk against Levi. His arm hooked around my waist and we climbed a set of stairs to a little curtained off area to wait for our names to be called. There were quite a few couples and teams that were dancing, one girl who played the piano, one who played an ocarina, then our names were called. Levi took my hand, smiling widely and placing the classic Shuichi hop in his step.

“Come on Yuki! Let’s sing!” I followed behind him, my heart throbbing as I looked out at the crowd. There were quite a few people, considering this was the last main event of the evening and closing ceremonies were right after this in the same room.

“Calm down, Shuichi!” I ruffled his pink hair and gave his hand a squeeze. “What song? I don’t usually sing, but I’ll make an exception for you.”

“Fake Star!” I nodded and the music started. My heart began to pound, and Levi playfully latched onto me, his yellow coat fluttering around him. His arms were comforting and the colorful lights around us made his silver eyes light up all different shades that I never imagined.

As I belted out the lyrics we had practiced syllable by syllable, my fingers began to tremble in Levi’s but he held me close. I glanced behind us as the English lyrics flashed for the audience, along with pictures from the anime and it made my heart soar.

_Snow dances in the night sky, a land of white that freezes,_ __  
covering my heart as it is now.  
Love songs full of lies continue to be sung in futility  
but still don't say what my true feelings are.

Levi smiled at me and I loosened up. He was acting just like Shuichi, but then I realized, he was letting go of all of his stage fright and fears to help me through this. He was acting like an idiot to make ME comfortable and I couldn’t help but smile at that.

_Their eyes miss one another,_ _  
defiant and hurt but still believing._

His voice echoed over mine without a second thought, but that was perfectly fine, because the crowd was going crazy. Everyone had gotten out of their seats to run to the front of the stage to watch us and Levi was playing right along. Jumping and hopping around, tugging me playfully with him.

_In these mad times, there is a wounded fake star._ __  
One day you'll happen to meet your only star!!  
Ah true rose, let me fall asleep within those arms, yeah.

“WOOOO! GO BIG BROOO!!!!” Isabel’s voice caught my ear and I saw her clapping next to Farlan. I smiled and kept up with the lyrics, practically entranced by Levi’s voice. He was captivating, not to mention his movements across the stage were keeping my attention.

_Just like stepping on the accelerator on a high-speed driving road,_ __  
my heart won't return as it is now.  
Even though I can fool others, I can't fool myself.  
I can't hide my true feelings.

Our hands separated and he ran across the stage, making heart hands at me and I grinned at him as he sang his heart out. He was putting his heart into the song, while I was merely hanging on for dear life, trying to desperately remember the foreign lyrics.

_The stage moves for both of them,_ _  
strong and hurt but still believing._

Levi was hanging on to his mic stand as he looked at the crowd now.

_In this warped city there's a fake star that cries with a smile._ __  
One day I'll happen to meet my only star!!  
Ah true rose, let me dance in those dreams, yeah.

He looked back at me with a grin and pulled me back up from my mic, over to his and we sang the last verse together on the same mic, hand in hand.

_In these mad times, there is a wounded fake star._ __  
One day you'll happen to meet your only star!!  
In this warped city there's a fake star that cries with a smile.  
One day I'll happen to meet my only star!!  
Ah true rose, let me dance in those dreams, yeah.  
Let me fall asleep, yeah.

We bowed and the crowd went crazy. Levi gave my waist another squeeze and chuckled against me.

“Great job babe!” He said against my cheek.

“You too! You were fantastic!” We could only hear each other, because the announcer was calling the other contestants up on the stage.

“ALRIGHT EVERYONE! We want to hear you cheer for the contests! We are passing around a form to begin the voting process for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place! After all of the votes are collected we will announce the winners!” He went on to make the closing announcements and then all of the votes were tallied. I was bouncing slightly as I stood next to Levi. Third place went to one of the dance teams. Second place went to the piano player. I frowned as I stepped closer to Levi. Maybe I had screwed up his performance?

“And our first place winners are-“ I held my breath and the lights bounced off the remaining contestants.

“Levi and Eren! Or should I say Yuki and Shuichi!” We grinned and he gave a hop. “And they win VIP passes to next year’s Sora con!” My eyes went wide as he reach us the certificates.

“WOO!” I gave Levi a hug and he laughed into my shoulder.

“Congratulations! See everyone next year!” We walked down the stage and somehow, with all of the other contestants, I managed to get separated from Levi. I reach for him as we walked down the stairs, but I was pushed away. He was shoved down towards the crowd and my heart started to race.

“OH LOOK! IT’S THE HOT ONE!” I heard a girl screech. I was pushed back against a wall, trying desperately to get to him. As the last girl crossed in front of me, I swallowed my panic and pushed through the crowd, looking frantically for that bright pink wig.

“Look at those abs!” I spotted Levi’s face. He was backed up against the front of the stage with a grimace on his face as quite a few girls were surrounding him. “SO CUTE! Why don’t we get out of here?” One girl said as she brushed against his arm with a giggle. Anger boiled inside of me and I stomped forward and shoved her backwards.

“Keep your filthy hands off of him.” Her eyes went wide and she raised her hand to me, but Levi took a step forward and caught it.

“SEE! HE WANTS ME! Asshole!” She bitched.

“Actually.” Levi said as he threw her hand towards her with a disgusted look. “The ONLY one I want is my soul mate Eren here. And even if it wasn’t, like hell I would go with any of you bitchy ass girls.” He said with cold eyes. “You are willing to hurt the one I love, just to get a chance with me. Fucking disgusting.” Levi laced our hands together. “I’m sorry I have to touch you with the same hand that touched her babe. It’s revolting.” One more glare and Levi tugged me towards the door.

We found a secluded room once again, because I felt the crushing tension in my chest, and I kicked a fucking chair over as soon as we were inside. Levi leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms as I kicked another chair over.

“Fuck!” I ripped off my wig and wig cap, then sat down next to the knocked over steel chair. I heard Levi sigh and join me in the floor. He set his own wig and cap next to mine and I looked up to see two pink hair clips pinning his bangs back. He reach out his hand and I took it in mine with a deep sigh.

“Wanna talk about it?” He was gently rubbing his thumb over mine, and the furrow in my brow relaxed a little. Even the slightest gestures from Levi soothed me. I felt the anger leaving me, bit by bit.

“I just…I was just so angry…” He moved and tugged me to set in between his legs on the floor. I scooted against the carpet and I considered just how much Levi loved me to be sitting on this filthy carpet. I felt his thighs wrap around me from behind as I leaned back against him and he wrapped his arms around me, leaning his head on my shoulder and taking my hand into his.

“Hmmm…” I felt him press a kiss to my shoulder and I sighed.

“Why did I get so pissed Levi?” He hugged me tight and kissed my shoulder again.

“Think about what you are feeling, babe. Why DID you get so pissed?” He kept his tone calm and soft and I squeezed my eyes shut. Why did I get pissed? I thought back to the way Levi was dressed and the way those girls were looking at him, pulling on him. And the way I rushed over and that sinking feeling in my stomach. Then it hit me. I dropped my head.

“I was jealous.” He gave my hand a squeeze and nibbled on my shoulder.

“Eren, you know there’s no reason to be jealous…” I was still looking at the floor, but my eyes were focused on his shoes. On his adorable little feet.

“I just…didn’t want them to touch you.”

“Mhmm….well they have nothing on you Turquoise.” His hand went up to stroke the side of my face beside of my eye. “I was about to cuss them out and push my way over to you, but you took care of that.” I felt my face blush and I leaned my head back against Levi’s shoulder, exposing my neck to him. “You are gorgeous Eren. You have absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to that area or any other area in terms of our relationship. You really are my soul mate.” He pressed a kiss right above my adams apple and I swallowed hard.

“You’re mine too, Levi. I couldn’t go on without you.” He pressed another kiss to my jawline and I could feel him smiling as he kissed.

“See? Then there’s nothing to be worried or angry about. We are here together. Just relax. When you are ready, we’ll walk back to the room and start packing.”

“Erwin has to work tomorrow, right?” Levi nodded and started drawing circles on my thigh.

“Yeah and you have school, so we need to head out tonight. I’d LOVE to stay another night here with you, but he can only get so many days off.” I took a few more calming breaths and Levi gave me another hug before we stood up. We scooped up our wigs and Levi pulled me right up against him as we walked out into the hallway.

“Look! It’s that idiot that yelled at me!” I looked straight ahead at the girl that touched Levi and he rolled his eyes.

“He doesn’t DESERVE that hottie!” The girl crossed her arms and glared at me and Levi tugged me close and stopped dead in his tracks.

“How about you shut the fuck up?” Levi said with a glare. He turned towards me and tilted my chin down ever so gently so my eyes met his. “Their silence sounds a whole hell of a lot better, don’t you think, Eren?” I smiled at him and he leaned up a bit to bring our lips together. Before I knew what was happening, he was pulling me closer, arms tugging at my waist and my own were around him, twisting in his hair. I felt the pink clip in his bangs and smiled against the soft lips on mine right before he deepened the kiss. Normally, in front of a group like this I would have been horrified and embarrassed, but in front of these girls I wanted to prove myself. Not to mention such a thing wasn’t too difficult with Levi’s strong arms around my waist. Warmth. Comfort. Strength. Encouragement. All of these things were coursing through my veins as we kissed and he pulled away slightly to place a final lick to my lips. The girls were staring at us in shock by the time Levi leaned our foreheads together and smiled at me. “Let’s get out of here, babe. We’ve got some packing to do.” His hand dropped from my hip down to my waiting hand and wove our fingers together. He smirked at the girls as he tugged me close to him and pushed past them. “Tch.” I felt their stares on our backs as we walked to the exit, but I couldn’t help the smile that overwhelmed me as we walked out.

Levi’s hand wrapped around mine felt warm and welcome and I was just so happy to be next to him. We walked back to the hotel and changed out of our cosplays back into regular clothes and after washing our faces we began to pack away everything. Luckily we had some pretty big bags to combine all of the little bags that we got in the merch room. I crammed as many as I could into my suitcase, along with the special bag I bought that I tucked carefully away.

By 7pm, everything was FINALLY packed and ready to go, and we were greeted by knocking on the door of our room. Erwin and Armin were standing there with a smile and they helped us with our extra things. Levi somehow convinced me not to worry about the pillows, so I shoved them both in Armin’s arms with a red face. He handed Erwin the HUGE bag full of merchandise, while they both stood there staring at the pillows. I ran back to grab my suitcase and Levi rolled his out behind me.

“Alright kids! Let’s head out!” Erwin said with a grin as we walked towards the elevator. After piling all of our stuff in the back of Erwin’s car, we climbed in the back with Hanji, while Armin hopped in the font with Erwin.

“UGHHH.” Hanji crawled under her own blanket and shoved it over her head.

“That’s what you get for downing all of those sweets!” Erwin said with a chuckle. Levi took out our own blanket and we snuggled up together underneath it as the car was cast in the orange light of the setting sun.

“Come here.” He moved a little and we stretched out on our side of the seat. I positioned myself between Levi’s leg’s and leaned back against his chest, under the blanket. He pulled the ipod out and I put my earphones in, nuzzling my head back against his chest. The last bits of sunlight were still shining in on the car.

_This one comes and this one goes_  
So here we are across the road  
In whispers, in whispers  
You say let it go, let it go home

 

I felt Levi’s fingers gently combing through my hair and I let out a content sigh against him. This weekend was everything I really wanted it to be and more. I was so thankful for him and for all of our friends. So thankful that fate had brought as all together.

 

_Taking all our time we rode_  
Through the town where we grew old  
Our stories and pictures  
Oh, we let them go, let them go home

 

I let out a yawn against him and he encouraged me to shut my eyes. It was just about dark now and sleep was pulling at me even though it was still early and our drive had just begun, but curled up like this against his warm body was so comforting. This was home. Before I knew it, my eyes were closing and I felt myself dozing against him.

_Oh, I have seen your beauty grow_  
Where all this fade, you shine and glow  
Our love will be legend  
If we let it go, let it go home.

 

 

 

__  
  
  


“Hmmm….”

“Eren, wake up.”

“No…” I felt my body shift and I clung to the warm that had been surrounding me. I felt Levi’s voice surround me and I cracked an eye open. He was smiling down at me and I snuggled closer to his chest as he carried me inside. Home? Were we home?

“Oh, so now you’re awake brat?” He grinned as he gently laid me down on the couch and went back for something. He waved at the car and carried his messenger bag inside. All of our luggage and bags were piled in the living room, and I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. “Sleepy head.” He ruffled my hair and I smiled.

“You carried me?” He nodded and kneeled in front of me.

“Erwin didn’t want to keep you for the night. You were my last piece of luggage.” He said with a chuckle. “So I had to take you.”

“Levi!”

“Come on brat, let’s head to bed. We have to pick Kirara up tomorrow.” He tugged me towards the bedroom after only grabbing the necessities from our bag and we brushed our teeth and sat down on the bed.

“Ugh…” I glanced around the room, noting only the normal lamp. It was probably still in the suitcase. “Be right back.” Levi raised his eyebrow, but went to work making sure the bed was ready for us. I frantically dug through the bags, looking for my little blue cat. After 10 minutes of digging and pulling everything out of the suitcase, there was absolutely no trace of it. “Shit…”

“Eren, what’s the matter?” I heard Levi descend the stairs and I looked up to see him in just his boxer briefs. “I’ve been waiting for you for-“ His eyes went wide as he saw the wreck that was now our living room.

“L-Levi I’m sorry…” I started trying to neatly fold everything back, but he caught my hand.

“Babe, it’s 3AM. What are you looking for?” He knelt beside of me on the floor and gave my shaking hand a pat.

“The night light. I can’t find it.” He covered his mouth.

“SHIT. Shit. Shit. Shit.” He tugged on his hair and stood up to kick the edge of the suitcase. “I KNEW I was fucking forgetting something. I forgot to unplug it from the room. Baby, I am SO sorry.” He got down on both knees in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders, desperately apologizing.

“Levi.” I took a deep breath and fell against him. He was so fucking scared that I would be upset? I just shook my head against him in disbelief. I could NEVER be mad at him. Especially over a material thing like that. “It’s okay. It was an accident. I forgot it just as much as you did.” I muttered against his shoulder and he rubbed my back. “I’ll be okay tonight.” He gave me a tight hug.

“But it’s my job to take care of you…” I shook my head against him again.

“Then what do you call this?” He nodded and pulled me to my feet. “Let’s go to bed.” He shut off the lamp by the bed, and I had expected the room to be bathed in the pale moonlight like before, but it was plunged into darkness. I whimpered against him and sunk down into his arms. My heart began to pound and I felt tears well up. Fuck. No. I would stay strong. I pushed them back and tried to relax into Levi’s arms. I felt his fingers in my hair once again and the blankets were being brought up around me.

“Shhhhh… Rest Eren.” He moved me a little in his arms and my head sunk against his chest so I was able to hear the throb of his heart.

_Thrum thrum thrum._

I shut my eyes and let it lull me. If I could just concentrate on that and Levi’s fingers in my hair, maybe I could fall asleep. Maybe the darkness would just disappear. _Thrum thrum thrum._ My thoughts began to get fuzzy and although Levi did whisper something to me, I couldn’t comprehend it as I dozed off again, fingers brushing his bare chest.


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's Surprise for Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just... 
> 
> yeah XD *hides in bush* 
> 
> The song is Iris- (Originally by Goo Goo Dolls) BUT Go listen to the Sleeping with Sirens version now. GO LISTEN. Because that's the version Eren plays for Levi ;) 
> 
> Also another short one, but eh <3 Love me anyways ^.^
> 
> Comments and love?? O.O

_Darkess. Crippling darkness was smothering me. Confining me. Chaining me. Relentlessly suffocating me. I tried to claw my way through it, away from the black confines that I knew would bring only pain, but there was no way out. I whimpered, my voice sounding loud in the echoing void. In that pitch black however there was something familiar. My stomach sank as I tried to move, confined to the single area. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, then I felt the sensation again. Warmth? I sighed and I timidly embraced the gentle feeling in the pitch black. Then something else familiar drifted around me. Levi’s cologne. I could recognize it anywhere. I felt a familiar hand brush against my cheek right before I was pulled back into the suffocation darkness. NO! LET ME GO!_

_“Shhhh…” I whimpered. Wait…. “Shhhhh. Babe. Rest. It’s still early.” Levi appeared in front of me, delicately maneuvering in the darkness. The only features I could see of him, was his pale skin that wasn’t covered by the long sleeve black shirt he wore or the black pants. My heart was pounding. He brought a gentle hand to my cheek to wipe away a tear. Had I brought Levi into my dark nightmares as well?_

_“BUT…but the darkness. What if Dad…”_

_“I’m here. He’s not going to hurt you while I’m around.” Levi took my into his arms and that familiar warmth overtook me again. I sighed against him._

_“Please…please don’t let him.” I begged him and he held me tighter. We sunk down to the floor and I relaxed into the familiar arms._

_“I won’t. You have my word.” He kissed my forehead and the world twisted around me, lifting into a lighter navy. The darkness around me was lifting slowly. Levi was here. That’s all that mattered._

 

Three days later

Eren’s POV

I was blushing as I thumbed the envelope in my hand. Was I really going to do this? I sighed as I looked at it. Tonight was our night off from work together and if I didn’t give this to him today, I would have to wait until next week and I would probably talk myself out of it by then. Shit shit shit.

“Eren! Your eggs are getting cold! Hurry up!” Levi called from downstairs. I whimpered as I grabbed my notebook and followed his voice into the kitchen. He was sitting on his own seat at the island, sipping on a cup of coffee. I swallowed hard and thrust the envelope into his hands.

“UGH-HERE!” I gave him a horrified look and ran towards the door, my heart pounding.

“What the fuck?!” I heard his chair scrape and damn was he fast. He ran in front of me and blocked the door with a raised eyebrow. “What’s this about? What about your breakfast?”

“Ugh, I-I…Ugh….” He grinned and glanced at the envelope.

“And you plan on going the whole day without your bag AND your shoes?” I turned blood red as I stumbled backwards. I whimpered and he caught my hand. “I think we need to discuss this, don’t you?”

“N-NO.” He tugged me towards the island and I sat down. He didn’t open the envelope, he just sat it down in the center of the island.

“Obviously you want me to read it after you leave, so.” He grinned devilishly. “Go ahead and eat. You aren’t going to school hungry.” I nodded and started on my breakfast. “Why are you so embarrassed? Get a bad grade or something?” I shook my head and glanced at the envelope.

“N-no…”

“Hmmm….” He picked up the envelope.

“You can read it. Just…don’t laugh.” Levi grinned and tore the envelope open. I could count the times I tried to get the wording right to try and make it sound sexy.

Levi,

                You are invited to a surprise night of fun tonight by a Mr. Eren Jaeger. Location: Our bedroom at 8PM.

                                                                                Eren

 

Levi nearly spit his coffee out as he eyed me.

“Y-You?!” I nodded as my face heated up even more.

“J-Just be there…if you want. I have a surprise for you.”

“Absolutely.” He grinned and kissed my hand. “I won’t miss it. But maybe…since we have a while before, how about a haircut?”

“I have an idea of what I want.” I brought the picture up to Levi’s eyes on my phone and he grinned.

“So pretty much just trim the bangs a little? And the dead ends off? I can do that.”

“If you don’t mind…and well…there’s something else.” He raised his eyebrow and leaned over to look at me. “Do you remember the girl at hottopic that had the blue in her hair?”

“Yes…”

“Can you….”

“Eren…” Levi put his face in his hands with a giggle. “You want blue hair?”

“Just my bangs. Maybe the right side, here.” I pointed to the right side part of my hair and he grinned. “Why? You don’t like the idea?” I frowned and Levi shook his head.

“Oh no. That’s not it at all babe. Good luck with me being able to keep my fucking hands off of you. I have a hard enough time as it is.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek and my face flushed red again.

After I finished eating and Levi had calmed my nerves a little, I managed to remember my bag and my shoes, then I headed off for school. A couple more days and I would be free!

 

 

 

“Stay still!” After Levi had given my hair a little bit of a trim, just the split ends, which there wasn’t much of, he started sectioning off my hair so he could bleach it and dye it. I stayed still as he worked the yellow paste into my hair and after he was content with it and nodded. I watched him clean the bathroom for a while, then he rinsed out the paste and after drying it he poured the blue onto my lightened hair. After another while of letting it set, and watching him scrub the kitchen his time, and helping him, we finally did the last rinse and I was left with a perfectly blue bangs on the right side.

“LEVI!!!” He put the hair dryer under the sink and smiled at me. “I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!!!” I jumped up and down as I stared in the mirror.

“You look hot, brat.” He played with the blue hair and grinned. “Well, I guess I’m banished to the living room now huh? It’s 7:30.” I nodded and kissed him before he smiled and descended the steps.

I swallowed hard as I went over to the closet and pulled out the purple skirt he had bought me in LA. I laid it out on the bed, along with my black corset top. I dug through the bottom drawer of my dresser and pulled out the bag that I had stashed away the day after we got home from the convention with Levi’s surprise inside. Hopefully he would like it and not think I was a freak. I took a deep breath and undressed beside of the dresser. I pulled on the panties, and after situating some things around, I grabbed the thigh highs and rolled them onto my legs. I looked at myself in the mirror and a cherry red blush spread across my cheeks. Holy shit… I fiddled with the lace on top of the sock and licked my lips. Hopefully Levi liked all this and I wouldn’t be making a fool out of myself. I gave a quick glace to the clock. 7:45

I ran to the side of the bed and pulled on the skirt, smoothing out the invisible wrinkles. I know Levi took meticulous care of all of the clothes in the closet, keeping them wrinkle and dust free. I put on my shirt next and made sure to brush my teeth and comb my hair. I wanted to be perfect for Levi. I walked over to the TV and brought up his playlist and just hit random. Hopefully something that would set the mood would come on. I sat on the bed and cross one leg over the other, just like Levi usually did and waited as I heard him climb up the stairs. Levi’s eyes fell on me and he leaned against the wall with a smile as his eyes looked me over.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

 

“Holy fuck.” He said as he pulled himself away from the wall and began to walk over to me. He stopped right in front of me and placed his hand on my knee. “You’re gorgeous…I mean…you’re always gorgeous but…damn.” His fingertips played with the edge of my skirt and I smiled at him. He leaned over me and tilted my chin up towards him so he could give me a gentle kiss. “mhmm….” I felt his hand running over my skirt, over the fabric and ruffles and my face was turning a darker shake. “Stand up for me. Let me get a better look.” He offered me his hand, which I gladly took and pulled me to my feet.

I stood in front of his and smiled shyly, pulling my skirt down a little. I watched his eyes take in every detail, all the way from the tips of my toes slowly up to the very top of my head.

 

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

 

“Eren….” Another soft kiss and his voice so low was already driving me crazy. I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked into his eyes, turned stormy from the obvious lust. “Can I…have a picture?” My eyes went wide and I took a step back.

“W-What?” He gave me a sexy grin and took my hand in his.

“A picture. Of my fucking sexy boyfriend.”

“L-Levi…” I looked down at my feet and Levi tilted my chin up.

“I won’t show it to anyone. I won’t set it as my background or any of that bullshit, unless you want me to. In which case I will, because you are setting me on fire right now, Eren.” I laughed a little at that and Levi kissed my cheek. “You are fucking beautiful.” That word made my heart flutter and come alive. Then I did exactly what I shouldn’t have done. I looked up into that grey eyes and they were staring straight into mine, sparkling like I was the only one that mattered in this world. “Eren, I love you.” And with that, one of the biggest grins I’ve ever had washed over my face and all of my embarrassment melted away.

I realized that Levi was okay with this. Not only that, but he fucking embraced this side of me. The side of me that wanted to be different. The side of me that wanted to be beautiful. That wanted to wear beautiful clothing. That wanted to impress him. AND he said I was beautiful in it. He had even wanted to set it as his background of his phone, he like it so much. I leaned forward to kiss him, bringing our lips together and after a brief kiss, with just a slight taste of each other I pulled back and stood next to the lamp.

 

_And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life_

 

“Go ahead. You can take a few if you want. Tell me how you want me.” He grinned.

“Oh, I can think of plenty of ways I want you, Jaeger.” My mouth fell open and he chuckled as he positioned me for the pictures. A few were sitting. One was laying. One standing. We even managed one together with the help of the timer on the camera.

“Mmm I think that’s enough. If I don’t put my hands on you right now, I’m just going to go insane.” He threw his phone on the table and ran his hands down my waist to my hips, right down to the edge of my skirt. I felt him thumbing the top of my skirt, pressing against me. I could feel his hard-on pressing against me, while my own strained against the lace of the panties. THAT was definitely a new sensation. They were super soft at least. Nothing compared to any of my normal underwear. I let out a little moan as his hand worked itself underneath the edge of the skirt and up my thigh. He gasped and gave me a look of surprise. “N-Nothing?!” I bit my lip and shook my head.

 

_'Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight_

 

“N-Not quite.” I moved my hand underneath the skirt on top of his hand to the middle of my thigh, where my boxer briefs would normally be, and slowly edged it up to the lace panties that I was wearing for the night. His breath hitched in his throat and his eyes squeezed shut for a second, before opening them back up to stare at me in disbelief.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?” He said it low and I could hear the pure lust dripping from his voice. It made my hair stand on end as he stroked at the edge of the lace. I let my hand fall away from his, as his breath tickled my throat. “Are you trying to give me blood loss, Eren?” I felt my face flush bright red and he gave me a devilish grin. “You better be prepared for what I’m going to do to you.” His other hand ran down my lower back, right over my ass. He went right up underneath my skirt and I cried out as he gave my right ass cheek a squeeze. “You’re asking for it. I’m going to make you feel so good.” His lips found my neck and I breathed out as my knees went weak. He let me fall into his arms as he worked on my neck.

 

  
_And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

 

“LEVI!” I felt his tongue dancing against my skin and I shuddered. “N-No marks. Gr-a-NGH.” He chuckled against my neck and I felt my body shift as he lifted me up and tossed me onto the bed. “AGH.” My shirt was pulled over my head and his mouth found my chest, licking and sucking. I felt the familiar pressure on my shoulder and I looked down with hazy eyes to see Levi practically feasting on me. “M-Marks.” He pulled away with a wet mouth and wiped it on his sleeve as he breathed hard and just opted to take off his shirt and toss it across the room. I took in every muscle. Every curve. He ran his fingers down my side as he looked straight into my eyes.

“Shhh, no one’s going to see you with your shirt off on graduation except me. Right?” I nodded furiously, forgetting this fact and combed through his hair with my fingers. Had I ever seen Levi this hungry before? This desperate to put his hands on me?

_When everything's meant to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

 

“P-Please!” His head darted back down, sucking, licking, and nibbling his way to the top of my skirt. “HNNNG!” He ran his fingers over the fabric draping my hips and kissed right beside of my belly button.

“Mhmm. Someone’s excited to show me what’s under the skirt?” He rubbed the front of my skirt, brushing over my cock and I whimpered.

“Levi! Fuck. Please!” He raised his eyebrow and tugged down my skirt, sucking in a breath as he did so. He threw my skirt in the floor and I felt him gently brush his fingertips against the lace of my panties. “Hmm.” It almost tickled his touches were so light and I was watching his every move through heavy lids.

 

  
_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies_

 

“Fuck Eren-“ His eyes were dancing right over me. Looking me up and down, before freezing right between my thighs. Right on the choice of lace boy shorts that I’d chosen. He tugged at the black lace lightly and even touched the purple detailing on the front of the panties, driving me absolutely wild. “You know JUST how to get me going, don’t you?” Levi brushed his hand over me again and I whined, my cry echoing through our apartment. He moved down my body a little, a serious look on his face as he caught the band of my panties in his teeth and began to pull them down.

“NGNNN LEVI!” I locked my eyes on the scene unfolding in front of me and Levi continued to slowly pull my panties down at a snail’s pace. Eventually my cock was freed from the confines of the lace, and Levi gave a hungry growl, finally giving up his patience and tossing the dainty garment in the floor.

 

_When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive_

 

“The socks are staying on. I hope you know that.” He ran his fingertips along the top of my sock and I nodded before he hopped off the bed. His pants and underwear were off in seconds and he dug through the drawer to find his prize. “Hands and knees. I want to see the way those socks hug your thighs from the back.” I flipped over, barely coherent from my hazy thoughts as I heard the cap pop open. Before I knew what was happening, I felt Levi nudge my legs further apart, and a cold digit pressed inside me. I was surprised, but it was still the same ever gentle motions as always. One hand was stroking my thigh, from the bottom of my hip to the top of my knee and back and it wasn’t very long until I was begging for a second which he gladly provided. “So hungry for more, brat.”

“OH, MMM.” My muscles were stretching to his will and within a few moments I knew patience was wearing thin for both of us. I edged away from him, even though the pleasure was nearly unbearable as he kept brushing over that sensitive spot inside. “Levi, fuck me! Just do it!” His eyes went wide and he crashed our lips together. I felt him nip my lip, and our tongues swirled together. Battling. Tasting. Claiming.

 

_And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

 

“Say it again! BEG!” He looked wild almost. “You are driving me insane right now. This is a side I’ve never seen of you Eren and I’m fucking dying to see and experience every moment of it.” The growl that escaped his lips as he roughly kiss my throat made me cry out.

“FUCK ME. Claim me. Do what you want!” Before I knew why or what was happening I heard the bottle pop open, I watched Levi coat himself, and he fucking lifted me off of the bed and carried me. “WHA- UGH!” He nudged me against the wall, a motion I KNEW was going to be rough on my back that he made gentle and even padded it with his own arm, before he leaned me back against it. My legs were around his waist, clinging to him and before I could get the question out, he was at my entrance, pushing in gently. I cried out and bucked against him, which made him lose his balance and fall against the wall and fill me all at once. “FUCK LEVI!” I scratched at his back as tears stung at my eyes from the sudden sting and the sudden pulse of pleasure running through me.

“ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!” I whimpered and buried my face against his neck. This had to be awkward for him, holding up my long legs and body like this, but damn he was strong. I nodded and clung to him, trusting him with every piece of me. Levi wouldn’t drop me. There wasn’t any chance.

 

_When everything's meant to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

 

“Yes, just move. Please!” I felt desperation tugging at me and Levi gave a sharp nod as he pulled back before pushing forward, making me move against the wall. I hung my arms around his neck, keeping tight against him, and I caught his bottom lip with mine. “Mhmm…” In the middle of our kiss, Levi struck that spot deep inside of me that made me scream and sling my head back. _Thump._ I whimpered as his hand left my back to worry in my hair at the bump, but he kept up his pace, pleasure reeling through my body. I moved my leg a little, sock sliding down my thigh slightly against his skin and a moan ripped through him as he picked up his pace.

“Fuck! So. Fucking. Good!” He was pounding me against the wall and my hand was gripping his hair, while the other dug into his back. I couldn’t control it. The pleasure was just too much. Too fucking overwhelming. Too.

“Hnnnng. LEVI!” I was about to burst as he slammed into me. It was too much. Chests were heaving against each other and he was just looking at me with those grey eyes that held so much love and trust. I switched hands from his hair to his shoulder and felt my nails bite into the skin there. He was moaning and panting and I couldn’t help but scream as the pleasure overtook me and I released between us. “Levi, Levi, Levi.” I kept repeating his name as he kept up his brutal pace. Over sensitivity crashed into me and tears started leaking down my face. “Levi.” My orgasmic bliss was washing over me at the same time as he was still pounding me against the wall and I just didn’t know WHAT to feel or what to do, but cling to him. I felt my cock twitch and I groaned. Levi tugged me close and adjusted me against him. We were both getting hot and sweat was making it hard to hold onto each other, but we were managing. Where did he get his fucking endurance and energy? My eyelids fluttered and he gave a particularly hard thrust, making my cock spring right back to life.

 

_And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

 

“AHHH!” I clawed at him again and lunged forward, placing my lips on his neck. Sure I was going to be graduating, but no one said Levi had to be mark free for graduation.

“Cocky little-“

“HNNNG! OH!” He slammed me so hard against the wall that we heard an odd sound behind me. I was throbbing in all the right spots, and I did NOT want Levi to pull me away from that wall, but he pulled me close and pulled me back just in time for a chunk of plaster to hit the floor with a thud.

_When everything's meant to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

 

“Shit.” He shrugged and gently lowered me to the floor a few feet away.

“We broke the w-mmmm” He shut me up as he pushed his tongue into my mouth and his cock right back where it should be. I screamed into the kiss and I could hear him moan right back. “HYAAAA!” I arched up off the floor as he thrust into me and I couldn’t control myself. My screams were tearing from my throat and Levi was doing absolutely nothing to stop them. His moans were louder than I’d ever heard them and I was coming undone at the sound of his voice. At the sight of his hungry eyes on me. At the beads of sweat dripping down his brow in concentration.

 

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

 

“EREN!” My eyes went wide as he called my name and he pulled my knee high back up before hoisting it up on his shoulder. “Fuck, you feel amazing. So tight.” I looked up at him as he thrust hard again, managing to go deeper somehow and my breath caught in my throat as my orgasm started to build. I couldn’t take it. I had to come. I had to release. This pleasure was just so-so-

“LEVI!” I arched up off of the floor again as I screamed and came hard, a panting a sweating mess underneath him. He held my leg tighter and thrust hard a few more times before finally coming with a moan and collapsing on top of me.

 

_When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

 

“Fuck babe.” We were sticky, sweaty and panting and fuck, I don’t know if I’d ever been so tired in my life. I know Levi was exhausted. His hair was stuck to my check in a damp mess and he finally lifted up his head to grin lazily at me. “That was amazing.” He rolled to my side and I nodded.

 

_I just want you to know who I am_

 

“Bed?” He groaned and lazily grabbed for the blanket. Good thing we had both taken our medicine earlier. He pulled the comforter off the bed by its corner and luckily drug a pillow with it. He draped the blanket over us and placed the pillow under his head and he pulled me against his chest and I was perfectly fine as using him as my pillow. “Levi…”

“Mhmm…”

“We broke the wall…” he chuckled and hugged me tighter against him as I glanced back at the now visible Eren shaped hole in the wall and the chunk of plaster in the floor.

“That’s what we’ve got Erwin for. Go to sleep babe.” I grinned against his chest before kissing him goodnight. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Our legs intertwined, my thigh high clad ones and his bare ones. All we really needed to keep warm on the spring night was each other, but the added warmth of the blanket was nice. The steady _thrum thrum thrum_ of his heartbeat was even nicer.

 


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren spend the day together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGHH First I want to say THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! I've had over 16,000 views? OMG!!! THANKS!
> 
> Secondly I want to apologize (again) for being so awful at responding to comments -.-' BUT I assure you I read every single one!!! I'll try to get better!!!
> 
> Thirdly- THIS IS NOT EDITED BECAUSE IT IS HELLA LONG. LIKE SERIOUSLY O.O NOPE. SORRY XD If you see a bad mistake, let me know and I'll fix it. Thanks!
> 
> The songs for the chapter-  
> James Dean & Audrey Hepburn-Sleeping with Sirens  
> I Caught Fire - The Used  
> You Are The One - HIM
> 
> Please Please keep commenting.

Levi’s POV

 

I scooped a few extra blueberries onto Eren’s pancakes as I heard him descending the stairs. Right on time. I finished it off with some cool whip and then I heard his voice ring throughout the apartment.

“I already told you no, Armin. No, No, No.” I raised an eyebrow at him as he spoke into his phone with a red face. “You guys can go have a good time without me really.” He sat down at the island and huffed. “No, it’s not because of that. YES, I promise. FINE!” He slammed his phone on the counter and hit the speaker button. “Levi, tell him I’m not going to the stupid school event this evening.”

“I guess he’s not going Armin.” I said as I spooned a few raspberries onto his plate.

“He doesn’t want to go because YOU can’t go Levi! It’ll be fun, Eren! There will be games, and raffles and bingo…” He put his face in his hands and huffed again.

“Armin, I don’t want to go because half o that school hates my guts. Have you thought about that?” The line went silent for a minute.

“Oh….”

“Yeah. I get remarks every day that I walk through the hallway. Even though Levi beat the shit out of Connie, I still get made fun of. And Connie and his gang still give me hell, so there’s no telling what they’ll do without all of the usual supervision.”

“I get it Eren!”

“I just want you to understand. Please go have a good time with Mikasa and everyone. Really.”

“Alright….Just….Levi, take him out and make sure he has a good time today. Please.” I smiled as Eren looked up with a blush.

“I’ll plan something special blondie. Don’t worry about that.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you at school Eren.”

“See you Armin.” The line went dead and I ran my fingers over Eren’s hand.

 

“Eat up babe, your breakfast will get cold.” I sat beside of him and we dove into our pancakes together.

“Show wrant dro-“

“Swallow first.” I poked his forehead and he nodded, happily chewing his bite.

“What do you want to do today?” he licked his lips before diving back into his pancakes as I answered. Luckily, Isabel had given us both the next three days off for his “graduation festivities”, she claimed. Even though he insisted he only needed one day off.

“How about we use our gift cards and go pick out fabric for that blanket you wanted to make?” He did a little jump in his chair and grinned before quickly chewing his bite.

“REALLY?!”

“Yeah, we can go to Shinganshina if you want to. It’s not that far. I’ll get a car and pick you up after school.”

“Can we?!”

“Sure. Now finish up or you’ll be late.”

 

 

After I saw Eren off to school, I cleaned up the living room and the kitchen, making sure there weren’t any messes that I hadn’t spotted.

“MEEEEEOW!!!”

“No little girl, you’ve already had breakfast.” She brushed up against my leg and I chuckled.

“MEOW MEOW GRREEEEOOOOW.” I shook my head and pulled open the draw that USED to hold pot holders…that was pre-cat. Now it nearly spilled over with little mice, cat bells, catnip sacks and treat bags.

“I’ll give you a few if you promise not to tell daddy, since you’ve been a good girl. Deal?”

“MEEEW.” I stroked her behind the ear as I fed her a few cheesy treats. I sealed up the bag and tossed her a furry mouse from the drawer that she immediately tackled.

“La la Hmm hmm how’s it go?” She only glanced up from her mouse for a second before diving back down. “Oh yeah, soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr-“ _thump._ She bumped into the coffee table and bit her mouse. “Kirara.” I laughed as I heard the mail drop through the letter box and I walked to the front door. “let’s see what the postman brought today. Maybe the new sales flyer for Petco, huh?” I said with a chuckle. I saw her swat the mouse across the living room as I scooped up the pile. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I picked it up.

**Armin: Just a favor, cheer Eren up a little. I know I asked earlier, but I know he’ll be feeling left out. The people at school DO treat him really badly. There are some that are great to him, but a lot of people in this town are just assholes. He deserves a nice night out. Especially the night before celebrating being rid of all of those idiots.** **J Thanks for taking care of my friend!**

I tucked the mail under my arm and texted Armin back.

**To Armin: You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll show him a great time. We’ll have a blast and he won’t even be thinking about those idiots. :] Have fun tonight, blondie.**

Just as I was about to stuff my phone back in my pocket it vibrated again.

“Fucking hell….”

**Eren: AGHHH WHAT COLORS?! I’ve been thinking about it ALL MORNING. I’m excited!!!**

I chuckled and shook my head.

**To Eren: Only you and little old ladies think all day about what colors they want to make their blankets. HA xoxo I love you brat.**

**Eren: We’ll still have a blast making it together! ;) talk to you at lunch! He caught me staring at my crotch!!! :o**

I cackled as I read it and stuffed my phone into my pocket as I sorted through the letters.

“Kirara…the fucking Petco flyer DID come.” I laughed as I set it down on the table. More coupons. Coffee coupons. College applications for Eren. He needed to get on those. Bills. June manga. I raised my eyebrow. Fuck…the last time I got a letter from June, they wanted me to tour. Did they want another? Luckily Eren could go with me this time. We’d have to fly economy the whole way to save money, but I really didn’t mind.

I opened the letter.

 

**Levi Ackerman,**

**We are really pleased with your progress at June Manga. In order to see you further progress and expand in the company, we are offering you a full scholarship to Tokyo Design Academy. We will provide room and board as well in the form of an apartment, as well as a monthly living allowance for you and a spouse/friend of your choosing if you choose to accept this offer. You will be given credit for the classes that you have currently taken to progress further into the program. We feel that this will sharpen your skills to an incredible level, and you will be able to communicate directly with the home office here at June Manga. Please contact us here in the office with your decision by August 13 th. Thank you.**

**June Manga**

My hands we shaking as I held the paper. Tokyo. Tokyo. TOKYO. FUCKING TOKYO?!?! HOLY SHIT. My eyes went wide and my heart was pounding in my chest. NO FUCKING WAY. I have to tell Eren- WAIT….What if he takes this the wrong way?! SHIT. Shit shit shit. My hands began to shake and I picked up my phone.

“HELLLOOOOOO!!!!”

“HANJI!”

“LEVIIIII!”

“I NEED YOU TO MEET ME. NOW. Is Erwin free?”

“Ugh, let me call and see. Are you alright?! What’s wrong?! Are my sweetie pies okay?!”

“Ugh, yeah. I just need your opinion on something important….like right this second.”

“SURE!!! I’ll call him!” After she got ahold of him, they dropped by to pick me up and took me by the mall so we could get a soft pretzel, because Hanji insisted everything that was important could be solved with a soft pretzel covered in butter and salt. All three of us sat on a bench together. They munched on their pretzels and sipped on their slushies, while I just stared at mine.

“Okay, since you are letting your thinking food get cold, what’s up short stuff?” Hanji said with a smile. I dug the letter out of my pocket and handed it to her. Her eyes darted over the page and she crammed it into Erwin’s hands, looking at me with wild eyes. “YOU’RE LEAVING US?!” I shook my head.

“I don’t fucking know what to do…I don’t want to scare Eren away with that…” I frowned and set my food next to me, laying my head in my hands. “He’s graduating tomorrow with a full scholarship to wherever he wants to go and I don’t want to pull him in any direction without giving him a chance to choose first. He’s so bright and-“

“Levi, let’s me honest. Japan’s schooling system is SO much better than ours-“

“But he doesn’t fucking know the language. It’s going to be SO hard for him. I just don’t know. I don’t want to dump this on him and pressure him.”

“He knows this is a dream of yours, right?” Erwin asked with an eyebrow raised in my direction. I kept my head tilted down. “To visit Tokyo and work there?” I stayed silent. “Levi.”

“NO. I haven’t told him. I just…I’m sure he knows because I draw manga and that’s what any manga artist wants to do, but…” I looked up with pleading eyes. “What if he doesn’t want to go with me? I can’t bare to be apart from him.”

“Then just decline the offer.” I nodded.

“I don’t want this to come between us. In ANY way. I’m so scared. I don’t want him to think if he says no that I’ll be mad either and leave or anything like that. UGHHH.” I pushed my face in my hands again and stared at the floor, noticing something staring at me under the bench. A sales flyer. Then it hit me. My eyes went wide and I bolted up off the bench, tugging Hanji and Erwin with me.

“YOUR FOOD!”

“I DON’T CARE!” I pulled them to the store that was on the front of the sales flyer and glanced at the cases in front of me.

“Hello everyone! Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for a ring.”

“LEVI?!” Hanji nearly screamed it out and slammed her hands down on the case. I felt Erwin’s hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t you think it’s a little soon to be-“

“A promise ring.” I heard them both sigh behind me and I walked with the lady as she took me to a section of rings.

“Does she like diamonds?” I looked down in the case and frowned these were more like engagement rings.

“Ugh, HE would probably like something more simple. A band maybe?” She nodded and took me to a case of bands. I looked down at the silver bands and nodded. “These are better.” I pointed to one with a stone and diamond inlay.

“What is this one?”

“This one is a platinum band with a ring of marble around the middle and right above that is the row row of inset diamons.” I nodded and turned it in my fingers.

“Eh…do you have any other stones?” She pulled out a box from underneath the register to show me all of the rings to choose from. “This one.” I grabbed the ring out of the box and smiled at it. It was inlayed with turquoise and diamonds. The combination was just brilliant and made me think of his eyes in every way.

“What size?” My eyes went wide. Maybe Mikasa knew? I texted her my question and my reasoning behind it (leaving out the Tokyo part) and luckily she knew.) “Alright, I’ll look in the back and see if we have one!” I looked back to Hanji and Erwin and they grinned at me.

“So…so you guys think he’ll like it?”

“He’ll love it Levi. Not to mention he’ll practically have a year’s rent on his hand.” Erwin said with a laugh.

“HEY!” I gave his shoulder a playful smack and Hanji cackled.

“We have it! Just give us 30 minutes or so to get it cleaned and boxed up for you, Mr. Ackerman. Now, how will you be paying?” I let out a chuckle and pulled out my debit card.

“Debit.” She rang everything into the register, including my warranty and I got my card ready. I already knew platinum wasn’t cheap, but Eren was precious to me.

“$3,735.98.”

“HOLY SHIT.” Erwin said as he stared at me in disbelief. “FOR A FUCKING PROMISE RING?!” I shrugged.

“I love Eren. He’s special to me.” I slid my card and after waiting 30 minutes for the ring to be shined to perfection, we left the mall.

“So when are you going to talk to him? Tonight?” Hanji asked as she hopped in the front seat.

“No. I think I’ll give it to him with his other graduation present. That way he can’t be upset.”

“What else did you get him?”

“Tickets to see the Amity Affliction next month.”

“SERIOUSLY?! AGHHH HE’S GOING TO LOVE YOU!!!” I grinned and leaned back against the seat. Hopefully he wouldn’t be upset with my news.

 

 

A few hours later

After I picked up the rental, which took longer than it should have, because the guy at the front desk gave me hell about my age, I finally arrived at the school to pick up Eren. He was waiting out front with Mikasa, Armin and Jean. They all looked so happy together and I leaned out the window with my phone to snap a picture. Eren waved at me and I just opted to shut off the car and climb out. Hell, there was no one left outside anyways, aside from a few students waiting for rides.

“Take a few pictures guys. It’s your last day of school.”

“Awww Levi is getting sentimental.” Jean said with a laugh.

“Only when it comes to Eren.” I winked and they leaned up against the statue. I got a better picture this time of all of them smiling brightly.

“Here! I’ll take one of you and Levi!” Mikasa said with a grin. Eren blushed a little, before I slung my arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. “So cute!”

“Alright! One with ALL of us!”

“HOW?!” All of us crammed up against the base of the statue and Jean, who seemed to have the longest arms reach out my cell phone and angled it down.

“Levi, scoot down in front of Eren. You are short so you need to be in front. Armin, nudge over this way.” We scrunched together and Jean attempted the first picture. My face got cut off and Eren laughed.

“Get closer Levi! I won’t bite!”

“I know THAT’S a fucking lie!”

“EWW EWW EWW!” Mikasa howled. Armin was cackling. I felt Eren tug me closer and bury his chin in my hair.

“Try it again, Jean! I’ve got him closer!” Jean took the picture and this time it was perfect. He handed my phone back and after we promised we would all have a good time, we headed out.

“Levi, I’m hungry.” Eren groaned as he slid into the seat.

“We’ll stop and eat in Shinganshina later.”

“I’m really hungry now.” He pouted at me and I sighed. “I didn’t eat lunch.”

“Why not?!” I put the car into drive after connecting my phone.

“It was some kind of sludge they were trying to give us, so I didn’t eat it.”

“Well, can’t say I blame you there. What do you want?”

“Cake?”

“Eren…” I shot him a serious look and he grinned.

“They have bagels at the bakery too, right?”

“You better get a fucking bagel. I swear if you only get cake-“ he leaned over in the seat and licked at my neck, nearly making me slam on the breaks-“YOU LITTLE SHIT!” he chuckled against my skin and leaned back into his seat. “Don’t think you can get your way just by doing that!” I could feel my face heating up as the car behind me honked. I drove to the bakery and parked in the lot behind it, since the parking in front was full. We had to walk about the side of the building and Eren took the opportunity to capture my hand in his as we walked in the warm sunshine. Before we rounded the corner however, he slammed me up against the side of the wall and dove down to give me a kiss. A hard deep one, that only made me weave my arms around his waist to pull him closer. I felt him press me right up against the wall with his knee in between my legs and I shuddered. As I gasped out for a breath, his lips fell to my neck, only to kiss for a minute before pulling back the collar of my shirt to reveal my shoulder. He nipped gently and the kissed and sucked, leaving his mark. I could feel myself slipping into that familiar haze against the wall…that was until a car honked at us. FUCK.

“Eren…Eren stop!” He looked up at me with hungry eyes and I tilted my head against his. “B-Babe, we’ve got things to do today. Blanket right? Don’t you want to go to Shinganshina with me?” My voice was shaky, but I HAD to get it under control. As much as I wanted to take him right here in broad daylight on this sidewalk, I don’t think the cities finest would appreciate the indecent exposure that much. He blinked a couple of times before I pulled out of his grasp to land a few kisses on his lips and cheeks. “I know I want to go to take you out.”

“Fine, fine.” He stepped to my side and simply took my hand again as we walked to the front of the bakery. He stared into all of the sweets cases with delight.

“Real food, Eren.”

“LEEEEVIIIIII.” I huffed and crossed my arms.

“Get something that counts as real lunch and you can have ONE sweet. And a drink. That’s eat.” He grinned and hopped up to kiss my cheek.

“Thank you thank you!” He ordered himself a bagel with cream cheese and a chocolate cupcake. I went ahead and make it two, with two sweet teas to go. We hurried back to the car so we could make it to Shinganshina with plenty of time to shop. I hooked my phone back up to the car and rolled down the windows and opened the sunroof, before turning the radio up.

 

_Stay for tonight_  
If you want to  
I can show you  
What my dreams are made of

 

“How’s your bagel?” He gave me a thumbs up and we drove on with the wind rushing through the car and the sun shining down on us. After he finished his bagel he took the two cupcakes out of the bag and peeled mine out of the wrapper.

“Open up.”

“I’m driving!”

 

_As I'm dreaming of your face_  
I've been away for a long time  
Such a long time  
And I miss you there  
I can't imagine being anywhere else  
I can't imagine being anywhere else but here

 

“I’ll feed you! Duh!” I grinned and shot him a glance. His hair was wildly tossing in the wind, blue bangs mixing with soft brown and I couldn’t help but laugh as he pushed the cupcake towards me.

“Alright.” I kept my eyes on the road as I bit into the cupcake, getting chocolate frosting ALL over my nose and lips in the process. After I swallow I giggled. “Eren, it’s your job to keep me clean!”

 

_How the hell did you ever pick me?_  
Honestly, I could sing you a song  
But I don't think words can express your beauty  
It's singing to me

 

He leaned over the center console with a napkin and began wiping at my nose and chin. I licked the frosting off of my lips before he fed me another bite. Damn, that was one good cupcake. Maybe it was just sweeter because Eren was feeding it to me. After I finished off the last bite, he threw away the wrapper and started on his own cupcake.

  
_How the hell did we end up like this?_  
You bring out the beast in me  
I fell in love from the moment we kissed  
Since then we've been history

 

I tapped on the steering wheel to the song and kept glancing over at him. He was adorable today. Not like he wasn’t any other day, but I was really digging the blue in his hair. Not to mention he was wearing his tripp pants and a blank tank top thanks to the warm weather today. The early morning workouts were definitely toning his arms. I grinned at him and returned my eyes to the road.

 

_They say that love is forever_  
Your forever is all that I need  
Please stay as long as you need  
Can't promise that things won't be broken  
But I swear that I will never leave  
Please stay forever with me

 

“What?” He looked at me and I shook my head.

“Just thinking about how sexy you are today.”

“Not as sexy as you.” I chuckled and reach my hand over to his.

 

_It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are_  
What my dreams are made of  
Can't fall asleep, can't fall asleep  
I lay in my bed awake, in my bed awake at night

 

“I love you Eren. You know that right? More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

“Don’t say it that way.” He leaned his head against my arm. “When you say it like that, it seems like you are saying goodbye…”

 

_As I dream of you_  
I'll fall in love, you'll fall in love  
It could mean everything, everything to me  
I can't imagine being anywhere else

 

“Why would I tell you goodbye? You are MINE. I’m not letting anyone else have you. You know what I said before about people taking my things.” He giggled against my arm. “We are going to be together for a long time, Eren Jaeger. At least I hope that’s still want you want.” I heard him hum in agreement against my arm.

 

_The way that we are_  
Is the reason I stay  
As long as you're here with me  
I know I'll be OK

 

“More than anything in this world.” My heart calmed a little and as we rolled to a stop at a red light, I leaned down to kiss the top of his head. “Almost there babe.” He sat up and smiled at me.

_(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one baby)_  
They say that love is forever  
Your forever is all that I need  
(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one girl)  
Please stay as long as you need

 

“I’m so excited!!!” We pulled into the parking lot and he practically jumped out of the car. I put my phone in my pocket and grabbed the keys, and after locking the car, I ran after him.

“Babe! Let’s get a cart!” He stopped at the door and ran back to me as I pulled a cart from the row. “Do I need to get one of those Monkey backpacks for you, Jaeger?”

“NO. No, I’ll calm down! Really!” I raised my eyebrow and a grin crept over my lips.

“Let’s go.” We walked to the fabric section and he pulled out a paper from his pocket. It was a swatch of colors he’d made in colored pencil. Teals,turquoises, greens, blues, silves, greys, blacks and whites. They were all beautiful. His pattern was underneath that page with the amounts of fabic for each portion he would need.

We strolled the aisles and ended up in the grey section. He thumbed through the bolds of fabric and pulled out a two toned silver one. It was dark grey with bright silver zig zags.

“What do you think about this one, Levi?”

“I like it.” He tossed it in the cart and moved along the wall. Picking up a plain grey, plain black, and plain white as we went. Then we moved on to the turquoise section. He let me pick out several bolts of silver and turquoise fabric that I was eyeing, while he grabbed a bolt of plain teal and tossed it in the cart.

“What about THIS?!” He picked up a bolt and showed it to me. I rolled my eyes at him as he held the vibrant bolt of fabric.

“Do you really want Pokemon on this blanket?” He grinned like an idiot and shoved it back onto the wall.

“Maybe not.”

“How about we save that for the next one? We can make a giant blanket for the couch so we can snuggle up under it and watch anime together?”

“Sounds like a plan!” He winked at me and we walked by the seasonal fabric. “Look elves!”

“NO.”

“HAHA!” He glanced at the fabrics on the seasonal wall and pulled out a bolt. “Levi! We should get this for Kirara’s piece of the blanket!” I looked at the pattern. A black background with little cats and hearts on it, obviously left over from Valentine’s Day that said ‘You’re Puuurfect For Me’ I snorted and nodded and he hugged me before dropping it in the cart.

“How many more?”

“Two more.” We ended up picking out a black and red Kanji print and a grey Chinese dragon print. As he stacked all of the bolts on the table and put in his fabric cutting order, we picked out his batting, thread and all of the odds and ends.

“Do we really need ALL of this, Levi?” He looked at the blue pen in my hand and I nodded.

“Yes. You’ve never really sewn before and all I have are the bare basics for hemming. This is for marking fabric. It disappears with a little water. I threw a pair of good scissors into the cars along with a cute little turtle pin cushion that Eren insisted on, about 1000 pins, because I knew we would probably lose all of them and anything else the lady at the counter suggested.

“OH! Let’s get this!” Eren picked up a sewing basket from the wall and I chuckled.

“You want a sewing basket?”

“Yes, but….this one!” He switched to the plain white one and I hesitantly took it and put it in the cart. “We can decorate it together!”

“Oh, I got it!” After spending nearly two hours in the store, we skipped any other plans in Shinganshina and drove back.

 

 

“Can we stop at Anteiku?”

“You want to go by work?”

“I want to get a few stickers for our basket. Maybe a keychain for the handle. If you don’t mind?” I ruffled his hair and smiled.

“Anything for you, my turquoise beauty.” I swear his face turned 10 different shades of red, but eventually we arrived at Anteiku.

“Welcome to Ant- BIG BRO! EREN!!! UGH!! Come give me a hug.” Isabel was sitting at the register on her stool. We both walked over and gave her a hug and she smiled at us.

“Not feeling well tonight?” I asked as I leaned against the register.

“Nope. Farlan made something weird for dinner-“

“It wasn’t weird. It was beef stew!” He called from the other side.

“WELL IT MADE ME PUKE!” She sipped her tea and rolled her eyes. “So what brings you in babies?”

“Eren wanted stickers for our sewing basket.”

“Shop away. It’s not like you don’t know where everything is.” She said with a wink. “I’d love to look around with you, but I’ll stick around here. I gave her a pat on the back.

“Just rest. Hope your sickness eases up soon.”

“Thanks Aniki!”

I followed Eren to the sticker rack and my fingers danced at the nape of his neck as he looked. I curled his hair around my fingers and grinned as he shook and wiggled back and forth.

“Your hair is pretty long. It looks sexy after that cut and die. I pretty much can’t-“ I ran my hand down his back and glanced back at Isabel who was thumbing through her phone now. I ran it down his lower back and hooked a finger in his belt loop, leaning closer so I could whisper directly into his head. “Keep my hands OFF. OF. You.” With each word I nudged my hand lower, until I wound up giving his ass a squeeze. He whimpered quietly, before turning around in my arms.

“L-Levi!” He buried his face in my hair and I laughed.

“It’s the truth. Don’t you want stickers?” He groaned and turned to face the case with a frown. I tugged at his belt loop again, but I didn’t let it go any further than that, because Isabel was smiling our way.

“H-how about Death Now, Shingeki No Kyojin, Sword Art Online and Black Butler?” I pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Sounds good. What about a keychain?” We moved over to the keychain side and his eyes lit up.

“LEVI!!!”

“Go ahead and grab them.”

“ISABEL! WHEN DID THE SNK KEYCHAINS COME IN?!”

“This morning! Aren’t they cuties! I knew you would love them!” He yanked a Shifter and a Captain off of the display and I took the pile of stickers and keychains from his hands. We walked up to the register together and Eren was practically hopping.

“Can you add one of the Anteiku stickers too?”

“Sure!” She pulled one off of the top of the register and added it. I paid for the order after our killer discount and after our goodbyes to Farlan and Isabel, we headed home.

 

 

“What next?” I sat the bags down in the living room and smiled at Eren.

“Well, how about we cut the squares and paint a few?”

“Sure. This is your evening after all.” I smiled at him and pulled him in for a brief kiss before he ran upstairs to change his pants. I was fine wearing what I had on, but I didn’t want him getting paint on his Tripp pants. I pulled a drop cloth out of the closet and threw it down in the floor before throwing down a couple of pillows.

“Here, catch!” Eren tosses a ball of fabric at me and I caught it just in time. I looked at the blue tank top and one of my black bandanas.

“I was just going to paint in this.”

“So you get to see me in a tank top, but I don’t get to see you? No fair!” He pouted and I shook my head.

“Here brat. I’ll do you one better.” I tossed the tank top on the couch and pulled my shirt over my head. I pulled on the bandana and Eren was staring at me in wonder.

“Y-You…”

“You just going to stare?” I grinned and grabbed the bags from where I dropped them.

“N-NO!” He tugged his tank over his head and tossed it at me.

“Eren, you don’t have to-“

“I want to!” I snickered and plopped down on my cushion.

“Come and sit. Let’s work.” I turned on our regular playlist and we went to work on the fabric first. Carefully measuring out 10 ½ inch squares.

_Seemed to stop my breath_  
My head on your chest  
Waiting to cave in

Eren was carefully separating the fabric into piles. I’m guessing piles to be painted and piles to be left as they were. We finally got everything cut and he smiled at me.

“OH! Go grab the album Hanji made us!” I stood up and went to grab it, while I heard him digging through bags. When I returned he was already painting on the white sewing basket. There were Silver and Turquoise Swirls all over it and he had me get the duplicate photo from Valentine’s Day out of the back of the page. He glued it to the top. After some trimming, he added all of the stickers and keychains.

_From the bottom of my..._  
Hear your voice again  
Could we dim the sun  
And wonder where we've been

“Do you like it?!” He held up the basket, eyes shining in excitement. I took it into my hands and grinned.

“I love it.” I leaned over and captured his lips, accidentally tipping over his water cup.

“LEVI! Careful!” He chuckled as he quickly moved his fabric away from the turquoise water. It was staining his jeans but he just shrugged. I laughed and moved my lips to his neck.

“I’ll be so fucking happy when this mess is over and I can do whatever I want to you again.” His neck heated up underneath my lips and he whimpered.

“One more day, Levi!” He was beaming at me and I nodded, pulling back a little to look at the fabric.

“Okay, so what’s the plan?”

“You can paint on a few and I’ll paint on these.” He laid a few of the solid color squares in front of me and pushed the brushes and paint tubes towards me before getting up to grab more water.

“You’re turning turquoise, Jaeger!” I called after him as I watched the color continue to run down his pant leg.

 

_Maybe you and me  
So kiss me like you did_

 

“You call me that anyway, so I guess it fits.” He returned with a full cup of water and a brilliant smile.

“Don’t ever stop smiling. Promise me that, Eren.” He leaned against my shoulder and nodded.

“I’ll try my best. It’s easier when I have you by my side.” I buried a kiss in his hair before starting on a grey square. Just a simple black line sketch of Eren and myself together holding hands. Eren was already painting the Captain and the Shifter in full color on one block. We set our first blocks aside to dry and started on the second set. I painted Eren’s eyes in full detail, actually feeling brave enough to add color.

 

_My heart stopped beating  
Such a softer sin_

 

“LEVI! MY EYES’S!!!” He leaned over on my knee and looked at my piece. “Do your’s next!!!” I nodded, before kissing his cheek and setting the block aside. He was starting on the Wings of Freedom symbol. The rest of the blocks were filled in with wings, keys, and our favorite anime characters. I knew he’d sneak in Yato somewhere, so I made a block with Sebastian and Ciel. He also painted a block with Kirito in it.

 

  
_(I'm melting, I'm melting)_  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while

 

“I’m tired!” he huffed as he tossed his brush in the water cup.

“Here, let’s move these to the other side of the living room to dry.” I picked the blocks up and moved rest of them to the bare corner of the living room out of the way, leaving Eren sitting by the bags and paint on the drop cloth. I picked up the fabric and neatly tucked it away into the bags before storing it under the coffee table. “Come on brat, get up.”

“NOOO. Just leave me here.” I sat down beside of him and he laid back, knocking the water cup over violently, splashing purple on me in the process.

“LEVI! I’M SO-“

“YOU LITTLE BRAT!” I swiped my fingers through the blue paint and smeared it across his chest. His eyes went wide before we both burst out laughing. I tenderly brought our lips together, knowing very well that this was the man I would be making that special promise to tomorrow. That I would be more than happy spending my entire life with. His smile lit up my life, and made my world turn.

 

_And I'm melting_  
In your eyes  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me  
Lay with me  
Now

 

“Hey Levi, You know what colors make purple?!”

“YOU WOULDN’T?!” He smeared red on my chest before he straddled me and pressed our chests together.

“WE MAKE PURPLE!!!!” He was smiling so brightly, I swear I hadn’t seen his eyes sparkle so much. I leaned up to kiss him, ignoring the slickness of the paint between up and I couldn’t help but grin against his mouth as my heart soared.

He leaned his forehead down to mine and laughed. Actually laughed. A warm heart-felt laugh and it made me want to cry from happiness. Is this what it actually felt like? To have a loving home? To have someone you wanted to come home to at the end of the day?

 

__  
Never caught my breath  
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess

 

“Was that cheesy?” I shook my head and hugged him close as I enjoyed his warm skin against mine, no matter how filthy with paint we were.

“No, it was cute. I’ll make art with you any day, babe.” I grinned and a blush crept over his cheeks. He pressed a kiss to my neck before pulling back.

“Can we…make art now?” I raised an eyebrow before nodding. He dipped his finger in some more blue paint before smearing it over my collar bone. “Your body is beautiful, Levi…every inch of it.” My eyes went wide and I couldn’t even think of a reply. I felt my face heat of and I averted my eyes and Eren turned them right back. This guy….that was so broken, that had been completely falling apart had rescued me from myself. He’d made me learn to love harder than I’d ever loved anyone else before. Blue paint was smeared down my abs, mixing with bits of red and purple, making me shiver. Eren licked at my lips before I rolling off of me to start on the button of my pants.

 

_Ever know each other_  
Trust these words are stones  
why cuts aren't healing  
Learning how to love

 

“W-Wait.” I said it desperately. Knowing very well where this was leading. I hopped up and being very careful not to drip paint anywhere I ran up stairs to the bedroom and grabbed the first bottle of lube I could find before running back down. “Sorry, I-“

Eren yanked my pants and underwear down before smearing green onto both on my hips and running his hands over my thighs. I shivered and my knees buckled as I fell against him. What was happening to me? All of this because he told me I was beautiful? Surely now. He was sucking on my neck again and I was panting against him, chest against chest, my arms wrapped around him so I wouldn’t fall over.

 

_I'm melting (I'm melting)_  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while  
And I'm melting  
In your eyes  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me  
Lay with me  
(Stay with me lay with me now)

 

“I’ve got you. Trust me.” I nodded and just like he said he caught me. I loosened my grip and though he didn’t particularly look it, I knew Eren was strong. Physically and emotionally. We had worked hard on it together. He wouldn’t let me fall in either department. I whimpered against him, looking down to notice he’d already tossed the rest of his clothes across the room. I timidly leaned over and dipped my fingers in the blue paint again and began to paint a wing on his back. “Mhmm….that feels nice.” I kissed his shoulder as I lazily painted and after I wiped off my fingers, I added a white wing to the other side. “Picture.”

 

_You could stay and watch me fall_  
And of course I'll ask for help  
Just stay with me now  
Take my hand

 

“Were fucking naked.” I murmured against his shoulder, wiping off the excess paint there.

“Please. I wanna see!”

“Fine.” I huffed and he handed me his phone which got white and blue on it in the process. I snapped a picture, which somehow managed to keep his ass out of it, with him sitting on the floor and handed it back to him.

“IT’S AWESOME! The wings! I love them!” I grinned and he pulled me back down on his lap. “My turn!” He wiped some of the paint from my chest before going to work. Actually taking the time to pull out a brush, which was causing me to get painfully hard. The tickle of the brush was torture.

 

_We could take our heads off_  
stay in bed just make love that's all  
Just stay with me now

 

“Eren…You’re killing me.” I groaned as he painted me, stroke by stroke.

“It’ll be so cool once it’s done!” He captured my lips in a deep kiss, which did nothing but make me harder, but I took a deep breath and stayed patient. “And done!” He snapped a picture and I looked down.

“The…the key? But that’s the shifters…”

“Exactly. You have the key to my heart!” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him so deeply, we both had to beg our brains to release each other so we could breath. My body was craving something different. And I tried to push it away, but Eren was obviously looking at me differently tonight. “Levi…” I looked at him seriously as he took my hand. “Would you…I mean do you want me to…” My face went red and I swallowed hard.

 

_I'm melting (I'm melting)_  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while  
and I'm melting

 

“Just…ugh…can we start off slow?? May be best for both of us.” He nodded and I stood up, pulling him to his feet as well. We walked to the kitchen and washed the paint off of our hands carefully, before returning back to the drop cloth. We laid down together, obviously in something wet that had to have been paint, but we paid no mind to it.

“Levi-“ Eren ran his fingers through my hair and spoke with a soft tone. “Are you alright? You’ve acted like there’s been something on your mind today.” Damn…he really does know me well. I shook my head before nuzzling his hand. I had to make something up fast. I hated lying to Eren, but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise for tomorrow.

“I’m just proud of you babe. And hoping that you’ll like your present tomorrow of course.” He grinned and kissed me.

“Of course I will! Anything from you, I’ll love!” I nodded and laid my head back. “S-So…how do I?” My heart thumped.

 

_In your eyes_  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me  
Lay with me  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while  
  


“Umm….I’ll show you. Just fingers like I did for you the first time, remember?” I took a deep breath, then I put the bottle into his hands and he popped the cap open. “Just light play…afterwards I’ll get you ready and we can go from there.” He smiled and pressed a kissed to my lips.

 

“Just remember all the times I’ve taken care of you. Exactly like that.”

“But Levi-“

“Eren, you’ll do fine.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” I gave his hand a squeeze and parted my legs for him.

“If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t open up to you like this. I love you.”

 

 

“I love you, too Levi.” I admired the different colors smeared across his skin as I watched him pour the liquid on his fingers. How long has it been since I’ve been touched there? Years. My heart was pounding and the blush in Eren’s cheeks told me he felt the same way. I trembled as I felt his hand nudge my legs apart a little further. His other hand worked it’s way over to my cock and gave me a teasing stroke, making me sigh and look over at him with hooded eyes. I felt a slick finger at my entrance and it massaged and rubbed, just like I’d done so many times before. Before I knew it, he gently pushed inside, making me arch up off the drop cloth.

 

_and I'm melting_  
In your eyes  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me lay with me   
(Stay with me, lay with me)

 

  
“E-Eren!” He whimpered and I trembled as he went still. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I was sensitive as hell and when he began to move I nearly lost it. I moved against his finger and that’s when he brushed against it. “NYYYAA!”

“Levi?!”

“D-Do that again!” I grabbed onto his forearm and begged him. He curled his finger and I spasmed underneath his touch. “FUCK!” My face went red and I squeezed his arm.

 

_In your eyes_  
Let's sleep till the sun burns out  
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)  
Let's sleep till the sun burns out  
I'm melting in your eyes

 

I felt a second finger brushing against me and when it pushed inside, all matter of coherent thoughts left the building. I thrust back on his fingers, ignoring the long forgotten burning that came along with them and focused only on the pleasure that was rushing through me. The song switched over and I shivered as the heartfelt lyrics echoed through the room.

 

_No I won't surrender  
At any cost_

 

“Please, please, please!” He was curling and pushing his fingers into me, giving my cock a light stroke every now and again. I grabbed for the bottle and poured some onto my hand “Hands and knees. Fuck. Please don’t pull your fingers out.” He did as he was asked and I began to prep him, stretching out the warmth that I desperately needed.

He crawled over me and faced away, fingers still buried deep inside as I stroked that delicate spot within him. My thoughts were cloudy as he kept hitting my own, but eventually I had to pull myself away. I tried to lie him down on the floor, but he was fighting me for dominance now, trying to show me up at my own game. No, now it was my turn.

 

_You're something so sweet and tender  
From my heart_

 

“Don’t think so Jaeger.”

“I want it like this, Levi!”

“And I want to see your pretty little legs spread apart.” His face blushed a raspberry red, but he smirked and continued to playfully fight against me. I caught his hands and brought them above his head, leaning my lips to his ear. “Tell me if I hurt you or make you uncomfortable. Got it? Just say the word.”

_Yes I've done my evil  
I've done my good_

 

“W-What word?” He swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

“You want a safe word?” He nodded and I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips as I kept his arms suspended above his head. “Hmm, How about-“ I ran my fingers along the leather cord than dangled around his neck. The one that I had painstakingly braided for him. He had refused to take off the key for his cosplay and insisted that he wouldn’t lose the house key, so he kept the shifter key on the cord. “Key?”

 

_Just believe me honey  
I won't let go of you_

 

“Okay.” I took both of his wrists into one hand before lightly running my fingers down his chest and abs.

“Alright Jaeger. Now…You’ll do as I say.” I smiled at him before I reach over into our bag of scraps and pulled out a long strand of fabric. I wrapped the turquoise around his wrists and his eyes went wide.

“L-Levi?!” I chuckled and tied it in a gentle bow.

“Looks like I’ve managed to catch myself an Eren, huh?” he whimpered as I pushed him back towards the floor. “You know what, Eren?”

“Hmmm?” I traced his lips with my finger, all the way down his jaw and neck and stopped at his collarbone.

  
_You are the one  
And there's no regrets at all_

 

“I think that your eyes are the most beautiful color. I’m sure since we’ve already made a mess, you wouldn’t mind if I tried to mix that color right? You always want me to practice my color mixing. Always telling me I need to add color to my artwork.” He swallowed hard again as I leaned back and began pouring paint onto the pallet, mixing up the perfect shade of turquoise. The one that matched the main tone of his eyes before I smeared it onto my fingers. “I think you’ll look stunning in this color babe.” I sucked lightly on both collarbones, being careful to avoid leaving marks, before I smeared the paint on both sides. Then I just started painting my way over him. Kissing and painting as I went. Mixing hints of greens and blues. Swirling and shading the outlines of his muscles. The edges where his joints met.

“L-LEVI!” I got down to his thighs, being careful not to get the paint too close to anything important and a felt a shiver run through him. “Cold, COLD!” I moved closer and I felt the slick paint smear onto me as well, heating up in the process.

_You are the one  
And there's no regrets at all_

 

“There, now it’ll warm up.” I nuzzled his neck, feeling paint smudge onto my cheekbone. He sighed and tried to draw himself closer. The way his muscles were pulling at the knot in the fabric were nothing short of stunning. Eren was really starting to develop. Maybe we could actually start going to the gym a few times a week down the road.

I leaned up to capture his lips, smearing his own cheek with turquoise in the process, but I don’t think he really cared. I kissed him lovingly as I felt the paint slide between us. Body on body. Only slickness and color in between. When I pulled back, his eyes were smiling at me brightly and his hair was tousled from rolling and fighting from dominance earlier. His blue bangs were nearly hanging in his eyes and the very tips were turquoise now. How had he ended up with paint in his hair?! Did I have it in mine? At this point I really didn’t give a fuck.

_We've had our share of misfortune  
We've had our blues_

 

“P-Please Levi. I need you.” He pushed his hips up against me as he whispered it in my ear, voice going so low and deep that it sent shivers down my spine. “I’m gonna go crazy if I don’t have you right now. PLEASE.” He threw his head back against the floor and I grinned. He was desperate. Hell, I was desperate. We had finally given up that apprehension around each other. Finally we had that full freedom to tell each other what we liked and we didn’t have to be scared. Eren trusted me, and I trusted him. That’s what this was all about. Full blown love and pleasure in the most intense form.

“Since you’ve been so patient-“ I ran my fingers down his chest. Down my drying masterpiece of teals and blue. “And you let me make you into my own little work of art and even tie a bow on you-“ He whimpered as he arched up again. “Then you can have me.” I glanced down and seeing that both of my hands were now once again covered in paint I shrugged and picked up the bottle. “Eren, open up your legs. Spread them nice and wide babe.” He pulled his knees back as far as they would go and I proceeded to pop the lid open on the lube and I just poured it over him.

 

_And God is not on our side  
Yes it's true_

 

“HNG!” He jerked away from the cold and I placed a blue hand on his hip.

“Sorry, sorry. It would have taken longer if I would have gotten up to wash my hands.” He nodded and bucked up again, already forgetting the cold.

“ T’s fine. P-Please.” His cheeks were red and he was breathing hard. He was flush against the floor with his arms pulled above his head still, knees still pulled back. I settled between his legs and pushed against him, drawing a moan as I slowly pushed forward. He jerked against me, desperately trying to pull his arms forward. “Please. Levi. Levi. Leviii-“ His breath hitched as I buried myself completely and went still. I braced myself on his shoulders until he was arching against me again, my cue to move again. Another jerk of his shoulders raised his hands up enough to send the paint cup of brushes flying and drenching us both.

 

_We keep forgetting baby  
The beauty of us two_

 

“AGHHH!! COLD!” I rolled us away from the puddle, but in the process, my knee just so happed to jam into the paint tube and it proceeded to squirt all over Eren and all over the floor. Not the drop cloth, but the floor.

“SHIT!”

“FUCK! Just leave it and fuck me!” He slammed his bound hands and soaked hair against the floor and my eyes went wide. I was going to do just that. I jumped on top of him again and before I could wrap my head around it, my hands were grasping onto his hips and I was shoving into him. “HNNNG- OH!” I saw his fingers grabbing at the fabric around his wrists and his eyes slammed shut. I leaned forward and pulled at the bow I’d tied, freeing his wrists which fell to his sides for a moment, landing in the spilt paint and then he used them to pull himself closer to me, burying myself deeper if that was even possible.

 

_There is no one who can take that away  
From me and you_

 

We rocked together, sliding in the mess of paint and spilled water, somehow managing to cling to each other despite the slickness from the sweat, water and paint. Eren’s fingers clawed at my shoulders, head curling up close to my chest as he breathed heavily.

_You are the one  
And there's no regrets at all_

 

“LEVI! UGH!” His fingernails bit into my back and I groaned at the sting. It was a sting that urged me to keep going, to fuel the fire, both mine and his. He was coming undone in my arms and I slid my hands under his ass and shifter positions, just shoving him down on me. He cried out as he was seated flush against me, over and over, his screams echoed through the apartment. “M-MORE!”

 

_You are the one_

 

“FUCK EREN!” I thrust into him, harder and harder each time. One of his hands was clawing at my back still while the other was caught in my hair, yanking unbelievably hard.

“L-evi, L-evi, I’m gonna!”

“Come for me babe!”

“HNNNGGG!” He screamed his release for a mere second before his teeth laid into the crook of my neck. I felt warmth leaking from his face and I knew he was fucking overwhelmed. Just seeing him fall off the edge like that was enough to push me over and after a few more thrusts, I released inside him with a scream of his name.

_And there's no regrets at all_

 

“EREN!” I felt his teeth let loose with a sting.

“Levi…” _hick._ He was shaking against me as I gently pulled out, and I looked down to see a few stray tears running down his face.

“Babe, what’s wrong?!”

“I-Intense.” I pulled him closer into my arms and kissed the top of his head.

“I know. I’m here. It’s okay. Deep breath.” He nodded and nuzzled my neck.

“Levi, I love you.” He wrapped his arms around my waist. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too babe.” I could only imagine how he was feeling after a powerful orgasm like that. “Why don’t we go to bed?”

“But what about-“

“I can clean it tomorrow. Right?” He smiled gently against my neck and gave a small nod and another slight tremble. I picked him up into my arms, checking over the sleeping Kirara (how had she managed to sleep through that?!) and crept up the stairs. He was still nuzzling my neck, little shakes rocking through him.

“Shower?” He looked like he could snuggle up to me and drift off in just a few seconds. I wonder if he’d fall asleep standing up.

“Hmm…” I set him on the edge of the bed and raised my eyebrow. His hands were still paint free from earlier at least. “Just let me clean you up a little. We can shower in the morning. His eyes went wide.

“BUT THE PAINT! WHAT ABOUT THE SHEETS-

“BABE!” I put both of my hands on his shoulders to brace him and look him in the eyes. “It’s fine. Seriously. It’ll wash out. If it doesn’t, it’ll just remind me of you, right?” Tears welled up in his eyes again and he pulled me closer.

“LEVI!!!!” I gave him a kiss and hugged him tight before walking to the bathroom to scrub my hands and grab a wet and a dry towel. I wiped him clean and dried him off before I simply tossed them both in the floor. I was going to have one hell of a mess to clean up tomorrow, but right now the sleepy look on Eren’s face was drawing me closer. I pulled back the covers and hopped into bed with him after we both took our medication. I felt some of the dried paint flake off into the bed, but I paid it no mind. Eren’s hair on the other hand was dripping onto the pillows. I just shrugged it off and kissed his cheek.

Why was I feeling so differently now? Did he have such a calming effect on me? I didn’t feel quite the need to scrub the whole house down to every nook and cranny like I usually did. Sure on particularly stressful days, I would clean for a few hours, but it would never be anything too strenuous. Just the normal chores like straightening up the bedroom, or doing laundry. Just calming things. Not scrubbing the grout, or wiping underneath the cabinets. Then I took one look at the pillowcase and it dawned on me that Eren WAS a big part of my recovery. He did have an overwhelming calming effect on me. If it weren’t for him, I’d be throwing that pillowcase in the wash right now, along with our clothes. Hell, we wouldn’t have ended up in bed in the first place. I may even go as far as saying we may have never made the original mess downstairs.

I ran my fingers through his hair and he brought himself closer to me, snuggling his warm body against mine. He nuzzled his head against my neck and I couldn’t help but smile. He was so much taller than me, but he wanted to me held, and I didn’t have one bit of a problem doing that for him.

“Captain….” I chuckled softly and carded my fingers through his hair.

“Shhhh, rest Eren. You’re tired.”

“I love you.”

“I’ll always love you, Eren.” I turned off the lamp, bathing the room in blue and within a couple of minutes his soft snores echoed throughout the room. “Sweet dreams, babe.” I closed my eyes and let sleep take me.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graduation is here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a beta now! Many thanks to http://shironeko-kohai.tumblr.com/
> 
> The song is Deathbeads-Bring Me the Horizon 
> 
> On that note, don't throw things <3 *hides behind wall of Shingeki plushies*

Levi’s POV

Bang bang bang

“FUCK YOU. Who bangs on the door at this hour?” I huffed as I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Eren groaned and tried his best to hang onto me, but I pulled his arms away. Whoever it was wasn’t going away. They’d been knocking for 2 minutes straight. I slid a pair of boxers on and brushed some of the hair out of my eyes. They better be prepared for the mess they were about to be greeted with, paint covered half-naked body and all. I padded down the stairs and yanked open the door. “THE FUCK DO YOU-“ Armin, Jean, and Erwin stood there on my doorstep staring at me wide eyed. Fuck. Armin squeaked and covered his mouth. Erwin erupted into a fit of laughter and Jean’s eyes just went wide. 

“W-What do we want?!” Erwin tried to breathe out.

“Tch. Just come inside!”

“Levi…” Jean pulled the door shut behind him just as Eren started walking down the stairs, in the same apparel choice as me. Nothing but underwear. 

“Babe, maybe-“

“WHY ARE THEY ALL HERE?!” He whimpered and dove behind my back. I chuckled and shook my head.

“They haven’t really said yet.”

“It’s 12:30 Eren, you wouldn’t answer your phone. Neither would Levi.” Almost at the exact same time, we both looked to our forgotten clothes in the pile on the living room floor. I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out my phone, revealing a nearly dead battery and seven missed calls. 

“Well, that would explain it. Sorry.” I smirked at Eren’s groan.

“We’ve got to leave for practice in 30 minutes, Eren. So you should probably wash up.” Jean snickered. 

“Levi…” I felt him brush my arm and lean his head between my shoulder blades. 

“I’ll be right back, guys. Make yourselves at home, of course…just excuse the mess.” I followed Eren up the stairs and towards the dresser. He buried his head in my chest and sighed. 

“I can’t believe they saw me like that…”

“You’re cute, it’s nothing you should worry about, babe.” I ran my fingers through his knotted hair and he pulled closer.

“But my scars…you’re supposed to be the only one…” I felt a tremble shake through him.

“Eren…look at me.” I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips and he peered into my eyes. “Look at how much turquoise I put on you last night. Practically all of your scars are covered up. I kissed his forehead to cement the fact and he nodded. 

“I guess you’re right.” My hand ran down his back, down the delicious arch and all the way down to his ass to give it a squeeze. He grinned at me and his cheeks instantly turned red.

“I am right.” Another kiss. This one was to his nose and he smiled at me and twitched it. “Now let’s pick out some clothes for you and get in the shower.” 

“Do I have to dress up?” He frowned as he looked over the few dress shirts he had. I raised my eyebrow at him and remembered what my parents had forced me into on my graduation day. Armin and Jean were already wearing their dress shirts. Jean had a polo and Armin had a baby blue button up. I shivered at the thought of my stark white graduation shirt. I had to keep it pristine and perfect the entire day, so my parents hadn’t even allowed me a snack. Now the only white dress shirt I owned belonged to my Captain cosplay. Even then, I wasn’t scared to eat in it or wrinkle it. I could get any stain out or buy a new one. I placed my hand on his lower back as we stared at his shirts.

“Babe, just wear what you are comfortable in. This is your day. Don’t let anyone else tell you differently. Besides, your gown will be over top anyway.” I gave him a hug from the top and his hand hovered over his SNK shirt, trying to decide whether or not to take the plunge. I helped him along and lifted it the rest of the way into his fingers. “You look great in that shirt. Now, pants.” He eyes the dress pants for a split second before shrugging and pulling out a pair of black skinny jeans. I yanked him into a tight hug. “Fuck, you’re gonna be the hottest graduate there.”

“I better be, Ackerman!” His eyes glowed with determination and I smirked. 

“Ooooh, someone’s brave today.” I captured his lips briefly, and he leaned his head down to rest against my forehead. He looked over at the picture resting on top of his dresser, immediately reaching for my hand. 

“L-Levi…” 

“Mhmm…”

“I wish she could be with me today.”

“I know. She would be so proud. So proud of everything you’ve accomplished.” I kissed his forehead and he nodded against me. “Just like I’m proud. I’m proud of you, Eren. Down to every fucking math problem you’ve gotten right. You’ve done so well.” He took a deep breath against me.

“T-Thank you Levi. I-I can’t cry right now.” He pulled away, willing tears back into his eyes. “We’ll be late if I do a-and-“ I kissed him and nodded. 

“Stay strong babe. We can talk as long as you want tonight. After I give you your graduation presents, that is.” He grinned and nodded, taking the pile of clothing, along with some underwear, into the bathroom. 

“I’ll be down in a little bit.” I threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and joined the boys downstairs who had sprawled out. Jean was in the chair, Erwin and Armin were cuddled on the couch. 

“Your shirt’s going to get wrinkled.” I saw Armin just shrug. I looked at the drop cloth and paint smeared floor and sighed. THIS was definitely going to be a job later. Maybe I would have Eren help me with it tomorrow, who knows what kind of adventure cleaning would turn into with Eren? 

“So, Levi…” Erwin spoke up as I plopped down on the end of the couch. “What happened to your meticulous apartment?” He was smiling like an idiot as he stroked Armin’s hair.

“Shut the fuck up, Erwin.” I crossed my arms and glared at him.

“Because the last time I checked, I’ve never even seen a speck on your floor, let alone THAT.” He pointed to the other side of the room, where the paint was literally EVERYWHERE. “Not to mention your hair. It’s always perfect.” 

“Things change when you are in love, Shitwin. Sometimes for the better. Leave it be.” I picked at the dried paint in my hair nervously. 

“I’m just teasing, Levi. I’m glad Eren is breaking you out of your shell. You really did clean too much. It’s nice you can let loose around him.” I nodded, and just as I finished the thought, the man in question padded down the stairs. 

“Sorry guys! I’m ready now!” His hair was still wet, but it was paint free from what I could tell. 

“Get all the paint off?” Jean teased.

“Most of it. It was hard without Levi in the shower with me to scrub my back as usual, but I managed.” HOLY SHIT. That was one hell of a comeback. Jean’s mouth fell open and Eren smirked. I handed Eren his phone and charger as we walked to the door. Armin eyed his outfit curiously.

“Are you wearing that, Eren? Do you need a dress shirt?” 

“No, I’m wearing this. I’m just going to be myself today, Armin. Thanks though.” I smiled at him as I leaned in the doorway. “Levi, I’ll see you at graduation I guess?”

“You’ll hear my cheering louder than anyone else. Trust me.” He beamed at me and nodded as we all stood in the doorway. I wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him in for a kiss before I sent him off. “Be careful! I’ll see you later!”

Now…to throw this drop cloth away….

  
  
  


After my shower I got a message from Eren.

Eren: This practice is boring. I feel like a cow. I’m so far away from Mikasa and Armin. I’m right in front of Jean at least. 

I chuckled at his text. Why a cow, of all things?! I looked through my closet for something to wear and pulled out a dressier pair of my black pants. These clung to my ass, unlike the pants I wore to prom.

To Eren: Why a cow? Lol 

I got an immediate response back

Eren: They keep herding us around. What are you wearing so I know how to look for you? Can you wear something besides black so it’s easier to find you in the crowd?

My eyes went wide at that message. Did I even OWN anything that didn’t have some form of black on it besides my cosplays and my scarves? Maybe my Trost hoodie, but that wasn’t exactly fit for a graduation. I sighed and dug through my closet. The sound of the hangers sliding against the metal bar made me cringe. Then the light caught it, something that actually wasn’t black, and it wasn’t Eren’s either. This must have been a gift from Hanji, because the tags were still on it. 

I pulled the dark purple shirt out of the closet and looked it over. It was wrinkle and dust free, surprisingly, and the buttons were shining as new as the day I’d pushed it to the back.

“Fuck…only for Eren.” I undid the buttons and threw it on the bed before I pulled my phone up.

To Eren: I’ll be wearing a purple button up and black pants. 

I slid into the shirt, which had to have been expensive, because it was a nice material, and did the buttons up one at a time. The sleeves were immediately binding on my arms and they made me cringe, so I undid both sets and rolled them up. I could only be SO dressy for this. He would have to deal with the rolled up sleeves. One last check over, and I pulled on my boots just as I heard a knock on the door. 

“LEVI!!!” Hanji hugged me and I grinned. “OH MY GOD! SWEET FRECKLED JESUS!!!” 

“STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!” I heard a voice yell from the car.

“I’m just kidding, Marco baby!” She tugged me outside as I locked up the apartment. “Look! Levi is wearing COLOR!” Erwin’s eyes went wide and so did everyone else’s. I shook my head and jumped in the back. Marco was smiling at me as I jumped in. 

“So Farlan and Isabel aren’t coming?” I asked as I looked up at Hanji.

“No, she’s gotta make money somehow. Especially with the baby on the way. They said they were going to watch it online! I’m sure she’ll have a great present for Eren though!”

“No doubt,” I said with a smirk. “I need to make a quick stop before we get there.”

We pulled into the convention center and somehow managed to find a close parking spot. Probably because Erwin flashed his Park Ranger ID to the policemen that were guiding traffic. 

We also managed to find a close seat so we could see all of our brats and the stage pretty closely, and hopefully Hanji could snag some good photos. I set my bouquet of flowers in the floor so they wouldn’t get bumped and settled my eyes on the curtains. 

As soon as the graduates walked in and filled the seats, I spotted Eren. Fiddling nervously with his tassel and the edge of his gown. He looked up and was looking around the rows nervously, so I stretched a bit to get his attention. When our eyes locked, he grinned and settled down a bit. He knew where I was, and he was calmer. 

“We would now like to present our Valedictorians for the graduating class. We had the privilege of having two! Isn’t that amazing? They tied in nearly everything they did! So with that, they wrote the speech together! I present Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman.” 

“This year,“ Mikasa started. “has no doubt been full of ups and downs. That’s how our whole school career has been thus far. In fact, that’s how life is in general. We’ve learned that this year at a more than personal level.”

“But,“ Armin put a hand on her shoulder. “with those downs come unbelievable ups. There will be love, laughter, happiness. Life changing moments that you will keep forever in your memories. High school is about making those memories that you will cherish forever.”

“And while many of you have had a few less than perfect memories,” Mikasa added on. “we hope that you’ve also had some great ones as well. Some laughter that’s made your stomach ache. Some friends that have filled your heart with love. I know, just in this past year I have made a lot of new friends I will keep by my side for a very long time, and I hope you will do the same. Keep making memories.”

“We challenge you, graduates. To make special memories. To make your friendships stronger. To love harder. To laugh longer. To live life with every ounce of energy you can! Don’t take each other for granted, and just appreciate your friends and family. They love you! They have helped you achieve this dream, and they will help you achieve your future dreams! So we say to you, congratulations!”

 

I watched one by one as the special people in my life that I’ve grown to consider just as close as family got their diplomas. Mikasa was first. She was decorated with so many chords that it made my heart warm. She worked so fucking hard. She participated in so many clubs, PLUS she had that part time job. She was truly astonishing. I had a card just for her in my pocket that she would have to open later. I bought the three of them, her, Eren, and Armin passes to the local amusement park for the weekend with a hotel room. Sure, it would be a weekend away from me, but they needed it. I couldn’t remember the last time the three of them actually had some time together, just the three of them. 

Armin was next from the list of graduates we knew, and just like Mikasa, he was fully decorated. His chords were different colors, but just as stunning in number. I had a card for him as well. A gift card to Barnes and Noble, because I knew the kid would probably fall over when he opened it. Armin had floated back to Eren’s side just like I knew he would. I had told Eren that friends don’t just leave if they love you like that. Bonds only become stronger, and now look at where they are. 

“Eren Jaeger!” My heart hammered in my chest as I stood up and just as I promised I called out his name.

“WOOOOO! GO EREN! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” He beamed up at me and waved before he took his diploma. My heart was pounding. Fuck. Can’t.

“Levi-“ I swallowed hard. “Here” I reach blindly for what Marco was handing me and I let the tissue fall to my side. Oh…I was crying. Oh well. I was proud. So fucking proud it was overwhelming. Eren. My Eren had overcome so much to get here today. Abuse, injury, practically not having a home to go to, failing math, anxiety, depression. He has worked a part-time job, stuck with tutoring, won a scholarship, and raised his grades up, and he graduated! He made it. He did it all without that asshole of a father there to hurt him, too. We showed that prick. We did it, Eren! I watched him as he returned to his seat and I sat down beside of Hanji again, only slightly watching as Jean graduated. She sat her camera down and turned her attention towards me.

“Levi, your eyeliner is smeared.” I sniffled and blinked a few times. “I’ll fix it. Marco, hand me a tissue?” Marco blew his nose and handed her a new tissue. She wiped at my eyes and I watched the commencement speech. Eren grabbed his tassel from his hat, before he tossed it in the air. I grabbed the flowers, a combination of white lilies and red roses and we went outside to wait for Eren. 

He walked out, random hat in hand, with Jean and Armin. Jean and Armin ran to Marco and Erwin as expected and Eren gave me a smile. I handed him the bouquet of flowers and he beamed at me. 

“These are beautiful, Levi!” I kissed him and pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Congratulations, Eren!” He leaned in for another kiss, this one was tender and I brushed my fingers through his blue bangs.    
  


“PICTURES!!!” I knew this was coming. The camera snapped before we could move an inch and she caught us mid-kiss. 

“At least let him put the funny hat on!” I said with a smirk. He jammed the hat onto his head and popped the tassel into place, before I captured his lips again, this time in a posed picture.

“SO CUTE! Bring the flowers up in the next one!” We took about 100 photos before she FINALLY left us alone. It was nearly sunset and Eren was already stripping out of his graduation gown. He slung it over his arm and threw it in the back of Erwin’s car along with his hat. Marco and Jean jumped in the back seat and Eren jumped on my lap. I threw my arms around him and held him close. 

“What’s my surprise?!” He asked before he smelled the roses. 

“I’m not telling! We’ll be there soon. Calm down!” Jean and Marco were dropped off at Jean’s house and Erwin began driving towards our apartment, the sunset filling the inside of the car. Eren’s phone began ringing, and he looked down. 

“It’s Mikasa.” He slid the phone open. “Hello?” He narrowed his eyes. “Hello? Mikasa, I can’t hear you. There’s static. Hello?” He frowned before he hung up. “That was weird…”

“Maybe a butt dial?”

“Probably.” He wiggled on my lap with a chuckle.

“There’s plenty of room now you know.”

“THIS IS MORE COMFORTABLE!!” I grinned and hugged him tight. Erwin dropped us off in the driveway, and we waved goodbye as they drove off. 

“Okay. Stay right here as I set this up! Don’t move.” I grinned. As I moved inside to light the candles and make sure everything was perfect. Hopefully he would say yes about joining me in Tokyo. Hopefully.

  
Eren’s POV

I was rocking back and forth on the balls of my feet holding my bouquet of flowers as I waited for Levi. It had been such a great day. I had only wished that Mikasa could have stuck around for a while longer, but I understood why. I heard tires behind me and turned to see a car in the driveway. Wait…that was…NO. My mouth dropped open as the driver door flew open first, then the passenger’s.

“DAD, LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Mikasa screamed as she ran after him. 

“Not after the way he’s been acting! He’s a fucking embarrassment!” I backed up against the wall, frozen by fear and holding my flowers close. L-Levi! Where are you?! “I KNOW you are dating that man, faggot!” He slammed me against the wall and I winced. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and I tried to push him off of me, dropping my beautiful flowers to the ground as I did. He stomped on them as I did and tears welled up. “YOU ARE A BOY! BOYS DON’T GET FLOWERS!” 

“HE LOVES ME! I’m trying to be happy and you ruin it! It’s not fair! You’re an asshole!” I screamed as I pushed him back. He fell back quite a few steps, enough for me to back up off of the wall and regain a few breaths. Mikasa stepped in between us and put her arms out. 

“LEAVE HIM ALONE! JUST LET EREN BE HAPPY!”

“NO ONE WITH THE JAEGER NAME IS GOING TO BE A FAGGOT! Don’t stand in my way Mikasa!” I heard the door open and out of the corner of my eye I saw Levi, but just in that split second, he push going to strike Mikasa. 

“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH HER!” I screamed at the top of my lungs and nudged her out of the way and let loose with my full force. I don’t know what happened from there on out, but the last thing I remembered before the darkness took me what a sickening crack, warmth surrounding me and Levi screaming my name.

  
  


Levi’s POV

 

I made sure everything was perfect and even turned on some music for the occasion as I adjusted the map of Tokyo. I set the tickets to the concert just right and I paused as I heard a scream outside. Was that Eren? I ran towards the door and flung it open just in time to see Grisha Jaeger throwing a punch at Mikasa. 

I tried to sling myself towards them, but it was too late. Eren had pushed her out of the way and flung them both back towards the brick facing of our building. I heard the worst noise I’ve ever heard in my life, the all telling sound of screaming and bone crunching and before I knew it, our porch was covered in blood. 

“EREN!!!” I knelt down beside of him. FUCK! “FUCK! EREN!!!” Mikasa was crying. Neither of them were moving. I couldn’t tell whose blood was whose but Eren had a gash across his forehead. “MIKASA CALL 911. NOW!” 

“O-OKAY!” She was sobbing, but managed to get the ambulance. 

“Eren, fuck. EREN! Please.” I caressed his cheek gently. “Don’t do this. Please. Please don’t do this to me. I l-love you.” I felt tears running down my cheeks. 

I heard sirens in the distance and I sobbed. I started shaking, not wanting to leave his side, but I knew the EMTs would pull me away. “E-Eren!” They pulled in the driveway, two ambulances at once and Mikasa somehow managed to pull me back into a hug and away from him. 

“H-He needs help Levi. Let them help him! He’ll be okay!” I nodded and looked at my blood covered hands. Sobs tore through me as I looked at my helpless brunette. Fuck, I was so worthless. Maybe if I was like Erwin? Maybe if I knew first aid…maybe?

“This one is DOA.” I felt all of the oxygen leave my lungs at once. 

“W-WHAT?!” Mikasa screamed.

“Miss, I’m very sorry, but the older man’s neck snapped. Must have hit the wall.” 

“DAD! N-NO…” I held her tight as she broke down. “Wh-WHAT ABOUT EREN!?”

“We are trying to stop the bleeding. He also appears to have hit his head as well. We are trying to stabilize him.” Gut wrenching sobs ripped through both of us and we fell against the side of the house. The female EMT from the other ambulance put her hand on my shoulder. 

“Is there anyone you can call?”

“E-Erwin.” Mikasa nodded furiously as she bawled into my shoulder. I pulled my phone out and handed the EMT my phone. I just couldn’t deal with that conversation right now. I couldn’t deal with this whole situation. 

Not 4 minutes later, Erwin’s vehicle pulled up to the curb, and Hanji and Erwin jumped out and ran over. 

“LEVI!” Erwin called as he gave my shoulder a pat. Mikasa had pretty much soaked my shirt and to be honest I had soaked hers too, but she was wrecked. She had lost her dad and her brother was in critical condition, for fuck’s sake. My tears started fresh, not that they had stopped, but they had slowed a little and new sobs ripped through me as I looked over. They were taking extra care loading Eren onto the stretcher. Hanji took Mikasa from my arms and Erwin pulled me into a hug. Just something about that embrace, about the strength in his arms, the power of his friendship made me feel safe and weak at the same time. Safe to let loose and fucking cry like a baby. 

“E-Eren’s…He’s….” I clawed at Erwin’s shirt as he rubbed my back.

“He’s going to be fine. Just by watching these guys I can clearly see they are spectacularly trained, Levi. It’s going to be alright.” I nodded and released a few more tears into his shirt as he tried to soothe me. 

“We’ve got him on the stretcher. We are about to load up. One person can ride along.” I gave Mikasa a look and before I could open my mouth she held up her hand.    
  


“You go, Levi.” My eyes went wide and I nodded. “I’ll ride with them. Is that okay?”

“Absolutely. Will you need anything, Levi?” Erwin asked as I headed towards the ambulance.

“Just grab my messenger bag if you don’t mind and lock the house.” 

“Sure.” I hopped into the back and expected the worst, but I really wasn’t greeted with that. Eren’s head was crudely bandaged and his arms were a little bruised and scratched but I really couldn’t see any other injuries. They shut the doors and I looked at his hand with a frown.

“You can hold it. Just don’t move his body or head.” 

“Thank you.” I took his hand gently in mine and God his fingers were cold. I stroked each finger and even his wrist.

“Eren…please. Fight.” I swallowed hard as I felt new tears start, but I pushed them back. 

 

We arrived at the ER in no time, and I was pushed to the side so they could take him back. They did let me press a tiny kiss to his hand before he went, but then I was left completely alone in the waiting room. I pulled my knees to my chest and waited. And waited. Fuck. Where were they?! I slammed my fist down and tears leaked out.

“Levi?” I looked up to see a familiar face. That blonde hair and soft smile, I would remember from anywhere.

“Petra?” She was in scrubs now, holding a clipboard and pushing a cart around. 

“Levi, wow you…are you okay?!” She sat down beside of me for a moment and I desperately shook my head.

“E-Eren. He’s back there. He’s hurt and…and I don’t know….I just don’t know.” I sobbed. She gave my knee a pat and sighed.

“I don’t usually do this, but I’ll see if I can get any info for you, okay? Do you have friends coming?” I nodded again and she leaned over the chair next to her to reach me the box of tissues. “What’s Eren’s last name?”

“J-Jaeger.”

“Alright. Hang tight.” She stood up and walked through the double doors into the back. I was alone once again, left with her cart of reading material. 

“Levi! There you are!” Erwin, Mikasa and Hanji all ran into the waiting room and I took a deep breath. This was happening too fast. I was supposed to be giving Eren his promise ring right now, not sitting in the ER waiting to hear if…if….I buried my face against my knees and I heard the doors swing open.

“Levi.” Petra’s soft voice whispered next to me. “They are trying to get him in stable condition so they can take him for MRI’s and Xrays. They believe he may have brain swelling. He’s having an IV put in now and having blood taken. He’s still unconscious. They are bringing some paperwork out for you to fill out.” I nodded and thanked her before I broke down. Brain swelling? How bad could that be?! He could fucking die from that. 

I couldn’t connect faces to arms over the next few minutes. Erwin, Hanji, hell even Marco and Jean arrived within the hour. All I knew was I had to get the paperwork filled out. Armin showed up as soon as his Grandpa dropped him off and Isabel and Farlan did as soon as they got wind of what had happened.

“Big Bro!” I couldn’t look her in the eyes. I just shook my head and buried my face in my hands again. “Aniki!” She pulled my hands back from my face. “Look at me!” She frowned and I finally looked into her eyes. “Your hands are dirty. Let’s go wash them.” I looked down at my filthy hands and cringed. Who knew whose blood was covering them. I nearly screamed as I looked at them, but she pulled me to my feet and into the bathroom in the corner of the waiting room, before she shut the door. 

“S-Sorry.” I trembled as I put my hands under the warm water before soaping the up.

“Say it in Japanese Big Bro!” She rubbed my head and I looked down as I scrubbed my hands.

“Gomen…” 

“Don’t worry about it!” She kissed my cheek. “Oooh. Dirty. Here.” She pulled a paper towel from the holder and ran it under the tap before washing my face off as I scrubbed my arms and my hands. “Much better! Nice and clean.” 

“Arigato Isabel.” She smiled at this and hugged me around my waist, pressing her little baby bump against me. 

“No problem!”

“You aren’t going to answer back in Japanese?!” I asked with a raised eyebrow as I dried my hands and threw away the paper tower.

“I love you, Levi.” She wrapped me in a hug and I buried my face in her shoulder. “And I’m here for you. No matter what.” I nodded and let a few tears escape.

“T-Thank you…”

“I know what he means to you. He’s special to everyone out there, but he’s your soul mate, so I understand.” I gripped her a little tighter and nodded. We finally left the bathroom and ignored the stares coming from the people waiting in line with their piss tests. 

I joined our little group and leaned my head on Isabel’s shoulder. Erwin was leaned against me, but I didn’t mind because he was somehow holding both Armin AND Mikasa. Well Armin was holding Mikasa and he was holding Armin, but that wasn’t the point. It was nearly 1AM before we heard anything. I had been sipping on a cup on hospital coffee with Hanji when the ER doctor walked out.

“Family for Eren Jaeger?” We leaned forward and the doctor walked over. “Okay, so he does have brain swelling.” I tried to remain calm, and Isabel took my hand to anchor me. “It’s in the moderate stage. We are prepping him for surgery now.”

“Fuck…” I shook my head and continued to listen. 

“We’ll be putting in a catheter and a brain pressure monitoring system to keep an eye on his levels and drain the excess fluid. We did not find any signs of brain bleeding, which is a good sign. Just swelling, which is still serious, but we are doing our best. Aside from that he did have a pretty big cut on his forehead, which he did have to stitch up. Any questions?”

“Can I please see him?” I begged as I gave Isabel’s hand a squeeze. “Just for a minute before you take him back…” I was desperate. I needed to see him. I just HAD to. 

“He’s not awake right now…”

“Please…you said yourself that this is serious. Just let me see my boyfriend for a minute.”  He frowned and tears filled my eyes.

“Come on, doc! This guy’s been through hell today. Just give him a minute with his sweetheart!” Isabel begged. 

“Fine, but just a couple of minutes. When I say leave, you leave.”

“Absolutely!” I shot to my feet and rushed after him. 

“He does look rough, I’m going to warn you now.” I nodded and he ushered me back to Eren. He was hooked up to a ventilator now, and there were cords and IV’s sticking out of every direction. The bandage was gone from his head, leaving the stitch on the right side on his forehead. Someone had pinned his bangs back away for the stitching with a bobby pin, but they were nearly purple because they’d been soaked in blood. His forehead was slowly turning blotchy purple also, no doubt from the impact to the wall. I took his hand in mine and swallowed hard.

“Eren, listen to me.” I whispered it in his ear and prayed that he would somehow hear it. “I had something special for tonight. I was going to make a special promise to you, babe. I swear as soon as you are better, I’ll make that promise to you. You are my world, Eren Jaeger. I want you by my side through thick and thin. You complete me.” I choked back tears as I hovered close to his cheek. “Please stay strong. You can do this. Y-You’ve made it through so much, babe.” I wiped at my eyes and gave his hand a squeeze. “I love you, Eren.” I brought my lips down on his so gently that it could have been registered as brush of a feather, and I took a step back.

“We need to take him back now.” I nodded and gave his hand one last squeeze. “Here, Mr.-“

“Ackerman.”

“Mr.Ackerman.” We put his clothes in a hazard bag because they were pretty much soaked but this,“ He held up Eren’s key and I reach out for it as he placed it in my hand. “These things are sometimes better left with the family than with the belongings department. How about you hold onto it for him?” I nodded furiously and looked back one last time before I exited out the double doors. Who knew what the next few hours would bring?

I clipped Eren’s necklace around me and it settle heavy around me, elaborate key hanging low around my neck.

“Jaeger family?” I looked up as a nurse smiled kindly at us. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to the surgery waiting area. You can wait for updates there.” I looked at my phone as we settled back down. 4AM….four in the fucking morning and I was exhausted.

“Levi, why don’t you try to rest for a while? All of the kids are.” Erwin suggested. I shook my head and leaned against the wall. 

“I don’t want to miss any updates or news. I have to be here for Eren…”

“You’re here for him Levi, but he doesn’t want you being exhausted I’m sure.” I swallowed hard and rubbed my tired eyes.

“I’m fine. Really.” He sighed and nodded. 

“Alright.” He adjusted on the couch a little, tucking his oversized jacket protectively over Armin and pulling him closer. It made my heart lurch and I couldn’t help but pull my knees up to my chest as tears began to fall. What I would do to have Eren beside me. Guilt was tugging at me from all directions. Nearly ripping me in half. If I hadn’t left him out there. If I had just walked out there sooner. If I had moved a millisecond faster. Maybe…just maybe… “I’m going to take a walk…” I couldn’t set here. The surgery had just started and we wouldn’t hear anything for a while. “If you hear anything, please call me.” 

“You know I will, Levi.” I wiped my eyes and headed out the door, leaving my messenger bag abandoned in the chair. Hanji had went on a walk not long ago, so maybe I could track her down and talk with her a while…just maybe…

I walked through the desolate hallways that smelled of bleach and iodine and it did nothing short of make my stomach churn. The memories of sitting with Eren in the ER because of that bastard. I shook my head and walked faster, trying to breathe. I had to be strong. Stay strong for him. He fucking needed me right now. I found the main entrance for the hospital and darted out the door and into the night. The buzzing of the street lamps greeted me, along with two figures standing up against the wall, quite a few feet away from the door.

“Levi-“ I recognized Hanji’s voice immediately, but I proceeded to take a few deep breaths before I walked in her direction. “You remember Moblit?” I nodded as I looked the man over, strong shadows cast over both of their features from the dark. I slumped against the moonlight and breathed in a whiff of his cigarette. It smelled strong and familiar. 

“Cloves?” He nodded and offered me one. I hesitated but swallowed as I took one out of the pack. Hell, what’s the worst that could happen? It actually calm me down like it used to when I was a kid? I lit it up and leaned back against the wall, taking a long drag off of it. Hanji’s expression was deep and thoughtful and we all remained silent as we just stared up at the moon. 

“You know,” Moblit started as he stared up at the full moon intently. “It is a full moon tonight. That’s a good thing. I’ve always been told that full moons are a sign of power and restoration. Eren needs that on his side. You all need that right now. I wish you both the best, Levi.” I looked over to Moblit and nodded.

“Thank you.” 

“Sure thing.” I put out my cigarette and headed for that inevitable door. I knew it’d only been 10 or 15 minutes but damn, the break and leg stretch had been nice. 

“Levi!” I heard Hanji behind me and the next thing I knew my hand was in hers. “I’m here. I’ll walk up with you! Moblit is coming too.” I nodded and we cupped our hands together. When was the last time we’d held hands like this? I leaned my hand against her shoulder and we walked down the hallway, Moblit trailing along her other side. We arrived at the waiting room a few minutes later, greeted by snores of everyone except Farlan and Erwin. 

“Any news?” Erwin stretched a little and shook his head.

“Nope, nothing.” I took my chair back and started to dig through my messenger bag. I pulled out the green blanket and set it in my lap, before plugging my phone into the wall. I draped the blanket over me and snuggled up. Eren’s scent drifted over me, and I tried everything I could to hold back my tears, but I just pressed it to my face and let whatever moisture was actually left in my eyes leak onto the blanket. 

“Eren…” 

“Coffee?” I looked up to see a nurse offering us a cup and I took one. It tasted better than the coffee downstairs, and for that I was thankful. I took my phone and turned on some random anime to watch. I wasn’t really paying attention to anything that was going on. It just wasn’t the same without my turquoise eyed beauty. Two hours into the surgery, we finally got an update.

“Jaeger family?” Erwin shook Mikasa awake and I shut my phone off, listening to the man carefully.

“Yes.” 

“We have an update on Eren. We are putting in the catheter. He does have some swelling as we expected. We have made it through the skull.” I cringed at his words, but nodded. Hanji took my hand and he continued. “It shouldn’t be too much longer now. Usually that’s what takes the longest is getting through safely. We just have to secure the catheter and the pressure monitoring system now, and he’ll be on his way to recovery.” I nodded and swallowed hard. “Any questions?”

“H-How’s he holding up?”

“He’s a strong one. We haven’t had any problems in the operating room, but recovery will be rough. He’ll need your support. There’s no telling when he’ll wake up or how much damage was actually done until he is awake. Or, in fact, how much of that damage is permanent. We’ve had patients with this amount of swelling walking and talking again perfectly fine within a couple of months, while others aren’t so lucky.” I nodded and felt my eyes getting watery again. “But I can assure you we are doing everything we can for Eren right now. We’ll keep you updated.” I heard Erwin say thank you, but I just planted my face in my hands. This was just too devastating. 

It wasn’t the fact that I wouldn’t love him the same. That was just impossible. I would ALWAYS love Eren. Not matter the circumstances. He was my soul mate and nothing was going to take that away from us. Not even death. It was just the simple fact that this happened on the day that things were supposed to change. The same day that I was going to promise to be with him forever and ask him to come to Tokyo with me. And now? Now I wasn’t even sure if he’d ever be able to pick up a fucking paintbrush again, let alone speak or walk. I punched the arm of the chain and sobbed.

“Levi!” Hanji grabbed both of my hands and I shook my head.

“It’s not fucking fair!” I screamed it and everyone in the room looked at me, including Mikasa. “It’s not! And I’m so so sorry Mikasa, but that bastard did this to Eren! Eren has worked so fucking hard to achieve his dreams. He’s had bones broken, fought his nightmares, his anxieties, his depression and he fucking graduated yesterday all for this to happen. He may not ever have a normal life because that bastard could never appreciate what a wonderful son he had and it’s total bullshit! And I should have never left him on the porch like that, and-“

“Levi! How do you think I feel?!” Mikasa screamed.  “Eren got hurt protecting me!” Tears were streaming down her cheeks and I frantically shook my head. “My dad should have been put behind bars a long time ago, but everyone in this town was too scared to speak up. Eren was the only one besides you that was brave enough to. He was the only one…” She wiped her eyes and I stood up from my chair and walked over to her and took her into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry. I know this has been so rough on you.” She sobbed into my shoulder and hugged me tight. 

“We both love him Levi. We do…” I nodded and rubbed her back.

“He’s going to be fine. He’s strong. He’s so strong.” I watched my own tears fall onto her hoodie and swallowed hard.

“He’s so hardheaded!” She said with a strangled laugh. “So stubborn. You should know that by now!” 

“Oh yes. Believe me.” I pulled away and we both had tiny smiles on our lips. We wiped our eyes and nodded. “He’s going to be alright.” I settled back into my chair and became overly interested in watching Hanji and Moblit play a tic tac toe tournament. After a while, Erwin’s phone started ringing and he shut it off. It woke up Isabel and Armin, who groaned as they opened their sleepy eyes. 

“Erwin…” 

“Shhh…” He ruffled the blondes hair, but scooted out from underneath the boy. “Rest. I need to make a phone call.” 

“Mhmm…” Armin stretched out in the spot Erwin was just lying and fell back asleep. He walked out in the hallway and I heard Isabel yawn. 

“DAMN IT! YOU TICKED MY TOE!” Hanji said as she flipped the paper over. “REMATCH!!!” I shook my head and stared at the wall. I heard Erwin talking on the phone in the hallway.

“Yes, Mhmm, Erwin Smith. Dept. 407. I had a 7AM shift this morning but I can’t make it. Yeah. I have a friend in the hospital and it’s pretty serious. I’d appreciate that. Mhmm. Thanks.” I shut my eyes and sighed. This was just one big mess. 

“Farlan…”

“Yes Izzy?”

“I don’t feel good…”

“OH NO!” He grabbed her hand and tugged her down the hallway. Erwin walked back in and sat on the arm of the chair next to me.

“You didn’t have to do that…”

“Sure I did. I can’t count the times you’ve been there for me when I’ve needed you, Levi.”

“I really appreciate it.” He nodded and gave my head a pat. 

“Eren Jaeger?” I looked up and everyone, except a snoring Armin gave the man full attention. “I was the main surgeon for Eren’s procedure. He’s in the ICU recovery now. It’ll still be a while before you can see him, but the procedure went well. He has a tube on the inside of his skull, as I’m sure you’ve been told, and a brain pressure monitoring system now to make sure his pressures stay safe. He’ll be hooked up to quite a few drainage systems and tubes when you do see him, so don’t be alarmed. Just remember, it’s those tubes that are relieving the pressure in his brain.” I nodded and Erwin patted my back. “A nurse will come and get you soon to guide you to his ICU unit waiting room. Like I said, they will probably try to get him cleaned up and settled in before you come in.” 

“Thank you.” I said before I started packing up my things. I needed to see Eren now. I needed to see him take a breath. Needed to feel his skin. Feel his fingers…just. 

“Levi, take a breath. Just calm down.” I nodded and swallowed hard. 

“He’s made it so far, right? That’s a good thing. It’s a fucking blessing…” 

“It’s great!!” Erwin rubbed my back and I stuffed the blanket back into my bag. 

“Are you the ones I need to take to ICU waiting?” I yanked my charger out of the wall and stood faster than I could say yes. “I guess so! Follow me!” Erwin shook Armin awake and the whole group walked down to ICU.

“Ugh….I feel so bad.” Isabel fell into the chair and frowned. 

“Listen, why don’t I take you home to rest? The shop has to open in-“ He looked at his watch. “45 minutes anyway. I’ll see if Jean can work a double for us today.” 

“NOOO, don’t…” she groaned and leaned back. “Just see if he’ll come in for the morning. I’ll be fine after I rest a little.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes! I’ll be fine!” He gave her a small smile before nodding. 

“I guess that’s our cue, guys. Keep us posted. If you need anything, please call. Text. Anything.” I nodded and they both gave me hugs. Isabel even kissed my cheek, smearing her pink lip gloss everywhere. 

“Tch. Bring some decent coffee with you when you come. Not hospital mud.” I suggested. Farlan chuckled.

“Will do!”

 

I sat there and pulled out my iPod, shuffling through random songs that really didn’t have meaning or feel my heart with any fulfillment. They were just there to kill seconds and minutes until I could see my Eren. And finally. Fucking finally, just as the halls and the rest of the waiting room started filling up with people, the nurse walked through the door.

“Eren Jaeger can be seen now, but only 3 at a time please. The rooms are pretty small. You can just switch out as you go.” I nodded and completely abandoned my bag. 

“LEVI!” Hanji ran after me, and I looked over my shoulder to see an exhausted Mikasa trailing as well.

“It’s just like a regular wing of a hospital. There are patients trying to rest, so keep it down if you can.” I nodded and we walked around the hall into a door. The room was all glass, with a curtain on the inside for privacy and a few windows and a toilet. I guess he really wouldn’t be getting up to take a shower anyway…

My eyes finally caught Eren and I froze. FUCK. My knees almost buckled and Hanji took my arm. 

“B-Babe?” I felt tears sting my eyes and Hanji’s fingers on my arm tried their best to soothe me. Mikasa was already at his side, looking over him sadly. 

“Remember what the doctor said Levi. All of the tubes are to keep the swelling down.” I nodded and began taking steps forward. His head was wrapped in bandages and there was a huge tube sticking out, leading to an IV bag behind him. He was on a breathing machine, and his chest was rising steadily. 

“E-Eren…” I couldn’t keep my composure. I was breaking. I reach for his hand and laced our fingers together. They were warm now at least and for that I was thankful. I felt a chair hit my legs and I sat down. “Eren….God...” I’ve never seen so many IV’s running into one person before. It was terrifying. I pulled his hand to the edge of the bed and ran his fingers against my cheek. The same fingers that hand touched me so tenderly just hours before. “I love you so much…” No answer. Not like I was expecting one, but I could hope right?

“He’s on a medication that’s treating the brain swelling as well.” The nurse said as she looked over the monitors. “I’m not sure if the doctors filled you in on that.” I limply shook my head against his hand and cried, letting my tears spill onto the sheets. “From what I can tell by the readouts, he’s resting well.” I looked up at her with a questioning look.”

“W-What?”

“He’s not having a rough rest as we call it. Sometimes patients strain through it, but he’s just lingering on the edge. It’s easier to wake that way. Like waking up from a nice little dream.” I smiled and kissed his hand.

“So…no nightmares?”

“No, no nightmares. If he were having a nightmare, we’d see it on the readout.” I nodded and leaned against his hand. 

“Here, I’ll let that down.” I leaned back and she let the railing on the side of the bed down, giving me full access to the side of his body. “I’m sure it goes without saying, but don’t move him obviously. Light touches are fine. Hand movement is fine. Don’t move his head.” I nodded and moved closed to him. My head was resting against his forearm and my fingers stroked against his lightly. 

“Eren…you have to pull through this.” Mikasa said sternly. “What Dad did to you was unforgivable. All of it. Well…he’s not going to bother either of us anymore…” She sniffled as she rubbed his other hand. “I love you Eren…” Hanji hugged her from behind. Mikasa needed the support now more than I did. Sure, I was devastated, but Mikasa…her life had been fucking ripped apart. At least my little piece of the world was living and breathing in front of me. I had his hand in mine and I was going to fucking fight every step of the way. 

“Come on Mikasa, let’s take a break for a while. Okay?” She nodded and gave me a small hug as they left the room, leaving me alone with my brunette. I felt disgusting, but going home to shower and change was on the bottom of my list of things I wanted to do. 

“This room? Thanks.” Erwin and Armin entered the room and I heard Armin whimper as he saw Eren. I looked up from my sleeping beauty’s hand to offer them both a knowing smile as they walked to his side. 

“He looks so….so…” Armin couldn’t even find the right words to say as he began to cry over Eren. “He’s so…Erwin….Can’t you do something?!” Erwin frowned and pulled him up close. 

“You know I would if I could. He’s just got to rest and recover now.” I was kissing his wrist now, trying to remember his natural scent and not the scent that was soaked with sanitizer and iodine. Luckily this was the wrist with his wristband on it and not the wrist with all of the IV’s. His skin felt so smooth and familiar. I stroked his fingers so gently and just prayed that he’d wake up by some miracle. That’s when I spotted it. The turquoise paint underneath his fingernails. I swallowed back my tears and shook my head. 

“Eren…haven’t I taught you to scrub your nails?” I smiled lightly as I looked at each finger. I felt drowsy as I looked over the tan skin on his hand and arm. A machine behind us beeped and a nurse came in, followed by a doctor. 

“Still in safe range.” He said as he noted on the chart. “Yes, that’s good. Here is the unsafe range. If it goes above that notify us.” I leaned back down and although it did smell of sickness and bleach, Eren’s scent was right there. His warmth was right against my face. My eyes shut and I felt my breaths distance off….

 

“Levi…Levi…” I opened my eyes, feeling the warmth of skin against my face. That’s right…Eren…EREN. I bolted up to see my turquoise beauty still resting just as I had left him. My eyes were wide as I looked around the room. Hanji was standing in front of me with Moblit. 

“What?! What happened?!”

“You dozed off for a while, half an hour. The nurses need to run a few tests.” I clung to his hand and cursed. I wanted to stay by his side. I just had to. I couldn’t leave…Not when I just made my way back to him. 

“B-But Hanji, I have to stay! I can’t just leave him!” 

“Levi, sweetie, Eren has to have these tests run. It’s important. If you want him to keep getting better, he has to be monitored closely.” I took another look at him and nodded. A strand of blue was sticking out from underneath of the bandages and made me tear up.

“O-Okay…Just for a little while, right?” I gave his hand a squeeze and she nodded. 

“Yes, and it probably wouldn’t hurt for you to eat and shower either. You look a little rough.” I looked down at my shirt and frowned. It was stained beyond recognition with blood splatter. “We want a nice sterile environment for Eren, don’t we?” I nodded again. She was perfectly right. 

“C…Can I shower at Erwin’s though?”

“I’m sure he won’t mind. I stood up and leaned over Eren carefully. 

“Babe, I’ll be back in a little while okay? Sweet dreams, Eren.” I kissed his cheek gently and tucked the covers back over his hand. “I love you.” Hanji led me out of the room without letting me look back and the nurses walked into the room right after us. 

“He’s going to be fine, Levi. Trust me!” I nodded and followed Hanji. Erwin, Armin and Mikasa were waiting for us outside. “So, what do you want to eat, kids?” Hanji rubbed her hands together. Mikasa looked down at her clothes and frowned.

“How about a shower first?” She suggested. “I’m hungry, but…I’d love to wash last night away. I’m sure Levi would too.” I nodded and thanked Armin as he handed me my messenger bag. 

Erwin drove Mikasa by her house and she ran in only to fill a backpack up with clothes before running out with tears rolling down her cheeks. She jumped in the back of the car and into my arms. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know you hate him…” I shook my head and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Shhhh….” I pulled the green blanket out of my messenger bag and wrapped it around her. “This blanket has been through a lot of trips with me and Eren. It’s been through a lot of states and helped to comfort both of us, so maybe it’ll help you a little. It’s going to be alright. Everyone says that time will take away some of the hurt, and to some degree that’s true, but just remember that I’m always here if you need to talk. Yes, the way I feel about that man is true, BUT the way I feel about you is different. I love you like family Mikasa. You are a true friend and you are Eren’s sister.” I hugged her tight as she cried against me and she squeezed my shoulder. 

“Thank you, Levi…”

Next stop was my house. Armin climbed into the back with Mikasa to comfort her while I went inside. Luckily, the other car had been towed. Unluckily, the mess HADN’T fucking been cleaned up outside. I froze on the doorstep as I looked at the stained porch. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Hanji was by my side in seconds, unlocking the door and dragging me inside. 

“Come on. In and out. We’ll take care of that later.” I nodded and followed her inside. I was swept up in emotions. The candles had been burned down to their bases, and truthfully, it was a miracle that the house hadn’t caught on fire. 

“MEOOOOW!” Kirara jumped in front of us as we headed up the stairs and I stopped. 

“I’ll feed her. Go grab a change of clothes, Levi.”

“Okay.” I grabbed jeans, underwear, socks, a t-shirt, and my Trost hoodie that Eren’s scent just clung to so heavily it made me break down on the spot. “FUCK.” I wanted to just jump in the bed and bathe in his scent. Just submerge myself in it for a few hours and then maybe I’d feel refreshed. Maybe I could deal with the world again, but that wasn’t how it was going to work today. I ran downstairs and Hanji greeted me by the door.

“Let’s hit the road.” I frowned as I gave one last glance to the apartment. To the paint stained floor boards and the dried fabric squares in the corner. 

“Okay…” 

 

My shower at Erwin’s  was quick, and I didn’t bother bringing any eyeliner. I threw on my clothes and my hoodie, letting his lingering scent engulf me. I breathed it in and sat on the couch until everyone was ready to go get breakfast…well, more like lunch at this point. 

We chose IHOP, and I really didn’t order anything substantial. Just coffee, a bagel and an egg. 

“Levi, you need to eat more.” 

“I’m not that hungry.” I stirred my coffee and stared at the bagel with a frown. Hanji was trying to set an example along with Moblit and Erwin by eating normally, but Armin, Mikasa and I were too worried to eat I guess. I had that ever sinking feeling in my stomach.

It was nearly 2pm by the time we arrived at the hospital again, and close to 2:30, before they let us back to see him again. I returned to his side and took his hand back into mine.

“I’m back, Eren. I told you I’d be back, babe…” Mikasa and Erwin pulled chairs up to his side and we talked about anything, ranging from school to future plans to Kirara. We kept switching out every 30 minutes or so except for me, who stayed firmly planted at Eren’s side. Mikasa also stayed in for a few rounds on end. When 6pm rolled around, the nurses insisted on more tests and suggested that we all grab dinner in the cafeteria downstairs while it was fresh so we did. We headed back up around 7pm and after we did one round of switch outs, the nurses started clearing out the rooms for the night. My heart sank. I held onto his hand and even tried to me strong as she asked me, I couldn’t help it. Tears started running down my cheeks as she asked us to come back in the morning and I felt my hands start to shake. She frowned and shut the glass door behind her, leaving Hanji, Mikasa and me inside with her.

“Sweetheart, don’t be upset…” I wiped my eyes and brought his hand up to my lips to kiss it. 

“I-I’m sorry…I’m just scared a-and….I miss him…and….I haven’t…we really aren’t apart from each other anymore….” I tried to stop my shaking hands, but they wouldn’t. She put a hand on my shoulder and more tears came. Hanji ran to my side. 

“I’m sorry, ma’am. He’s really tired. The only sleep he’s had in the last two days was when he dozed off in here earlier. But at any rate 30 minutes isn’t enough and-”

“I was working that shift this morning. You fell asleep on his arm…” I felt my face heat up and nodded.

“He…He was so familiar. I was so happy he was alive and….It’s so hard to sleep without him.” Truth spilled from my lips and she frowned. “I’m terrified I’m going to wake up to come visit him a-and he won’t be waiting for me!” I started sobbing again and Hanji hugged me.

“Shhhhhh….”

“Sweetheart…I think if it will help, just for tonight you can stay with him, okay? We don’t usually let people stay, but sometimes within the first 24-48 hours we make an exception.” I sobbed harder and pulled her into a hug.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Mind you we won’t have a sleeper chair for you. Just a blanket. Maybe a pillow.”

“I’d sleep on the floor if I had to.” I wiped my eyes frantically. “If it meant I didn’t have to leave him.” She gave me a soft smile and nodded. “We’ll bring the pillow and blanket up for you.” They waited until she returned with the pillow and blanket before they left me. She turned off the lights in the room and I snuggled up in the chair. With the throw blanket, the hospital blanket and the crummy pillow. I pulled the ipod back out of my bag and slipped one side into my ear.

 

Eyes like a car crash   
I know I shouldn't look but I can't turn away.   
Body like a whiplash,   
Salt my wounds but I can't heal the way   
I feel about you.

 

I looked over Eren’s face in the dark as I took his hand into mine and I was thankful. So fucking thankful. Things could have turned out much worse than they did. Roles could have been switched. He could be the one… Fuck… I wiped at my eyes as I watched his chest rise and fall. He could be dead right now. My world. My heart. My soul could be gone from this world right now if fate had seen it fit, but luckily we had more time together as of now. 

 

I watch you like a hawk   
I watch you like I'm gonna tear you limb from limb   
Will the hunger ever stop?   
Can we simply starve this sin?

 

The tubes and lines running into him and out of him just looked grotesque and made my stomach churn, but Hanji’s words kept echoing through my head. They are relieving pressure. They are helping him live. Helping him get stronger. I just had to be patient and support him. He was still my Eren. My beautiful Eren. The same stunning turquoise eyes, even though they were just resting for now. That same incredible smile. That same laugh that filled my heart with love for him each time. Eren was still here in front of me. 

 

That little kiss you stole   
It held my heart and soul   
And like a deer in the headlights I meet my fate   
Don't try to fight the storm   
You'll tumble overboard   
Tides will bring me back to you

 

What was it about him? About his laugh, about his smile? It all seemed so familiar. Even when we just met it seemed like…like we became friends so easily, even though I usually just pushed people away. And then we fell right into our relationship with ease as well. Like it was always meant to happen. Like fate just pulled the strings at the exact moment we were supposed to bump into each other. 

 

And on my deathbed, all I'll see is you   
The life may leave my lungs   
But my heart will stay with you

 

I took a few deep breaths and wiped my tears away. I had to stay strong. But…

“Eren…I’m trying so hard, but it’s so hard without you by my side. Every day since we met I’ve lived with you. And now…now I’m so fucking scared. Please just…come back to me.” I wept quietly as I held his hand close, watching the shadows creep over us as the moon crept into the room through the window. 

 

That little kiss you stole   
It held my heart and soul   
And like a ghost in the silence I disappear   
Don't try to fight the storm   
You'll tumble overboard   
Tides will bring me back to you

 

Eventually, what little tears I had left stopped and I resumed the position I had earlier in the morning, with my face against his arm, even somewhat tucked against his side. I was as close as I could possibly be, while still being in the chair. I just wanted him in my arms, but he needed to recover. I knew just the slightest move could be bad news. 

 

The waves will pull us under   
Tides will bring me back to you   
The waves will pull us under   
Tides will bring me back to you   
The waves will pull us under   
Tides will bring me back to you   
Tides will bring me back to you

 

“Eren, listen to me. Keep having sweet dreams. You better not have any nightmares, do you understand?” I kissed his knuckles and smiled. “You won’t get one of your presents if you have any nightmares, so,” I teased him and pulled the covers up closer around me and even closer around him and around his arm. 

 

That little kiss you stole   
It held my heart and soul   
And like a ghost in the silence I disappear   
Don't try to fight the storm   
You'll tumble overboard   
Tides will bring me back to you

 

I shut my eyes and snuggled closer to his arm. To the warmth that wasn’t quite the right temperature, but it was still my Eren. He needed my support and my love and I was going to give him every ounce that I could. “I love you so much, Eren. Goodnight. I will see you in the morning, babe.” I stroked his fingers with mine and swallowed hard as I felt sleep begin to tug me down. I was a little uneasy, but something was telling me that everything was going to be okay. I needed to rest so I could face the next day refreshed and renewed. So I could support Eren and be there for him. The last thing I thought of before my dreams tugged me away were those brilliant turquoise eyes….

 

That little kiss you stole   
It held my heart and soul   
And like a deer in the headlights I meet my fate   
Don't try to fight the storm   
You'll tumble overboard   
Tides will bring me back to you

 


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story carries on...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my awesome beta <3 http://shironeko-kohai.tumblr.com/
> 
> Songs~  
> Call Your Name-mpi and CASG  
> Pabst Blue Ribbon On Ice-The Amity Affliction  
> Don't Go-Bring Me the Horizon  
> Into the Moonlight-Kotani Kinya
> 
> I read all of your comments and they seriously keep me going with this fic!! Thank you guys so much!!! <3
> 
> Sorry if the lyrics aren't in italics ^.^' Just didn't want to work for some reason? EH o.o

_Terror. Falling. Falling down. I knew I’d fall into darkness. I just knew it. The last thing I remember was shoving Mikasa out of the way and desperately reaching for Levi. I heard Levi screaming my name…and then silence….then falling….floating…into darkness. I was sinking…Levi…_

_“I’ll accept your application to the Recon Corps…” Levi?!_

_His voice floated through the darkness around me. My arms stretched out for him. Searching. Desperately searching. I had to get to him. Had to find him! He could pull me out!_

_“I’m the only one suited for the job of course. The higher ups will understand that…” Higher ups?! What…. I clawed through the darkness and bits of it began lifting to navy. Levi? LEVI?!_

_“Do you hate me, Eren?” What….no! NO! “Eren. Eren.”_

_My eyes popped open and there he was. Right in front of me. This couldn’t be real. I knew it wasn’t but…there he was._

_“Captain?!”_

_“I was asking you a question, brat. Pay attention.” He had me pressed up against a stone wall at the bottom of a stairway. His cravat was tied perfectly around his neck, but he looked so tired. So worn out._

_“I’m sorry, Levi.” He raised his eyebrow and leaned up on his tiptoes._

_“Y-you…” He pulled me down by the collar of my shirt and pressed our lips together. It was gentle and restrained. So unlike Levi.  “So you don’t hate me then?”_

_“Why would I hate you? I love you.” His eyes went wide and he shook his head._

_“You really do amaze me, brat. These things you say…everything you do…” He leaned back down, flat on his feet, and grimaced._

_“Are you okay?”_

_“You don’t remember? I hurt my leg in the forest. After the chase.” A rush of memories pierced through my head, flooding my brain. Everything from falling faces of comrades I didn’t even know to the faces of…HANJI?! ERWIN…I fell to my knees and looked up at Levi._

_“EREN?!”_

_“I’m sorry…sorry…” I leaned my head against his thigh as I felt my head spin. Levi got hurt protecting me. “So sorry…” Our comrades had died protecting me._

_“Shhhh.” His fingers swept through my hair and I sighed. “It’s over now. We made it back. You’re safe._

_“But you’re hurt!” I felt tears stinging my eyes and I couldn’t look up at my raven haired Captain. I let him down. I let everyone down._

_“Look at me, Eren!” He placed his fingers under my chin and yanked my jaw up in his direction. “Yes, I’m hurt! I’ll heal. I’m a fucking strong soldier. I didn’t make it this far into the war without being strong. You know what I wouldn’t spring back from?!” I whimpered as tears leaked down my face. His grey eyes pierced into mine and I swallowed hard. “I wouldn’t recover from losing you!” I nodded and he pulled me to my feet gently as to not put too much weight on his knee._

_“I’m so sorry.” I pulled him into my arms and he shook his head._

_“Stop apologizing. None of this is your fault. Did you ask to become Humanity’s Last Hope? Did I ask to become Humanity’s Strongest? No. But here we are, and at least we have each other to lean on now…” I nodded and leaned my head down on his shoulder. “Fate brought us together, Eren, and I’m not letting you go. And even if I do lose you in this shitty world, I’ll find you again in the next. We’ll always be together.” I let out a cry against his shoulder and he rubbed my back. “Shhhh…. Come on. Let’s go upstairs.” We had probably drawn attention from a few lingering scouts in the hallway, so Levi grasped me firmly around the waist and led me up the stairs to the officers quarters._

_“T-This is?”_

_“My room. I don’t see any problem with it as long as I keep an eye on you, right? Don’t go turning into a 15 meter in the middle of the night. I’m not cleaning up fucking plaster and glass. That’ll be your job.” I froze by the doorway, unsure of where I was. He pulled me towards the bed and I followed. “Come on Eren. It’s just me right?” I nodded silently and he kissed my cheek. “I think after the hell we both went through over the last few days we both deserve some time to rest and relax. Screw cleaning for a while.” My eyes went wide and he gave me a smirk._

_“DID YOU JUST SAY?!”_

_“Yes. I did, now…“ He unbuttoned my cloak and tossed it on top of the chair. I swallowed hard and gave him an unsure look. My hands tensed up and I shut my eyes. This was moving too fast…way too fast. “Eren?”_

_“I just….” I took a step back, but Levi caught my wrist._

_“Relax a little. Talk with me. Get comfortable.” I took a deep breath and shivered as he began to undo the straps across my chest._

_“I…I’m…Can we take this…slow…” I felt my face burn as I asked it. Asking Humanity’s Strongest a stupid question like that. Levi, the sex god. Levi, the one that was practically stripping me down right now. “I’m sorry…I just…really like you and…”_

_“Mhmm.” I heard a few buckles break loose and my gear dropped to the floor. He picked it up and set it aside with my cloak. He quickly took off his own gear and boots, and set it aside with mine. “We can go as slow as you want, Eren.” He took my hand and pulled me to the edge of the bed, where he proceeded to crawl up into it, tugging me with him. “I’m just happy having you by my side.” My heart fluttered and a smile crept over my lips. Levi picked his book up off of the nightstand and held out his arm for me, but grimaced as he tried to stretch out._

_“Wait…it’s hurting…” I frowned as I looked at his leg and he shrugged._

_“It’s just going to take time to heal.” I grabbed a pillow from the headboard and had him lift his leg before placing the pillow under it. He sighed as some of the strain was reduced and I tucked another pillow under his head. “You don’t have any pillows left on your side.”_

_“Can I use you?” He smiled and held his arm back out for me. I pulled myself up against him, and laid my head down on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat. It was really soothing. The constant thrum thrum thrum was started to lull my mind and I felt my eyelids closing._

_“Eren?”_

_“Hmmm…”_

_“You really are special to me.”_

_“You are to me too, Heichou…” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and my world faded for a while into a gentle haze. Soft memories of Levi mixing together._

  
  


“Mr. Ackerman.” I opened my eyes to see a nurse standing over me. I rubbed my forehead. It was hot and a little sticky from where it’d been pressed against Eren’s arm all night. My neck was definitely sore from that position but I had no regrets. I looked over to Eren who was still breathing on the ventilator. The same as how I’d left him last night. I sighed in relief. Eren had made it through the night.

“S-Sorry…I dozed off.”

“It’s alright. We need to take Eren for an MRI and a few more tests this morning. Could you come back in an hour or so?” I rubbed my eyes and nodded. I looked over to my sleeping brunette and stood from the chair slowly. I folded up the hospital blanket and stuffed the green one into my bag along with my iPod. The two nurses were waiting patiently for me to leave, but I was taking my time, spending the last possible few seconds I could with him. I sat my bag in the chair and walked to his side. I took his hand in mine and leaned over the edge of the bed carefully.

“Eren.” I spoke to him softly and gently touched his hair. “I’ll be back in a little while. You’d probably be getting on to me for not eating by now, so I’m going to try and do that.” I looked over to his closed eyes and held back my tears. What I wouldn’t do to see them open. Fuck… I kissed his cheek gently. “I love you, babe.” I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder.

“Take care of him please…” I asked the nurse as I looked back at him.

“We will. He’s in good hands.” I nodded and walked out of the room, leaving the only piece of my heart that mattered back in the ICU.

  


“WELCOME TO ANTEIKU!!! LEVI!” Isabel hopped down from her stool and rushed over to me. “You look so tired, Aniki!” She gave me a hug and pulled me over to the café side. “Farlan! Jean! Levi is here!” I sat down at the bar and laid my head on the counter. “Do you want coffee?!” She asked as she sat next to me.

“Sure. Anything is fine.”

“How about a vanilla latte?” Jean offered.

“Sure.” My phone began buzzing in my pocket and I picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Levi….” It was Mikasa. She was crying. Fuck.

“What’s wrong?!”

“They…they want me to chose colors?! I don’t know…Something about a liner?! How am I supposed to know what color liner? What flowers?! I don’t know what colors he liked!!” FUCK.

“SHIT. Are you at the funeral home?!”

“Y-Yes! They told me next of kin h-had to and Eren i-is…he’s…he can’t help…Armin is here…but….he’s never….”

“Okay. Listen to me. Go outside and sit. Tell them to fuck off. Give me 5 minutes to drink a cup of coffee and rest. I’ll head your way after I do, okay?”

“Thank you, Levi. Thank you so much.” I hung up and slammed my head on the counter.

“FUCK. FUCK MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!” Isabel gave my shoulder a pat. “I fucking need Eren for this shit. Or maybe I don’t. Who the hell knows? He’d be a wreck right now…” I screamed into my arm and looked up as Jean sat the coffee in front of me. “But I still don’t want him at the fucking hospital! I don’t want him hurt or sick or-“ Jean put a hand on my arm and I shook my head. “This sucks…”

“Take Jean with you.” I looked up at Isabel as I reached for my coffee.

“What?” Jean nodded and I put my face in my hands.

“Levi, Mikasa is a wreck right now. Armin isn’t far from it. You…no offense, but you look like you’ve lost your damn mind from stress…” I felt like laughing. No shit. The one person I gave my whole heart to was laying in the ICU right now with an unknown amount of brain damage from an asshole of a father that didn’t give two shits about him, and now I was going to go help plan the bastard’s funeral?!

I could see where she was coming from though. I looked up at Jean. He gave me a kind smile and a nod.

“You don’t mind?”

“No way. You guys are my family!”

“Okay, Can you put that in a to go cup?” He dumped it in a cup and popped a lid on top, then clocked out.

“Maybe Marco could help? He’s good in these situations.” Jean suggested as we walked across the street to his mom’s house. I’d taken a cab to Anteiku, and luckily, his mother didn’t mind giving up the keys to her car today.

“The more the merrier, I guess.” I slouched down into the passenger seat and brought up Hanji’s number on my phone.

 

“What’s up, short stuff?!” Her voice echoed throughout the car and Jean smiled.

“Hey…”

“What’s the news today?”

“He was about the same this morning, so…”

“Well, he made it through the night! That’s great news, Levi!” Marco climbed into the back seat and we started towards the funeral home. He did live pretty close.

“Yeah, it’s something at least. I got kicked out like 20 minutes ago so they could run some tests. I went to Anteiku to get coffee. Mikasa called and we are headed to the funeral home now to help her make arrangements. She’s a mess…”

“You can’t blame her. Who’s we?”

“Me, Marco, and Jean.”

“OH! So you have someone with you! Good! Did you get any rest?” I looked out the window and sighed.

“I got a little. Having Eren there…it helped some.”

“Good. You need to remember to take care of yourself during all of this, Levi. If you don’t, he’s going to kick your ass when he wakes up.”

“No he won’t!”

“Either than or put you on a sex ban!” A look of horror swept across Jean’s face and he kept driving.

“Hanji…”

“Fine, fine! Just take care of yourself. I’m going to pop in around 10 or so and check in, so take your time with Mikasa. I’ll call you with the test updates.”

“Thank you.” The call ended just as we were pulling into the funeral home. Mikasa and Armin were sitting outside on a bench together just like I’d asked them to.

“L-Levi!” She dove face first into my chest and started sobbing, completely overwhelmed by the day. I rubbed her back and tried my best to soothe her, but I knew her aching heart hurt worse than words could explain.

“Hey guys.” Armin waved to Marco and Jean and they nodded in unison. “Thanks for coming. We just don’t know what we’re doing…”

“We don’t mind at all.”

“Come on. We can do this, Mikasa! Be strong.” She nodded and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and we went inside. The guy that owned the funeral home was a piece of shit. He only worried about money. That much, I could tell.

“So these are the caskets. This one is wood. These are all steel though. If you loop around that side they get thicker and better quality.” Guilt. That’s all this was about. Fucking guilt. “And here are your choices of linings. You can choose the patterns and colors. Even an inscription.” Mikasa sniffled and started pulling at her shirt nervously. I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Okay.” I said sternly. “We’d like some time to look. PRIVATELY.” He nodded.

“Of course. Sir.” He left the room and she wiped her eyes.

“This is all a money game to them Mikasa. I don’t mean to be this way, but look.” I pointed to each casket. They are all the same. All expensive as hell. The wood one is fine. Hell, cremation is fine. How are you paying for this?” She shook her head and looked around the room.

“He didn’t have any life insurance, Levi. We are stuck with all of it…”

“You are NOT cremating my brother.” We looked up to see a woman looking at us.

“Aunt Hillary?!” Mikasa said through tears.

“I’m appalled that you would even listen to this…man. If you would even call him that.”

“Don’t say that about Levi!” She said as fresh tears started.

“Can we discuss this outside maybe?” Marco suggested as another family walked in to look at caskets.

“Absolutely.” We all walked outside by the same bench as before and Hillary crossed her arms. “I don’t know WHO you are sir-“

“Levi.”

“Levi. Whatever but, I’ve already made a first impression of you and I didn’t like it.”

“Is that so? Well I’ve made one of you too. When you should be here helping your fucking niece during the hardest time of her life, you show up and cause trouble. What kind of an aunt is that?”

“What kind of a man fucks a minor, huh?! Especially my nephew?!”

“WOAH!” My eyes lit up and I took a step forward. I felt Jean grab my shoulder. “You just hold on a fucking second. Don’t you DARE bring Eren into this.”

“Oh I will! You two were all over each other on Valentine’s day that night in Shinganshina! I saw you! Don’t tell me you two didn’t do anything!” I growled and took a step forward, but Jean jerked me back.

“Don’t do something you’ll regret, Levi!” Marco suggested. “She’s not worth it!”

“We didn’t do anything until Eren turned 18!”

“Like I believe that! You two were practically humping on the wall!”

“DON’T TALK ABOUT EREN LIKE THAT!” Mikasa yelled before she started crying again.

“He can’t even defend himself! It’s not fair!” I hissed.

“Oh, and why not?! Did you fuck his brains out or something?” She said with a smirk. I heard a slap and the next thing I knew she was rolling on the ground with Mikasa.

“TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK! FUCKING BITCH I’LL KILL YOU!” She screamed as she yanked her hair and Marco jumped on the two girls and lifted a kicking and screaming Mikasa into the air.

“CALM DOWN!”

“Eren’s in the hospital you piece of shit!” I yelled. “Grisha put him there! Grisha almost killed Eren. This is all his fault. All Grisha’s fault! If he had learned to control his anger, they would BOTH be fine!” I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks. “So guess what?! Now that he’s dead, she-“ I pointed to Mikasa, “Has to pay for his funeral. A kid that only has a part-time job and was already paying on her mom’s cancer treatment. What a shitty graduation present!”

“I….I didn’t….”

“SO THAT’S WHY, You fucking piece of talking shit, I suggested cremation. I will help Mikasa as much as I possibly can BECAUSE she’s my family, but the simple fact is, cremation is less expensive.” Her mouth fell open and she stood up and brushed her pants off. “Mikasa is my family just like Eren is my family. I love Eren.”

“Well…”

“And if you think any less of me for loving your nephew then you can go fuck off, because I’m not going anywhere!” Her gaze dropped to her shoes for a moment and she cleared her throat.

“I…I think maybe we should start over…If…If you’ll let me. Maybe my judgement of you was a little clouded…Mr-

“Ackerman. Levi Ackerman. Eren’s boyfriend.”

“Right…Levi…Sorry….Let’s start over…should we go back inside and talk things over then?” With that shitty form of apology I nodded and we came to a little understanding and went inside to try and discuss things civilly.

  


A few hours later

I walked into the ICU to check on my sleeping beauty, and I was greeted with the faces of three nurses in the room writing things down and leaning over his bedside checking on the machine that was beeping. One looked frustrated as she checked one of the IV’s.

“Tell the doctor to come in here. Sir, we may need you to leave.”

“What’s wrong?!” My eyes went wide as I looked over the situation, trying to read the signs. The numbers on the monitors kept jumping from green to yellow, and back to green.

“Yes?” The doctor pushed passed me and over to Eren and the nurses. I stayed back and out of their way.

“His fluid levels are going up.”

“Change the bag and increase the dosage on…that one.”

“Yes sir.” He nodded at me before walking out.

“Is…Is he going to be alright?!” I took a step closer and my heart began to pound.

“Sweetheart, we need to get his drainage bag changed… It’s pretty late already. You can see him in the morning.”

“Eren?!” I felt a tug on my sleeve and a nurse was pulling me from his room. “Please! Just let me say goodbye!” She sighed and I tugged myself free, rushing to his side, which luckily wasn’t the one they were working on. “Babe, listen. I love you. I can’t stay tonight b-but…” I felt tears threatening my eyes but I pushed them back. “But I love you more than anything. I’ll be back here first thing in the morning. You have to fight, Eren. Fight and be strong for me. For us. Fuck…I love you…” I felt another tug on my arm and I nodded before I pressed a feather light kiss to his cheek. “Sweet Dreams, Eren.”

 

I walked home alone to the sound of Hanji’s voice yammering on about what high fluid levels meant for 20 minutes, and I even darted into a grocery store to pick up a few things to cook for dinner like she had suggested to help ease my mind. I was going to practice making my Nana’s pasta. That way it’d be perfect for when Eren did wake up. I avoided actually looking down at my steps and porch. Not gonna happen. Just unlock the door and- slam. Good. I was inside. I ended the call with her and immediately went to feed Kirara. She brushed up against my legs, but didn’t go to her kibble immediately.

“Meeeow…” I scratched her behind the ear and she rubbed my legs again, following me over and going towards the door as if looking for Eren’s shoes. What a fucking way to rip my heart out.

“Papa is here. Hopefully he’ll be back soon.”

“Meeew.” She ran over to me and brushed my legs again.

“Yeah, I wish he was here too.” I washed my hands, started the water boiling and put some music on. Random playlist it was.

 

She lost her brother a month ago   
His picture on the wall   
And it reminds me   
When she brings me coffee...her smile   
I wish I could be with her until my last day

 

Hmmm…what to do while I wait? I looked at my bag and it clicked. I could work on the manga. I only had a couple of pages left actually and maybe tonight I could actually finish it. Not like I could get much sleep anyway. I started laying out my supplies and began inking a page, and after the water was actually boiling I dropped the pasta in.

 

She said She gave all her love to me (I said I gave all my love to you)   
We dreamt a new life (We dreamt a new house)   
Some place to be at peace   
But things changed...Suddenly   
I lost my dreams in this disaster

 

I swallowed hard as I sketched in the last details of the page. Finally. FINALLY, our characters were happy. This was one of the longest manga I’d ever drawn and I’d even divided it into two parts, but now…now they were happy. The last picture I was finally inking them with locked lips and closed eyes, arms wrapped around each other. I hoped Eren would be back in my arms soon. I would never let him down again. Ever.

  


I took a break to drain the pasta and start the sauce, dumping in a ½ cup of white wine and letting it simmer down into the pan. I returned to the drawing and kept filling it in, shading his delicate collarbones. His stunning eyes. His perfect lips on mine.

 

  
Oh Where is my lover   
I got no power   
I'm standing alone. No way   
Calling out your name

 

I heard the rumble of a truck. A HUGE truck and I felt the floor shake. What the fuck? A bulldozer was driving by, no doubt from the construction site a few blocks down. I stopped drawing for a moment to let it pass, but then a cement truck came through and the walls began to shake.

“MEEEOW.” Kirara ran to me and I threw my pencil down and picked her up.

“Shhhhh. It’s okay little girl.” The walls shook so hard, I firmly held her against my chest. But then…suddenly without warning there was a crash. My eyes went wide and I pulled her closer. “W-WHAT?! NO!!!” I put her carefully in her carrier and locked it and ran into the living room, now completely stable as the truck drove away down the street. “Y-YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!” I fell to my knees in front of the pile of glass and paper.

We don't know what is wrong tonight   
Everybody's got no place to hide   
No one's left and there's no one to go on   
All I know is my life is gone

I pulled the paper out of the pile of glass without thinking and cut the top of my hand. “SHIT!” I jerked back, pulling the paper with me. Tears started running down my cheeks as I looked at the painting. Turquoise, grey, white and black splatters. Our paintings were lying in a heap on the floor. There was glass everywhere. No. NO. NO. NO! I cried out and simply laid the one I rescued onto the couch as blood dripped down my hand. I simply didn’t care anymore. What was life without my teal eyed beauty?

The song switched over to the Amity Affliction and my heart sunk even further. Would Eren even be awake in time for the concert? Hell, would he even be well enough to go? Who knew how much brain damage there would be?

 

Remember, remember the times when we were younger,  
when we shed our tears many times close together.   
Remember remember the days left behind,   
and the words lost between us in the valleys of time.

 

“MEOOOW?!” I looked up and noticed white smoke pouring from the stove.

“SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!” I ran over to the stove and jerked the pan off of the cook top and directly into the sink. Well there went trying out the recipe… I frowned and eyed the bottle on the counter. Fuck it. Eren wasn’t here. He wasn’t with me to support me through this hell on Earth. I grabbed the bottle by its neck and sunk down between my desk and Kirara’s crate. I drank straight from the wine bottle and looked at her pitifully.

 

Remember my friend now remember my lover,  
when I told you that I'd never recover.   
And remember the cold stormy weather,   
and the promise I made I'd love you forever.   
I meant it I swear that I meant it forever.

 

“Meeew?” I shook my head as I watched the blood drip onto the wood floor. That’d be a bitch to get out later. Oh well. Maybe we could just strip and wax the floors. We needed to get the paint out anyway. I looked over to the paint stained floor boards and leaned my head down.

  
If my eyes are the oceans that put your head in the clouds   
then your heart is the reason I keep my feet on the ground.   
I've just watched the world turning, kept my head held up high,   
kept my feet on the ground, kept the hope in my eyes.

 

I couldn’t help but let out a cry. Eren. Fucking Eren. Everything in this damn apartment reminded me of him! Every single spot. No matter where I sat, where I stood, what I touched. It was all about him. He was my life now. My heart, my soul, my world. Eren was the glue that kept me from falling apart.

 

I meant it I swear that I meant it and mean it,  
and after that time I will always repeat it,   
I love you I swear and I won't let you go,   
that's something I really need you to know.   
Remember my friend now remember my lover   
when I told you that I would never recover? Well...

 

By this point I was fucking sobbing. I took another swig from the bottle and ran my fingers through my bangs and yanked. And yanked and yanked. Bullshit. Complete bullshit. It’s not fair! Not fucking fair! All this shit happens to us and we just want to be happy! We don’t deserve it! I yanked my bangs again and my head was spinning. Spinning spinning spinning. Yanking pulling yanking. I couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t get my thoughts across.

 

  
If my eyes are the oceans that put your head in the clouds   
then your heart is the reason I keep my feet on the ground.   
I've just watched the world turning, kept my head held up high,   
kept my feet on the ground, kept the hope in my eyes.

 

I just want to be there with him, but I CAN’T! NO! They won’t fucking allow that! I’m not good enough! I screamed as I threw the bottle, half empty now across the apartment. It exploded as it hit the wall and I heard a bell ring and a light ‘meeeew’ beside me. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

 

I love you I swear and I won't let you go,  
that's something that I really need you to know.

 

Hell, that was probably for the better. The promise I’d made Eren was rushing through me with a pang of guilt. I had assured Eren that I would never be perfect. And he promised me that he would love me just the same, even with all my flaws. I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair, banging my head against the wall.

And then you embraced me with your entire being,   
and we were carried away off to a peaceful sea...

 

I fucking NEED him. I need him, I need him, I need him. He’s my everything! I yanked my bangs again and my head spun. FUCK THIS! I reach above me and grabbed my scissors from my art table and slid them across my hair. FUCK THIS. Fuck it fuck it fuck it. If I can’t yank it, I can think. I can think. I chucked the scissors across the room in the same direction as the bottle and with it went a trail of hair.

 

If my eyes are the oceans that put your head in the clouds   
then your heart is the reason I keep my feet on the ground.   
I've just watched the world turning, kept my head held up high,   
kept my feet on the ground, kept the hope in my eyes.

  


Eren…please wake up. PLEASE. I need you. Don’t…Don’t leave me like Nana did. Don’t…die. Another sob ripped through me and I laid over on the floor, his key falling over my arm. I grasped it in my hand and begged. I begged and prayed to whatever God was out there that they bring my Eren back to me. I would do anything to have him back. Anything. Please please please. I screamed again, lower this time but still a scream as my vision began going fuzzy. Please Eren…Please don’t leave me…I love you.

  
  


“OH MY GOD! LEVI!” I felt a hand on my shoulder and I stirred underneath it. Fuck. Why did everything hurt? Why was I so cold? Why was there music still blasting from the TV? I opened my eyes to find myself on the floor. “LEVI?! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!” Hanji’s voice was ringing in my ears and I shook my head. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

  


I was raised in the valley, there were shadows and death.  
Got out alive but with scars I can't forget.   
This kid back in school, subdued and shy.   
An orphan and a brother and unseen by most eyes

  


“How’s Eren?” I sat up and looked at her with a serious expression.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” The look of disbelief on her face was unmatched…well maybe only by Erwin’s who was looking back and forth from the mess around the apartment to me.

“What time is it?” I rubbed my head and froze. HOLY- My eyes went wide and I swallowed hard.

“MISSING SOMETHING?!” I whimpered and thumped back against the wall.

“FUCK ALL OF THIS! I didn’t ask for this you know!” I yelled. “I didn’t ask for the one I love to…to…I felt the tears start again, but I pushed past them. “I’m so fucking tired of crying! I’m tired of feeling my heart getting ripped out. OVER and OVER and OVER! It’s not fair! I JUST WANT EREN! I don’t need a fucking house or a car or anything. I just want HIM!”

 

I don't know what it was that made a piece of him die,  
Took a boy to the forest, slaughtered him with a scythe.   
Stamped on his face, an impression in the dirt.   
Do you think the silence makes a good man convert?

 

“Levi…” I pushed Hanji away and shook my head. “I can’t….I can’t deal right now…” I reach towards the x-acto knife on my desk and Erwin grabbed my hand.   


“Don’t you fucking dare Levi! What would Eren think of you?! You keep telling him to be strong, and you need to be strong too!” Tears were running down my neck. Erwin’s words stung. They were overwhelming me.

“He knows this shit is hard!” I yelled. I heard footsteps behind Hanji and looked up to see Moblit. He was becoming an ever present character in her life…maybe the two had a thing going on. Not like I fucking cared. The x-acto was caught in a limbo between Erwin’s strength and my grasp.

 

  
We all have our horrors and our demons to fight.   
But how can I win, when I'm paralyzed?

 

“Here.” Moblit held out his pack of clove cigarettes to me. “Take one. Maybe it’ll help. Give your hands something to do.” I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment before nodding and releasing my shaky hands from the blade.

“I’m sorry…so sorry…it just hurts so bad…” I leaned back against the wall and he handed me a cigarette, even lit it for me.

 

They crawl up on my bed, wrap their fingers around my throat.  
Is this what I get for the choices that I've made?

 

“We know, Levi.” Erwin nodded as he handed Moblit the blade and he went off somewhere with it. “We know you are hurting right now, but you have to stay strong for Eren. He needs you. And he’s going to need you more than ever when he wakes up, so you have to take care of yourself.” I felt tears leaking down my cheeks as I nodded. Smoking in my house was NEVER something I would approve of, but right now, all fucks were thrown to the wind. I looked outside and surprisingly, it was still dark.

 

God forgive me, for all my sins. God forgive me, for everything.  
God forgive me, for all my sins. God forgive me, God forgive me.

 

“What time is it?”

“5:30. Erwin has to go to work at 7, so we came to get you early, but….” Hanji gave me a soft smile. I think that maybe we should go a little later. You need some actual sleep, Levi.” I shook my head and attempted to stand, and Hanji took my arm to help me up.

 

“I have to go see him. I promised-“

“Eren that you would take care of yourself right? That you wouldn’t make yourself sick?” I frowned and put out the rest of my cigarette.

“Yeah....but I told him I’d be back in the morning.”

 

Don't go, I can't do this on my own.  
Don't go, I can't do this on my own.   
Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night.   
I can't live with myself, so stay with me tonight.   
Don't go.   
Don't go.

 

“And we will be! I’ll walk over with you as soon as you rest a little bit.” I sighed and looked at the mess of the living room. SHIT. I was glad I was sane enough to put Kirara in her carrier at least.

“I’m going to take Kirara to my place.” Erwin offered. I nodded.

“That would be great…I’m not sure when I’ll be here. I’ve been gone so much.” Erwin picked up her carrier just as Moblit was returning with a pair of work gloves. I raised my eyebrow at him.

“I’ll pick up a little in here. Go rest.”

“You don’t have to-“ He gave me a smile and nodded.

“I don’t mind. Really. Go.”

“Thank you…Just…” I motioned towards the mass of paintings and glass. “Those are special to me, so…” I frowned and new tears started. “A fucking cement truck shook the walls last night and knocked it down and…” Hanji hugged me, then began pulling me towards the stairs.

“Shhh….Moblit’s got it! He’s a pro at cleaning up my messes!” She winked at me and led me upstairs. “Okay short stuff. Shower. You’ll feel better!” I nodded and grabbed a pair of pajamas to change into and some underwear. After a quick scrub down and mental turmoil after seeing my hair…well what was left of my bangs anyway…I walked out to the bedroom. Hanji was sitting on my side of the bed thumbing through her phone, with some music playing on the TV.

 

If I let you in, you'd just want out.  
If I tell you the truth, you'd vie for a lie.   


 

“I look like a jacked up version of Marco…” I groaned as I sat on the edge of the bed.

“Everyone makes mistakes Levi. It’ll grow back. I’m sure it was the wine and anger talking.” I nodded and rubbed what was left of my bangs.

“Can I get it fixed before we go?”

“Sure!” She gave my head a pat and smiled. “Now, into bed! Do you want the blue light off too?”

“NO!” She frowned and I looked at the floor. “I ugh…that’s…that’s Eren’s…it stays on all the time.”

 

If I spilt my guts, it would make a mess we can't clean up.  
If you follow me, you will only get lost.   
If you try to get closer, we'll only lose touch.   
But you already know too much, and you're not going anywhere.

 

“Okay!” She rolled down the blankets for me and I snuggled up with my Shifter plushie. “Here!” She shoved the Captain plushie into my arms and I frowned. “Sleep with both! The Shifter gets lonely without his Captain! Plus! You can take the Captain to Eren today and it’ll smell like you.” I smiled and nodded as I settled back down. Hanji really was brilliant. She pulled the covers right up over me as I settled into Eren’s side of the bed, being enveloped in his sent. Into his total being. It was comforting and nostalgic. Like his arms were around me almost. Calming in so many ways.

 

Tell me that you need me 'cause I love you so much.  
Tell me that you love me 'cause I need you so much.   
Tell me that you need me 'cause I love you so much.   
Say you'll never leave me 'cause I need you so much.

  


“Hanji…”

“Yeah?” I heard her start back towards the bed and sit on the edge.

“Will you stay with me?” I felt the covers lift up and she snuggled in. She would never be Eren, but on the other side of that, I really didn’t want to be alone. I couldn’t be alone right now. Not with the way I was feeling. I didn’t want another replay of last night. Especially with his scent all around me and so many of his familiar belongings.

 

Don't go, I can't do this on my own.  
Don't go, I can't do this on my own.   
Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night.   
I can't live with myself, so stay with me tonight.

 

“He’s going to be okay.”

“I know…” I closed my eyes and held the plushies close as I felt her skinny arm wrap around me. I was so used to Eren’s arm and Eren’s scent. Her fruity scent was a little surprising as it drifted around me, but it wasn’t unwelcomed. I felt my thoughts become fuzzy as I drifted off.

Don't go, I can't do this on my own.  
Don't go (you're not alone)   
Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night.   
I can't live with myself, so stay with me tonight.   
Don't go.

  
  


_“He’s going to be fine.”_

_“Good. I couldn’t handle it if the brat really got hurt under my care…”_

_“Levi, he can regenerate. Whole limbs if he needs to! He’ll be fine! You on the other hand-“ Hanji Motioned towards my leg and I shrugged._

_“I’ll be fine. I’ll just take a week or so off from duty. By the way-“ I handed her a letter. “Give this to Erwin.” She clapped her hands and smiled._

_“Sure thing!!!”_

_“Oi, brat. Wake up.”_

_“Mhmm…what time is it?” I shook him roughly and his eyes popped open. ”Heichou?!”_

_“Get your ass out of bed. We have somewhere to go.” He jumped up and brushed his teeth, hurriedly getting dressed and throwing his gear on._

_“So…we’re going somewhere. What about our duties?”_

_“I’ve gotten permission for us to both take leave for two days. Well…you. I’m on medical leave for at least another ten days anyway.” He frowned as he looked at my knee. “Stop looking like someone shit on your puppy. I’ll be fine.” With a nod we were descending the stairs from the basement, although pretty slowly on my part and Eren even reach over to take my hand._

_“You can go on up you know, you don’t have to wait on me.”_

_“I’m not waiting on you. I’m walking with you and holding your hand. We are enjoying time together. There’s a difference.” I couldn’t help but snort as we climbed the stairs and eventually reach the top. It seemed like it took forever, but eventually we were at the barn and on our horses, even though my leg was taking a slight beating from the ride. I was enduring it._

_We rode for a few hours, only stopping once at a tavern to make sure we were headed the right way. Then finally, we arrived. We were in a field surrounded by flowers and a lake. Eren looked at me with wonder as we tied the horses to a fence._

_“This is it, come on.” We walked out towards the lake and I saw it standing tall by the huge tree. The monument. I grabbed Eren’s hand and gave it a squeeze. As we got closer the words came into view and I could hear him release a deep breath._

**_In Memory of the Lives Lost that Day_ **

_“Levi…” I pulled him closer to me as we walked right up on it, but I didn’t let go of his hand._

_“I know it’s not the same. I know you’ll never really be able to visit her, but…” He ran his fingers along the wall, searching for the familiar letters. I spotted names that I’d known for years and I paid my silent respects. His fingers stopped suddenly over a name._

**_Carla Jaeger_ **

_“Thank you for bringing me here…” I stood up on my tip-toes and kissed his cheek._

_“Anything for you, kid.”_

_“L-Levi…can we…can we bring her flowers?” I frowned as I looked at the monument. There were no bodies here obviously, but if that’s what Eren wanted, then that’s what he’d get._

_“The flower shop is an hour’s ride back. We better go now if we want to make it before sundown.” He gave my hand a squeeze and shook his head._

_“No…I mean...There are plenty around us. Will you pick some with me?” His eyes were watery, but there were no tears. He was holding back. That much I could tell. I nodded and off we walked, hand in hand through the field of flowers. “Which ones do you think?” My fingers lingered at a flower and I plucked it from the ground._

_“This one is a lily. I think they are beautiful even though they are simple. Did you know flowers have meanings, Eren?” He nodded and I smiled as I took a few steps closer, placing the lily in his hand._

_“Hanji mentioned it, but I kind of zoned out when she went into detail…” I chuckled and brushed some of the pollen off of the white petal._

_“Well, lilies symbolize beauty.” We walked a little further to a bush that was growing in the sun. “And roses symbolize love.”_

_“I knew that!” I smiled and picked the pink rose and being careful of the thorns, added it with the lilly. I picked a few more from the bush._

_“Did you know that the different colors had meanings?” He frowned and shook his head._

_“See, this rose is probably fitting for your mother because pink is to show appreciation. Red is for passion, yellow for friendship.”_

_“How do you know all this?” He gave me a puzzled look as I pulled another lilly from the ground._

_“I read, brat. Try it sometime.” We trekked our way back to the stone monument and found her name again. I looked over to Eren as he held the makeshift bouquet of flowers and he just looked to the ground as tears started to fall._

_“I’m sorry…I thought…I thought I could be strong…I thought after all these years…” I took his hand into mine and together we sat the flowers down. I tugged him towards the tree at the edge of the monument and we sat together on the filthy ground. I pulled the taller boy onto my lap and he leaned his head against my shoulder. “I thought…I thought becoming a soldier would…”_

_“Shhh….” I ran my fingers through his hair. “It doesn’t matter how strong you are. Losing someone fucking hurts. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been either. The hurt’s always there. I lost my best friends right after I joined the Survey Corps Eren. It still hurts. Trust me.” He nodded against my shoulder and gave my hand a squeeze. “That’s why I have trouble opening up to people. That and the fact that I had no Dad really, and my Mom died when I was young. I had to fight for everything I had in the streets underground. It was a life of utter hell, but now…” I turned his face towards me just as a tear was rolling down. “At least now…I have something to look forward to. I can look forward to seeing you smile every day. To seeing those eyes light up. To freeing this world of those beasts once and for all so we can live a happy life in peace. It’s the reason we have to keep fighting. Do you understand?” He nodded and I gently brought our lips together. “I promise everything will be alright.”_

  
  
  


“Levi.”

“Mhmm… Eren…The titans…they’ll be…”

“Levi, you should probably wake up.” My eyes popped open and Hanji was leaning over me. “It’s almost 9. We can get your hair cut and head to see Eren now.” I nodded and did just that.

Amazingly, the apartment was in a lot better shape now. The glass was all cleaned up. Our paintings were stacked neatly on the couch and even the fabric squares that were in the corner were stacked on one side.

“Why don’t you take a few?” Hanji suggested with a smile. “Put a few together. Eren bragged about how good you were at hand stitching.” I shrugged and sorted through the squares. He’s mentioned that the blocks didn’t really have a particular order, just that the big piece of fabric needed to go on the back, obviously. I picked out a few and threw them into the sewing basket he’d made and a pang hit my heart. Fuck. It was one of the last things he’d made. One of the last things he’d touched. NO! Don’t think that way! Moblit was long gone, so we took a cab to the mall to get my hair cut, then to the hospital.

“Stop touching it! It looks fine!” I frowned as I touched it again. It didn’t look fine. It was even shorter and did in fact look like Marco’s hair now. Definitely a Marco haircut if I’d ever seen one. We were buzzed into the ICU and we walked back to Eren’s room. There was already someone in there with him. I stood by the door, swallowing hard. Technically it was still morning. I hadn’t broken my promise.

“Hey L-WOAH.” Jean froze as he looked at me and Marco’s eyes went wide. I frowned and sat my basket in the chair, before walking to Eren’s side.

“Hey…” I let down the bar that separated us as usual and took his hand into mine. “Hey babe. Sorry I’m a little late. Hanji made me rest. I had a bit of a rough night without you…” I grimaced as I glanced at the new IV running down into his neck. “Hmm…that wasn’t there yesterday. They’ve been poking you without my permission, huh? I thought I was the only one that’s allowed to nip you?” I smiled gently and gave his hand a pat. For a split second I thought I saw his eyebrow twitch, but surely it was my imagination.

“How you holding up, Levi?” Jean asked as he looked over at me.

“I’m surviving, I guess. It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done though.” He nodded and looked down at Eren.

“We are both here for you. Just so you know…For you and Eren.”

“I appreciate that.” There was a knock on the door and a nurse poked her head in.

“Eren has another visitor. We can only allow so many in at a time.”

“We’ll head out. We’ve been here for a while. Remember, anything at all. Just call or text!” Jean gave a wave and Marco smiled warmly as they exited the room. Right on cue, Mikasa entered the room and walked over to my side and gave me a hug.

“Hey.”

“Hey…”

“What happened to your hair?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. I shrugged and looked down at Eren.

“Long story. Don’t mix wine with anti-depressants and art supplies I guess.” She nodded and gave his hand a soft stroke. I looked back to Eren and sighed. He looked peaceful, at least. Ghostly pale, but peaceful. I leaned over and pressed and ever so gentle kiss to his cheek, longing to have those lips on mine again. His warm touches. His laugh. His smile. But all that was just a dream right now.

“You’re really in love with my brother, aren’t you?” Mikasa said as she sat down in one of the two chairs. I nodded as I stroked a strand of hair away from his face.

“I am. I’m completely ready to spend the rest of my life with him if he’ll have me, but….” I looked at my sleeping beauty and choked back a sob. No. No. He would wake up. “But that’s a big choice to make. With Eren…hell, with both of us, it’s better to work our way up to things.”

“I really admire you, Levi.” I turned to her, just as she sank back in the chair. “I didn’t expect things to work out with you and Eren…I thought…I don’t know what I thought…Either way, I’m sorry for that. You’ve been so good to him. So loyal and…You are really my family now.” I smiled kindly and looked back to him.

“Eren…” I pressed another kiss, this time to his jaw. “I know you can feel those, brat. You can’t resist when I kiss you there. Don’t make me go lower.” I joked. I pressed one just a tiny bit lower, to his neck, and pulled away.

“How long are you staying today?” She asked me as I pulled the other chair closer to his side before I let down the bar.

“I’m staying until they kick me out.” Her eyes went wide and she grinned.

“You’re crazy.”

“I think you’re right…” I gave one more look to Eren before I opened up the sewing basket. “Oh yeah.” I pulled out the plushie and smiled. “I brought this for you, Eren. For when I can’t be here. I know you may not be able to tell now, but…” I frowned but laid it against his side. I then proceeded to pull a couple of squares out of the basket and start sewing them together.

“Well…Armin just texted me asking me to a late lunch. I think I’ll head out. Unless you want me to stay?” I shook my head.

“No, I’ve got my company.” I smiled over at the sleeping boy and she nodded.

“If you need me call.”

“Same to you Mikasa.”

  
  


“Sir, we need you to leave. It’s time for his evening round of medications and screenings, then we will be locking down the wing for the night.” I frowned as I looked at the clock. 7:45. I had managed to stay a little later today at least. I packed up the basket, and after kissing his cheek goodbye and wishing him sweet dreams as usual, I wandered off down the silent hallway.

  


Back at the apartment, it was deadly quiet. No TV. No footsteps. No one to greet me. No cat bell. I slung the basket on the couch and pulled out my iPod to shove it back in my messenger bag. Sleep. That’s what I needed. I was truly surprised no one was here to watch out for me. I shook my head as I walked up the stairs. After brushing my teeth I walked to the bed. Empty. Lonely. Fuck. I emptied my pockets, throwing the contents on the bedside table. Phone, charger, cigarettes, lighter. Hmph. I swallowed hard and reminded myself. It’s just temporary. Just something to take the edge off while he’s not near.

I slipped my pants and shirt off and wormed my way into bed. So cold without him here. I pulled my Shifter plushie to my chest. Hanji’s lingering fruity scent drifted around me on my side, but I shook off the thought and scooted over to his side of the bed. Here I could be safe. Here…maybe I could feel a little bit of home. I felt my eyes close and I drifted off into an uneasy sleep….

  


_Eren…Eren…EREN?! “EREN!?” I bolted up and looked at the stone walls around me._

_“Sorry, Heichou!” He emerged from the bathroom and stretched a little, before snuggling back into bed with me. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” I shook my head and pulled him closer, feeling his heart beat against mine._

_“Don’t….don’t do that. I thought you left…” He snuggled closer, bright eyes lighting up the near complete darkness aside from the moonlight pouring through the window._

_“I wouldn’t leave you, Captain. Not when you are this warm and-“_

_“Levi.” He smiled up and me and ran soft finger down my arm to my hand. They were scarred and calloused like mine. He was so young. So fresh into the Survey Corps._

_“Sorry…Levi.” With that he pressed a kiss to my lips. We fell silent for a long while, and he even dozed off in my arms, head tucked against my chest. I buried my face in those chocolate locks and relished in the company. Eren was mine. It was official, and I wasn’t going to let anything take him away from me. Human or titan. Not now and not ever. I watched the sun trace its shadows throughout the room and a knock on the door alerted me._

_“Levi! You’ve got the morning training today! Remember!” I groaned and struggled out of Eren’s grasp. I really did have to get up, even though my body was begging me to stay next to my personal heater. Just being next to him eased the ache in my leg. His hand caught my arm and tried to pull me back under the covers._

_“Oi, I’ve got to get up, brat.”_

_“Levi…” He whined and looked up from the pillows with those turquoise eyes that I adore._

_“Come on. Get up with me too.” I tugged him out of bed and we threw on our uniforms. He actually helped me a lot with my uniform. My leg just didn’t want to cooperate today and the straps were just being a pain._

_“All set!” He grinned at me and I nodded as we slowly made our way to the yard outside._

_“Eren. Stay by my side. I may need you.” He nodded as we both stood in front of the whole regiment._

_“SALUTE!” Hanji yelled as she saluted me._

_“HAI!” Everyone, included Eren saluted me and I rolled my eyes. Formalities could kiss my ass._

_“Stretches first!” I commanded. Everyone had ditched their cloaks for the morning exercises, and I really didn’t blame them. It was already getting hot. I began leading them, demonstrating my sets of stretches. I grimaced as the muscles in my leg stretched. I’d insisted yesterday, against Erwin’s orders, that I return back to my command. Taking days off was just not something I could do right now. Not with the current situation. “Shit…” I cursed loud enough for Eren to hear, and he shot me a look. I stood up straight and attempted the stretch again, this time shooting a pain through my leg that made my knee buckle._

_“Heichou!” He grabbed my arm._

_“Tch…” I looked at my muddy pants and shook my head. “Lead them with the stretches, Eren.” I brought my other leg down to rest it, even though I was now covered in mug and sighed. At least my muscles were relaxed now. Though the consistent pain shooting through it couldn’t be good. Eren looked to me for orders after each set, which I supplied and after I dismissed everyone, he pulled me up._

_“Levi…” I frowned and tried to put weight on my leg._

_“FUCK!” Hanji ran over._

_“Erwin told you, Levi! Hell, I even tried to tell you!” I leaned against Eren and shook my head._

_“Don’t give me all that bullshit with I told you so, shitty glasses!” She frowned and shoved my shoulder._

_“You are too damn stubborn to care about your own health! Eren, take him back to his room. I’ll get WRITTEN orders from Erwin this time!” She stormed off and my stomach sank. I was muddy and in pain, with only the warmth of Eren against my side to comfort me. He was probably pissed too for all I knew…_

_“Are you gonna tell me to fuck off too?” I asked calmly as he helped me towards the stairs._

_“Why would I do that?” I eyed the stairs and cursed. I saw Eren glance around before he easily lifted me up into his arms and carried me up the stairs._

_“OI! You fucking Mppph-“ His lips certainly did a great job of shutting me up, and before I knew it we were back at my room. I unlocked the door and inside we went. I hissed as I took a few steps inside and shrugged off my leather jacket._

_“Cap-Levi…you really need to rest.” I saw the concern in his eyes and I sighed. He pulled me to the chair and I sat as he began to undress me, face turning cherry red._

_“Bet this isn’t the way you had imagine you’d get to strip me the first time, huh brat?”_

_“N-NO?! I mean…I wouldn’t…I mean I’ve never…” He took my boots off gently, one by one and set them aside. My straps were off in what seemed like seconds and then he was lingering over the buttons of my shirt._

_“Go ahead. Well…only if you want to. It’s not an order so…” He shook his head rapidly._

_“No! Absolutely. I’ll do anything for you, Levi.” His voice trailed off and his blush began creeping down his neck. He took off his own jacket and tossed it aside with mine. “Because I care about you…” I smiled gently and nodded as his fingers began working on the buttons. Within minutes he had me out of my filthy clothes and hobbling to the bathroom. I stripped my last garment before climbing into the shower and under the hot water, rinsing away the mud. “Someone’s knocking.” I heard Eren say from outside the shower and his footsteps faded off. I finished up my shower rather quickly, wrapping a towel around me and stepping out with another grimace as I waited for him to return. I dried myself off and looked at myself in the mirror. Is this what Humanity’s Strongest was really reduced to? A face full of pain and days of bed rest?_

_“Levi-OH” I turned to Eren and his face was maroon. I grinned and simply leaned on him as we walked to the dresser. He was shielding his eyes, which made me chuckle._

_“Are you really that innocent, brat? I don’t believe it.”_

_“I…I-“ He whimpered and I slipped on my underwear, using him for support._

_“Fuck. That’ll have to work. Screw anything else.” I limped over to the bed and dove under the covers. Within seconds, he was propping my leg up, making sure I was more than comfortable._

_“Hanji sent this.” He held up a brown paper bag and I opened it, revealing a mysterious brown bottle inside._

_Levi, two tablespoons up to three times a day. You may want to take with some fruit or something sweet._

_-Hanji_

_I frowned and looked up at Eren. No way was he just going to let me toss it aside. And I really wanted to take it, to be honest. Hopefully it would dull that stabbing pain in my leg._

_“Eren, there’s a basket of apples on the table. Could you cut one? She said to take it with some fruit.”_

_“Sure!” He washed his hands and the apple and went about fixing it at the table, returning just a couple of minutes later. I looked at the plate and couldn’t help the smile that crept across my face._

_“Bunnies?” his eyes went wide and he looked down at the place._

_“OH! I didn’t realize…”_

_“You made me apple bunnies?” He smiled gently and sat on the edge of the bed._

_“That’s how mom and Mikasa always used to make them. Back in Shinganshina.” His smile was soft and he smoothed my bangs back. “Okay, two tablespoons right?” I nodded as he measured out the medicine. Was he really-_

_“ERK-“ He shoved the spoon in my mouth followed by an apple bunny and I chewed on it carefully. After the second bite was in my mouth, his lips were pressed against mine. Somehow the sweetness of the bunny and his lips on mine made that shit she called medicine taste a little better._

_“One more.” He kissed my forehead and I leaned back. I could get used to this. Being babied by Eren. I opened my mouth and the second spoonful went in. I winced at the taste, but then another bunny was being offered to me, which I gladly took. I heard the lid go back on the bottle and Eren stood up, leaving the plate at my side. I munched a few more bunnies and he even took a couple before he stepped back. “It’s alright if I stay here?”_

_“Of course.” He stripped off his shirt and pants and walked over to the bed, sliding under the covers with me._

_“Sorry about your leg…” he wrapped his arms around me and though it felt odd, I relaxed into his embrace. To be in someone’s arms. To fully trust them. To be so close to their heartbeat._

_“S’ okay….”_

_“I’m going to force you to take it easy, you know…” His voice was nearly a whisper and the room around me was beginning to spin._

_“Eren…why do you have…why four eyes?” he chuckled and pulled me a little closer. At least the pain was easing. That much I noticed._

_“Shhhh…shut your eyes.” I was pretty tired, now that he mentioned it. Sleep sounded great…Maybe just for a little while._

_“I love you, Eren…”_

_“And I love you, Levi. Even if you DO need to learn how to take care of yourself better.”_

  


I bolted straight up in bed, a cold sweat pouring over me. Eren. EREN. He…he felt so close just now. That dream. NO. Those seemed more like….I dropped my head into my hands and felt tears leaking down my cheeks. Memories. No way. No…they couldn’t be. They seemed too vivid to be dreams any longer and the only explanation would be…something I’ve already seen. Something that I remember. Eren. I jumped out of bed and threw my clothes back on. I had to see him. Had to…even if it was just holding his hand. I had to be near him.

I slung my messenger bag over my shoulder and practically ran to the hospital. I knew it was probably dangerous at this time of night. I glanced at my phone. 12:14. I shook my head. I would get in. I had to. I had to see him. Thunder rumbled overhead and my tears dripped as I bolted towards the direction of my love. Of my Eren. Of my…Shifter. It was all crashing down on my now. The dreams. The familiar feelings. The clicking of everything into place just right. Fate had brought us together and we were MEANT to be this way, just like we had been all those years ago. I loved Eren then, and I love him now. I picked up my pace as the rain began to pour, soaking me. I was nearly dripping as I walked up to the ICU and I shivered as I pressed the buzzer.

“Mr. Ackerman, we aren’t supposed to let-“

“I know…” I looked at her and wiped fresh tears from my eyes. I’ll sleep on the fucking floor, hell I’ll scrub bedpans if it means I can stay by his side for the rest of the night. Please. Just…not tonight…” She sighed in defeat and let me back into his room. I dried off with a few paper towels and went to his side.

“You know-“ She poked her head in the door. “You can sit on the edge of the bed. He’ll be fine as long as you don’t move his head.” Fresh tears welled up and I nodded. She shut the door behind her and I let the railing down.

“Eren…I had to see you tonight…I…ran through the rain…” I pulled my iPod out of my bag and set it on my lap as I sat down on the edge of his bed carefully. “I had a dream tonight…” I looked as his sleeping form and my stomach did a flip. My Eren. I stuck one earbud in my ear and glanced out the window. It was a gorgeous moon tonight and I thought back to one of his favorite songs. “Hey, would you like me to sing to you? I didn’t wait for a reply, I just hit play and the familiar music started.

The English lyrics flashed across the screen as the song played and I sang along in Japanese softly to him as I held his hand.

When an orange-colored moonlit night comes, I think of you,  
as though the chic affectations in my words were someone else's words.

Always thinking of you, Eren. You are always on my mind.

 

Even now, (I can remember) the pale light  
that illuminated your silhouette as you suddenly glanced up (at that night's   
sky).

  


The music reminded me of the contest at Sora-con and my heart ached. What I would do to have those happy times back. I needed him back. I looked out the window, at the moon shining in, lighting up the room. Lighting up his pale complexion.  
  
---  
  
 

What is it I'm waiting for, in this room without you --  
it's just the clock's ticking, but it resonates in my sleepless heart like    
the sound of footsteps

Tears were streaming again. The lyrics were hitting me hard, but I tried my best to sing them to Eren to the best of my ability. My heart was sleepless. I was just waiting alone in this room. I shook my head and wiped away my endless tears. I choked back a sob and continued on.

Even now I'm waiting; I stop here alone.  
From where do you now see the moon we saw together on that day?

What was it that Eren was seeing? He obviously wasn’t seeing this room. Was he dreaming? Was he having a peaceful sleep? Or a nightmare? There were too many unknowns. I could only hope that he was having a good dream and that he wasn’t in any pain.

My behavior made a mimicry of laughter, even when I remember your voice.  
The scene of the night when we walked around together is (now) an orange-colored    
photograph.

I had to just brace myself against his arm for a moment as the lyrics played on.

“S-Sorry. I’m trying, Eren… It’s just so hard without you by my side. You keep me from falling apart. You…” I sobbed and leaned slightly against his leg. Just being this close, closer than we’d been in days, was a reward for me. But I still wanted the love of my life awake and back in my arms. “You keep me strong. I think…I think I finally figured it out.” I sobbed harder and pulled his hand to my heart. “All those years ago…I’m not even sure how long…we were in love. I can just feel it…you may think I’m crazy but…” I shook my head and sighed. “But I feel it. You were Humanity’s last hope. I was Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, and we completed each other, Eren. Just as we do now…Just….as we do now.” I cried out as I held on to his delicate fingers. “Y-You can’t have strength without hope, babe…so…please…wake up…I love you…with all of my heart and soul….”

 

You forgave the lies that fell from the darkness and my selfishness,  
but your tears, even now...

 

Without saying a word, time flows on;  
the sky is extinguished by the light of the morning that's coming soon,    
like it melts away.   
On that last night, no matter where it is,   
only the moon looks at my deserted heart even now.

 

“Eren…babe, my dreams aren’t enough. My memories aren’t enough. Past and present. They aren’t enough! I need you! I may be selfish and…and I may be…I don’t know…” My breath caught in my throat and I pressed a kiss to his hand. “I just want you here with me. I want to hear your voice, see those beautiful turquoise eyes I love so much, feel those fucking perfect lips on mine! I want to make that promise to you Eren! And I will! I fucking will!” I sunk even further down on the bed and pulled myself against him. “Please. Please. Please please please. I need you! I have to have you! I’ll admit it! I’m wild about you! Fucking desperate and I’ll tell anyone that asks that Eren Jaeger has my heart! It’s so true, so please…”

I'll keep waiting for you, no matter how far apart we are --  
it's just the clock's ticking, but it resonates in my sleepless heart like    
the sound of footsteps.

Waiting…waiting, waiting, waiting. As long as it took I’d wait. “I’ll wait forever if I have to, Eren. I love you more that anything. You are my everything, and you’ve pulled me out of the black haze that was my life. I’ve got you to thank for the happiness I’ve experienced. I will wait as long as it takes. But please, just pull through soon…”

Even now I'm waiting; I stop here alone.  
From where do you now see the moon we saw together on that day?

 


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first off http://ihasmagic.tumblr.com/ did an AMAZING fanart for LCSU!!! GO CHECK IT OUT!!!  
> [view it here!!!](http://ihasmagic.tumblr.com/post/120649570278/hey-xxdeja-uchihaxx-i-absolutely-love-your)
> 
> Secondly this chapter wasn't edited. My beta is busy with school! Good luck with studying!!! ^.^ <333

“Hmm….”

“Short stuff!” I cracked my eyes open to see Hanji shaking me. I pulled my head away from Eren’s arm, frowning at the line of drool as I pulled myself away. Shit….my back hurt.

“What…what time is it?”

“It’s 7:30. You need to get up. Today’s the funeral. Mikasa’s really going to need us.” I nodded and looked up at Eren, still resting peacefully. Was the day of the funeral already here? I guess it made sense, since they decided not to go with any bells and whistles. It was ironic really. I was helping Mikasa bear the brunt of the cost of her father’s funeral, even though he was the one that put Eren here. It made my heart ache, but that’s just where we were at. I threw my things in my messenger bag and sat up, stretching my back.

“Eren…” I took a step closer to him and frowned. Sure they said it’d be a few days, but… I shook the thought from my head. “Babe, I may not be back until late this evening, but I’ll stop by before they close the unit for the night. I promise.” I pressed a kiss to his cheek and smiled at him.

The walk downstairs to Erwin’s car was silent, and they really didn’t say much aside from good morning. I lit up a clove cigarette as soon as we stepped outside, which Erwin raised an eyebrow at, but we continued to his car.

“So what’s your plan, Levi?” I slid into the back seat and frowned.

“Plan for what?”

“The next few weeks. Income.” I looked out the window and sighed. Yeah…that was a good question…

“I finished my manga a couple of days ago. It actually two issues, so I guess I’ll submit it and pray that it’s enough to pay the bills. I’m taking off from Anteiku for a while. Eren needs me.”

“Levi…we should probably have a serious conversation.” Erwin said in a deep tone. “And I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but-“

“NO. Don’t give me that bullshit Erwin. I’ve run this through a million times in my mind already and…and I don’t want to hear it.”

“I’m just saying that maybe you shouldn’t abandon Anteiku. Work a few days here and there. Eren is in a coma, he doesn’t even know you’re there-“

“Shut the fuck up…” I muttered it and jammed my arm into the door. “He knows! I know he does…”

“Levi. Eren doesn’t want you to suffer. He doesn’t want you falling behind on bills or anything.”

“You don’t know everything Eren wants! All he wants is for us to be together! And that’s all I want too, Erwin. This conversation is over.” Like hell I was preparing for the worst. Like hell I was going to prepare for Eren to be in a coma for years. That wasn’t going to happen. He was going to wake up soon. He was going to be just fine.

“I’m sorry, Levi…I’m just trying to help…” I could hear the hurt in his voice and I nodded.

“I appreciate that, but…you can’t take away the little bit of hope I’m clinging to right now. Please.” I felt a few tears drip down my cheeks and I shook them away. We all fell silent and I walked into the house to quickly shower and change. I threw on something mildly appropriate I hoped. Black pants and a longsleeve black v-neck. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with dress clothes today, especially to show respect for someone that nearly destroyed my life. This was for Mikasa and Mikasa alone.

We stopped at houses, allowing Erwin to get changed and then Hanji. Then we picked up Mikasa and Armin. Mikasa looked exhausted, like she’d already been crying and Armin just looked tired. They both slid into the back and she leaned her head on my shoulder.

“How’s Eren?” she asked with a yawn.

“The same. Nothing’s changed as of this morning.” With a nod, she shut her eyes. We drove to Anteiku and knocked on the door, even though it said closed for a private event. Isabel smiled kindly, and let us all in.

“Hey everyone! Mikasa, I’m so sorry for your loss.” She gave her a hug and she gave a tearful nod. “We have food and tea. And coffee of course for everyone. Come and relax for a while.” We all pulled up chairs around the table and Isabel even sat down and let Farlan and Jean bring out the rest of the drinks.

A knowing silence fell over the group and Isabel picked up her glass with a soft smile.

“I’m going to make a toast.” I raised my eyebrow at her. “Let’s toast to Eren’s speedy recovery! And that he wakes up really soon!” Everyone toasted and smiled.

“Especially so Levi can stop looking like a hobo!” Hanji added. My eyes went wide as I stared at her.

“WHAT?!”

“You look pretty rough Big Bro…”

“A fucking homeless person though?!”

“A little sleep and a shave could help…” Armin suggested. I rubbed my face. Shit…when was the last time I shaved. A couple days ago maybe. Not my fault my mind had been preoccupied.

“It’s still a treat to see you without eyeliner!” Isabel joked.

“More like scary!” Erwin added. “I can count the number of times I’ve seen Levi without eyeliner on…well both hands now.”

“Okay, okay. I get it…” I frowned and looked down at my mug of coffee.

“Levi’s got it rough right now guys! Leave him alone.” Marco suggested with a warm smile. I’m sure all of you would look as tired and worn out if something similar happened. Thank you freckled Jesus.

“Well, both of you know-“ Isabel started again. “We are all here for you. Antieku is a family. Levi, Mikasa. You are both a part of it. And it reaches out further than a little coffee shop. It’s got us five at the center.”

“Soon to be six!” Farlan chimed in.

“Farlan, myself, Levi, Eren, and Jean and it reaches out. Armin, Erwin, Marco, Mikasa-“ You are all part of our little family. We love you all and….it hurts us when any of you are hurting. We are always here for you guys, not matter where you are. Just know that.”

I nodded and Mikasa took my hand.

“Thank you.” She smiled as tears dripped down her cheeks. “M-My only close family left is…he’s…” I wrapped an arm around her as she started to sob and I couldn’t help but feel my heart break all over again. Tears wormed their way out of my eyes and dripped down into the long raven hair. “To know that I have a family here…it really really helps.” Mikasa said with a nod.

After a few minutes to regain our composure, we starting drinking cold coffee and tea and eating the snacks Isabel and Farlan had prepared for us. When was the last time I’d eaten an actual meal and not something that was forced down my throat by someone else? I sighed as I slipped a cracker into my mouth. Hanji tapped my shoulder.

“Levi…we need to go soon.” I nodded and we thanked Isabel and Farlan again. Jean left with us, to pay his respects and Isabel and Farlan opened Anteiku back up to the public.

 

 

We arrived at the funeral home 15 minutes before visitation was supposed to start. There was some generic piano music playing in the background and I stuck by Mikasa’s side as we walked into the room. I knew family would be on her in an instant, so I avoided being too close, since they’d be hugging her and pulling her away anyways.

“Mikasa baby- I’m so sorry!!!” I frowned, but stayed back, ready to link arms with her if she needed it. I heard whispers around the packed room. Rumors. We slowly made our way to the front and I stood behind her as she went up to say goodbye to her Dad. I couldn’t look at the man. Not after what he did. Everything he’d called Eren. The way he’d touched him.

“L-Levi!” Then she cried for me. She fucking cried for me and leaned over the casket and I couldn’t stay back. I closed the distance between us and pulled her against my side, allowing her to rest her head on my shoulder and cry. “W-Why did it have to be like this?!”

“Sometimes…sometimes we can’t control fate.” I said lowly as I looked over the man that had greatly altered my own life. “Sometimes…fate just throws you a curve ball and you have to decide what to do with it. You can either take it as an opportunity, or you can let it destroy you. Eren’s always telling us to fight for what we believe in, so you know what he wants.” She nodded as tears poured down her cheeks.

“I’ll become stronger. I promise. This is just so hard.”

“I know. But we are all here for you. We aren’t letting you do this alone. No way in hell.” She nodded against me and I pulled her away from the casket towards the front seat, but before we could sit down, a fairly rich looking woman approached us.

“So tell me Mikasa, where is the snotty son that Grisha complained about all the time? Too good to show up for his own father’s funeral?” She burst into tears and Armin ran forward to take her into his arms as I took a step forward.

“I think we should discuss this outside.” I whispered with venom in my voice.

“NO. I don’t think so. This whole room is wondering where Eren Jaeger is. Tell us. He was a drain on Grisha. And now he’s not even here. Erwin was behind me in an instant and I shook my head. I was astounded.

“H-How…how do you not know?!” I was fuming by this point. “The reason Grisha is dead in the first place is because his own anger got the better of him!” Her face turned into one of rage and I felt Erwin put his hand on my shoulder. “He abused Eren ever since Carla passed away! But everyone was too blind to see that!” Faces in the room fell and there were a few gasps.

“I don’t believe you!”

“I took Eren! I took him away from that! I held him at night while he had panic attacks! I went with him to therapy sessions as he learned to trust people again, because of THAT man.” I pointed to Grisha. “And when he finally found him again at graduation, he followed us home and started threatening Eren! He went to hit Mikasa, and Eren threw himself in the way!”

“It’s not true!” She was crying now and I was nearly screaming. I was pissed.

“It is! Eren took the hit! He gained the strength to stand up to his abuser and you know where Grisha’s anger landed them? With Grisha dead and Eren in the intensive care unit. That’s why Eren isn’t here you stuck up bitch. If there’s a reason to miss a fucking funeral, I’d day that’s one. Now go sit down!” She stormed out of the room and the rest of the room stared at me. “ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?!”

“Yeah! Who are you?” I rolled my eyes.

“Levi! Levi Ackerman.”

“How do you know the Jaeger’s?” One lady said. I looked her dead in the eyes without flinching.

“I’m Eren’s boyfriend. Now can we PLEASE get on with this?” There were a few more odd looks and eventually everything settled back down.

 

The next couple of hours were spent with me getting either hugged or insulted, but never leaving Mikasa’s side. We stood outside for the last part of the funeral, under the bright sunny skies and my phone started to vibrate. It was the hospital.

I nudged Erwin to take my place as I stepped to the side.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Ackerman?”

“Yes?”

“We tried calling Mikasa Ackerman, but the line was off. You are the next contact on the list. We are about to remove the drainage tube from Eren’s brain.” My heart thumped.

“W-What?! WHY?!”

“Calm down sir. It’s a good thing. His levels have been staying steady over the last day and a half and he hasn’t had any excess fluid. His swelling is going down. It’s safe to take it out now.” I let out a sob and a sigh of relief at the same time. “I-I can I see him?!”

“The procedure should only take 30 minutes or so, and then a few minutes to clean him up, but after that, yes. He will probably still be asleep for a while. It’s not like removing the catheter will wake him up, but it’s very good the swelling is going down. We’ll take him for a scan right after to see just how much.”

“THANK YOU! I’ll be there soon!”

“Mikasa, they are taking out Eren’s catheter.” She smiled and nodded.

“I’m fine, Levi. I know you want to go to him.” I wiped my eyes and shook my head.

“But-“

“Erwin. Take Levi to Eren. A-Armin will stay with me, right?” Armin wiped his eyes and nodded.

 

Before I knew what was happening, we were driving back to the hospital. I had a cigarette in one hand and my phone in the other. Nervously awaiting a call from the procedure going wrong. Luckily I didn’t get a call, and Erwin gave me a wave as I rushed through the main door and into the ICU. I was greeted by an empty room. My stomach sank.

“W-wheres?!” I heard wheels behind me and I turned to see them bringing him in. I sighed and tears started running down my cheeks.

“Look!” The nurse joked to Eren. “Your sweetheart beat you back to the room.” He had already regained some color. He looked tan again, even some of his pink undertones had returned to his skin. He had a bandage wrapped around his head, and a couple of the IV’s were still in, as well as the ventilator, but he was there in front of me breathing. She wheeled his bed into place and adjusted a few things before I pulled my chair up to his side.

“Eren…” I kissed his hand, then each finger. “I love you.” The nurse smiled as she wrote down his vitals.

“He groaned earlier.” My eyes went wide.

“W-what?!”

“The doctors say it means nothing when they do that, but…I think it gives people hope. A little something to cling to.” She smiled again and hung the clipboard up. “I’ll be outside if you need anything.”

“You’re getting stronger babe.” I kissed his fingers again and leaned my head against the edge of his bed. I was so thankful. So thankful to be one step closer to having him back. My eyes shut and I snuggled closer to his arm. I’ll just shut my eyes for a moment…

 

Eren’s POV

_The last thing I remember was Levi giving me that stern look as he changed into his suit. We had to do this today, or we would miss our chance. I was ready for this, but… he was still hurt. Not at the top of his abilities and that scared me._

_Then at some point we had cornered Annie, the girl Armin had claimed to be the female titan and I didn’t believe him. I was foolish. So foolish. I had transformed and went crazy, and now here I was, memories rushing through me as I chased after the blonde titan. I pinned her to the ground and just as I hesitated to rip her out, she crystalized._

_I couldn’t quite find the strength to pull myself out of my titan and it was smothering me. So hot. Hot hot hot. Then I heard 3DM gear and the sound of blades draw. I was being sliced out and pulled free. A familiar scent closed in around me and I threw my arms around Levi. I was terrified but thankful._

_“Your leg-“_

_“Fucking suicidal idiot! You almost got yourself killed!” He growled at me, but sunk his head against my neck nonetheless. His arms wrapped around me and before I knew what was happening my thoughts were fading in and out and all I could feel were Levi’s arms._

_“Jaeger…” I opened my eyes to see a green cloak fluttering by an open window. This definitely wasn’t Levi’s room. “You need to be more careful.”_

_“Says the one who went off of bed rest.” He raised an eyebrow and me and shook his head._

_“You little brat…” He sat in the chair by my bed and leaned over the edge, taking my hand into his. “But seriously…try to be more careful…I want this to last. I really do love you.” The sun was shining in on both of us and he laid his head down on the edge of the bed, looking up at me with a soft smile. A soft breeze blew through the window and tousled his hair just slightly, and he brought my hand to his lips to kiss it._

_“I’ll be more careful. I don’t want anything to happen to either of us, Levi. To this.” I smiled at him and he nodded, before shutting his eyes and resting. He had probably been up for days without sleep, so a nap could definitely do him some good. I moved my hand from his to rest in his hair. In those raven locks I loved so much with the well maintained undercut. My Levi. All mine. My Captain. I stroked his hair as he dozed. My Captain that would protect me in this world. My Levi that would protect me always._

 

 

Captain…. I stroked at his hair to find it…what?! Where…Where was I?! I looked down…Oh… That’s right… I was asleep…but everything…it all felt so real.

Levi was asleep next to me. His hair…I ran my fingers through it again. I was chopped off and short where it should be long. A weird smell drifted around him, almost like cigars, and the longer I looked at him, the more exhausted he appeared. He had stubble and no eyeliner. I tried to swallow, to breathe normally, but I was on some kind on a machine. One of which alerted a nurse.

“OH! Mr. Ackerman!” She shook Levi awake and he shot up, nearly falling from the chair. I had tears in my eyes. I was terrified to be honest. All the lines and machines running from me were horrifying and the last memories of my Dad were flooding back. Holy shit. I reach my hand out and Levi captured it.

“Babe, it’s okay. Stay calm. I’m here.” I blinked slowly as they began removing the ventilator and even shut my eyes so Levi could calm me. His fingers brushing against my scalp were welcomed and they were oh so gentle. I held onto his hand for dear life. Levi was my lifeline right now, my Captain to guide me in both worlds. And I would willingly follow him anywhere.

 

Levi’s POV

Eren was awake. He was fucking awake. I was sobbing. He was crying. Fuck. Was he in pain?! I wanted to ask, but I didn’t want to overwhelm him, so I just stroked his scalp gently, just assuming that he woke up terrified of his surroundings. He whimpered. He fucking whimpered and it shattered my heart. Eren made a sound.

“Eren. Eren. Listen to me. You’re safe.” I leaned over trying my best to stay out of the nurse’s and doctor’s way. They pulled out the hose and he gagged but looked at me with tear filled eyes. “I’m here. I love you so much Eren. More than words can ever explain.” He gave a small nod and opened his mouth.

“T-too…Hnc-“ His hand went to his throat and he grimaced.

“It’s okay. Shhhh….” He blinked those gorgeous turquoise eyes and I swear I fell in love all over again. The nurse came over to take his vitals and he flinched away.

“It’ll be a while before he can speak. His throat will be sore. Try to have him drink some water thought.” I nodded and brushed his cheek.

“Let her cheek you over, babe. They need to make sure you are okay.” He swallowed, a painful look creeping over his face but nodded, trying to relax against the pillows.

“We are going to increase your fluids.” He nodded and I sat down on the edge of his bed. He struggled to get closer to me, body not wanting to move yet, and I caught him.

“Careful, careful. You just woke up. Your body won’t want to move all at once, Eren. Just rest for now. I’m not going anywhere.”

“-vi…” I buried a kiss in his hair and hugged him closer to me. He remembered me. Eren remembered me. I wouldn’t know how much he remembered until he could speak or how severed the damage was, but it was something.

“Shhhh, rest your throat, love. I’m right here.” I took out my cellphone and dialed Mikasa. “Hey, Eren’s awake.” I heard a cry, followed by sobs and an agreement to be here as soon as possible. “I’ll get Erwin to pick you up.” I called Erwin next, all the while stroking Eren hair and shoulder, keeping him calm.

“Mikasa is on the way.” He nodded and his hand went up to his head. A groan escaped his lips and he pushed against me. “What’s wrong, Eren?” He shook his head and looked at me with sad eyes. “Are you hurting?” He nodded and kicked his leg against the bed. Fuck. I hot the call button and the nurse ran to his side.

“Sweetie, where does it hurt?” Eren pointed to the spots and she nodded, running back in with the doctor.

“The MRI was clear, no drainage needed, so it’s probably a residual headache from the accident. We’ll give you something to take the pain away.” Eren whimpered as another wave crashed through him.

“Le-AGHH!” His voice was hoarse, like he’d been screaming for days and it cracked when he tried to speak. He shook his head, but I pulled him back against my chest.

“Shhhh… babe, relax. You’ll feel better soon. The pain will go away.” Tears were rolling down his cheeks. My heart was breaking. Eren was awake, but he was hurting. How much of this was going to be permanent? “Look. Can I kiss you here?” He turned towards me as I planted a kiss on his jaw.

“Le-vi…” his whispered it, and I pressed another one. He cried out as the new medicine ran into his veins from the IV bag, and pulled closer to me. I pressed a kiss even closer, hitting the edge of his lips this time, trying my best to distract him.

“Don’t talk. I love you, Eren.” He nodded instead and reach for my hand, in that instant I saw his movements were weak and sluggish. But hell, anyone waking up from a coma would be like that. I placed one last kiss, this time right on his lips and he smiled through the tears and pain. It was only a few minutes before the medicine had an instant effect and he was sleepily stroking my chest, dozing off against me. “Rest. It’s fine. I’m not going anywhere. ”

“Hmmm….” I buried another kiss in his hair and finally he shut his eyes, dozing off against me.

“Levi!” I looked up to see Mikasa running into the room. I put my finger up to my lips. I pointed down to my dozing brunette curled up against me. She looked confused, but she stepped closer.

“Sleeping…”

“He’s…he’s awake though?” I nodded and pressed another kiss into his hair.

“He’s awake.” I couldn’t help the sigh of relief or the sob that was building up inside me. “He’s…He’s…” I couldn’t hold back. My tears burst out and sobs started rolling through me, shaking my body. “He’s finally-“

“vi…” I looked down to see Eren staring up at me and I wiped my tears away. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

“Sorry babe. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He shook his head and rubbed at his eyes. He scooted closer to me, as much as his body would allow him to move.

“W-why?” That simple word made me cry harder.

“I’m just so glad you’re awake, Eren. It’s been hell without you. These last few days…” I rubbed at my eyes and he sank against my chest, nodding as he looked up at me. “I missed you so bad. You are my light in this cruel world, babe. I love you so much and…and I just didn’t know when you’d wake up, or-or what would happen-I was so scared.”

“Mhmm.” He nuzzled my chest and I could feel his warm breath against my skin, right where my v-neck cut down. Eren was here with me, awake and bright eyed, breathing right against me. “m’ fine.” His voice was barely a whisper, but I heard it and I nodded, hugging him right against me.

“Eren…” He glanced up at Mikasa standing by his bedside and at the tears pouring from her eyes as well. “I’m so glad…” He smiled sleepily and reach for her hand.

“Kasa…” he whimpered as his other hand flew to his head again. His eyes screwed shut and he pushed against me a little. “NNN.”

“Babe, still in pain?” He nodded and gave Mikasa’s hand a squeeze. I pressed the call button and the nurse came in. “He’s still hurting.” She frowned and checked the IV’s, before calling in the doctor.

“We’re going to take him for tests. You can wait for him here.” His eyes went wide and he clawed at my shirt, ducking his head against me. Tears were pouring freely and his legs were slowly moving against me.

“Shh, babe. It’s okay. They have to figure out what’s wrong.” He shook his head and sobbed.

“D-Don’t-hk.” His voice cracked and he looked up at me. “Lea-ve.” It shattered my heart into a million pieces but I had to let him go. I had to encourage him to go get the tests done. Even if it meant breaking my promises to stay.

“Eren, we have to let you go. It’s important.” He choked out another sob and gripped my shirt.

“S-cared…” I buried a kiss in his hair, breathing in his familiar scent. “Le…vi..”

“I know, but you have to be brave. Okay? You can defeat this, Eren. We can fight this together.” _We’ve defeated bigger beasts together. Monsters 10 times our size. We are a team._ He nodded and I tried to dry his tears. I gave him a minute to calm down, before I climbed out of bed. “Look, here’s Captain, he’ll watch over you while I can’t.” I tucked the plushie into his arms with a warm smile. Mikasa kissed his cheek and smiled.

“Y-your my-“ He coughed, voice sounding even more rough now. He really needed to rest it. I frowned and stroked his cheek. “Captain.” My heart thumped and I looked at him and smiled.

“Yes, Eren. So what I say goes, right?” He nodded and I tucked the blanket over him a little tighter. “So my orders are, go for your tests and try to be brave. We’ll be waiting right here when you get back.” He went to open his mouth but I raised a finger to stop him. “And- Rest your voice. Your throat needs a break.” He nodded again, and they started unlocking the wheels on his bed. “I love you Eren.” I pressed a kiss to his lips and he kissed back gently, smile tugging at the edges of his lips.

“Mhmm.” I waved for him and collapsed in the chair as soon as his bed was out of sight. Mikasa’s arm was around my shoulder and I just shook my head.

“It’s been one hell of a day.” She admitted.

“Levi!” Hanji burst through the door. “Mikasa! You’re here too!” I looked to Hanji and she was dripping wet.

“Hanji, why are you-“

“It’s raining! I ran here!” I raised my eyebrow and she walked over to us. Erwin followed behind her, attempting to dry her flailing arms with paper towels.

“She could have asked me to pick her up, but…” Erwin rolled his eyes and smirked. “I went to get a decent cup of coffee and found her right in front of the hospital. Hanji just shrugged.

“SO HOW IS HE?!” I smiled softly and felt tears well up again. FUCK. I put my face in my hands and leaned over.

“He’s a little overwhelmed…” Mikasa stated, patting my back. “Eren is awake, he seems okay. He’s in a little pain.” My shoulders shook as I cried and I wished. I just wished that everything was back to normal. “They took him for tests just a minute ago.”

“Oh, Levi! He’s awake! It’s what you’ve been hoping for!” I could hear the excitement in her movie and I was torn between sobbing in joy and ripping my own heart apart because he was in pain.

“H-He’s hurting…”

“But he’s ALIVE.”

I’m more than thankful. But I still don’t want to see him in pain. I-It tears me apart.” I looked up at my friends as I attempted to wipe the tears from my face.

“Come on, let’s take you outside. Get some air. “ Hanji suggested.

“I’m not leaving. I told him-“ Hanji tugged my sleeve.

“A 10 minute break isn’t going to hurt. Now.” I sighed, giving up the little strength I had to fight and giving in to her demands.

“I’m staying here.” Hanji flung me at Erwin and I raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll stay here with her! It’s cold outside! You two go.” Hanji said with a grin as she snuggled into my chair. I nodded and walked down the hallway with Erwin. We made the long walk to the front of the hospital and ran through the rain into the small gazebo that was used for smoking. I pulled out my pack and lit one, leaning against the railing. I sniffled back a stray tear and looked down at my feet.

“Levi…” I looked over at Erwin. “I didn’t mean to upset you earlier.” I nodded and brought the cigarette up to my lips.

“It’s okay. I know you were just looking out for me.” I flicked my cigarette into the ash tray, just giving up on it entirely and drawing my attention to Erwin. “Eren is…he’s my everything. He’s…”

“I see how he’s made you Levi.” My eyes went wide and I took a step closer. “That kid has made you smile and laugh more than I ever have. He’s perfect for you. He really is your soul mate and I’m glad that you two found each other. I’m more than glad that Eren is out of his coma and seems to be doing fairly well. The pain may just be temporary. Even if it’s not, I’m sure you’ll help him through it, Levi. You two love each other too much to let something like that get in the way of your relationship.” I choked out another sob. FUCK. When would these fucking tears end? I was so tired of crying. So tired in general. Erwin’s arms wrapped around me and I leaned into his embrace. He was so much taller, but I just brushed it off. I let my tears leak onto his shirt, knowing very well he didn’t give a shit.

“He’s going to be fine.”

“Absolutely, Levi. And you two are going to run off to Japan together and draw your dirty manga and he’s going to paint and you’ll be away from this place. You’ll be happy. You can be your own little family.” I pulled myself closer to Erwin as another sob ripped through me.

“I want to be with him. I love him so much. I want to marry him, Erwin. I don’t want to ever be with anyone else! What if I’m a shitty husband?! What-“

“Shhh…” He rubbed circles on my back.

“I already let him down once and look what happened!”

“Levi, this was out of your control. Look at the opportunities this opened for you. Eren’s asshole of a father is out of the picture now. That ever fearful presence is gone. Completely. Sure it’s going to take time for that wound to heal. Time for BOTH of you, but he won’t have to be scared anymore. You can finally move on.” I nodded and sniffled.

“Y-You’re right.”

“Eren loves you, Levi. He trusts you and I can see the way he looks at you. It’s the same way you look at him. With utter adoration. The same way soul mates SHOULD look at each other. As long as you have that bond, that love, things will work out.”

“I…I trust your judgement on this one, Erwin.” He gave my back another pat before pulling away.

“And you should! I’m wise!” he cracked a smile and I shook my head.

“ERWIN!!!” I turned my head to see Armin running towards us, followed by Jean and Marco.

“Hey!” He hugged Armin around his waist and kissed him on top on the bright blonde locks. “Why are you out here?”

“Just needed some air. We’re heading back inside though. Right, Levi?” I nodded and the five of us started inside, back towards the ICU. We made it just in time. I barely had time to lean against the wall before they were wheeling in Eren’s bed. He looked pale and he was leaning on his side.

“Sorry it took so long! Cutie here didn’t want to drink the contrast.” Eren frowned and looked over to me. I took his hand in mine.

“Were you causing problems, Eren?”

“Hmmm…” He groaned and I ran my fingers through his hair. For the time being, they let the whole group into the room. Jean and Marco sunk back into the corner, along with Erwin and Armin. Hanji and Mikasa stayed by the window, and I was next to Eren’s side on the opposite side. “Don’t-“ he gagged and my eyes went wide. I shot a look to the nurse. “Feel g-good.” I grabbed a trashcan just in time and lifted him up gently as he emptied the vile pink contrast gunk into the trashcan…and partly on my shirt. Shit… He heaved a second time and I was sure to hold back his bangs and the ties to his hospital gown. I stroked his back and the nurse ran in with towels and water.

“I guess it was too much on his empty stomach…” He had tears streaming down his face as he pulled back. I sat the trashcan aside and started wiping his face off with the wet washcloth. He coughed a few times and I gave him a few sips of water.

“Small sips babe. That’s it.” His eyelids fluttered and the nurse started cleaning around us. Eren held onto me as I wiped his face down and dried him off. “I’ve got you. It’s okay.”

“S-sorry. I’m-“

“Shhh…You need to rest your voice. Remember?” He nodded and I pressed a kiss next to his eye. “I’m here to take care of you.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The doctor came in and walked up to Eren’s side.

“Mr. Jaeger. We looked at your scans. There’s no bleeding. Just a little bit of remaining swelling, which is still going down. And here- “He put the image on the light board as we all looked at it. “This area took quite a bit of damage. I don’t think it will affect your memory or anything but…” Eren squeezed my hand and I rubbed my thumb over his hand. “There is a nerve here that took some damage. Only time will tell if you keep getting these headaches. The good thing is we can manage it with medication. For now we’ve narrowed the pain down to a mixture of residual swelling and the nerve damage, before you are release it should be decreased just to the nerve pain. Hopefully within a few more weeks to a couple of months the pain will go away completely. The medication should help manage it though.” He blinked and nodded, giving me a look.

“His throat’s still sore.”

“I understand. Considering the force of the trauma, this was an outstanding outcome. You are a miracle, Mr. Jaeger.” He nodded and nuzzled my hand. “If you have any questions, my name will be on the report. I’ll have the nurse bring in the medications for you to start in IV form, as well as a nausea medication.”

“Thank you.” A few moments later, the nurse came in and started hooking up new medications.

“Eren, I think we’ll head out.” Armin said as he held his hand. “We’ll be back to visit tomorrow.” He nodded and smiled, before waving. “We love you, Eren.”

“Too…” He gave Eren’s hand a squeeze and after Mikasa gave him another kiss on the cheek, the all waved to me. No way in hell I was leaving him. They’d have to get security to pull me out.

“Mr. Ackerman…” I turned to see a nurse standing in the doorway. She had a pillow and a blanket in her arms. I smiled gently as she offered it to me. “I wasn’t going to bother asking you to leave, because I know you would refuse. You two are so cute.” She grinned and I lay the blanket and pillow in the chair.

“Thank you. Really.” I smiled and she nodded.

“If you need anything, you know where to find me!” I leaned back over Eren’s bed and he reach for my hand.

“vi…”

“Rest.” I could see he was exhausted. Sleep was already tugging at him, probably fueled by the new pain medication. “You can’t get stronger if your body doesn’t have time to rest and heal.” He nodded and turned on his side to look at me. I pulled the covers up over him and made sure he was comfortable, and turned the light off before pulling my own chair close. I pulled my own blanket over me and pushed my pillow up against the side of his bed. Our fingers laced together and my other hand went to rub his hair.

“Dark…”

“Mhmm…it is a little. But I’m here, okay? I’ll protect you, babe. I’m right by your side.”

“Kay…” Turquoise eyes reflected back at me in the darkness and I pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Goodnight, Eren. I love you.”

“Mhmm.” He shut his eyes and almost immediately dozed off. I spent the next few minutes gazing at my no longer sleeping beauty. Eren was awake, and hopefully soon he wouldn’t be in so much pain. It put my mind at ease a little at least. I leaned against my pillow and relished in the warmth and slight movements of his fingers. My Eren. Now and forever.

 

 

 

 

“OUCH!” I sprung from my chair and nearly fell over trying to wipe the sleep from my eyes. Eren was whimpering. He had a white band around his arm and a needle plunged in it. Holy shit.

“I’m just taking some blood. Sorry! Must’ve pinched more than usual.” Eren frowned and leaned back.

“We were trying to let you rest.” Eren said with a soft smile. His voice. His beautiful voice. I swallowed hard and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

“You look tired, Levi.” Eren was frowning, and he grimaced as she pulled the needle out of his arm.

“All done! Thanks!” I sat down on the edge of the bed and took his hand in mine.

“I’ll get caught up on sleep eventually.” Eren sighed.

“Levi…what happened?” The question. The one I’d been waiting for… I sighed and stretched a little.

“Scoot over. It’s…it’s going to be a long story.” He nodded and moved over a little, sliding back against me. I brought his head down against my chest as I began.

“Where do you want me to start?”

“What happened after Dad tried to hit Mikasa? And…I’m sorry. I know this isn’t easy…This whole situation was hard for you.”

“That’s right when I walked out. I saw you push her out of the way and you took the hit. There was just a bunch of struggling and-“ My voice cracked and I took a deep breath. “You both fell back and hit the wall.” I swallowed hard. “I j-just saw blood. It was everywhere and I ran to you. I was screaming for you b-but you wouldn’t wake up, Eren…You just wouldn’t.” He hugged me tight.

“I’m so sorry, Levi.”

“Mikasa called 9-1-1. The ambulance came and…well…” I gave him a pitiful look. How was I even going to word this? How was I going to tell him that… I shook my head. “Then pronounced your Dad dead on arrival babe…” His eyes went wide and his mouth fell open.

“W-WHAT?!” Tears welled up in his eyes and with a couple of nods from my head, they started pouring. “WHY?! WHY LEVI?! Why why why?! Why did it have to turn out this way?!” He buried his face in my chest and sobbed. I couldn’t do anything but lay there and hold him as he cried. “WHY?! Why did he have to be so angry? Why did he have to hate me?! Why…why did he leave me feeling so guilty…”

“Don’t go there Eren.” I said it sternly and tilted his chin up so he could look into my eyes. “Babe, you have nothing to feel guilty about.”

“Levi, its my fault! If…it I hadn’t made him so mad. If…If I hadn’t been so different-“

“If I hadn’t made you stand on the porch for your surprise you wouldn’t have ended up in the hospital. Eren, we can’t control stuff like that. What you can control is being yourself and being happy. He could control being so angry and taking it out on you. That was utter bullshit and you know it. That was the kind of shit that ended up killing him. THAT’s what led to the accident. You just finally stood up for yourself. It was all self-defense babe.” He nodded.

“Y-You’re right. FUCK. You’re so right.”

“He may have killed you if you hadn’t stood up for yourself, or even hurt Mikasa.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen!” He twisted my shirt in his fingers and I nodded.

“Because you are STRONG! And you know what you want in this world.”

“I want to be by your side Levi. Always.” I nodded and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Nothing is ever going to change that babe. Ever.”

 

 

By mid-day, Eren was transferred into a regular room. We were both thankful for that because there were fewer room restrictions than in ICU. I sat on his bedside and played with his hair, looking at the bandage still wrapped around his head.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I looked at it. 12%...I should probably find a charger soon.

**Mikasa: I’ll be by this evening to visit. I’m lounging around with Marco today. He insisted on a movie day.**

I smiled at the thought. Marco was a great kind. Extremely sweet and kind beyond words. He would watch out for Mikasa.

**To Mikasa: Take your time and relax. Eren’s been resting quite a bit today. His new medicine has him in and out a lot. See you this evening.**

 

Eren’s eyes opened and he looked up at me sleepily, pulling his plushie closer.

“Good afternoon, sleepyhead.” Turquoise eyes blinked at me and he smiled gently, before grasping my hand.

“Sorry, I’m just so tired.” I shook my head and leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead, just below his bandage.

“Don’t apologize about resting.” He nodded and wiggled a little.

“Levi…I’ve gotta pee.”

“Are you feeling up to walking?”

“If you help…” I helped him sit up and he swung his legs over the bed. The doctor had Okayed walking and showering as long as someone was with him. I tightened my arm around his waist and he tugged along his IV. “Easy. Just go slow.” He held on to me desperately, and we even stopped halfway to lean against the wall for a break.

“I’m sorry…” He looked like he was agitated. Almost ready to give up.

“It’s okay. Give it some time. Breaks are alright babe.” I pulled him closer and he leaned his head against my shoulder. “We can just cuddle like this for a bit. You don’t have a problem with that, right?” He shook his head and leaned against me a little more.

“I’m so thankful for you, Levi. There hasn’t been a day where you haven’t been here for me.” I pressed a kiss into his neck.

“It’s because we were always meant to be, Eren.” My stomach twisted as I said it. All those years ago, who knew how long ago, his face flashed before my eyes. Vibrant turquoise just the same as here and now. The same warm skin, the same chocolate hair.

“C-Captain…” My heart thumped and I hugged him closer.

“W-What?”

“Heichou….” I swallowed hard and my fingers stroked soft circles on his neck. “I dreamt while I was in the coma Levi…I…it was another time, but….” He pulled back to look at me, hospital gown settling oddly around his neck. “We had the scout uniforms. We fought together. We…You saved me. We were together back then as well. It all seemed so real. Too real to be just a dream. I can remember ever detail…I…I don’t think it was just a dream.” His eyes were wet as he spoke and I nodded calmly.

“Eren…they…were they more like…memories.” His eyes went wide and a tear rolled down his cheek as he nodded.

“Y-Yes. That’s…that’s exactly….” I pulled him close and pressed my lips against his.

“I’ve been having the same dreams. That day at Sora-con. While you’ve been away from me…” I cried against his shoulder. “We were together then, Eren.”

“You really are my Captain?” I nodded and wiped his tears away.

“You’re my Shifter.” Just the little pecks on the lips weren’t doing it anymore. I brought our lips together again and finally tasted his lips. He let me in without hesitation, and our mouths moved together. Tasting each other. Claiming each other again. It’d been too long, way too fucking long. Eren was mine. He was mine when the walls fell and he was mine now. My tongue swiped across his and he let out a little moan, pressing closer still. I pulled back with one last lick of his lower lip and smiled. “I’ve missed you.” He was grinning, and I wiped the last remaining tears from his cheeks.

 

Eventually he did make it to the bathroom and back in bed. We’d decided that the person that created SNK in the first place must also remember. They must have the vivid dreams of times past. I sat there on the edge of Eren’s bed, trying to rub away the latest headache. They came in and changed out his IV bag, since we hadn’t noticed it ran dry. I was rubbing his shoulders, trying to get him to relax.

“Levi…”

“Mhmm?”

“Can I have a shower?” I frowned as I looked at his frowning face, scrunched up against the covers. “I feel gross.”

“Babe…” I stroked his hair. Sure the doctor said it was fine, but was he really up to that much stress on his body? “How about a bath instead? There’s a tub in there. I won’t have to worry about you falling as much.”

“That’s fine. Just as long as I don’t feel gross anymore.” I chuckled and nodded.

“Let me see if I can get you a new gown.” Luckily they’d already asked me to bring underwear for him a couple of days ago, so that wasn’t an issue. I returned, gown in hand and draped it over the sink in the bathroom. A nurse knocked on the door and walked over to Eren.

“Okay sweetie. Just need to disconnect this. We’ll start you back on your drip once you are out.” He nodded as she unhooked him from the IV. “Good to go. If you need anything, give us a shout!”

“Just one question.” I said before she left. “Am I allowed to wash his hair?” She frowned and looked at his chart.

“Yes, but you have to avoid a certain area. I’ll clip the bandages and show you. We’ll change them once he’s out and his hair is dry.” She returned with a pair of scissors and carefully clipped the bandages. My eyes went wide as the fell away, revealing two sets of stitches. One set of stiches was right where I expected it to be. Where the gash on his forehead was. The other was where the catheter had been. A part of head had definitely been shaved to allow for better access. As long as Eren was alive, that’s all that mattered. “The stitches on his forehead you can wipe clean. Don’t scrub or anything. But avoid this whole area. If I were you, I’d just wash from here below.” I nodded as she pointed to the back of his head. “It won’t be completely clean, but we don’t want that area to become irritated or infected.” She smiled and with a wave, left the room.

“Alright Jaeger, let’s get you clean.” I helped him to the bathroom once again, and had him lean against the wall as I stopped the tub up and began filling it up. I pulled off his hospital gown, being careful of his IV and tossed it in the floor. His cheeks turned pink and I smiled. “Already turning red on me?”

“I can’t help it…” I pulled his underwear off next and tossed it in the floor as well. I pulled him into my arms and VERY SLOWLY, helped him down into the water. “Hmmm….” His eyes shut as he sank down into the tub.

I began washing him, gently washing his face, and wiping over the stitches on his forehead. They were off center to the right and if it did scar, his bangs would hide it luckily. I carefully washed his hair next, using the generic hospital soap to do the best job I could at least. I scrubbed his skin, getting the last almost weeks’ worth of grime and hospital smell off of him. I was still gentle with him though as I cleaned, scrubbing his shoulders, down to the most sensitive areas and even down to his toes.

“Feeling better?” He was smiling now as I rinsed him.

“Much.” I started even cleaning under his nails and making him completely clean. Taking care of him in an way I could. “Levi…can I ask you a question?” I nodded as I rinsed his hand. “What happened to your hand? And…while we’re at it…why’d you get that haircut? It’d not like I don’t like it! But…just…curious.” I frowned as I looked at the fading cut across my hand. How many days had it been now? I began cleaning his other hand, being more gentle with this one, just wiping it to avoid shaking his IV too much.

“Let’s get you out and dried first, then I’ll explain. Okay?” With a nod, I pulled him out of the water and into a towel. He leaned against me, clearly worn out from the bath. I dried him off, and helped him dress. I helped him brush his teeth, and he put quite a bit of his weight against me as he did. He whimpered as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“Levi…I look…I have…” He touched the stitches on his forehead and frowned. “I’m going to have more scars…”

“And I’m not going to love you any differently, Eren. I love you with all my heart. Just the way you are. I’m fucking happy you are alive and standing here talking to me right now.” He nodded and pulled away from the mirror.

“I love you too, Levi.” I finally got him settled back into bed and after the nurse hooked his IV back in, and bandaged his head again, I went right back to playing with those brown locks.

“Okay, so…you have to not think any differently of me. Okay?” He looked at me with those eyes I loved so much, full of swirling colors. Teals, blues. Emotions flowing through him. “I had to leave you here one night. I was alone in the apartment and Hanji had suggested I try to cook and take my mind off of things.” I frowned at the stupid idea. Eren squeezed my hand. “Well I tried to make Nana’s pasta so I’d be able to cook it for you when you woke up…it just all went to hell. Somehow I ended up burning it because our paintings in the living room fell and broke. That’s how I got cut. I ended up…” I sighed and frowned. I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“Levi?” He urged me and I nodded.

“I broke my promise to you. I…I started downing the wine.” He frowned and I felt and arm wrap around me. He kissed my cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

“I forgive you. You were upset. It’s okay. We all make mistakes.” I nodded and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Well, I guess at some point I freaked out and chopped off my hair with scissors that night too. Sent them flying across the room along with the wine bottle. The apartment was trashed. Good thing Kirara was in her crate.”

“It doesn’t look so bad. It’ll grow back Levi. But-“ He ran his hand over my chin and chuckled. “This stubble needs to go. You look like a hobo.”

“Seriously?!” We heard a knock on the door and Mikasa, Armin and Erwin walked in. He was in his uniform, so he must’ve come straight from work.

“You two seem to be getting along well!” Erwin said with a grin. I nodded and looked back to my brunette. Feeling truly blessed to have him by my side.

“Well now that you guys are here-“ Eren said as he leaned over to press a kiss to my cheek. “Levi go home.”

“What?!” My eyes went wide as I looked at him. “But-“

“Go home and shower. Stop by Anteiku and have some coffee. I already text Isabel and asked her to make you something to eat, because you haven’t. I know you haven’t.” I frowned and held his hand. “You haven’t left my side and I’m beyond grateful, but you need to take care of yourself too, babe. Please?” He added a soft smile to his request and I couldn’t deny him.

“I guess I can’t say no.” I stood up and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Can you bring me the Trost hoodie?” He asked with a smile.

“Sure. Anything else?”

“A sketchbook maybe?”

“Anything for you, Turquoise.” One more kiss and I left the room with Erwin. Leaving the love of my life in the room with Armin and Mikasa. I’d be back. Hell, I’d probably rush through my shower and do a shitty job of shaving just so I could try to catch up on the time we missed together, because that’s just how much I missed him. The door shut behind us and I smiled to myself. Just a little while longer and Eren would be home. A few more days.


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter than the monster chapters I've been writing BUT XD Hopefully you'll still enjoy it! I broke it up for story flow purposes and blah blah blah
> 
> Song is Hold Onto Me-Placebo
> 
> <3 I read every comment and it makes my world go round!!! :D

Levi’s POV

The shower, to be honest, felt more than amazing. Stripping off the clothes since I’d had on since yesterday morning felt even better. I stood in front of the mirror and glanced at my phone, checking to make sure I didn’t have any calls. I just had one text. It was a picture message from Mikasa. I opened it to find a picture of the trio smiling at me. Eren looked tired, but he seemed happy.

**A picture or two before Eren takes a nap!**

I smiled at the picture and set my phone aside. I went to work shaving, getting rid of the stubble that Eren loathed apparently. I threw on a t-shirt and some jeans before grabbing the Trost hoodie for Eren. I packed a sketchbook and a set of pencils for him, before slinging my messenger bag over my shoulder. I glanced at the apartment once more before heading out. Soon the house would be filled with the familiar sound of Eren’s voice and the jingle of Kirara’s bell.

 

Eren’s POV

Levi leaving for a few hours tugged at my heart, but I knew he had to. He looked exhausted. As much as he wanted to be there with me, he also needed to take a break. He needed a shower. He needed to eat. He needed to have a cup of coffee and relax.

That kiss we had shared, those confessions about the dreams, about the memories. They did nothing more than make me want him to stay by my side, but Levi was already running on empty. I could tell by the smell of his clothes that he’d been smoking. He was stressed beyond belief and I was the cause of it. Mikasa gave my arm a pat and drew my thoughts away from the closed door.

“How are you feeling today, Eren?” Armin pulled up the extra chair in the room and set next to her. I cuddled my Captain plushie-my Levi plushie and smilied.

“I’m okay. Not in a lot of pain. The medication is helping. Just really tired.” Armin and Mikasa nodded in sync. “How are you guys? Holding up okay?” Mikasa swallowed hand and laced her fingers together with mine. Armin just smiled sweetly.

“It’s been…hard Eren.” She admitted. I nodded and gave her hand a squeeze as tears began to run down her cheeks. Armin reach her a tissue and I sighed.

“I’m so sorry for everything that happened…”

“It’s my fault Eren…If I hadn’t….If I had been able to stop him!” She had a death grip on my hand and I shook my head.

“That’s not true, Mikasa. He would have hurt you. Dad was too set in his ways. Too set in his anger. He would never let us be happy. Think about it.” She wiped at her eyes, but continued to shake her head. “He would never stand to let me be with Levi. He would have killed me, before he let that happen. And he was about to push you out of the way to do it!” She finally nodded and gave in.

“I-I thought I was going to lose you both! And mom…you guys are all I’ve had since…”

“I know. And I know it’s hard, but you have to be strong. You still have me. And you’ve got Armin and even Levi now.” She let out a cry and nodded.

“L-Levi…he’s a good man Eren. You’re so lucky.” She was sobbing now, tears breaking their way free. Armin looked like he was struggling at watching the unfolding scene in front of him. “He loves you so much. He really does.”

“I know. I’m so happy to be his.” I smiled gently at her as I wiped my own stray tears away.

“He helped me Eren. He helped me through the funeral. I leaned on him more than anyone else, and I know that probably wasn’t fair to him, but…” She frowned and shook her head in disbelief again. “But he was here. He didn’t leave my side until I asked him too, and that was because you were having a procedure done. I knew he wanted to be here for you.” I felt a few more tears run down my cheeks.

“Levi didn’t want to leave your side, Eren. He didn’t care if you could talk back to him or not. He was constantly here. The only reason he left was to help me plan the funeral and to go with us. He...he was there for me Eren. He…he stood up for you in front of the family. Practically screamed at Aunt Helen.” My eyes went wide and I took a tissue that Armin offered me.

“They were asking where you were and why you couldn’t be there a-and…Levi just went off. He told them everything. Said Dad was the one that put you in the hospital because of his anger. That you defended me, that…that you were abused.” I cried into the tissue and nodded. No one had noticed. No one in the family had spared us a single glance. They’d seen the same bruised Levi had. They’d seen the cracks in the walls. The beer cans. The bottles. The signs. Levi had come to my rescue. They hadn’t.

“They…did they say anything?” I wiped my tears away and looked at them both. Mikasa was wiping her own face and Armin was blotting his cheeks.

“They were just amazed.” Armin filled in. “They asked Levi who he was and he said he was your boyfriend.” My face went red and I leaned back against the pillows.

“SO NOW THE WHOLE FAMILY KNOWS?!” I laughed like an idiot and Armin snorted.

“What a way to break it to granny, huh?” Armin said with a smile.

“Granny doesn’t even recognize us.” Mikasa said with a shrug.

“Levi does things his own way. He’s really protective of me, but to be honest, I’m the same way.” I smiled and gave her hand a pat. “This is out chance to be happy Mikasa. We can finally be free from him. It’s okay to be sad. I’m feeling mixed emotions about this. I’m grieving the Dad I used to know and I’m hating the Dad that he turned into, but I’m still here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”

“Same goes for you, Eren.”

“And I’m here for BOTH of you!” Armin said with a smile. We hugged and wiped the rest of our tears. “Hey! Let’s take a picture! We’ll celebrate your recovery!” I nodded and smiled for the camera as Armin snapped the picture on Mikasa’s phone. We giggled as we took a second goofy photo and decided to send Levi the first. I yawned and relaxed back into the pillows.

 

“Good afternoon, Eren! Hello!” She waved at Mikasa and Armin. “The local vampire is back!” I groaned and looked down at my arms. One was taped pretty much from hand to elbow in bandages and IV lines. The other arm looked pretty much the same, with bandages running up my arms. Only my hand remained untaped. “We’re going to have to peel some of those, sweetie.” She looked at my arm and I frowned. “They’ve got you so taped up that I can’t get to any of your veins.”

“Levi tried to loosen a few in the bath, but he wasn’t sure which ones had just been done so…” She nodded and looked them over.

“Well they should all be fine now. You haven’t had any done since early this morning.” I nodded as she pulled on some gloves and started yanking off tape. I whimpered and pulled my plushie close.

“HMM-“ She pulled a good amount of hair off my arm, but at least my right arm was done…and purple. Shit…She moved to my left and started ripping tape and gauze there. I grit my teeth and help tight to the little Captain. “OUCH!” Three bandages and the industrial hospital tape came off at once. She ripped one more off and I sighed. Jeez… My skin was red and sore and I really didn’t look forward to more bloodwork. Screw that.

“Oooh, arms are in bad shape.” I frowned and watched her poked at my bruised arms. I grimaced and held onto the plush.

“Eren…” Mikasa stroked my cheek calmly and I nodded. I had to be strong. If I wanted out of here anytime soon, I had to stay strong and bare the pain.

“Looks like I’ll have to take from your hand today. Maybe your arms will be a little better by tomorrow.” I whimpered as she wiped my hand down with the alcohol pad. I looked away as she finished prepping it and jerked as she stuck me.

“Fuck…”

“OH…Damn…” NOT GOOD. She pulled it out and started rubbing my hand. “That didn’t work. Your vein blew.” My hand was throbbing and I cursed. “I guess we’ll have to try your arm.” I screwed my eyes shut. We heard the door open and Levi waved as he walked in, messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He frowned and walked to my side, dropping his bag in the floor.

“What happened?” He looked at my hand and my watery eyes.

“His vein just blew. I have to try his arm. I didn’t want to because they look so tender right now, but I don’t have a choice.” Levi grimaced as he looked at my hand. He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled me into his arms gently, my back against his chest. His cologne drifted around me and instantly calmed me, as did his warmth. I reach for his hand with my free one, and he easily grasped it, stroking it softly with his thumb.

“Try getting it right this time, huh?” He seemed pissed that she hurt me and she nodded seriously as she began wiping my arm. I could already feel how sore it was.

“Levi…”

“I know it’s sore. Just hang in there.” She wrapped the elastic band around it and I sunk further back against him. “Shhhh….” I whimpered at the pinch of the band and she began tapping on the vein, trying to get it to pop up. Levi was muttering soft assurances to me, kissing my forehead. I felt the jab and I jerked again, tears springing to my eyes.

“SHIT! Shit, shit shit…”

“S’ okay. I’ve got you.” He ran his fingers through my hair as I whimpered and cried like a baby. Levi was a first class boyfriend for putting up with my shit, and I was extremely thankful for him. She released the band on my arm and took a couple more vials before drawing the needle back. She taped me again. (GREAT) And muttered and apology as Levi kept stroking my hair. “You alright?” I nodded against him and choked on some tears. I felt a tissue glide over my cheek and I blinked.

“Levi…you are back early. Did you eat?” He frowned and pulled me closer.

“Don’t worry about me, brat.” I nodded and shut my eyes, trying to focus on his heartbeat instead of the pain in my arm. His fingers were in my hair, stroking gently, while the other rested on my shoulder. _Thrum thrum thrum_. Still beats the same as back then. That ever familiar _thrum thrum thrum_. Is that why it’s always been so therapeutic for me? I took a deep breath, then another…and another….

 

 

“Eren. Eren.” I cracked my eyes open to see Ciel staring at me….what? Oh…Levi’s shirt. I looked up and Levi kissed my cheek. “Babe, it’s dinner time.” I nodded and sat up. Mikasa and Armin were gone.

“Where did they go? I didn’t mean to doze off-“

“They’ll be back tomorrow. Well Mikasa will. Armin and Erwin are stopping back by. They are going to bring me dinner.” I nodded and looked over at the tray on the table. “That’s yours though.” He slid out from under me gently and rolled the table over me, so it set above me. He uncovered it and my stomach churned. This was my first solid meal. Everything had really been a liquid diet up until now…well unless you consider jello a solid. “Smells good.” He shrugged as he opened my juice. I eyed the Salisbury steak suspiciously. I raised my arm to pick up my fork and immediately dropped it.

“FUCK.” I tried again and a pain shot through my hand. I looked away from the tray and I frowned, looking at my purple hand.

“Hurts?” I nodded as I tried to move it. Stupid vein. Stupid IV. Not like I could just switch hands. UGH. I was pretty much connected to the machines on the other side. I watched Levi as he sat on the edge of the bed and began to cut my Salisbury steak into pieces with the knife. He picked up the fork from where I dropped it and stabbed a piece. “Open up.” My eyes went wide.

“Levi-“ He smiled and tiled my chin up.

“Here. Eat.” I took the piece of steak from him and chewed it. My stomach fought the strong taste and I closed my eyes. “Try some water.” I sipped it and Levi wiped my lips with the napkin. It did a good job of soothing my aching stomach and accepted another bite, then a bite of mashed potatoes that really didn’t taste like potatoes at all. We heard a knock on the door and Erwin and Armin walked in, paper bags in hand. Levi smiled and I would have, but I was concentrating on not puking.

“Hey guys.”

“Hey! Dinner!” Erwin held up the bags. “We decided to join you, if that’s alright.”

“Sure. I’m going to finish with Eren first. The nurse fucked up his hand.” He grimaced again, closer to a look of murder and I frowned. He scooped more steak and potatoes onto the fork and offered it to me. My stomach was finally getting used to the solid food now, so I gladly took it. I finished off the potatoes, steak and mixed veggies, then Levi started feeding me the little bit of pudding they’d given me.

“Mhmm…” I licked my lips as he sat the spoon down with a smile. “Dessert?” I asked with a grin.

“You’re cheesy, Jaeger.” He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to my lips. I swiped my tongue over his bottom lip and he shivered. “Mmm…Chocolate.” He smirked as he licked his own lips and pulled away, wheeling the table away from my bed.

“Thank you, Levi.”

“No problem, babe.” He walked over to Erwin who was sorting through the mountain of food.

“Levi….chicken wrap, fries, coffee?” He nodded and collected his food, bringing it back to my bedside.

“Thanks guys.”

“Sure thing!” Armin and Erwin pulled up chairs on the same side as Levi, so I could just turn over a little and talk to all of them. Levi sipped his coffee and dug into his chicken wrap. “Isabel was a little pissed that you didn’t stop by.” Erwin said with a smile. I frowned as I looked at Levi. It was almost 7:30 and Levi was just now eating for the first time today?!

“I know she was pissed. I got her texts. I had to apologize.”

“Why didn’t you stop by?” I questioned him and he shrugged.

“That’s not really on my mind right now. You’re at the top of my list Eren.”

“You have to eat, Levi!” I scolded him and his head dropped.

“But I worry about you…”

“Levi, when’s the last time you ate?” I frowned as I watched him think.

“Aside from now…at Anteiku yesterday before the funeral…”

“LEVI!” he winced at my harsh tone. “You say you worry about my well-being? Guess what? I worry about you just as much! It tears me apart knowing you haven’t eaten or haven’t slept or showered. Especially because of me…” He looked up at me and frowned.

“But that’s-“

“It’s true! So promise me. Promise me you’ll care about yourself. Even if you have to eat the shitty meals here at the hospital with me, please eat.” He nodded sternly.

“I promise Eren…I didn’t think about hurting you. I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright…I just worry.” I gave him a soft smile and leaned over the edge of the bed a little to kiss him on the cheek. “It’s because I care about you.”

“I understand.” He took a bite of his chicken wrap and nodded. I knew he would keep true to his word, because I would force him.

“You guys fight like a married couple.” Armin said as he popped a chicken nugget into his mouth.

“DO NOT!” I said as my face turned red. Levi shrugged.

“You are pretty hard headed, Eren.”

“I’M hard headed?!” He smirked and sipped his coffee. Erwin just chuckled as we went on with our bickering.

 

 

“Eren, do you want to watch some TV?” I shook my head as I looked over at Levi. “Or maybe listen to some music together?” He pulled out his ipod, that only had one set of earbuds, just like he used to have and I smiled.

“Sure. That seems okay…” Levi sat on the bed after he shut off the light. I was in between his legs and pressed back against him.

“I’ll just stay like this until you get tired, alright?” I nodded and leaned my head back against his shoulder. He popped the earbud into my ear, and music started playing. Just loud enough, not so loud to startle me.

 

_Who let the cat out of a bag?  
Who told the world I was older?_

I looked out the window and watched the clouds pass over the pale moon. I was still confused about so many things. How did our past lives work? I knew Levi was mine back then, but… He kissed the top of my head and pulled me closer. The rest of that thought drifted away. All that matters is that Levi WAS mine back then. That we were as close now, if not closer then we were then.

 

_Who laughed at all I had?  
Who said the race was over?_

He was careful, so very careful with my hands. Any touches, if any were light and timid almost. My left hand, which was the one with the blown vein, he gently took into his own in the dark and brought it up to his lips. Pressing a tender kiss to it and to each finger.

 

_I am a small and gentle man  
Who carries the world upon his shoulders_

He placed my hand right back on the bed and I shut my eyes, letting my mind drift. I could feel Levi’s heart beating against my back. It was subtle, but it was soothing. I felt him lean over and press a kiss to the crook of my neck and I whimpered. I’d expected the brush of his bangs, but… instead I only felt lips, but I can’t say I was disappointed by that.

 

_Kindly lend a helping hand  
Come over_

Home. Levi’s arms were my home and there was no question about that.

“Eren…” I twisted a little so I could see his eyes, shining silver from the little bit of moonlight flowing into the room. “I love you.” I smiled and leaned my forehead against his easily. My stitches were a little sore, but I really didn’t mind.

“I love you too…”

 

 _And hold on to me_  
Hold on to me  
And hold on to me  
Hold on

I saw him smile in the darkness as he brought our lips together. A sweet kiss at first, then it turned deeper. We were savoring the moment. Savoring the kiss. Levi was holding onto me, running his tongue over my lips, my tongue, even the corners of my mouth. I was breathless as he kissed me, eyes rolling back as he devoured me. It was a gentle consumption, softly licking and nipping every part of me. I moaned quietly into the darkness, leaning against Levi for support and feeling the familiar embrace around me as we kissed. Nothing else in the world mattered. Levi was my Prince. My Captain. He rescued me in that world and he rescued me in this one.

 

 _And my behavior is hard to understand_  
When I'm like a phone with no connection  
  


_But I'm still doing all I can  
To try and get me some redemption_

 

We pulled apart, breathless and warm from blushing and Levi’s hands roamed over my neck and chest. I felt myself drifting. I was a combination of exhausted and needy. I needy Levi. I needed more kisses, more touches, more of his taste and scent.

_And I'm knee deep in sinking sand  
Crying out for your attention_

 

“Levi…” I licked at his neck and he let out a sigh.

“Babe…maybe you should rest.” I hummed against his neck and he ran his fingers through my hair. Maybe my mind was a little fuzzy.

“Mmmm…may..be….”

“Eren?”

_Kindly lend a helping hand  
For once defy convention_

I turned a little in Levi’s arms, snuggling close to him. The music was still echoing in my ears, soothing me, along with the faint _thrum_ of Levi’s heartbeat.

“Eren, I need to get in the chair-“

 

 _And hold on to me_  
Hold on to me  
Hold on to me  
Hold on

 

I felt my thoughts drifting as my world got fuzzy. The darkness around me faded to navy and the last thing I remember is hearing a soft chuckle from Levi, and feeling him shift slightly under me.

“Night, love.”

 

 

 

 

“Got everything?” I looked to Levi and nodded as I checked the bag on my lap. It’d been a week since I was transferred from ICU. Incredibly, the doctor had announced that I’d recuperated insanely fast. I was taken off my IV’s yesterday and had started my regular medications to make sure I’d transition over okay. I hadn’t had any problems, aside from a mild headache at the beginning.

“Yeah, everything’s in here.” The nurse smiled at us as she wheeled me down the hallway. Levi walked by my side with his messenger thrown over his shoulder.

“You ready to go home?”

“More than ready!” I beamed at Levi and he smiled. Erwin was waiting for us in the car outside, and Levi tossed in his messenger bag, and my duffel bag, before helping me out of the wheelchair and into the back of the car. We waved to the nurse and Levi sat down in the back with me.

“Where to?” Erwin asked with a smile.

“Pharmacy, then home.” We dropped off my prescriptions, which for some reason would take 45 minutes to fill. Levi no doubt screamed at them. I could see the terror in the poor cashier’s face as he walked out of the store through the window.

“Fucking ridiculous…” He grumbled and crossed his arms. “45 minutes for a damn prescription.” He shook his head and I frowned.

“Maybe we can sit at Anteiku?” I suggested. Levi raised his eyebrow.

“Do you feel up to it?” I nodded and reach for his hand.

“If it’s just sitting, I’ll be fine.” He sighed in defeat.

“Fine. Erwin, is that alright?”

“When is coffee not okay?” He said with a grin.

We actually paid to park at a meter in front of Anteiku since Erwin insisted I didn’t need to be walking very much. As soon as we were out of the car, Levi’s arm was wrapped right around my waist, pulling me close. His hand was glued to mine and he was carefully watching as I walked. We slowly made our way to Anteiku, Erwin walking at a snail’s pace by our sides.

“Sorry I’m so slow. I didn’t think I’d be this worn out.” I admitted it as we reach the door. Erwin opened the door for us, and Levi helped me inside.

“HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!” A screech filled our ears and I flinched in his arms.

“It’s okay. Let’s get you a seat. ISABEL STOP!” Levi shot her a glare and she stopped in her tracks. “He needs to sit down.”

“OKAY!!!” Levi walked with me to the couch and we sat down together gently, with his arm still looped around my waist, sliding up a little to my back. “EREN!!! I’m so happy to see you!!!” She gave me a gentle hug and I smiled. “AND BIG BRO!!!” She hugged Levi too and he grinned. “Do you want drinks?” Erwin plopped down in the chair next to the couch.

“Just coffee.” He ordered.

“HEY JEAN!” Erwin chuckled and shook his head. Jean ran over with a notepad.

“EREN!!!” He hugged me and beamed at smile at the both of us. Jean looked exhausted to be honest, and that drove me to an obvious question.

“Are you okay, Jean?” His eyes went wide and his smile faded a little.

“Ugh…yeah, just a little tired…” He wrote down Erwin’s coffee order in his notebook and I frowned. “Do you want anything?”

“Just a lemonade.” Levi gave my hand a squeeze.

“I’ll have an iced coffee.”

“What flavor?” Jean asked as he scribbled it down.

“Caramel.” I frowned as I looked at Levi.

“LEVIIIII.”

“Babe, I don’t think coffee is a good idea.”

“CARAMEL.” I pouted and poked his thigh.

“Can you make him one with decaf?” Jean laughed and scratched out my lemonade order. Levi leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. “I hope that’s alright?” I nodded and a soft smile drifted over my cheeks.

“Aniki, I don’t mean to make this about business.” Isabel said as she scratched the back of her head and sat down next to Levi. “But… when do you think you two will be back to work?” Levi sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. It was odd seeing him do that, since it was cut shorter than usual, but it was still Levi. It was still cute.

“His recovery is my top priority right now.” I swallowed hard and looked over at the raven. Jean sat our coffees down, including Erwin’s and she nodded.

“Bro, don’t try to force too much on yourself or Eren. Take your time. Don’t try to push too hard. Anteiku will be here when you are ready. I’ll keep you on payroll.” She gave us a kind smile and I felt my eyes sting with tears. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay.

“I…I don’t want to go…” I dropped my head down and I felt Levi’s lips press against the side of my head.

“Just until you regain your strength. We have to get you back to 100%.” I nodded and wiped away the tears that were betraying my eyes.

“W-What will you do? Jean’s already exhausted. You’re pregnant. The baby-“

“Eren. Calm down.” Isabel took my hand and gave me a big smile. “We’ve got two people that already want to work here. They saw how tired Jean was and asked about it, so naturally I said I’d ask you two.” Levi nodded and I blinked.

“W-who?” I wanted to know our replacements. Even though we could come back, it’d still be nice to know.

“Marco and Mikasa.” My eyes went wide and I smiled.

“Really?”

“Yulp! Mikasa wants to work here. She wants to start fresh and its closer to Trost, so she can get here from classes easier.” I smiled and leaned against Levi as I sipped my coffee.

“Those are some worthy replacements, huh brat?” I nodded as I tasted the sweet caramel. I hadn’t had anything this flavorful since the box of pocky Levi had smuggled in for me a couple of days ago. A wave of pain shot through my temple and my hand went loose around my cup, dropping it in our laps and all over the couch in the process.

“Shit…” I held my head and leaned forward. I heard Levi set his own glass down as he wrapped his arms around me.

“Babe?” I shook my head and closed my eyes tight. Stop. Stop stop stop. This HAD to stop. I kicked my foot against the couch and shivered. “Eren, it’s okay.” He whispered to me, as the pain dulled slightly. Eventually I opened my eyes to the mess all around us.

“Levi…I’m sorry, I…I’m so so sorry.” More tears formed in my eyes as another wave of pain started. He pulled me close.

“No, no. Don’t apologize.” I cried out as I held my head.

“Hurts so bad.” He gently rubbed at the edges of my forehead, trying to relieve pressure.

“I know. It’s gonna be alright. We’re leaving as soon as we get you cleaned up to see if the medicine is ready.” I felt wet, sticky and gross and there was no doubt broken glass beneath my feet. Levi was blotting my leg with a paper towel.

“Don’t worry about the couch. We’ll get it!” Isabel said calmly. “Get the cutie his medicine. Call us if you need anything guys.”

“Thanks. Come on Eren.” I nodded against his shoulder and he lifted me to my feet. Slowly we were moving again, out the door and to the car. I vaguely remember Levi jumping out at some point to grab my medicine and he returned with a bottle of water and a bag. “Okay, here.” I looked at the bottle and blinked. He handed me two pills. One from each bottle and I took both, downing them with some water. “The doctor said take one of each as soon as we got it filled and two tonight, then from there on out the two in the morning and the two at night.” I nodded and rest my head against Levi’s shoulder. By the time we got back to the house, my eyes were getting droopy. Levi snorted as Erwin got out of the car to grab our stuff and I reach for Levi.

“m’ tired…”

“Are you?” I nodded and shut my eyes, letting my hands drop. “Can’t sleep here. Hold on to me.” I grabbed around his neck and he lifted into his arms.

“Levi….”

“Mhmm?”

“I love you…” he chuckled softly against me as he unlocked the door. I didn’t dare open my eyes. I didn’t want to see the steps, the porch. Any of it. I just whimpers against Levi and felt his lips brush against my neck.

“I love you too, Eren.” I heard Erwin piling stuff in the living room as we descended the stairs and I clung onto Levi.

“Levi…”

“Yeah?”

“Please…don’t leave…”

“I won’t. I’ll stay right by your side. Okay?” I nodded and wiped my new tears on his shoulder. This was overwhelming. Coming home was so…real. I was back in Levi’s arms. Back home. Back where I belonged. I opened my eyes as he placed me on the bed and unbuttoned my pants. He slid them down off my hips, along with my underwear and my face went instantly red. He ran into the bathroom and came back with a wet cloth to wipe off my legs. After all the coffee was wiped off, he helped me switch into new boxer briefs and he changed into new ones himself. We both stripped our shirts off and Levi plugged our phones into the chargers on the nightstand. Soon, we heard Erwin’s footsteps. Levi pulled the blanket up over me and stood beside the bed, stroking my scalp.

“Everything is in the living room. I’ll drop Kirara off tomorrow.”

“Thanks Erwin.”

“No problem. I’ll lock the door on the way out. See you later!” Levi waved to him and I smiled. After we heard the door shut and lock, Levi sat down on the edge of the bed.

“So, what’s the plan?” I blinked at him and yawned, reaching out for his arm.

“Anime?” He chuckled softly and stroked my bangs.

“What do you want to watch? We need to re-do the blue. It’s starting to fade. After the stiches come out and heal up of course…” I nodded and kissed his hand.

“Anything is fine.”

“Tokyo Ghoul premiered finally. There’s three episodes out. I didn’t even realize it. How about that?” I nodded and Levi turned on the TV, before settling in the bed with me. The clock said 5:15. It felt like 2AM. Why was I so exhausted? I heard the opening theme start and my eyes got heavy.

“Eren?” My eyes popped open and I looked at Levi.

“Sorry. I’m watching…” He switched to a different show, something he must’ve already been in the middle of and pushed me up against the pillows. “But Levi I-“

“Shhhh. No, you are resting your head on the pillows. End of story. I’ll still be by your side and wrap myself around you though.” He snuggled himself right up against my side and kissed my cheek. One arm wrapped itself around my chest, while the other went to rest a hand in my hair.

“Sorry about t’ Ghouls…”

“Hush…” He nuzzled my cheek and I felt myself drifting off. I held onto Levi and the world started to bend and twist around me, edging into navy instead of black. And I drifted into a world far into the past…


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren spend a little time together. AND a check up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs are  
> You're Not Alone- Saosin  
> Heroine-Sleeping with Sirens 
> 
> AND I want to wish a VERY Happy Birthday to one of my best friends!!! Neko_yuki_onna  
> You don't realize how much you inspire me and keep me going ;) 
> 
> Comments are awesome!! Enjoy everyone!!! :D
> 
> Also! The first person who guessed Levi's ringtone get's a cookie ;)

A few days later

 

“Eren. Eren. Babe, wake up. You need to eat.” My eyes popped open and I looked at Levi standing over me with a bowl of soup. I eyed it and my stomach churned before I turned away.

“Can I just go back to sleep…please?” He sat down on the couch with me and moved my legs a little.

“No. You have to eat before I take you to the doctor. Your appetite’s been shit lately.” I frowned and glanced at the bowl.

“Is that-“

“Yes. I made you wanton soup.” I gave Levi a small smile as he set the bowl on the table and pulled me into an upright position. He leaned against the arm of the chair and pulled me onto his lap, before he took the bowl back into his hands. “Now, eat a few bites for me.” I frowned at the thought but I opened my mouth. My medicine was making my headaches go away sure, but it was also making me exceptionally tired and making me not want to eat. Levi spooned some of the broth into my mouth and surprisingly my body didn’t reject it. It was flavored well, but so light that it stayed down. “There, maybe a little more?” I sipped on the broth and even ate 2 or 3 wantons before I started feeling queasy. I pushed the bowl away and Levi got the message. “You did good.” He kissed my forehead and got up from the couch.

 

_Darkness. No. Red. So much red. So much…fear? Terrified. TERRIFIED. Dad. Dad was there! But…But this was different! This was back then. Back in the time where Levi and I….where we were together. When we were strong! When we slayed titans together and we were part of a team to regain the walls…but…but why? Why was Dad standing over me? Where was my cloak? My straps?! Where was Levi? LEVI?!_

_I looked down and my legs were so…small. No…NO. I was a kid still. I tried to move away from him but he was crying. He had a syringe in his hand and he kept repeating. Crying. Repeating. And here I was trying to back away like a coward. Just as I did in the current times. LEVI!!! Strength NEEDS to save hope! I whimpered and he shook his head. He stuck me with the syringe and I cried out._

_“One day you’ll understand. One day Eren….”_

_I screamed. And screamed. And screamed. Levi…._

 

At some point I must’ve dozed back off, because I woke up to Levi shaking my shoulder gently. I was grasping his jacket that was laid over the arm of the couch. “We need to leave soon.” I rubbed my eyes and stood up carefully. I was a little woozy from my medicine, so Levi took my hand and led me upstairs. “Let’s just put a shirt on you. It’ll be fine.” I looked down at my plaid pajama pants, but my brain was too fuzzy to care. I clung to Levi as he dug through my drawer and slid a shirt over my arms. “Good to go.”

I grabbed Levi’s jacket on the way out, even though it was a warm 70 degrees, I just wanted to hide myself from the world. My self-esteem was at a non-existent level thanks to my butchered haircut and my nice set of stitches across my forehead.

Levi opened the door for me and we found Erwin’s car parked in the driveway with no Erwin inside. I hopped inside, wrapping Levi’s jacket around me tightly and he jumped in the driver’s seat.

“Erwin had to work, so he just left his car for us today.” I nodded and off we went.

 

Levi’s POV

We arrived at the doctor just in time. Eren clung to my hand as I tugged him to his seat. He looked like a zombie and to be quite honest, I was pissed. The doctor better be ready to here every word from me too.

“Jaeger.” I took his hand and pulled him back to the scale.

“From the day of the operation, he’s lost…15 lbs…Can that be right?” I nodded and Eren frowned.

“Probably. He was in a coma for a few days, and his appetites not been good.”

“Alright. I’ll write that down.” Eren was clinging to me more than usual and I pressed a kiss to his cheek. Turquoise eyes met mine and he nudged closer to me. She led us to a room and had Eren sit down on the exam table. “He’ll be with you in a bit!” Eren didn’t let go of my hand so I could sit down in the chair by the wall. He just looked at the floor and held on.

“Babe, what’s wrong?”

“Had a nightmare…well…it was about the past…” I frowned and wrapped my arms around him.

“S’ okay. I’m here. I know it seemed so real, but right here right now is what counts, okay? All that has been lived and it’s over. Just remember the good memories and push the bad ones away.” I pressed a kiss to his lips and he nodded. “We can talk about it if you want?” Teal eyes filled up with tears and he blinked.

“It was…Dad…he injected me with something and….and you weren’t there. I was little. I was screaming and….and I just…I couldn’t get away…I was so scared.” I hugged him tight and kissed the top of his head.

“He’s not going to hurt you anymore, Eren.” He nodded and hugged me tighter. “No one’s going to hurt you. Not if your Captain can help it, right?” He wiped at his eyes and smiled at me a little.

“Right. Thanks, Levi.” I smoothed his radical bed head out a little and nodded.

“Anytime babe.” The doctor walked in and cleared his throat behind us, so I took a few steps to the side, keeping a hold of Eren’s hand.

“So, Mr. Jaeger, how have you been feeling?” Eren frowned and looked at the doctor.

“Ugh…my headaches aren’t bad, but I’m really tired. I’m sleeping all of the time and I’m not really eating well.” He scribbled everything down on his clipboard and went to look over Eren’s incision.

“Everything’s healed up well. I think the stitches can come out. The medicine though…that’s an issue. I’m going to order an MRI and bloodwork, and we’ll see about switching you to a different medicine, BUT…” he scribbled down a couple of notes. “This one only comes in a liquid form. That’s the only option. He nodded and the doctor wrote out the prescription. “I think maybe there is a mild interaction with your other medication. You can pick them up after your bloodwork and MRI.” I frowned and took the prescription.

“So he won’t be a sleepy zombie after he gets the right medication?” The doctor chuckled and started putting on some gloves.

“No more zombie. It should all straighten out. It may take a couple of days to get out of his system though.” I nodded as he stuck his head out of the door to call in a nurse. They started wiping Eren’s head with an alcohol solution and I sat down on the exam table with him. Before he knew was happening, they were clipping the stitches in his scalp and pulling them out.

“EEEH.” He held onto my hand and I just smiled and stroked his hand with my thumb.

“It doesn’t hurt does it, Eren?” The doctor said with a grin.

“N-Not really…” I could feel his fingers trembling and I knew what was happening. It wasn’t about the slight tug in his scalp. It was about the proximity of the two strangers. He was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Eren-“ I switched hands, leaning closer to stroke his back with one hand and hold his hand with the other. “Deep breath.” He took a shaky breath and closed his eyes.

“He’s shaking. What’s wrong?” The doctor asked as he snipped another stitch.

“Panic attack.” Tears leaked from behind Eren’s eyes and he let out a gasp. “Shhhh. You’re strong Eren. You can do this. It’s okay.” He let out a gasp and the doctor and nurse gave him a worried look but continued their work. “How about a song? Huh?”

“S-Sure…” He took another shaky breath and I hugged him right against my side. The nurse’s arm was right in front of my face, but I paid it no mind. Eren needed me. I cleared my throat and turned my head towards his. I sung softly and calmly, hoping to soothe him just a little.

 

_It's just like him_

_To wander off in the evergreen park_

_Slowly searching for any sign_

_Of the ones he used to love.._

“Almost finished with the first set, honey.” She said with a soft tone.

“K-kay.”

“That’s it. Deep breaths. In. Out.” I rubbed his back and he nodded. I continued with the song and he shut his eyes again.

 

_He says he's got nothing left to live for_

_(He says he's got nothing left...)_

_And this time I think you'll know.._

 

They snipped the last stitch and moved closer, standing right in front of him. I gave his hand a squeeze and he tried to take another breath.

 

_You're not alone_

_There is more to this, I know_

_You can make it out_

_You will live to tell_

He whimpered as they started on the stitches on his forehead. I held him right up next to my side, trying to provide him with as much of my strength as I possibly could.

“Babe, just focus on the song. Focus on me.” He opened his eyes and looked at me with tears in his eyes.

“L-Levi…”

“Yes. I’m here. It’s okay. Focus on…I don’t know? How about a story instead of singing? I can always sing later?”

“Okay…” I gently wiped his tears away as they kept clipping stitches.

“Let’s see. Well remember my rebellious teenage stage I was telling you about?” The nurse looked me over and giggled.

“Looks like you haven’t grown out of it sweetie!” I grinned and continued on.

“Well, I used to have a little motorcycle I’d drive around on to piss my parents off. It was a piece of shit of course-“  


“OUCH!!” He yanked my hand and cried out.

“Sorry! It was caught. Just a few more left!” I rubbed his hand and continued trying to soothe him.

“C-color?”

“Huh?” I looked up at him and he took a breath and asked again.

“What color?”

“It was multi-colored. Like I said it was a piece of shit. Pieced together, but it was a way to get out of the house occasionally when it wanted to run.”

“Last one!” They pulled it out and we both sighed as they stepped away. I pulled Eren into a tight hug and he let a few stray tears loose.

“You’re safe.” I peppered his cheeks, nose and lips with kisses, simply not giving a fuck about anyone else in the room. I wiped his face with a tissue and offered him a gentle smile.

 

They signed us out of the doctor’s office without much hassle and sent Eren off for his bloodwork and MRI at the hospital. The MRI only took 15 minutes surprisingly, and we got him in for the bloodwork in even less time.

“Jaeger.” He verified his birthday and sat down in the chair.

“Ugh…Levi….” He looked at me with fear in his eyes and froze.

“What’s wrong?”

“N-Needle…”

“But you did your bloodwork fine before…Oh…” The dream…Was I stupid or what? “I’m here babe. Don’t worry.” I walked over to his opposite side and his fingers were already shaking. “Eren. Listen to me. She’s not going to hurt you.” She starting preparing his arm and he was FREAKING.

“M-Maybe we c-can do this another time!” He stood from the chair and I caught his hand.

“No Eren. Sit.”

“LEVI!” Tears welled up in his eyes. “PLEASE!” I pointed to the chair and I saw the utter terror in his eyes.

“Babe. The sooner you do it the sooner it’ll be over.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him right up against me. I could feel his heart about to beat right out of his chest. “Calm down, I won’t let anyone hurt you. Never again, Eren…” I tugged him towards the chair and sat down myself, pulling him onto my lap.

“Levi what are you-“

“Shush.” I wrapped my arms back around his waist and he remained quiet. My head barely rested on his shoulder, but it must’ve been enough, because he immediately calmed down and stuck out his arm. “I’d never willingly let someone hurt you and neither would your Captain. Not a fucking chance.” He jerked at the pinch and I held him tight. “Besides she’s taking blood. Not injecting you with anything.” He nodded and relaxed as she finished up and stuck on his band aid.

“H…Hello Kitty?”

“It’s all we have left. Sorry!” She smiled kindly as she wrote on the vials. He stood up and I took his hand to lead him out to the car.

 

“You’ve got two choices.” I said as we walked into the bathroom. I was helping him wipe off his face after a bathroom break. He looked at me with those gorgeous turquoise eyes and nodded. “We can go home if you are feeling tired, which is perfectly fine and snuggle up on the couch and maybe watch a movie.”

“Or?” I smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Or, we can go out to one of the parks on a date for a while and have a picnic or something.” He frowned and his hand went up to his forehead. He turned to look in the mirror at his forehead as he pushed his bangs back and looked at his chopped hair.

“It’s really bad…Don’t you think, Levi?”

“I think…” I pushed him up against the sink and he gasped. “That you look fucking sexy no matter what Jaeger. I thought we established that already.”

“Levi, anyone could walk in!” His face turned tomato red and I smirked.

“AND? They can see me mark my territory on my gorgeous boyfriend.” I leaned forward a bit more and pressed my lips against his neck, gently kissing at first, then I swiped over it with my tongue and finally I sucked right in the middle of his neck.

“L-Levi!” I grinned as I pulled back, satisfied with the red mark forming on his skin. I chuckled and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I like teasing you. No, Eren, it’s not that bad. Your bangs hide it. You just need to keep them a little long like they are. Sure they can use a dye job, but we were planning that anyway. The one in your scalp will be covered as soon as your hair grows back in.”

“But it looks stupid…”

“Well let’s go shopping. We’ll find a solution for that. And we’ll grab something for our picnic. If you want to go?”

“Sure.” He smiled softly and leaned forward to suck a tiny little mark just below my jaw.

 

When we arrived at the store, he pulled my jacket close around him. I wrapped my arm around his waist as we walked and we walked in the direction of the clothes.

“How about a hat?” He shook his head as he looked at the options.

“A little hot…” I frowned and nodded.

“True…” My eyes fell on the familiar bandanas that I’d grown accustomed to using for cleaning and painting. I had a huge supply, but they were all black. “A bandana?” He touched the fabric and nodded.

“Maybe…”

“You don’t have to wear it like me. Make it your own.” I took one off the shelf and handed it to Eren.

“Can I try the grey one?”

“Sure.” I switched colors and reach it to him after popping off the tag. I had every intention of buying a few anyway. There was a mirror in front of the hats across from us, so that was helpful. At first he tied it like I wore mine. It was cute, but really only suited him if he was going to be painting maybe. He frowned at me and shrugged. “Babe, here how about like a head band. It’s over your forehead an awful lot…”

“I have that ugly mark Levi…”

“Eren, you can’t even see it with your hair.” I untied the bandana and smoothed out his hair before pushing him in front of the mirror. I wrapped my arms around him and for a moment I noticed just how bad Eren looked. Had I overlooked it? Had I pushed his appearance to the back of my mind and tried to cover it up with the fact that I was just so happy he was back in my arms?

He looked so tired. There were circles under his eyes, even though he was getting too much sleep. His hair was a mess, the blue was now faded to a lighter nearly green tone, and though my jacket was wrapped around him tightly his arms clung around his sides. His pajamas were hanging pretty loose as well…He did look skinnier that before. But those eyes, they never lost their vibrancy or their spark.

“Levi…” I pressed myself right up against his back and kissed his neck.

“See how your bangs fall? They cover it.” He nodded and gave me a small smile. “Besides, no one should be looking for it anyways. All people see when they look at you, I imagine are those gorgeous eyes.” He turned pink and his smile got wider. “Me, on the other hand…” I started running my hands a bit lower down to his hips.

“W-We’re…there’s people…” I chuckled so low and kissed his earlobe.

“I love everything about you. From your eyes, which I have to admit is my favorite thing about you, to you lips-“ I turned his head a little to face me and pressed a kiss there as well. “Down to your fingertips…” I brushed against his with my own fingers and reach back to give his back a soothing stroke. “To…Well….” I smirked and gave his ass a squeeze.

“LEVI!”

“OH MY GOD!” A lady rolling a shopping cart by saw up and her eyes went wide. She sped up and rolled the cart away, nearly tripping as she ran. I giggled as I moved my hands back around his waist.

“You’re going to get us in trouble, Levi.”

“The fuck do care if we get kicked out of a damn Walmart.” I smirked against his neck and held the bandana back up. “If I can make you smile it’s worth it.” He too it from my fingers and tried folding it, almost into a thick band. He tied it around his head and looked in the mirror. It worked wonders on covering up the patch of missing hair, and he was damn cute in it. I was almost like a thick headband on him.

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s pretty hot on you.” He smiled and adjusted it a little.

“It covers it pretty well I think.” I agreed and hugged him tight. “I guess this will do.” He picked a dark purple, a turquoise and a grey. We stopped by the deli and stared at the pre-made food. Eren took my hand in his as we looked at the sandwiches.

I never thought you’d be able to eat stuff like this with me…” I turned to him with a small smile on my face. “I remember when you refused to eat fast food because it was so sketchy.” He grinned like an idiot and I nodded.

“Love makes you change I guess…” I gave his hand a squeeze and agreed. “You’ve really helped me Eren.” He withdrew his arm from around his waist and looped it around me, pulling me into a hug.

“You’ve come a long way, Levi.” I kissed his cheek and smiled like an idiot.

“So have you. Now…let’s grab some lunch and get moving.” We grabbed two turkey sandwiches, two bottles of tea and bag of potato wedges.”

 

“Where are we going?” Eren looked more awake now that he was sipping on a coffee I’d bought him at the drive through. Maybe his drowsiness from his last dose of medicine was finally on it’s way out.

“A special spot that Hanji showed me. We’ll be there in a little while, just sit back and relax.” He sat there and stared out the window, covered up now by my jacket and sipping on his coffee.

“Hey Levi…”

“Mhmm?” I took a sip of my own coffee and set it back down in the cup holder.

“Will you…” He set his own coffee aside and reach for my hand. I looked over to him for a second before returning my eyes to the road. “Will you take me to the cemetery in a few days?” I swallowed hard and took a breath.

“Whatever you want, Babe.”

“I want to say goodbye I guess…” My skin crawled at the thought but I wasn’t going to stop Eren from getting the closure he needed. He’d missed the funeral after all. “And we can see Mom too right?” He gave my hand a squeeze and I nodded.

“Of course! We can drop by to see Nana if you don’t mind as well.”

“I don’t mind at all!!” He leaned against my arm and I sighed. Eren had been through hell and back, but he was holding together somehow.

“We’re here.” He wiped at his eyes and I knew a few tears had escaped. As I pulled over to the side of the road, I pulled him towards me and captured his lips. A reminder. A sweet simple reminder that he could always talk to me. Always lean on me for support. We both pulled apart and I couldn’t help the pink that dusted my own cheeks. When had I fallen so helplessly in love with him? He had all of my heart. That wasn’t even a question now. He stroked my cheek with his thumb and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Levi…why are we parked in the middle of nowhere on the side of the road? Are you going to murder me? ARE YOU INTO NECROFILIA?!”

“Tch…NO. Go ahead and get out.” We crossed the road, which had no traffic on it and started through the trees. It had to be here. My memory wasn’t that bad. THERE. I led him to the path that started a little ways through the trees and he followed me. “Be careful, these rocks aren’t particularly steep, but they can be slick.”

“Okay.” I jumped down a few and climbed down a couple more, readjusting the grocery bag on my arm. Eren looked out over the rocks at the scene before us. A huge waterfull and a natural pool at the bottom. There was a lifted rocky edge to the side that was partly shaded and partly sunny so it was beyond perfect.

“It’s beautiful, Levi! The water is so blue! Even though is not the tropics, its so…it’s so much like the ocean!”

“Hanji said it was something to do with the minerals here. She brought me here one day when I sprained my ankle. Said the minerals would help.”

Eren looked down at me with a little bit of fear from atop of the 2nd rock. “T-This is kinda steep actually…” His bandana really did look perfect on him and I smiled as I held my arms out.

“Come on. You know I won’t let you get hurt.”

“I trust you.” He took a step down, and right as he did, his other foot slid on some moss and he fell. Right into my arms. The bag rattled a little and he clung to me for a minute, regaining his composure.

“I told you, I wouldn’t let you get hurt. Not ever again.” He nodded against my neck and put his feet back on the ground.

“L-Levi…” I slung the bag on the ground and ran my fingers through his hair. I could feel his tears against my neck and the only comfort I could give him were soft touches and warm words.

“I love you Eren. So much. I know that won’t fix anything, but…” He leaned back and wiped his eyes.

“I love you too. You…You love me and you stayed with me. Even though things went to shit, you stayed…you….you never left my side!”

“Of course not! You’re my soulmate!” He pulled himself close and cried out again. “Please…just don’t ever leave.” I pulled back slightly and wiped his tears away.

“Listen I’m not going anywhere. I’m ALWAYS going to be here. I…I was going to wait a little longer…Well…I was going to do this on graduation night but…” I looked up at him with fear in my eyes and pressed a kiss to his lips. His tears stopped and he wiped his face again.

“W-What are you talking about?” He gave me a confused look and I smiled softly.

I lifted his key necklace out from under my shirt. The one that now had a new charm. The promise ring now dangled beside the key. I didn’t trust myself to not lose the damn thing, so this was as close to my heart as I could keep it.

“M-My key? B-But Levi…” I unhooked the key from my neck and removed the ring before latching the necklace back around his neck.

“This.” I held up the ring to Eren. “Is what I was supposed to give you on Graduation night. This is a Promise ring. I promise to always protect you, with every able muscle in my body.” Tears started leaking from his eyes and he nodded. “I promise to always stay by your side, no matter the circumstances. We’ll always be together.” He let out a choked sob and reach for my free hand, which I gladly provided. “And finally, I promise to love you until the end of time Eren. I don’t ever want to love anyone else but you.”

“I love you too Levi!” He fell against me and I wrapped my arms around him as he sobbed. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me!” I pressed a kiss to his neck and smiled. “You mean so much to me. So so much.” He breathed hard and I nodded.

“This is supposed to be happy right?” He stepped back and smiled, wiping his eyes again.

“I’m so happy!” I slid the ring onto his finger and his mouth dropped. “THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!” He stole my lips in a kiss, one that I definitely couldn’t have broken out of if I tried. He was devouring me, trying his best to have me right there.

“Eren…Eren!” I grinned as I broke away and he was panting. His face red from the tears and the kiss. “There’s a couple more things…” He cupped my cheek and smiled.

“Okay?”

“I got us tickets to see the Amity Affliction.”

“WHAT?!”

“OUCH!” Fuck. I was on the ground. Definitely on the ground. Eren was on top of me. He was kissing my face and my neck and-WOAH. I pushed him back a little creating a loud _pop!_ That’s gonna turn purple. “Babe! Listen to me-“

“YOU GOT US TICKETS?!” I smiled and nodded and he kissed me again. This was the Eren I knew. The Eren that I was used to. Words. Yeah….those things. I had to gently nudge him back again.

“EREN! STOP!” He was panting as he looked at me with wide eyes. “This is important. I have to tell you.” He rolled to my side and I sat up, taking both of his hands in mine. “This was the whole point of the ring. I want you to understand that even if you say no, I’m not going to leave you or anything dumb like that. We are in this relationship together, so we’ll be making decisions for the long term together.”

“This is sounding scary, Levi…” I stroked his jaw with my thumb and shook my head.

“No, don’t be scared. June manga…they offered me an amazing opportunity.” His eyes went wide and he swallowed hard. “They want me to come to Tokyo and-“

“NO! NO LEVI! Not when! When you said we’d be together….” He frowned and shook his head furiously.

“Hey hey hey! Calm down, you can go!” His face went red and he hid it against my shoulder.

“Fuck…”

“But you’d have to start and maybe finish your schooling there depending on what you decide to do. And where you don’t know the language I know it’ll be hard.” He nodded against my shoulder and I combed my fingers through the chocolate hair I loved so much. Even if it was an absolute mess.

“They want me to go to a manga school there to continue my degree on a full scholarship. They pay for living expenses and rent. I’ll be working in the office as well a little.”

“That’s amazing, Levi!” He pulled back with a huge smile. I nodded as he ran his fingers through my own hair. “Stop looking so down about it! The way you talk about Tokyo! I know you want to go!”

“But Eren…”

“I’ll see if my scholarships will transfer to outside the US. Usually schools eat that shit up.” He was beaming and my heart was pounding. “I guess we’re going to Tokyo!” I wrapped him up in a tight hug, so tight that he whimpered and I had to loosen a little. The agreement was sealed with a kiss and I was so happy. Happy to have my soulmate back in my arms and in the process of healing and soon we would be on our way to Tokyo.

We made our way down to the rocky ledge, that had a great amount of space to stretch out and we set out our lunch. Eren laid his head in my lap as he stared at his sandwich and I nibbled on mine. He did sip on his tea, but I was really getting concerned about his appetite.

“Eren…” He looked up at me and blinked. “Here.” I pulled off a bite sized piece of my sandwich and had him eat it. He chewed it for a while before swallowing. We ate the sub together, and eventually finished it off. “Want some more?” I went to open his and he shook his head.

“I’m full.” I stroked his cheek and set our trash aside. We looked out over the water as a fine mist sprayed over us. “Feels nice…” Eren sighed and turned to look up at me.

“Want to go in the water?” He raised his eyebrow and smiled.

“We don’t even have shorts!”

“Tch. Like that matters. Come on.” He rolled out of my lap and I pulled off my shirt and tossed it aside, kicking off my shoes at the same time.

“Levi!” He was laughing now, but he pulled off my jacket and tossed it with my shirt. I stepped out of my pants and threw them with my shirt. He was turning red at this point and I took a step closer.

“We can just go in our underwear.” I pecked him on the chin and he nodded, red starting to creep down his neck. I lifted up the hem of his shirt and pulled it gently over his head, adding it to the growing pile of clothes. The sun shown down on us, warming our skin and only adding to the atmosphere. I hooked my fingers in his waistband, pulling down the last crucial piece to our afternoon away. He smiled at me and wove his fingers through my hair, before pulling me into a kiss. His lips were so soft, not to mention he tasted extra sweet from the iced tea. I pulled down his pajamas and threw them aside as well, giving him a grin before taking his hand in mine.

“The rocks are slippery babe. Be careful.” He nodded and followed me down to the blue pool at the bottom of the rocks. Our feet hit the sandy banks and Eren shuddered.

“COLD!” I smirked and pulled him right up against me.

“Once we get out in the sun it’ll be better. We’re over here in the shade.” To be honest the water WAS cold as hell, but that’s what you get in the late spring. Nothing had really gotten that warm yet. Evidentially, Eren believed me and followed me a litter deeper into the water.

“This is REALLY fucking cold, Levi. Oh my god!” He squeezed my hand and shivered. We were up to our knees now, staring at the blue water in front of us. “My balls are going to freeze off!”

“Let’s hope not! I like them where they are!” His face went blood red instantly and he took a step back in embarrassment, although he didn’t let go of my hand. He did however slip on a rock under the water and fall…straight into the deep part of the pool, pulling me right in with him.

“EREN! FUCK!!!” He cried out from the shock of the cold and I rushed to him, wrapping my arm around his waist.

“It’s okay! I can touch the bottom here!” I frowned and tried to reach. No luck. He looped his arms around me instead and pulled me against him. “There!” I trembled against him. Fuck. This had to be the South Pole. “Hey Levi….” I looked into those pools of turquoise right in front of me as I readjusted my arms around him. “You may not be able to touch the bottom…but…” He gave me a devious smile, before his hand splashed beneath the surface and trailed up my thigh touching my ass and giving it a firm squeeze. “I can touch YOUR bottom.”

“Fucking cheesy.” I laughed before I brought our lips together again. We were both completely soaked. Even his new bandana was dripping, but he still looked sexy in it. It was becoming a part of him now. I licked over his lips, over his tongue. Just enjoying the silky taste that was Eren.

We swam and floated around for a while, sometimes embracing just like that, and sometimes swimming around beside each other to explore the rest of the location. The waterfall was obviously Eren’s favorite part.

“Levi, will you kiss me under it?” I swam over to him and he met me halfway, the water crashing right behind us. “It’s romantic, isn’t it?”

“Mhmm, I always wondered if I could ever bring anyone special here actually, but I never thought it would happen.” I said it as I cupped it cheek lovingly. “Then I found you.” I kissed him again as we floated together in front of the waterfall, and we slowly swam back together to the rocks to make our way back to our things.

“Want to sit in the sun for a while?”

“Sure.” I grabbed my phone to check for missed calls and we sat together in the sunshine, overlooking the beautiful sight before us. “How about a picture? We haven’t done one since….”

“Yeah. Is my bandana okay?” I adjusted it a little and slicked his bangs back into place over his scar. Where they were wet, they didn’t really want to cover it.

“Here, touch your forehead to mine. Like this.” I wrapped my arm around him and tilted our heads together, successfully covering the rest of the scar. I took the picture and checked it. Both of our faces were smiling back at me. Eren grinned and I set my phone aside. He stretched out against the rocks and let the sun cascade over him.

“You look damn sexy like that, Jaeger. I could eat you up right now…” He smirked at me and tried to pull me closer with his leg.

“Do it.”

“Is that an invitation?”

“Maybe it is?” I bit my lip and crept over to him.

“You little brat.” He smirked up at me from underneath the arm he was using to shade his eyes from the sun. “Do you have any idea how lost I’ve been without you? Not just mentally, but physically. I hated going to bed at night because you weren’t there. Because I couldn’t touch your skin and feel you touch me back….and now…” I looked at him and sucked in a breath. “Now everything’s just crashing back down to normal?” He reach out for my hand and tugged me down beside him.

“No, not if that’s not what you want. I know it’s been hard on you. I know you’ve been through hell and back, Levi. I can see how stressed you’ve been. But now that I’m feeling a little better…” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I’m willing to fall back into our normal routine if you are, BUT that doesn’t mean we have to rush it. Take your time. You’re so exhausted from going through so much. Plus taking care of me.” My eyes went wide and I shook my head.

“No…that’s…I…” I took his hand in mine and kissed him. “I just want to make sure you’re up for this.”

“I am if you are. We can go slow if that’ll help with any worries?” I felt a nervousness settle in the pit of my stomach, but I nodded.

“Okay.” I picked up my phone and put on some music, drawing a grin from Eren. I grabbed my shirt and shoved it under Eren’s head. Since our clothes were nearly a thing of the past anyway, there wasn’t much stripping to do.

I straddled him and his hands went to their familiar place on my hips. Never forgetting. Never losing their place. I leaned forward and devoured him, kissing him into a hot panting mess beneath me. I needed this. These last few weeks had left me desperate for him. The first week had been hell, not knowing if he’d live or die. The time after that was grueling, just helping him along with his recovery. Of course I didn’t mind one bit, but I wasn’t going to pressure him into anything sexual.

 

 _My eyes roll back_  
The ceiling fades  
I breathe you in  
Exalt your flames

 

I trailed my fingertips down his torso as I licked and sucked, leaving red marks as I went. Eren was mine. ALL MINE. No one else’s. He had my ring, my key, my marks, my heart. Every single piece of me.

“Levi!” He groaned under me and I stroked gently up his side, making him squirm below me. “HMMG”

“That’s a new sound.” I repeated my motion and he made a high pitched whimper this time. I moved down to his hips, quickly growing impatient. I growled and placed my marks there as well, practically making Eren scream out and crawl against the rocks.

 

 _Let's lose our minds_  
Come here to me  
We're wasting time  
Darling can you hear me?

 

“FUCK! Fuck. Levi!” I pulled his boxers the rest of the way off and tossed them over in the sun to dry, along with mine. We were SOL when it came to lube out here. I pushed his legs apart and revealed that gorgeous ass of his.

 

 _Heroine my sweetest sin_  
I can't seem to get enough  
Pull me under, wake me up  
Feel the rush

 

“So beautiful, Eren…” He whimpered and covered his face. I tsked him and climbed up his body just to pull his arm away. “Don’t cover those fucking eyes for a second. You know they’re my favorite.” I placed a kiss beside each one and went right back down. “This is gonna be…different. Okay?” He nodded and watched me as I put my fingers in my mouth sucking on the three fingers that would soon be going inside him. His eyes went wide as he watched me and I finally stroked his entrance, pushing inside with a soft smile. He arched up off the rocks and sighed softly, reaching out for me. “You arch so perfectly. Every muscle just tenses in the right place.” He shivered and I coaxed another finger into place.

 

 _Morphine, lover make me numb_  
Make it so I can't get up  
Paper thin 'til you sink in  
Could you be my heroine?

 

He whimpered, trying to buck against my fingers as I brushed that sensitive bundle of nerves. I felt him gradually loosening around my fingers, and I slipped in the final one, which made him cry out. He did push down on them this time, shoving them a little further inside.

“Eren…be patient love.” I cooed and wiggled all three fingers gently.

“Levi! Please!” He reach for me and I grinned. His head was even flying up off of my shirt, watching me hungrily. “PLEASE!”

 _Do you feel exposed?_  
Let your feelings show  
Can I taste you, can I replace you?  
I need to know

 

“Okay! Okay!” I withdrew my fingers and looked down at my own cock. “Think you can give me a few good licks?” I cocked an eyebrow at him and he nodded furiously, pulling me towards him. The rock under my knees was rough, but I really didn’t pay it any attention as I made my way over to him. Eren pulled me down, licking me a couple of times before taking me into his mouth completely. I couldn’t help but let out a moan, but I couldn’t get lost in the pleasure. I had to restrain myself. I pulled back and made my way down, immediately pressing against his entrance with my wet cock.

He whined and I laced our fingers together as I began to press in. Amazing what a couple of weeks apart will do. Once I was fully settled, I leaned over and brought our lips together, licking and nipping at his lower one.

“Move. Please, just… I want to feel you, Levi. Make me feel amazing.” I smirked against his lips and nodded.

 

 _Let's lose our minds_  
Please stay with me  
We're wasting, yeah  
We're wasting time  
Why don't you believe me?

 

“Anything for you.” I pushed in and Eren moaned, which sent shivers down my spine. His moans and the sound of the rushing waterfall behind us were more than enough to fuel my desires. I thrust again, this time harder, and he arched up, wrapping his legs around me. One more push and he cried out, hand reaching back to claw at my shoulder. I angled my hips a little sharper and had tears pouring from those pools of turquoise.

 

 _Heroine my sweetest sin_  
I can't seem to get enough  
Pull me under, wake me up  
Feel the rush

 

“Le-vi! Le-vi! OH! Fuck! THERE!” His nails bit further into my shoulder and I lost my balance a bit and slipped, his nails sliding right along with me, raking across my collar bone and up my neck a little.

“HNNN- Tch.” I grit my teeth as the stinging sensation passed, but somehow added to the pleasure. I continued my hard thrusts, pushing Eren up against the mass of rock beneath us.

 

 _Morphine lover make me numb_  
Make it so I can't get up  
Paper thin 'til you sink in  
Could you be my heroine?

 

“SHIT! HAAA!” His other hand had a death grip on my own. I looked down at the beautiful sight below me. Though he still had a long way to go, Eren was still gorgeous. His chocolate hair may have been disheveled, but it looked fucking sexy with that bandana headband, the loose locks splaying across my t-shirt. Sure he could use some more blue hair dye, but the teal green really looked good on him also. Those heavy lidded turquoise eyes flashing up at me periodically. Did I even have to mention those? My eyes traveled down. To his tan skin, his muscles that were slowly gaining definition, his long arms and legs. He just looked perfect. I turned my eyes back up to his face, contorted in pleasure. I felt my stomach twist and tighten.

 

 _It starts with the spins_  
Yeah you got me swimming  
I'm falling to pieces and I won't be whole until you let me in  
Until you let me in  
Until you let me in  
Until you let me in oh

 

“FUCK.” I was getting close. Sure a couple of weeks didn’t seem like a long time, but when it came to the turquoise beauty beneath me, seeing his face like that could send me over the edge without a second thought. “E-Eren!” I pulled back a little and reach between us, grasping him firmly and working him in time with my erratic thrusts. His eyes were rolling back, and his cried had turned to screams now. His other hand had fallen to my thigh, but those nails were still packing the same bite.

“LEVI! NYAAA! GONNA-“ He arched up into my thrusts, tan body slick with sweat, turquoise eyes catching mine.

 

 _Heroine my sweetest sin_  
I can't seem to get enough  
Pull me under, wake me up  
Feel the rush

 

“Come for me Eren!” I yelled out his name as I slammed into him and pumped him hard. That request sent him over the edge. He shot up, latching on to me, both hands clawing down my back as he let out final cry, voice hoarse. It only fueled me to push into him a few more times, moaning low and ragged as I whispered his name right into his ear as I released deep inside.

 

 _Morphine lover make me numb_  
Make it so I can't get up  
Paper thin 'til you sink in  
Could you be my heroine?

 

I pulled him close against me, pressing a kiss to one of the darkest marks that I’d left on his shoulder. He let out a light sigh and a smiled against his warm skin, before easing him back against the rock. His eyelids were drooping, but he had a soft smile on his face.

_My heroine_  
My heroine  
Could you be my heroine?

 

“Don’t want to leave yet…” He muttered it and I pressed a kiss to his neck.

“We can stay a while longer. Here, just slip these on.” I retrieved our pants, leaving our soaked underwear out in the sun to dry. I slid the pajamas back on Eren, which was a chore since he was dozing off and I hopped back into my jeans.

“Le-vi…” I smiled and laid down beside of him.

“I’m here.” He pulled me up against him, resting my head against his shoulder. My bare back felt great in the warm sun. I felt drowsy, especially after the swim and the wonderful time I’d just had with Eren. I yawned and snuggled against his side. His fingers tangled in my hair and I felt myself drifting off….

 

 

 _Can't you see over there?_  
Such a horrible sight  
They're devouring all like you  
Here come the giant hands

 

“Hmmm….”

“Levi.”

“No…”

 _Breaking through the wall_  
As dawn arrives  
We still survive

“LEVI!!” My eyes popped open and I looked at Eren who was shoving my phone in my face. “It’s Hanji. I answered it.” I groaned and noticed the soon to be setting sun. Shit.

“Hello?” I rubbed my eyes as I sat up.

“LEVI!!! Are we still on for later?”

“What’s later?”

“Game night?”

“What? Ugh…can we reschedule for tomorrow maybe. Eren and I had a rough day.”

“AWWW!”

“Hanji, let them rest!” I heard Erwin speak up in the background and I rubbed Eren’s leg.

“Fine! Tomorrow is good! We’ll see you then!”

“See you. Goodnight.” I hung up and looked over at Eren, who was staring at me with a frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ugh…Levi…” He brushed my back and it was a little more sensitive than usual. “We should get some aloe when we get my medicine.” I frowned and noticed how warm my back actually was. How long had we been asleep? Eren was a little more tan, but I was ghostly pale. I didn’t tan. I burned.

“SHIT.” I put my face in my hands and Eren giggled.

“And….maybe it’ll help with…some of the scratches too…” He placed a small kiss to my back and pulled away with a red face.

“That, I’m not worried about.” I said with a grin. “Let’s just go get your medicine and head home.” I helped him to his feet, and after we were dressed, not even bothering to put on our underwear, we made the trek back to the car. “One more dose of the old medicine and you can start the new tomorrow. Hopefully it works better.”

“I hope so.” He laced our fingers together as I lurched out onto the road, back towards town. Towards the pharmacy and towards home. One thing was for sure. Sunburn or not, we’d both get a good night’s sleep tonight.


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Developments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little note~ I'M GOING TO MATSURICON!!!! WOOOOO   
> SO!!! If Anyone would like to meet and chat or say hello ;) Give me a shout on here or my tumblr!  
> http://xxdeja-uchihaxx.tumblr.com/
> 
> Anyways this chapter was inspired by the lovely Neko_yuki_onna

Eren’s POV

_Arms. Strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me close. I took a deep breath and smelled the familiar scent of my love and snuggled right up against his chest. Warm sunshine was pouring into the bedroom, but neither of us really cared._

_“I guess if I have to be stuck in bed, it’s not so bad to be stuck here with you.” I grinned against his chest and hugged him tight._

_“Besides, even Humanity’s Strongest needs some time to rest.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and snickered._

_“If anyone deserves to rest, it’s you brat. You’ve busted your ass since you got here. He’ll probably since the walls fell.” I didn’t look up from his chest, I just nodded as he rubbed circles against my shoulder._

_“It’s been tough…”_

_“Well, hopefully soon we may have some peace in this world.” He tilted my chin up and placed a kiss to my lips, making the corners turn up into a smile. “If we make it out of this Eren…I’d like to spend the remainder of my time here with you.” I felt my face flush before he brought our lips together again briefly, then moved to press a couple of kisses to my neck._

_“I’d like that too…Levi….” He raised his head up from kissing my neck and gave me a genuine smile. One that warmed my heart all the way to the core. “I haven’t been this happy since…since….” He cupped my cheek in his hand and stroked it gently with his thumb._

_“Let’s not think about all of that. Let’s just enjoy our morning. Come here.” He readjust his knee a little, before he pulled me right back against him, warmth radiating through both of us. “I love you, Eren.”_

_“I love you too.” I felt him bury another kiss in my hair and I shut my eyes, drifting so easily in his arms._

“NMM!”

“Eren.” I reach out. Reach for something. For anything. Warmth. I found it. I found Levi’s hand and locked our fingers together.

“Levi.” I whimpered and turned on my side. Relief. Relief. Anything. Anything. On my stomach maybe? NO. Back to my side. I knew I was thrashing, but it was all my mind could do to try and bear with the searing pain. “LEVI!”

“BABE!” I felt movement beside me and a hand was on my shoulder. I popped an eye open, looking up at a terrified Levi.

“Make it stop. P-Please.” I felt my stomach lurch and I knew I was close to throwing up. The pain was overwhelming. The lights were too much. The movement. Everything.

“Okay! I’ll go get the new medicine! Maybe it’ll help!” He jumped off the bed with a thud and ran downstairs. He was back in what seemed like milliseconds, ripping open the bad and throwing it on the bed. “FUCK. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!” I held my head in my hands and turned to look at Levi. He was frowning, and I cringed as I looked at the spilled contents of the bag on the bed. Two vials and a box of syringes. My hands started shaking and I looked at him in disbelief.

“N-No. NO. NO. NO!”

“Eren-“

“HE SAID IT WAS A LIQUID!”

“Babe-“ I squirmed on the bed as a jolt of pain shot through me. I was completely out of my other medication as of last night. I was completely and utterly boned. FUCK. I couldn’t help the shuttered gasp I took in, or the tears that sprung from my eyes. “Eren. Listen to me…” Levi was throwing the items back in the bag, out of sight. He climbed back on the bed and pulled me into his arms.

“No…no no…please….” I was between his legs, trying desperately to just make it stop.

“Listen to me Turquoise.” He whispered it low and sweet into my ear, pulling me back against his chest gently. “I hate to see you in pain or scared. You know that.” I tried to suck in a breath, but I was just being buried. Buried in pain and fear. “Eren… You can fight this. Fight these fears. It’s just me. Don’t you trust me?” I felt a pang in my heart as he said it that way. I trusted Levi with my life, but this was just so real.

“O-Of course-“ I sucked in a breath and he wiped a few tears away. “I d-do.” I nodded desperately, trying to massage my temple.

“Then let me, Eren. Just try at least.” I swallowed hard as another sharp pain swept through me. “You know I’d never hurt you.” He pressed a kiss to my neck and I nodded.

“B-Be easy?”

“Of course.” One more kiss to the top of my head and he was climbing off the bed, running into the bathroom to get an alcohol pad I’m guessing. He brought the syringe and the vial to the side of the bed and quickly read over the medicine information packet. He wiped my shoulder down and kissed my cheek. I didn’t watch, but my guess was he filled the needle up neck. “Little poke.” I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting as my heart pounded. I heard a wrapper rattle and felt something sticky. I looked over to see Levi putting a pink Band-Aid on me.

“W-wait…you already?” He raised his eyebrow and tossed the wrapped away.

“Gave it to you? Yeah.” He smiled and pressed a kiss a few inches above the band aid before dropping my sleeve back down. “Nana had me give her shots occasionally.” He shrugged and collected the vial and the used syringe. “We’ll have to get a container for these.”

He climbed back into bed with me and pulled me into his arms. My head was still pounding and I really couldn’t help the tears running down my cheeks.

“S-Sorry.” He shook his head and ran his fingers through my hair.

“Don’t apologize. I’m here no matter what.” I felt another wave of pain hit me and my shoulders tensed. “Maybe a shower? Might relax you a little.” I nodded and he led me to the bathroom making a quick stop to brush our teeth first before stripping off my clothes as well as his as we climbed in. I clung to him as stood there, taking pretty much all of the water for myself, but Levi just held me close, washing me gently and making me clean. He washed himself quickly, returning to hold me tight.

“How’s the water?” I opened my eyes to stare at him and lurched forward into his arms. “Woah. Don’t fall.”

“Feels nice…”

“Eren…”

“Just a minute or two more…” I felt drowsy, but surely it was just from my muscles loosening up. I was pretty stressed out. Wait…when did my pain go away?

“How’s your head?” He nuzzled his cheek against mine and I let out a content sigh.

“Better. Pain’s gone…” I felt my eyes flutter as he ran his fingers over my shoulder, running down my back with feather light touches.

“Good. I’m glad.”

“Mhmm….” I shut my eyes and let my chin come to rest on his shoulder. I heard the water shut off and the next thing I knew, Levi was helping me out of the shower. He wrapped me in a towel and dried me off, then led me back into the bedroom. “I’m…a little sleepy.” I yawned as he walked me to the bed. We’d both skipped the clothing. There was no point. He helped me into bed, and snuggled up next to me.

“Then rest for a while. I’ll be right here.” I felt his warm skin press right up against me, before he pulled the comforter over us.

“Thanks, Levi…”

“Anytime.” He nuzzled my neck and I dozed off, drifting back into my dream.

 

 

“Yeah. I’ll see if he’s up for it. Just give me a little while. Talk to you in a bit. Bye.” I heard Levi’s voice as I turned over and rubbed my eyes.

“Did I wake you?” I yawned and crawled across the bed to him. He was sitting up with his phone in his hand.

“No, I think I finally slept enough.” He ruffled my hair and smiled.

“So, that was Hanji. She wants to know if we are still on for game night.” I laid my head in his lap and his fingers tangled in my hair.

“I’m fine with it if you are.” I nodded and snuggled up against his leg.

“Sure. It’ll be quite a few people. Hanji, Erwin, Armin, Jean, and Marco.”

“Sounds good.” He kept playing with my hair and I looked up at him to see him grinning down at me.

“How about I touch up the blue before they get here? It’ll be a couple of hours.” I nodded and after a little while longer of lazing around, we finally pulled ourselves out of the covers.

 

 

 

“Does it look okay?” I adjusted the teal bandana and Levi smiled at me. I felt comfortable. Levi insisted it was okay that we keep the air conditioning down to a cooler temperature so I could still lounge around in hoodies and sweaters. I just felt safer. Comfortable. I had my grey striped sweater on today and my tripp pants. An odd combo, but I could really care less.

“You look great. I could rip it all off of you and eat you up right now.” I felt my face heat up, but my lips curled into a smile.

“LEVI!” He chuckled and laces our fingers together. He was the one that looked great. For once, he’d stolen something of mine! A red shirt that had Grell on the front, and he paired it with black pants. He pulled back and kissed my cheek before reaching into the closet and yanking a black hoodie out. I caught a glance of multiple strings and silver eyelets. Corseting. MY HOODIE. “You’re wearing-“

“I’m stealing your hoodie.” He gave me a devious smirk before he slipped my hoodie over his arms, letting it hang open. It looked perfectly delicate on him, the lacing of the strings accenting his slender waist. We heard a knock on the door and Levi winked at me, before walking down the stairs. He opened the door, just as I reach the bottom of the stairs and Hanji thrust a game in his face. He grabbed the box and she jumped inside.

“WE BROUGHT PIZZA!!!” I frowned as I stood at the bottom of the steps. Everyone was kicking off their shoes and piling in the house. “EREN! YOU ARE SO CUTE TODAY!” Hanji squeezed me in a hug and I smiled. Levi pulled her off of me before taking my hand.

“Want to try a bite of pizza?” I nodded as he walked me over to the boxes. Luckily they’d brought paper plates and soda as well. The couch and chairs had already been claimed, so I sat on Levi’s lap in the floor. I had a small slice of stuffed crust cheese pizza on my plate. It was making my stomach churn just by looking at it. I heard everyone chewing around me and I sat my plate aside. “Eren…” I let my head fall as I looked at the floor.

“Sorry.”

“Here.” I looked up and Levi was offering me his stuffed crust. “It’s your favorite part right?” I swallowed hard and nodded.

“Yeah…” He fed it to me and I bit into it, nipping at the cheesy crust. It did taste good. It didn’t seem as oily as the pizza itself. Maybe I could keep it down after all. I chewed for a minute and nodded. Levi grinned at me and snagged my piece from my plate. He devoured the pizza quickly, before handing me the crust. “Ugh Levi-“ He kissed me on the cheek after he wiped his mouth.

“Eat up.” He grinned and handed his plate to Erwin. “I want the big slice of pepperoni!” My eyes went wide as he started chowing down on his third slice. Oh my gosh. I nibbled on the stuffed crust and sipped on my seven up.

After he ate five pieces he leaned back against the couch. I looked at the two crusts waiting on my plate and smiled.

“Levi’s such a cutie! You know we could have just CUT the crusts off for Eren DO DO BIRD!” Hanji said with a cackle. Levi grinned and shrugged. I couldn’t possible eat anymore. My stomach was about to give in now.

“I’ll wrap yours up for later.” Armin said with a smile as he took my plate and headed into the kitchen. Levi groaned and stretched out. Hanji started setting up the game and I zoned out as Jean and Marco were having some conversation amongst themselves. I guess the world never really stopped. People don’t stop with their lives because you are healing or going through a hard time. They move on with life, with love, with-

“Hey.” I looked down as Levi laced his fingers together with mine. “What cha thinking about turquoise?” I smiled softly as he brought my hand down to his lips and kissed it.

“Just…about how life moves so fast I guess.” He nodded and brought his head up to rest on my knee.

“That’s true, but… when you find the right person it seems to slow down just a little bit at least.” He smiled up at me and stroked the gleaming ring on my finger. I heard a crash behind us and turned to see dented soda cans lying on the floor.

“EREN! W-WHEN?! WHAT?!” Armin’s eyes were huge as he stared at my finger. “THAT’S-IS THAT?!” Levi smirked and kissed my hand.

“It’s a promise ring! Calm down! OH WAIT-“ I looked at Levi with a terrified glance. “Y-You haven’t told them?”

“Surprise!” Levi said as he kicked up an enthusiastic leg in the air from the floor.

“LEVI!!!!” My face went red and he snickered.

“WHAT?!” Armin was still staring at us in disbelief.

“Okay, okay.” Levi pulled me up to my feet and right up next to his side. “So, a few days ago I gave Eren this promise ring.” I smiled and held out my hand. “And…well…June Manga has invited me to go to Tokyo to attend a Manga school for free to continue my education and live rent free. So…we are going at the end of summer.” Everyone looked at us in shock and Armin’s mouth dropped open.

“Y-You’re….you’re leaving?!”

“Not for a few months.” Levi held on to me as my heart began to speed up. “Armin, you know how I’ve always wanted to visit Japan!” He shook his head in disbelief and Erwin walked over to wrap his arms around his chest.

“I…What will we do without you? Have you told Mikasa?”

“Not yet….”

“Eren!”

“I know! I know!” I leaned my head down and Levi rubbed my back.

“HEY!” Hanji clapped and we drew our attention to her. “How about an old fashioned congratulations?! These lovebirds are flying away to Japan to reach for their dreams and I’m ONE PROUD MOMMA!” She ran over and hugged us.

“I say go for it!” Marco gave us a thumbs up and Jean smiled.

“Same here. If anyone deserves to achieve their dreams, it’s you two.”

“NOW!” Hanji said with a grin. “LET’S PLAY SOME STRIP MONOPOLY!” My eyes went wide and I took a step back.

“W-What?!” I gripped Levi’s hand.

“We never decided on that Hanji!” Levi hissed.

“I just did! And so did Mr. Jose here!” She held up the bottle of tequila beside of the monopoly board and Levi frowned.

“Come on guys! After dropping news like that on us, the least you can do is play a game of monopoly!” I looked at Levi timidly and he pulled me closer to his side.

“L-Levi…I….” He kissed me on the forehead.

“You don’t have to Eren.” Hanji frowned.

“COME OOOON! HAVE FUN!” I pulled the sweater up around me. The only person I was even REMOTELY comfortable with seeing me without clothes on, was Levi. There was no way. NO WAY. I had too many scars. Too many…memories.

“Eren…you’re shaking.”

“Sorry…”

“It’s just us, Eren.” Armin smiled at me sweetly and I swallowed hard.

“Babe, seriously. If you don’t want to, just sit out. I won’t play if you don’t.” I was caught in a struggle.

“EREN!!!!” Hanji was tugging on my arm and Levi was swatting at her.

“F-FINE!!! I’ll play!” I plopped down in front of the monopoly board, tugging Levi with me. Armin was voted to be the banker and dealt out the money.

“NO TEQUILA!” Levi scolded as he grabbed the bottle from Hanji. He rolled it away from her across the room.

“You’re no fun!” She stuck her tongue out at him and he shook his head.

 

30 minutes later

 

“WHY DOES ARMIN HAVE SO MANY HOUSES?!” Jean yelled as he threw his last bit of monopoly money at Armin.

“Because my cutie is smart.” Erwin shrugged and rolled the nice. “Shit.” He landed on one of Armin’s houses and dropped a bill into his boyfriend’s pile. I frowned as I looked over at Levi. He was smirking at me. He had slipped me a $100 out of his own pile earlier, so he was down to his last $50. I also had $50 left.

“NOOO!!!” Hanji wailed as she landed on the “GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL”. Amin rolled a three and landed on his own house. Go figure. He only had like seven. It was Levi’s turn. He rolled a five and moved his piece along the board.

“FUCK.”

“BAHAHA! I TOLD YOU MARCO! MY HOUSES WERE A GOOD CHOICE!” Levi held up his $50 and raised his eyebrow. “PAY UP ACKERMAN!” Only Jean would put three little houses on one spot.

“How much is the rent?”

“$90”

“Let me see the damn clothes chart.” Levi tossed his $50 at Jean and took off his shirt, chucking it at Jean.

“WOOOO!” Hanji cackled. “Our first victim!” Levi rolled his eyes. I rolled next and landed on Armin’s house. I frowned and looked down at my $50.

“The rent’s $60.” Armin said with a giggle I handed him my $50 and took off my socks. “That’ll work!” I stuck my feet under Levi to keep them warm.

“MARCO’S TURN!” Marco rolled and ended up buying a house for his property. Jean lost his money AND Levi’s shirt to the community chest, because he had to pay.

“Oh Hanjiiiii.” Levi said with a smirk. “I think you have to pay to get out of jail.”

“I can try to roll double three times right?!”

“If you mess up you have to forfeit and item of clothing.” Armin said as he read off the rules.

“DAMN IT.” She tried to roll and of course lady luck wasn’t with her. She took off her socks and tossed them into the pile. Armin rolled and actually ended up paying Erwin for something, but after Erwin rolled Armin took the money right back. Levi sighed as he rolled.

“SHIT. This game is rigged.” He glared at Armin and I snickered. “Jaeger. Are you fucking, LAUGHING?!”

“NO! NO!” I grinned and he leaned forward with a smirk on his lips. He was definitely playing. “You little brat! You are!” He pressed a kiss to my lips before pulling back.

“How much Arlert?”

“$100.”

“Shit. I guess I’ll sell these.” He stood up and unbuckled his pants. Before tossing them over Armin’s head. Armin lit up bright red and so did I for that matter. It’s not like I WANTED everyone to see my boyfriend like that! Armin took Levi’s $100 and he sat back down. I jumped on his lap, shielding him from their stares. “hmmm…someone jealous now?” he whispered in my ear.”

“A little….” He pressed a kiss to my neck and I blushed again before I rolled the dice. “FUCK THIS. How can I be this bad?!” I groaned and stared at Erwin. OF COURSE he bought the blue spaces. Levi pulled me up close and hugged me.

“You don’t have to. Just-“

“No…” I sighed and looked up again. “How much?”

“$50.” I pulled off my shirt and threw it to Erwin. Levi wrapped his arms around me and I leaned back against him. Maybe they wouldn’t look. Maybe…

“LOOK AT EREN!!!” I squeezed my eyes shut. “Look at his band aid! HA!” I looked at my arm and smiled at the band aid from this morning. Levi kissed the top of my head and they continued on with the game.

Somehow, we’d managed to stay clothed for the next couple of rounds. Erwin however lost his shirt, and Hanji lost her pants. Marco was broke now, so he was on the verge of being next. It was my turn again. I rolled the dice and just like I expected, right on Armin’s little fucking town of suburbia. I scowled at him and Erwin laughed.

“$100.”

“Of course it is.” I shoved my pants at him, not bothering to stand up to take them off.

“HOLY SHIT! EREN!! CAREFUL!!!” Armin screamed. “These pants are dangerous!” He looked at the buckles and Levi burst into laughter as he pulled me back into his lap. I heard the dice roll next to me and I looked over.

“FUCK!” There was a gasp as we all looked over.

“M-Marco?! Marco said that?!” Armin said in shock.

“You’d be surprised the kinds of things you can get him to say- OUCH!!!” Marco elbowed Jean in the ribs as he tossed his shirt at his boyfriend. Jean was next, placing another house on his little space.

“NOOO!!!!” Hanji was in jail…again. Armin bought another little perfect house on his street. Erwin was starting to buy up the railroads. Levi rolled the dice. Right in Armin’s little town.

“Are you fucking….Arlert. You are dead.” Levi glared and ran his fingers through his hair before he ripped off his underwear and tossed it right in Armin’s face. “Give me my $400 fucking dollars. I’m making you pay.”

“WOOOOOOOO!!! LOOK AT LEVI!” Hanji whistled and I jumped on his lap. My face was bright red. He was chuckling behind me.

“It’s not like she hasn’t seen me before, brat.” He kissed my neck and I shook my head. “Maybe not your little friends. Poor Arlert over there. I don’t think his face will ever go the same color again.” I nodded and looked at my bare legs. They looked bad, but…I was having a good time. No one else was worrying about their body I’m sure. I laughed and kissed Levi as he nuzzled my neck. I rolled the dice and just guess where I ended up. It’d be too easy to end up in suburbia. I ended up on Jean’s super square.

“B-BUT” My eyes went wide.

“PAY UP JAEGER!!! YOU’RE GOING BANKRUPT!” My face turned blood red and I swallowed hard.

“I-I…I-“ I hooked my thumbs under my waistband and started to yank them down, but a hand was locked over mine.

“Are off limits.”

“WHAT?!” Levi smirked.

“You forfeit.”

“HUUUH?!” He chuckled low before scooping me up into his arms. The last thing everyone saw was a perfect view of Levi’s ass as he carried me up the stairs.

 

 

 

 

The next day

“Eren.”

“Hmmm?”

“Wake up. It’s 11. We need to do your medications.” I opened my eyes and sat up. I heard Levi opening packages and felt him lift up my sleeve. I really wasn’t scared anymore. Levi was the definition of gentle. I did feel the needle go in this time, but it wasn’t anything more than a little pressure. “Done with that. Just don’t forget your other meds.” I nodded and reach for him. He kissed my forehead.

Levi was more than I could ever ask for. He truly cared about me. He loved me. I could tell he wasn’t lying about spending the rest of our lives together. When the time was right of course.

After we showered and got dressed, we snuggled up on the couch together. Levi hadn’t let anyone leave last night until they were all dressed and everything was cleaned up. Somehow Jean had ended up winning. Poor Armin…

“What do you want to watch?” Levi was flipping through different anime, looking for something interesting.

“I’ve always wanted to watch Durarara.”

“Me too. Let’s go for it!” He smiled at me and went to pull me against him.

“Levi…”

“Yeah?” He paused the intro and looked over at me.

“Come here.” I pulled his head into my lap and he pressed start again. “Let me take care of you for a while. You’ve been so busy taking care of me. Thank you by the way….one day….I….I mean…You…” I felt my face heat up and I looked away at the wall.

“Eren?” He looked up at me with a puzzled expression.

“You’re going to be a great husband.” I grinned as I said it and he beamed at me.

“I’ll try my best.” He reach up and cupped my cheek in his hand. We heard the mail fall through the slot in the door and Levi sat up. “I’ll be right back. Save that lap for me?” He winked at me and I nodded.

“Sure.” Levi grabbed the mail and sat down beside me as he sorted through it.

“Art institute for you. Guess you don’t need that. Cell phone bill. Yuck…wait…what’s this.” He raised his eyebrow as he looked at the letter in his hand. I glanced over at the thick envelope.

****

**_To Mr. Levi Ackerman_ **

**_From Mr. Nile Doc_ **

**_Representative of the estate of Ms._ _Clarisse Ackerman_ **

__

_“Is this a joke?” Levi ripped open the envelope and read over the letter._

_Dear Mr. Ackerman,_

_Sorry for the delay in this process, but we ran into some issues regarding the will in question. The wrinkles, however, have been ironed out. I do realized that you need some time to make accommodations for travel, so please do so immediately, so you can be present for the reading of the will. You may bring one other individual. We will provide travel accommodations to the address below as well as boarding in a local hotel for the allotted time._

_The required date is listed below. Thank you for your time._

_Nile Doc_

_(June 20th)_

_2567_

Rue Tisserand

Paris, France  

 

His hands shook as he re-read the letter and he handed it to me.

“I…I…am I reading this right?!” His eyes were wide and he shook his head furiously.

“They want you to go to France?!”

“US EREN! WE ARE GOING TO FUCKING PARIS?!” I swallowed hard and looked over the address.

“And next week at that?!”

“WHAT?!” Levi yelled it as he snatched the letter from my hand. “HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. OH MY GOD. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!”

“It’s okay! We’ve got this!” I gave him a thumbs up. “Remember that time that Hanji almost forced us to go to Canada? Erwin made us all get passports the next day just in case. We’re fine!” He nodded and looked at me as he ran his fingers through his hair. It was growing again. Bit by bit. Slowly regaining the length it once had in the front. “I’m here by your side Levi. Remember? It works both ways.” Grey eyes connected with mine and the paper fell to the floor. “It’s okay….I love you Levi. I’m with you no matter what.” I pulled him into my arms and I just held him for a while, remaining silent as we just thought the situation over.

Paris. The City of Lights. The City of Love. One of the most famous cities in the world rich in art, history, culture and food. Hopefully we’d get to go home with a few good memories of the city. Only time would tell.

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trip to Paris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize. I've been dealing with a MAD case of writer's....eh...not really block but? I'm not sure?  
> I know exactly what I want to write but I've been so tired from work. And I've been working on my cosplay a lot O.o  
> I am trying my best though!  
> Encouragement helps!  
> Comments help! :3  
> A NEW interesting character is introduced! MWUAHAHA <3 Enjoy loves!

Eren's POV

“Okay, your medications are all packed in the carry on. The extras are all in there. How are you feeling?” He ran his fingers through my hair and brushed along my bandana. He was super stressed. If I couldn’t tell from the expression he was wearing, I could tell from the way he’d been running around the last couple of days.

“I’m fine Levi. A little tired, but that happens when you wake up at 3AM.” I smiled sleepily over my coffee mug and he nodded.

“MEEEEEOW.”

“I’M SORRY!” Levi pleaded with Kirara. “I’m sorry little girl! LOOK!” He bent down to look into her crate. “Daddies have to go away…again. FUCK. EREN!!!” I dropped down to the floor to see him frowning. “SHE LOOKS FUCKING SAD!!!” She was pawing at his finger through the bars.

“Levi. She’s going to miss us, but we have to go.”

“We don’t even know how long we’re going to be gone for!!” I rubbed his back as he stroked her paw. “I’m so sorry I’ve been a bad Daddy….” He yanked his phone out and started thumbing through it. “There… maybe that won’t make up for it, but you’ll have some fun with uncle Erwin.”

“What did you do?!” He showed me his phone.

“LEVI!!?” my mouth dropped open at the picture of the $350 cat tower he just bought AND had shipped to Erwin’s house…

“He can just bring it here when we get home! Right little girl!”

“Meeeew!”

“Right!” We heard a knock on the door and we knew it was time to head out. Levi slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and I grabbed mine as well, then we both rolled our suitcases out, giving one last glace to the apartment. Erwin took Kirara and we locked up the house.

 

Surprisingly, international customs wasn’t that big of a deal. Although, we had to transfer planes once we got to Chicago. We waited in the airport for our 11AM flight.

“Eren, you need to take your medicine. It’s 10:30.” I frowned at Levi, but nodded and followed him into the bathroom. I took off his Trost hoodie and rolled up my sleeve and waited as he wiped my arm down. I felt the pressure, then heard the drop into our little sharps container he bought for the trip. He packed back up and we walked back out to the waiting area by our gate. They let us board finally, and I took Levi’s hand as he led me onto the plane. “You okay?” I yawned and everything went a little fuzzy.

“Just…just tired.”

“Here.” He sat my carry on by my feet and adjusted the chair. They had paid for the step above economy at least. It wasn’t first class, but it was a little better. I heard his bag open, and the green blanket was being thrown over us. “Go ahead and rest babe.”

“L-Levi…” I felt my eyes shutting already, but I didn’t want to leave him alone. Not with a 15+ hour flight ahead of us. I felt an earbud being nudged gently into my ear and I sighed.

“Shhhh. Rest. I’ll take a nap with you.” His head was on my arm and I was quickly drifting off.

“Mhmm….” Not even the plane taking off woke me up.

 

Levi’s POV

Eren was sleeping peacefully against me, so I gently opened up my messenger bag and pulled out a sketchbook. I had a soft loop of piano songs playing, and my fingers were itching to sketch. I drew Eren’s sleeping form first, curled up against me under the blanket. Those intense eyes of his were next, in complete detail only from memory. Then last, I drew Nana. Those soft eyes, warm smile. I swallowed hard as I finished the last details. The locket she always wore around her neck. The silver bracelet around her wrist. All details I would never forget, but all items I never got to ask her about during that short but meaningful summer.

“Lee….” Eren wiggled against me and I shut my sketchbook.

“It’s alright. Rest a bit longer. We’ll be there in a while.” I stretched and after I packed my book away I snuggled up next to him and shut my eyes. The rest of the flight was pretty much uneventful. A shitty airplane meal and another nap, then we were landing in Paris. Hello jet lag from hell. Eren rubbed his eyes as we landed, waking up from round two of his medication. His body was finally starting to adjust, getting less and less sleepy each time.

 

“What time is it?” I strolled into the car rental area and picked up the predetermined vehicle we’d rented.

“It’s…1:30.”

“So we have to be there at 5pm?”

“Yeah.”

“And you…” He looked at the road and the swirling traffic. “Can drive us there…in that?” I looked at the car and nodded.

“I think.”

“LEVI!” I shrugged.

“We’ve got 3 and a half hours to make it across the city so hop in.” I put the address in my phone and started into the crazy traffic.

I followed the GPS down the French named streets, only getting turned around 8 times in the process. I parked the car and looked at the clock.

“SERIOUSLY?!”

“An hour and a half.” Eren groaned. “To drive…”

“15 fucking minutes. Screw this damn city.” I got out of the car and slammed the door.” Eren got out as well as shut his door. I locked the car and we stepped up on the sidewalk.

“That’s how it is around here, Levi.” I froze and turned around. “But I wouldn’t expect you to know that.” I heard a chuckle as I looked a few parking spots down to the red motorcycle that had just pulled in. I saw the driver hop off and hang his helmet over the handle bars. I’d know that grin and scruffy face anywhere. His long hair was a mess from the helmet.

“Kenny?!” My eyes went wide as I turned around fully.

“In the flesh pipsqueak.” He grinned at me and smiled. I stood still for a moment and he shook his head. “Too cool to give Uncle Kenny a hug? You haven’t seen me in what? Two years?” I frowned and broke from my spot on the sidewalk. His leather coat creaked as he moved, but I could only smile as he hugged me. I pulled back with a stupid grin on my face. Two black sheep, reunited in a foreign city. “And who’s this?” He motioned to Eren and I felt my face get hot.

“This is Eren Jaeger. My boyfriend.” Kenny reach out his hand to Eren with a broad smile.

“Hello Eren! Nice to meet you! Hope you make my Nephew happy!” Eren smiled sweetly and nodded. “And I’m guessing this isn’t a chance meeting here, is it little brat?” Kenny ruffled my hair and I shot him a glare.

“I guess not. You got a letter too?”

“Sure did!” The three of us walked inside and got seats inside the pre-determined room. Obviously we were super early, but we didn’t mind. Kenny straddled a chair backwards and started talking to us, and I saw Eren tapping his foot.

“Hey. Relax.” He frowned and I took his hand in mine. “Let me tell you the story of the two black sheep huh? I think he needs to hear it, don’t you Kenny?” Kenny nodded and looked at Eren with a warm smile. “Remember that shitty motorcycle I told you about?” Eren nodded and held my gaze. “This asshole is the one that helped me fix it up and keep it running. And he kept pissing my parents off. It was also this SAME great influence that talked me into getting my eyebrow pierced when I lived with my parents.” Eren’s eyes went wide and I smiled. Kenny just shrugged.

“Hey! I got my-“

“EREN DOESN’T WANT TO KNOW!” I held up my hands and stopped him. Kenny stuck out his tongue and flashed metal at me. “Really?! How much metal is in your body? How did you even get through the airport?!”

“I was wondering the same thing about you short stuff.”

“Tch.” Eren laughed and I raised my eyebrow.

“LEVI ACKERMAN. KENNETH.” My blood ran cold and I didn’t even want to look up. I held Eren’s gaze and gave his hand a squeeze. “What the fuck are you two doing here?” I heard the venom in mom’s voice and my eyes eventually looked up to her face. I stayed silent, refusing to utter a single word to either of them. I owed them nothing now. My school was paid for. I was free of them completely.

“The same reason you are. We both got letters.”

“Levi, you got a letter?” I stayed silent and held onto Eren’s hand, fiddling with the end of his hoodie’s sleeve on his other arm. “Levi Ackerman! Answer me when I am speaking to you!”

“Last time I sent him a birthday card, Levi wasn’t a kid anymore. In fact he’s what- 22 now?” I nodded and I watched Eren swallow hard.

“He’s still my SON Kenny! And what’s HE, doing here?!” She motioned furiously to Eren and I felt my neck getting hot.

“Mom. Don’t. Don’t start this.”

“Oh. So now you answer me? So tell me, Levi! Why is he here?! He’s NOT family! He’s just a piece of trash! A broke piece of trash at that!” My chair was flying back faster than I could stand up, pulling Eren behind me. Kenny, was at my side with a grimace on his face.

“That’s bullshit!” I barked. “Eren IS my family. He’s more of a family to me that you have EVER been. We love each other. Not that you can see that!” I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked over to see Kenny gripping it firmly. My hand was clenched around Eren’s, ready to explode.

“Obviously, money means everything to you scum.” He sneered. “So you look straight passed anything that REALLY matters. Love, friendship, fun. These two have something special. Hell, I could even see it as soon as I met them. It’s a permanent thing, and it’s a strong bond that I doubt anyone will be able to break. YOU assholes included. So leave these young lovebirds alone. Let them be happy. Dirt poor or not.” Mom looked furious and Dad looked like he was ready to pounce on Kenny.

“You’re always like that! Taking his side! Getting him into trouble! That’s probably why he’s like that!”

“Like WHAT, mom?” I glared at her and pulled Eren to my side. He tucked his head against my neck and I ran my hand down his back. She rolled her eyes and pointed.

“Like THAT! NOT normal! GAY!”

“YOU KNOW WHAT?!” I rubbed the nape of Eren’s neck and tugged his hair a little. “At least I’m not a miserable sack of shit like you! I’ll be JUST fine getting to kiss turquoise eyes here every day!” I winked at her before I pulled Eren down and claimed his lips in a hot kiss. I yanked him against me, and I heard Kenny cat call beside us and clap. It was a quick kiss, but it was enough to get my fucking point across. Eren’s face was blood red when we pulled away, and I was grinning as I tugged him back down to our seats.

“That was quite a show!” Kenny said with a chuckle.

“Yeah yeah. I’m tired of their shit.” I said lowly as I watched a man in a black suit walk in.

 

“Friends and Family, I’m here to read the last will of Clarisse Ackerman. You will be handed hard copies before you leave, but please listen for the stated items. She also has an opening statement before the items listen that she would like you to listen to. I also apologize for the wait, it was a struggle on behalf of the legal department sorting through the will, be we finally got everything legalized.”

_“Ackermans and friends. You are hearing this now that I am dead, but I hope that you aren’t grieving too much.”_

I looked at my lap as I felt my eyes begin to water. Fuck… I felt warm arms wrap around me and pull me against him… wait…A gentle heartbeat. Eren. I gripped his shirt and felt a tear slide down my cheek.

“S’ okay. I’m here.” Eren whispered it smoothly in my ear and I nodded. Kenny glanced back at me and gave me a pat on the back.

_“There are times when families are supposed to pull together. Times when families share. Form strong bonds. Share stories. Memories. But…that is NOT this family I’m sad to say.”_

I choked back a sob and Eren ran his fingers through my hair and wiped my tears away with his hoodie sleeve.

“Shhhh.” Soft soothing sounds. Soft touches. Delicate fingers.

_“I would have LOVED more than anything for it to have been, but greed took over. Wealth, status and appearances took front seat to everything else.”_

I shook my head against him, head sinking desperately lower into his lap.

_“There are, however two Ackermans that remained untainted by money. They visited me. They learned to enjoy life without wealth. They went against the grain and by doing so, they gained true appreciation for the things that REALLY matter. Like Love. Finding a soulmate. Loving your family. So I encourage you, Ackermans. Strengthen your bonds. Appreciate the family you have, because they won’t be there forever. That being said, here are the items I am leaving._

_To Kenneth Ackerman: You receive the house at 786 Wellspring Rd., US_

_You will also receive half of my estate._

_To Levi Ackerman: You receive my house in Paris. The address is enclosed. You also receive the other half of my estate._

_You both will receive two separate letters. Please open them in your own time, but do not wait too long. I love you. Nana Ackerman._

_There are a few close friends I have also left items to. Please read your additional letters. Thank you._

My heard pounded in my chest and I wanted to throw up. No way. NO FUCKING WAY. I sobbed in Eren’s lap and he leaned down to kiss my head.

“Levi, it’s okay. It’s alright.” I let loose everything that I’d been holding in. Every emotion. Every stress. I gripped his thigh and cried like a baby. I knew my eyeliner would be everywhere, probably all over his pants, but I could really care less.

“Little brat.” I felt my back being rubbed and I looked up to see Kenny reaching me a bubble envelope.

“I-I can’t. I can’t do this.”

“You can Levi! You are so strong.” I lifted my head up and looked at the tan envelope. It shook it my fingers, but I sat up and Eren pulled me right against his side. He wiped my cheeks with his sleeve again and I sniffled as I tore the envelope open. I dumped out the contents on the chair next to me and my eyes went wide. Keys. A fucking set of keys and a letter. FUCK. It was handwritten.

_To my precious Levi,_

 

No. I threw the letter aside and put my face in my hands. I couldn’t do this. I just couldn’t. A sob ripped through me and I felt my legs lift off my seat. I was placed on a warm lap and my body was turned. Pressed into a mass of heat. I clawed at Eren’s shirt as he guided my head down against his shoulder. His fingers twisted and stroked through my hair, but the grief still hurt.

“Levi…” His hair tickled my face as I buried myself closer to him. “Take your time. There’s no rush.” I furiously nodded against him and he pulled me back a little so he could press light kisses all over my forehead and cheeks.

“W-Will you read it? With me I mean…”

“Sure.” I turned myself in his arms a little and he reach for the letter. He picked it up and held it in front of my eyes. I wiped the fresh tears from them and began again.

 

_To my precious Levi,_

_I’m sorry that it’s come to this. I didn’t want to tell you that I was sick. You mean too much to me and you have great things ahead of you. I can just tell by that fiery look in your eyes. I wanted to gaze into that fire until my last day. I’m sorry if I hurt you._

 

I paused and Eren wiped my face with his hoodie again. I shook my head in disbelief. How could this be happening?

_I hope that you have found someone. If not, I hope you find someone one day that loves you for who you are. That accepts every little quirk you have and loves you all the same. That’s truly something to cherish, Levi. If you have found someone like that by now, then hold onto them. You have my blessing and know that I am so happy for you. I want nothing more than to see you smiling and happy._  


My hands shook and Eren hugged me tight with his free arm. I was so thankful for Eren. He was everything I had ever dreamed of and he came into my life at the most unexpected moment, but I would never willingly let him go. My thoughts were spiraling out of control and my pulse was speeding up. Too much information was being thrown at me at once and I just couldn’t process. All I could do was cry and hold onto the one stable thing that I had there in the room. Eren. He wasn’t going to leave me. Abandon me. Nana. A Letter. A house. Eren. So many things. So many-

“Captain…” My eyes snapped up and Eren pressed a firm kiss to my lips. “It’s going to be alright. I promise.” He dropped the letter gently and crammed his fist between us and over his heart in a salute. I swallowed hard and nodded.

“I…get it…” I wiped my eyes and he ran his fingers through my hair with a soft smile. “I have to be brave…”

“We both overcame so many obstacles and hardships during the past Levi…” he stroked my cheek gently and I nodded as I looked into memorizing pools of turquoise. “When you were my Captain…and here and now. We are strong together. We’ll make it through.”

“You’re right.” I felt my tears slow a little and I grabbed the letter again.

_I have enclosed the keys to my house here in Paris. I know you want to go to college. You have so many plans, and they may not include staying here in Paris. But I do have this one request. Keep the house here in Paris and visit every now and then. I want you to learn more about the city and culture I fell in love with. I want this to be a place you can go to and relax and have fond memories. Take your half of the estate and use it wisely. Of course I encourage you to splurge a little, but take care of yourself. Buy a house somewhere. Pay off school._

_While you are here, please stay a couple of weeks and get to know Paris. Take a vacation and enjoy yourself. Visit the museums. The cafes. The bakeries. Enjoy life._

_I will always love you for who you are Levi. Don’t ever think that I won’t. Keep working hard to achieve your dreams. With all my love. Nana Ackerman._

“Well…” Kenny cleared his throat as I rubbed my eyes and hugged myself closer to Eren “What did yours say, Levi?”

“S-She actually left me a fucking house here.” I held up the key in my shaking hand and shook my head in doubt.

“I guess I got her old house back in the US.” Kenny held up the other key with a warm smile and I nodded. That house held so many memories for me. I grew to become the person I am today in one short summer in that house. “And of course you guys can visit any time.”

“Where were you before Kenny?” I cleared my throat and wiped any remaining tears off my face as he started tucking away his own letter.

“I’ve been driving around the US. Sort of living the vagabond lifestyle. I guess Mom knew that.” I nodded and looked at the gentle smile across his face. “But, I think it’s time to settle down.”

“So what’s the address, Levi?” Eren looked at the silver key in my hand with the red keychain attached to it. The address was written on the keychain. I reach it to him and he put it in his phone. “It’s…here.” He showed it to me and I nodded. Like I had any idea where the fuck anything was in this town.

“That, is smack dab in the center of traffic.”

“How do you-“

“I got here a week ago. And I learned early that a car is NOT the way to travel. Not that I like to travel by car anyway.” I raised my eyebrow and he pointed at the red bubble on Eren’s phone. “See that bubble? That’s right around Notre Dame and the Louvre.” Eren’s eyes went wide and he held up the key.

“The Louvre!? Notre Dame?! LEVI!!!”

“Nana has a house there?!”

“Ditch the car and I’ll take you.”

“So you want us to get a bike?!”

“It’s the only way to travel in this city without spending the whole trip in traffic, Levi.” Kenny stood up and tucked his envelope inside his jacket pocket, then zipped it up.

“I haven’t been on a bike in years. Let alone with a passenger!”

“Then let Eren ride by himself.” Kenny winked at me and I stood up and grabbed Eren by the hand.

“Fuck that! Not in this city! On a vehicle he’s never been on?! He doesn’t even drive back home!” Eren’s eyes went wide as I tugged him along. We followed Kenny to his parked bike at the curb and we hopped in the car. After what seemed like an hour’s drive. (It may have been longer with the way my nerves were wrecked, we arrived at the bike rental shop. I called the car rental company, which luckily spoke English, and they came to pick up the car.

Luckily, there was a housekeeper at the will reading that worked for Nana that offered to take our bags over for us, so we didn’t have to worry about those. I tipped her quite a bit, just in case, but I had a feeling that if she cared about Nana like I did, she’s be right there at the house waiting for us. Even if she wasn’t we had the necessities in my messenger bad slung over Eren’s shoulder.

Somehow, after struggling with the butchered English of the man that owned the bike shop, we managed to find a bike that I could touch the ground on that would also hold a passenger. It was bigger than my old bike back home when I was younger, but there was no way I could haul us both around without the extra power and extra seat. We rented two helmets and two jackets. Luckily my boots were fine. Eren on the other hand, would need a pair. We’d have to stop at a shop tomorrow and get him some. For now though, rest was definitely something that needed to happen. We were exhausted.

“Do you remember how to ride, short stuff?!” Kenny joked as he hopped up on his own bike.

“Tch.” I shook my head and looked at the sport bike in front of me. “Of course.” I swung my leg over the bike, started it up and kicked the stand up. “Go ahead babe. Those back pegs behind me-“ I motioned behind my legs. “Those are yours.” He nodded and I felt the bike give under his weight a little.

“W-where…how?” Turquoise peered at me through the open visor of the helmet and I grinned, though he probably couldn’t see it. I reach back for his hands and pulled them around my waist.

“Hold onto me. Tight. Don’t let go.” I felt him press himself against me and grip onto my waist. I nodded as Kenny looked back at me and he pulled out of his parking spot and began lurching onto the street. It had been years since I’d been on a bike. Not to mention I’d never been on one this size. Eren’s arms were warm around my waist, but it was also a constant reminder that his life was in my hands. One wrong move could sit us both in the hospital.

I accelerated gently, getting a feel of the bike and my heart throbbed. It was just like I remembered, but even more of a rush. This was a lot nicer than my shitty old bike I had all those years ago. This was powerful. Not to mention my teal eyed beauty was wrapped around me.

Those calm thoughts were short lived as Kenny began to lane split when we hit heavy traffic. Eren’s hands dug into my ribs and he held on even tighter as I followed him through the middle. Sure enough we weren’t sitting at the stop lights. We hit a straight stretch and Kenny opened up the throttle. I panicked, afraid I was going to lose him. I tapped Eren’s leg, signaling him to hold on and I hammered on the throttle. I zoomed through the gears and I didn’t dare look down at my speed. I caught up to my crazy Uncle before I knew it and he waved at me as we caught up, just in time to make a couple of turns. I looked in my mirror and Eren’s helmet was pressed into my back. I wonder if he was looking around at all?

Kenny was motioning towards something ahead of us and I looked up. There it was! Notre Dame! I patted Eren’s leg and pointed up. He couldn’t hear me while we were moving, because the roar of the engine would drown out our conversation, but hopefully my motion would catch his attention. I saw him raise his head up and he even let go to lift his visor up. Bright turquoise reflected in my mirror and he pointed up at the beautiful piece of architecture. His arm returned to me to hug me tight and we took another couple of turns.

Kenny pulled into a parking garage and I followed him, letting Eren jump off the bike first. I got off next and we started pulling off gear. The sun was already starting to set. To be honest, this day was already over. We were ready for sleep.

“This is it, little brat.” Kenny said as he patted my shoulder. I pulled the key out of my pocket and nodded. At that very moment, thunder rumbled in the background and I gave Kenny a frown. “Those clouds were looking bad when we were riding over…” He gave his bike a pat and smiled.

“Just come inside, Kenny. I’m sure there’s a place for you to hang out until the rain passes.” He beamed at me and followed us inside. We made our way into the elevator and I hit 8. The top floor. The doors opened and we stepped out. So…this was an apartment? I took a deep breath and pushed the key in the door and turned it in the lock. The door swung open and we were met by our bags in the living room. The apartment was spotless and something smelled delicious.

It was styled a lot like Nana’s other house, but there was something else about it. There were paintings everywhere. The walls were a light green and there and were huge windows facing out towards the other side of the street.

“Levi! This is beautiful!” Eren ran into the apartment and stood in front of a painting on the wall. I smiled at him and nodded.

“It is. I guess it’s our second home now, Eren.” He turned to me as a blush spread across his face and smiled. Then something caught the corner of my eyes. A drawing. A familiar drawing. One I had done YEARS ago.

I looked at the tag underneath and it had my name and the summer I had completed it beside it.

“Wow! This is yours?” Eren beamed at me and I nodded.

“She must have had it framed and shipped it back here.” I smiled and I gently stroked the edged of the frame. Delicate pen and ink flowers danced inside the frame and I thought of Nana’s smile the day I gave it to her. I felt Eren tug on my arm and he pulled me over to the window. The warm rays of the sunset pooled through the sheer curtains and we looked outside with wide eyes.

“LEVI!!!” He pulled me closer and nearly climbed up on the window sill. “LOOK!!!!” I grinned as his eyes lit up. There, right in front of us, just across the river and illuminated brightly by the sets of lights beginning to turn on for the night, was the Notre Dame Cathedral. It was stunning lit up like that against the slowly fading sunset.

“It’s gorgeous, Eren.” He looked over to me, smile never fading from his face.

“Yes! I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“I’ve seen something just as gorgeous.” I said with a smirk as I tilted his chin down. His cheeks lit up and he blinked a couple of times, before I pulled him down into a kiss. Warm lips met mine and I couldn’t wait to taste him. He was sweet, and his tongue meeting mine was soft, luscious. Just as always. I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. _Thrum thrum thrum._ We were both excited. Excited about the new place. The new city. The new adventure. We might as well dive in head first and enjoy it. Make new memories. This is what Nana wanted after all.

I heard a click of a camera and we broke apart to see Kenny wink at us and chuckle. He snapped one more picture with his cell phone and Eren went blood red.

“I want those!” I said with a smile.

“Same number?”

“Yeah.” I felt my phone vibrate twice and Eren dropped his face in his hands.

“Leviiiii.” I ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek. I started unzipping the motorcycle jacket and threw it on the couch, then Eren and Kenny did the same. We went in the direction of the delicious smell and found a covered casserole dish setting on the counter.

_Mr.Ackerman._

_I put your bags by the door. I also made this for you for dinner. I hope it’s okay. I know the first day in the city can be a little tiring. There is a bottle of wine to go with it in the fridge, along with a few other things. If you need cleaning service, just give me a call. My number is on the fridge. Thanks!_

 

Kenny lifted up the aluminum foil and all three of our mouths fell open at the cheese covered delicacy. Eren grabbed three plates and forks. Kenny opened the fridge.

“Holy shit!” I turned around and looked at the fridge. It was fully stocked. I grabbed two cans of soda and Kenny gave me an odd look. “Seriously Levi….Soda?!” I shrugged and sat the two cans down on the table.

“I don’t drink Kenny. Neither does Eren.”

“This is the city of wine!!!” I raised my eyebrow and shook my head.

“And? That doesn’t change anything. We are both on medications that don’t go well with alcohol. So no.” His eyes went wide and he held it up. “Go for it.” He grabbed a wine glass from the cabinet and poured himself some. Eren sat beside of me and opened his own soda and we dug into our own plates. REAL FOOD.

 

30 minutes later, Kenny had 3 glasses of wine down and he was a bit wobbly on his feet. Eren was laughing at his cheesy jokes and I kept shaking my head.

I stood up and kissed Eren on top of his head. Time to scope out the rest of the house. A bathroom out by the living room. That was good. I walked back through the rest of the house. It was a small apartment, but we were used to close quarters. What did you expect this close to Notre Dame? I opened the final door at the end of the hallway and surprisingly there was a spacious bedroom with a kind size bed. All white linen, sheer curtains, just like in the living room and now, I could see Notre Dame lit up through the window just as clearly but it was a stark contrast against the night sky.

There was a large closet at the end of the room and to the right, I opened the door to find an attached bathroom. It was completely updated. Sure maybe it was a few years old, but it was beautiful, just like the rest of the house. I searched through the closet and luckily I found some extra pillows and a blanket.

I walked into the kitchen to find Eren and a sleepy Kenny sipping on the last of his wine. I tossed the extra pillow and blanket onto the couch, just as another roar of thunder shook the building. Drops of rain started bouncing off the windows and Eren looked at me then to the couch.

“Kenny, it’s been a long day. Crash on the couch for tonight. We’re heading to bed.”

“Sounds like a plan!” He gave me a thumbs up and stumbled a little over to the couch. Eren chuckled and I saw him wince slightly. I walked straight to him and took his hand.

“Babe…”

“I know…I waited too long.” I grabbed a bottle of water as well as my messenger bag and pulled him into the bedroom, sitting him down on the edge of the bed. I kneeled down in front of him and dug through the bag.

“Sip on this. You look hot.” He smirked and ran his fingers through his hair, snagging them on his bandana in the process. He frowned and pulled it loose, revealing the patch of missing hair.

“You always say I’m hot.” I rolled my eyes and dug out the supplies from my bag. I tossed my phone on the table, putting on a random song to calm both of our nerves. It had been a very hard day for both of us.

 _Through the darkness and broken glass_  
I'll come for you, if you only ask  
And there I'll stand  
Just for you

 

“Yes you are sexy all the time, brat. But your face is a little flushed. Not from blushing either.” He sipped on the water and I unzipped his hoodie, freeing his arm. I rolled up his sleeve and wiped his shoulder down with the alcohol pad before I gave him his shot. He looked away as I did, just as he always did. “All done.” I pressed a kiss to his lips and threw away the trash, being sure to throw the needle away in the container. I went into the living room and grabbed the two suitcases, dragging them into the bedroom and shutting the door behind me.

 

 _A million miles between our lives_  
Can't keep us apart from our grieving hearts  
Sealed with love  
God speed my darling

  


“Levi…” I looked over to Eren and he was sitting on the bed, just as I had left him, arm out of his sleeve and starting at me. “Will you come to bed?” I cocked my head to the side and walked to him, slipping his hoodie off and laying it aside.

 

 _For your name_  
I'm calling  
For our love  
I'm falling... on my knees

 

 

“Of course. Are you feeling alright?” He nodded and hugged me around my waist.

“I just want you here with me…”

“Okay…” I started stripping off my clothes. I felt gross from the day of traveling. I really wanted a shower, but Eren looked exhausted. And I knew what happened when his medicine mixed with exhaustion. My shirt and pants hit the floor and Eren’s followed. He pulled me up onto the bed and that familiar scent surrounded me. Warmth, love, trust. Eren. Arms wrapped tight around me and pulled me against him. I gave in, resting my head right against his chest.

_And if you cry,_

_I'll hold your head up high_  
I'll be there by your side  
I will be your guardian angel

 

 

“Levi, I’m always here for you…” I swallowed hard and nodded against his chest, tracing circles against the tan skin in the moonlight shining through the windows.

“I appreciate that.”

“You don’t have to be so strong all the time.” I felt my shoulders tremble and his fingers swept through my hair.

“I-I have to…”

“No, you don’t. You can’t keep it bottled up. Levi, we are partners in this. You can’t bear the weight of the world or you’ll crack. We have to take care of each other.” I snuggled closer to Eren and I felt the muscles of his arms flex and tighten around me, securing me against him.

_And if you cry,_

_I'll hold your head up high_  
I'll be there by your side  
I will be your guardian angel

  


 

 

“I love you! I love you so much it hurts.”

“I know. Shhhh….” He kissed my forehead as the tears started. “I love you too.” I clawed at the skin of his chest and he rubbed and kissed whatever part of me he could get his fingers and lips on.

 

 _In the garden of lonely love_  
I'll wait for you, 'till the time will come  
When I see you smile  
Just for me

  


 

“And I loved her! And she, she believes in me! She believes in us!” He nodded and I just shook my head. “This is so hard…” I felt his fingertips ghost over my shoulder and he ran them through my hair again.

“We’ll get through this Levi. Together. We have each other. She wanted us to discover the city and make memories, so that’s what we should do. We should honor her wish. I want to see you smile just like she does.” I choked on a sob and my fingers dug into his shoulder.

 

 _Love and loss embrace the pain_  
You can't hide your tears in the rain  
I'll be there  
Just wait my darling

  


 

 

“O-Okay….” Closer. Closer. Closer. How was he pulling me closer?

“Levi?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Thank you…”

 

_And if you cry,_

_I'll hold your head up high_  
I'll be there by your side  
I will be your guardian angel

  


 

“For what?” I looked up at him with tears rolling down my cheeks and he wiped them away.

“For not pushing me away.” He kissed my forehead, then both cheeks, and finally my lips. “You talk to me now. You don’t shut down anymore and that means the world to me.” He gave me a tired smile and I licked my lips before I crashed our lips together.

“I couldn’t do this without you.”

“I would have never made it this far without you, Levi.” He grabbed my hand and his ring flashed in the moonlight. My heart began to calm and my tears slowed as his fingers caressed my face and ran through my hair.

_And if you cry, I’ll hold your head up high_  
I'll be there by your side  
I will be your guardian angel

  


 

I could hear his heartbeat right in my ear, along with him whispering the words to the song and exhaustion was setting in. I knew Eren was getting sleepy as well. His medicine had to be kicking in. One glance up told me he was. His eyelids were heavy and a sleepy smile only further confirmed it.

“Rest.” I whispered it. Barely audible along with the thunder and rain outside and the song playing on the phone.

“Only if-“ he yawned and smiled as he did. “Only if you do.”

“Okay.” I shut my eyes and nuzzled up next to his chest again, feeling him wrap the blankets right around us. The fresh smell of laundry detergent drifted around us and I smiled as I yawned myself and fell into a dream faster than I had imagined.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple's second day in Paris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya go! ^.^ 
> 
> Hopefully, questions will be answered now :3 About what happened with Levi's parents at the reading of the will.
> 
> The two songs are Nemesis-Cradle of Filth  
> Dance D'Amour- The 69 Eyes
> 
> Comments PLEASE (I'm a comment junkie T.T) LOVE ME ;)

Eren’s POV

I awoke to the sound of light snoring beside me. I rubbed at my eyes and watched Levi snuggle closer to me. He looked stunning, even with his bedhead and dark circles. He was still my one and only. My Levi. My prince. I kissed his forehead and he let out a small sigh. I looked over at the clock on the wall. 10:15. Fuck...

I frowned and kissed his shoulder. He moved a little, but he was still half asleep. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t wake him up. Not after the shitty day he had yesterday. After everything… I kissed the top of his head and ever so gently slid out from under him. He slid into the mountain of pillows on the bed and I pulled the covers up over him. He made no other movements, besides grabbing for the pillow and I couldn’t help but smile at him. He was perfectly adorable, even though he would never admit it.

I pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt then grabbed my medicine and supplies. Maybe….UGH. Why was this so frustrating? If Kenny wasn’t here, I’d have to do it myself. Not that I really even trusted Kenny with a syringe but… I left the bedroom and headed into the living room, finding Kenny sitting in front of the TV.

“Morning Eren.” I felt myself fiddling with the bag in my hands and I looked at the floor.

“G-Good morning.”

“What’s with that face? Who ran over your puppy?” I laughed nervously and held up my bag.

“Ugh…you can absolutely say no but…I didn’t want to wake Levi. He’s so tired and yesterday was really crappy for him and…could you give me my shot?” He cocked an eyebrow and scooted over on the couch, patting the cushion next to him. I sat everything out on the coffee table and measured out the exact amount in the syringe just like Levi had taught me.

“Wipe you down and stick it in?” He said with a giggle.

“Don’t make it sound like that!” I cracked a smile and he rolled up my sleeve and started wiping my arm down. I looked away and I felt him jab the needle into my arm. Fuck. FUCK. FUCK. “OUCH!” I squeezed my eyes shut as he pulled it out and tossed it in the sharps container.

“Sorry kid. I’m probably not as delicate as Levi. You’re done though.” I looked over at my arm and rubbed it until the stinging stopped. Heart rate. Yeah. That. That needed to slow down. Kenny wasn’t trying to hurt me. He was just shitty at this. I swallowed hard. Rubbing over my arm again and again. He snapped in front of my face and my attention shot back to him. “Earth to Eren. You zoned out.”

“Sorry…I ugh…Just…” I took a deep breath and let my arm drop down.

“Want to make some breakfast for sir snooze a lot in there?”

“I really don’t know how to cook anything besides microwave dinners.” I frowned and Kenny just laughed.

“Well get your ass up off the couch and I’ll give you a lesson then!” I followed Kenny into the Kitchen as he began rummaging through the fridge. “Grab some jam out of the pantry.” I nodded and opened the door. “OH OH MY. YES. Put that on.” My eyes went wide as I pulled the apron off the hook.

“This?”

“Yes. Levi will love it.” I slid it over my head and tied it around my waist. I expected the ruffles to be stiff, but they were surprisingly soft. I shrugged and grabbed the strawberry jam.

“So what do I do?”

“Start by cracking the eggs.” He showed me how to properly do it and I carefully began to crack them. “You know…Levi did have a pretty rough day yesterday…” I frowned as egg number three hit the bowl.

“Yeah…” Egg number four wasn’t so lucky. I ended up fishing egg shells out. “I hate to see him hurting like that. I know he really loved his Nana. It was nice of her to leave him all that she did.”

“Such a shame the way his parents reacted though.” Kenny watched me as I cracked the 5th egg perfectly.

“I’m sorta of glad he was too distracted to hear them. It broke me apart to see him crying like that, but….” I shook my head and went back to work. Distracted…right. More like fucking wrecked. I had tried my best at sheltering Levi away from the cruel world while he bawled his eyes out. From his loathsome family that did nothing but cause him hurt. The only one that really cared was Kenny. I could still feel the way his tears soaked through my clothes that day and it made me cringe. “They are assholes. No offense.” I grimaced as I cracked the last egg and began to whisk them together like he had told me to do.

“No, I completely understand.” He pointed to a loaf of bread on the counter and had me cut it into slices and butter it, then place it neatly on a baking pan. He made his voice high pitched. “Glad you got everything you piece of shit, because you are officially out of our will! Hmph!” He ended it with an eye roll and an overly elegant hand on his hip.

“They are fucking aristocratic homophobic pieces of-“

“WOAH EREN. Beat the eggs. Don’t murder them.” I looked down at the frothy eggs and frowned. “Well at any rate, hopefully they are on a plane back to America. The way they stormed out, we can only hope so.” I mixed in peppers, cheese, and ham and started cooking the eggs. I flipped them, only when Kenny had told me to and plated the omelets. They didn’t look half bad! I pulled the toast out of the oven and started putting jam on the tops. I heard a clatter behind me and I turned around to see Levi standing in the kitchen with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. His phone was on the tile floor. Thank god for phone cases.

“What in the-“

“Good morning Levi!” I gave him a huge smile and held up a plate. “I made you breakfast!”

 

Levi’s POV

What the actual fuck? Eren. In a frilly pink apron. Smiling over an omelet? Oh….was that my phone? Shit…

“Levi?” He sat the plate down and walked over to me, picking my phone up and slipping it down in my PJ pants pocket.

“U-Ugh…” STOP STUTTERING. Shit. “You….You made breakfast?” I raised an eyebrow and he took my hand, leading me over to the island.

“Yulp! Kenny taught me how!” I sat down on a stool and he slid a plate in front of me. He placed a piece of toast with strawberry jam on top on the side of my plate and kissed my cheek before hopping back over to the other side of the kitchen. Damn that pink apron…fluttering around. Not to mention those short shorts…Where the hell did he even get those? Fuck this was a good omelet. I destroyed it in no time and started on my toast. Kenny ate happily beside me and Eren stood beside me and ate. I pushed my plate aside and gave my thigh a pat.

“Come here.” His eyes went wide and he timidly sat on my lap. We both ate the remainder of our breakfast and I even managed to snag another piece of the delicious toast before Kenny said his goodbyes.

“I’ll be around for a couple more days. Have fun you two! Enjoy the city.” He let himself out, leaving Eren on my lap.

“Hello.” I saw red creep down his neck and up towards his ears and I smirked.

“Hey…”

“Breakfast was delicious.” I hugged him tight around his waist and he grinned.

“I’m glad you liked it.” I started kissing his neck, licking and sucking lightly. “Mhmm…” I could go for this. Laying around in bed. Maybe watching a movie or two. Maybe Eren could pull me out of this mood after all…

 

_A friend in needs a friend indeed,_  
A friend who bleeds is better,  
My friend confessed she passed the test,  
And we will never sever.

“That ringtone Levi…” Eren smirked and I just giggled.

“Hello?”

“ANIKI! Get on Skype! NOW!” The line went dead and I sighed. Really. Right fucking now of all times. Right when I have this chocolate haired beauty on my lap in this frilly pink apron and-

“So we need to get on Skype?”

“Fuck…I guess so.” He hops off of my lap and unties the apron. I visibly frown and he chuckles.

“If you like the apron that much, I can always make dinner in it later, Levi.” I perk up a little at that and follow him into the bedroom. Luckily there is wifi in this building and we connect easily enough. Signing into the computer and cuddling up in bed to get adjusted before we make the call. We share a few short kisses before we actually do call them.

“ANIKI!!!! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!?!”

“Sorry! We were getting the internet set up.”

“LIES!” Isabel was on the verge of laughing and I could see the background Anteiku. “Anyways we have a few people here! Look!” Erwin and Armin waved. Jean made a kissy face at the camera and Isabel turned it back towards her. “SO! How’s it going? HOW’S PARIS?!”

“It’s…it’s alright.”  


“ALRIGHT?! YOU ARE IN FUCKING PARIS!!! What about the Louvre?! The Eiffel Tower? The Arc de Triumph?!”

“Relax!” Eren said as he help up his hands in protest. “We only got here yesterday and it was a busy day. And we are still trying to decide what to do today so…”

“GO DO EVERYTHING!!!”

“We are probably going to stay for a while.” I said finally as I nervously took Eren’s hand in mine, running our fingers together. “Nana left her house here to me and her wish was that we experience Paris so…” Was that a screech? I think it was. Isabel hopped up and shoved her face in the screen.

“WHAT ABOUT JAPAN?! WHAT ABOUT-“

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE ISABEL! IT’S A DAMN VACATION! IT’S NOT LIKE WE ARE GOING TO LIVE HERE!” Her face relaxed and she took a step back. I heard the laughs around her and she laughed as well. “Speaking of relaxing, you need to. Ms. Mommy to be. Let’s see the baby bump.” She blushed and stood in front of the camera, and we could see the small bump showing.

“Tell her to start taking it easy Levi!” Farlan popped into the picture and pressed a kiss to her tummy. “The baby is wearing her out and she still insists on trying to do everything.”

“You need to rest more, Isabel. Let Farlan take care of you. He did this to you after all.” Farlan’s face went red and he laughed nervously. “So take it out on him. Make him rub your feet. Make him do all the hard work. Just sit back and eat. Watch TV.”

“Got it Big Bro!” She gave me a thumbs up and turned the screen to Armin and Erwin who were sipping on hot chocolate while they were cuddled up on the couch reading a book together.

“Ugh! Hi guys!” Armin’s cheeks turned pink and Erwin kissed the top of his head. “Be sure to visit all the places I text you about, Eren! Don’t spend all your time in the Louvre! There are tons of other museums!” He grinned and Erwin nodded.

“Kirara loves her new cat tower by the way. It was a pain in the ass to put together but…” Erwin shook his head. “They’ve been playing on it like crazy.”

“Awesome!” Eren grinned and I couldn’t help but lean over and kiss his cheek. Jean leaned into the screen and smirked.

“Bring me something awesome back!”

“Will do!” Eren smiled and waved again. The camera turned back to Isabel, who was sitting back on the couch again, with her legs up on Armin’s lap.

“Alright Aniki! We just wanted to check in. Keep Eren safe and put a monkey back pack on him if you have to! You may lose him in the Louvre!” She winked at us and waved. “Be good! Love you guys!” We both laughed as she blew us kisses.

“Love you too!” We said it in unison and my heart fluttered a little. My own family. Screw having one that didn’t give a fuck about me. I had a family. This one DID care about me. This one DOES love me. The call ended and Eren pulled me against him.

 

“Hey…” He blushed again and I pushed the laptop onto the nightstand.

“Hey there turquoise.” I brushed my fingers through his blue bangs and he smiled, leaning into my touch.

“You’re warm.” He pulled the covers closer around us and we snuggled together.

“Mhmm, so are you. Wait! Your medicine! We need to-“

“Already took it.” My pulse slowed for a second and then guilt swept over me.

“You…I’m sorry.” His hands crossed over mine, sweeping through my short locks as I played with his.

“Levi, you were exhausted. I just couldn’t wake you up. I had Kenny give it to me.” I nodded and kissed his forehead.

“I appreciate everything these late couple of days. You’ve really been there for me, Eren.”

“We’re a team, Levi.” I let out a sigh and simply let myself relax against him. It was quiet here. Peaceful aside from the little bit of traffic noise outside, but that wasn’t anything we weren’t already used to.

“I feel gross…”

“Shower?”

“I don’t want to move.” Eren chuckled softly and rubbed my shoulder.

“Well it’s either one or the other. Shower or be gross.” I groaned and held on to him tightly. “Come on cranky. Get up.”

“Nooo.” I frowned as he pulled me out of the bed and drug me into the bathroom. The shower was on before I could protest any further and Eren was stripping off my clothes. My body ached. Everything ached. I was so tired. Like every ounce of energy had been stripped from me even though I’d slept for so long.

“Let’s take a shower together.” He smile was brilliant as he pulled his shirt over his head and stepped out of his shorts and boxer briefs. We were naked in a matter of seconds and I was being tugged into the tub. For once, I had no drive. For once…. I just let myself sink against Eren. Sink into his open arms and feel. Feel him wrap around me. He pressed kisses to the top of my head, while his fingers played at the base of my neck. Tickled at my undercut. I just let out shallow breaths against his chest, trying to hold the broken pieces of myself together.

He had told me yesterday that I didn’t need to be so strong. That I could fall and rely on him, so…. I squeezed my eyes shut and brought my hands up to rest on his hips. The only distance I could will myself to move. His skin was warm and wet, more than comforting and the beat of his heart against my ear added to that comfort. To that protection. I always thought that Eren was the one that needed protected, that needed my help, but maybe…. Maybe we really did need to rely on each other.

 

“I love you, Levi.” I nodded against his chest. Fully able to process the words and feeling my chest swell with the warmth and love they provided, but I was just so tired…so…I gripped his hips a little tighter and his arms around me when slightly more snug. His hand ran down my back and I dug my face into his chest. I just wanted to be held, to be…Fuck…I didn’t want to disappoint Eren, but…. “Hey….what’s wrong?” I opened my eyes to see him looking at me with concern filling his eyes.

“J-just….can we…take it easy this morning?” I felt guilt take over, but before it could last more than a couple of seconds, he was tilting my chin up and capturing my lips in a warm kiss. Touching our foreheads together and pulling me closer.

“We can do whatever you want today.” He gave me one of his classic smiles and ran a hand down my chest.

“How about lazing around and watching anime?” I huffed against his chest as I asked for the obvious and he chuckled.

“ONLY if I get to hold you while we do?” I nodded against him, as the water sprayed down over the both of us and I wondered how I ever got so lucky. He was so patient with me. So….I heard a bottle pop open and his fingers were sliding into my hair, massaging my scalp slowing. Taking every bit of time in the world. There was no rush right now, and that meant everything to me. Eren was taking care of me, to every extent of the word possible.

After he quickly washed his own hair he rinsed us both and started gently washing me, from head to toe. He even went the extra mile to rub my shoulders, letting the hot water pour onto the tight muscles as he did at the same time to relieve some tension. It was hard to say how many times over I’ve fallen for him by now. I watched the soap wash down the drain as Eren held me from behind and worked on washing and rubbing every inch of my back. That was definitely a feat, considering how close he was up against me.

 

 

“vi….Levi.” My eyes opened as I felt him kiss my jaw. “Wake up sleepy head. Let’s get out and snuggle up.” I nodded and rubbed my eyes. Surely I hadn’t dozed off. I did feel pretty relaxed but…. The water stopped and I felt a towel wrap around me. Eren dried me off and just shared my towel. He ruffled my hair with it, making it stand every way imaginable and then dried his own, streaking the white towel with blue. I smiled softly at it as he tossed the towel aside and pulled me back into the bedroom.

He tugged me under the sheets and into his arms with absolutely zero protest from me. The laptop was pulled onto the bed next and he was flipping through Crunchyroll.

“What do you want to watch?” He was rubbing gentle circles on my shoulder and I just shook my head. Hell, we could watch the shittest anime ever and I could care less right now. “Hmm….how about…this?” I looked at the teaser picture of the two guys crossing swords. “It’s called Owari no Seraph.”

“Sounds good to me.” He started it up and pulled the blankets up to our chins. This was more than I could have ever asked for. I felt safe and cared more. Comfortable in a new environment that was more than terrifying to me. Eren’s arms wrapped around me served as my constant reminder that I didn’t have to be scared. That I didn’t have to worry. He was here. He’d always be here.

 

 

 

“Fooood.” He groaned. I cracked my eye open. “Leviiiii food. Pleaseeee.”

“Okay okay.” We had paused the anime a half an hour ago to take a break, but neither of us had bothered to get up. Eren had just wrapped his arms around me tighter and tangled our legs together. My mood was lightening up a bit a least. “Mhmmm….why are you so warm?” He grinned and kissed my cheek.

“Not my fault. So, dinner in our dinner out?” I looked outside and frowned. It was still sunny out, so we had time to throw on some clothes and go out for a while. But that would actually take motivation… I groaned and buried my face against his neck. I felt so fucking guilty. So guilty for trapping him inside the apartment all day in Paris of all places because I was feeling down in the dumps. But there was his fingers in my hair, as comforting as ever, then those soft lips burying kisses in my dark locks. “Levi, if you don’t feel like it-“

“No. We’re going. Now.” With an immediate tug I pulled him out of bed, taking most of the blankets and sheets with us. He grinned and as we stumbled forward. I watched as the final sheet fell from around his waist and my eyebrow cocked up. “Well then….” His face went red and he pulled me against him.

“You didn’t have a problem with me being naked a little while ago!”

“I still wouldn’t BUT someone was complaining that they wanted to go out.” He beamed at me and nodded. His hair was a mess, but it was an adorable mess. Maybe I could tame it. “Come on, brat.” I tugged him towards the suitcase and we started digging through our clothes. I saw the ruffles timidly resting in his fingers and I raised my eyebrow. “Eren?”

“I….is this alright?” I peaked in the suitcase at the skirt resting in his fingers. He had a small frown on his lips as he brushed his thumb over the ruffles and lace. I pulled the skirt out the rest of the way and his eyes lit up. Purple and black spilled over the edges of the suitcase and I smiled as I ran the soft fabric through my hands.

“Go for it. You look gorgeous in anything you wear. Especially this.” I dropped the skirt into his arms and pressed a kiss to his forehead before I started digging for my own outfit. I settled on a black button up and black skinny jeans. Eren was setting out his own outfit on the bed. I could see him piecing it together, bit by bit. Thigh high dark purple socks, the black and purple skirt and black shirt. He stepped into a pair of black boxer briefs and then pulled up his socks, before he stepped into his skirt.

“Ugh….Levi…” I looked over at him and his face was turning red as he held up his shirt. “C-Can you…tie me up in the back?” I nodded as he slipped on the tight shirt, black ribbon laying loose behind him. This was definitely a new one. I wonder if Mikasa had bought it for him. The ribbons in the back were purple and I tightened them just enough to be comfortable and look nice. Just like corseting.

“How’s that?”

“Fine. Thank you.” He looked delicious. I could toss him back on the bed right this second and be fine with not eating a single thing, but…

After we brushed our teeth, I attempted to comb his hair, but it was still a curly mess of bed head. He just shrugged and tied it back with his turquoise bandana like he’s been getting used to, covering up the missing chunk of hair.

“Levi….” His hands fell to his sides and he frowned at me. Woah…This wasn’t a big deal. Not at all.

“Babe…you-“ He ran his hand over the scar on his forehead. His crazy curly bangs having no part in covering his mark today. Note to self: Track down a straightner for him. His eyes dropped to the sink and his breath caught in his throat. Fuck. I could see the tears threatening to break free from his eyes. “Eren-“ He gave my hand a squeeze, and I could feel the tension in his movements.

Fuck this. Fuck his apprehension. Eren was beautiful. He just needed to see that for himself. I took his hand and pulled him back, spinning him towards me. There was only a split second where I saw his eyes widen in surprise, before I shoved him back against the sink. He let a small moan escape as I forced our lips together. My hands roamed on their own, own wrapping itself around Eren’s back and the other creeping it’s way all the way down to his thigh, playing with the edge of his thigh high sock. Our tongues danced and I pushed him back, catching my arm right against the sink. I pulled pack, breathing right against his mouth and his eyes were still wide in shock.

“Listen to me-“ I said in barely a whisper, lips brushing against his in between words. “You. Are. Beautiful.” He let out a trembling breath against my lips and squeezed his eyes shut. “Look at me Eren! I’m serious. I will only ever have eyes for you.” His eyes popped open and a tear slid down his cheek.

“B-But I’m-“

“No buts! There are no exceptions! My heart can’t possibly hold any more love or fondness for you. You are the definition or gorgeous for me. From head to toe.” He let out a whimper and sank against me. “Remember what I said before? Scars are a sign that you have survived, babe. And I’m fucking thankful for this one.” I kissed the scar on his forehead gently. “I was terrified that I would never get to…” My words hung in my throat and I shook my head, but I pushed forward. “Never get to tell you how much you meant to me again. Or kiss you or…or have a real future with you.” His arms tightened around my waist and his lips crashed against mine, heated and wanting. I could feel the wetness on his cheeks and my own tears were threatening to spill free, but I wouldn’t let them.

“Levi…” He gasped my name as we broke apart. I wiped his tears away and I pressed another kiss to the scar. “I…I never thought about it like that…” I gave him a small smile and took his hand in mine. “I’ll try not to hate it. It’ll take some time, but…if you can love it then I’ll try my best to.” I grinned and pulled him right up against me.

“I love everything about you.” His face went red and he gave me a small nod before I kissed him again. Soft and sweet this time. Eventually we pulled apart and forced ourselves to slip on some shoes and head out the door. We decided to walk to wherever we were going to eat.

“When did the sun decide to set?” Eren frowned as he laced our fingers together. The orange casting over the streets was beautiful, but it was a little scary. It was our first time roaming the streets and it was going to be night soon. Fuck. The street lights were already flickering on and Eren was tucking himself closer to me. After a good 10 minute walk past a few clothes shops and a bakery that was already closed for the day, we started hearing the loud thump of bass in the distance. At a cross street, we peaked down an alley. There was a bar nestled in the back of the alley, with some black painted brick on the outside.

I gave Eren a stern look, but he pulled me in the direction of the bar. Black Dog was written across the door and there was a menu on the wall. I shrugged and Eren tugged me inside. This kid was going to get us killed one day.

_Tonight is the night_  
The empowering wind that draws breath from despite  
Roars 'neath my wings as I soar with the end in sight

 

Eren’s eyes went wide as he took in the atmosphere. Black and red everything, with metal pumping through the building. I tugged him over to the bar. Hopefully we’d be welcome. We were smiled at by a young redhead and handed menus.

“Bonjour garçon mignon.”

Eren’s eyes went wide like he was about to panic, but I laid a gentle hand on his thigh.

“Sorry, we only know English. Well…and a little Japanese if that helps at all.” I smirked and she smiled.

_Choirs ignite_  
A swansong for Leda  
Deathknells for Troy  
Tragedy blooms from one act  
I am nemesis

 

“So, not from around here then?” I shook my head and Eren’s face was starting to turn pink. “Tourists usually don’t come to The Black Dog.” She grinned and I nodded.

“We aren’t normal tourists. We didn’t come here solely for a vacation.” I shrugged and I felt Eren’s fingers grab onto mine. “It was more of someone’s wish that we enjoy the city to our liking.”

“Ahhh, I see. So this is the type of place you enjoy then?” I nodded, stroking the soft fabric of the skirt.

“Yeah. It seems about right.”

_Poured in my arms_  
When my daughter's eyelids closed  
I swore to slaughter those  
Who stole my ray of moonlight

 

“Well, you’ll be glad to know just over there-“ she motioned to a set of stairs to the right. “Is a set of stairs that leads to the downstairs area. There is a dancefloor. Well, two actually. If that’s your thing also.” She winked at us and Eren grinned at me.

We ordered hamburgers and French fries (exotic I know) and finished up like we’d been starving. Laying around in bed all day will do that to you.

“So…” I laid some money on the table as Eren spoke and he brushed his fingers over my hand. “Want to go downstairs?”

 

_So strike up the skies_  
The diction of thunder  
God-given rites  
No fiction can deafen the fact  
I am nemesis

 

“Like I could say no to you.” I brought his hand up to my lips to kiss it before hopping down from my stool. I grabbed his hand and lead him through the crowd. We looked down the steps and made our way downstairs. Metal was playing in the first room, and that was obviously no surprise, so we wandered into the second room. It was a little calmer. People were pressed up against each other, hand roaming freely and moving with the pace of the song. A man with green hair stood in front of us and looked Eren up and down with a grin. I pulled him closer to me.

 

_Your lips shine like Paris_  
Mon amour  
A toi toujours  
Ma chérie

 

“Haven’t seen you around here before.” His accent was thick. “If you get tired of him, come find me cutie.” He said with a wink.

“Fuck off!” I growled as I tugged Eren through the crowd. His face was bright red by the time we reach an empty spot to dance.

“Don’t worry about him, Levi.” Eren pressed his lips against my neck and I let the tension loose from my shoulders. “We both know I’ll never get tired of you.” I ran my hand down his back and felt the ribbon of his shirt under my fingers, soft and silky. Beautifully elegant.

_But your tears bring a little London for me  
Berlin can never be so cold as you reach_

 

“It still pisses me off when people look at you like that. You’re mine.” He let out a small chuckle against my neck and let his hands rest on my hips.

“I’ll always be yours. You’re so protective.” We started swaying with the music. The deep voice of the song echoing through the room.

_Baby,won't you dance with me into the night  
to the serious moonlight_

 

“I can’t help but be protective over you. You’re the only one I’ve ever given my whole heart to…” I heard his breath catch and he simply nodded against my neck. We moved with each other, and I occasionally let one hand roam. It swept through his hair, down his neck, stroked down his back, cupped his ass, all the way down to his thigh and stopped right at the edge of those thigh high socks that were driving me wild. I felt him breathing heavy against my neck and he pressed a kiss where his lips were resting on my skin.

_Brighter than the stars above you shine  
And the loving feels alright_

 

That kiss turned into a lick, then another and another. All this was probably driven by the fact that I kept stroking right above the hem on his thigh highs.

“L-Levi…”

“You’re driving me crazy-“ That last lick turned into a tiny suck. Then his mouth was practically clamping down on my neck as I snuck my hand under his skirt, squeezing his ass. He pulled away and switched positions, licking and nipping just a few inches over. Fuck. I tugged him off of the dance floor and we managed to find a couch. Eren had that look in his eyes, like he was ready to eat me up right here. He hopped onto my lap, pretty much not giving a fuck if his underwear was showing to the world or not. I straightened his skirt in the back, and he fucking whined against me, lips latching on to my neck again. He was grinding against me to the thrum of the song and I was about to lose it.

_Give me the moment that the world won't need_  
Ce soir  
Tu es à moi  
Ma chérie

 

 

I pulled him closer, feeling a jolt through my jeans as he rubbed against my hard on and I brought our lips together. Eren was everything I could ever want. And I wanted him closer. His mouth was warm and sweet and the song just made my heart ache for him.

_But your fears ain't no strangers for me  
Morning can never be so cold as you leave_

 

“B-Babe-“ I gasped after I broke the kiss and my lips landed on his neck. I sucked my own mark onto his flushed skin and he let out the cutest little moan. Then his own mouth was snaking back down to my neck, to my collar bones to my-

Eren jumped and my eyes popped open. Green hair was standing behind him with a smirk on his face. Eren’s face went bright red and he ducked his face down in my neck.

“Levi….”

“THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” I gently let Eren fall to the side of my lap and stood to face green hair.

“I was just taking part in the action. It seems like he’s a filthy little whore anyways.” I felt my blood boil as he made a squeezing motion with his hand.

“I’ll fucking kill you-“ I drew my fist back, but it was caught.

“Levi!” I looked to the side to see Eren frowning at me. “Just….how about we get out of here?” His frown turned into a small smile and I shot a glare to green hair.

“You’re lucky, you bastard.” He made a shooing motion and Eren just gave my hand a pat and loosened my fist up and laced our fingers together.

“He’s just jealous, Levi.” Eren nuzzled up against me and I felt myself relax. We made our way to the exit and the heavy door shut behind us. What an asshole.

“I was going to beat the shit-“ Eren crashed his lips to mine and pressed me up against the brick wall.

 

_Baby,won't you dance with me into the night  
to the serious moonlight_

 

“Shhhh…” My heart was pounding. We could still hear the song playing from the inside of the bar. We were near the back exit in a dimly lit alley. The buildings were ‘classic french’. A cheese shop, another bakery and a florist were towards the end of the road, but they were all closed for the day. “I’m fine. Just…” He grabbed my hand and ran it down his back. Lower, and lower, and lower until I was cupping his ass again. I gave it a squeeze and his face was falling to my shoulder again, lips reaching for skin and finding my neck to nip at. “Just replace his touch with yours.”

 

_Brighter than the stars above you shine  
And the loving feels alright_

 

His breath was hot and it sent shivers down my spine. I felt like a teenager again, groping my boyfriend against a wall at the back of a bar. I felt him practically melt against me and I couldn’t control myself anymore. I flipped us over and pushed him up against the wall.

“L-Levi-“ Eren’s face was flush, even in the dim lighting, I could see that. My hands were moving on their own again, as if hypnotized by this beautiful creature in front of me. He was squirming against me, making these wonderful little noises that I couldn’t resist. “Please.” With that one little word, it was over. A switch was flicked in my brain and my mouth attached itself to his neck again. He was thrusting against my thigh, practically begging for any kind of contact. My hand snaked its way under his skirt, and I gave him a squeeze through his underwear, eliciting a moan from him. He was rock hard, bucking into my hand. “Levi! Please just…” His head my slammed against my chest and his hand grabbed at my own hard on. He looked back up at me, eyes filled with want. “Please…just…fuck me, Levi.”

_Dance with me into the night  
to the serious moonlight_

 

“Here?” I raised my eyebrow and he nodded as he gripped my shirt.

“Please. Please, please, please.” He sounded so needy and I completely gave in. I could give two shits if we were caught. We were in a country where no one knew us. I yanked his underwear down and he stepped out of it, letting it fall to the bottom of one foot. He grabbed my hand and brought it to his mouth, sucking a couple of fingers inside.

“Mhmm, someone’s excited.” His face was hot and his mouth was nice and wet, tongue swirling around my fingers. I used my free arm to lift his leg up and hold it around my hip, then I popped my fingers free from his mouth. “Ready, love?” He leaned back a little against the wall and nodded, looking at me with hazy eyes. My finger pressed in and his moan echoed throughout the deserted alley.

_Brighter than the stars above you shine  
And the loving feels alright_

 

“Nnn. Hnnn,” He reach for me, using my shoulders to brace himself. “P-please!” He was bucking against my hand again, those devious little movement making me throb in my jeans. I kept pushing my finger in gently, in and out, making him squirm against the wall. “More.” He was breathless already. Already wanting more.

“Are you sure you’re ready for another?” I teased him while I kept finger fucking him. His hand tightened into my shirt and he whimpered again. I finally gave in, pressing another finger inside. Another moan shook through him and I kept stretching, kept focused on his whimpers and hypnotic sounds. “Fuck Eren. You’re so gorgeous. You like that don’t you?” He groaned as he pushed back on my fingers.

“Y-yes. P-Please. Keep going.” I felt my cock twitch. Eren turned me on more than he knew. “M-More.” I scissored my fingers and he cried out, voice drifting through the dark street. I added a third finger, stretching him just so, making sure he was perfectly ready.

“That’s it, babe.” He was panting as he fucked himself on my finger.

“PLEASE LEVI!!” He was desperate now, throwing his head back and pulling on my shirt. “I NEED YOU.” He yanked my shirt so hard that the first two buttons popped off, but the both of us could really care less.

 

_Dance with me into the night  
to the serious moonlight_

 

“Alright.” I tugged him forward and let his leg drop for a moment. I unzipped my pants and tugged them down with my underwear to my mid-thighs. I was achingly hard for my wrecked beauty. So ready for him.

“Le-vi.” He dropped to his knees and his mouth was on me before I could protest, tongue swirling and licking. My knees felt weak and I nearly had to brace myself against the wall to keep myself from falling. FUCK. With a pop, Eren pulled back and hopped back to his feet. “N-nice and wet.” Holy shit. His pupils were blown wide with want and those turquoise eyes that I loved so much were darker than normal, from the lust flowing through his system.

“Holy fuck, Jaeger.” His back was to the wall again and his leg was right around my hip again. I pressed his skirt out of the way and pressed myself up against his entrance. The loudest moan yet ripped through him, and I gripped his leg and hip tight and I seated myself deep inside, staying still until he adjusted. He was breathing hard, holding onto my shoulders again. With a jerk of his hips and a whimper, I knew he was ready. I pushed forward and he sighed, throwing his head back against the wall.

 

_Dance with me into the night  
to the serious moonlight_

 

I gave into my desires, picking up his other leg and just hoisting him up completely. He cried out as I gripped onto his legs and slammed into him, pushing him back against the wall.

“LEVI! FUCK!” I heard the odd scrape of fabric against brick and I yanked Eren’s shirt off. He whimpered as I tossed it on the sidewalk. I didn’t want his beautiful shirt to get torn apart by the brick after all. The ribbons had all ready come undone, but they were left in a pile with his shirt on the side walk. Long forgotten. He was moaning and grabbing at my shoulders, grabbing at the wall, anything he could hold onto as I slammed into that sweet bundle of nerves. “PLEASE! HNNNG!” With one more tilt of his head against the brink wall, his headband got caught and pulled out of his hair, falling to the ground behind him. I could really care less. Eren was mine. No matter what his hair looked like. No matter his scars. I just wanted him closer. Closer. Closer- OH! I groaned as a wave of pleasure shook through me. Eren’s teeth nipped at my collar bone and his mouth traveled down my chest, using my newly opened shirt to his advantage, sucking a few more marks wherever he pleased in between moans.

 

_Dance with me into the night  
to the serious moonlight_

 

That was…until we heard the door open. His eyes went wide and I held myself right over him, protecting him from whoever decided to intrude on our intimate moment. FUCK. Fuck fuck fuck-

“Well look at you two. Ha…” It was the red head from the bar. She rolled her eyes at us as the heavy door slammed behind her. She slung her purse over her shoulder and began walking down the street, away from us. “And they said that love is dead.”

Eren’s face was blood red, but he chuckled into my chest.

“Damn brat.”

“Come on Levi, she’s long gone.” I shook my head and grinned, shoving hard into him, making him shiver and moan. I picked my pace back up, pressing right into that warmth that I craved.

 

_Brighter than the stars above you shine  
And the loving feels alright_

 

“AGH EREN!” I pushed my forehead against his and crashed our lips together, nails digging into his thighs. Closer. CLOSER. I could feel that tight burning starting already, and by the way Eren was desperately kissing me, he wasn’t too far away either.

“B-BABE.” He yanked my shirt again, popping the rest of the buttons off. Fuck. I heard them hit the ground and I hissed as his nails scratched against my chest, all the way down my abs. It just fueled the fire in my hips, bucking and thrusting forward with one job. Make that gorgeous teal eyed boy underneath me make more of those wonderful sounds. And that he did. Whimpers and cries spilled from his lips like a song. He started screaming almost as I kept up my pace, slamming into him with everything I had.

_Won't you run away..._  
Won't you run away...  
  


Finally with one final scream that I was sure shook the windows of the dark little alley, Eren came between us with a shudder, shading and throbbing around me. I held him through it, rocking him gently, then I picked my pace up just for a few moments as I reached my end as well. I emptied everything I had into him, nipping at his shoulder and sighing, before I let him down. He stumbled and I caught him in my arms, both of us breathing heavy.

 

_Won't you...  
Won't you run away!_

 

“Eren!?”

“S-Sorry…” He had a sated smile on his face, but a look of embarrassment remained on his features as I leaned with him against the wall. “Legs…”

“Hard to stand?” I grinned as I held him and he simply nodded. My fingers were combing through his hair and I leaned down to pick his shirt and underwear up off the ground. He pulled the shirt on with my help, and somehow managed to slip on the underwear after a few tries and with me holding him up. I pulled up my pants and zipped them before I asked “Can you walk?”

“Not sure…” His face was bright red now. I could see it glowing under the nearest lamp post and I took his hand in mine and tried for a step. He stumbled with wobbly legs and let out a chuckled as he fell back against the wall and right back into my arms.

“I guess I fucked you pretty good then?”

“No shit.” His voice was practically gone. Oops…

“Your voice…” He smiled and I reach down for his bandana, stuffing it into my pocket. He swallowed hard and hugged me tight.

“Worth it.” He chuckled against me and I snickered.

“You’re a mess, Jaeger.” I knelt down and he stood against the wall. “Hop up. I’ll piggy back you home.” Another chuckle and long legs were wrapping around me with a groan. It was another 10 minute walk back, but thankfully we made it without getting turned around or running into trouble.

I let Eren down on the bed gently and began stripping him. Holy shit. My eyes went wide as I saw the aftermath.

“Babe…”

“My hips are still a little sore…” he frowned and I shook my head.

“Eren. Why didn’t you tell me about the wall scratching you like that?!” I ran my fingers along his arm and I was scared to look at his back. I had to. I had to take care of him. He shrugged and I looked behind him, taking in the red blotchy skin. Some of the scratches were deeper than others, but the skin was definitely irritated. There were streaks of blood in some spots.

“I didn’t mind it at the time.” I started pulling off his skirt and socks and kept looking over him. Dark purple marks were all over his neck and shoulders, even a few dancing across his chest. I threw the rest of his clothes in the floor and pulled mine off, tugging him into the bathroom with me. The shower was turned on in a matter of seconds. We may have showered earlier, but Eren needed taken care of….he needed soothed…he needed…

“Levi.” My eyes shot up to his as I tugged him under the spray. He let out a sigh as the water ran over his back. “Listen to me, I’m not upset about it. That was some of the best sex we’ve had.” He pulled me close and his chin was on my shoulder. His voice sounded like it’d been run through the shredder, and he seemed so tired. So drained. “I absolutely love that I can lose myself with you like that. So don’t doubt yourself.” I felt my heart throb and nodded. “It’s what makes it so special. I can give in completely and just…let you take me away.” He sounded breathless and pulled back to give me a soft smile. “That’s from all the trust I have for you, babe. And all the love.” His chin was back on my shoulder and I was letting the warm spray pour over the scratches again. Eren was right. I shouldn’t be doubting this. If he didn’t like it earlier, he would have said something. I trust him just as much as he trusts me. I nodded and began washing him gently.

Once his cuts and scrapes were scrubbed and all of my scratches were cleaned up as well (he insisted), we finished up our shower and I dried him off. I found some ointment in the medicine cabinet and rubbed him down with it as he braced himself against the sink. He smoothed a thin layer onto the scratches he’d given me, and I helped him back to bed.

Eren groaned as he climbed into bed, and I turned off the lights, leaving only his night light on. I smiled and pulled the covers over both of us, tugging him right into my arms.

“Fuck…my hips.”

“Sorry love.” He chuckled and kissed my neck.

“Sorry about making you look like a love sick teenager.” I rolled my eyes at him in the dark.

“I don’t mind one bit to wear the marks you give me.” He let out a sleepy yawn and snuggled closer against me.

“Levi?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we do touristy things tomorrow?” I chuckled and kissed his forehead.

“Anything for you babe.”

“Goodnight Levi. I love you.”

“I love you too, Eren. Sweet dreams.” And with that his scratchy voice settled into silence and his breathing evened out. I was finally becoming okay with staying in Nana’s house. In Nana’s favorite city. I would learn to enjoy this, because this is what she wanted and it was slowly becoming one of the things that I wanted too. To enjoy Paris with the love of my life. The turquoise eyed beauty resting here in my arms.


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Paris!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I want to say thank you for 20,000 views!! AGHHH  
> Secondly I want you guys to GO LOOK AT THIS AMAZING FAN ART  
> [RIGHT HERE](http://xxdeja-uchihaxx.tumblr.com/post/122136890255/ihasmagic-i-got-bored-so-i-decided-to-make) by [iHasMagic](http://ihasmagic.tumblr.com/) (That I've forgotten to post the last couple of chapters! I'm sorry!)  
> And last I want to thank my beta Erwin from  
> [cozzinccosplay](http://cozzinccosplay.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Songs are  
> Come What May- and Nicole Kidman  
> You are my Hope- Skillet  
> Your song- Ewan Mcgregor (originally by Elton John) ;)
> 
> PLEASE COMMENT GUYS!!!  
> ENJOY THIS LONG ASS CHAPTER O.O  
> *Falls over as I enjoy the fond memories of my own trip to Paris and the streets of Montmatre*  
> Those damn steps though...

Levi’s POV

7AM. Seven in the fucking morning and Eren was dragging me out of bed. Fuck. He looked so bright eyed and ready to go. I couldn’t resist. He had on a survey corps t-shirt and a pair of jeans, and today he was sporting a black bandana headband. I slipped into my own blue jeans and decided to match him with an SNK shirt. Two otakus going out to explore Paris on their own. Whatever could go wrong?

“Ugh…Levi?” I sipped my coffee over the kitchen island and Eren rubbed my hand nervously.

“Yeah?” I raised my eyebrow and took a big gulp.

“Well…I was looking for a basket for our lunch today…” He was frowning and rubbed the back of his head. “And I found something in the closet that you should look at.” I set my mug down and followed him over to the closet in the living room. I’d assumed that it held extra blankets. Maybe a vacuum. Possibly some canned goods. Eren sighed and opened it up. There was a wooden chest inside and yes, a vacuum beside of it. My name, however was written on the tag attached to the chest. Eren took my hand and I gave it a squeeze.

“Let’s just…save this for later. Okay?” I shut the door and he nodded. Both of our messenger bags were packed. His was packed with the lunches he’d made us for the day, which might I add was fucking adorable. It may have just been sandwiches and chips, but I would eat anything Eren made me. My bag was packed with sketchpads and pencils, and pretty much anything else we’d need for the day.

We made our way down to the street, hand in hand and Eren snuggled against my side.

“How are your hips?” I smirked and he elbowed my side.

“Still a little sore, but I’ll manage. I’m ready to see Paris.” He looked at the map on his phone and we kept walking forward.

“Lead the way, turquoise.” He kept pulling me forward for a few minutes, until we reach a bridge. OH MY GOSH.

“YOU KNOW THIS BRIDGE RIGHT?!” He asked with an excited voice. There were thousands of locks on each side, and countless couples taking pictures and holding hands as they strolled across.

“The Pont de Artes?” I said in disbelief. But… I eyed Eren with a grin and pulled him into my arms. We may not have a lock to add to the thousands, but I would sure as hell lock his lips to mine. He let out a little moan and his arms wrapped around me, right in the middle of the bridge.

“Levi….” Our hands were inseperable as we looked over all the locks, taking pictures of each other and pictures together. We even managed to get a sweet American couple to take a picture of us together on the bridge. “So….I knew we would be coming here.” Eren’s cheeks were turning red as he shuffled through his bag and pulled out a lock. My eyes went wide as he slipped the lock into my hand. It was old and elegant. It had to be an antique. He had painted the wings of freedom onto the lock, in perfect detail. I looked at the lettering. Levi and Eren. Hope and Strength. I felt my stomach knot up and I pulled him right up against me.

“Fuck babe…” I almost didn’t want to lock it up here, but I knew we would always have the pictures and the memories of this day. “It’s beautiful, Eren.”

“Thanks. I wanted to make it special…” He was fumbling something in his hand and I caught sight of the key, shining in his fingers. “I…well I know lovers usually toss the key into the river…” He looked up at me with a soft smile, and took the lock from me, replacing it with the key, which had been laced onto a turquoise cord. The key was a perfect match to the lock. Antique and aged with the years, but still silver and elegant. He had braided it in a similar way to the way I’d braided his leather necklace. “I…I’d rather…I think it would be better if you kept it.” I smiled at the key in my hand and practically pulled Eren into my lap. Fuck. He knew how to make my heart melt.

“I love you.” I whispered it against his lips, kissing him again and again and again.

“Love. Nmm-too.” I didn’t want to break apart, but he was turning maroon now, and perhaps it was from lack of air, so I did. We found a spot for our lock, and snapped it on, then Eren clipped the new necklace around my neck. It fell perfectly into place, and I couldn’t help but think about how just a short while ago I was wearing his key, hoping and praying that he would come back to me.

Our hands were back together again and we were on our way, walking to wherever Eren was leading us. We stopped at what he claimed was the halfway mark for a coffee, which was ridiculously expensive, but it was a pretty good coffee and we just people watched for a while.

We started back on our journey, starting up a HUGE hill.

“FUCK. What’s with the incline? And the strip clubs? And bars?” I looked around us at all the strange shops and Eren laughed.

“Guess it’s just the area.”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise!” He tugged me along and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re ridiculous, brat.”

“LEVI!!!” He gasped and I just about crashed into him. I looked up to see a bright red windmill, spinning lazily against the blue sky. WHAT?!

“It’s-“

“THE MOULIN ROUGE!!!” He ran to the front and pointed up. I smiled and picked him up in my arms, spinning him around.

“IT’S THE REAL ONE!!!” I said as I held him up high, so he could snap a great picture. I made someone take a picture of us together in front of it so we would have the moment forever in a picture and I stood there for a moment with him in my arms.

“I can’t believe it….” We stood there, arms wrapped around each other as we watched the brilliant red windmill spin. My cheeks were red, and my heart was pounding, but….I could do this. I didn’t have to worry about embarrassing myself in front of Eren.

 _Never knew I could feel like this_ __  
Like I've never seen the sky before  
Want to vanish inside your kiss  
Every day I love you more and more

I sung it low, and right against his ear, just for him. Just for the love of my life. He clung to me and I saw him swallow hard. Turquoise eyes lit up and his mouth dropped open.

“Levi…”

 _Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings?_  
Telling me to give you everything  
Seasons may change, winter to spring  
But I love you until the end of time

A soft breeze blew through the street and Eren beamed at me, gripping my hand tight. His lips were pressing kisses to my cheek and jaw, and I could feel him smiling against my skin.

 _Come what may_ __  
Come what may  
I will love you until my dying day

Then suddenly….I heard his soft voice sing right against my neck and his cheek burn against me.

 

 _Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place_  
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace  
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste  
It all revolves around you

I held him close and we rocked together back and forth and we sung to each other. Just enjoying the breeze, the warm sunshine and the beautiful site in front of us. Not to mention the warm bodies wrapped around each other.

 _And there's no mountain too high_ __  
No river too wide  
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side  
Storm clouds may gather,  
And stars may collide

Eren looked up at me, eyes full of love and emotion and gave me the biggest smile. My heart warmed and I hugged him even closer to me as we kept singing together, looking straight into each other’s eyes. The rest of the world floated away.

_But I love you (I love you)  
Until the end of time(until the end of time)_

_Come what may_  
Come what may  
I will love you until my dying day

We ended our song with a deep kiss and our fingers were laced together again.

“I was never really happy until I met you, Levi…” I leaned our foreheads together and pressed another kiss to his lips.

“Same here, Eren. A piece of me was missing. I guess…fate brought us together. Well…” I looked at the key around his neck and smiled. “Brought us back together I should say.” He grinned and hugged me even tighter.

“Come on Captain! Let’s go!” He winked at me before I was being tugged towards the street again. More incline. What a surprise. We kept walking up and up and up until we reach…the bottom of a HUGE set of stairs.

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, BRAT?!” I looked up to him with my mouth hanging open.

“Come on Levi! Just…a few at a time?” I looked up at the huge church at the top of the stairs and sighed. Eren was so excited and ready to go. He took my hand enthusiastically and I reluctantly gave in, stopping for a brief kiss before we started our descent on the steps from hell. We stopped halfway, so we could catch a quick peak at the view and so I could snake my arms around Eren’s waist.

“So….this is the Sacre Coeur, right?” I leaned my head to the top of the stairs and Eren nodded excitedly. “Which means….this is Montmartre. Nana told me about it before. The artist’s city. She said Picasso used to have a studio here. It was famous.” A family of four almost bumped into us, so we moved out of the way, apologizing and receiving smiles from the family.

“Mommy, they were hugging?”

“Yes, honey.”

“Boys can hug like Mommy and Daddy?”

“Yes, Sweetie. Anyone can fall in love. That’s how love works.” I heard them ascend even further up the steps and as I looked into Eren’s eyes at the words and my heart felt warm. Like we were actually accepted for once. I brought our lips together in a brief kiss and heard a giggle.

“LOOK! They even kiss like you!”

“Sarah! Don’t stare!” She giggled again and I felt her small laugh fade away. Eren’s cheeks were bright pink, and I have to say mine weren’t warm from the climb of the stairs.

“So, love…” I ran my fingers through his hair, a lot more manageable today than yesterday. “How about we call that restaurant and see if we can eat there today?”

“WHAT?!” I pulled out my phone and google searched until I found it, then called the number. Of course they answered in French, but I was quick to say that I only knew English. The only time slot they had open was for 8:30pm, which was a little late to be out on the streets that they didn’t particularly know, but hey, you only get to eat in Picasso’s studio once.

“So how are your hips holding up kid?”

“Levi!!!” He pouted at me and I winked. “I’m fine!” I chuckled and kissed his cheek. “LOOK! I’ll fucking prove it to you!”

“What in the hell are you-“ Eren kneeled down in front of me and I just crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. “You’ve got to be joking.

“GET ON.”

“NO. We’ll both roll all the way down the 300 fucking stairs to the bottom. Fuck no.”

“LEVIIIII!”

“Fuck it! If you drop me Jaeger, I swear…You’ll get fucking litter box duty for two months.”

“I WON’T DROP YOU!” He looked back at me with those brilliant eyes, shining in the sunlight. I sighed and adjusted my messenger bag, turning on my playlist and slipping it into Eren’s pocket before I straddled his back and threw my arms around his neck. He held onto my legs and I buried my face into the nape of his neck. Fuck….his hair really was getting long. And it smelled great. And he was warm. And strong. There was no way in hell Eren was going to drop me. “See? Stronger than I look! I’ve got you, babe!” His voice echoed through my body and I pulled myself closer to his back. I smiled into his hair and shook my head.

 

_You are my hope_

“You’re an idiot…”

“I’m your idiot! Ready! Only…well 150 to go I guess!” I felt him take a breath and I held on tight as we started climbing the stairs again. I decided to move my head to Eren’s shoulder instead so I could watch everything around us. FUCK. He was jogging up the steps. I could feels his muscles flexing against me.

“Don’t over do it.”

“I won’t!” We flew passed the family with the little girl and she let out a wild giggle. He slowed down to a fast walk to catch his breath and I buried a kiss against his neck.

 

_You are my strength_

 

“So Levi, which Picasso is your favorite?” I mulled over the question. It was really difficult…

“I like Girl Before A Mirror.”

“We saw that one in New York didn’t we?”

“Yeah we did. What about you?

“I like Guernica.” I nodded and looked forward. Holy shit. Eren ascended a few more steps and set me down gently at the top. “We made it!!!”

“You’re a fucking beast!” I hummed it low in his ear and yanked him down into a kiss. “Hope you’ll have some of that strength for later.” He pulled back with a red face and nodded.

 

_You're everything  
Everything I need_

 

“I should!!!” His smile was wide and he was blushing all the way down his neck. “Look at this view Levi!” We looked out over the scene and I almost fell apart. It was amazing. And the best part about it was that Eren was here to experience it all with me. I felt arms wrap around me from behind and lips press against my neck. “You can see the Eiffel Tower.” I nodded and placed my own arms over Eren’s. He was so warm from the hike up, but I was absolutely in love with everything about this moment. I had NEVER seen a view like this. Not in a million years, and I don’t think I’d ever see one like this again. I felt glued to the spot. I didn’t even want to move to take pictures. I just wanted to linger there in Eren’s arms forever. Now I knew. I completely understood why Nana loved this city so much. The beauty. The love. The whole feeling of Paris.

_You are my hope  
You are my hope_

 

“Eren.”

“Yeah?”

I wasn’t thinking rationally. My brain was fried. All I could feel were Eren’s arms and his warm breath on my neck. I could hear his soft voice in my ear and felt my own heart throbbing away in my chest. Aching to ask. Yearning. Just… I knew Nana would approve. She wanted me to be happy. She wanted me to… I pulled Eren to the railing so we could look over together, but so he could also face me. I had his hand locked into mine, but I also had to look into those beautiful pools of turquoise. He swept his fingers through my bangs and I couldn’t help it as a bright smile snuck it’s way onto my lips. This was pure happiness. This was it. Eren was smiling too, as he brought his thumb down to stroke my cheek.

_Carry on and I sing of how  
You love and I love you now_

 

“Marry me?” His eyes went wide and his smile widened as his thumb froze on my cheek. I could see the tears welling up in his eyes. “There’s no one that I ever want to be with. You’re it for me. My soulmate. I’ve known it since we met, but now…seeing this…being here with you… I want to marry you here.” I looked into those shimmering eyes of greens and blues, about to fall apart.

 

_All the times that I start to sink  
You come and you rescue me_

 

“Yes. Like I would ever say no.” His voice cracked as tears started pouring. I yanked him close and buried my face into his chest. I didn’t bother to hold myself back. I just held onto him, reaching up to curl his hair around my fingers.

“You are my world, Eren. M-My Hope.”

“Mine too, Levi.” His voice was barely a whisper as he crushed me against him. “I love you so much.”

 

_You are my hope  
You are my hope_

 

“I love you too. I love you Eren.” I grabbed onto his shirt and didn’t let go. I didn’t care if people were watching, because at that moment, it was only us. I was buried in Eren’s arms. In my safe spot, no matter how shitty the world was to us and he had his face nuzzled against my neck.

“You’re my Strength…m-my Captain.” At those words Eren looked up at me and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll follow you to the ends of the Earth, Levi.” I rubbed at my wet eyes and let out a little nervous laugh.

“So much for Humanity’s Strongest. I’m crying like a baby.” Eren tilted my chin up and brought our lips together, pressing me right up against the railing. I could feel his arms wrapping right back around me, supporting me, so I felt like I wasn’t going to fall.

“Levi, everyone’s allowed to cry. Especially happy tears. It’s good to be happy!” He was beaming at me, lashes soaked from the tears we had cried together. “I know I’m soaring on clouds right now! Y-You…” He swallowed and shook his head before leaning down to kiss me again. He pulled back to whisper his next sentence right against my mouth, his breath dancing against me. “You’re going to be my husband and…and I’m so happy. I…I just want that more than anything.” He ended his sentence with another kiss and I couldn’t help but feel the corners of my mouth twist into a smile. His energy and his happiness. Everything about Eren was infectious. Not that I wasn’t happy to begin with.

“Eren Jaeger-“ I grabbed a hold of his hips and whispered it hotly in his ear. “I can’t wait for the day when I can call you my husband.” I kissed his neck, right over a familiar purple mark that was just a couple of days old and he shivered.

“Mhmm, then you won’t be able to call me Jaeger anymore.”

“I’ll still call you Jaeger.” I chuckled in his ear. “Because you were my Eren Jaeger back then.” He hummed an approval in my ear and I kissed his jaw. “Now, how about we get settled for a while? I’d love to draw.” We found a spot on the steps and pulled out sketchbooks, and pencils. I focused on the man beside me, his face, his eyes. The feeling of Paris around us. Surprisingly I snatched his colored pencils and filled my drawing in. Bit by bit I colored the perfect turquoise eyes, focusing on the speckles in his eyes. I finally finished and glanced over to Eren. He had pencils scattered everywhere and he was pages deep into his book, about to flip another page.

“How long has it been?” I looked at my detailed drawing as he flipped through his sketchbook.

“Ugh maybe an hour, hour and a half.” He looked and his phone and nodded. “Yeah. Want to eat lunch?” I nodded and he started cleaning up his mess. I carefully packed away the sketchbooks and supplies as Eren dug through his bag. I hadn’t actually got to see what he made, because he wanted to surprise me. “Okay! So lunch!”

“Is?” Eren winked at me and pulled his bag up behind me as he sat on the step behind me, wrapping his legs around me snugly from behind.

“Close your eyes.”

“Eren-“

“Just do it!”

“What are you going to-“ I heard a rustling behind me and I felt fabric wrap around my eyes. It smelt just like our shampoo. I felt it and smiled. Eren’s bandana.

“You just had to be difficult, while I’m trying to be romantic!” He kissed my neck and I shiver. “Now open your mouth!” I leaned back against his chest, finally giving into his demands and I felt him pressing something against my lips. I reluctantly opened them, but when I did I was rewarded with something round and smooth. I bit down and sweet juice danced over my taste buds. I could hear Eren crunching behind me and I smiled.

“A grape?”

“You got it!” He buried a kiss in my hair and I grinned. “Okay, next one.” I opened my mouth and this time something soft was pressed to my lips. I ate it and chewed, tasting the butter immediately. It was some kind of bread. I didn’t expect the hint of honey baked in. It was nice.

“Bread.”

“Another one right! Okay, next!” I felt something almost like plastic against my lips and opened my mouth. This was definitely cheese.

“MHMM.”

“Good?” I nodded and he fed me another piece. I ate it happily and enjoyed every piece.

“Cheese.”

“Ha. Yeah. Okay! This one is tricky!” I felt Eren move a little and I heard a bag rattle. “Stick out your tongue.” I raised my eyebrow, even though I knew he couldn’t see it, but I did as I was asked. I was pretty much sitting on his lap now.

As soon as I felt the slick object swipe over my tongue, the sour hit.

“WHAT THE FU- HNNG” Then Eren’s mouth crashed into mine, shoving sugar into my mouth. Holy shit! I could feel the grains dissolving on my tongue and I held onto him and moved our tongues together as the sour faded. “Mhmm.”

“Better?” I nodded and Eren pulled the blindfold off.

“Lemon.” He was smiling at me, holding the lemon slice in his finger and the packet of sugar in the other.

“Winner! You win me!” I smirked and pulled him in for another kiss.

“That fucking lemon.” He laughed and it filled my heart.

“I had to Levi. Your face was great. Even better after I kissed you though. I made lemonade to drink. It’s sweet though.” I smiled and shook my head. He gave me an actual plate of food and we sat and ate together, eating and relaxing on the steps together. We shared a chocolate croissant for dessert and afterwards, Eren packed up everything.

“So, where to?” I took Eren’s hand in mine and he looked at his map. “That way! There’s a Dali museum!”

“Lead the way, turquoise.” He tugged me along excitedly and we hit one of the main streets that ran though all of the shops. “Keep your bag close, babe.” He nodded and we veered into a shop. He pointed at a display of colorful scarfs.

“Look Levi!!!” He draped a dark green scarf around me and I smiled. He held the end of the scarf up excitedly, the blue and white end of the scarf fluttering in the soft breeze. “Scout colors!!!”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” I smiled at the familiar green around my neck and Eren was pulling a matching scarf off. “So you want them?” His eyes went wide and he toyed with the end of the scarf.

“Please.” Wow. Mark this moment in the book. Eren Jaeger actually asked me to buy him something.

“And you don’t mind wearing matching scarves with me?” I teased as I took the scarf from him and draped it around his neck. I had to adjust it around his key, so it wouldn’t get tangled, but green did look really good on him.

“Absolutely not! I love it.” He kissed my cheek and I grinned.

“Let’s go pay then.”

 

The next couple of hours led us through the streets of Montmartre. Through the Dali museum, where we were both blown away. To the sidewalk artists where we both bought a few pieces of local art, and then we were looping down another street. Side by side we walked, holding hands in the gently breeze, dark green scarves fluttering as we strolled along. This world. It may not be perfect, but at least we had moments like this. We didn’t have to worry about the war on Titans. About not seeing each other the next day. About-

“Levi.” I eyes popped up to the brunette beside me. My brunette.

“Hmm?”

“You were being really quiet.” I brought his hand up to my lips and gave it a soft kiss.

“Sorry. Just thinking…”

“About what?” He smiled at me and swung our hands back and forth. I sighed and looked up at the white clouds above us.

“About the Titans. The war…” he fell silent for a moment before pulling himself closer to me.

“It’s nice you know.” I gave him a confused look as he raised his face up and closed his eyes, letting the sun hit his face. He was still swinging our hands back and forth like we were all that mattered in this world. “That that’s all in the past. We have a shot at a nice future together now, Levi. I mean, look at us now.” He opened his eyes and those turquoise eyes, the same ones from back then, the same ones from my dreams, the same ones that made my heart yearn, were staring right back into mine like I was the only thing that mattered to him. “Here we are in PARIS!” He took both of my hands in his and we just stood there in the middle of the street, letting everyone walk around us. “We’ve had a great day! The sun is warm. We’re going to get MARRIED!” He was beaming from ear to ear and I could hear the pure happiness in his voice. “We have an actual home here to go back to! WHO HAS A SECOND HOUSE IN PARIS?!” I let out a small chuckle and smiled. “We saw the Moulin Rouge today! Got to put our lock on the Pontes de Artes! AND we’re going to get to eat dinner at FUCKING PICASSO’S STUDIO!!!” He jumped up and down on that last statement. “I’m happy Levi! I’m so fucking happy!” He grabbed me around my waist and before I knew what was going on, I was up in Eren’s arms and he was spinning me around in the sunshine and that same gentle breeze, but now, everything seemed just a little sweeter.

 

 

We walked a bit further, hand in hand again, but now Eren was leaning his head on my shoulder. It was a bit awkward, but we were making it work. Another studio, a few houses, a resturaunt-

“A tattoo shop!”

“Eren!” He was tugging me towards the door before I could stop him. “I don’t think you should get tattooed here-“

“NO! They do piercings!” I raised my eyebrow as the chime of the door sounded.

“Bounjour…Oh…well if it isn’t you two…” Eren’s face went from excited to tomato in .2 seconds flat. It was the redhead from the bar.

“Second job?” I asked with a grin.

“Bingo.” She smiled at us and leaned against the table. “But I just pierce. I’m not talented enough for tattoos. So, what brings you in?”

“Well, he drug me in here. Eren?”

“I-I well…”

“Don’t be shy.” She said with a smile. “I’ve seen plenty of people behind the bar, but trust me, they are all one night stands. Nothing like what you two have. I can see it by the way you look at each other. So don’t worry your cute little head. What do you want me to pierce?” Eren nodded shyly and I rubbed his back.

“My ears.” I smiled and kissed his cheek.

“How cute. Okay! Have a seat and I’ll set everything up.” Eren looked insanely nervous, so I rubbed his hand and pressed kisses to his face.

“Don’t be so nervous.”

“Does it hurt?”

“A little, but it’s just temporary. It’ll be worth it.” I smiled and he nodded. “It makes me want another.”

“What would you get?” I grinned and brushed under his chin.

“Not my ears.” His eyes went wide and I smiled. “Maybe my nipples…or…” He looked down and I nodded.

“R-Really?!”

“Yeah. But obviously not right now. We are alone in Paris. I don’t plan on refraining from that at all.” He went red and I chuckled.

“L-levi…”

“Hmm?”

“Do you…I mean…only if you want… do you want to get pierced with me?” Eren looked like he was about to come off the table and I kissed his cheek.

“Sure. I’ll go first so you can see, okay?” He shot up off the table and into my arms.

“THANK YOU.” I chuckled into his neck and he sighed.

“Oh! So you switched places on me?” She asked as she walked back into the room.

“I guess I’ll go first.”

“And what do you want?” She asked with a grin.

“My nipples….please.”

“Sure thing! A little more complicated than an ear piercing, but I think I can manage. Take off your shirt and we’ll get started.” Fuck. This wasn’t spur of the moment or anything. After she wiped me down, had me pick out my jewelry (which were smaller barbells) and marked me, then she had me lay on the table.

“Oi, come here brat.” Eren came to my side and I held out my hand.

“I thought you said it didn’t hurt!”

“Fucking nipples and ears are two different body parts!”

“Alright, ready?” She was hovering over me on one side, as Eren held my hand on the other. I nodded and shut my eyes. I felt the clamp, and squeezed his hand tight. “Deep breath.” FUCK.

“FUCK.”

“That one’s through. I just have to put the piercing in.” I wiggled my leg and Eren smoothed my bangs with his fingers. “Alright, just relax for a minute.” I took a few deep breaths as I tried to look down at the first piercing. Just one more to go. Shit. I leaned my head back and surprisingly, it rested against a warm arm. Soft fingers started combing through my hair, caressing my undercut, just above my nape.

“You okay?”

“Mhmm….”

“Ready for the next one?”

“Sure.” Eren took my hand again with his free one and as the clamp fastened on my other nipple, I took another breath and just like the first, the needle slid through. I groaned and held onto his hand. He kept running his hands through my hair, trying to soothe me. I felt her secure the piercing and she gave me a smile.

“All done!” Eren kissed my forehead and I sat up, looking down at my chest. Fuck. They were sensitive as hell.

“They look n-nice.” He was blushing as he stared at the new piercings.

“You ready, cutie?” He nervously nodded and I took his hand.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this babe? I know you aren’t that great with needles.” I rubbed his hand with mine and he nodded.

“I’ll be fine. This is different. It’s not an injection. I’ll be alright.” I switched places with Eren and slipped my shirt back on. She went through the same motions with Eren, cleaning up his ears, marking him and letting him choose his jewelry. He chose blue titanium balls and I even sat right next to him as she positioned the clamp over his ear.

“You alright?”

“Yeah.” I took his hand and wound my arm around his waist.

“Alright. Deep breath.” Eren took a breath and held onto my hand for dear life. He winced and let out a whimper, eyes shooting open as she fasted the earring to his ear. She switched quickly and he took another breath, repeating the same process. Another little whimper and he was done. “Finished! I’m going to give you both some aftercare instructions to follow, and please follow them, or you’ll end up with an infection.” We both let with a wave and all smiles, hand in hand as we walked in the sunshine.

“Where to, love?” I nuzzled his cheek and he grinned.

“Anywhere.”

“Mhmm.” I pulled myself a little closer to my brunette beauty, only to have his long arm hook right around my waist and tug me right to his side. Eren was still full of surprises. He buried a kiss in my hair, and just feeling his lips press into my scalp was enough to send shivers through me. We walked together like that, enjoying the warm afternoon sun, until we came to another shop that caught Eren’s eye. He tugged me inside and I smiled at his enthusiasm. Beautiful fabrics lined the walls. All different colors and patterns. They were completely different from the fabrics at home. You could just tell the difference in quality.

“Levi…” Eren was running a grey fabric through his fingers. These were obviously in the window for a reason. To catch the eyes of tourists. The Eiffel tower was repeated in sections along the fabric, along with various French words, stars, and the Louvre pyramid. I ran my fingers over the nape of his neck and he shivered. “LOOK!” He yanked another out and put it in my hands. This bolt was a navy, with sparkles and a bright red windmill. The Moulin Rouge. Fuck.

“Babe.” Eren pouted at me and I chuckled. “Just don’t go too crazy. We’ll have to get another fucking suitcase for your fabric.” I smiled at him and he hugged me.

“OKAY!!!”

 

 

Little had we known those fabrics that looked higher quality than the fabrics back home, really were. REALLY. Eren was frowning as he carried his bag. I rubbed his back and chuckled at him.

“I’m sorry.” He swung his bag in his hand and I smiled, squeezing his other hand in my own.

“Eren, Nana left me that money to enjoy. Besides…” I swallowed hard and looked over at him. “Did you even read the letter?” Eren worried at his lips for a second before shaking his head.

“I was more worried about you when all that was going on…” I pulled Eren to the side of the street, up against an elegant black railing.

“You don’t fucking know-“ I pulled his ear down to me and whispered in it. “The money? The estate?!” His eyes went wide and he shook his head frantically.

“Like I said! I was worried about you.” He had his hand pulled around my lower back protectively and he leaned our foreheads together. “And…well I may or may have not been…watching to make sure your parents weren’t going to be assholes to you…” I tugged him closer and felt my new piercings sting against his chest, but I didn’t give a fuck. Tch. I felt him pull back away from me and I frowned.

“Eren-“ He held up and finger and he leaned back against the railing instead, pulling me back against him, both of us facing out against the street. I let my head fall completely back against the street as I felt his arms wrap around me. One hand settled on my hip and the other wrapped around my stomach. He kissed my head again, making my chest constrict. Fuck. Eren just knew…he knew how to make everything better.

“Now you won’t hurt. You won’t irritate those beautiful new piercings of yours…” He whispered in my ear. FUCK. I felt my whole face flush and Eren chuckled deep and breathy in my ear, kissing right under my ear lobe. “Now…what were you saying?” I trembled in his arms. What was he doing to me?

“Nana…left me…left us…a lot Eren…” He kissed my neck again and nodded.

“Really?”

“Yeah…” I reach for the hand the was wrapped around my waist and threaded my fingers through his. “Like…if we invest it right, we may not have to work again.” His breath hitched against my neck and I felt his other fingers did into my hip.

“Are…are you serious?!”

“Yeah. Which I still want to make manga. But…” I felt him kiss my neck again and smile against the skin there.

“Of course.”

“We just need to plan it out and make sure that everything is taken care of.” Eren nodded and continued to hold me.

“So…how much?”

“Well, it’s split in half with Kenny, so half of 40?” Eren hummed against my neck.

“20 thousand.”

“No, Eren.” I laughed a little and his lips froze on my skin. “million.” I turned in his arms a little to see his eyes light up and he gave me a brilliant smile.

“Wow! That’s fucking amazing!!!” He kissed me, and kissed me, and kissed me. Our tongues touched and I tasted Eren and he tasted just as sweet as always. We pulled apart breathless, and I was still locked in his arms protectively. “Levi…even if you’re a millionare, I’ll still love you just the same.” My heart fluttered at the statement and I kissed Eren with everything I had. When I started to lean into him, strong arms stopped me. I felt fingers run through my hair and I shivered. When? When did he start having this effect on me? I leaned against him again and just let him hug me. Eren was all I needed in this world. He was my place to hide away from all the cruel realities. His warm arms, warm smile, warm lips.

“Levi? How about we walk for a little longer?” He took my hand and I looked up into those beautiful eyes. Those eyes that captivated me, day in and day out.

“Sure.” As we walked, that arm was around me again, soothing me and pulling me ever closer.

“Doesn’t it just make you feel….right?” I looked up at Eren’s sparkling eyes as he looked around at the beautiful buildings. “Being here? Where all the great artists were? Picasso, Dali, Van Gogh?” I smiled at him, and took a minute to actually take in the surroundings.

“Yeah, I do love it here. This neighborhood is just…”

“Art-centric?” He said with a cheesy grin.

“Yeah. It’s beautiful. I could just sit here and draw all day. I feel at peace.” He agreed with a nod. “We can come back you know…” His eyes locked on mine and he was beaming from ear to ear.

“Really?!”

“Of course brat. We have plenty of time. All we need to make it back to the US for is to make it for the concert…unless you want to skip it?” I cocked an eyebrow at him and he shook my shoulders.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?! NO WAY IN HELL!!!” I chuckled and kept tugging him along. Since when had we been walking down hill?

“Oi, Eren?” I smirked as we stood in front of a shop. Montmartre was famous for quite a few things, and their plethora of sex shops was one of them. “Want to go in?” His face was already turning red, but he shyly took my hand.

“Y-Yeah…Well…just don’t do anything embarrassing!” He pressed his face into my shoulder and hid it. I kissed the top of his head and smiled.

“Deal.” I gently tugged him inside and we were greeted by a sex toy super store. I heard him whimper and I walked around the store. “Babe…” I said it softly as I ran my fingers through his bangs. Fuck that bandana was cute. “If you see anything you want to try, let me know. Okay?” He nodded against my shoulder and I smiled, tugging my cute little brunette around.

I stood in front of the lube and luckily, it also had English on the description. I raised my eyebrow as I looked at the different bottles.

“Hmm…. Flavored? What do you think?” Eren’s eyes popped over my shoulder and he pointed. “Watermelon? Hmm…good choice. I’m getting this one too…”

“Levi! That’s huge.” His eyes went wide as I picked up the bottle of regular lube. I shrugged.

“We fuck a lot. It’s better to buy in bulk, right?”

“It’s got a fucking pump on it!” I snickered at his comment and shrugged again.

“We can just keep it on the nightstand at home.” He looked mortified.

“LEVI!!!” I tugged him away from the lube and we moved around the store.

“See anything interesting?” We lingered in front of the costumes before he shook his head.

“I like your SNK cosplay the best…”

“Tch.” I grinned at him and he smiled. I felt a small tug in the hem of my shirt and turned around to see Eren staring at the floor.

“Ugh…Levi…”

“Yeah?” Eren silently pointed to the side at a pair of handcuffs and my mouth dropped open. “Y-You-“

“IF IT’S WEIRD THEN-“

“NO! NO!!!” I snatched the cuffs and stuck them under my arm. We were definitely getting those. “Sure you don’t want the furry ones?” He shook his head with a smile and I kissed his cheek.

Eventually we ended up at the fun section of the store. Eren was tomato red as he looked at the vibrators and other toys. He reach for my hand and ducked in for my shoulder again.

“Levi…some of those look…scary…” I rubbed his hand gently and eased his head up.

“Hey, hey. Look it’s nothing to worry over. We’ll start small, okay?” He was looking at a huge dildo with terrified eyes. “I’m never going to hurt you, Eren.” He nodded and gave my hand a little squeeze.

“See these?” I pulled a set of anal beads off the shelf and he nodded.

“Anal beads.”

“Right. You like it when I stretch you with my fingers right?” I whispered it in his ear and he nodded. “Then this is just about the same. The same stretch.” He swallowed and nodded. “Wanna try them? If you don’t like them, I’ll just toss them.”

“O-Okay.” He took the box from me and held it as we kept looking over the wall. I picked another item off the wall and help it up to him. It was a vibrating butt plug. He whimpered but nodded. “I-I want the purple one though…” I cracked a smile and shrugged as I switched the boxes.

“Anything else, love?” He swooped in and grabbed something off the wall, before he thrust it into my hands, giving me a mortified look. I looked at the package. Holy shit. Vibrating cock ring with two bullets. That was gonna be fun for someone. I smirked and brought him in for a kiss. I could feel his blush through the whole kiss, but I didn’t really care. Eren was willing to be this open with me, so I was going to kiss him like I meant it. We checked out, adding a months’ worth of batteries at the checkout and after hiding our bag down in Eren’s fabric bag, we set off on our walk again.

“So…how much longer until dinner?” I looked at my phone. It was 5 now.

“Three and a half hours.” Eren smiled as he gripped his bag in one hand and my waist in the other. “So…how do we actually get to the restaurant from here?” Eren pulled out his map from his bag and looked at the streets. Ugh just a few streets up and over. We walked down the street we were on, passing a few familiar stores. “Eren…don’t fucking tell me-“ And then we arrived at the bottom of those fucking stairs again. “I SWEAR TO GOD. WE BETTER BE EATING FUCKING PICASSO’S PAINT CHIPS AT THIS DAMN RESTURAUNT.” Eren burst into laughter, before he grabbed me around the waist and crashed our lips together. My heart fluttered and I felt my stomach knot up and flip flop, before he broke the heated kiss and leaned his lips down to my neck. So warm. What’s gotten into him today?

“Come on Levi! We made it the first time!” He gave me that brilliant smile, and my heart melted for him all over again. I felt my own lips twist into a smile and I grabbed his hand and started towards the stairs. I was running. Fucking running for the stairs. “Woo! Let’s go!” My heart was already pouding, but clearly it wasn’t from starting so early. It was from my fiancé’s hand locked in my own as we ran up these steps together. We were insane. Insanely in love. I heard laughter. Eren was laughing beside me as we ran together up the steps and I realized that his own voice wasn’t the only one…. My own laugh was also echoing over the steps of the Sacre Coeur. For just a moment, I remembered. I remembered us running, handing in hand through a field of beautiful flowers in full uniform. We were as happy as the current times had allowed, enjoying one of the rare moments free from a titan attack or a expedition, but now, I looked over to see my beautiful turquoise eyed beauty truly happy. Smiling and laughing.

I stumbled as I reach the top step and Eren caught me in his arms with a laugh that warmed my heart. He tugged me right over to the overlook and my breath was taken away. How long had it taken up to climb the stairs? The sun was now setting over Paris and the view was astounding.

“Gorgeous…” I nodded and looked over to Eren. He was starting straight at me, and I felt my face flush. He ran his hand down my back and I couldn’t help but smile. “Let’s take some pictures. We forgot earlier.”

“Because I was crying like a fucking baby…” He chuckled as he pulled out his phone and kissed my cheek.

“We both were. We got engaged.” He was smiling like an idiot and the same smile sprung to my own lips. We took a few pictures of the scenery and the sunset, then pictures of each other, selfies together and of course we forced someone to take a couple of pictures of us together. The last set of selfies however… well they were kissing selfies…they turned out into more of a make-out session than anything.

_“So you can't fly if you never try_

_You told me...Oh, Long ago_

_But you left the wall_

_Outside the gate_

_So more than ever, it's real!”_

 

We both groaned, pulling away from each other, so Eren could answer his phone.

“Hello?”

“Eren.” Mikasa was on speaker, and from the sound of her voice, she sounded gloomy. “I know you are on vacation, but there’s something I need to talk to you about…”

“Sure. Anything.” He leaned back against the railing and I started running my fingers through his hair, playing with the knot in his bandana.

“Well…you know that college starts in the fall…”

“Mhmm….”

“And you are living with Levi now.”

“Right?”

“Well…I’m going to Trost University. I’ve already been accepted and well…I can’t keep working 40 hour weeks Eren. Not with college.” He nodded his head as he played with the hem on my shirt.

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“So I…sold the house.” She went silent after that and Eren’s eyes went wide.

“Y-You…oh…”

“The mortgage is really high, and there’s no way to pay it on my own Eren.”

“Do you have some where to go?!” His voice cracked and he shot up off the railing.

“Well…that’s part two of the call…” He swallowed hard and he gave me a terrified look. “You know how Erwin has that house all to himself? Well…he offered to move his desk into his bedroom and let me use his office as a bedroom…” Eren raised his eyebrow and looked at me in awe.

“W-WHAT!?”

“And…w-well….Armin’s going to sort of be there too of course…”

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE! I GO OUT OF THE COUNTRY FOR A FEW DAYS AND ALL THIS HAPPENS?!” She let out a little laugh and Eren grinned. “But, if that’s what you want to do then go ahead. I’ll support you along the way, sis.” He smiled warmly and I kept running my fingers through his hair.

“Thanks, Eren… Just try to make it back before the 31st of July. That’s the final move out date. I’d like some help with cleaning and…looking through things. I guess… splitting things up.”

“Sure thing. I’ll make sure I’m back. Levi is a pro at cleaning. I’m sure he’ll love to help.” I stuck my tongue out playfully at Eren and he grinned. “Mikasa…I’m always here for you, okay?”

“Same here. I’ll let you go. I know it’s late there. Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.” Eren hung up and turquoise met grey.

“So, how are you feeling about that?” I kissed his forehead and he smiled.

“I’m…I’m okay actually. I’m proud of Mikasa. I’m glad she’s going to school. The house…” He took my hand in his and although I did see a hint of sadness flicker through his eyes, it quickly faded and happiness took over again. “It’s going to be hard going through everything, but that’s not my home anymore…My home is where you are Levi.” He smiled genuinely and my heart shattered. That confession, that pure love that honesty. Eren was stronger than I could ever dream of being.

“Fuck…” I pushed my face right into his shoulder blade and breathed out. “I’m so fucking lucky. So lucky we found each other again…” I felt the key around my neck clink with his for a moment, but he only pulled me closer, careful not to hurt my tender chest.

“You call yourself the lucky one?” I felt Eren shaking his head and he kissed the top of my head. I relaxed my shoulders, completely falling into him. My stress was just melting away. “I had the shittiest life I could imagine, and here came this Prince that swept me off my feet and rescued me…or should I say a noble Captain.”

“I’m not a fucking noble.” I grinned into his warm chest and he snickered.

“Either way, Levi. I’m so thankful and so desperately in love with you that there’s no way I could turn back from that.” I felt my whole body tingle as he held me and I just wanted to stand there all night, in front of the setting sun and kiss Eren. My teal eyed beauty. My Shifter.

But, eventually he pulled me away so we could make it in time for our reservations. The meal was insanely delicious and we were amazed at the architecture inside, plus the fact that we were eating inside of what once was Picasso’s studio. We got home around 10, and although you would have expected the streets to be deserted, they were still filled with people and well lit.

Eren set the bags down in the living room and I glanced at the closet.

“Tomorrow.” I muttered as we both walked back to the bedroom. Tomorrow I would conquer the chest. Tomorrow I would face the item Nana left me. As we shut the bedroom door behind us, I stopped in front of the bed, and Eren wrapped his arms around me from behind. We’d left all of the lights out, only leaving his nightlight on, so the room was cast in that familiar blue and the reflections of the city lights through the window. The open window in fact, that was blowing that same gentle breeze of the day inside. Eren nuzzled my neck and I sighed against the warmth. He was burying his chin and lips beneath the layers of the dark green fabric from my scarf, and I simply unwrapped the article of clothing and cast it aside. His joining it on the bedside table and I felt his lips right back on my neck.

“Levi…” Why was I feeling this way? Was the city having this effect on me? Maybe I was just tired from the emotional rollercoaster… Or maybe… “I love you, Levi…” He was sucking and licking on my neck and I just closed my eyes, feeling mesmerized by his touch. By the warmth. My Eren. My answer was barely a whisper, but I knew he heard.

“I love you too.” His hands were traveling now, running down my stomach, over my hips. Mhmm… “Eren.” I could definitely let him take control for a little while. Fuck, this felt nice… His fingers played with the hem of my shirt and I let him gently slip it over my head. I felt the cool air of the apartment on my new piercing and I shuddered. His shirt was off seconds later, and fingers were working on the buttons of my jeans. “In a hurry?” I whispered as I leaned back against his shoulder and he answered with a kiss to my neck.

“No, just want to get you under the covers.” My pants were sliding off my hips, along with my underwear and socks and fuck, Eren was stripped right after me, pulling me towards the bed with a bright smile. “I really do like your new piercings, Levi… a lot.” He blushed a little, before licking his lips. Fuck…he was going to be the death of me. I pulled out my phone and put on the song that I KNEW would make Eren smile. I threw it on the nightstand and forgot about it.

 

_My gift is my song... and this one's for you  
And you can tell everybody that this is your song_

 

“Mhmm, I like yours too.” I smirked and stroked his jaw. We were under the covers in a matter of seconds, and his fingers were ghosting over my chest, being absolutely careful to avoid my nipples.

“I won’t hurt you Levi.” He whispered it in my ear and it echoed through my mind. I won’t hurt you. Eren wouldn’t hurt me…He would never hurt me. The way his lips were tenderly sucking on my neck and the way his fingers were gently roaming over me. Hell, the way he’d fucking been my emotional rock the last few days proved that he would be there through thick and thin. That’s why I’d chosen him. That’s why I always wanted Eren by my side. That’s why…I wanted to marry him. That’s why I trusted him like no one else. That’s why…

_It may be quite simple, but now that it's done  
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind_

 

“Eren…” I didn’t realize how needy I sounded until I actually said it, but my eyes met his and he smiled before kissing me and pressing me down into the pillows. My thoughts were turning into blurs. All visions of Eren. All my desires, my wants, my love for him blurring and spinning. I gripped at his hair and that fucking sexy bandana slipped free and I tossed it to the side.

“Mhmm?” I gasped for any breath I could managed as he pulled away to suck on my collarbones and FUCK. I need to tell him. Needed to…

“I…Will you…” I felt my face burning and his head finally turned back up. Dark dreamy teal back into lusty grey and I felt a shiver run down my spine. “Just…for tonight…” He gave me an understanding smile and caught my bottom lip between his, stopping me from tripping over every fucking word. In the middle of that sweet, deep kiss, tongues intertwined and hands searched. We already knew each other well, but I could never get enough. I wanted to touch. To feel. But tonight, my hands were gently laid beside my head as warm hands were ran all over my body. Followed by lips. Followed by a slick tongue. My hips were nipped and sucked, surely there would be purple marks tomorrow. Not to mention what he was doing to my thighs.

_That I put down in words...  
How wonderful life is, now you're in the world_

 

“H-HOLY SHIT!” I whimpered as I clung to the pillow. Eren was sucking a mark onto my inner thigh and I just couldn’t take it. “HNN-“

“I love to see you like this, Levi. It’s so sexy…” Those fucking eyes…looking up at me like that. He licked right beside of my knee and I fucking whimpered. “Mhmm those sounds are driving me crazy.”

“P-Please Eren!” My hands shot down to his hair and he smirked.

“And you called me impatient earlier?”

“I-I’m sorry! J-Just touch me! Please!” I was begging desperately, but it just had to be him. Only he could make me feel amazing. He ran his fingers over my balls and I let out a shudder, before he ran his fingers over the tip of my cock, coating them in pre-cum and slicking his hand up. He gave my cock a squeeze and I let my head fall back into the pillows with a moan.

 

 _I sat on the roof and I kicked off the moss_  
Well some of these verses, well they,  
They've got me quite cross

 

“You like that?”

“Y-Yes! Please, just-“ He gave me a few strokes before his hand fell away. “EREN!!” His lips crashed into mine and he nipped my lower lip.

“Levi, didn’t you say you want me to be in charge tonight?” If my face wasn’t red before, it sure as hell was now. I simply nodded as his fingers stroked my cheek.

“Then trust me babe. Just relax. Enjoy it, okay?” I took a deep breath and smiled. Eren was right. He was absolutely right. I leaned up to kiss him and he kissed me right back, gentle and caring and absolutely full of trust. “Now, open those beautiful legs up for me.” I leaned back against the pillows and let my knees fall back. Eren threw the bottle of lube on the bed, the tube we had laying on the nightstand, and let himself sink between my legs again. I felt my stomach sink. Both in nervousness and excitement. I heard the bottle snap open and Eren poured some onto his fingers.

 

_But the sun's been kind while I wrote this song  
It's for people like you that keep it turned on_

 

“Ready?” I nodded and watched him through hazy eyes as he carefully began prepping me. I felt his delicate fingers rubbing over my entrance and another shiver shook through me. His other hand was running circles on my thigh, trying to get me to relax. Finally the finger pushed inside and curled and I couldn’t help but let out a gasp.

  
_So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do_

 

“E-EREN!” I reach for him and he moved like lightening, taking his free hand to grab my hand. “Hyaa….E-Er-n…” Everything was spinning shit. Too fast. He pushed in really-really. I shut my eyes for a minute and popped them back open. Fuck. Right. How had he even done that? He had hit my prostate on the first try and I was about to come up off this fucking bed.

 

_You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue_

 

“Good, Levi?”

“AHH, P-Please.” He rubbed my hand with his and even in this weird position I could still feel the wave of pleasure rocking through me. Holy fuck. He pushed his finger forward again and I swear I screamed. He had a strong grip on my hand and his finger was moving slowly in and out, keeping a careful pace to not hurt me. “M’ not glass.” He frowned before he added a second finger. “B-BABE!!! AGGHNN-“

_Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean_

 

“You’re so beautiful Levi.” I was quivering as he moved his fingers in and out, assaulting my prostate over and over. He scissor his fingers and I arched my back. I was sweating and hard as a rock. Almost painfully so, but he insisted on a third finger. The third finger, to be honest did hurt a little and I was thankful for his pause. But after the initial, hurt that blissful stroking of my prostate took over and I was ready. So fucking ready.

 

 

“E-EREN PLEASE!” I tugged him forward and made him fall on top of me, pulling his fingers out.

“Fuck. Levi!” He crashed his lips onto mine and I desperately needed more. It’d been so long, but I was ready. As long as it was Eren. As long as it was my soulmate. He looked at me with the most tender expression I’ve ever seen and I swallowed. “You sure about this?”

_Yours are the sweetest eyes, I've ever seen_

“Yes. I’m sure. I’m sure that I love you and I trust you. I’m sure that you are my soul mate.” I ran my fingers through his messy hair and he smiled. “And I’m absolutely sure I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Okay then.” He kissed me tenderly and with so much love that my heart ached when he pulled away to grab the bottle. I saw him coat himself and he hovered over me. Fuck. It’s been so long. This was really happening. I squeezed my eyes shut and fisted the sheets. “Levi.” Eren’s soft breathy whisper by my ear made my eyes pop open. “Relax and look at me. I love you.” I nodded and I felt his hand wrap around my fisted one, relaxing it and bringing it up around his shoulder. “See? You can hold onto me.” Fuck. FUCK. Could he be more perfect?! I brought my other hand up and held onto his other shoulder, trying to relax and fall into this moment. Into the perfect man on top of me.

__  
And you can tell everybody that this is your song  
It may be quite simple but now that it's done

 

That didn’t take much convincing as he started pressing at my entrance. I whimpered at the big stretch and held onto him. I felt my nails dig into his shoulders and I choked. FUCK. He was big. I threw my head back into the pillow, but I didn’t break eye contact. He kept pushing until I was filled up to the brim and grabbing at his shoulders and neck.

“Levi…shhhh….look.” One of my hands was pried away from his shoulder and his fingers wrapped around mine. “Your body is so small.” He nuzzled my cheek and kept pressing kisses to my face. “Just give it a minute.” I took a few breaths, letting my body adjust. Eren’s fingers were drawing lines on my palm, kissing everything. “See this line?” I felt him draw a line across my palm and I nodded. “We were always destined to meet in this world.” I smiled and he kissed me again, and again, and eventually the pain subsided and I urged him to move.

With one thrust I was crying out, scratching into his shoulder. Turquoise eyes looked concentrated in the blue like and his brow was furrowed as he held onto me.

“Fuck, Levi. Those sounds you make…”

“Eren!” He was pounding hard, and switched angled slightly slamming straight into that perfect little bundle of nerves. “HOLY SHIT! PLEASE! DON’T STOP! Don’t-“ He kept up his pace, a sheen of sweat forming over both of our warm bodies, despite the cool breeze coming in through the window.

With every thrust I felt myself coming undone. Shattering in Eren’s arms. But I would have never been able to shatter if I’d never felt safe.

_I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind  
That I put down in words_

 

“Hnnnnng!! Fuck!” I pulled him down on top of my and a sting echoed through my chest, through my new piercings. I’d get over it. I just needed him close. I needed his neck. I started licking and sucking. Nipping at the tan flesh. His arm wrapped right around me and a wave of pleasure shook through me, followed by a wave of emotion. What a fucking roller coaster. Eren. Eren would still be here in the morning. Eren wouldn’t kick me out after I told him I loved him. Eren was my everything and more, and that was perfectly okay. I choked on a moan and the tears threatening my eyes and buried my face in his shoulder.

_How wonderful life is, now you're in the world_

 

“L-Levi! You okay?”

“Fine!” The pitch of my voice shot up and I wiped my tears on his shoulder. They were only a few strays and gone in a couple of seconds, and for that I was glad. “I-I love you, Eren. So-So OH OH FUCK” He was fucking snapping his hips just right and my hand had somehow looped into his hair.

We were moving together in one fluid motion, and I could listen to the sound of the bed rocking against the wall all night, but my orgasm was fast approaching. I was desperately pulling Eren down for kisses in between sucking on his neck, and he hammered right into my sweet spot.

 

_I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind  
That I put down in words_

 

So hard in fact, that neither of us noticed that we’d scooted closer and closer to the edge of the bed. That was until I reach up to suck on his neck again and fucking leaned back to far, dragging him off the side of the bed with me, along with the covers.

“FUCK!”

“LEVI!” I laughed as I rubbed my head. That was definitely gonna be sore tomorrow from hitting the floor.

“I’m fine!” I smirked as I grabbed the bottle of lube that had landed beside me in the floor. I tossed it to Eren and leaned back against the floor. He poured some more on himself and raised my leg over his shoulder. My eyes went wide and I screamed as he shoved back in. “H-Holy FUCK! EREN! NNNG!!!” I grabbed at the nightstand above me and it shook as he took me on the floor, stretching me and filling me up. He was fucking me so hard that the drawer of the nightstand opened, but I really didn’t care. All I cared about was that white hot pleasure scorching through me and that coiling taking over.

 

_How wonderful life is, now you're in the world_

 

“L-Levi! G-Getting close!” Eren was gripping my thigh tight, giving me this determined look and he let out a moan as a wave of pleasure shook through him. “Fuck babe. You feel so good. So warm and tight.” He reach down between us and grabbed my neglected cock, stroking it as he slammed into my prostate and I knew I was going to shatter. I felt that overwhelming feeling of overstimulation for a second, but it was quickly swept away by my orgasm exploding through me. I cried out, nearly yanking down the damn nightstand. I’m sure I heard glass shatter as I came, and then the sexiest moan I’d ever heard ripped through Eren before white hot filled me. “F-Fuck…” We were both breathing heavy and he pulled out before gently lifting me up into the bed. He pulled the comforter up over us and smiled.

“Levi…remember than vase on the nightstand?”

“Mhmm…?

“It’s broken now.”

“Shit.” He chuckled as he pulled me into his arms.

“Don’t get cut. It’s off to the side at least.” He said with a yawn.

“I’ll get it in the morning.” I snuggled up to the bundle of warmth beside me, knowing well that he would still be there tomorrow and for the rest of my life. I was looking forward to our next day in Paris, actually. “Goodnight, Eren. I love you.”

“Night, Levi. Love you, too.”


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go find the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8rzJF2xOqM  
> It's a version of Omake Pfadlib with lyrics and it's beautiful <3
> 
> Sooo I posted this quicker than I originally thought so yeah.  
> It's not edited or beta'd  
> Comments <3

Eren’s POV

I opened my eyes to see the warm sunlight flooding into the room. It was later in the day. I could tell by the dull color of the sun shining through the windows and the street noise coming from the road a few stories down. Levi stirred in my arms, and I pulled him closer. Our legs were tangled, and he was still breathing steadily, fingers resting gently across my chest. His hair was an absolute wreck, as was the eyeliner smeared under his eyes. I couldn’t resist kissing him on the forehead, before I pulled the comforter up over us a little further, covering up bare skin.

“Mhmm…morning.” He mumbled it as one eye opened. I ran my fingers through his hair, smiling as I did and the locks stood on end, sticking up in every way imaginable. I was in love with Levi’s hair, it was definitely one thing that gave him that sexy look that I loved, and I was devastated when I saw he’d chopped off his hair, but now that it was growing back, I was happy with it. Of course, he looked great no matter what his hair looked like. His other eye opened and he sighed into my touch, enjoying the fingers combing through his hair. “Feels nice.” I turned a little, so I could pull him right up against me, and lay on my side as I carded through his hair. His own hands began moving lazily, running circles on my chest and the other fingers stroking my chin. “Rough…”

“Hmm?” I raised an eyebrow at him and he smiled as he pressed a kiss to my chin.

“You need to shave. You’ve got stubble.” I ran my own fingers over my chin and sure enough, the scratchy texture was there. “Unless you want it to grow out?” Levi chuckled at that and tucked his head under my chin.

“I don’t think so. My hair, yes. A beard, not so much.”

“Fuck. Thank you.” He snickered into my chest and my heart soared. Hearing Levi laugh, especially this early was enough to make my day. “I don’t want to marry a cave man.”

“LEVI!”

“It’s true!” I rolled my eyes at him and I could feel his body shaking with laughter against mine. Levi was so warm against me. So soft and- “Mhmm…” I felt his breath glide across my collar bone and I shivered. “If you keep that up, Jaeger. We won’t be going out of the apartment today.” I felt my face turn red as I noticed the new placement of my hand, working it way down his side and resting on his hip, completely bare from last night.

“Sorry! I-“ He chuckled lowly and shook his head before looking up at me with eyes full of affection.

“Don’t apologize.” I felt his hand snake under the sheets and rest over top of my own, right on top of his hip and he smiled. “I’m all yours.” I swallowed hard at the thought. “You choose what we do for the day.”

“Well…” As much as I wanted to stay in bed all day. Paris was in front of us. Calling our names. Screaming for us practically. UGH. What to do. “H-How are you feeling?” I ran our hands a bit lower, rubbing over his ass and thighs and his head fell to my chest.

“A little sore, but I’ll live. You are…something else, Eren.” He smirked against my skin and I couldn’t help but smile at the pride swelling in my chest and the trust Levi had developed in me. That was the final wall, and Levi had finally allowed me to break through last night, and here we were, snuggled up like two newlyweds, basking in the warm sunlight and gentle breeze. “I don’t think the vase survived though.” Levi frown as he pointed to the pile of glass against the wall. “HOLY SHIT.” My eyes went wide as I caught a glance of the room.

Clothes were everywhere. Levi’s shirt was thrown over the TV. Broken glass was shattered, not only by the wall, but in tiny pieces along the floor. The nightstand was yanked from the wall and papers were all over the floor. Not to mention our medication bottles, that had rolled off the table at some point. At least my headache medicine was stored safely away on the coffee table in the living room.

“Maybe we can call that housekeeper today to do a good clean while we are out?” Levi groaned and nodded.

“Not a bad idea brat. But, you stay here. I’m going to clean that fucking glass up before you get out of bed. I’m not risking you getting cut.”

“But what about you-“

“Stay.” Levi was pulling away from me before I could stop him and I frowned as he took the long way out of the room to return with a broom and a dust pan, wearing only a pair of slippers.

“I could get used to this you know…” I joked as I watched him sweep. He glanced at me as I laid on my side and stared at him.

“Oh?”

“You cleaning in the nude. Not a bad sight.” The broom fell over and his face went bright red. “Too distracting for you?” He grabbed the broom and swept up the rest of the glass, setting the dustpan to the side.

“You are distracting in general. Come here.” He took my hand and led me off the far side of the bed, away from where the glass had broken. “Stay away from there. I’ll grab our medication, just get some clothes and we can take a shower and head out. I don’t want any tiny glass cutting you. The house keeper can get it while we are out, like you said.”

 

 

We took a quick shower together, and after the events from last night flashing through my head, it was exceptionally hard to keep my hands off of Levi. He kept leaning into my touch, and eventually, we just gave into the kisses and touches in the shower.

“Y-You…really liked seeing me clean that much?” I had my hands settled on his hips and my mouth was on the crook of his neck, licking and nibbling, sucking my way into a frenzy.

“That and I can’t stop thinking about last night…and about you in general. I mean…look at you.” I ran my fingers over his abs and he shivered. Not to mention the fact that I couldn’t stop starting at those shiny new piercings of his.

“Fuck.” His breath caught in his throat and his fingers were tanged in my soaked hair. I reach between us and grabbed a hold of him, rock hard and begging, just like I knew he’d be. “Eren.” I leaned my forehead against his and pressed our mouths together, and his tongue ran along my lip and pushed inside. I was greeted with the identical taste of toothpaste, fresh and clean and also by that familiar taste that was Levi as he took over the kiss and yanked me closer, shoving me up against the tile wall. He was back to his normal self. Taking control of the situation, of me, and I loved it. Although, I didn’t mind pleasuring him as well. I cried out as he squeezed me hard, cupping my balls with his other hand.

“Like that?” I nodded furiously, my face going red.

“Yes. Mhmm.” I felt the contact leave as Levi dropped down to his knees on the shower floor. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. “Or…like this?” He licked me a few times, swirling his tongue around the head of my cock, before taking me in. I felt myself sink down into warmth and my fingers worked on their own, falling into those perfect raven locks that I adored. Those silky black locks that were soaking wet. His hand was cupping my balls again, massaging them as he worked me with his mouth and I couldn’t help it as I fell back against the shower wall. FUCK. It was just too much. His other hand was stroking like circles on my thigh, mesmerizing me and I couldn’t take it. He would deep throat me and pull all the way up the place a teasing lick to the head, then repeat, making my head spin.

My knees we going weak, while my hand was gripping tighter. I heard him pull back with a pop and he smirked up at me.

“Enjoying yourself?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Good. Eren, You can get a little crazy you know. You don’t have to just stand there. I know you won’t hurt me.” My eyes went wide as I looked down at Levi. He pulled my other hand into his hair and put his hands on top of mine as he pushed his head down onto my cock, showing me what he wanted me to do. Just the thought made my cock twitch, not to mention those grey eyes looking up at me expectantly. I gripped my fingers in his hair and with a gentle test thrust, I brought my cock into Levi’s mouth, well more like his throat. I felt him moan around it and I nearly lost it right there. His hand was back to playing with my balls and rubbing my ass and with the next swing of my hips I could feel the vibration of Levi’s whine all the way through me. Holy shit.

“OH. Oh Fuck. P-Please.” I felt him lift his hand again and literally shove his head down hard against me. And I screamed out, falling back against the wall. SHIT. Shit shit shit. TOO MUCH. It was overwhelming. Levi’s mouth. His hair. His eyes. And he was letting me do these things to him. Wreck that beautiful mouth of his. That thought and one last snap of my hips sent my falling over the edge with a scream. I slid down the wall after, nearly completely drained, but I knew Levi needed relief as well.

“Hi.” He was face to face with me, well nearly. He was still on his knees, washing off his chin under the hot spray of water.

“Hey.” He was achingly hard now and I knew he was dying to get off. I pushed him down to the floor of the shower and sunk between his legs. “E-Eren?! What are you-“

“Just let me.” I guided his hand down to my hair and smiled. I took him into my mouth just as he’d done with me, but soft fingers ran through my locks. He wasn’t yanking or pulling. Hell, he wasn’t even jerking his hips up, just looking down at me with that fucking look of adoration as he combed his fingers through my hair. He was always gentle, always caring. I hollowed my cheeks and sucked hard, slipping lower and lower. I was going to make this good. I felt his other hand slip to my shoulder, squeezing it and even scratching a little.

“FUCK. EREN. NNNG.” At that his hips did arch a little off of the floor of the shower and I sucked hard, bobbing my head quickly. His head kept falling back and jerking forward, and before I knew it, he was crying my name as I took everything he had. We sat for a minute in the warm spray of the shower and washed each other again before finally dressing for the day and brushing our teeth again.

Levi was all over me, wrapping his arms around me every second he got. We had a quick breakfast of muffins and fruit at the island, complete with tea and Levi gave me my injection for the day. We sat on the couch as we enjoyed a second cup of tea and Levi nuzzled into my neck after he downed his last little but. I still had have a cup left.

“So what do you want to do today?” I asked him as I flipped through a travel book I picked up.

“Anything. You pick.”

“I really want to go to the Louvre, but I want to do that on an early day so we can spend a lot of time.” He glanced at the clock and his eyes went wide.

“Fuck. It is 3pm…”

“Time flies when you sleep in and fool around in the shower.” I joked as I ruffled his still damp hair. He kissed my neck and I sipped my tea. “Do you want to tackle the Eiffel Tower today?” I asked as I looked at the picture of the famous monument in the book.

“Sounds good to me. We’re taking the bike though. It’s pretty far from here, right?”

“Only an hour’s walk, but there are a lot of busy streets and stuff to cross. But, I’m not going to say no to riding the bike with you.” I grinned and Levi smiled up at me.

“We’ll find you some boots while we’re out. I don’t like you riding in sneakers.” I nodded and downed the rest of my tea. Levi was about the stand up, but I caught his hand.

“Levi…are you going to keep avoiding it?” He sighed and looked over at the closet.

“I was planning on it…but I need to open it I guess.” I stood up and wrapped my arm around his waist.

“Come on. We can do this together. I’m right here.” He nodded and leaned his head against my shoulder as we walked over to the closet together. We opened the door with a squeak and pulled out the old truck, with the tag attached. He looked down at it and clung to my hand, grasping to for dear life. “Hey, let’s sit down.” He looked at me and nodded. I sat down first and pulled him into my lap, wrapping my arms around his middle as we pulled the trunk closer. “There, I’m right here, okay?”

“Thank you, Eren.” I could feel his heart pounding in his chest and I knew he was nervous. I rubbed his arm soothingly as he opened the lid and looked inside. “Fuck…”

Levi took out the letter resting on top of the items in the trunk and read it.

_To my sweet Levi,_

_I’ve left these things to you. Not because Kenny won’t take care of them, but because I know you will treasure them just a little bit more. Inside you will find a few of my most precious items._

 

I heard Levi’s voice crack and he turned in my lap, resting his head against my shoulder.

“Shhh…Just take your time. We have all day. Okay? No rush.” He nodded and I could already see the first tears starting.

“W-Why is it like this Eren? It feels like I haven’t seen her in forever, but the pain feels like it just happened yesterday.” He looked up at me, with streaks of eyeliner running down his beautiful face and my heart broke. I knew. I knew the pain. Not once, but twice. My world crashed around me in two completely different ways, and I had no way to stop it, so I knew that feeling of lack of control. That pain.

“I know. I know it hurts. I know you miss her.” I tried to kiss the tears away, but I knew fresh ones were flowing right back into their place. “I miss Mom too. And even as shitty as it sounds…I miss Dad. I miss the way Dad used to be. When I was growing up. Before everything went to hell.” I felt Levi tense, but I rubbed his back and pressed more kisses to his face. “But we can’t let the past stop our happiness now. Levi, your Nana wants us to be happy. She said it before in her letter to you.” He sniffled and attempted to wipe his eyes. “And I know my Mom doesn’t want me to be sad. She wants me smiling and happy, and after I found you, I’ve been nothing but.” An actual smile crept onto his face and he nodded, wiping at his eyes again. I took the letter from him and after he got situated in my lap again, I read the letter to him.

“You will find a few of my most precious items. My jewelry box, that is a French antique. Please keep the box. However the Jewelry inside in probably not your style.” Levi raised an eyebrow at that and I showed him the letter just to verify the letter actually said that.

“For fuck’s sake Nana…”

“You can do what you want with it, Levi, but I suggest going to visit my friend Cain Rivaille. I told you stories of him before, but he is retired now and he is a Jewelry smith. He has a small shop attached to the side of his house and he makes beautiful pieces. I attached the address.” He pulled out the jewelry box and opened it, revealing a bunch of broken jewelry and pieces from the 80’s, but then he yanked something out of the box and held it to his chest with a strangled cry.

“Levi, what’s wrong-“

“Her bracelet! It’s really here!” He held it in trembling hands and I saw the gleaming silver. It was almost like a bangle, but a little thicker, with a flat piece on the top. The sides of the bracelet were intricately woven metal. The silver almost looked braided. It was beautiful.

“It’s beautiful Levi.” I ran my fingers over it and he nodded. I kissed his forehead, then brought his hand grasping onto to bracelet for dear life up to my lips, kissing each finger. “Hey, it’s alright.” I pulled the bracelet out of his fingers and slipped it over his hand, sliding it down onto his wrist.

“T-Thank you. Y-You don’t realize how special this is to me.” I hugged him tight and smiled.

“Anything for you. Want me to keep reading?” He nodded, but buried his face against my neck as he stroked the new silver band around his wrist. “The only thing I request you to keep is the silver bracelet with the woven band.” Levi stared at his wrist and nodded. “Cain made it for me some years ago and it’s very special, but I never had the chance to get that top section engraved. Feel free to have him engrave it for you, Sweetie.” Levi closed his eyes and nodded as he reach for my free hand, gripping it close again. “Inside the trunk you will also find a quilt. I made it for you as a graduation present for college, but things don’t always go according to plan. Go ahead and enjoy it now. Keep yourself warm in the cold months and hopefully you will find someone to snuggle up with.” Levi smiled and I reach into the trunk and pulled out the blanket, unfolding it and wrapping it around us.

“It’s gorgeous.” Levi said as he ran his fingers over the blocks. There were triangles, rectangles, squares. Tiny shapes that we couldn’t even begin to think about making yet. It was stunning. The colors were brilliant. Every color of the rainbow shown in the quilt and Levi was grinning as he snuggled under it.

“There’s also a photo album inside, as well as a few odds and ends. Take care of yourself, Levi. And please enjoy Paris. Remember that I love you very much and I’ll always be proud of you. Love, Nana.” A few more tears escaped Levi’s eyes and he continued to wipe them away as he dug through the trunk. There was a scarf inside, it was dark purple and he carefully pushed it to the side, along with a couple of pieces of bubble wrapped pottery. He pulled out the photo album and flipped the cover open. I recognized the face immediately, even if he was considerable younger. The man standing beside him was easy to pick out as well. It was Kenny. They were standing beside an old beat up motorcycle, working on it together. Levi was a mess, but he had a hint of a smirk on his face.

“Tch. That thing really was a piece of shit.” He flipped the page and I smiled at the picture. Levi as a baby in someone’s lap. His eyes went wide and he clawed for my hand. “Fuck…Eren. This…It’s her.” I’d never really seen her face before, and the image before me struck a chord somewhere deep inside. The woman that Levi adored. The strong woman that loved Levi for who he was. She was beautiful. She had the same grey eyes as Levi and in this picture, the same black hair as Levi. Although it was streaked with a few greys. Baby Levi was adorable. I grinned at the picture and he looked at me through wet eyes.

“She’s beautiful, Levi. To be honest, you look more like her than you do your own mother.” He snorted and tilted his head against mine.

“Compassion and looks must have passed a generation, hmm?” he joked and I nuzzled his cheek. He flipped the page. Another picture of Kenny and him. Kenny had him in a headlock and OH MY GOSH. Levi had long hair?!

“Your hair was long?!” I looked at the picture in awe. His hair was down to his shoulders and there was absolutely no undercut. I couldn’t believe it.

“Call it my rebellious stage, brat. My parents just loved it. That was the same year I got my eyebrow pierced.” I laughed as he flipped the page. It was definitely a more recent picture. His eyes slammed shut and the album slipped from his fingers.

“Levi?!”

“Eren-“ I picked it up from the floor and left it closed on my lap. “This…this is so hard.”

“I know.” I pressed a kiss to his lips and red eyes looked up at me. “But you have me here.” I brushed my fingers through now disheveled bangs and he nodded. “We can do this together.” Shaky fingers flipped the book open again and my eyes fell on a picture of Levi and a now older Nana together, sitting at a dining table. He was inking in a manga panel and she had her arm wrapped around his shoulder. He was openly sobbing now, tears leaking into my shirt. “I love you, Levi. I love you so much. And she really did too.” He nodded and flipped the page again, revealing three Ackermans piled onto a couch with a plate of brownies in Levi’s lap. Kenny was grabbing for the plate, Levi was stretching away from him and he was practically falling over into Nana’s lap. I didn’t bother to ask who took the photo, now wasn’t the time for that. Levi was too upset.

He turned the page to the last picture and a whole new set of tears started. It was him and Nana again. She looked pale. I could tell that from the picture, but they were surrounded by paintings. There was a Picasso behind them and they were hugging. I felt Levi go limp in my arms and he fell against me, knocking the album out of my hands and me down against the wooden floor gently as he fell on top of me. I wrapped the blanket around us and just let me stay there, wrapped in the safety of my arms. The safety of the blanket that his Nana had made him.

“I was so fucking stupid! How did I not know?!” He screamed it into my chest and sobbed. “Eren…she was so sick and I didn’t even notice…” I pulled him closer, wrapping him tighter in our cocoon of blanket and limbs and buried kisses in his hair.

“Levi, she said herself she didn’t want to tell you because that’s what it would be about constantly. That’s what everyone would see. She wanted to enjoy her last days with you, and by looking at those pictures, it looks like she had a blast.” He cried against me for a while in silence and all I could do was stroke his hair and softly sing the only song I could think of. Shingeki of course…

 _Will I stay where it's safe and sound?_  
Or will I fight 'till I hit the ground?  
Inside this bitter cage, all the flowers wilt down in the crimson sky.

I cupped his cheek in my hand and caressed it, trying to soothe him anyway I could. I knew he was hurting. I just wanted that hurt to go away. I wanted to see my love smile again. Just like he had yesterday.

  
_Take my hand, will we run or stay_  
In this world, full of cruelty?  
Will we take arms,  
With the hopes to see the sun again?

_We pray..._

Levi looked up at me with glassy eyes. Eyes that had already cried out all of the tears that they’d had and he rested his head up on my shoulder, snuggling against me, sniffling every once in a while. My fingers were twisting and combing through his hair as I sung to him softly. I still didn’t have confidence in my own voice, but all that mattered is that it calmed Levi down.

 _Do we lack the strength to fight?_  
Have we lost the will to fly?  
  
The world is dark...  
The world is cruel...  
But still, we hang on tight...

If this was hard for Levi, just going through a trunk of things, I can’t imagine what’s its going to be like going through a whole fucking house in a couple of weeks. Ugh. I shook the thought from my head and continued my kisses and feather light touches.

 _If this final breath could somehow save this world_  
I'd breathe my last sigh and close my tired eyes  
And all the ones we lost, we'd find again  
In this beautiful world we've wished for.

“Eren…don’t leave me…”

“I’ll never leave you, Levi.” I pulled the blanket around us even tighter and flashed him my ring, just to cement the fact. “We’re getting married soon, remember? You’ll never be able to get rid of me after that.” He let out a tired snort and his fingers curled into my shirt.

 _But the world grows darker..._  
We can't recover...  
This narrow cage that we depend on slowly crumbles...  
  
Is this the end we cannot mend?  
We're slowly dying...  
  
If we're here, even with fear,  
We must keep fighting...

“We just have to keep fighting together, Levi. We can do this.” Soft snores were vibrating through my own chest and I smiled as I ran my fingers through his hair again. He had exhausted himself. I looked under the edge of the blanket to see an eyeliner streaked face, peacefully sleeping against me. I pressed a kiss to his forehead and settled down myself. Paris could wait. Levi was always more important. Always.


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I'm dragging Paris out, but I love to see them happy :3
> 
> Also, just a reminder. I'll be at Matsuricon in Columbus the 14th-16th. Anyone else? Hmmm? ;)
> 
> Thank you to my awesome beta!!! ERWIN!!!! :D 
> 
> The songs are  
> The Amity Affliction- 15 Pieces of Flare  
> The Amity Affliction- Give it All  
> Shinee- The Reason
> 
> Give the author some love? XD

The next day

Eren’s POV

 

I awoke to the birds chirping outside the window and the hum of the traffic of the streets below. I reach over gently to the nightstand and grabbed my phone, being careful not to disturb Levi. It was a little after 8, and I was already up for the day. That wasn’t really a surprise to me though, considering we had turned in pretty early last night. Yesterday was an emotionally trying day for Levi, and although I was there to help him through it, I knew he was exhausted beyond measure. We’d napped right there in the floor together for a couple of hours after he’d pretty much cried himself to sleep. I’d attempted to make us dinner yesterday and it actually didn’t turn out too bad to be soup and sandwiches. Afterwards we had just cuddled in bed and Levi had snuggled up in my arms and fallen asleep again. I wasn’t about to protest to him getting the much needed rest he needed.

I glanced at my phone. 2 texts and 1 missed call.

**Armin: Want to skype?**

**Oh Crap! The time difference!**

**Missed Call: Armin**

I grinned at the texts and looked at the last message. The last one was sent 15 minutes ago. Armin must be up watching a movie or something.

**To Armin: You still up?**

Levi shifted in my arms and I pressed a kiss to his forehead. He looked rested at least, the lines of stress and exhaustion gone from his face. He nuzzled closer to my chest and I adjusted the comforter over us, pulling it right up over his shoulders. I saw a small smile creep over his lips and he started his soft breaths again.

**Armin: Yeah! Red Bull and Black Butler marathon!!! I’ll pause it if you want to skype.**

I debated it for a moment, leaving the warmth of the bed and the soft arms wrapped around me, but I missed Armin. I gently rolled out of bed and Levi let out a soft whine, protesting in his sleep. I covered him back up and tucked the pillows around him, making sure he was nice and comfortable, before I kissed his cheek. I grabbed the laptop and headed into the living room to set up skype.

Armin was already signed in and I smiled and waved at him as he popped up on my screen.

“EREN!!!”

“Hey!!!” Mikasa jumped into view next to Armin and I jumped up and down. “You didn’t say you were both there!”

“WE ARE!!! She’s here at Erwin’s!” Armin said with a smile. “We are all watching Black Butler! Well…were!” Armin started chuckling and turned the computer to the pile of blankets in front of the TV. Erwin was snoring loudly, passed out in his PJ’s next to a spilled bowl of popcorn. Sonny was sleeping soundly on his chest, and Kirara was curled up on his lap. How could he sleep so soundly with that many cats on him?!

“Oh. My. Gosh. Don’t move the screen!” I screen capped it and saved it for later. Levi was going to love it.

“Cute, isn’t it!” Armin said with a giant smile.

“The cats or your boyfriend?” I smirked at Armin and his face went bright red.

“EREN!!!”

“HA! Okay guys, I need your help with something.”

“Sure. What’s up?” Armin said as he leaned against Mikasa.

“Levi…well he’s been having a rough couple of days. We’ve had some great ones! Don’t get me wrong, but, I just want to do something to cheer him up.” I frowned as I looked at my best friends.

“Hmm…well how about a picnic or something. OH! Have you been to the Eiffel Tower yet?” Mikasa asked with a smile. “EREN. Are those hickies all over your neck- WAIT? Did you get your ears pierced?!” She peered at the screen and I blushed, pulling the nearest blanket up over me.

“UGH! THIS ISN’T ABOUT ME!”

“Okay okay! But I definitely suggest the picnic.”

“Yeah, I think that sounds good. We haven’t been to the tower yet.” Armin yawned and nuzzled Mikasa’s shoulder.

“Hang in there Blondie! We’ve still got 5 more episodes!”

“I’m sleepy now that we paused it. Mikasaaaaaa.” She laughed at him and I couldn’t help but laugh along.

“Go finish watching your show guys. I know it’s late there. I’ll catch up with you later this evening when it’s actually daytime there.” They both gave me sleepy nods and I waved at them. “love you guys.”

“Love you too, Eren!” They answered in unison and I felt my heart tug a little. A little piece of my family was back in the states, and I longed to be there with them, but my whole heart was asleep in the other bedroom. I turned off the laptop and went into the bedroom, tiptoeing my way around. I grabbed my clothes out of the suitcase and ran into the bathroom. After a quick shower, I was second guessing my outfit, but I decided not to switch out clothes. Levi said I looked great in anything I wore. I just wanted to be comfortable. I loved the skirt I’d pulled out of the suitcase and I wanted to wear it.

The black fabric felt silky in my hands and I smiled at the pleating and multiple layers. I loved the way it flowed and moved. I wasn’t brave enough to wear it without the tights yet, but maybe one day… I slipped the grey tights on over my underwear and looked down at my legs. They did look nice. I pulled on the skirt and smiled at the feeling. Soft, and free-flowing. It didn’t weigh me down like jeans or shorts. This was something completely different. I threw a Sword Art Online tank top on, and nodded at my outfit. So what if it didn’t match completely. I liked it. I felt good in it. I grabbed my scarf (Or Levi’s), the green one we’d bought yesterday and wrapped it around my neck as I entered the bedroom. I smelled his cologne as soon as I wrapped it around me and smiled. It was definitely his. Levi was still snoring, holding my pillow tightly with his hair sticking up wildly. I kissed his forehead, and whispered an “I love you.” Before scribbling a note on the nightstand.

Levi,

                Went out to get you a surprise. I will be back soon if you are awake before I get back. I love you.

                                                                                                                                Eren

 

I made my way to the door, being sure to grab my wallet and a key on the way. I slipped on my shoes and before I knew it, I was walking down the streets of Paris. Alone. I sighed and looked up, frowning at the blue sky. It wasn’t the same without Levi at my side. I had to cheer up. Today was going to be a good day. I just had to make sure the picnic was good. I also had to make sure I didn’t wander too far from the apartment.

I stopped at the cheese shop first, buying a few pieces of cheese for the picnic and for the apartment. The bakery was next, so I bought a fresh loaf of bread and more than enough sweets to fill up a whole picnic basket. I saw a small market across the street and bought a few apples and some more grapes. I eyed the wine for a moment and immediately decided against it.

“Wine?” The man tried to push a bottle into my arms and I shook my head.

“No, no. I can’t have alcohol.” I frowned as I looked at the bottle and pictured all of the lovers sharing a bottle of wine under the Eiffel Tower.

“OH! Wait! Something Special!” The man said it in broken English as he reach behind his bottles to pull out a fancy bottle of sparkling grape juice. I couldn’t help but smile as I took the bottle into my hands. I handed the man the little bit of cash I had in my wallet and he gave me some change. I shoved the bottle under my arm and kept walking. Let’s see fruit, bread, cheese, grape juice…oh. I stopped in front of a flower shop and smiled.

The scent was overwhelming as I walked through the open door. Bright colors surrounded me. I saw white lilies and thought of mom. No, this wasn’t a time for lilies. I walked straight to the roses. I knew exactly what I wanted today. There was no doubt in my mind.

“Bonjour, combien je vous aider?” I looked puzzled and pointed at the red roses in front of me.

“U-Ugh….Can I have 12…please.” She looked just as puzzled and I frowned.

“Laissez-moi quelqu'un pour aider.” She walked into the back and I sighed. This was going to be hard… I looked at beautiful roses and ran a finger over the petal.

“Hello? Can I help?” I looked up and a lady with dark brown hair was smiling at me.

“Oh! Yes, I’d like 12 of these please.” I pointed to the roses again and she smiled.

“Of course! Excuse our lovely lady over there. She’s working on her English but, eh. Not so good.” She was picking out the best roses and I gave a knowing nod.

“No, No! It’s fine.”

“Hmm…a lucky lady to be getting a dozen roses?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. Obviously my outfit had raised some questions in her mind… “If not, maybe you’d be interested in the lovely miss over there. She said your eyes are something to behold.” I blushed and took a step back.

“T-They are for my fiancé.” I could feel my face scorching now and I was under the gaze of both women. The older woman muttered something in French to the younger and the younger made a sound of disapproval.

“Such a shame. Must be one hell of a woman to get roses? Anniversary? Birthday?”

“Ugh, he’s just been feeling a bit down, so no special occasion really. And yes, he is one hell of a man.” I gave her a bright grin and her eyes went wide as she picked out the last rose. She carefully wrapped the flowers and took them up front to ring me up. She said something else to the girl in French and she squeaked before running up to me.

“Rencontre d'un boy?” I raised an eyebrow at her and shook my head.

“Lorraine , English.”

“Da-ting. Boy. Dating.” Oh. I nodded and looked back and forth between the two women.

“Yes. We’ll, I’m going to be marrying him actually, but…” She smiled and gave a little hop, before pointing to my phone.

“Me montrer à quoi il ressemble!”

“She wants to see a picture.” The woman quickly translated. I pulled up one of the most recent pictures of Levi and myself at the Sacre Coeur in front of the sunset and she squealed.

“Regardez, regardez à ce!” The woman took my phone that the girl, Lorraine, was shoving into her hand and smiled.

“He’s cute. Lucky to have you green eyes.” I smiled and took my phone back.

“Thanks, but I’m just as lucky to have him.” I looked at the clock on my phone. Levi would probably be up soon. Not only that, but it was almost time for my medicine. After paying for the flowers and waving goodbye to the two, I headed back to the apartment. I quietly made my way inside, deciding to pack a messenger bag since Levi said we would take the bike to the Eiffel Tower if we went. I tucked the grape juice in first and wrapped a couple of wine glasses in some cloth napkins before packing a thin blanket and then the rest of the food.

I hid the flowers behind my back and tiptoed into the bedroom, finding Levi still snoring away, holding onto my pillow just as before. I climbed into bed, being careful not to crush the flowers and gently laid them on the bed to the side. I climbed on top of him, pressing kisses to his neck and lips. His eyelids fluttered open and a smile crept onto his lips.

“Mhmmm….Eren…” I pressed another kiss to his lips and instantly deepened it, ignoring his initial protest. His hands found my hips and he pulled me right up against him as we kissed. We broke apart and I couldn’t help but grin as I looked down at his smiling face, still half asleep but happy from being woken up by being kissed.

“Levi-“ I reach beside me and he turned his attention to the rattle of the plastic wrap. His eyes went wide as I brought the roses closer. “I got these for you this morning and I MPHH-” He crashed our lips together and the roses fell back onto the bed. His hands roamed all over, snaking over my back and down to squeeze my ass. I felt him grin into the kiss as he played with the hem of my skirt.

“How did I get so lucky?” He pulled back and stared straight into my eyes with a huge smile on his face. Soft fingers came up to stroke my cheek and I leaned into the touch, feeling the electricity run through my skin. Even after all these months, I still felt the same way about Levi. Every touch. Every kiss. I cherished every single one.

“I think the same thing every single day.” I beamed at him and he kissed me again, before we eventually broke apart so he could admire his bouquet of roses.

“These are beautiful Eren.” I nuzzled into his neck as he smelled the roses and ran his fingers through my hair at the same time.

“I packed us a picnic too…” I felt him bury a kiss in my hair and I couldn’t help but giggle against his neck.

“Did you? I’m guessing you have plans for today then?”

“I thought maybe…if you are feeling up to it we could have our picnic in front of the Eiffel Tower.” I felt his fingers trail down my neck and I looked up at him.

“That sounds amazing to me.” After we lounged around in bed for a bit longer, Levi got up and gave me my shot then headed to take a shower and I put his roses in water in the living room (Mostly for fear that the vase would meet the same fate as the other in the bedroom). I heard a knock on the door and glanced towards the back of the apartment. Levi was still in the shower. I looked out the peep hole in the door to see Kenny staring at me. I opened the door to let him inside and he smiled at me, before looking me up and down.

“Nice legs, Eren.” I blushed before shutting the door behind him.

“Levi is in the shower.”

“I can wait. I came to drop these off for you, since I’m leaving tomorrow.” Kenny handed me a pair of boots and I nodded. “Levi mentioned your size a few days ago and since I’m leaving tomorrow, I figured you could use them.”

“Thanks Kenny!” I heard the bathroom door open and then footsteps wandered up behind me.

“Oh…” I turned around to see Levi with just a towel wrapped around his hips.

“Nice to see you too little brat.” Kenny said with a smirk. Levi shook his head and hugged me around my waist.

“Not what I meant, Kenny. You know that.”

“Nice piercings.” Kenny snorted and I felt Levi lean his forehead into my back.

“At least I didn’t come in here naked.”

“So you are a nudist now?” Kenny joked as he plopped down on the couch.

“I’m going to get dressed.” I felt him press a kiss to the middle of my back, before he walked back towards the bedroom.

“So what are your plans today short stack?!” Kenny yelled across the apartment.

“We are going to the Eiffel Tower. I’d like to stop by the jewelry shop on the way also, if that’s alright with you Eren?”

“Of course!”

“Jewlery shop?” Kenny raised an eyebrow at me and I sat on the couch beside him.

“A friend of your mother owns it.”

“Can I tag along Levi?!” Levi emerged from the bedroom, hair still damp and brows furrowed.

“No.”

“Come on, Levi! I want to meet this guy.” Levi sighed and looked at me.

“Kenny…” He took a step closer to me and I laced our fingers together.

“Levi, it won’t hurt if he comes to the jewelry shop, right? He just wants to meet your Nana’s friend.”

“But…” Levi was fussing with my fingers nervously. “I…”

“You’re hiding something. Fess up.” Levi shot a glare towards Kenny. Levi looked at me nervously and I pulled him down into my lap without warning. I had a feeling what he wanted to get at the jewelry shop.

“EREN!” He hid his face in my neck and I grinned. After a long sigh and a grumble, he gave in. “F-Fine…we got engaged.”

“What?! Really?!” Levi looked up at Kenny nervously as he clawed at my hand. He nodded, well if it could barely be registered as a nod and Kenny smiled. “Congratulations!”

“And we haven’t really told anyone else.” I added as I rubbed circles on Levi’s shoulder. “So keep it under wraps for now.

“Sure!”

“Everything packed up, turquoise?” Levi muttered to me and I nodded.

“Yeah, unless you want to take anything to the jeweler.” Levi frowned before tugging me to me feet. Kenny watched us as he silently pulled me towards the closet and opened it, bringing out the old chest. I held his hand and sat beside him as he pulled out the jewelry box and went through the scrap pieces. He was already wearing the silver bracelet. But he carefully dug through the box, taking out knotted necklaces and rings.

“Mom left you this stuff?” Kenny kneeled down beside Levi and he nodded.

“Yeah, she said to take it to her friend and have him make me something with it.” Kenny just gave Levi a pat on the shoulder. “Besides the bracelet. She told me to have it engraved.”

“I remember that bracelet. She loved that thing.”

“That and her locket…but the locket isn’t in here.” Levi frowned and I rubbed his hand with my free one.

“Maybe it’s just been misplaced?” I suggested.

“Or it could be in the other house.” Kenny said with a soft smile.

“She may have wanted you to have the locket, Kenny.” Levi said with a sad smile. “I understand though. You are her son.” He nodded and gave Levi another pat on the back.

“You were special to her too, Levi. We’ll both always have a piece of her heart. Now, lets go enjoy Paris.” He smiled at Levi and Levi dumped the pieces of jewelry into my hands before standing up.

“Can you put those in the zipper pocket in the messenger bag?” I nodded and secured the knotted mess into place. Necklaces, rings, earrings. All shining with obvious real gold, silver and gems, but nothing that would fit Levi’s style and some of them were damaged. Levi frowned at my outfit. “Eren…you need to at least put the jacket on and boots on.” I slipped on the boots that Kenny had brought and they fit fine, coming up to my calf.

“I’ll be fine in sneakers for the day.” Kenny said with a shrug. “Besides you two are staying longer. I’m heading out first thing tomorrow.”

“Thanks Kenny.” Levi said with a smile. I slipped on the heavy jacket next, zipping it up with Levi’s help. Levi zipped up his jacket next and we grabbed our helmets after I slung my messenger bag over my shoulder. After locking up the apartment, we headed downstairs to the bikes.

Levi hopped up on the bike and I got on the back of the bike after he started it, wrapping my arms around him. I heard Kenny rev his bike and before I knew it, we were following Kenny through the streets. I felt my skirt fluttering in the wind, but I paid no mind to it as I gripped on to Levi. Kenny knew where we were going. Levi had given him the address before we left, and we were zooming in and out of streets. Levi was speeding behind Kenny, obviously blowing through speed zones. Suddenly we came to a hault in front of a house that had a small sign in the front. Jewelry by Rivaille.

I hopped off the bike and unzipped my jacket, before I draped it over my arm and took off my helmet. Levi and Kenny did the same and I followed them inside the small shop.

“Bonjour-“ The older man looked at us and stopped dead in his tracks. “Oh… my my…I knew… I knew this day would come. Clarisse was a lovely woman. I loved her.” He stood in front of Levi. “You… eyes like a stormy sea. Jet black hair. You must be Levi.” Levi nodded and I walked up to him and let my hand rest on his lower back. He gave me a kind smile and his eyes fell on Kenny. “Ahhh, I didn’t expect you at the same time, but she said this might happen. Kenny?”

“Yes.”

“Come, come. I’ll show you around. Sorry if I don’t know who you are, sir. Clarisse only mentioned Levi and Kenny.” I clung close to Levi carefully, not really sure about the man. The jewelry shop was old, antique looking almost. Levi reach his hand back to me and I grasped it firmly.

“This is my fiancé, Eren.” I peered up at the older man walking behind the counter.

“Ahhh. I see. She would be very happy then.” He smiled as he stared at me. For some reason, I felt uncomfortable with his eyes on me, so I ducked behind Levi.

“So you knew Nana-ugh-Clarisse?” Levi asked as he leaned against the old jewelry counter. The man nodded and smiled fondly.

“I knew her well. Hmm… how can I even say it in words… I loved her more than there are stars in the sky…” Levi’s eyes went wide and he gripped my hand firmly. “But…” we watched the man swallow hard and take a rag from behind the counter and wipe non-existent dust away from the counter Levi was leaning on. It was old, but it wasn’t dirty. “Things don’t always work out the way you want, I suppose.”

“Did she know?” Levi asked as I saw his eyes begin to water.

“Oh yes, she knew. We spent two whole years living together. Then…” He shook his he as he tossed the rag under the counter. “She said she had to go back to the states to take care of a certain delinquent teen.” Levi’s head dropped and I rubbed his head gently. “Come to find out she left months before you were even sent her way…” Levi raised his eyebrow and shook his head curiously.

“Let me guess…” Kenny said as he draped an arm around Levi’s shoulder. “She went to the states to get treatment without telling you?” The older man nodded and Levi sighed.

“Nana was like that…she never told me either…”

“She was a handful, but I loved her. I still do. It’s been hard to get over her…” Levi nodded sadly and Kenny was frowning to the side.

“S-Sorry for your loss…” I finally spoke up behind Levi. “I can’t imagine…” He smiled warmly at me.

“Thank you… well…let’s move on to warmer conversation, huh?” Levi moved towards me and I stayed still as he dug through the messenger bag.

“Can you do anything with these pieces?”

“Sure! What do you have in mine?” Levi looked in the case as I help on to his hand and looked at the pile of jewelry his Nana had given him.

“Well…I guess I need a ring as well…”

“Hmm…” Rivaille looked at the pile of jewelry sitting in front of him and grabbed a sketchbook that he had setting off to the side, along with some markers. “Well, do you like simple rings? Will this be your engagement band? Or wedding ring?” He looked to me and I just shook my head, not knowing what to say.

“Ugh…” I saw the sadness wash over him for a moment and I rubbed my hands over his fingers and hands, massaging up to his wrists.

“Levi, if you want it to be your wedding band and your engagement ring then it’s not a big deal. Don’t stress over it. I know your Nana was special to you.” I felt his fingers trembling and his eyes were staring straight into mine.

“I-I…I just want to keep it…and…” I nodded and pulled him into a hug.

“I know.” His face was buried in my shoulder in a matter of seconds and I was rubbing his back, soothing him before he let himself fall into sobs. “And I actually REALLY like my promise ring…” He pulled back to look at me with a curious look.

“S-Seriously?”

“Yes. I’d like to hang on to it for a while.” I smiled at him and he kissed me right there, pulling me down and making my stomach twist in a knot. We heard the older man clear his throat behind us and we jumped apart with red faces. “Sorry!”

“Not at all!” He said with a smile as he held up his sketch. “Do you like this? It’s a bit simple, but most people like simple when it comes to bands.” Levi looked at the sketch and nodded.

“Eren, what do you think?” I looked at the sketch and immediately loved the colors. A silver band with a gold stripe down the middle. Three inset stones. A diamond in the middle and two stones one the side.

“I love it! But…what are the stones on the side? I guess the middle is a diamond?”

“Yes. This diamond here.” He pulled a ring out of the pile a showed us the broken ring. But in the middle the main stone remained. A gorgeous diamond. “And I thought maybe since she has so many beautiful gems, you many be able to piece in your birthstones. What are the months?”

“March.” I said as I continues to look at the sketch.

“Ahh, aquamarine. Beautiful stone. She’s got a few in this necklace.” He pushed it forward and I nodded.

“Mine is December.”

“Mhmm, the tricky month. But there are three stones for December. And she has this one-“ He slid a turquoise bracelet forward. “I’ll be able to take a piece from that.”

“So you think it will work?”

“Yes, I do.” Levi looked at me nervously and I gave his hand another squeeze. It had to be nerve wracking, just giving up her jewelry like that to be made into his ring.

“It’ll be fine, babe. Trust him.” He finally nodded and the old man gave him a smile.

“Oh…and…” Levi pulled away from me a bit to slip the silver band off of his wrist.

“Wow! I haven’t see this in a while….”

“She told me to have it engraved…”

“Absolutely! What would you like on it?” Levi swallowed hard. Had it actually thought about it?”

“Ugh…can you put Hope and Strength?” Levi reach for my hand again as he slid the band over to the man and I gladly took it. “Maybe some kind of detail work around it?”

“Sure.” He wrote it down and attached it to the bracelet before putting everything on a tray. “Just give me a couple of days and it should be ready.”

“Thank you so much.” Levi was really smiling and Kenny was shaking his head in the corner.

“You are too mushy little brat.” He snorted and walked towards the exit. “Thanks old man!”

“Thank you!” We both said in unison as we followed Kenny to the door. He was suiting up for his bike already, and Levi’s arm was around my waist as we watched him zip up his jacket.

“Take care of yourself, Levi. You too Eren. I should see you around back home, but I’m not sure when.” He smiled at us both and Levi nodded, his fingers dancing against my back. “But keep me informed about the wedding plans.” Kenny said with a wink. “You HAVE to put this one in a dress.” I squeaked before he leaned in to hug us both. Levi was laughing with Kenny and I felt my face melting. “I’m heading out. Love ya, Levi! See ya Eren!” I waved at Kenny and wished him safe travels before he jumped on the bike and sped off.

 

Levi snaked his arms back around my waist and pulled me close, grinning up into my neck.

“Ready for a real ride?”

“LEVI!”

“No! I’m serious! I’m taking you on a ride before we go to the tower. It’s a change of plans, but I’m being fucking spontaneous. Deal with it. Damn brat.” My eyes went wide as he placed a kiss on my lips and I zipped up my jacket, shoving an earphone in my ear before I pulled on my helmet. I started my playlist and shoved my phone down in my jacket pocket, making sure it was secured in place. I watched Levi start the bike and carefully hopped up behind him. Maybe tights and a skirt were the best choice for a long ride through Paris, but Levi was in charge so…

 

_I saw the bridge today, I thought I had it burned_  
Made a stop to memories, I drowned out and had covered  
Falling down into the river, where we’re broken and destroyed  
And understand I saw the coming of a past I’d left destroyed

 

Levi pulled out onto the street and I held onto him tightly, watching as we zoomed in between cars and through the streets of Paris. I watched as we passed beautiful buildings that most people could only dream about. And here I was pressed up against my future husband. I was thankful. So very thankful that he’d saved me those months ago. In fact, now that I look at it, we’d really saved each other.

 

_I saw the ghost of everyday, of every year I have forgotten,_  
And the grief and the confusion  
Of a world I’d soon discover  
The ghost of myself, is still mourning all the lives I won’t discover,   
Because I buried myself forever

I heard him shift down and tap my leg. That meant one thing as we turned onto the highway. I tightened my grip around him and he opened up the throttle. I pushed my helmet into his back, trying to will the wind away from my face. He was so strong, and so grounded on the bike. I could definitely get used to this. I listened to the song and smiled to myself. How many weeks now? Less than two and we would be seeing them. I would be right in front of The Amity Affliction and I’d be there with Levi. I couldn’t be happier. I hugged myself even closer, if that was possible and looked at the buildings we were flying passed.

 

_I buried myself, and carved out new existence,_  
Where the memories were burned, and break all of my wishes,  
And now I still pull down myself, and I’m trying to find the bridge, and build the life  
And build the life, the life I always wanted

Levi was slowing down a bit. Maybe it was the fear of getting a ticket for doing 120? Who knows. I pulled up my visor a little and took a steadying breath. Tears were stinging at my eyes. The song was getting to me. Some days I could listen to their songs and they would empower me, get me through the toughest days, other days they turned me into a sobbing mess. Today the lyrics were bringing everything to the surface.

 

_Be no room, with much to give, open my eyes, and take the world, and take a breath_  
In turgid water, where I’ve hidden away,   
And I set my heart to slaughter  
And the past I’ve left destroyed

 

I was realizing just how blessed I was. I’m blessed to have a man like Levi in my life. My best friend, my protector, my lover. He’s everything to me and so much more. And then I have my new family. The family we’ve made for ourselves. Mikasa, Armin, Erwin, Hanji, Isabel, Farlan, hell even Jean and Marco. They were all like family to us. I was thankful for all of them. I was thankful that I made it through school. That Levi got accepted into Manga School, that I fucking survived my accident. I felt the tears leaking down my cheeks, and I was a little happy that Levi couldn’t see me.

 

We were circling around the city and I’d finally managed to calm down. Levi was still zooming in and out of traffic and I could tell we were making our way to the tower now. I was excited. So excited. Excited to be spending this day with him, and excited to be spending the rest of my life with him. Sure our pasts were full of scars, but we had each other to mend those old wounds.

 

_I saw the ghost of everyday, of every year I have forgotten,_  
And the grief and the confusion  
The ghost of myself, is still mourning all the lives I won’t discover,   
Because I buried myself forever

I was determined to be the best husband I could be. We were going to be happy, and live a great life. Nothing was going to stand in our way.

 

__  
My future, will not, be defined, by my past.  
My future, our future.

Levi ripped me from my thoughts as he parked the bike. We shoved our jackets into the pack on the bike and locked our helmets on the side.

“This is as close as we can get.” I saw the tower in the background and smiled. We were actually here! I took his hand and pulled him towards the famous landmark.

“Let’s go!”

“Alright, alright!” He laughed as he followed me. “Someone’s excited.” We walked for a bit, until we arrived at walkway leading to it. There we tons of people taking pictures. We did our ritual of taking pictures of each other and forcing others to take photos. This time Levi returned the favor for a young couple, before returning to my side. He pointed to my earphones hanging from my pocket before I offered him one side, then sticking the other in my ear. His arm snaked around my waist and his other hand reach for mine. I hummed happily.

 

_Just take it all, my heart, my mind, my every word from out of my lungs.  
My every breath and every thought, and every word I've ever sung._

 

Levi leaned his head against my shoulder and I squeezed his hand as we walked along the path. Today was pretty perfect. The sun was out, the bike ride had been really nice, and I felt happier than ever with Levi’s arms wrapped around me.

 

_And though I'm glad to help you out, and get your feet back on the ground,  
please understand I'm just a man - you understand? I'm just a man._

Levi stroked his fingers over mine and I smiled as he kissed my shoulder.

“Are you excited for the show?”

“Beyond excited. I was thinking about it earlier.” He smiled and hugged me closer. I loved this. Walking close to Levi and not caring what anyone thought. I was done with caring about others. I loved Levi and I was thankful for every moment we had together. He was going to be my husband.

 

_And I feel helpless when I stumble, and my anxiety escapes;  
I lose all hope and I'm afraid that once again I've lost my place._

 

“Mhmm, I’m excited too.” His eyes stared straight into mine. Those grey pools looking a bit lighter than normal. He seemed…happier. Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders almost. He looked free. We finally arrived right at the base of the tower and I couldn’t believe it. I grinned like an idiot and spun Levi in circles. “How about we go up right before sunset? Seems to be our tradition for photos.”

 

_I give it all, and when I fall, I get up and give some more.  
Until there's nothing left of me - just some bones stacked on the floor._

 

“Sure!” I kissed his cheek and he snorted before pulled me in close for a deep kiss. One that I’m sure made me turn red and made everyone stare. Levi broke the kiss and pulled me along to a nice spot in the grass. Away from everyone pretty much.

_But every song's a two way street, I give to you, you give to me._  
And as long as that remains I will still haul my heavy feet.  
Because you're all worth every word, and yeah you're all here in my heart.  
And I know we can sing together to avoid falling apart.

 

“This good?”

“Yulp!” I beamed at him and took out my earphone before opening the messenger bag and laid out the blanket. “Ready to eat?” Levi nodded and we sat down on the blanket. I sat out the food and offered him a wine glass.

“Eren, we can’t-“ He said it sadly as I pulled out the bottle.

“It’s grape juice!” I grinned and popped the lid open. He raised his eyebrow before he looked at the bottle.

“You are beyond adorable.” His fingers ran through my hair as he held out his glass. I filled it halfway and poured some in my own, before screwing the top back on. We happily ate our lunch, munching on cheese, fresh fruit and bread. “This was a great idea, Eren.”

“Thanks! I’m glad you like it.” After the leftovers were packed away, we were both too lazy to move. All Levi could think to do was push the earbud back into my ear and pull me closer. I shoved my bag to the side, giving us more rom on the small blanket.

He laid on his back, stretched out, and held his arm out for me as I snuggled right up against his side, resting my head on his shoulder. My leg wrapped around his, and I smoothed out my skirt to make sure it was still in place. Levi tugged me even closer and I let out a soft breath, closing my eyes for a moment against him. Warmth. Love. Peace. That scent that was only Levi drifted so close and enveloped me, but there was also the smell of fresh grass and flowers. Soft music hummed through the earphone and nestled close with Levi, I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

I closed my eyes again, remembering the English lyrics to the song. Today was just full of emotion for me. I hugged Levi tight around his chest and felt his fingers curl around my other hand.

_To me, who was walking that dark road alone  
To me, who wasn’t even aware of my spilling tears_

 

A kiss was pressed to my forehead and then I felt Levi lean his chin down against my head. Closer. That’s all I craved was the closeness. His touch. His kisses. The way his fingers lit my skin on fire.

 

_You came closer like a blinding light and shined on me_  
Your hands took away my tears  
Now I have realized

 

I felt my headband shift and for a second my stomach sank, but then I remembered, it was just Levi here with me in this moment. No one was intruding, and if they did, I’m 99% sure Levi would immediately tell them to fuck off. His hand moved and he tugged my headband right back into place with a smile, then he kissed me on top of the head this time, before his chin sank back into place.

 

_The many times I’ve shared with you_  
The happy moments I’ve spent without realizing  
The road that I’ve walked so far  
The road that I’ve walked in loneliness as I cried  
You make it all different  
I’ve come to know now  
The reason why  
This road before me is beautiful

“I love you.” Levi’s voice was just above a whisper, but I struck something deep inside me. Something that nearly pulled tears from my eyes. I managed a small nod and tucked my face in closer to his side.

“I love you, too.” He hummed happily along with the song and the shoulder I was so carefully tucked into shifted a bit, leaning me against his chest as his fingers ran through my hair, playing with the waves. I looked up at him as he did and he was smiling down at me fondly, a look of only pure affection tugging his lips up into a lazy smile.

_Even if I don’t tell you for a long time_  
How is it that you know all of my feelings?  
I’m sorry for only leaning on you

“Eren…”

“Hmm?” I smiled up at him, and he cupped my cheek.

“So…I have a question for you. And you can absolutely say no. This is just a discussion a-and…ugh…” Levi gave me a nervous smile and I kissed him to calm him down.

_I reach my hand out, now I’ll hold you  
Can you understand these feelings of mine?_

 

“Then let’s talk. Captain.” His eyes went wide and he gripped my hand.

“Fuck…you just…know how to fluster me.” I giggled and nuzzled his cheek with my own.

“Go ahead, Levi. I’m listening.”

“Eren…what do you think about getting married…before we leave for Japan?” My stomach dropped and Levi nervously laughed. “I know it’s soon, a-and, ugh, just forget it. It’s too soon, so-“ I shut him up with a kiss and he immediately relaxed against me, fingers sliding smoothly through my hair. We pulled apart, barely inches from each other and I smiled against his lips.

 

_The many times I shared with you_  
The happy moments I spent without realizing  
The road that I’ve walked so far  
The road that I’ve walked in loneliness as I cried  
You make it all different  
I’ve come to know now  
The reason why  
This road before me is beautiful

 

 

“I’m ready whenever you are. Name a time and place and I’ll be there.” He grinned at me, hugging me tight against him.

“How about, the middle of next month. The top step of Montmartre? With all of our friends.”

“Seriously?!” I beamed at him, not believing a word he was saying.

“I’m absolutely serious.”

“YES. YES. YES.” I threw my arms around his neck and he rolled me over on my back, sliding me into the grass. “I’d love that more than anything, Levi!”

“We’ll set a date then. I’m sure Nana would think that’s a good reason to use some of her money.” He chuckled against my neck and I smiled.

_The dark memories that still remain in my mind_  
Slowly begin to resemble you and are dyed with light  
Help me so that the light doesn’t die out  
So I can always shine on you

Happiness. Complete and total happiness. Only to be made even better when we finally said our vows at the top of the stairs in Montmartre. I’m sure it was going to be total hell planning a wedding in a different country, but we would have tons of friends to help.

Levi hovered over me, looking straight into my eyes and he smiled again. Fucking smiled a true smile, so sweet and honest that I almost lost it. He felt it too. He felt that moment of peace. The tables turning for us in the right direction. We were going to be a family soon, and I couldn’t wait. He leaned down and kissed me, gently at first. He licked at my lip, and I still felt him smiling. Felt the corners of his mouth tugged up, and then the kiss deepened. Deepened into something more. Growing. Passionate. All while remaining sweet. His fingers still combed through my hair and I decided right then, that I never wanted to turn back and face my past again. I wanted to run straight into the future with Levi.

 

_All the times I’ve shared with you_  
The road that I’ve walked so far  
I promise you that we’re living in the same time now  
All of this was you  
The reason why the road before me is so beautiful


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://8tracks.com/xxdeja_uchihaxx/love-can-save-us
> 
> I made a playlist for LCSU! Go listen :D
> 
> Thanks to my beta Erwin!!!

_Levi leaned against the wall, a pensive look on his face. His arms were crossed as he stared out over the landscape at the rising sun. I sat there on the edge of the crumbling building, dangling my legs over the ledge. A light gust blew through the valley and I watched as it picked up his cloak and tossed it, along with his cravat._

_“What cha thinking about, kid?” I shook my head and stared back out over the landscape._

_“Just…I’m ready for this war to be over.” He hummed in agreement and I heard his boots move against the blocks behind me, his gear rattling as he did. His arms wrapped around me, and I leaned back against him. We were alone for once, since the expedition started 4 days ago. I was tired and I was gross, but that didn’t stop Levi from brushing his lips against my neck._

_“Same here. Just be patient.” I let out the breath I’d been holding and closed my eyes as his fingers started to run through my hair. “We’ll have our day of freedom, love.” We heard a rumble and someone yelled about the south side of the building being hit._

_“FUCK. Can’t get a moment of peace…” His fingers left my hair and he pulled me to my feet. I followed him quickly to the other side, and we froze. Three titans stared us in the face. Levi pulled his swords out and launched into them, taking down one. I, not as gracefully, went for the second, and managed to blind it, then Levi caught it’s neck. The last was a team effort to take down. We returned to the pile of rubble before us and my stomach lurched. There were tons of people hurt. Levi looked pissed. His fingers were shaking as we walked. We had to find Erwin and report._

_“Eren-“ I tried not to look. I tried to keep my face away from the streaks of blood and focus on the undercut in front of me and the wings on his back, but that voice I knew so well pulled me away. Armin was laying there, bloody and bruised. I almost screamed at the sight of him. Mikasa, also covered in blood, was tending to his arm. Jean was sitting to the side, handing her makeshift bandages._

_“Armin!!” I rushed over to him and I heard Levi run after me. “What happened?!”_

_“A piece of the wall hit him.” Mikasa explained. “I’m trying to get the bleeding to stop.”_

_“ARMIN! It’s going to be okay!” He was reaching for my hand and with shaky fingers, I took it. I heard Levi sink down beside me and rest a hand on my shoulder. He was my support. When everything turned to shit… I couldn’t help the tears leaving my eyes as I heard the gasp he took. “Stay with us Armin!”_

_“I love you guys... Take care of each... other.” He took another gasping breath and his fingers went loose in my hand._

_“A-ARMIN! NO! NO!!!” I screamed and shook my head in disbelief. Blank blue eyes were staring at me, and Mikasa shut them. “NO! NO! Please!!” I was sobbing and choking, not believing what had happened. I felt strong arms wrap around me and I fell into them. Right against him. “Please…Levi…”_

_“I’m so sorry…” I gripped at his shirt and the straps across his chest, sobbing. Tears were streaming fast and what seemed never ending against him, and all he could do was rub my head and whisper his apologies to me. “I know it hurts. I know. I know. But you have to keep going. For humanity. For everyone.” I nodded against him and just stayed there for a few more minutes. Just resting in his safe arms for a few more minutes…_

“ARMIN! NO!” I woke up and my chest was tight. I couldn’t breathe. I clawed at the sheets and gasped. The lamp turned on in a matter of seconds and Levi was right there, grabbing my hand.

“Eren! Eren! It’s alright! It was a dream.”

“NO. NO.” I sobbed and gasped. I couldn’t breathe. Armin’s dead eyes kept flashing through my mind. No. No. No.

“Eren! Listen to me! Breathe! In and out!” I tried. I really tried, but my fear was consuming me. Overwhelming me. I felt Levi’s arms wrap around me and I sobbed harder.

“P-Please!”

“I’m here! Just fucking breathe!” I gasped again, and fuck it hurt. It hurt to breathe. My whole chest hurt. I held onto Levi. Onto his arms. I grasped onto him as sobs jerked through me and I desperately tried to breathe. I couldn’t get the images out of my head. The blood. I screamed. I fucking screamed and pushed him down against the pillows so I could just bury myself away.

“A-ARMIN!!” I took another gasping breath and shook. Trembled and shook.

“Armin?” I nodded and clawed at his shirt. “Armin’s fine! Here!” Levi moved under me and I struggled to take a breath. I heard the phone ringing. Levi had it on speaker.

“Hello?” I recognized it as Erwin’s voice. He’d obviously been asleep.

“Put Armin on.” Levi snapped.

“Okay okay! Armin…”

“Hmmm….”

“Armin, talk to Eren.” Levi demanded. I whimpered against his chest and his free hand rubbed the nape of my neck.

“About what?”

“Anything. What did you do yesterday?”

“What did we do Erwin? I can remember…” Armin was talking to me. It was his voice. I shuddered against Levi and tried to take a breath.

“We stayed up late watching anime.”

“Oh! That’s right! We skyped, remember Eren?” I did. I remembered. I nodded into Levi’s chest and clung to him. “Well…we didn’t get much further in. We all fell asleep.” He chuckled and yawned. “Hmm…did you guys finally go to the tower?” I wanted to answer, but all I could managed was a nod.

“We did.” Levi answered for me.

“Oh! I’d love to go! To see the Arc de Triumph! Do you know when it was built, Eren? Or why?! I’ll tell you!! It was…” Just hearing Armin ramble about it was enough to soothe me. I managed to take a breath. Then another. And even though my tears were still dripping, I was breathing.

“That’s it Eren, breathe.”

“AND! The Notre Dame! You HAVE TO GO!!! It was built-“ I wiped my eyes and settled against Levi. He took a deep breath and relaxed a little. He moved a bit, setting his phone on the pillow beside us as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer.

“It’s okay. See? He’s fine.” I nodded and nuzzled his chest.

“The stained glass! YOU WILL LOVE IT EREN! Especially from an artist’s point of view and-“

“It seemed so real, Levi…”

“It’s all in the past, Eren. A life that’s behind us. This life is better. Calmer. We don’t have to worry about titans here.” I shuddered thinking about it and nodded.

“You’re right.”

“Are you listening Eren?” Armin’s voice echoed through the room and I sniffled.

“Y-Yeah. Stained Glass?”

“YES! It’s beautiful! From what I’ve seen in the pictures! The cathedral-“

“All that matters is that we found each other and that we are happy here. Everything will be fine.” I nodded and shut my eyes, listening to the combination of Levi and Armin’s voices.

“Have you been to the Louvre yet?!”

“Not yet, blondie.” I managed a small smile at Levi’s nickname for him as he pulled the blankets up over us and settled it right over my shoulders. Levi started talking to Armin about the Louvre and I felt myself slipping back into sleep. Maybe their voices were lulling me…maybe it was the exhaustion brought on by the panic attack…

“Captain…” I reach for Levi as I heard myself mutter it and he kissed my forehead.

“Shhh. Rest Eren. I’ll be right here.”

 

 

_Falling. Falling. Falling backwards. Then jerking up. Up through trees. Through branches, past rocky legdes. We stayed with the group and regained our footings. I heard a familiar voice and a command that directed us back to the wall. Erwin. My stomach sank at the familiar voice. He was leading us. Green flares directed us the rest of the way and all I could manage to do was keep my attention focused on that familiar undercut._

_Eventually we heard the bells. The bells that signaled our arrival, and I knew at least for the time being we were safe. We trotted through town and my eyes were locked on Levi, all the way to the barn. We tied our horses and left them to the care of the stable attendants for once, something that Levi rarely did._

_“Eren…” I turned and looked back to Mikasa. She was handing her own horse off. Levi had his hand on my shoulder and my heart was torn. I wanted nothing more than to just curl up in a ball with Levi and hide away from the world, but…Mikasa needed me as well. She stepped up to me and pulled me into a hug. “I…I love you…”_

_“I love you too.” I felt my chest tighten and I shook my head. Not here. I couldn’t do this right now._

_“Come up to my quarters in an hour, Ackerman.” Levi said blankly. He took my hand and pulled me away from her. My eyes went wide and I just gave in, letting him tug me along by my hand. She looked hurt, but she also looked exhausted._

_“Levi…what was that about-“_

_“Shut up. You are exhausted. I’m not about to let you bawl your eyes out in a barn.” He was tugging me along through the halls and up the stairway to his room. “You’ll have a decent shower and change into some fresh clothes.”_

_“Levi…” He unlocked his room and we stepped inside, immediately kicking off our muddy boots and heading to the bathroom. Levi started the shower and started stripping me, throwing my cloak into the floor, followed by my shirt. “Thank you…” He simply nodded, ridding me of clothing, piece by piece. I took a hold of his arm, gently tugging him against me. “Please…don’t leave.” He nodded and started throwing off his own clothes, tossing them into the muddy, dirty pile. We were both exhausted and gross. It was hard to say who sighed the loudest when we stepped under the warm shower spray, but Levi coaxed me under it. He started washing me gently, soaping up my hair, then his own. Cleaning me thoroughly, and kissing me in between rinses. I missed this. I missed being this close. So close I could feel his own heartbeat right next to mine. Then I felt something else slam into me. Despair. A sob ripped through me and his arms wrapped right around my waist. I couldn’t hold it back any longer. Good thing the washing part of the shower was done and we were just standing in there for the warm spray._

_I leaned against him, dropping my head down onto his shoulder and he just pulled me closer, pushing kisses into my neck. His whispers barely echoes past the water pounding onto the tile of the shower, but I still heard them._

_“I know. I know.” I felt his hands rubbing my back, his strong arms wrapped around me. “I know it hurts. I’m here. I’m so sorry.” More kisses. More nuzzles against my neck. Eventually I calmed a bit and the shower began to cool. “Come on, lets get you out and dressed, hmm?” I followed him and just let him take care of me. He gave me some of his clothes, clothes that he had tucked way in the bottom of his drawers because they were too big. A pair of lounge pants and a white long sleeve shirt that smelled just like him. I pulled everything on and let him lead me to the bed. He pulled back the covers and tucked me right in. Just as if on cue, there was a knock on the door. He answered it and Mikasa entered, also fresh from the shower._

_“What did you-“_

_“Come in.” Levi shut the door behind her and she frowned at me, snuggled up among Levi’s fresh sheets._

_“Eren. Are you alright?” She must have noticed my red eyes and blushed cheeks. I nodded and pulled the covers up a little tighter. I saw Levi nudge her closer._

_“Just take off your shoes.”_

_“Really?” She gave him a cautious look, but proceeds to slip off her shoes and walk to the side of the bed._

_“If you don’t mind joining us, then no.” Her eyes went wide, then she timidly crawled up in bed beside of me, sticking to the far right side. She snuggled close to me and I let out a sigh. I watched as Levi grabbed a book from his bookcase and set it on the nightstand, before joining us in bed. He pulled me right into his arms, into the far left side of the bed._

_“Hey! Share Eren.”_

_“This is MY bed. He’s my boyfriend.”_

_“He’s my brother!”_

_“Tch.” She just rolled her eyes and scooted closer and I let out a small chuckle as she put her head on my chest. It reminded me of the rainy days we spent as kids inside, huddled around the fireplace. Me, Mikasa…and Armin. I started to cry again, and Levi reach for my hand. Mikasa stroked my hair and I realized that comfort surrounded me. Levi and Mikasa. They were my family. That only made me cry harder. I turned into Levi’s chest and sobbed, and I felt Mikasa’s warm hands on my back. That’s when I heard it, a similar sob, but much softer, ripped through her. I flipped around and wrapped my arms around her. I pulled her right into my arms and came undone. We cried together and I felt my shoulders shake. For a while, all I could feel was her right beside me, then the bed shifted and I felt Levi press right up against my back. He kissed my neck and I gasped, relaxing back against him._

_“Shhhh.”_

_“I…I’m going to miss him so much.” She whined. Fucking whined and Levi nuzzled my neck. My heart hurt, but it also felt warm. Warmed by the two souls wrapped around me._

_“I know. But he loved you, Eren. He loved both of you.” I nodded and wiped at my eyes. I felt so tired. So fucking exhausted. The shower did nothing but get me clean and relax my already aching and tired joints. I relaxed back against Levi and just shut my eyes, trying to picture something besides Armin’s dead eyes._

“Eren. Eren!” When I woke I felt awful. I felt like I hadn’t even slept. I whimpered and rubbed at my eyes. I pushed my face into Levi’s chest and groaned.

“Levi… Please…please…” I tugged at his shirt and he leaned down to kiss my forehead.

“What’s wrong babe?”

“Make the dreams stop. I just want to sleep.” He frowned at me and sighed.

“I’m sorry, Love. I know the dreams are painful.” I nodded and scooted down beneath the covers, hiding right underneath them. I laid my head on Levi’s stomach and just buried myself in the warmth. His fingers found my hair and started carding them through it for a few seconds before he lifted the covers up. “Babe…if you stay down there much longer, you won’t be able to breathe.” He pulled the covers back a little, just letting me rest on his stomach and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him like a teddy bear.

“You’ve barely been asleep another hour. Shut your eyes.” I whimpered, but attempted it. Levi hummed, running his fingers gently through my hair. “I’m right here. It’s alright.” I did remember drifting off for a while, but not before another nightmare took me.

 

 

"Eren, you need to get some rest." Levi sat down on the edge of the bed and handed me a glass of water along with some medication for my ponding headache. This headache wasn't from my medical condition due to the accident, no, this was from being awake for nearly two days straight. He pushed my bangs away from my face gently, a small frown on his face. I couldn't sleep. Not right now. I couldn't face those terrors so soon. I cringed at the thought.

I had tried to sleep after the dream I'd had about Armin, but all that happened was I was slammed straight back into the past. Back into the time of titans, war, and survival. Levi may have been by my side, but...I was miserable. That night I watched Jean stand in front of me. He protected Mikasa, and bled out in front of us. He knew we needed one of our strongest soldiers to win this war. I could stop crying that night. To the point that I ended up on the bathroom floor, wrapped in a blanket in Levi's arms. I threw up because I was so exhausted from crying. Like I'd cried everything I'd had to cry and nothing else would come.

So we sat there, and he gently cradled me and wrapped me up in the blanket. All I could do was wipe my tears on his shirt and lean into his touch.

"I know." He whispered it. The words barely echoing through the bathroom. "I know it hurts... I saw Farlan and Isabel..." his voice hitched and he squeezed me closer. "And it was ALL MY FAULT EREN." I gave him an unbelievable look but he shook his head. "But...we have to remember that those times are over. We are remembering horrible things, but we have the chance to be happy in this world. We can enjoy life.” I let his words soothe me that night. His silky voice, his warms arms, the beat of his heart lulling me. Eventually I calmed down, but sleep never took me since then.

“Eren. Eren. Eren.” He stroked my cheek on the last call of my name and he finally looked at me. “Come on. Get up.” I blinked a few times and nodded as he laced our fingers together and pulled me from the bed. He helped me shower, just a quick one, as I could barely manage to stand because I was so tired. It was late in the afternoon, and I was just in my underwear, but I didn’t really give a fuck. Levi didn’t seem to care either. He was wondering around in a t-shirt and boxer briefs as well.

He sat me down on the couch and started digging through the cabinets. I heard cups and dishes clinking around and everything around me was foggy and out of place. The window in the living room was open and there was a nice warm breeze blowing through, but I could care less about it. Too many thoughts about what happened back then were coursing through my mind. I heard the clink of cups in front of me and it pulled me out of my daze.

“Careful. It’s hot, babe.” Levi tried to hand me a tea cup, but my hands just weren’t working along with my brain. The cup tipped and ended up sloshing over both of us. “SHIT!” He grabbed a towel and dabbed at my hand. His leg was soaked. I grabbed the towel and wiped his leg.

“I’M SO SORRY!”

“No! No! Here-“ He grabbed the towel and I looked at his leg. It was red, and probably stinging like my hand, but obviously the majority of the tea had spilled on his thigh. Tears sprang from my eyes and I knocked the cup from his hands into the floor as I jerked him into my arms. “Eren-“ I couldn’t control anything. My emotions were everywhere and I just didn’t know what to do. I cried out as Levi pulled me down onto the couch. “EREN. SIT. NOW.” I couldn’t catch my breath. I was falling into another panic attack. But I was so tired. Too tired to panic? Was that even possible? His voice was low. Calm, low, and stern all at the same time. I followed his directions and sat, wiping at my tired eyes. I glanced at the cup on the floor. Luckily, only the handle had broken off and it hadn’t really shattered.

“I’m sorry. So, so-“

“Shhh.” Another blanket was draped over me. It was the green throw that Levi always kept with him in his messenger bag. I knew it well and it just made me shut my eyes and try to calm down. I felt the couch give beside of me, and Levi pulled me in between his legs. I tried to tilt my head back onto his shoulder, but he stopped me. “Not yet, love.” He said it sadly and kissed my cheek. I felt him shift and another cup of tea was brought to my lips. “It’s not as sweet as your cup, but you should drink it. It’s got chamomile and a few other herbs. It will help relax you.” He carefully held the cup up to my quivering lips and I sipped from it. “That’s it. Little sips.” I sipped from the cup and felt my eyelids getting heavier. I was terrified to sleep. Terrified of the nightmares, but Levi’s arms around me felt…like home. They made me feel so safe.

I heard the faint click of the porcelain cup against the coffee table, before his arms were tight around me again. We were comfy on the couch, snuggled up close together and his heart was beating right up against my back.

“Mhmm…vi….I…hmm..”

“Rest love.” I closed my eyes and warmth took me…and for once, gentle dreams.

 

 

_The gentle clink of a cup on a saucer. A twist of a smile at the corner of his lips. The dining hall was pretty much abandoned aside from the two of us, and the lone scout sweeping the hall. His hand fell onto mine and my heart sped up. Little gestures like that made me happy. Even when the world was falling apart, Levi was here to support me. He knew I wasn’t a monster. Even if I felt like it at times. His cravat hung elegantly around his neck and his legs were crossed beside of me, making him look like he truly belonged next to the king instead of fighting outside of the walls. The light from the torches on the wall caught his eyes just right, and the grey turned to pools of silver. I sipped from my own cup, smiling at the perfect blend of sugar, cream and aromatic tea._

_“How is it?” His fingers stroked mine, running over my knuckles tenderly._

_“Perfect. I still don’t know how you manage to track down sugar…” He smirked and brought my hand up to his lips._

_“Well, some brats around here don’t really like tea without it, so…” I blushed and scooted a little closer to him._

_“It’s not my fault you’ve spoiled me with sugar!” I buried my face into his shoulder and he chuckled._

_“We need to have a few treats in this shitty world, I suppose.” He wove our fingers together and looked at our hands, a contemplating look on his face. “We have to have something to keep fighting for…” His eyes slowly made their way up from our joined hand to my eyes and he smiled at me. A warm smile that made my heart leap and I squeezed his hand. “Just know Eren, you are that reason for me. My reason to always push forward. You are humanity’s hope, yes. But you are MY hope. My strength.” He leaned his head down against mine and nuzzled my forehead with his. “I love you more that words can ever say…”_

 

“I…love you too…Captain…Cap….”

“Eren.” I blinked a few times as Levi was stroking my hair. The apartment was dark. I wasn’t scared though. I remembered the things he had said and my face turned red. Even back then…Levi was…he was still absolutely in love with me. “Are you alright? You were muttering.” I nodded and turned in his arms. My neck was a little stiff, but I’d be fine.

“I had a good dream.” He smiled and tugged me right up against his chest. “We were having tea…”

“Mhmm…tell me more.” He kissed my forehead and I elected to rest my head right on his chest. I could feel the ring underneath his shirt, so I pulled back a little. Was it even sore still?

“You were teasing me about how sweet I like my tea.”

“You do like it sweet. It ruins the flavor of the leaves.” He cringed but I continued on.

“And you…you looked really sexy.” I felt myself blush at that. He chuckled lowly and his fingers massaged my scalp.

“Did I?”

“Mhmm…you were in your uniform…well minus the cloak. Your legs were crossed…that fucking cravat.”

“That’s going to get you into a lot of trouble one day, Jaeger.” I whined and he laughed.

“But we were just sitting there, drinking tea… and you were rubbing my fingers and holding my hand. It was nice. You said we all needed a treat sometimes. Everyone needed something to keep fighting for.” He hummed in agreement and we just sat there for a minute as we contemplated his words. “Then you said you loved me.”

“I did love you then. So much my heart hurt. I wanted to protect you then. I was terrified to lose the only thing I had left. And now-“ He pulled me up closer, so that his chin was resting on my head. “Now I don’t have to worry about that. I still love you. I love you the same amount, if not more, but the world isn’t like that. We don’t have to worry as much. We don’t have to fight for our lives every day. We just have to cherish the time we have together now.” I nodded and kissed his neck. “And I’m really thankful I found you again, Eren. No one else would ever fill that hole in my heart.”

“Levi!” I buried my face in his neck and he hugged me.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” It was breathy. It was needy. I never wanted anyone else, besides Levi. My lips found his neck and I sucked lightly. He let out a light moan and his hands fell to my back. Fingers were on my skin, hot and setting everything on fire. I breathed againist his neck, nipping at the skin there. I couldn’t help but think of everything. Memories. Memories from the past. Old and new. Levi would always be my protector. He wants the best for me in my life…in our life.

He have my ass a squeeze and I rolled my hips against his. I barely had any fabric between his fingers and the skin there, and when his hand dropped a little to just below the leg of my boxer briefs, I let out a trembling breath and rubbed my leg against his.

“Levi-“ He dipped his fingers underneath the fabric and buried a few kisses into my hair. “P-Please.”

“Tsk…so impatient.” He pulled his fingers back and hugged me close. I looked up into those grey eyes I adored so much and he had a mischievous smirk on his face. “You know what I think you need, Eren?” He kissed my shoulder, before pulling back to smirk at me again.

“W-What?”

“I think you need to relax. You’ve had a couple of long, stressful days.” He accentuated the last three words and eased me up from the couch. “And I also think that I should be the one to take care of you.”

“B-But…I really feel a lot better after I’ve slept and-“

“Tch.” He hooked his arm around my waist and pulled me towards the bedroom. “You clearly don’t know what’s best for you.” Levi was acting strange. His voice was…lower than usual. Smoother. Sultry almost. He had a sway to his lips that was driving me crazy. He gently pushed me back onto the bed. “So tonight-“ without a second thought he slid me up against the pillows. Fuck his strength always surprised me. “I’m in charge.” I whimpered, but nodded my head in agreement. He dug through the closet for a moment and I watched him curiously. He returned with a devious smile. I heard something hit the floor, but the other item he tossed on the bed. FUCK. “See?” One handcuff clicked into place around my wrist and inhaled sharply. “I’ll force you to go nice and slow tonight. I’ll make you relax.” He looped the chain through the headboard and adjusted the pillows around me. “Comfortable, love?” I nodded and he brought our lips together, kissing me sweetly at first, before digging his fingers into my hair and deepening the kiss. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to tug on his hair, to run my hands over his hips, his back, but all I got was the clink of metal on the headboard.

“Mhmm. Forget already?” He grinned against my lips and I shook my head.

“N-No. Just….want to touch you too.” I frowned a little and he placed another kiss to my lips.

“Don’t worry about that turquoise. Tonight is about you. Got it?” I timidly nodded as he ran his hands down my bare chest. His hands were always warm. It felt so nice. He paused and sat to the side a little. “Fuck. I guess I should have done this earlier. Safe word?” I frowned and he ran his fingers along my chin. “Not that we are going to need it. There won’t be punishment tonight.” He shook his head. “You deserve only pleasure after the shitty couple of days you’ve had. It’s just if you freak out in the cuffs or something.”

“Ugh…I don’t know.” I tried the cuffs again and tried to wrack my brain for a word. “How about cat?” Levi paused and gave me a strange look.

“Cat. Seriously?”

“WE BOTH LIKE CATS!!! JUST PLEASE!” I rattled the cuffs again and he laughed.

“How about neko then? At least it’s fucking Japanese. Can you remember that?”

“YES!” I tilted my head up and he brought his down, touching his lips to mine. He took my breath away with the kiss. Sucking on my lips, my tongue. Almost like he was trying to learn a whole new way to kiss me and I had NO objections. Until he pulled away, that was. He pulled my boxers down and off me completely, tossing them into the floor without a care. “Levi. Please. Yours too.” I wanted to see that delicious body. Those defined muscles. I wanted to feel anything I could, even if it was just from indirect contact. He nodded and stripped off his shirt and boxers. His leg was still a little pink from earlier, but it didn’t look like it was bothering him. A lid popping open drew my attention to his hands, where a small lotion bottle rested in his palm.

He poured some out and warmed up the chilly liquid in his hands, before straddling my hips. HOLY FUCK. He was concentrating as he worked the lotion into my shoulders. I rolled my shoulders weirdly. It was odd getting a massage like this, with my arms above my head, but he was reaching muscles that I didn’t even know I had. I let out a content moan and he smiled.

“Mhmm that’s it. Just relax.” I arched up under him a little. I’d be lying if I said him straddling me wasn’t tempting. He massaged all the way down my chest, my abs, my stomach. He turned once he reach my hips and started rubbing my thighs. I whimpered and sighed.

“P-Please Levi.”

“You want me to touch you?”

“J-Just a little.”

“I guess I can.” I heard the drawer open and he pulled a bottle of lube out of the drawer. He gave me that same ‘up to no good look’, before he briefly sucked me into his mouth and bobbed his head a few times. He had me writing on the bed, clanking the cuffs. “Calm down, love.” I heard the bottle pop open and his finger was rubbing at my entrance.

“LE-VI!” His finger pushed in, slowly stretching. He was taking it agonizingly slow. He added a second after a while and then pulled them out, kissing my thigh as he pulled back. I was staring down at him, watching completely mesmerized, at everything he was doing.

“Ready for something a little different, love?” I bit my lip, but nodded as he reach over beside the bed and brought up something shiny. OH MY. I whimpered and he grinned, before leaving over to suck a mark onto my thigh. “It’s not too big. I threw it in that day at Montmartre. I figured it’d be a little easier to start off with something simple like this, hmm?” My eyes went wide at the glass plug in his fingers. I swallowed hard and nodded. “And I’ll just ease it right in, so you’ll be nice and ready for me when we are done pampering you. Sound good?” I nodded and Levi leaned over me again, pouring quite a bit of lube over the clear toy.

It was cold when he pressed it against me, and it felt WAY different then his cock. I pulled away at first and he put a reassuring hand on my hip.

“Do you want to stop?” I shook my head and readjusted my hips. He swirled the tip of the plug against my entrance and began to push. I felt my muscles giving and I wanted to reach for him. So much so, that I was beating the cuffs against the bed like a crazy person. His hand on my thigh was soothing though. So comforting and I was wiggling my hips as he slowly pushed in. “That’s it.” With a final stretch, my muscles gave in and I cried out and arched my hips up as it slid in, filling me up. “How’s it feel? Good?” I nodded, tears threatening to spill. I couldn’t think straight.

“F-Feels great.”

“Awesome. Now then-“ He opened the lotion again and continued with my massage. He returned to my thighs, taking a good deal of time on my calves. But once he got to my feet, it’s like he took a whole different level of time, although it did feel amazing. I couldn’t help but try to cause a little bit of friction against the plug, and he would smirk every time I would wiggle and pant.

“You know what I like about you, Eren?” My face was hot. My whole body was fucking burning up. Levi nudged the plug a little and I moaned, rutting down on his hand. “I love everything about you. But I especially love that cock of yours.” I felt my face get impossibly hotter as he stared at my cock like it was a treat. “Like a work of art really.”

“I-I like yours too.” He chuckled and kissed my jaw, then briefly captured my lips in a hot kiss before drawing back to stare again.

“But this isn’t about me, turquoise. This is about you and that perfect cock of yours. And that tight. Little. Ass.” With each word he pushed on the plug and had me panting and gasping, not able to control any thoughts. Before I could process anything, he was licking the pre-cum off like it was a sweet treat. Sucking on the head and swirling his tongue around it like it was the most delicious popsicle he’d ever had. I could barely contain myself. I was already coming undone and he’d barely touched me.

I felt his hand worm between my legs again as his mouth sank down further and further. I couldn’t control the volume of my voice. It was just a moan at first, but then it turned into a full blown scream as he tugged on the plug as he sucked me hard. Everything was overwhelming. FUCK. I felt the big part of the plug barely pull out before popping back inside and I screamed again just as Levi took me all the way in. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t last like this.

“F-Fuck. C-C- Gonna. HYAA.” I banged the handcuffs and Levi pushed on the plug again before sucking just the same way, taking me completely in. White hot slammed into me and I screamed so hard my voice cracked. He pulled back with one last lick and pushed on the plug again. I arched up and shuddered. HOLY FUCK.

“What next, love?” More lotion poured onto his fingers and he started rubbing my thighs again. I wanted to cry from the constant touch. I was so happy. To have to one I loved cherishing me like this, but on the opposite side of that, I wanted to touch him as well. His warm, slick hands rubbed over my balls, and massaged my ass. I felt a twinge run through my cock and I closed my eyes. FUCK. Already? I was getting hard again and I didn’t even think it was possible to go again that soon. I couldn’t process thoughts, let alone words.

Slick fingers rubbed all over me, up my stomach, my chest, my tense shoulders. Levi’s lips met mine and we kissed. A deep kiss, that had me desperately trying to break loose of my confines. I could taste myself on his lips and I needed to be closer. I was absolutely craving him. I whimpered and shook the cuffs again.

“Tsk tsk. Eren.” His fingers ran along my arms and I shook the cuffs again.

“P-Please.” He sucked on my neck a bit, before returning to my lips. The only way I could touch him back was with a kiss, and I was desperate. “L-Levi!” I cried for him as he pulled back a little and he ran his fingers along my jaw.

“Tell me what you want.”

“Please let me loose. I n-need to touch you.” I whimpered at the last words and he frowned a little.

“One condition. You have to be good. You have to lay here and let me take care of you. Got it?”

“Yes! J-Just, please!” I banged the cuffs again and I felt them scrape against my wrist.

“Calm down, love. I’ll get you out.” In a matter of seconds the cuffs were thrown to the floor. “Fuck Eren…” His voice was concerned and I felt his hands wrap around my arms. “Your wrists are a mess…” I whimpered as I felt the air hit them, but I wasn’t thinking logically.

“P-Please.” I wiggled in his grasp, but he held me still. “LEVI! I NEED YOU!” I was begging him. Desperately trying to persuade him to touch me.

“Eren.” The stern use of my name send shivers down my spine, but I relaxed a bit and sank down against him. I heard a tearing sound and nearly jerked away from him, but he held me in place. “It’s okay. Stay still. He wrapped the piece of sheet around my wrist, before repeating it with the other side. “We need new ones anyway… now…” I fell back into the pillows, a sweating panting mess. Levi kissed me again, kissed my jaw, my neck, my collarbones. I held onto him, couldn’t help but hold him close and run my fingers through his hair as those grey eyes looked right at me. As he moved over my body, his piercings glimmered in the light, and I smiled. He was incredible. Everything I could every want.

He kissed and sucked down my chest, leaving little marks as he went and I couldn't help but shiver.

“L-Levi! Anggg.” He was palming me, and his other hand crept down to press on the plug. I screamed and arched up towards him. “P-Please!! Please fuck me! PLEASE!”

“If that’s what you want.” He smiled and kissed me again, before settling between my legs again. I felt him rubbing around the plug and then a gentle pull. I moaned and jerked forward, then back. The sensation was just too much. I felt the plug pop loose, then I felt the awful emptiness that lingered. I reach down for Levi, for that comforting touch.

“Please.” It was almost a whisper. Just barely loud enough for him to hear me.

“I know. Be patient.” I heard a bottle snap open and then he was pressing against me, right where I wanted him. Right where I absolutely needed him. I cried out as he filled me up, and the moan he let out sent shivers all the way down to my toes. I had to touch him. Needed to feel every bit of his skin. I reach for him and he gave me his hand. I used it to tug him down, right on top of me. Chest to chest, face to face, lips to lip. And kiss me he did. I moved my hips, telling him I was ready, and surprisingly he started to move. I craved this. I’d been teased and prepped enough. It didn’t hurt. I took everything he had to give, kisses, nips, the snapping of his hips as he pumped into me. His breath was ragged as he kissed, and he occasionally pulled away to catch it or to suck on my neck. I was holding onto him, like he was the only thing I had in this world. My arms were wrapped around him, nails clawing into his back as he brushed over that perfect bundle of nerves inside.

“Mhmm, fuck so good.” He shifted a bit and moved his arm, pushing my leg up. He was holding it up straight as he angled differently, but he was still pressed right up against me, and-

“OH, HA, HNNNG.” I knew my nails dug into his back. I also knew that I’d arched up off the bed so far and so hard that he’d nearly been knocked off of me.

“Fuck babe. That good?”

“Y-Yes!” He slammed back in and my hand went right to his hair, tugging it as my other hand held onto his shoulder for support. “YES YES YES.” I slammed my head back against the pillows and he kept rocking into me, right into my prostate. I couldn’t take it. I was overwhelmed. “Le-LEVI!” I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. My face was hot. My body was hot. Pleasure was rippling through me. He wouldn’t stop moving at that painfully perfect pace. Just enough to make me crazy and send jolts of pleasure through my whole body.

“I’ve got you.” He whispered it in my ear and at the same time, he reach between us and started stroking me, slow and hard. To match the rhythm of his thrusts. Slow. Everything was slow. And fast all at once. And we were kissing. And he was whispering to me. And looking into my eyes. Those beautiful eyes that looked like the moon. “Nice and easy, hmm?” His voice was heavy with lust and low as he growled right in my ear. I lost it right then.

I cried out his name, a cry that turned into a scream as I realeased between us during what had to be the slowest, most intense orgasm I’d ever had. Levi kept his painfully slow pace all the way through it, moaning and setting my skin on fire with just how sexy it all sounded. FUCK. I could feel my whole body squeezing around him. Finally, he let loose and with a final yell of my name, he released and collapsed on top of me.

“H-Holy shit.” I said in disbelief. He nodded and gave me a kiss before rolling off the bed. “LEVI! Where are you-“ He ran into the bathroom and returned with a first aid box and a damp cloth. He sank down into bed again and pressed his lips to mine. Then he gently took my hand into his. My whole body felt like jelly. He pulled the cloth off and I heard a sigh.

“I’m sorry. I’m throwing those things away. I didn’t mean-“

“It was my fault. I was moving too much. Maybe we can wrap my wrists next time?” He frowned a little and simply nodded as he took out a wipe from the box. My wrist stung for quite a few seconds, before the pain settled down. He rubbed ointment carefully over the scratches and irritated skin, before wrapping bandages around it. He repeated the action on the other wrist. Then, he carefully wiped me down, making me clean. I sure as hell couldn’t walk to the bathroom with my jelly legs. He simply tossed the washcloth into the pile of dirty clothes and set the first aid kit aside.

“Come here.” He pulled me right into his arms and I smiled, feeling extremely content. I could hear his heartbeat, the sound that always worked wonders to soothe me, and his fingers were combing through my hair, playing with soft curls. “I love you, Eren. Hope that relaxed you a little.”

“Love you too.” It was just a whisper. I was far too exhausted to say much more, besides a hum of approval and a nod against warm skin.

“I’m here if you need me, but try to only have sweet dreams tonight. Alright?” I felt him shift a little, only to pull the comforter up over us and tuck it around my shoulders. Another nod and sleep took me, in the safe arms of my lover.

 

_Warmth. Warmth and sunlight shining through a window. Just a few rays peeking through the curtains. It wasn’t the sun that was making me warm… No, it was a person. I was in a bed. A luxurious bed. Clean and tidy, aside from the few blankets we’d moved during the night._

_The muscles were stronger. The arms a little larger. But the heartbeat was the same. The scent. That same natural scent. Of course it was the same. It was Levi. We were lying together in bed, in the early morning. Our bare bodies pressed right up against each other, limbs tangled loosely together._

_“We’ll miss breakfast…” He muttered as he glanced up at the sun shining through the window._

_“I don’t care.” I tucked my face back against his neck and smile. My heart felt light. It felt happy. I knew we’d spent the whole night together making love and whispering our hearts secrets to each other, and I was content with just being here with him._

_“Spoiled brat.” He teased me, but he brought the heavy blanket up over my shoulders, burying a kiss in my hair. “But I love you just the same. I guess we can always go down and catch a late lunch.” He chuckled and I stretched a bit, before settling back down into the warmth of the strong arms that I loved._

 


	64. Chapter 64

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta has been pretty busy lately, so this chapter isn't edited. Sorry for any mistakes. 
> 
> Also, my next chapter may take a little longer than usual. I'm in the process of working on my senior show in all of my spare time, but I will try to update ASAP!!! :3
> 
> Comment as always lovelies!

Eren’s POV

“Sleepy head.” I groaned as the covers were pulled back from my shoulders. A light kiss was placed to my neck, then to my collar bones, then up to my shoulder. “Get up. We have a skype date, remember?” Levi’s voice was soft and breathy, almost urging me to go back to sleep, rather than wake up and get dressed.

“Do I have to get dressed?” I opened one eye to stare at the raven hovering beside me. He was grinning as he leaned down to whisper in my ear.

“Unless you want all of our friends to see us naked, then I suggest so.” He ruffled my hair and I sighed as I followed him into the bathroom. After a quick shower, we got dressed. Levi was dressed to kill. He had on his black skinny jeans, a black button up that the sleeves were rolled to his elbow, and had his key dangling perfectly around his neck. Right where it should be. His eyeliner was done perfectly, a little thicker than usual, but sharply outlining his stunning grey eyes. I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his waist and he leaned his head against my shoulder.

“So, does this mean we are going someplace fancy?” I questioned. He just chuckled and ran his fingers through my damp hair.

“No, it means I’ve got plans for us, but they are a surprise. Just wear what you like.” I slipped on a pair of jeans and my Noragami t-shirt, before following Levi into the living room. We had juice and fruit for breakfast, along with toast and jam. After we put the dishes away, he played with the boxes on the counter.

“Levi…” He frowned a little and tapped on the box. “Do you want to wear them? You haven’t taken them out since we picked them up.” He swallowed hard and held his breath for a minute. I pressed myself up against his back and nuzzled my cheek into his hair. He smelled so nice, his hair was always so soft.

“Will…will you?” He reach me the boxes and I nodded. I opened the big box first, taking out the silver bracelet. The words hope and strength were shining in the brilliant metal and I smiled at him as I slipped it onto his wrist. I set the first box aside and popped open the second box, revealing the tiny ring inside with the perfect little stones set in place. A small smile twisted at the corner of Levi’s lips and I took his hand in mine.

“It’s fine to smile you know. It’s a beautiful ring.” His smile grew wider and he gave a small nod. After I set the box aside I cupped his cheek in my hand and brought our lips together. A tender kiss to tell him just how much I cared for him. A kiss that started out tender, but deepened until we were both breathless. A kiss that was so similar to our love. Simple and timid at first, and then we were both falling for each other hard and fast until we crashed together.

“Levi, I know you already did this, but I’d like to say my bit too.” I stared right into his eyes as I said it, vibrant grey, so full of life now. Shining with energy and passion. He smiled before he took my hand in his own. “You are my life now, the one that saved me from so much. I’m so thankful for you and everything you’ve done for me. And you better believe that I’m excited to start this new chapter in our lives together.” He smiled, one of those rare wide smiles of his and my heart leapt. I couldn’t help but get lost in it for a moment, but I tried to regain my thoughts. “I can’t wait to wake up to you every day and call you my husband. I will stick by your side through thick and thin. I will always love you.” I beamed at him as I said the last part and slipped the ring onto his finger. He shook his head and his arms were around my neck in a matter of seconds.

“I love you, too.” I rubbed his back, pressing kisses into his neck as I whispered sweet words against his collar. I heard a sniffle and he pulled back to dap at his eyes.

“Don’t cry, babe. Your eyeliner will run.” He laughed and stuck his tongue out at me before grabbing a tissue to blot his eyes with. With his eyeliner fixed, we both sat down in front of the laptop and logged onto skype. It was Armin’s idea actually, to do a group call. He had called Levi a couple of days ago to check on me and Levi confessed about my vivid nightmares. Armin suggested getting everyone together to ease my mind and I couldn’t help but agree. Seeing everyone would make me feel at ease.

“Come here.” Levi pulled me into his lap, right in between his legs and I sank down into the warmth. His arms wrapped around me, before he repositioned the laptop. “Better?” I nodded and rested my head back against his chest. About that time, Isabel’s icon turned green and she sent us an IM.

**Ready?!**

The call started and blonde hair was blocking the whole screen. I squinted, then Armin stepped back, revealing everyone sitting around the table at Anteiku. Our table. My heart ached to be there with them, but I was so happy to be here with Levi. Experiencing the things that we were.

“Hey Eren!” Armin waved and I waved back. Hopefully, they couldn’t see me clawing for Levi’s hand. I couldn’t let them see how relieved I was.

“Hey!” I felt my chin wobble, and then Levi kissed the top of my head. Armin plopped down next to Erwin and Jean and I squeezed Levi’s hand.

“Eren.” He muttered it in my ear and I nodded. “Take a nice deep breath.” I did just that. “In. And out. And another.” It was a bit shaky, but I managed. “See, they are fine. Armin and Jean are as happy and dorky as ever.” I laughed a bit and his free arm hugged me a little tighter against him. “Or should I say horsey?” He mumbled in my ear again.

“Levi!” I snorted and shook my head.

“OH LOOK AT MY BABIES!!!” Isabel waddled into the picture and sat down next to Mikasa and Hanji. “So cute and cuddled up together! AWWWW!”

“Isabel.” Levi rolled his eyes and she just grinned.

“Aniki and Eren, sitting in a tree!” She sung. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!” Levi flipped off the camera with his free hand and everyone’s mouth’s dropped open.

“LEVI!” Hanji squealed. “Is that a ring?! You NEVER wear rings!!!”

“Fuck.” Levi’s eyes went wide and so did mine. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and I laughed nervously.

“EREN!” Mikasa growled and my stomach lurched. SHIT SHIT SHIT.

“OKAY! We-We MAY have gotten engaged! A-And-UGH. I looked to Levi for some help and he was just looking at me dumbfounded.

“WHAT!?!?!” The collective voices from the room echoes through the computer and Mikasa lept up.

“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!!!”

“We were waiting for the right time!!!”

“SO!” Isabel clapped her hands together. “How did it happen? Did you get down on one knee in front of the Eiffel Tower, Eren?!” She beamed at the camera and I shook my head.

“Levi asked me actually. At the Sacre Coeur. It was beautiful.”

“SO SWEET!!! I bet he blushed! Did he blush?!” I just smiled at that and looked over to Levi, who was flipping the camera off again.

“So why do you BOTH have rings?!” Mikasa was practically tugging on her hair. “Did you get hitched there too?”

“No! NO!” I showed my ring and reach for Levi’s hand. “I’m keeping this one and he had this made while we were here. But it will be his band as well, so.” I shrugged. “A little out of the ordinary, but who said we were ever normal.”

“You two normal?!” Farlan laughed as he popped into the picture, setting down a glass of ice water in front of Isabel. “Congratulations, though!”

“Yes! Congratulations!”

“Thanks!” I leaned over and moved to kiss Levi on the cheek, but he just smirked and dodged at the last minute, catching me in a quick kiss. Cat calls and whoops were coming from the computer and I felt the blush creep up my cheeks.

“Well, I’ve got to head to work.” Erwin said as he checked his watch. “Have a good day you two!” We waved at Erwin and he smiled at us.

“Actually, I think we will head out also.” Levi said with a nod. “I’ve got a hot date with a certain brunette.” He smiled over at me and I chuckled.

“Have fun big bro! You too Eren!” Everyone waved and we said our goodbyes before signing off.

 

“So, that was…unexpected.” Levi hugged me, before we stood up to walk to the door.

“You were the one that flipped off the camera!” I laughed and he gave my ass a little slap.

“For YOUR information, Jaeger. We used to kiss in trees all the time.” Levi teased me as he slipped on his boots. “First comes love, then comes marriage-“ He walked out of the door and I trailed behind him.

“LEVI!!!”

We arrived at the Louvre just a short walk later. It was really crowded and I couldn’t help but stick right against Levi’s side as we maneuvered through the hordes of people. We managed a few photos at the glass pyramid and made our way inside. I felt that familiar feeling looming over me, however.

“L-Levi…” I reach for him just as someone bumped into me and broke us apart. I couldn’t get a hold of his hand. I lost sight of his face and I froze. Completely froze in the insane crowd. Everyone was swarming around me. Constricting. Closing. I felt my knees giving in and then-

“Eren! That asshole should watch where he’s going! Tch. Are you alright?” Warm arms. One around my waist and one locked onto my hand. Levi. I tried to take a deep breath, but I was drowning. Drowning in fear. In uncertainty. In panic. I couldn’t breathe. I clawed at my throat and Levi’s eyes went wide. “Shit. SHIT! Eren. Listen. Take a deep breath.” My knees gave and I tried to hold onto him. There were WAY too many people. Any they were all staring. Fucking watching me shatter.  


“T-They…They’re….” Levi pulled me up and even though I was pretty much dead weight, I felt myself moving. Before I knew it, we were in a corner. A secluded corner in…where were we?!

“Shhh. Focus on breathing! Eren. Look at me!” Levi forced me to look at him and I gasped. Tears were burning my face. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t. I ruined everything. EVERYTHING. I brought my nails up to my arm and dug them in, scratching across the skin. “EREN!” Levi caught my hand and with another gasp he pulled me into a constricting hug. His lips were right next to my ear, soothing words in his calming tone whispering to me. Another gasp and his hand was rubbing against my back as the other ran through my hair, swiping through the longer strands in between my bandana headband. “You’re safe. I’ll ALWAYS protect you.” I sobbed against him and nodded. “Take a breath for me, love.” I gasped, but managed somehow to take a short shaky breath, and exhaled it just as shakily. I followed with another and Levi sighed in relief. “Fuck. It’s alright. I’m here.”

“L-Lee.”

“I know. Just deep breaths, okay?” I nodded and focused on breathing, instead of how bad I’d fucked our date up. His fingers still combed through my hair and I felt myself starting to relax in his arms, even though we were piled on the floor.

“S-Sorry. I’m so sorry.” I pulled back and wiped my tears away with his thumb. He shook his head as he spoke.

“Don’t be.” I should have looked ahead and planned this. Today is busy as hell and-“

“You…you…” I frowned and shook my head. “I’m sorry I can’t be…normal.” I choked on the last word and Levi frowned.

“Don’t EVER apologize for being yourself, Eren.” He said it sternly and I nodded. “I fell in love with YOU. All of you.” He leaned his forehead against mine and I let out a broken cry. “And we will work through that together, alright?” I nodded again and he gently pulled me to my feet. We found a bathroom where he helped me wash my face and get myself together.

“Now, do you think you can do this?” I looked at the crowds of people and bit my lip.

“I-I don’t know.” He wrapped his hand around mine and tugged me right up against his side. “That’s a lot better.” I felt my anxiety ease and he kissed my cheek as we took a few steps forward into the crowd. A few people bumped into us, but we failed to get separated. Levi clung right to me. We wondered through the museum, enjoying the beautiful paintings. Wall to wall, ceiling to ceiling of artwork. Then, we came to the room that everyone flocked to. The room that housed the Mona Lisa.

I frowned as I looked at the massive amounts of people. Levi rubbed my back as we stood by the door. I wanted to see it so bad. It was every artist’s dream, and I hated that my anxiety was holding me back.

“We-We can do this!” I tugged on Levi’s hand and stumbled forward into the crowd. We charged up to the painting and I was immediately overwhelmed. We did it. We did it. WOW. I felt Levi’s hand squeeze mine and he was smiling at me. I felt my stomach churning as people began looking at me angrily, wanting their chance to stare at it. I nodded and felt Levi tug on my hand. He pulled me through the group of people, leading me out into the hallway, where at least there was room to breathe.

“PHEW!” I smiled and Levi was smirking.

“I knew you could do it.” I hugged him tight and my phone started to ring.

“It’s Armin. Hello?”

“E-Eren. Listen. You need to stay calm. We were just in a car accident. But Mikasa just got hurt. They told me to call you since you were next of kin. Erwin got scratched up pretty bad, they aren’t sure if he has any broken bones or not.”

“WHAT?” My hands started to shake and Levi pulled me close. I put the phone on speaker and Levi took it from me.

“They were both sitting on the left side of the car. It all happened so fast and-“ Armin’s voice broke. “She’s unconscious right now. They just told me to tell you, but I don’t know much more, since I’m not family.”

“Just stay calm, Armin.” Levi stressed, rubbing little circles in my shoulder as he did. “Everything will be okay. Have you called anyone else?”

“N-No.”

“Where are you?”

“At the hospital. They are looking at my scratches. I’m not that bad though. Just a few scrapes and a little sore.”

“Call Jean. Have him meet you. You need someone there.”

“O-Okay.”

“Keep us updated, alright?”

“Sure thing!”

“I love you Armin!” I blurted it out as I clung to Levi, my voice shaky.

“Love you too, Eren. Bye.” The land went dead and I hugged Levi. I wanted to break down, wanted to break apart, but that wouldn’t help anything. He slipped my phone into my pocket and brushed my bangs out of my face.

“I-I need….need to go…can we go home?” He simply nodded and I let out a relieved sigh. “I’ve got to go to them, Levi.”

“I know. It’s fine. We’ll call a cab and pack everything. It’s gonna be okay.” I felt a weight on my shoulders, a huge burden sitting there and it was crushing me. “Come on, love.” He tugged me through the crowds of people, out to the sidewalk where we managed to catch a cab to the apartment. We hurriedly packed, leaving anything that wasn’t necessary. After we dropped the bike off at the rental place, we took a cab to the airport and managed to catch the last minute flight Levi had booked at the apartment. 2 hours. We’d accomplished packing and getting out of Paris in 2 hours.

As we were sitting on the plane, I sent a simple text to Armin.

**To Armin: We will be there soon. The flight is long, but I’ll see you guys in a few hours.**

I put my phone in airplane mode and sighed as we lurched into the air. I was overwhelmed. Completely overwhelmed. Not to mention I knew Levi had paid out the ass for last minute tickets on this flight.

“Eren, relax. Stretch out a little.” He pointed to the seat and I nodded. “These actually lay flat.” I situated myself and did stretch out. Levi did the same and we snuggled up under the throw as usual, even if there was an armrest in the way.

“Levi…”

“Hmm?” I was leaning against the armrest as he played with my hair, running his fingers through until he stopped at the nape of my neck.

“I’m worried about them.” I felt myself breaking and I was just so tired.

“I know, Eren. I am too.” He frowned as he continued to work his slender fingers through my hair. “We just have to stay positive for now though.” I nodded and leaned into his touch. A few tears slipped out, but I was trying to retain my composure. “Your friends are tough, Eren.” Another nod and he was leaning over to bring our lips together.

”Sirs, would you-OH! Umm, excuse me!” The flight attendant blushed as we simply broke apart and looked at her. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Just water for me.” Levi said as he pointed to the bottle of water.

“Same for me.” I sipped a little on my water and Levi reach over to pull the blinds down on the window. Levi’s fingers laced back through mine and we settled down as he pulled out his ipod and put on some soothing piano music. I wanted to be closer, to just curl up in his arms and wish this all away, but I was stuck in my own seat, secluded save for his arms that had snaked uncomfortably over the armrest.

“Levi, if it’s uncomfortable…” I watched him blink at me and shake his head as we looked at each other, settling down against our complimentary pillows. I reach my own arm a little closer, and he brought it right under his chin after he kissed it. His other hand was still softly brushing through my hair, making my eyes flutter closed with each touch.

“Go ahead and rest, Eren. It’s going to be a long flight.” I hummed in agreement and before I knew it, I fell into a restless sleep, slumped over the armrest next to Levi.

 

 

We arrived at the airport a little late, thanks to turbulence. The in-flight meals were surprisingly good, though, but we weren’t worried about that now as we hurried to find a rental. Levi tossed everything in the back and we were speeding off towards the hospital.

“No one’s picking up!” I growled and tossed my phone on the dash. We pulled into the hospital and Levi ran after me as I jogged up to the check in.

“Ackerman? Mikasa Ackerman?” The receptionist shook her head as she clicked her mouse.

“Nope. No Mikasa Ackerman. Another name perhaps?”

“Ugh, Erwin Smith? They were in a car wreck.”

“No. Neither of them are here. They were probably released.”

“But Armin said-“ My phone started ringing in Levi’s hand and he finally caught up with me.

“Eren, it’s Armin!”

“HELLO?! ARMIN WHERE ARE YOU?!” I practically screamed it into the phone and he let out a nervous laugh.

“We are all at Erwin’s! Heh…I was…we were a bit busy when you called…sorry!”

“SERIOUSLY ARMIN?!” My mouth dropped open and I grabbed Levi by the wrist and stormed out of the hospital. After the waves of embarrassment passed, we ended up at Erwin’s and after pounding on the door a few times, Armin finally answered.

“Eren-“

“NO.”

“Eren, I’m sorry-“

“NO. Where’s Mikasa.”

“Eren, let’s just talk!” Armin’s face was blushed.

“Armin, I was fucking worried sick about you guys, and you…You obviously were doing JUST fine!” I shook my head and pushed passed Armin. Mikasa was laying on the couch, waking up from her nap. Erwin was walking, well more of a hobble, into the living room. He frowned at us and I sat down next to Mikasa. Her forehead was a little scratched up, and her wrist was wrapped in an ace bandage.

“I was so worried.” I wrapped my arms around her and couldn’t hold back anymore. My tears spilled onto her oversized shirt. She rubbed my back and kissed my cheek.

“I’m fine, Eren. You guys didn’t need to rush home. It’s just a sprained wrist and a concussion.” I wiped my tired eyes and I felt a weight beside me.

“I’m really sorry, Eren…” I looked over to Armin and sighed.

“I guess I can’t stay mad. I’m just so tired and…fuck… I’m sorry too.” We hugged and I looked him over. A little scratched up, but not so bad. Erwin finally made it to a chair and fell into it, stretching out with a sigh.

“How are you holding up?” Levi asked Erwin as he leaned against the side of his chair.

“Ugh, fractured a bone in my ankle. My leg is pretty torn up, but I’ll be alright.” He shrugged. “I’m pretty decent with crutches so. Erwin had obviously taken the brunt of the hit.

“I can’t believe you screamed at that guy like that…” Armin said with a frown.

“Erwin screamed?” Levi raised his eyebrow and Armin nodded.

“I was pissed. The bastard ran a red light and hit us. He hurt everyone.” Erwin balled his fist up and Armin ran over to pat his hand.

“He got out of the car! With a broken leg and screamed at the guy! I thought he was going to beat him to death…” Armin’s eyes were wide as he rubbed his hand.

“But now I’m laid up, because of one idiot.”

“I’ll take care of you!” Armin smiled brightly and kissed his cheek.

“At least you’ve got an adorable nurse.” Levi shrugged and Erwin chuckled.

“True.” I looked back to Mikasa and she was nuzzling my shoulder, dozing off.

“They gave her some medicine to dull the pain in her wrist. She’s been in and out the last few hours.” Armin said as he looked over at us. I nodded and tilted her back against the couch.

“Er-Ren.”

“Get some sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” She grunted in approval and pulled the blanket up to her chin. I stood up and walked back over to Levi, who put a gentle arm around me.

“I think we will head home. It’s late.” Levi said softly. “This one’s exhausted.” He tilted his head towards me as I leaned against his side. “We’ll be back by tomorrow to pick up Kirara and her things. Thanks guys.” I gave them a little wave, finally giving in to the exhaustion by the time I was in the passenger seat. I had dozed off before we’d arrived home, only the car door shutting awaking me.

“Eren.” I took his hand and he pulled me up out of my seat and shut the door, locking the car behind us. I held onto him as he unlocked the apartment and a feeling of peace overtook me as we walked into the house. Home. We were home. Bookshelves of manga, the counter where Levi made my breakfast every day, the paint stained living room floor. “Shoes off.” I kicked them off and followed Levi up the familiar stairs to the bedroom. To the perfectly made bed that waited for us. He pulled out our medications and after we took them and quickly got ready for bed, not bothering with pajamas, we jumped under the covers in our underwear just pulling each other close.

“What a day.” I sighed and Levi kissed my forehead.

“I agree.” His voice was low and calming, soothing on so many levels after the hectic day filled with panic.

“At least they are pretty much alright, though.” He nodded and kissed my bare shoulder, making my eyelids flutter shut. Fuck.

“Time to stop thinking and relax.”

“Okay.” The moonlight pouring through the window served as my nightlight, and Levi holding me eased me into a peaceful rest.

“I love you.” I felt his words vibrate through his chest as he whispered them to me, into the room filled with moonlight and our soft breaths, but I was too exhausted to reply. All I managed was a light hum as I snuggled closer to his chest, nuzzling my face right up against him. “Sweet dreams, Eren.”


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The babies are home <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A HUGE thanks to my beta Erwin!!! THANK YOUUUUU
> 
> Also, you may have noticed there is only one more chapter to go!!!  
> *cries*  
> BUT I do plan on continuing LCSU later on with a sequel! AND I have been working on a totally new fic. I plan on posting the first chapter the day I post the last chapter of LCSU, so give it a try! 
> 
> THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! Nearly 24,000 hits. WOW I'm amazed!
> 
> The song is RIP Foghorn by the Amity Affliction

A few days later

“Eren. Ereeen.” Something was brushing against my face. Barely there. Wisps of a touch.

“Hmmm?” Brushing through my hair now, combing through the curls. Massaging my scalp.

“Eren, wake up. We’ve got a busy day today.” A kiss, right against my forehead. His fingers were still in my hair, gently nudging me awake. My eyes opened and Levi was hovering over me, a sleepy smile across his features.

“Mmm, good morning.” He kissed my forehead again and fell into place at my side, and arm across my chest.

“Good morning. Sleep well?” I nodded, no memories of nightmares springing to life.

“Yeah. You?” he simply nodded and motioned for me to get out of bed.

“Sorry, I let you sleep a little longer, so we need to get moving.” I rolled out of bed and threw on some jeans and a t-shirt. No sense in dressing up today. His arms were around my waist as I looked at the picture of Mom on the dresser.

“I’ll be here for you, okay?” He was flush against my back, and I could feel his warm breath on my neck.

“Thank you, Levi.” A kiss to my shoulder and another against my neck. He was drawing back, and I watched him throw on his own clothes, before we finished up with our morning routine and headed out to the waiting car in the driveway. Armin and Mikasa were in the car, Armin behind the wheel.

“You got your license?” He beamed at me and pulled it out of his wallet to show me. “Nice.” We hopped in the car and I braced for the short ride to the house.

“I’ve got plenty of boxes.” Mikasa was looking out of the window as she spoke to us.

“Okay.” I nodded and felt Levi’s fingers thread through mine. Levi was the rock I could lean on. Always there, supporting and caring. We pulled into the driveway and I shivered. I never thought I’d return to this house. Mikasa unlocked the door and I grabbed Levi’s hand as we walked inside. There were still holes in the wall, but the mess had been cleaned up.

“I’ve got someone coming to repair the wall. So I guess we can start in our bedrooms first?”

“Sure.” I ascended the stairs along with Levi and I walked into the familiar room. The drawers of my dresser were pulled open, empty of my clothes. I frowned as I walked towards my bed, frowning at the empty feeling. This house used to be so warm. So safe. I shook my head and I felt a hand on my arm. Levi gave me a warm smile and started taping up a box. I packed everything that was left behind. A few stray articles of clothing. My posters. I emptied my desk drawers, finding only a few pens that were left behind and some paper. It didn’t take long to empty my room. Levi carried the boxes downstairs, careful to mark everything.

We started on Dad’s room next. I didn’t even want to be inside of his room, but we had to help Mikasa. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be anywhere near this house. She started boxing up clothes, marking donate on the boxes as she went. I opened up the top drawer of the dresser to find it filled with familiar clothes, clothes that I had almost forgotten about.

“Fuck.” I felt tears stinging my eyes as I picked up the apron. This was filled with Mom’s things. Her apron, her clothes. He kept it. He kept so much… Levi’s arms were around me, nuzzling my neck with his face as I dug through the drawer. I wiped the tears off of my cheeks, unaware when I’d even started crying. “Mom’s…” I packed the box, treating her clothes like fragile objects. There was a jewelry box buried at the bottom of the drawer. I opened it to find a few recognizable pieces. The blue topaz necklace in my hands felt heavy. Heavy with memories and so precious. I closed the box and handed it to Mikasa. “Take what you want…I just want the blue necklace.” She frowned at me and shook her head.

“Eren, this is yours. She was your mother.”

“She was yours too!” I wiped my face again and Levi pulled me into a hug, right up against him.

“I’ll just take a couple pieces.” I nodded into his shoulder and felt his fingers rubbing circles on my back. I couldn’t do this. It hurt too badly. But who was I if I gave up? A quitter.

Eventually, after packing up the box carefully with Levi’s support, he labeled it and carried it to the living room to place it with the other boxes that were going with us. I sat on the edge of Dad’s bed and sighed into my hands, rubbing my face roughly until Levi walked through the door.

“Here.” He held out a sports drink for me, cap in his hand. I swallowed hard and took the drink, taking a few big gulps. “I don’t want you getting dehydrated.” After he sat down next to me on the edge of the bed, I leaned my head against his shoulder. He swept his fingers through my hair, soothing me more than he’d ever know. I felt him kiss the top of my head, before he urged me to drink a little more. How much had I cried already? I felt weak, drained. Halfway through the bottle, he was gently pulling me to my feet. Mikasa was packing the kitchen now, leaving anything that was unnecessary. We walked through the foyer to get to the living room and I shivered and folded into Levi’s side. Armin was patching up the hole in the wall, scraping spackling over the top of some kind of mesh.

Levi just proceeded to use his hand around my waist to ease me forward a little quicker. Fuck. All the family photos, happy faces long forgotten were staring at us. Mom. With her beautiful smile and stunning eyes. I felt my eyes stinging again as I became overwhelmed. Levi was going to think I was a complete crybaby. My legs felt weak as I just let the tears flow. I missed her so bad. I missed her soft voice, her smile. I missed her cooking and I missed every holiday spent with her. I even missed Dad. Not the father that had come to be after Mom had passed away, but the father he used to be. I missed sitting in front of the TV with both of them, with Mikasa, piled so close together. I missed the bowls of popcorn we’d only eat half of and end up tossing at each other teasingly. Everything was slamming into me at once and I sank to my knees. A sob ripped through me and I felt warmth surround me. Levi’s arms were pulling me right against him.

He was sitting on the floor, and he ever so gently pulled me into his lap. We were collapsed into a pile of limbs on the floor, and I was grabbing at his shirt, holding it tight. I heard footsteps behind us and Armin’s panicked voice echoed behind me.

“Eren, what’s wrong?! What-“ I felt Levi shift a little, probably holding up his hand to silently calm Armin.

“Shhhh, it’s gonna be alright. I’m here. Armin’s here. Mikasa is right in the kitchen, but she’s here for you too.” Levi’s chest was vibrating under my cheek as he spoke softly, and all I could manage to do was nod, before my sobs took me again. I felt a weight behind me, and another arm found its way around me, the other hand rubbing my back. Armin.

“Ar- Armin.”

“I’m here, Eren. I know this is so hard, but you are doing great. You can get through this. We are all here for you.” I hiccupped against Levi and he buried a kiss in my hair, before resting his chin right on top. I was safe. Here in the house that I’d come to loathe, I was finally able to walk in without being abused. With no harsh words, no pain. Sure there were tears, but after they dry and we finish packing, after this house is sold and done with, maybe I can completely heal. Maybe my fond memories will return and actually be stronger than the awful ones. I felt my chest get tight and I gasped, clawing at Levi’s shirt.

“Eren, take a deep breath. Listen to me, you are going to overcome this. In and out.” I focused all my energy into following Levi’s orders. With a shaky breath, I managed to fill my lungs. He nuzzled my hair, urging me to take another slow breath. I did and breathed in Levi’s scent. So close and so sweet. He was all mine. “That’s it. Another.” I breathed a little deeper, his cologne drifting around me, mixing our scents together. A perfect smell that wrapped around me. I was breathing heavily now, wiping at my face. I felt a tissue wipe at my face gently, Levi cleaning my face. “You did it. You got through it.” I nodded and hugged him tighter, keeping him close.

We sat there for a few minutes and I tried to picture good memories. Not only of Mom, Dad and Mikasa, but all of our friends, of me and Levi. I let out a scratchy laugh, voice hoarse from crying and Levi raised an eyebrow at me.

“T-The pink suitcase. Remember when we smuggled it out?” Levi chuckled under me and grinned.

“How could I forget? You’ve still got that fucking hot pink suitcase. We really need to get you a new one.” I smiled against him and relished in his affectionate treatment. His fingers were combing through my hair, massaging the back of my neck, my shoulders. A few more calming minutes curled against each other and I was finally climbing to my feet. I grabbed an empty box and began packing pictures carefully, wrapping them in newspaper so they wouldn’t get broken.

I wrapped pictures of us from long ago, all the way up until just before Mom passed away. Levi’s arm only left my waist for seconds at a time, only to grab some more newspaper or another box. Armin went back to finishing his patch in the wall and I focused on my job, getting the walls cleared off. I packed a few nick knacks, Mikasa saying that she would take them, and afterwards I sat on the couch with Levi. The living room was bare, only the furniture and a couple of throw pillows left. He leaned his head against mine and I couldn’t help but smile. We had gotten through this.

 

 

A few days later

It was early, and we left the house just as the sun was rising, beautiful streaks of purples and red painted across the sky. Levi was behind the wheel of the rental car, and we drove in the direction we had chosen last night. We had a good three hour drive before we arrived in the city we were headed to, but we had a couple stops to make first.

“Good morning!” We were greeted in the flower shop and I got the same bouquet of white lilies for my Mom that I had last time. Levi got irises, in a different shade this time and I looked over the flowers, trying to decide if we should get a third bouquet or not. Levi pressed his lips to my cheek and I smiled, his knowing eyes looking over the flowers.

“You can if you want to.” I nodded and selected white carnations. We paid for the flowers and carefully tucked them into the back seat as we drove to the cemetery in silence. We got there just as the gate opened, and we gathered our flowers, before lacing our fingers together. We walked to the far side of the cemetery to visit Levi’s Nana first. He put the flowers in her vase, before taking a step back and swallowing hard. He gripped my hand, closing his eyes for a moment as he searched for the right words to say.

“Nana…you remember Eren?” He sighed and shook his head. “No…that’s not right…ugh…” I pulled him a little closer, and he eased into my embrace. “I’ll just go for it. We are getting married, Nana. I found someone to love, someone who loves me back with all his heart. I’m so happy to have him. We are going to get married in Paris. Right in front of the Sacre Coeur. It’s just a few weeks away now.” Levi smiled at me fondly, wiping a few stray tears from his eyes. “A-And I wish you could be there, but I guess things don’t always go as planned.” He fell silent for a second, breathing heavy. “But you will be there in spirit. I know you are always watching over us. So…I just wanted to tell you that. And to tell you how much-“ He wiped at his eyes and I set the flowers aside, pulling him into a hug. His nead nuzzled into my neck and buried my chin against the raven locks. “How much I miss you. A-And love you.” He whispered it against my neck as I rubbed his back.

“She loves you too Levi. And I’m sure she would be so happy about us getting married.” He nodded and pulled a tissue out of his pocket, before he dried his eyes. He said goodbye, before I picked up the flowers and wrapped my arm around his waist, pulling him right up against my side as we walked to the other side of the cemetery.

I took a deep breath as we neared the headstones. I could do this. Levi was here. He was my strength. Everything that kept me together and pushing forward. We arrived and I looked over the stones in front of us, one a little more weathered than the other.

I sat down on the ground, right between the two stones and Levi sat beside me, holding my hand tight.

“Hey…ugh…I guess I can just talk to both of you.” I pondered over my words and sighed. “Mom, Levi and I are getting married. So…I figured you’d want to know." I leaned forward and placed the lilies in the holder on the stone. "And…well I guess maybe if things were different…maybe you’d be happy about it, too Dad.” I frowned as I looked over the new granite, finally letting my tears come. A silent cry a first, that twisted into a sob. “I fucking miss you both. I know you loved each other. And I know you loved me. So…if things were different, maybe…maybe we could have all gotten along. I know I would have met Levi either way, we were destined to be together in this life a-and-“ Another sob shook through me, right to my core and I leaned against Levi, using his strength that I couldn’t pull from myself. “And I can’t imagine losing the one you l-love. I know you could have dealt with it differently Dad, but… I see why you were so devastated. So…All I can do is hang on to the memories of us together, before everything went to shit. I…I love you both.”

I closed my eyes and felt the tears leaking out on their own, but slowly they stopped. Closure. This is what I needed. I needed time to sit and think about what had happened. Starting from the time we stepped back in the house, I was submersed into my own mind, thinking over the events that took place over the last couple of years. I’d come to terms with it and dealt with my worries. With my anger, with my grief. This was the last step. Who knew when the next time would be to visit. We’d be leaving for Japan pretty much as soon as we were married. I wiped my tears away one last time, before placing the carnations in his urn.

“I love you guys. I guess this is goodbye for now…” I stood, shaky from my episode of crying, but Levi’s arms were steady around me, slowly walking me down the path to the parking lot. We slipped inside the car and Levi drove the short distance to Anteiku.

“Eren!! Levi!!! My cute babies are back!!” Isabel grinned at us and I smiled, before I took her into a hug, her baby bump squeezing in between us.

“Look! Look!!!” She beamed at me, before she grabbed my hand and placed it on her belly. “Come on Levi! You too!!” He carefully put his fingertips on her belly and we immediately looked at each other as we felt it. A tiny kick. “AGHHHH!!! Did you feel her?!” I nodded excitedly and Levi smiled, before hugging her himself.

“We are so happy for you, Izzy.”

“Thank you Aniki. I’m happy for you two as well. We are going to miss you when you leave.” She frowned and tears sprung to her eyes. “NOOO. Don’t leave.” Farlan walked over from the other side of the shop to hug her from behind.

“Shhh. Calm down. Lilly doesn’t like for you to cry, remember?” She nodded, before wiping at her tears.

“Besides,” Levi said with a soft smile. “We all get to enjoy Paris for a few days before we leave.”

“I’m gonna be fat in all of your pictures!”

“You aren’t fat. You are pregnant.” She worried at her bottom lip, before agreeing.

“I guess you can photoshop me skinny later, right?” Levi rolled his eyes and I just chuckled. We heard the bell ring and turned to see Mikasa and Jean walking in together.

“Eren!” Jean ran up and gave me a hug. “It’s been a while!” I nodded and took Levi’s hand in mine, enjoying the warmth. Farlan went to make our drinks as we talked to the three.

“How’s it going, Jean?” He grinned at me and fished something out of his pocket. He held it in front of me and I realized it was a key.

“A key?” I raised my eyebrow and he nodded happily.

“Marco asked me to move in with him! I’m still in the whole packing process, but by the end of the week we should be together.”

“That’s great, Jean.” He had a slight blush on his cheeks and nodded.

“I’m really happy about it.”

“One large French vanilla latte, a medium caramel frap and two bagels.” I took my chilly drink, and Levi took his warm cup, before looking at his phone.

“We need to head out Eren. I want to make it there in time.”

“We’ve got plenty of time, Levi.” I rolled my eyes and he tugged me towards the door.

“Come on, brat.”

“We’ll see you guys later!!” We both waved and made our way to the car again. Levi started it up and we began to drive. I couldn’t help but doze off in the warm car, with Levi’s hand on my thigh. I was sleepy from worrying about the visit all night, and he just let me sleep.

 

 

“Wake up, babe.” I blinked my heavy eyes as I looked around. “We’re here.” I stretched, before climbing out of the car. We had a day of planning ahead, and I was excited. First, we both got haircuts, Levi’s hair was now long enough for his classic trim and undercut. He looked great, so great I didn’t want to take my eyes off of him. I timidly took my seat in the chair and the hairdresser took off my bandana.

“How bad is it?” I frowned and looked to Levi, who just shrugged.

“All I can really see is the scar. The hair has grown back. It’s a little shorter than the rest.” I nodded and tried to look at it in the mirror.

“Alright, sweety.” She started running the wet comb through my hair, trying to tame my wild hair. “Do you want me to just layer it? Cut it down to the shortest part? Or do you want me to just cut it all short?” I frowned at looked at my hair. I kinda liked it long…

“I guess just later it?” She nodded and began snipping away.

“What about that blond in the front?” I looked up to my forehead and blinked. We hadn’t gotten to dye my bangs in a while, so they were looking rough.

“Ugh, can you touch up the roots and put blue back in?”

“Absolutely!” I sat patiently as she snipped away at my hair. After a rinse and a blow dry, my head was feeling lighter. She applied the color, and we went through the whole rinse and blow dry again. I watched happily as she spun me around to reveal my new hair. It was still long, but nicely trimmed now. She had layered the shorter chunk in, so it disappeared.

“It looks great!!!!” I bounced up from the chair to look at it. After at least 10 more thank yous, Levi paid and we walked down the block to the shop that sold tuxes and suits. I frowned as we walked in and started looking around. Levi took my hand in his and raised an eyebrow.

“You aren’t getting cold feet on me are you?” My eyes went wide and I was shaking my head, trying to find the right words.

“NO! Of course not!!” He chuckled and smirked at me. “I just…I don’t really like suits, I guess.”

“Hmmm…you may be reading my mind.” Levi tugged me out of the shop and we made our way over to the park across the street. We sat down in the swings and swayed back and forth.

“So if we aren’t wearing suits, will be just be wearing button ups?”

“I was thinking of something…a little more like us.” My eyes went wide and he looked up towards the sky as he kicked off the ground. “It almost feels the same as back then. Flying forward and falling back like this. I can remember the movements.” He leaned his head back and shut his eyes, just letting the swing move back and forth. “The maneuver gear…It was like a second skin to me.” I nodded knowingly and watched him swing back and forth a few more times. “So…that’s why I was thinking…maybe we should do a cosplay wedding?”

“SERIOUSLY!!” I jumped off my own swing and landed in the dirt as I stared at him in disbelief.

“It’s our day, Eren. We can do whatever the fuck we want.”

“That sounds perfect!!” He jumped off his own swing and landed flawlessly next to me, arms wrapping around me and pulling me close to capture my lips. I’d never grow tired of his kisses, or his touches. Everything about Levi, set my skin alive as soon as he was next to me.

“Then it’s set.” He leaned his forehead against mine and smiled. I was the luckiest man alive.

 

 

Later that day

We were walking to our final destination for the night after having dinner. It was just a short walk, so we strolled down the sidewalk, noticing the line already gathered at the bar. Levi led me to the back of the line and I grinned at him. I was beyond excited. Eventually, the line moved and Levi handed over our tickets. He grabbed us two bottles of water from the bar, before leading me through the crowd, as close to the stage as we could get. The opening bands were pretty good, but nothing like what I was waiting for. The music they played in between sets went quiet and everyone screamed as the Amity Affliction walked out onto the stage. My heart was pounding as they started playing.

_It's never easy to face yourself_   
_Everyday, through the fog of shrouded memories_   
_It's never easy to face your past_   
_Everyday, through the haze of the aftermath_

I was so excited, I didn’t think about the hordes of people around us. I was just thinking about the music, the song we’d listened to together so many times.

 

  
_Yeah_  
 _It's never easy to admit_  
 _That you've faltered and fallen_  
 _You can't do this alone_  
 _That you can't do this all alone_  
 _I've felt the fear in your eyes_  
 _I've slipped into that void_  
 _And I've felt the cold of the morning_  
 _And I know_

 

Levi was right next to me, smiling brightly and my world was lighting up. This was amazing. Happiness coursing through my veins. It’s okay to be happy. I deserve this. WE deserve this. After all the trials and pain we went through, we fucking deserved this.

_It's never easy to admit_   
_That you've faltered and fallen_   
_And you can't do this alone_   
_Down in that void buried so deep_   
_Searching for love but not for sleep_   
_Just know that nothing's set in stone_

 

I felt my legs moving before I could stop myself. I heard Levi call my name, but I had to. I had to be closer to them. They fueled our dreams, sung with us through all the lows. Always encouraging. I reached the end of the stage, feeling a warmth against my side. Levi had shoved his way to my side.

_And I know how some others won't_   
_The cold steel and regret_   
_The failure and remorse_   
_Just trying to tell you_   
_You're not here alone_

 

“Eren?” I beamed at him as I looked up, Joel was right in front of me, eyes closed as he screamed out the lyrics.

_OH_   
_We're all in this together_   
_Shining bright through the fog_   
_Filling the skies with our light_   
_With our light, with our light_

He looked down at us, at Levi desperately holding onto my hand as people pushed us back and forth. He smiled, before taking my hand and pulling me up on stage. My heart was pounding. He motioned for Levi to come up too.

 

_It's never easy to admit_   
_That you've faltered and fallen_   
_And you can't do this alone_   
_Down in that void buried so deep_   
_Searching for love but not for sleep_   
_Just know that nothing's set in stone_

 

We sang a few verses before he smiled at me again and patted me on the back. I looked over to Levi and nodded at him as we took off running, hands interlocked.

_Don't be the one_  
 _To bear the weight of the world_  
 _While that world passes by_  
  
_It's never easy to admit_  
 _That you've faltered_  
 _That you've fallen_  
 _I'm just trying to tell you_  
 _That you aren't here alone_

 

The moment our feet left the stage, it felt like we were flying. I didn’t have any regrets. If we hit the floor, we’d hit the floor together.

_It's never easy to admit_   
_That you've faltered and fallen_   
_And you can't do this alone_   
_Down in that void buried so deep_   
_Searching for love but not for sleep_   
_Just know that nothing's set in stone_

We landed on top of a bunch of supporting arms. They carried us back a few feet before lowering us gently to the ground, fingers still locked together. I yanked Levi to me and kissed him, adrenaline pumping through my veins.

“I love you!!” I screamed it over the music, and he screamed it back, before pulling me back towards the front.

We're all in this together  
Shining bright through the fog  
We're all in this together.

 

We were in this together. We would be happy in this life. We’d found each other and we’d overcome all the tests that were thrown our way. We could finally have the life of peace that we both longed for.

 


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happily Ever After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while writing this guys T.T You have all been awesome! Stay tuned for the sequel.
> 
> In the mean time, here is my brand new work.   
> Searching For Meaning  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/4887754/chapters/11207749
> 
> Also thanks to my awesome beta Erwin!!!

Eren’s POV

I was excited. I couldn’t even think of the words to explain the joy coursing through me. Though the flights were long, everyone made it safely to Paris. We were back atop the familiar steps in Montmartre. I was inside the cathedral, waiting for the ceremony to start. Mikasa was standing beside me, hand clasped tightly around mine. She looked great in her cosplay, her red scarf standing out amid her uniform of brown and white. She wasn’t wearing the cloak, but the wings of freedom were printed proudly on her jacket.

“Calm down.” She whispered to me as I fussed with my cloak. It needed to be just right. My stomach was sinking as I waited for the doors to be opened. It’s not like I had anything to worry about, because technically Levi and I were already married. We tied the knot in the local courthouse back home, just the two of us, right before we left for Paris. We wanted to make sure all the legalities were sorted out. The door opened in front of us, and she gave my hand a small squeeze. “Ready?” I nodded and we stepped forward, out into the remaining sunlight of the day. The sky was streaked with beautiful colors, reds, purples and bright oranges. I could see all of Paris laid out in front of us. We walked around the corner, followed by Armin. He took his place beside Erwin, who was actually standing now, his leg completely healed.

Heart beats fast Colors and promises How to be brave How can I love when I'm afraid To fall

I walked with Mikasa between the rows of our friends. Isabel was crying already, her baby bump sticking out further that it had before. Farlan was rubbing her back and he smiled as us as we walked past. Jean and Marco were together on our right, Jean in his Survey Corps jacket and Marco in his Military police coat. I felt my heart start to jump in my chest as we walked slowly down.

But watching you stand alone All of my doubt Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I looked forward and my heart stopped. Levi was standing at the end, in front of the magnificent sunset. In front of all of Paris. I felt tears well up, but I blinked them away. Hanji was standing to his left, Armin and Erwin to his right.

I have died every day waiting for you

Darlin' don't be afraid I have loved you for a Thousand years I'll love you for a Thousand more

A thousand years? Maybe longer than that. I’ve loved Levi before this life even started. Back in the times where we feared for our lives every day. He looked amazing. He didn’t wear his cloak, but his jacket was form fitting, showing off every bend and curve of his body. That body that I knew so well. His cravat was tied perfectly, and it drew my mind back to my dreams. The times when he protected me, the times we hid in his room until we had to go train.

Time stands still beauty in all she is I will be brave I will not let anything Take away What's standing in front of me Every breath, Every hour has come to this

One step closer

Our eyes met and I nearly froze. Those beautiful grey eyes, shimmering like they were liquid silver. His smile was wide as he looked at me with all the love in the world. His eyeliner was heavy today, but done perfectly. He was perfect, and he was all mine.

I have died every day Waiting for you Darlin' don't be afraid I have loved you for a Thousand years I'll love you for a Thousand more

We got to the end of the makeshift aisle, and Mikasa handed me over, going to stand beside of Hanji. I heard the constant click of the camera, the photographer was going a little crazy, but I’d appreciate it later. Levi took my hands in his own as he grinned at me and tilted our foreheads together for a short moment.

And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought Your heart to me

I have loved you for a Thousand years I'll love you for a Thousand more

Kenny stepped up, papers in his hands, shuffling through the stack to find the right page. Levi rolled his eyes at him, before Kenny patted him on the back and stood behind us.

“So you two wanted to do your own vows. Levi, I’ll let you start.” Fuck. I was gonna lose it. He held my hands so tenderly, and I craved to be closer. To have his arms wrapped tight around my waist, soothing my pounding heart. Levi took the ring from Erwin. It was my ring, the one Levi had surprised me with months ago, but I needed him to slide it back on my finger. To make it official.

“Eren, I never knew true happiness until I met you. We’ve been through some rough times. Trials that made me grow to appreciate and love you even more. We made it through, and now, we can finally be together forever. I’m so thankful for you, and I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do than spend the rest of our lives together. I love you Eren.” He slipped the ring on my finger and I couldn’t help the tear that slid down my cheek or the shaky breath I let out. He reached up and tenderly wiped it away. I could see the tears in his own eyes, but he hadn’t let them fall.

“L-Levi…” He rubbed my hands gently, soothing me so my tears would stop. “I…I was so lost before I met you. I was living everyday just to survive, and I was so miserable. You took me into your arms and you showed me what it meant to be loved and cherished. You gave me every ounce of affection that my heart longed for. I-I…” Levi was wiping at his own eyes now as he held onto my hands with one of his own. “I don’t ever want to be with anyone else. Levi, you are my world, and I’m so ready to start this new adventure with you. I love you so much.” New tears sprung to my eyes, and he wiped them away, before Armin tapped on my shoulder, dropping his ring into my hand. I shakily slid it onto his finger and looked straight into his eyes, turquoise meeting grey. My favorite color, a reminder of the man I love.

“You can kiss the…ugh…well just kiss!” Kenny clapped and Levi closed the short distance between us, hooking his arm around my waist and bringing our lips together. He licked over my bottom lip and kissed me deeply for just a second, before we broke the kiss. He pressed his lips to mine one final time, before he pulled away, squeezing my hand as he looked into my eyes.

“I now present Levi and Eren Ackerman!” Isabel was absolutely bawling her eyes out, and as I looked around at all of our friends, dressed in their uniforms, my mind flashed back to the promise Levi had made me, before he draped his cloak over me. “I will return to you. Whether it’s in this world or another one. We’ll find each other. I promise you that. But today, you’ll be back in my arms.”

We walked the short distance together to the road running alongside the Sacre Coeur, finding the restaurant we’d reserved for the reception. There was food already sat out, and after everyone ate, they started dancing to the soft music playing. After my plate was cleared, Levi took my

hand and led me to the middle of the floor. The song immediately switched and a piano started playing. This song…it was so familiar. He wrapped his arms around my neck, and I pulled his closer with my arms around his waist. I heard his voice echo through the restaurant, and my heart did a flip flop.

Nothing more than strangers Passing by out on the street Memories are fading though It's only been a week

Levi…Levi was singing to me as we swayed back and forth. Then it hit me. This was one of the songs that played when we first danced together. This was-

“Our first kiss.” I looked at him as my cheeked flooded again and he simply nodded and ran his fingers over the nape of my neck. “L-Levi…”

All the little things are gone The things we used to be Nobody could take us down There was only you and me

He looked right into my eyes as he sang, the beautiful piano accented every note he sang. My hands trembled on his waist and he just drew my closer, soothing my frantic heartbeat.

And without you I can't be You're the universe to me You're the air in my lungs You're the fields where I run You're the sky where I'm floating

I was crying silently as we danced slowly to the music, to the beautiful sound of his voice. He only sung for me. This was one of those tender moments, a moment I’d cherish forever.

It's you, you, you It's you, woah Don't want to be a stranger Want to be the one you need I can be your world, your life Your lover, all for free All the little things come back The things we used to be

Nobody can take us down there It's only you and me

My heart was soaring, pulse hammering unbelievably hard. Levi’s eyes never left mine as he sang, and he ran a thumb over my cheeks, wiping the tears away.

And without you I can't be You're the universe to me You're the air in my lungs You're the fields where I run You're the sky where I'm floating

The piano trailed off, and shifted to another soft song that I didn’t recognize. Levi brought our lips together, kissing me deeply and lovingly. He tasted as sweet as always, and the kiss was so gentle. Gentle and caring, cherishing every moment we were together. We broke apart and I leaned my forehead down to his.

“I love you, Eren.”

“I love you too, Levi.”

A few days later

Not only was I a bundle of nerves as we made our way to our new home in Tokyo, but I was full of excitement. We’d brought Kirara with us, and when we climbed out of the cab and walked to the apartment, I carried the pet carrier and dragged my suitcase along. Levi drug his own and carried his messenger bag.

He turned the key to the apartment, and we were finally stepping through the door. We were home. Our boxes were waiting for us inside and I couldn’t help but smile. Right now it was pretty empty, but soon it’s really feel like home. Levi shut the door and locked it, before I let Kirara out. She happily jumped out and stretched, before running off to explore the simple apartment.

I followed Levi to the bedroom, where fresh sheets and a down filled comforter awaited us. It’d be heaven after the long day we’d had, finalizing paperwork and getting the last minute details at his work settled. Thank god his Japanese was improving, the lessons he was taking were really paying off. We’d be totally screwed without it.

He sat his messenger bag down by the bed, before he pulled me right up against him.

“Mr. Ackerman, you look damn sexy today.” He teased as he brought our lips together. Sure we were both worn out, but any time he called me that it set my heart on fire. I was so glad we were finally married, so glad that things had worked out.

“So do you, Captain.” I felt his pulse speed up as I spoke, heart pounding in his chest that was pressed so closely to mine. His mouth went to work on my neck and I just let the handle of my suitcase fall to the floor, long forgotten as he licked and sucked, marking me as his. “L-Levi-“

“Mhmm. Your skin is always so sweet.” He licked his lips as he smiled at me, before his fingers played at the hem of my shirt. I pulled back a little so he could pull my shirt over my head and toss it onto the floor. His own was meeting the floor, before he could rejoin our lips. With his arms securely around me, he pushed me gently onto the bed and we fell back together. My heart leaped as he landed on top of me, straddling my hips.

“I love you so much, Eren.” A little moan escaped my lips as he pushed his hips down, rubbing against my growing hard on.

“Fuck, Levi…” My pants and underwear were being pulled off, before my mind could even catch up. I felt his lips close down on me, and I cried out as he took me all the way into his mouth. “Hnnng.” I grabbed at the sheets behind me, tangling them as I clutched them hard. He pulled back with a pop and looked up at me.

“You’re so beautiful Eren.” He told me every time we made love, every time I stood in front of the mirror, and I was actually beginning to believe it. Just the way he looked at me, like I was the only person in the world made me start thinking it was true. His hungry eyes found mine before he stood up, pants falling to the floor along with his underwear.

He gently pushed me up further onto the bed, before he climbed back on top of me, laying flush against me. He brought our lips together, ravishing my mouth like it was his favorite treat. He sucked gently on my lower lip, and explored the inside of my mouth. I’m sure he learned every detail by the many kisses we’d shared before, but we had yet to lose the fervor in our kisses. I don’t think we ever will, really.

We broke apart, both panting and hard against each other. Levi reach off the side of the bed and grabbed the bottle I knew he kept in his messenger bag, just in case. He slicked his fingers up, before reaching down and circling my entrance gently, teasing me until I couldn’t take it.

“Levi, please.” I breathed it out and as he captured my lips again, he slid his finger inside, waves of bliss running through me. He crooked his finger a little and a jolt shot through me. FUCK. He wasn’t human, there was no way. He had a talent for finind my sweet spot on the first try, making me shake with pleasure all the way through his precise movements. His fingers gently worked me, stretching me slowly and dileberately, taking all the time in the world. There was no rush, only sweet kisses and that wonderful pleasure pulsing through me from his delicate fingers.

Finally, after he was pleased with the preparation, I heard the bottle snap open again, before he slicked himself up. He teasingly pressed at my entrance, breaths heavy and pupils blown wide.

“L-Levi. God, I need you. Please.” I squeezed his shoulder and he laced our fingers together, before he started pressing in, filling me all the way up. The feeling that I’d never grow tired of. Becoming as close to Levi as possible. I loved every second of it. It didn’t take long, before I was urging him to move.

After his first few slow thrusts, I was whining, clawing at his shoulder with my free hand. He pulled back a little and I felt his hand run down my thigh, all the way to my knee, before he gently lifted it up, holding it against his shoulder. He pushed hard into me, hammering right into my prostate and I couldn’t help the scream that left my lips. He was pushing insanely deep, lighting my nerves on fire.

“Fuck Eren. You feel so good. Ahh-“ He was thrusting so hard that the bed squeaked. I could barely catch my breath, holding onto his hand with everything I had. One particularly rough thrust shifted me closer to the edge of the bed, but he was unrelenting, just moving closer and hammering right into that sweet bundle of nerves that only he knew how to light on fire.

“Le-vi. Le-vi. Oh. There. Please. Hnnng, oh fuck.” I reach onto the nightstand to grasp anything that would anchor me down, but once again, my muscles were no use against Levi’s hips. He pushed me back, drawing a scream from me, and shoving me halfway onto the nightstand. We heard a crash as glass shattered on the floor, but neither of us paid attention to it. It was just a lamp. Who the fuck cared- "AHHH THERE. Don’t stop.” I gave up trying to hold onto anything behind me and just leaned forward to grasp onto his shoulders. He wrapped his own arms around my back and we fell even further back, lost in waves of ecstasy.

He was panting hard, sucking and nipping on my neck with every thrust. I felt that tight coil beginning, the sweet heat that begged for release and I held on for dear life as he pushed me right down into the mattress.

“L-LEVI! I’IM GONNA-“

“Cum for me babe.” He slipped his hand between us and grasped my cock hard, pumping a few times before I fell over the edge with a scream.

“AHHH. FUCK. FUCK. LEVI!!!!” I howled his name as waves of unrelenting pleasure coursed through me, nearly pushing me towards the edge of overstimulation.

“EREN. FUCK YES. AGHHH!” He moaned, a sweet sound that I would never tire of, as I felt warmth fill me. He pumped a few more times, before collapsing on top of me. As soon as he saw I was hanging off the bed, halfway on the nightstand, he scooted back and pulled me right up against his chest. We were both breathing hard, completely spent. I tucked my head down against his chest, but he tilted it back to press a kiss to my forehead.

“Wow.” He chuckled and wrapped a leg around me, pulling me even closer, right up against him. We were slick and sticky, but none of that mattered. All that mattered was being close to the man I loved.

“Damn. We broke in the bed sooner than I thought we would.” I chuckled sleepily as his fingers swept through my hair, easing me into a blissful state of serenity. I sighed against his chest as his fingers rubbed through my hair.

“We broke the lamp sooner than I thought too.” He snickered and buried a kiss in my hair. We heard a meow, and Kirara was staring at us, snuggled up together, a mess of tangled limbs. Levi just shook his head and she meowed again, before walking away.

This is what true happiness was. In a country that I’d always dreamed of visiting, let alone living in, with my amazing husband. I felt myself drifting into sleep while I thought about the events that had led up to this moment. Love really did save me. Brighter than any darkness that would ever try to interfere.

“Eren…”

“Hmm?” He tilted my head up a little, before he pressed his lips to mine, so sweet and gentle, and holding every ounce of love and affection that made my heart ache. I was so thankful. So thankful that my price had rescued me. That he was making all my dreams come true.

“I love you. Past, present, and future, my love for you will only continue to grow.” I looked up into those brilliant grey eyes that I loved and smiled at his wonderfully sweet words.

“I’ll always love you, Levi.” I muttered the words, before I tucked my head against his chest and felt myself drift off. Into a dream of our past. Of green fields and winged cloaks, of monsters that were relentless. But I knew that my dream would turn out happily. Either Levi would save me in my dream, or I’d awake, still captured in his loving embrace. I would be happy wither way, pressed right up against my Captain as I listened to the lulling sound of his heartbeat. Thrum, thrum, thrum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The new fic!   
> Searching For Meaning  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/4887754/chapters/11207749


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again!

Hello! I just wanted to update here and let everyone now that I have published the first chapter of the sequel! You can find it here:

 

[Love Can Save Us: Bonds](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5966974/chapters/13712851)


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